The Arrangement
by Madison0705
Summary: Ana and Christian meet very differently...Our couple will have a long road ahead of them if they are going to find a happy ever after together. Christian and Ana both have pasts that they are trying to overcome. Their paths cross and they find themselves needing each other more than they have ever needed anyone. Can two broken people learn to trust one another?
1. Prologue

_All characters below to E.L. James._

 _Author's note: This chapter contains physical and verbal abuse that may be a trigger for some readers. Please proceed with caution if this is an area that is a trigger for you._

 **Prologue**

"I'll come by around four to pick you up for the dinner tonight. Be sure you are ready on time, the last thing I need is to show up late again to a dinner. Where the blue dress I picked out for you, hair up, minimal make up and no jewelry other than your ring. Understood?"

"Yes, I'll be ready by four."

"Good."

With that the door closes, no goodbye, no kiss, nothing, just the firm closing of the door. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to tonight, not that I'm looking forward to the tasteless dinner and boring conversations. It's been so long since I've been out of the house besides running errands or going to the grocery store. I miss meaningful adult conversations, I can't remember the last time I talked to someone about something other than the upkeep of the house or the weather. My days are spent by myself, my nights typically are pretty much the same. My life has become very lonely in the last year which is why something as silly as a business dinner has been the highlight of my entire month. I had hoped to get my hair cut and colored before the dinner tonight, but unfortunately he decided we shouldn't spend the money on my hair and that it was fine the way it was. I know it's not fine…I have split ends because my hair hasn't been trimmed in over a year, the highlights I once loved have nearly faded away leaving an odd coloring to my hair. I know better than to argue, so I just nodded and didn't bring it up again. I don't have much money of my own and even if I did I wouldn't dare go against what he says and get my hair cut.

After doing my daily chores, I'm left with only an hour or so to get ready for dinner tonight. Although I'm tight on time, I decide to soak a few extra minutes in the bathtub before getting ready for dinner. I could lose myself soaking in this tub and it's something I don't do nearly as much as I should. My days are filled with keeping up with the house, running errands and the yard work, which rarely gives me time to relax. Usually it's all I can do to clean up from dinner after he eats before crashing into bed at night. I wish I had more time to enjoy the tub, but the few minutes I have right now will have to be enough. The alarm clock I set dings letting me know I have less than half an hour before he comes home from work to pick me up. I quickly get out of tub, dry off and head into our large walk in closet where the blue dress I was told to wear is hanging waiting for me. If it was up to me, I wouldn't be wearing this dress. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful dress – it's just not my style. In my opinion, the front is cut too deep which ends up catching everyone's attention and naturally their eyes stay focused on my chest when they talk to me. The dress has a pretty high slit as well, going nearly up to the top of my thigh which again seems to attract people's attention. Despite all of this I know why he chose this dress, it's because of the back. The back of the dress is high which leaves none of my skin showing meaning no one can see the bruises or the scars that are left there.

I gasp when I finally step out of the closet again; I somehow spent more than ten minutes getting changed which means I have fifteen minutes tops to get ready because I'm expected to be ready even if he gets home a few minutes early. I quickly gather my hair into a quick up do before curling a few pieces that fall near my face. Next is my make up, I chuckle to myself remembering he said minimal make up since it's going to take a couple coats of foundation to hide the still yellow bruise on my cheek. I would rather use more make up than risk someone asking about the bruise in front him; the consequence of letting someone see the bruise would be far worse than the consequence of him thinking I used too much make up. I'm slipping on my heels when he walks into the bedroom; I don't know how he does it but he can sneak into the house without me ever hearing him.

"Are you ready yet?" he asks.

"I just need to grab my purse."

"I said no jewelry, didn't I?"

"Yes, I don't-"

 _Slap_

I feel the sting before I have time to prepare myself and the force of it has me falling against the bed. As he storms out of the room I quickly glance over my body trying to find the offending piece of jewelry. My engagement ring is still on; I'm not wearing a watch or necklace. My hands run over my ears and I immediately cringe, I forgot to take out my diamond earring studs. I quickly take them out and toss them into my jewelry box before rushing out into the living room where he is waiting for me.

"If we're late because you can't follow directions you will be punished."

He walks out the door without waiting for my response although I'm not surprised. I quickly lock up the house and go to the car where he is already waiting for me tapping the wheel with his fingers impatiently. The ride to the restaurant is quiet and awkward, I know better than to say anything to him when he is a mood like this. It's better for me to let him make the first move than for me to approach him before he has cooled down. If he hits me in the car on the way to dinner I risk a bruise showing up before the night is over which will ruin the perfect image he needs to maintain with his business associates.

"I don't think I told you how beautiful you look tonight," he takes my hand in his and we walk into the restaurant looking like the perfect couple he wants others to believe we are. No one could ever know that underneath this strong exterior is a man who frequently loses control at home and who can't control his temper.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"Make me proud tonight, baby," he kisses me on the cheek squeezing my hand tightly although I'm not sure if it's meant to comfort or warn me. I take all of his gestures as warnings; I learned a long time ago that with him everything is a warning….a promise of what is to come if things don't go his way.

The night is just like all the other business dinners I've attended; my role is simple, stand, smile and make small chat when someone speaks to me. I am not to share any opinion I have about business, politics or religion since these are often hot button topics. Instead I have been provided with a list of topics that are considered safe, meaning that I can discuss with someone but only if they bring up these topics first. I am never to approach anyone, never to start up a conversation with someone unless they have approached me.

"You look beautiful tonight Ana," Ms. Smith says I sit down next to her.

"Thank you, you look stunning in that dress," I complement.

"I think I recognize that dress….didn't one of the celebrities wear it to an awards banquet a couple months ago?"

"Yes, it's the very same dress."

"You are such a lucky woman Ana! To have a wonderful man who adores you and buys you such expensive clothing!"

"I am very lucky," playing the perfect girlfriend I lean over and kiss him on the cheek, he looks at me with approval as if that was the response I was supposed to give.

Dinner is boring, the men talk about business while the women talk about the nonsense of some reality show that they are all watching. We don't have a television in our house so I can't contribute to the conversation. Even though this is boring as hell, I would rather much be here than at home.

"I'm going to get a drink, would you like something dear?" he asks.

"No, I'm fine thank you," I'm still slowly sipping my one glass of wine – the only glass I'm permitted to have when we are out. He doesn't like to take the chance of me drinking too much and forgetting the rules and embarrassing him.

"So tell me Ana, how is your garden doing this year?" Mr. Ryan asks, surprising me that he remembers that I even have a garden, we've only spoken about it once or twice. Thankfully though gardening is one of the topics that have been deemed safe so I can talk freely about it.

"We had some issues with rabbits trying to eat my pepper plants, but I used a homemade spray that has seemed to work well at keeping them away. The plants are slowly starting to come back so I'm hopeful that I'll still be able to get a few vegetables off it this year."

"That's wonderful! We had an issue with deer last year and they completely ruined my tomato plants-"

"Oh no!"

"Wasn't much we could do to save them but we tried this expensive spray that my wife found in the garden store and after the second bottle they finally left the plant alone. I think we only had two or three tomatoes on that plant the entire year."

"I'm sorry, next time try an egg wash, it helped keep the deer away from our apple trees."

"An egg wash?"

"Yes, I have a gardening book at home that recommended it; I was doubtful but it worked like a charm. Just reapply the mixture every few days and the deer will stop coming around because they don't like the smell."

"That's a wonderful idea! I will have to tell my wife about it when I get home tonight."

"She's not here with you?"

"No, our youngest developed a fever this morning and we didn't want to leave him with a sitter."

"Poor thing, I hope he feels better."

"Thank you."

I sense him behind me before I even feel him; I can't read his expression when he sits down next to me. I recall every word that I just spoke and can't come up with anything that would anger him; gardening is a safe topic and Mr. Ryan and I have spoken about our gardens before. I find myself hoping that he isn't angry at me but that something happened when he was getting a drink that changed his mood. No matter what the reason though I know he will take his anger out on me tonight when we get home. He always does, even if it has nothing to do with me. His job is stressful, something I can never understand he always tells me.

"Gentlemen, if you will excuse us we need to be going," he pulls my chair out like the perfect gentleman.

We say our goodbyes and head out of the restaurant in silence. The keys are given to the valet who quickly brings up our car; the ride home is as quiet as the ride there was. His knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly; his lips are pressed into a firm line conveying his anger and displeasure with me.

"I thought the chicken was good."

"Shut up."

Yup, clearly not cooled down yet. I can't figure out what I did wrong but I know he's mad at me for something. Something I did when he was getting a drink caused the shift in his mood but for the life of me I can't figure it out. I'm left with no choice but to wait until we get home and hope that at some point he alerts me to my wrongdoings. He's always quick to point out my mistakes, my flaws, so I'm sure I will know very quickly what it was that I did. I just have to hope he gets his anger out quickly; his outbursts only last for a few minutes before he storms out of the house to go to a bar. He'll come back a few hours later drunk and apologizing for what he did. The bruises will heal in a few days and during those days I will walk on eggshells not wanting to anger him again and risk further damage. He's already broken a couple of my ribs; that was pain I hope to never feel again so I do my best to not to anger him after an episode.

We pull into the garage a few minutes later and my anxiety is heightened knowing what is about to come. There's no avoiding his reaction, his anger right now. There's no point in arguing with whatever he thinks I did, I've learned the hard way that only angers him more.

"Was I not fucking clear when we left the house today?"

"You were." I whisper.

"The moment I fucking leave you….that fucking moment you chose to flirt with the vice president of my company? And you fucking do it in front of me?!"

 _Slap_

"You're a fucking slut! I can't take you anywhere! He's a fucking married man with a wife and sick child at home! Don't you ever think about anyone other than yourself?"

"I'm sorry."

 _Crack_

His fist hits my face hard, I fall against the coffee table the corner of it catches my side and I fall again to the floor. I want to argue with him, I want to tell him I wasn't flirting, that we weren't doing anything wrong but I know better than to say anything. If I argue with him it will only be worse.

"Am I not good enough for you? Do I not give you everything? I bought this fucking house for you! I hate it; I hate the yard, the area, I hate everything about this fucking place but I bought it because you liked it. I pay for everything you need, you don't have a want in the world that I don't meet and this is how you thank me?!"

His kicks my ribs, hard, knocking the wind right out of me. It's the same ribs side where I broke my ribs before. I don't need an x ray to tell me they're broken again; the pain I feel when I try to take a breath is all the confirmation I need.

"His eyes were all over you! They were glued to your fucking small tits and you did nothing to redirect him! You sat there and let him stare at your tits; I bet it turned you on when he looked at you, didn't it? Did you want him to fuck you?"

"No!" I whimper as he kicks me hard again in the same spot.

"You're a fucking liar," he yanks my hair pulling me from the ground and there is nothing I can do but following him as he pulls me across the room.

My back is slammed up against the wall, picture frames fall off the wall and shatter from the force. His eyes are dark with rage, darker than I've ever seen them. He is angry, angrier than I've ever seen him and for the first time I'm petrified. He's scared me before but I always knew he would never take it too far but for the first time ever I'm scared to death he will take it too far. My eyes search the room, looking for what I don't know but as I try to move from him he pushes me against the wall, my head slamming hard against it.

"I do everything for you and you are nothing but an ungrateful slut who thinks she can flirt with the first man who says hello to her after I leave the table! Is it because he makes more money than I do?" his hand is around my neck the moment I open my mouth to answer. His grip is tightening, slowly cutting off my air supply. "You are a piece of shit! I should have known you would turn out just like your mother! My father was right, you are no better than she is! She is a fucking slut just like you are! Why I ever thought you were different is beyond me."

His grip on my throat is tightening again, the room is slowly going black around me and in that moment I know….I know he's going to kill me.

"Fucking bitch."


	2. Chapter 1

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Holy cow guys! 55 reviews for one chapter! I was certain that I wouldn't get many readers with this story because my summary was short and kind of sucked. But wow! The response to this first chapter was more than I ever could have hoped for! So many theories as to who the guy in the first chapter was and whether or not he was Christian! It's going to be a little while before you get answers to_ _ **all**_ _the questions you have because for now we're going to jump ahead in our story a little bit._

 _Author's Note 2: To the guest who wrote "_ And I feel no sympathy for her dumb ass. If she stayed that long she deserves to have her ass kicked." _I truly hope you are never involved in an abusive relationship and never know someone who is. You hardly have any information about Ana but you have already formed a very strong opinion of her. My one chapter did not give you any indication as to how long the abuse was going on for, how long they were together or even why Ana stayed. Every day, in every country, women are being beat by their significant other and yes many of them stay but their reasons are their own. Do not judge why someone stays in a relationship until you have walked in their shoes. No one deserves to have her "ass kicked" by someone who supposedly loves her, I don't care how long they were together or what she supposedly did wrong._

 **Chpt. 1 APOV**

"I'll see you tomorrow Ana," Maria calls.

"Bright and early," I chuckle as the door closes behind me.

It's nearly noon and I've already worked seven hours today; I have a couple of hours before I need to rush to my second job which I'm hoping to spend napping. By the time the day is over I will have worked about 12 hours today, just like yesterday and most of the other days this week. I work four to five days a week at a bakery in the morning which I absolutely love. Most people probably wouldn't find working in a bakery enjoyable, but since starting there I've discovered how much I enjoy baking something I never did before. When I first applied to the bakery they were looking for just a cashier however when they were short staffed one day the owner asked me to whip up a batch of cookies and ever since has split my shift between baking and the register. Unfortunately as much as I love that job, it doesn't come close to paying the rent so I also work as a second job as a personal shopper at a high end department store. The pay isn't the greatest either and I don't particularly enjoy what I do, but it helps to pay the bills. The people I meet can be stuck up and often act like they're better than you are, but every once in a while I will meet someone who is decent.

I don't work in the neighborhood I live in even though it would be much more convenient and wouldn't require me to take two buses each way to work. The reality is, the area I live in is a dump and there really are no decent paying jobs in this area. My options here are limited to corner stores and gas stations neither of which are safe so instead I spend 30 minutes commuting on two buses sometimes up to four times a day so I can make enough money to return to the crappy neighborhood.

The building my apartment is in is run down and covered in graffiti, like any other day there are people hanging out on the front steps already getting drunk or waiting to buy drugs. I ignore them and they ignore me; it works for everyone involved. My apartment is small, basically the living room and bedroom are the same place with a small kitchen area against one wall. There is a small fridge with a freezer, a very small sink and a hot plate. The bathroom is just off the living room/bedroom and is just big enough for one person; if you are sitting on the toilet and someone were to open the door they would hit your knees. I've tried to make my space as warm and comfortable as possible; I've spent money I really didn't have to paint the walls and buy small items that make it feel more like a home. No one but me sees it but the small touches make me smile when I come home; it reminds me that this is my own space, a space where no one can control what I do.

"Hello?" My phone rings the moment I sit down on my daybed.

"Ana, it's Nancy. "

"Hi Nancy, how are you?"

"I'm in a bind. We're incredibly short staffed and I just received a call from one of your clients insisting that they need a dress tonight and that you are the only one they trust-"

"Elena?"

"Yes," she chuckles. "The only thing is she insists she can't wait until you are scheduled to come in because she needs this dress tonight. I know you're not scheduled to come in until four…."

"What time does she need me?"

"No later than one thirty."

"I'll be there."

"Thank you Ana! She said she will make it worth your time."

"I'm sure she will. I'll see you shortly."

And like that, my plan for taking a nap is gone although knowing Elena as well as I do she will definitely make it worth my time which is always appreciated since money is tight. I quickly start a pot of coffee, knowing I'm going to need it if I'm going to make it until closing tonight and stay awake on the bus ride home. I've worked as a personal shopper for a few months now; landing the job was pure luck because I'm hardly qualified for something like this. I was killing time between an interview at a coffee house and waiting for a bus when I decided to walk around the store to escape the rain. Why I chose this store was beyond me because there was no way I could even afford a scarf in a place like this anymore. At one time this was the type of store I shopped in regularly; where I used the service of a personal shopper often. Walking around the store surprisingly didn't make me miss anything from that time in my life, instead it made me realize how much my life has changed since then and in my case change was good. While I was walking around the store I noticed an older woman impatiently waiting at a counter desperately trying to get the cashier's attention but the cashier was busy with a long line of people. I happen to walk by her when she mumbled under her breath about useless staff who probably wouldn't be able to tell her if the item was this year's design or last year's.

 _Flashback_

 _"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop but did you have a question about that purse?"_

 _"Yes, I doubt you would know but I need to know if this is from this year's collection or if you just routinely stock out of date designs?" she asks, her voice full of disregard and annoyance._

 _"Ma'am I can't tell you what this store stocks, but I can assure you that the purse you are holding is from this year's catalogue. If I remember correctly, it was only released to stores within the last 60 days-"_

 _"Are you sure?" she asks._

 _"Ms. Lincoln, I am so sorry-" a woman quickly approaches us, giving an evil eye to the cashier who still appears to be overwhelmed with her customers._

 _"Apparently you don't value my business," the woman I now know as Ms. Lincoln says. "This young lady came to my rescue and assisted me. I want her to be my personal shopper or you will lose my entire account-"_

 _"But-"_

 _"Get me the manager now!" Ms. Lincoln hisses._

 _"I….Um….Ms. Lincoln?" I ask nervously._

 _"What is it?" she snaps._

 _"I don't work here, so I can't-"_

 _"You will by the time I leave."_

 _"Ms. Lincoln," an older man dressed in a perfect suit approaches us._

 _"Mr. Goodman, nice to see you again," Elena shakes his hand and smiles._

 _"Looking lovely as always Ms. Lincoln; how can I assist you this fine afternoon?" he sends me a wondering look obviously trying to figure out what I'm doing here._

 _"You see, my usual personal shopper over there," Ms. Lincoln glares at the woman who is just behind Mr. Goodman. "Showed up late yet again to our appointment; leaving me to find the purse I needed for the gala tonight. I needed someone to answer a very important question and could not find a single one of your staff members who could spare a couple of minutes to help someone like me who I'm sure I don't need to remind you has a very large account with your store-"_

 _"Of course not Ms. Lincoln, I cannot apologize enough-" he quickly interjects._

 _"I have decided to give you one final chance at keeping my account; you blow this and I take my business somewhere else."_

 _"Of course! Anything you want Ms. Lincoln-"_

 _"Fire her," she glares at the woman._

 _"Done," he gestures for her to leave them which she does in tears._

 _"Hire this lovely woman and assign her to my entire account," she gestures at me._

 _"Ms. Lincoln, this is highly unusual-"_

 _"I'm sure by now you know that I'm a very unusual woman Mr. Goodman," Ms. Lincoln argues._

 _"If Ms-" he looks at me questioningly._

 _"Steele…Anastasia Steele," I nearly whisper trying to find my voice in the confusion that is unfolding before me._

 _"If Ms. Steele has time, I would love to discuss the personal shopper position that recently became available with her."_

 _"Thank you Mr. Goodman," I confirm._

 _"Then that settles it. I will call tomorrow to schedule my first appointment with Ms. Steele."_

I chuckle remembering Elena that day; she knew exactly what she wanted and went for it. Today is no different; she needs me earlier and I am there earlier. She has a very large account with the store, as in multiple people on the account easily spending thousands of dollars a week on high end items. I've been assigned to Elena's entire account almost since day one. My first day I worked directly with Elena but after that I've worked with anyone listed on her account. Her account pretty much makes up my entire customer basis; if I work on a day where someone on her account isn't scheduled I assist with any walk ins or cover for one of the other personal shoppers. However it's clearly known that anytime I'm working if Elena or someone on her account comes in, they become my priority.

Elena is the only reason I even have this job, typically you needs years of retail experience before you can even be considered for a personal shopper position at a high end establishment like this. While I've had plenty of work experience nothing comes even close to something like this. However, living the lifestyle he kept me in for once worked in my favor. I know all the designers, the current trends and even what celebrities where because that's what I was expected to be dressed in. That was the only reason I knew the answer to Elena's question that day.

After Elena left that day, Mr. Goodman immediately fired the woman Elena demanded and then hired me. The entire thing happened so fast I was in complete disbelief when I left a short time later with a secured job. While demanding, Elena has always been very nice to me and tips me well on days like today when she needs me to come in earlier.

"Ana thank you again," Nancy greets me as soon as I enter the staff area.

"It's not a problem Nancy, I'm glad to help out."

"Ms. Lincoln will arrive in the next thirty minutes, she needs a floor length gown for an art gala tonight. Although she didn't specifically request it I'm sure she will need accessories for the gown."

"Of course, I will have everything waiting for her when she arrives. Is her usual room available?"

"Yes, it's reserved for you to use today."

"Perfect."

"Later today she added a new client to your schedule-"

"A new client?"

"Someone new she recently added to your account. As usual she insisted that you are the only one who can assist him."

"Of course," I chuckle knowing that any of the other workers here are more than capable of helping Elena; they have far more experience in personal shopping than I do.

"You'll be providing her with several outfits according to the list: a ball gown, three cocktail dresses and several casual dresses. I emailed you the list and her size information this morning."

"Great thank you."

I quickly go through the store and pick out several gowns that I think Elena would appreciate. Over the last few months I've gotten to know Elena very well including the types of clothing and colors she prefer. Small things like colors and how high heels she prefers are the things that are key to be a successful personal shopper. We are supposed to save them time so it is expected we know exactly what they want and not waste their time on things that they would never consider. I finishing hanging the last of the gowns when Elena appears at my door right on time as always.

"Ms. Lincoln, how are you today?" I greet her.

"Ana dear, how many times I have I told you to call me Elena?"

"Of course, Elena, how are you?" I quickly correct myself. To my knowledge I am the only one here who is permitted to call her Elena; to everyone else she is Ms. Lincoln the demanding client. To me she is Elena, who is demanding but also nice and appreciative of what I do.

"If it wasn't for you I would be screwed," she sighs dramatically. "My incompetent assistant forgot to put the art gala on my schedule; I only learned about the event when one of the organizers contacted me about the schedule for tonight. Can you imagine how I sounded to her not even knowing the event was tonight? I was mortified!"

"I am so sorry, that must have been terrible for you."

"Devastating! Luckily I was able to mumble through the conversation before I fired my assistant on the spot. Then I called here only to find out that you weren't scheduled to be here until the time I needed to arrive at the hair dresser at the only appointment time they had available today. I cannot thank you enough for coming in early; I'm sure you had other things to do today."

"It's fine Elena, really it wasn't a big deal. I was just getting home so the timing was perfect."

"Getting home? Don't tell me you actually had a date this morning?"

As always Elena assumes if I'm not at work it must be because I'm seeing someone. Little does she know is dating is the furthest thing from my mind; the thought of opening myself up and falling in love again is something that terrifies me. I don't think that I could ever trust someone like that again.

"No, I worked this morning-"

"Nancy said you weren't scheduled to work until this afternoon? Was she not aware that you worked this morning?"

"I work at a bakery in the morning which is why I only work evenings here."

"You work two jobs?" she sounds mortified that anyone would work more than one job. I have no idea how much she thinks I make here but it barely covers the rent on my little apartment. The bakery paycheck covers my utility bills, food and the little clothing I have. Working here requires a certain dress code, but even with the discount we receive just one outfit requires me to save two or three paychecks to be able to afford.

"I do; let me show you the dresses I picked out for you for tonight. We don't want you to miss your hair appointment."

With the focus back on Elena, the topic of my finances and why I work two jobs is avoided. Over the course of the next hour Elena tries on the gowns and accessories I selected before finally choosing the one I knew she would pick.

"This is perfect Ana! You have outdone yourself as usual!" she gazes at herself in the mirror taking in the complete outfit.

"Once again your timing was perfect, this collection only arrived at the store this morning. It hasn't even made it to the floor yet-"

"It's perfect for the gala," she confirms.

"If you want to change I will have everything wrapped up for you, I assume we're charging this to your account?"

"Of course."

The dress, undergarments, shoes and jewelry are packaged and waiting for Elena when she steps out of the dressing area. Normally should would have the items delivered to her apartment but even she knows with such a tight schedule tonight delivery isn't an option and adds a risk she doesn't need.

"Ana….how many hours did you work this morning at the bakery?" she asks out of the blue as we are walking out to her car.

"Um…about seven," I'm taking back by her question as I assumed the topic of my employment was long forgotten.

"And you arrived here at what one?" I nod. "What time will you finish tonight?"

"I am scheduled until closing so I should clock out around ten-"

"So you're working 15 hours today?" she quickly does the math in her head.

"About that."

"Is this typical for you?"

"Not really," I'm very uncomfortable with the personal questions but can't figure out how to end the conversation without insulting Elena. If I do anything to jeopardize her account I will lose my job on the spot and there is no way I would be able to afford my apartment without this job. "Some days I work both jobs but other days it's just one or the other."

"I see," she pauses. "One last question, do you enjoy what you do?"

"I enjoy meeting new people and helping them find the perfect outfit," I answer vaguely.

"That's what I thought," she seems to be thinking about something but quickly shakes her head when we arrive at her car. "Thank you again Ana for your help, I truly appreciate you coming in early today for me especially after working this morning."

"Have a great time this evening Elena."


	3. Chapter 2

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Your support of this story completely overwhelms me! I never expected this story to have so many reviews and favorites with only two chapters posted! I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter posted; we had a very large project to undertake at work which unfortunately had me putting in nearly 70 hours a week until it was completed. I couldn't wait to get a free moment to write the next chapter. I love that so many of you already have theories as to Elena's role in this story and what the title of the story truly means. Keep the theories coming! I love reading them!_

 **Chpt. 2 APOV:**

"Ana?" Nancy calls for me as I'm putting the last items on a hanger in the private room I was assigned for the day.

"Sorry Nancy, I was just gathering the remaining items for Ms. Lincoln's new client," I explain.

"Oh good, because he's here now-"

"Now? I thought he wasn't due until four?" I glance at my watch feeling the need to confirm that I haven't lost track of time.

"He wasn't, but apparently his plans have changed and he was hoping to pick up everything now if it was ready."

"Of course, just let me organize everything and I can show it all to him."

Apparently nothing in my day is going as planned today; I fight back a yawn realizing I still have several hours left of work today. Tomorrow I'm only scheduled to work at the bakery in the morning, so as long as nothing else changes I'm planning on spending a few hours in bed catching up on sleep. Today is the third day in a row I'm working both jobs and although I'll be thankful for the increase in hours when I receive my paychecks, right now I'm wishing I had time to take a nap before coming in.

"Ms. Steele, this is Mr. Thompson…Mr. Thompson this is Ms. Steele, she handles all of Ms. Lincolns accounts," Nancy introduces me to the middle aged man next to her dressed in an obviously very expensive business suit.

"Mr. Thompson, it's nice to meet you."

"And you."

"If you need anything, I'll be out front," Nancy leaves.

"I understand from Ms. Lincoln that you need several items; I've organized several options for you however if something is not to your liking I can add more."

"Thank you I appreciate you picking out all of this…I admit I have pretty lousy taste is women's clothing."

"You just let me know colors and styles you like or dislike as we go through the options and then as I get to know you a little better the choices will become less each time you need something yet you will find with fewer choices we have found the perfect outfit for you. Since this is our first meeting, it's going to take a little longer as I gathered items that most of Ms. Lincoln's clients seem to favor."

We spend the next thirty minutes going through each of the items that I had chosen for Mr. Thompson. I learn very quickly he wasn't joking when he said he has lousy taste in women's clothing; he barely says anything as I explain each item and seems unfazed by the designers I mention. By the end though he agrees to a few of the items, although I can't tell if he picks them because he likes them or because he just wants to get out of here. Typically I can read people and by the end of the first meeting will have a fairly good idea of what they will like going forward, but Mr. Thompson still stumps me.

"Will there be anything else you need?" I ask as I zipper everything into the garment bags.

"I don't think so," he says nervously. "I'm taking my….girlfriend on a business trip with me; I think this will cover everything she will need for the trip."

"Is this the first trip she is accompanying you on?"

"Yes," he admits. "I travel a lot for business but rarely bring someone with me."

"I'm sure everything will go smoothly. You have a good selection of clothing options for her; there is something here for casual dinners and others if you need her to attend something more formal."

"You're right…I think you have everything covered."

"If you think of something you need, just call the store before your trip and I'll have something ready for you."

"Thank you Ms. Steele," he shakes my hand as he leaves.

I arrange for the items to be delivered to the address Elena had put on file for Mr. Thompson before Nancy tells me to take a dinner break. Since I wasn't originally scheduled to work so many hours today, she gives me an hour instead of the standard half an hour to get dinner. Seeing as I'm struggling to stay awake, my first stop is going to be to the overpriced coffee shop which is just within walking distance of the store. Having packed my dinner as usual, I grab my lunch bag and umbrella before heading out. Of course it's raining, but the heavy rain from earlier seems to have ended. Raining nearly every day is something that I'm struggling to get used to in Seattle….no matter what the season it seems to rain more here than anywhere I've ever been. Sometimes it's only a quick shower, but other times like earlier today it's torrential downpour which leaves the streets flooded. At least it's somewhat warm out today, although when the wind blows the rain onto me I'm left wishing a grabbed a jacket when I left my apartment this morning.

I'm only a block away from the coffee shop when the sidewalk becomes increasingly crowded as people rush home from work. I'm forced to the end of the sidewalk, left walking too close to the curb but the crowd gives me no option as people just seem to push their way through to get where they want to go. Despite everyone else being in a hurry, for once I'm not…having an hour for a dinner break is far more time than I need. I'm going to grab my coffee, hopefully find an empty table where I can eat my sandwich and read the book I brought along. I love getting lost in a good book; unfortunately on days like today I don't have much time to read except for my break. Tomorrow….

 _Splash_

A shiny black car swerves dangerously close to the curb blaring it's horn; splashing me with water, drenching me from my waist down.

"Fuck!"

"Excuse me….Ms…." a gentleman in a dark, _dry_ , suite exits the driver's side of the car and rushes over to me. "I am so sorry-"

"It's fine," I shake my head sighing.

"No it's not," another gentleman gets out of the car, this time from the back seat, and walks over to where the I'm trying to brush the dirt and water from my clothes not that it's doing much good. This man is dressed in a very expensive dark grey suit with an equally expensive silver tie. He runs his hands through his unruly hair as his grey eyes meet mine. He looks right at me, almost as if he is looking through me; my eyes land on his feet not being able to handle the way he is looking at me. I continue to try to brush my clothes, even though it's obvious there is no chance of the water suddenly disappearing from them.

"I cannot apologize enough," the first man says. "The car in front of us slammed on his breaks without warning, I had to swerve to avoid hitting him. I didn't expect the puddle to be so large and certainly didn't expect it to hit you like it did."

"Really, it's not a big deal," it's a partial lie because really I'm now stuck spending my dinner break buying a new outfit with money I really don't have. "Accidents happen."

"Please, let me take you somewhere to buy you something to wear," the second man says. "I don't want you getting sick-"

"That's very nice of you to offer, but unfortunately I'm on my dinner break from work, so I don't have much time. I'll run and grab a change of clothes before I head back to work, its fine really."

"Here," the second man takes a few bills from his pocket and hands them to me.

"No-" I push against his hand.

"Look, it's our fault that outfit is ruined at least let me pay for you to get a new one-"

"It's really not necessary-"

"It is," he takes my hand in his, opening my fist up so he can put the bills in it before wrapping my fingers around it. "Please, take the money, it's the least I can do considering we've probably ruined your evening."

"It's not ruined," I giggle at the big deal he is making over this. "Really, it's fine. These things happen. Thank you for offering to replace the clothes but it's really-"

"Good bye, Ms…." With that both men walk away from me, cutting me off mid-sentence as I'm left standing on the sidewalk with a handful of money that I was trying to give back. The first man opens the back door for the second one, who turns and smiles at me before getting into the car. It's only then that I realize they both came out of the car without an umbrella and are now probably just as soaked as I am. I shake my head at the irony, given that they were the ones who splashed me and yet ended up getting soaked themselves. I quickly shove the money into my purse, not wanting to stand in a crowd openly holding money and risk drawing attention to myself. I glance at my watch, realizing I barely have enough time to grab my coffee before I need to head back to the store. I'll never have time to eat my lunch, although it's probably not a bad thing since I realize in the chaos of everything my bag had fallen to the ground and was now lying in the offending puddle that splashed me.

Despite everything, I return to work in a better mood then when I left. The fact that there are still decent people in this world makes me smile. The driver of the car that splashed me could have easily kept driving, yet he stopped and physically got out of his car to apologize. He didn't simply roll his window down and yell an apology; he and the person he was with, both took the time to get out of their car and walk over to me. As if an apology wasn't enough, they insisted on paying to replace my outfit which again was beyond what I expected from.

"Oh Ana! What happened?" Nancy rushes towards me as soon as I open the staff entrance to the store.

"A car swerved to miss hitting another car but instead hit a large puddle right next to where I was standing," I shrug.

"Take as much time as you need to get cleaned up," she checks the schedule. "It looks like you have a little while before your next appointment. You'll probably need to purchase something else to wear though; I don't think you'll be able to clean those pants enough in the restroom."

"I know," I sigh not really wanting to spend money on something I really didn't need. "I'll find something and change as quickly as I can."

I clean up as much as I can in the staff restroom before heading onto the main floor of the department store. When you work in a place like this, image is everything. We're expected to wear clothes from the store we work in and our physical appearance is said to be a direct representation of the store. Therefore, I need to be quick in grabbing an outfit and getting off the main floor before too many people see me in my grime covered pants. Unfortunately time is not on my side, therefore I can't bargain hunt like I normally do when I shop here. The first section outside the personal shopper area is career/professional which thankfully works for what I need right now. I grab a tan skirt and stockings before ducking back into the staff restroom. My shoes are soaked, but after wiping them down with a paper towel you can't notice anything so I choose to wear them rather than spending even more money on a new pair of shoes. I pull the tags from the clothes, throw my wet pants and socks into a bag in my locker and head out to meet Nancy for her to ring up my purchases.

"Much better Ana," she smiles taking in my new outfit. "I'm sure you must feel better to be out of those wet clothes."

"I do," I agree. "There's nothing worse than walking a few blocks in a pair of wet pants."

"I can agree with that," she laughs. "When I first moved here I learned the hard way why everyone carries an umbrella even if the sun is shining. Ending up walking six blocks in a pair of soaking wet jeans after getting caught in a sun shower."

"Oh no!"

"Ever since then, I carry an umbrella."

"Well, hopefully this will be the last time I get caught like this. Here's the tags for my shirt and pantyhose that I need to purchase."

"With your discount, your total is $73.98."

I reach into my purse for my wallet, when my hand finds the cash that the man in the black car gave me. Hoping it covers at least half of the cost of this outfit, I pull the bills out and begin counting them. I force myself not to curse aloud when I realize the man gave me $200….me a complete stranger on the street, he hands eight $20 bills, like it was nothing to him.

"Ana?" Nancy pulls me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, here you go," I give her $80 in cash, hiding the rest in my purse until I get lock it back up.

"Here's your receipt, I'm sorry I can't give you any more time-"

"No, it's fine. I'm going to put my stuff away and then I'll get started pulling selections for my next appointment."

Thankfully the rest of my day doesn't get any worse and by the time I leave the rain has completely stopped and my shoes have tried. Half an hour later, I'm home completely exhausted but home. I considering making something to eat quick, but the need for sleep quickly becomes a priority. I lock the front door, set my alarm on my phone and fall asleep still in the new clothes that I bought earlier today having had no energy to change.


	4. Chapter 3

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Thank you for your continued support & reviews are always appreciated! To the Cheyenne who commented as a guest: my Independence story was completed on 9/2 which was before this story was published and Complications is typically updated within 2-3 days of this story being updated if not before. I will not be abandoning Complications to write this story. Once again, thank you for your continued feedback on this story it lets me consider things that I may not have considered before. _

**Chpt. 3 CPOV:**

"Fuck!" I slam another magazine on my desk. "Andrea get a meeting with Roz and my PR department in an hour. Move whatever you have to just make it happen!"

I'm used to my face being on magazines….the paparazzi have been hounding me ever since I made my first million years ago. When I made my first billion it became even worse and now not a week goes by without my name appearing in some article or on some magazine. Typically they are business related articles and magazines which doesn't bother me as they often refer to me as the shark of the business world. I earned that nickname because I often buy out companies who are struggling and then spit them out into smaller pieces which allows other companies to then buy the portions they want as opposed to buying the entire company. Whatever…I don't mind being called a shark; sharks are at the top of the food chain in the ocean so why would this bother me.

Lately though the articles have become personal, attacking me on a different level that I don't understand. Why do they care who I'm fucking? What does it matter whether or not I'm seen with a woman on my arm or different women at different events? My business decisions do not change based upon who I'm fucking so why is it necessary to attack my personal life? The magazine on my desk today is the icing on the cake:

 **Billionaire Playboy Christian Grey….Can't keep a woman happy but can manage hundreds of employees? What is he hiding that prevents women from spending more than a night with him?**

The article shows several pictures of me attending various events over the last three months, each with a different woman on my arm. Typically I don't pay attention to this junk, but when Taylor, my head of security, brought it to me after finding it in our staff lounge earlier today I lost it. I can't have my employees questioning my ability to run GEH or the people I'm doing business with questioning their decision to sell me their companies or merge with GEH. Skimming the article in this magazine, the author states they are unable to speak with any of the women in the pictures which is a good thing since they would be in violation of the non-disclosure agreement they signed if they said a word about me to the press, but of course the author speculates that this is because I'm hiding something and am just paying them off to keep them quiet. In reality, these were all women who know I have a secret to keep….a secret that they also share and need to keep it out of the public eye just as much as I do. They don't come to more than one event with me because I don't want to give them mixed thoughts on what they are to me. However, my plan appears to be back firing because now they are questioning why I'm with different women at events. Apparently six different women over the course of three months is considered excessive as far as the paparazzi is concerned. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. When I don't go to events with women they question my sexuality….when I go to events with women I'm a playboy who can't manage his own company. Why the fuck they can't just focus on the financials of GEH and leave me hell alone is beyond me.

"Mr. Grey, everyone is in the conference room when you are ready," Andrea alerts me.

I take the magazine into the conference room next to my office, where my public relations department is waiting along with my COO Roz Bailey. Roz has been in the news as well, but no where near the amount or with the scrutiny that I have been. Roz is open about her sexuality and is in a committed relationship so when she is pictured it's typically always with her girlfriend. They never question Roz's ability to hold her position at GEH, but suddenly because I'm not in a "committed relationship" I can't operate a multibillion dollar company – a company which I started from the ground up with barely a penny to my name?

"We will not be leaving this room until we have a clear plan of action as to how we are going to address this!" I slam the magazine down on the table; the entire PR department jumps but of course Roz who is no doubt used to my outbursts by now doesn't even flinch. "I've spent the last hour coming through this magazine and ten others just like it online that are now all calling me a playboy and questioning my ability to run GEH. I followed your fucking advice and this is where it got me!"

"Mr. Grey….our advice-" Ms. Murphy begins.

"Did we not have a meeting less than three months ago when these trash magazines were ruining my reputation?" they all nod in response. "I can have Andrea pull the recordings from that meeting, but I guarantee they will show that you advised me to bring women to public events. Did you not?"

"Yes Mr. Grey," Ms. Murphy agrees.

"It was less than three fucking months ago that the paparazzi was publishing headlines that I was gay and afraid to come out of the closet because it was ruin my business or that I had some secret sexual fetish that would ruin me and that was the reason I was hiding my sexual preferences. Your advice was to be seen with women at public events which would eliminate the rumors that surrounding my sexual preference. I did that! Fucking three months later we are back here!"

"Mr. Grey, with all due respect we did not expect you would bring a different woman to every event-" Mr. Snyder says.

"What the fuck do you want me to do? I can't fucking sit here and let them question my ability to run my companies based upon whether or not I'm in a relationship with someone. Everyone around this table knows I am not in a committed relationship right now nor do I plan on being in one in anytime soon. I keep my private life private for a reason! I don't fucking date because I don't want the paparazzi to see me out with different women. This magazine right here is the exact reason I don't fucking date!"

I'm fed up and don't know what more to say as I sit in the chair at the head of the table and listen to my PR department scramble for how to fix this. That the women I brought to those events are women that I contract with to serve a certain purpose and have no emotional connection to me. That is a secret that can never get out; if the paparazzi thinks I can't run GEH because I date too many women how would they think my sexual activities influences my business decisions? Four years ago this wouldn't be an issue…two years ago I was pictured in magazines with the same woman at event after event. I was never called a playboy, my sexual preference was never debated and no one believed I had anything to hide. Just another fucking example of another thing she took from me…how the fuck I was blind for so long is still a mystery to me. I don't believe in making the same mistake twice; hell will freeze over before I ever consider trusting someone the way I trusted her.

I shake my head, ridding myself of the thoughts of her…I haven't let myself go back there in a long time and once again I question my own sanity during that time for being as blind as I was. I pull myself back to the meeting, needing to focus on the latest issue at hand and not at past mistakes that I have made. The past will never repeat itself; dwelling on it will not solve anything. The conversations around me are about how to fix the story that's already out there….the suggestions: demand they recant the story, release a statement clarifying the situation and ignore the story. None of these suggestions tell me how to prevent this exact story from occurring after the next event that requires my attendance. Unfortunately being such a big name in the business industry and wanting to keep contacts happy, I attend a lot of public events. Business is not always done in a board room…sometimes it's done at charity events, golf outings, boxing events….hell I even once closed a deal at the opera. I spend more time at public events than I ever wanted to but I realize public image is everything to some people which is why having my name dragged through the mud is unacceptable. The people I shake hands with on the golf course need to know that the decisions I make are the right ones and that they should have confidence in me. Articles like this blow my integrity with people and will make them second guess their decisions.

"Enough!" I interrupt the continued chaos. "Do whatever you need to do to make this article disappear but right now we need to focus on how I can prevent the next article from questioning my ability to manage GEH because I will have a different woman on my arm. If I show up without someone, they are back to assuming things about my sexual preferences which for some reason they believe has some fucking impact on my ability to manage GEH."

"Grey," Roz speaks up after being silent this entire meeting. "The solution is clear. Find a woman and bring her to all your public events."

"Fuck Roz! Did you not hear me when I said that I am NOT in a relationship right now nor do I plan to be in one? Where the fuck do you propose I find someone who wants to drop everything and go out to events at weekly if not more often? Fuck, in the next month I have at least seven or eight events that I need to be at…I don't even want to go to these things how the fuck can I find someone else to go?"

"Hire someone," she answers simply.

"Roz," I can't help but fucking laugh at her because I don't know what else to do. "Yes, that's the perfect solution. I'll drive around downtown and find a prostitute, offer her cash to accompany me for the night and then every night I have an event I'll pick her up at the same street corner."

"Well….it solves two issues as far as I can see," her face is red from laughing so hard with me. "The press will stop calling you a playboy because you'll only be seen with one woman. And, they will stop wondering what it is you do with all your billions."

"Right because then they will have pictures of me paying a prostitute for her services."

"Well you asked for ideas."

If anyone else at the table suggested I hire a hooker I would have fired their ass on the spot, but Roz is different…she has always been able to get away with things that I don't let anyone else get away with. Roz has been with me for years now, she was one of the very first employees I hired when GEH began expanding beyond what I could handle by myself. She quickly moved up the corporate ladder as I very early on recognized her expertise and ability. Roz works almost as many hours as I do and has put it many late nights working side by side with me. I spend more hours with her than I do anyone in my life….well maybe except Taylor since he is with me constantly and even has his own living quarters in my penthouse. She is also the longest standing employee I have at GEH; working for me is not easy which is something I easily admit to. I have very high expectations from my staff and believe that I compensate them accordingly. GEH offers above average salaries for all staff, excellent benefits and significant paid time off for all employees plus the management team receives annual bonuses based upon predetermined goals. Roz has earned a bonus every year that she has been with GEH because yeah she is that good. My management team is very strong now but this was not always the case; it took a long time to find the right group of people that worked well together and more importantly worked well with me. Andrea, my personal assistant, has been with GEH for four years now reporting directly to me for the last year. Prior to her I can't even remember the number of personal assistants I went through on a yearly and sometimes monthly basis. Roz still jokes with me how I scared away one assistant so quickly she left to get breakfast for a meeting only to drop the muffins off with Taylor before telling him that she quit effective immediately. Andrea coming on board has been a godsend, she doesn't take things personally when I am short with her and she knows exactly how I like things. Andrea has a way of making me more productive by having everything ready for me before I even know I need it. Welch, head of security and Barney, head of IT make up the remainder of what I consider the key members of my management team at GEH. Without Welch and Barney acquisitions could have gone differently and bad business decisions could have been made because they have ways of finding things out about people and companies that no one else can find out.

"Short of hiring a prostitute, what ideas do we have for moving forward?" I bring the discussion back to the topic at hand.

"Sir, we think it would be in your best interest to find a woman who can accompany you to the majority of these events and when she is not available to go alone or with a family member," Mr. Snyder recommends.

"So we're back where we started," I sigh. "I go with family members or alone to events and there are whispers, I go with women and there are whispers. You need to come up with a better solution because I refuse to have people questioning my management ability based upon who I do or don't bring to events. Fucking find me another solution!"

With that I storm out of the room and leave the PR team to discuss other options although I know the reality is there really aren't any other options. I wish there was a way to get the paparazzi to just leave me alone but short of buying out every media outlet in the country I don't see that option being realistic. At one point I did buy a media outlet who had attempted to destroy me in the press, I quickly broke it apart and sold it off to various companies. The day after the acquisition was finalized, another media outlet published a different story about me this time speculating on why I make charitable donations to certain organizations and not to others. In that moment I realized that buying out the media publications as they publish stories about me isn't going to work.

"Mr. Grey?" Andrea knocks on my door.

"Come in Andrea."

"I just wanted to remind you that I am off tomorrow-"

"Yes, it's on my calendar."

"You have an early morning meeting that you will need breakfast for; I have already placed an order with a local bakery however someone will need to pick the order up-"

"Can't they just deliver?"

"This bakery does not offer a delivery service Mr. Grey."

"Why the fuck do we do business with them if they don't deliver? Do you know how much time we could save if you didn't need to run out before meetings to pick up food? Surely there are other bakeries in this city that offer delivery?"

"Yes, there are numerous bakeries within a few blocks of the office. However you know those muffins that you love?" I nod. "They are from that bakery. And the freshly made donuts that are a hit at each of your meetings? Also from that bakery. Your meeting tomorrow morning is with Connors and Associates; according to Mr. Connor's PA, he has a soft spot for this bakery's banana nut muffins which of course I ordered for tomorrow morning. Now if you don't have anyone who can pick up the order, I can cancel it and find a bakery that will deliver-"

"That won't be necessary. I'll get Taylor to stop on our way in," I concede once again realizing why it is I value Andrea so much.

"Will you be needing anything else before I leave?"

"No, enjoy your day off Andrea."

After a couple more hours of work, I'm sitting in the back of the Audi SUV that Taylor is driving back to Escala. Without asking, Taylor again takes the long way back to Escala, slowing just past the little coffee shop where only a couple of weeks ago we ran into a beautiful young woman who has haunted my thoughts ever since. When Taylor swerved to avoid hitting a car he went through a large puddle which splashed and drenched the young woman who was standing too close to the curb to begin with. He immediately pulled over and jumped out of the car to apologize to her. I was checking my email when I suddenly looked up and saw the woman he was talking to. A split second later I was out of the car and standing next to Taylor in the rain, much to his surprise, also apologizing to the woman. I don't know what it was but there was something about her that captured my eye. Her long brown hair was pulled into a neat ponytail, her make up was very light and minimal allowing her natural beauty to show through. Her outfit was simple but dressy; a pair of tan dress pants that fit her perfectly was complimented by a form fitting black button up blouse.

Taylor and I both repeatedly apologized but she continued to say it wasn't a big deal and shrugged the entire situation off. Had that happened to me I guarantee I would have been cursing up a storm at everyone and anyone who would listen, demanding someone pay for the damage to my clothing. Knowing that we likely completely ruined her pants seeing that they were now covered in water and dirt, I offered to take her somewhere to buy her a new outfit. Much to my surprise, she refused my offer saying she was on her dinner break so she didn't have much time. What surprised me more though was when I gave her money to pay for the new outfit and she tried refusing it. I can't remember every having a woman try to refuse money that I gave them. Normally that's all they want me for; that's what they expect from me – they expect me to give them money and buy them things. This woman was completely different; she tried to give the money back to me! No matter what I said she insisted paying for new clothes wasn't necessary but Taylor and I both knew that it was our fault she would have to buy something new. Taylor has worked for me long enough that verbal communication is not always needed; a quick glance between us confirms that we are both thinking the same thing. As I push her hand with the money away, Taylor and I both turn around to head back to the car leaving her with the money in hand.

Ever since that evening, I have found that woman entering my thoughts at random times. I don't know what it is about her but something is making her stick in my head. A couple of days after we spoke to her, I asked Taylor to drive past the area on the way back to Escala. He was of course confused because this area was in the opposite direction of Escala but when I asked him to slow down as we approached the coffee shop I think he figured out why I asked him to go this way. Since then every night on our way home we goes past the coffee shop. Of course we haven't seen the woman from that night; I know the chances of seeing her again are slim but I still don't ask Taylor to stop driving past the coffee shop. I'm not sure what I would do if we saw her tonight or any other night for that matter. I have no desire of starting a relationship with someone and doubt that she would be interested in what I could offer her. If I could find a way to just fuck her it would probably get her out of my head but I certainly couldn't walk up to her on the street, introduce myself and then ask her to come back to Escala for a quick fuck could I? Something tells me that even if I thought I could get away with asking her that, she would never agree to it. One look at her and I could tell she isn't the type to have a one night stand with someone and I could almost guarantee she wouldn't be interested in my type of a one night stand.


	5. Chapter 4

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 4 APOV:**

 _Beep Beep Beep Beep_

I blindly slap my alarm clock groaning when I see that time says four am; I groan pushing myself into a sitting position. I worked more than twelve hours yesterday and couldn't fall asleep until close to midnight thanks to my incredibly loud neighbors who thought it would be a good night to have a party. I think the only reason I finally fell asleep was out of pure exhaustion because the noise level certainly didn't decrease. Thankfully today I am only working at the bakery so by early afternoon I should be back at home where I can hopefully take a nap. I swear if the department store calls me this afternoon I may be tempted to ignore the call because I don't think I could make it through another twelve hour day even if I wanted to. Although the tip Elena left me after calling me in early the last time she needed something made the long day very worth it. Perhaps if she calls I will go in after all, well maybe if I can at least get a small nap in.

I take a fast shower even though my body begs me to stay in longer and let the hot water ease some of my sore muscles. As much as I would love to stay in here, the building has a very limited supply of hot water and I know from experience if I spend more than eight minutes in here the water will turn ice cold without warning. After learning that the hard way I now set a timer when I get in the shower for seven minutes so there's no chance of ice water coming out of the shower head while I'm still in here. Quickly dressing in a pair of jeans and my bakery shirt, I quickly make myself a bowl of hot oatmeal for breakfast. I'm not a big breakfast person, but I know I need to put something in my stomach before I start my shift because there are days when it can be so busy that I don't get a break until my shift is over and by then I would be starving if I didn't eat before I started working. By the time I finish eating, my coffee is done; it's nearly four thirty in the morning and I'm locking up my apartment and rushing to the bus stop.

Two buses and thirty minutes later I'm walking the last couple of blocks to the bakery and arrive a minute before my shift is due to start. I work the same shift each day so my schedule works out perfectly….even if I despise having to wake up at four in the morning.

"Good Morning Ginny," I great the owner as I walk in.

"Morning Ana…how are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. What can I get started on?"

"Actually I need to talk to you if you have a moment?" I nod. "Please come to my office."

I follow Ginny back to her office nervously…in the eighteen months I've been working here I haven't been in Ginny's office except for the day she interviewed me. I have butterflies in my stomach; I know the outcome of this meeting is not going to be a good one…I just know it. I fear what Ginny is going to talk to me about but there is no avoiding it.

"Ana….there's no easy way for me to say this," Ginny takes a deep breath and briefly pauses. My heart is beating so loudly I'm almost certain she can here. "I've decided I'm going to retire; my daughter has invited me to come live with her in Texas."

"I'm happy for you Ginny, I know how much you've missed your daughter since she moved."

"I have and she called me last night to let me know she is expecting so by moving in with her I will be able to see my grandbaby whenever I want. I can't imagine living in Seattle and having her and the baby so far away."

"Congratulations Ginny!"

"I'm going to sell this place and while I'm going to tell the new owners how wonderful each of my staff members are I can't guarantee they are going to keep you on once the ink dries."

"I appreciate you putting in a good word for me."

"Ana, I wish I could do more to protect your job-"

"Ginny, I understand. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"Ana I can't help but worry about you; you know that. If the people who end up buying this place are morons and end up letting you go I will give you a glowing recommendation to wherever you want to go next. I'll do anything I can to help you…you've come so far-"

"Ginny, thank you but I promise I will be okay."

She squeezes my hand across the desk and I can see the concern in her eyes. My interview with Ginny was set up by my case worker on my second day in Seattle along with a few other entry level, minimum wage paying jobs. Ginny and I clicked almost instantly; she never asked me any questions about my past or why I had come to Seattle. She knew where I was living at the time of my interview and knew who scheduled me for the interview but she never brought it up. Ginny instantly became like a mother figure to me; she was the type of mother I always wish I had. She makes sure I have enough hours scheduled each week and always offers any extra shifts to me instead of one of the girls who work the register. She's the type of person who cares about everyone and doesn't ask for anything in return.

"I'll keep you updated on the sale of this place, right now my attorney is reviewing offers so we are probably still a couple of months away from an offer being accepted and the paperwork being completed."

"Thank you, I appreciate you telling me about this."

"Please don't tell the other girls, I'm not ready for everyone to know just yet. I worry some of the others might jump ship and leave just you and me working all these hours."

"I won't say anything Ginny."

"We have a catering order I need you to work on this morning; here's the order information. Someone will be by around 7:30 to pick it up."

"No problem, I'll make sure it's ready."

I try not to focus on what Ginny told me; there's not much I can but wait and see where things fall when the bakery eventually sells. I'm not going to start looking for another job because I would much rather stay here. Even though Ginny wouldn't running this place, it's familiar to me. I know all the recipes by memory, the register is easy to use and I really like the area. We are surrounded by large office buildings in a very busy section of Seattle which means everyone is always on the go. There's several stores within walking distance that I can hit if I need something before catching my bus. Even though it wasn't a tough decision, I very quickly decide to stay on with Ginny and see what happens. If the new owners decide to replace all the staff, then I will find another job. I'm pretty certain that the experience I have gained here will help me get a job at another bakery. There are several chain ones in the area and although I love the individual ownership of this place, if I have no choice I will move onto one of those places.

"Ana!" Ginny comes around the counter a couple of hours later.

"Someone is here to pick up the GEH catering order-"

"UGH they're early," I sigh glancing at my watch. "Give me a few minutes, the banana nut muffins are just about ready to come out of the oven."

"No problem, just bring it up when you're done."

At least half of Ginny's business is probably in catering for the local businesses in the area. Although the chain places offer delivery to the offices, most of the customers are loyal to Ginny because they love certain items we make. Whether it's the handmade donuts, the warm croissants, the personalized breads or the flavorful muffins it seems everyone has their favorite that keeps them coming back. GEH, for example, probably places an order with us at least two to three times a week. I can put money on it that while certain parts of the order will change, there will always be a an apple cinnamon muffin on the order. Clearly whoever does the ordering for them loves that type of muffin; I assume the order changes either based on meetings they are having or who in the office wants to order from us.

"Order for GEH?" I call as I walk into the front of the store.

"Over here," a deep voice calls me.

I stop in my tracks when I turn around and recognize the man who answered me; it is no other than the man who drove into the puddle that drenched me a few weeks ago when I was on my dinner break from the department store.

"Ms….it's nice to see you again," he greets me.

"And you," I place the box down on the counter in front of him. "I wanted to thank you and the man you were again for replacing my clothes that day. It was too much-"

"I'm sure whatever you were given was not just meant to replace your clothes but also for the inconvenience of having to spend the remainder of your break shopping instead of taking time for yourself."

"Had I known how much was there I never would have accepted it! It was far too much money-"

"As I recall, you didn't accept the money. I believe my boss gave it to you and had to walk away when you tried to give it back repeatedly," he smirks.

"Well….yeah I guess I did," I giggle.

"What were you doing on break so far from this place anyway?"

"Oh, I wasn't on break from here. I work another job, I was only a block or so away from there when you…."

"Ruined your outfit?"

"It wasn't ruined, just wet and dirty," I giggle. "Really it's fine. It all came out in the wash so it wasn't a big deal at all. Please thank your boss again for me, I appreciate that you both stopped and didn't keep driving like most people would have."

"Speaking of, I should get going. He has a big meeting this morning which these are needed for. It was nice seeing you again Ms….?"

"Ana….Anastasia Steele."

"Take care Ms. Steele-"

"Wait….do I get to know your name?"

"Taylor," he replies over his shoulder while walking away.

It was very unexpected to see Taylor here today, but I can't help but wishing it was his boss who came in for the catering order. I don't know what it is but ever since that day I haven't been able to get the other man who was with Taylor off of my mind. Of course he was absolutely gorgeous, but there was something else about him that has kept me from forgetting about him. I have no idea who he is but even if I did, I know I would be way out of his league. The car he rode it easily cost more than I pay in rent in the course of a year. Plus he had a driver….only people with incredible amounts of money pay for someone to drive them around in their personal car. People like that never give someone like me a second glance; the only time I talk to people with that kind of money is when I'm dressing them at the department store. It wasn't that long ago when I shared drinks and meals with those types of people….I cringe at the memory that I allowed to slip into my mind; memories that I've tried so hard to keep buried. Besides even if by some miracle he decided to even give me the time of day, I don't think I could ever trust someone so completely again. If you can't trust someone completely what type of relationship can you ever hope to have? I've learned what relationships are like without trust and I'd rather spend my life alone then to experience that again.

"Ana, we need more glazed donuts," Ginny thankfully pulls me from my pity party and reminds me that I'm here to work.

"Coming right up!"

The rest of the morning is thankfully very busy which doesn't give me any time to take another unwanted trip down memory lane. Once everything is prepared for the lunch rush, I grab a cup of coffee to go and clock out. Surprisingly I'm not as exhausted as I expected to be by now, so I decide to do a little window shopping before I catch my bus home. I can't afford very much in this area, but I still enjoy window shopping…

 _Ring Ring_

"Hello?" I answer my phone nervously as the number on the screen is not one that I recognize. There's only a few people who know my phone number; since it's a prepaid cell phone my name isn't tied to this phone number anywhere that someone can find it. While that should reassure me, I still get very nervous when a number calls that I don't recognize.

"Ana? This is Elena," the voice on the other end says.

"Elena? Oh….Hi."

"Look, I'm sorry to call you but I need to speak with you and was hoping you could meet me later today?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Elena but I'm not scheduled to work. I'm sure if you call the store-"

"I need to speak with you outside the store actually."

"I'm sorry?"

"Can you meet me around four today?"

"Ummm….I don't know."

"Ana, I have a business proposition I want to discuss with you. Meet me for dinner, listen to my offer and if you're not interested than no harm done. I promise you that whether or not you accept my offer will have no impact on my account at your store. If you don't accept my offer, I won't' pull my account from the store or ask for someone else to be assigned to my account if that's what you're worried about. You have my word Ana."

"Okay….thank you. I suppose I can meet you today, I'm not working this evening."

"There's a Brazilian steakhouse on 7th and Main, do you know it?"

"I'm familiar with the area, so I'm sure I can find it."

"Great, I'll meet you there at four today. The reservation is in my name."

"I'll see you then."

 **CPOV:**

"Mr. Grey?"

"What?" I snap; I'm desperately trying to focus on responding to this arrogant ass who has been dicking me around on a deal for the last month and if I don't concentrate on my response I'm likely to tell him that he has his head up his ass if he thinks his company has any chance of surviving the new shipping regulations that go into effect next month.

"She works here."

"Who? Who works here? What are you talking about Taylor?" Now he's just pissing me off too. If you're going to interrupt me at least make it something worth my while; otherwise wait until I'm not fucking busy.

"Ms. Anastasia Steele."

"Taylor…seriously what the fuck? What are you fucking talking about? Who the fuck is Anastasia Steele?"

"The woman from outside the coffee shop; the one we inadvertently drenched during the rain storm."

"She….she works here?" I'm shocked, I never thought we would find her again. I even had Taylor and Barney check security cameras in the area but none were able to give us a clear picture of the mystery woman who has haunted my thoughts ever since.

"Yes, she had prepared the order for today's meeting. We're running early if you want to go in-"

"No, just drive to the office."

"Sir?

"GEH Taylor."

I can't help but glance out the window at the bakery as Taylor pulls away. Part of me wants tell Taylor to stop the car so I can go in and meet this Ms. Steele properly. But then her image is in the front of my mind once again and I'm reminded that there's no way that I could ever be what she wants or needs. I'm reminded that she isn't the type of woman who is just going to want to fuck me; she isn't the type of a woman for a one night stand. And I'm not the type of guy who can do anything more than a one night stand or a quick fuck…not again.


	6. Chapter 5

All characters belong to E.L. James.

Author's Note: Wow! I am speechless! 214 reviews for 5 chapters! Never did I expect this story to be such a hit! I love the theories about how Ana and Christian will meet and how the title of the story comes into play. I will say several readers have some close theories about where the story is headed but no one has fully nailed it yet. Thank you again for your continued support and reviews; although I don't respond to every review please know that I read every single review.

Chpt. 5APOV

I have no idea what to wear tonight to meet Elena or even what she wants to meet with me about. I've racked my brain over and over again trying to figure out what she could possibly want to discuss with me outside the store and still can't seem to find anything that makes sense. Initially I assumed it must have something to do with shopping for her at other locations besides just the department store but then I realized that everything she has pretty much comes from our store. I suppose it's still possible that she wants me to be her personal shopper at other stores but something tells me that's not the reason she wants to meet with me tonight. I don't know much about Elena's business other than she runs a consultation firm in Seattle. I know a little more about her personally: she is married and has no children, she is involved in several different charities and attends a ridiculous amount of dinners or events regularly. Yet somehow all of that still tells me nothing about a possible reason for her meeting with me tonight.

I checked the website for the place we are going to meet and it seems like a pretty dressy place which is exactly what I expected of Elena. I pick out a dress that I've worn to work a few times; I doubt that anything else I own would be appropriate for this type of place. The restaurant is located pretty much where I thought it would be which is about a four block walk from the nearest bus stop but the area it is in is pretty safe so I'm not worried about walking back to the bus stop after our meeting. The menu was posted online as well but no prices were listed, leaving me only to assume that dinner would likely cost half of my paycheck if I were to go there on my own. I take some of the cash I keep hidden in case of emergencies and toss it into my purse in the event that I need to crab a cab or pay for something.

Before I realize it the afternoon has flown by and I'm on the bus on my way to meet Elena. My stomach feels like there is a knot in it, whether it's from nervousness or anxiety I don't know. I hope that I know Elena well enough by now that she will keep her word and that no matter what happens tonight that I won't lose her as a client. She had said this wouldn't be an option but I can't help but worry that it could happen if she doesn't like my response tonight. It may not be the best job in the world but without it I wouldn't be able to pay all my bills so I value it for that reason if nothing else. Yes I'm sure I could get another job with the experience on my resume should I lose Elena as a client but I don't have enough money saved up to go very long without working a second job. If I lost the job, I would probably be at risk of losing my apartment within 30 days. It took me forever to save up enough that I could afford one month's rent if I lost a job. Ideally I would like to have at least two month's expenses saved up but I haven't been able to get to that point yet.

When the bus stops, I slowly get off and make my way through the busy sidewalk. My stomach feels like a brick is sitting in it and I'm practically shaking with nervousness. I try to calm myself down but I can't seem to stop my body's natural reaction. I'm not so much nervous about the actual proposition she has in mind but more so about the consequences if I decline the offer. I try to push those thoughts out of my head and desperately try to find something else to focus on during the short walk to the restaurant.

"Good evening miss….can I help you?" I'm greeted by an older gentlemen in a suit as soon as I walk into the restaurant.

"Yes, I'm here to meet with Ms. Lincoln, I believe she has-"

"Ms. Lincoln has our private room reserved. Please follow me," he cuts me off and quickly leads me through the busy restaurant. Despite it being fairly early, I'm surprised at how busy this place is. It seems most people here are having business meetings as there are folders, notepads and laptops at almost every table. I suppose this place was a good an option for conducting business dinners….the tables are far enough apart that you wouldn't feel like someone could eavesdrop into your conversation and the food would surely impress any guest based upon the reviews written online.

"Ms. Lincoln, your guest has arrived," I am led into a small dining room where Elena is seated at a table that looks rather large just for the two of us.

"Ana, it's so nice to see you again," Elena stands to greet me as soon as I walk in.

"Thank you Elena, it's nice to see you too."

"The waiter will be in shortly with your meals."

"I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of ordering for both of us so we can focus on our time on discussing business. The food here is delicious but if you don't like what I ordered please let me know. The chef will make anything you want even if it's not on the menu."

"I'm sure whatever you ordered will be fine Elena; I'm not a very picky eater," I assure her.

"While we wait for our food, I need to ask you to sign this," she hands me a folder with what appears to be a legal document in it.

"What is this?" I ask.

"It's called a non disclosure agreement, also known as an NDA. Please read through it carefully, I want you to understand what you are signing. Essentially by signing this document you agree to keep anything we discuss here between the two of us. You cannot go home and tell your roommate about this discussion-"

"I live alone so you don't have to worry about that."

"It also means you can't talk to anyone about this at the store what we discuss tonight."

"I understand."

I spend the next few minutes reviewing the NDA which seems pretty straight forward. It basically outlines what Elena has already mentioned; essentially I can't discuss anything we talk about with anyone. The NDA also warns that I can be sued if I discuss the contents of this meeting with someone especially if the information is then leaked to the media. My curiosity is peaked even more as I wonder what Elena could want to discuss that would require such a high level of confidentiality. Immediately I toss out the idea that Elena wants me to be a personal shopper for her at other stores, not that it was a very good idea to begin with.

A waiter quietly brings in our salads and entrees, setting them in front of us before Elena nods dismissing him. Elena pours us each a glass of wine from the bottle that has opened and is on the table with us. I take a deep breath and sign the NDA, closing the folder before taking a sip of the wine she just poured. I haven't had a glass of wine or really anything containing alcohol in the last year and a half; not that I haven't often wanted something but more because I was focused so much on saving money and just surviving.

"Do you mind if we discuss things while we eat? I've had a busy day and ended up missing lunch today so I'm famished," Elena asks.

"I don't mind at all," secretly relieved because I'd rather get the reason for this meeting out in the open rather than dragging it on much longer.

"Ana, I want you to keep an open mind with what I'm about to offer you," she warns and I can't help but nod in agreement as the anxiety in me rises even higher. "As you know, I run a very successful consulting firm here in Seattle. What you don't know is what my services entail. I work with very successful business men and women across the state who because of their busy lives find dating to be either undesirable and something they don't have time for. This is where I come in; I set them up with men and women who match the qualities they are looking for."

"Like a match maker?" I asked completely surprised.

"Sort of…I suppose you could call me a match maker of sorts. However, unlike some common match making services out there, my ultimate goal is often not wedding bells and happily ever after. That doesn't mean that some of my clients haven't ended up married of course, but the primary objective of the match is not compatibility for life."

"I'm sorry. I'm a little confused. If you're not looking for a husband or wife for someone, what's the point in the match?"

"Company, companionship and sometimes even friendship. The people I work with are very successful individuals in their respective industries. Often times they work 60, 70 even 90 hours per week with little to no time for their personal lives. They have sacrificed their personal lives for their success and this is something they accept. However, sometimes they just want to go to dinner with a lovely woman and have a conversation that doesn't revolve around the stock market. They don't want any type of commitment and because of their success they always worry that someone is only with them for money so they never trust anyone completely. I pair them with someone that I think they have something in common with or that I think would be a good match for them. The two have dinner, go to a play, see a movie or more often than not go to social events together. You would be surprised how many business deals are ironed out over social events with husbands and wives present."

"I'm actually not as surprised as you would think," I mumble aloud.

"Oh?" she asks but when I don't comment she continues. "Ana, I've known you for more than a year now so I'd like to think I know the qualities you possess. I am confident that you would be a good match with several of the men, or women if you prefer, that I work with. I would like to offer you the opportunity to join my consulting firm."

"Ummmm…this is a lot to take in. Can I ask you a few questions?"

"Of course, ask anything you want Ana. You've signed the NDA so I feel comfortable speaking freely with you about this."

"What exactly is expected on a date?" I ask cringing at the word date; Can you even call it a date if you are being paid to be there and the person is paying you?

"It depends on the context. Assuming it's not a business social event, think of it like two friends going out together. You eat, chat about whatever you want: sports, the weather, aspirations in life….really anything you want. If you are accompanying someone on a business social event, you would likely have met the person ahead of time and he would have outlined what he was looking for at that event. Usually they need you to play the doting girlfriend role: hold hands, maybe dance if the event calls for it, and just make small talk with the other guests. They will have briefed you ahead of time on the key players and given you their opinions on business or political topics."

"How long do these….arrangements typically last?"

"I have some staff who have been meeting with the same client for years now. The press without a doubt assumes they are a couple but in reality they only see each other for business events and the occasional dinner before an event. I have other clients who will ask for someone to go to dinner with once every few months when they are in town traveling for business. It really depends on the client and how well they click with my staff."

"What about….physical contact? Is that an expectation-"

"Absolutely not!" Elena slams her hand down on the table between us. "I do not run a prostitution ring Ana! Beyond holding hands, any physical contact is limited: a hand on the small of your back when you walk into the room, an arm around your waist when discussing something with another couple, etc… At most, a kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening. There is nothing beyond that, it is spelled out in the contract all clients and employees sign stating their will be no intimate contact between the two parties unless they both terminate their contract with my firm."

"I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect. I just had to know…I could never-that's just something I couldn't do."

"It's a common misconception; escort businesses have been given a bad name by companies who disguise themselves as providing escorts when they really provide prostitutes. My clients have no problems finding a woman to be intimate with them, what they come to me for is something more than sex. They want someone who they can spend a few hours with who won't expect a flowers the next day or a diamond ring on their finger in a week. Sometimes all they want is to conduct business but the people who they are conducting business with assume there is something wrong with them because they don't have a wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend to bring to dinners."

"Why me?" I blush when I realize I asked the question aloud.

"Ana….whether or not you know it, you're beautiful. You have this innocence about you that I know many of my clients will find endearing. You're not the type of woman who dresses incredibly sexy or tries to get into a man's pants to get to his wallet. From what I can tell, you haven't had any plastic surgery; the natural look is very appealing to most of my clients. You're polite but can handle yourself when necessary as well; these qualities highly sought after for business events. My clients want someone who can hold polite conversations with their business associates but can also hold their own if they need to leave their side for a few minutes."

"I…."

"I'm sure these are qualities you don't even see in yourself, but I've made it my business to get to know everyone I come in contact with. I think this could be a good opportunity for you Ana…you wouldn't have to work two jobs any longer and could afford to move out of that neighborhood you live in-"

"Wait…how do you know where I live?"

"I ran a background check on you of course dear," she answers as if it's nothing. "Before I approached you about this opportunity, I needed to know if you would hold up to public scrutiny. It's possible you would be photographed at events with clients and I needed to know what the press could dig up on you."

"There shouldn't be anything…."I try to figure out what could be on a background check about me. I've never been arrested or in trouble of any kind.

"There wasn't anything to worry about. Looks like you had bad luck a few years ago, a tumble down the stairs landed you in the emergency room with several broken ribs and a gash on your arm requiring stitches-"

"You could access my medical records? That's confidential!"

"For the right price anyone can access anything Ana," she sighs. "I needed to make sure that I knew everything that the press could find out about you."

"Shouldn't that be my choice? I haven't accepted your offer!"

"Yet," she corrects. "You haven't accepted my offer yet. Ana, I know this feels like I invaded your privacy but I didn't know much about you before I ran these background checks. I doubt the store ran detailed background checks but even if they did it wouldn't be as in depth as mine in. I needed to know you were trustworthy before I even could approach you about this."

"I….I don't know what to say Elena," I sigh heavily. What she says makes sense but I'm still angry that she could access my medical records. However I'm relieved that even if she accesses all of my medical records, she won't find anything else. There is nothing in my records to raise suspicion, nothing to make someone take a second look…

"Will you consider my offer? Ana, I have men and women who work for me don't have to work other jobs to pay bills. This could get you out of your apartment and into a place where you wouldn't have to worry about walking out your front door at night or that the police might barge through your door at any moment because your neighbor is dealing drugs. You wouldn't have to scrimp and save every penny. You wouldn't have to work ten, twelve or fifteen hour long days."

"I don't know Elena, this is a lot to take in."

"Take some time, think about my offer Ana. If you agree, a simple date could pay your rent for a month."

"Seriously?" I ask dumbfounded that she could be offering me this much money.

"Yes," she says straight faced. "Depending on the length of dinner, assuming it's just the two people, you could earn a minimum of $500 per hour. Most dinner dates will last at least two hours, sometimes longer. Then you figure in a movie, play or opera afterwards and your dinner now lasts four to five hours which means you will earn a minimum of $2000. After the first date, your rate is increased by $100 per hour. After the first month, the rate is increased further. Social or business events have different rate ranges based upon the number of people in attendance, the expectations the client has and if publicity is required-"

"Publicity?"

"Sometimes, clients want to publically be seen with a date at an event. If this is required, the price is higher because it puts you in newspapers and magazines."

"I see."

"All of your expenses are covered, any clothing that is required for dates or events is charged to my account. As you know I have many accounts at different stores throughout the city; you simply pick out an outfit and charge it to my account. The outfit is yours at the end of the night."

"So the clients at the store….?"

"Clients and employees, all of them," she confirms.

"Wow..." I don't know what else to say.

"Ana, take a few days and think about my offer. Think about the doors it could open for you. Think about what you could do with extra money in your pocket every month. My staff are going back to school, raising children on their own, helping to pay for medical bills for sick family members or even just paying off debts. Think about what you really want to do with your life Ana. Do you want to work two and three jobs forever?"

"No," I whisper.

"Here is a contract, take it home and read through it. Call me in two days with a decision. If I don't hear from you in 48 hours, I will have your answer."


	7. Chapter 6

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 6 APOV:**

Holy Shit….holy shit….holy shit.

That's all I can think about on the cab ride home; Elena insisted on paying for a cab when she learned I arrived by bus. I don't mind taking a bus but I guess to someone like her it's a foreign concept. I can't imagine what this cab ride must be costing her since I don't live remotely close to this area but when I tried to object she wouldn't hear it. So now I'm sitting in the back of a cab that is weaving in and out of traffic repeating holy shit to myself hundreds of times. I'm holding the folder in my hands tightly, almost afraid to open it to look at the contract that she says is in here. I can't possibly read a contract when I haven't even digested what she just told me. As I think about the people on her account that I have shopped for in the last year I suppose it makes sense. There are girls I dress for formal and business casual events, men who are dressed in suits and fitted tuxes and of course the gentleman that was shopping for a business trip the other day and needed clothes for his "girlfriend."

"Ma'am, is this the correct address?" The cab drivers pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yes," I confirm after glancing out the window at the graffiti covered building in front of me.

I thank the cab driver and head up the steps to the entrance of my building just as the cab pulls away. There is a guy drunk or high leaning against the door, he's passed out and doesn't even move as I approach him. I cringe at the thought of stepping near him but as I clear my throat to get his attention he doesn't even flinch. My hand grips the knife in my purse fiercely as I take a step forward, prepared to defend myself if this low life suddenly moves. I quickly rush through the door, closing and locking it behind me the moment I enter the stairwell. The door is supposed to be locked at all times, residents are the only ones who should have a key but of course the door is never locked and I've seen people who don't live here entering the building without bothering to ring a bell. Other than a few derogatory comments thrown at me when I first moved into the building almost a year ago for the most part whoever is outside leaves me alone. I still carry the knife in my purse at all times though because I can never be too careful.

I quickly enter my apartment, shutting and locking the deadbolt behind me as I turn on the lights. It's nearly ten o'clock, I'm not sure where the night went but I guess I was at the restaurant a lot longer than I thought I was there. I'm too tired right now to think about what Elena said and to even consider reading the contract. I have a full day tomorrow, working both jobs so I need to get to bed soon. I quickly change into a pair of pajamas and toss my dress into the ever growing pile of laundry that sits in my corner. At some point in the next few days I need to find the time to do laundry or I won't have clean clothes to wear to either of my jobs. The problem of course is that today was really my only free evening, as I'm scheduled to work both jobs for the next three straight days. While the paycheck will be nice, working a minimum of 36 hours in 3 days is not something I enjoy doing. I'd prefer to have at least half a day off in between double shifts but the two companies don't exactly coordinate my schedule with each other so sometimes it ends up like this.

I know I need to find a couple of hours tomorrow to review the information that Elena sent me and to really process what she told me. My initial thought during dinner was that she was crazy; that there was no way in hell I would consider her offer; that I have too much pride to do what she is suggesting. But as I sit in my crappy apartment in this shitty neighborhood with no real future ahead of me I have to admit that I would be crazy to not at least consider her offer.

I force myself to stop thinking about Elena and her offer tonight because I know if I don't stop I will be up all night which will just make for an even more exhausting few days. Despite the neighbors loud arguing next door, I quickly manage to fall asleep vowing to focus on Elena and her offer tomorrow in whatever spare time I might have. I sleep soundly until the alarm buzzing wakes me up several hours later. I'm thankful whenever I sleep through the night…my nightmares have become fewer but when they hit they usually prevent me from going back to sleep that night. On days like today where I have to work both jobs I'm thankful when I do sleep through the night without a nightmare.

"Good Morning Ana," Ginny greets me as soon as I walk through the back door of the bakery.

"Morning Ginny."

The morning passes by slowly, unlike most mornings in the bakery. I can't seem to focus; my mind constantly wanders back to the conversation with Elena last night. The one thing that continues to stick out in my head is the amount of money she was offering to pay me for a couple of hours' worth of work. Today I will bust my ass, work 12 plus hours and by the time the day is done I will have earned around $150 before taxes. $150 for 12 hours of work….whereas Elena is offering me almost 5 times that amount per hour. Am I stupid for not agreeing to it right away? The thought of being able to live in a nicer neighborhood, one where I don't have to walk past people who are drunk or high just to get into the building sounds attractive as well. I could work only a few nights a month and have all my current bills covered. Add in a few more days and I would be able to afford a small apartment in a decent area of Seattle. But what type of job security is there in this type of…business? Would there be enough work to cover my rent every month? What happens if business slows down? Does this type of business slow down?

As the morning wears on I realize I have far more questions than I thought possible. The more questions I find the more I realize that I'm actually at least half way considering this offer. I have to admit the thought of not struggling as much financially is what is driving me to at least consider this and not just say hell no to Elena. I've always wanted to go back to college; I started taking online classes years ago before I was _forbidden_ from doing so. I really enjoyed the classes I took. What if this job could pay enough to allow me to begin taking classes again? Elena said some of her staff were paying their way through college by working for her. Could I do something like that?

"I'll see you tomorrow Ana," Ginny calls as I punch out for the day.

"Have a good day Ginny."

Two bus rides later, I'm back in my crappy apartment eating a bowl of instant noodles cooked on a hot plate for lunch. Not the most healthiest option, but when you only have a few extra bucks to spare crappy food always wins over healthy food. As I wait for my food to cool, I decide to make a list of questions for Elena.

1) Safety:

a. How will my safety be ensured?

b. What kind of background checks are performed on the clients?

c. Will _dates_ always occur in public places?

d. What options do I have if something happens on a date?

2) Communication:

a. I don't want clients knowing where I live….how is that handled?

b. How are the dates set up? Does the client call me directly?

3) Pay:

a. How many hours per week is typical?

b. Are there times during the year when business slows down?

c. Can most girls maintain an average number of hours?

4) Publicity:

a. How will reporters/press not tie me back to your company?

b. How do I respond if I'm approached outside of a date and asked how I met someone I was seen with?

5) Clothing:

a. I don't believe I can shop at the store I work in. Are there other options

6) Control:

a. Will I be able to refuse a date?

As I look over my list of questions I seem satisfied that I have covered most of the key areas. Question one is a big one for me, I need to ensure that no matter what happens I will be safe at all times. I can't see myself going to some stranger's house to meet him for dinner no matter how clean his background check is. I know all too well, things can get left off of background checks and sometimes not everything is reported to authorities even when it should be. I could never trust someone so completely that I would take them at their word that the person I'm meeting with wouldn't hurt me. Could I ever go to someone's house alone even if we went out several times? I don't know….I need Elena to realize that I have more trust issues than most people do and therefore that's not something I'm willing to compromise on. Dates in public places I can deal with; if I felt threated I would have no problem making a scene to ensure my safety. Given what Elena has told me about her clients they would probably be on their best behavior in public because they wouldn't want to make a scene. Unfortunately people can put on a great front in public and become the devil in the privacy of their own home.

I still have a couple of hours before I need to report to the store so I spend some time reviewing the contract which I realize I probably should have done before making my list of questions but I figure I can always edit the list if need be. I don't know much about contracts but it seems pretty straight forward to me. The contract addresses my communication question: it specifically states all requests for dates must go through Elena and prohibits staff and clients from setting up their own dates. I like this idea actually, it gives me the opportunity to say no without worrying about doing it face to face. I like that I can't be pressured into agreeing to a date by the guy. The contract confirms what Elena told me earlier; it actually states there is to be no sexual contact between the client and the staff at any time while one or both of us is under contract. Again, this is something I like. I don't want to be treated like a prostitute; I don't want the man to be expecting sex or something from me at the end of the night.

The contract further states that an addendum will be signed for every day. A sample addendum is attached to the contract which again seems pretty straight forward. The addendum lists the rate per hour for the date, the expected length of the date with a note that this may vary but if it is going to exceed on additional hour the client is obligated to inform the agency of the change and then it requires me to list what physical contact I am agreeable to. The physical contact options are pretty neutral which is what I would expect since the contract prohibits any sexual contact. Physical contact options include: hand holding, kiss on the cheek, kiss on the lips, hand wrapped around waist, hand on hip and dancing. I prefer not kissing on the lips however I could see if a client is trying to show that we are romantically linked they may feel this is necessary. I decide to discuss that with Elena and determine if it's something that can be changed after meeting with a client.

While working at the store, I can't help but look at the clients on Elena's contract differently. I worked with two individuals directly tonight and then put aside items for others; the entire time I'm wondering are they clients or staff that work with Elena? Are they getting ready for a date tonight? I wish I had the nerve to ask them about how they know Elena but of course the NDA I signed last night prohibits me from asking plus I would be too embarrassed I think to know the answer. With my mind somewhat more focused on work than it was this morning, the night goes by faster than I expected. When I'm on break I decide to call Elena and see if she is willing to meet again to discuss her proposition.

Elena: Good Evening Ana

Ana: Hi Elena…I hope I have caught you a good time?

Elena: Of course, I'm just in between meetings so I have a few minutes.

Ana: I was wondering if you would be available to meet to discuss….things further?

Elena: Let's see, I'm free around eight tonight?

Ana: Oh, I'm working right now so tonight won't work.

Elena: Ten tomorrow morning?

Ana: Sorry…working at the bakery tomorrow morning and the store in the evening.

Elena: (sigh) okay, how about we meet for lunch at one? I'll text you the address of a place as soon as I get a reservation scheduled.

Ana: Thank you, I appreciate your flexibility with my schedule.

Elena: I look forward to our meeting. Have a good night Ana.

I feel relieved when I leave work at the end of my shift; I am confident that if Elena can answer my questions to my satisfaction and guarantee my safety that I will try this whole earn money for pretending to be someone's date thing. I admit initially the thought kind of freaked me out, the more I thought about the customers that Elena works with the more it made sense. There are weeks when I work more than 60 hours like some of her customers do; during those weeks there is way I could find the time to date even if I wanted to. Thankfully, I have no desire to date or haven't even thought about going out on a date that is until the meeting with Elena last night. At least with this offer, everything is spelled out and the expectations of both parties are clear from the start. I don't have to trust anyone which works very well for me.

The next morning I wake up to my phone ringing which is odd because my alarm is set for four in the morning so the idea that someone is calling before that awful hour is concerning.

"Hello?"

"Ana? Dear, it's Ginny. Is everything okay?"

"Hmmm….what time is it?"

"Almost six dear…you're always here-"

"SHIT! Ginny, I'm so sorry, I overslept I'll be there as soon as possible."

I glance at my alarm clock and immediately realize why it didn't go off…apparently I have no power. I quickly wash up in the bathroom sink as quickly as possible before throwing on a pair of clothes and heading to the bakery. As I'm walking down the block, it appears everyone has power except for our building. Our rent includes our electricity since the landlord is too cheap to have the building individually metered. Since our building is the only one on the block without electricity I assume that once again the landlord didn't pay the electric bill. He does this a few times a year, leaving us without electric for a few days before paying the bill again. It makes for a difficult few days since there is no hot water to shower with and no way to cook a hot meal but considering he doesn't live in the building I don't think he cares very much.


	8. Chapter 7

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 7 APOV:**

"I have a reservation with Ms. Lincoln," I inform the server when I enter the Italian restaurant that Elena texted me the details for earlier this morning. Thankfully I had enough time to run back to my apartment and change into something more suitable for a place like this after my shift ended at the bakery this morning. Of course the electricity was still turned off at the apartment, not that I expected anything different. I had already left a voice mail for the landlord about the electricity but I don't expect to hear back from him anytime soon. Luckily I'm more prepared than I was the first time the building lost electricity for three straight days when the landlord chose not to pay his bill once before. Now I have several candles, a flashlight with extra batteries, instant coffee (which tastes gross but at least will give me my caffeine fix until I can get to a store), canned tuna fish and frozen bread. It doesn't make for the most appetizing meals, but there's only so much you can prepare without electricity.

"Yes, she is in our private dining room already," he leads towards the back of the main area to a much smaller room than the one we met in the other day.

"Ana, so nice to see you again," she greets me the moment I walk in.

"You too Elena. Thank you for squeezing me in, my schedule was tight today."

Unlike our last meeting, we both spend a few minutes looking over the menu before placing our orders with the wait staff. I feel much more at ease today than I did the last meeting; I have an agenda for today's meeting unlike the other day when I was blind sided.

"You had some questions Ana?" Elena starts as we wait for our meal to be served.

"I did. My first question may seem simple but it's a deal breaker for me. I need to know that I will be safe on these _dates._ I mean no offense, but I can't just take your word that these men aren't dangerous and won't hurt me."

"Ana…." She sits back in her chair clearly caught off guard by my question. I've thought a lot about this over the last day and a half, my safety absolutely must be my first priority. I may not live in the safest of areas, but those are dangers I can handle. I cannot and will not be put in danger by Elena's offer; I will not allow the past to repeat itself. "I can certainly understand your reservations about the natural risk involved when you meet someone you don't know. If anything, the way I handle things puts you in a much safer position than if you met some random guy on the street or online and decided to go on a date with him. I do not advertise my services; the average Joe on the street cannot walk into my office and request a date with one of my staff. Clients are by referral only and their net worth must be over five million dollars or I won't even speak to them. All clients go through the same background checks as my staff, I expect nothing less of them because they have a ton of money."

"I won't agree to meet someone in a private setting," I note. "I don't mind meeting someone in a room like this, but it absolutely must be in a public setting. I won't agree to dates in someone's apartment or in their office after everyone has left."

"Is this firm or is it something you are willing to negotiate after you have a few dates with someone?"

"I'm not sure. I guess for now it's firm but maybe later I would feel comfortable negotiating?"

"That's fine. I only ask because sometimes clients ask for someone to accompany them on a business trip. For example, I believe you met Mr. Thompson the other day?" I nod remembering meeting him. "He was picking up clothes for the woman that I arranged to accompany him on a business trip to New York. This is not unusual, but I will say that very rarely will these trips be a first meeting. Typically both parties have met each other several times before hand and feel comfortable enough with each other to go on a trip like this. We insist clients reserve suites at the hotel and provide us with confirmation of the reservation. Each suite must have at minimum two separate bedrooms and bathrooms giving each person their privacy."

"I hadn't considered business trips. I suppose that's something I would be willing to consider later, but I think other than those I would prefer meetings to occur in public places."

"Perfectly understandable Ana."

"How much control do I have?"

"You have complete control Ana. You have the ability to decline a request once it's presented to you. You can terminate the contract at any point and walk away without any repercussions. I will not force you to go on a date or to a social event; you need to decide if the person requested your company is a potential match for you. You have the final say Ana."

"What are my options if something goes wrong during a date?"

"I am available at all times to both my clients and my staff. I have never received a call that something is wrong on a date or that the client acted inappropriately. But in the event something like that does happen, you simply call me and I will handle the situation even if it means I come to where you are."

"Good."

"What other questions do you have Ana?"

"I don't want clients knowing where I live; I prefer to have that private-"

"Clients are not given your address, phone number and key information is blacked out of your background check that is given to them. All communication goes through me; dates are scheduled through me. Typically both parties agree to meet at a certain location, sometimes it's even my office if it is an event that the client wants to arrive with the date to. They will not pick you up at home or drop you off there at the end of the evening. Not only does it protect your privacy but it saves the chance of lines getting blurred especially at the end of the night."

"Thank you, I appreciate you settling my fears. When we met you mentioned that some of your staff are only working for you and not working other jobs. I'm trying to wrap my head around the financial aspect of this now that you answered my questions about safety. To be honest Elena, I need to know if this is something I can steadily rely on to pay my rent every month or if this is something that will provide me only with spending money."

"That makes sense Ana especially given what I know about your current financial situation," why do I get the feeling her background check likely included my bank account balances? "Let me put it this way, I have a long waiting list of potential clients more than I can accept right now because I don't have enough staff. Staff decide how many events or dates they want to attend per week; some decide to only attend one and some attend two to three. It also depends on the requests, I have some clients have a standing arrangement with a staff member in that they request that staff for every event they attend. Many of those staff average two events per week, often bringing in close to five thousand dollars a month depending on the type of event. What it boils down to Ana, is how much you earn and how often you work is complete up to you. For some staff, this is simply spending money to pay off a few bills. For others though this is how they pay all their bills. What is it you want Ana?"

"I don't know," I admit honestly. "I like the idea of not working so many long hours but I'm nervous to suddenly give it all up. I enjoy the bakery where I work and I could probably continue working there while I figure this out. If I signed the contract though I don't think I could continue working at the store. I think it would be awkward to dress men and women who are essentially my coworkers or men who I could end up on a date with. However giving that job up is a little frightening to me."

"Understandably so Ana. I don't normally do this but I'll make you a deal. If you sign a contract with me and then find it isn't for you for whatever reason, I will give you a glowing recommendation at one of the many stores I have accounts with or companies I do business with. I will guarantee you a job within two weeks of you terminating your contract with me."

"Why would you do that?"

"Ana, I want to help you. I can tell you haven't had it easy in life and for whatever reason you don't trust easily. You remind me of myself when I was younger; I guess that makes me want to see you succeed. I promise you if this doesn't work out for whatever reason I will ensure you have a job and are not left on the street. Why don't you try one dinner date with a client and see how it goes? If you decide after that date this isn't for you, we terminate the contract and never look back. If you decide this isn't as scary as the thoughts going through your head, then I will show your profile to other clients for potential dates. What do you say?"

"One date….I…..I suppose I can agree to that."

"Good, I really think you will see this isn't as bad as you are thinking Ana. What other questions do you have?"

"How will I not be tied back to your company? I mean, if I'm photographed with a date and the press runs a background check on me won't they see that I'm on your payroll?"

"They will. However, if they look into my company they will see that we are a consultation firms working with large and small companies across the state. You will be listed as a consultant which is a very broad title. In all the years since I started this company up, I've never had a reporter question exactly what it is someone does for me or what exactly consultation services were provide."

We talk for another hour or so as we finish our lunch and at the end I have decided to stick to our agreement and try one date through Elena figuring I don't have much to lose. I won't quit one of my jobs until I'm sure this is going to work out. I'm confident with the answers that Elena has given me; I like that I'm going to have more control over my schedule and the men I am seen with than I originally expected to have. Although there are risks, I can't say the risks are higher than if I stay in the place I currently live. I've been there almost a year now and in that time I've seen more drug deals occur than I ever expected to and the police have been almost a weekly presence in the building for several months now. The neighborhood itself is risky; I'm at risk anytime I leave the apartment essentially especially given the late hours I often work. At least with the dates I will be in a public setting which reduces my risk of being hurt significantly. Although I don't want to put myself at risk, at some point I need to take a risk and change things if I'm ever going to change my life further. Leaving _him_ and moving to Seattle was the riskiest thing I have ever done and so far it has turned out pretty well for me. I want to improve my life further, I want to do something with my life and right now accepting this offer seems like the only way I'm going to get ahead.

"Thank you again for squeezing me in Elena and for answering my many questions. I appreciate the time you took."

"I have to admit I was surprised to hear from you; I was worried I scarred you off with the contract the other night. I'm glad that wasn't the case and that you decided to give this a chance. I don't think you're going to regret it. I'll be in touch in the next few days with a potential dinner scheduled and a profile for you to approve."

The next few days go by slowly; the electricity remains off in my building but I hardly notice because I end up working even more hours than I was originally scheduled for. Bathing is the most inconvenience of all; while I have water in my apartment, I don't have hot water. I wash my hair using gallons of water that I let get to room temperature before using. It's better than trying to wash my hair in the shower which now lasts less than a minute as I quickly wash before I freeze too much. I'm getting tired of eating tuna fish sandwiches for meals, but I would live with it if it meant being able to take a hot shower again. I think the longest we went without electricity was nine days, if it doesn't go longer this time it should be turned back on in the next few days.

 _Author's Note: Sorry it's so short guys but I felt I needed to end it here because of where the next chapter starts off. Thank you all for your continued support of this story, I continue to be blown away by the feedback. I love that some readers are still suspicious of Elena despite her different role at this point in this story! Please keep the feedback coming, some of you have given me a few ideas I plan to incorporate later in the story!_


	9. Chapter 8

_Author's note: Thank you all for your continued support and feedback on this story! I love reading everyone's thoughts on how Christian and Ana will meet and of course what Elena's role in this story will be. I know many of you have questions about Ana's past, about Christian's past and of course about Elena….all will be revealed in time. To the guest reviewer who commented that the financial piece doesn't add up in this story: your calculations that Ana earns $4,500 per month would be accurate assuming she works every day, both jobs, for the entire month. As is the case with most part time jobs, Ana does not work every day and there are times when she doesn't work both jobs. Also, while I know nothing about Seattle, I am drawing on my experience with the cost of rent in a large cities and often times it is very difficult for someone making minimum wage (at the bakery) or even over minimum wage (at the store) to afford an apartment in a decent neighborhood without having roommates to split the rent with. I hope this clarifies your question regarding the rent, but if not please log in and PM me so we can talk privately._

All characters belong to E.L. James.

Chpt. 8 CPOV:

"Mr. Grey, may I have a moment?" Andrea knocks on my door.

"Quickly."

"I have a Mrs. Elena Lincoln on the line requesting a meeting with you to discuss an upcoming charity gala you are attending, how would you like me to handle the call sir?"

"Elena Lincoln?" I pause surprised that she would be calling requesting a meeting with me. "I believe she sits on the board with my mother for the charity; she probably wants to solicit a donation for the event. Squeeze her in where you can but for no more than half an hour; I don't want to get trapped listening to how much some charity needs my donation for hours on end."

"Yes sir."

Usually my mother handles the request for donations but I know she has been very busy lately with another charity that is very new and she is trying to raise money for. I think it's odd that Elena would request a personal meeting with me to discuss the donation though, typically a phone is all that is needed given that I regularly donate to most of the charities my mother is sitting on the board for including the one that I am scheduled to attend next.

My thoughts are quickly diverted as my outlook calendar alerts me to another meeting that is starting in a few minutes in the board room. My day is filled with meetings, conference calls and reviewing reports just like every other day. I love what I do; I love taking over companies that are on the brink of closing and either breaking it apart into different pieces to sell for more than I acquired the company for or in some cases tucking the company into GEH and turning it around in less than a few months. I love the challenge of finding a way to turn a failing company into a success. As is the case most days, before I know it the sun has set and I'm the last person in the building besides Taylor. I leave GEH, return to Escala for a late dinner and then spend a few more hours in my office working. This routine is what my life consists of lately; the only change is when I have an event or business dinner to attend. It may seem boring, but the long hours is what has made GEH the success that it is. GEH wouldn't be anywhere near as successful if I only worked the typical eight hour day that most employees in America work. Instead, I average ten to twelve hours in the office each day plus another three to five hours per night at home. Weekends are the only time I find a way to relieve stress, even if it's only for a few hours. When I am not obligated to attend an event, I can typically be found in the same place every Friday or Saturday evening. It's the one time each week I can step away from being CEO of GEH and leave all the stress behind.

As is the case most nights, sleep doesn't come easy for me. When I finally manage to fall asleep, I find my thoughts focusing on the beautiful brunette Taylor and I met on the street months ago. Only this time I don't picture her as she was that day on the sidewalk, instead she is standing naked in front of me, her hands bound behind her back and a piece of red silk fabric covering her eyes. She's waiting for me, her body is calling out to me, begging for my touch. Her nipples are hardened as the anticipation of what is about to happen arouses her even further. I take a step towards her, not able to keep myself from touching her for another moment but the space between us is increased. Another step towards her, yet she is further away than she was moments ago. I quickly take three steps forward, my hand reaching out to touch her but again she remains just out of reach. Frustrated, I run to her but this time she completely disappears and I'm left standing in a cold dark room with a dirty mattress lying on the floor in the corner of the room. He kicks the door open, she screams at him but he silences her very quickly. I run to the dirty mattress, quickly climbing on top of it and hiding under the blankets. My hands are over my ears, but I can still hear her crying out begging him to stop.

It's nearly three in the morning and I find myself wide awake. I contemplate going for a run, but I really don't want to wake Taylor up. I shouldn't give a fuck…I pay him to be available when I need him, but even I'm not that cold hearted to wake him up in the middle of the night and pull him from the warm bed he shares with his woman. I've never experienced what he has; I've never slept in the same bed as a woman. My nightmares have always prevented me from being able to do that. I remember once when I was little, my parents took us somewhere….to this day I can't remember where we were going or why but we were in a hotel room and Elliot and I had to share a bed because there were only two beds in the room with my parents taking the other one. I don't remember the nightmare that night and can only assume it's a variation of the one I have every night. What I do remember is waking up to find Elliot wrapped in my mom's arms crying and my dad rushing into the room with a bag of ice. Apparently during my nightmare I had given Elliot a black eye and nearly broke his nose when he tried to wake me up. Both of my parents were quick to tell me that it wasn't my fault and Elliot quickly forgot what happened, instead making up stories that he would later tell his friends about how he was injured. I have never forgotten that day or the way my parents looked at me when I woke up; they weren't angry, their eyes were filled with pity though. Since that day, I have vowed to never give them a reason to look at me like that again. That was the last time I ever slept in the same bed with someone; every trip after that my parents made sure to reserve a room with an extra pull out bed or a rollaway bed.

"Taylor, I'd like to leave in ten minutes for a run," I notify Taylor a little before five which is what I have decided is an okay time to wake him.

"Yes sir, I'm ready when you are," Taylor responds quickly obviously knowing my preference for early morning runs.

We haven't discussed my nightmares except for the week I employed him; I was having another one of my nightmares which I guess had gotten loud and he came barging into my room with his gun drawn. Scared me shitless, but after I cooled down I realized he reacted exactly as I hoped he would if something had happened in the middle of the night. We had a brief conversation that night in which I informed him I have nightmares fairly regularly and have never spoken about it again. Very few people know that I experience nightmares on an almost daily basis; in fact I can count on one hand the number of people outside of my immediately family who are aware of them, two of which are my employees. Very few people who know that I suffer from nightmares are aware of the context, although I suspect that most assume they relate to my time with my birthmother.

Our run pattern varies from day to day; Taylor insists that I don't run the same route regularly as he is afraid it puts me at risk. Any pattern we take has us running past Sweet Dreams Bakery; Taylor started this after he learned who the beautiful woman was that we inadvertently drenched and where she works. I haven't gone into the bakery, but I find myself glancing at the window every day hoping to get a glimpse of her. A few times I have seen her at the register, other times she either isn't working or is in the back where I can't see her. Taylor purposely slows down when we approach the bakery knowing that I'm going to look for her but he doesn't say anything. It's one of the things I like most about Taylor; he keeps his opinions to himself unless I specifically ask him about it. Like now, as I barely get a glimpse of her brunette hair through the window of the bakery, I'm sure Taylor is wondering what the hell is wrong with me and why I don't just go inside. We would have a convenient excuse for going in: we could need bottled water, a cup of coffee or even breakfast but of course we never go in. I don't know anything about her, but I know I could never be what she needs. The way she looked at me that day, with her big, innocent blue eyes I knew that I was no good for her. She is the type of woman who wants to bring a guy home to her parents, who wants and expects to be romanced by a guy and one who expects long term commitments when she goes out with a guy. She wants everything I can't give her and can never give her. The only thing I can give her is a fantastic, hard fuck one night and maybe a call when I need a release again. One look at her and I know that she would never settle for something like that so why even bother?

"Sir?" Taylor pulls me from my thoughts when we somehow end up back in the foyer at Escala. How we ended up back here, I have no clue. Apparently I let my thoughts of Ms. Steele distract me for the last three miles of our run.

"We'll leave for GEH in twenty, have Gail have my breakfast ready in ten," I request.

A quick shower and even quicker breakfast has me at GEH long before most of my employees. The only person who arrives before me most mornings is Roz; she works nearly as hard as I do, putting in close to the same number of hours I do at GEH. Minutes after I arrive, she barges into my office setting a cup of coffee in front of me before she sits in the chair in front of my desk. We don't have a standing appointment, but this has been our routine for the last year or two when we are both in the office.

"You did it again Grey," she sighs.

"Who did I piss off this time?"

"No one in particular….except for a few reporters," she tosses the latest gossip magazine on my desk.

"UGH….what bullshit is in here this time?"

"You're on the third page."

I thumb through the first few pages before I find a picture of myself taken just two nights ago at a benefit at the local children's hospital. The headline reads "What is the billionaire playboy hiding?" I quickly skim the story which speculates yet again that I am hiding something related to my sexuality which is the reason I can't keep a woman. The reporter goes further than most, speculating that my last relationship with her was simple a façade designed to keep the dogs off my trail so I can keep my secret in hiding. While she provided no comment to the press regarding our relationship, the reporter goes as far as stating it is because I must have bought her silence which likely came with a hefty price tag since she has refused to comment on anything since our breakup more than two years ago. The reporter suggests that my secret could be anything from hiding the truth about my sexuality to a porn addiction to taking part in something that is illegal. I close the magazine and throw it in the trash without reading the article any further. The reporter failed to mention that I had provided a generous donation to the children's hospital which is why I was attending that event to begin with. Instead of focusing on the great research that the hospital is doing, they focus on the fact that I attended the event alone.

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't," I sigh in frustration.

"We need to discuss the shipping dock deal," she quickly recognizes that I'm done discussing this garbage. "I'm hitting a brick wall with them, I think they might respond better to you. Maybe you can set up a dinner or something to wine and dine them? We've been at a stale mate for the last couple of weeks over this negotiation; they always seem to respond better to you-"

"I'll call them and if they are agreeable I'll have Andrea arrange something at the Mile High Club in a couple of weeks. I want you there though; you were responsible for bringing the deal this far, just because they want to be a pain in the ass at the end doesn't mean your work isn't recognized. I want it known to them that you were responsible for everything this far."

"Thank….thank you Christian. I appreciate that," she is clearly surprised – I don't give out compliments often but in this case Roz has done everything on this deal including going above and beyond what they have asked for. I think the bottom line is they don't want to deal with a strong woman; I get the impression they are used to dealing with men and likely don't value anything she says.

"I'll read over this but I'm sure you have everything aligned."

"Mr. Grey, your nine o'clock is here," Andrea interrupts us a short time later.

"Let me know if you need anything else," Roz says as she leaves my office.

"Mrs. Lincoln it's nice to see you again," I greet the woman Andrea has just shown in.

"It's Elena, but it's nice to see you as well Christian," she shakes my offered hand before sitting in the gestured chair.

I have known Elena for many years now as she serves on the board of several charities with my mother. Since we were old enough to understand, my mother has brought us to various charity events and insisted that we find ways to give back to the community. Since I'm usually too busy, my giving back to the community tends to be in the way of a large donation check. My parents organize various events , even hosting a few at their house; my sister volunteers her time at the hospital at least until she figures out what she wants to do with her life and my bother donates his construction services to several nonprofit organizations that help the homeless. All three of us are expected to attend as many charity events as possible, especially those that our parents attend. My mother accepts very few excuses for missing an event; typically the only ones I can get out of is when I'm traveling out of the state for business.

"I understand you wanted to talk with me about a donation for the Coping Together Gala next weekend? I've already confirmed my donation with my mother, but if there is something else that you need-"

"Actually, this isn't about that gala at all," she takes hands me a folder which when I open it I see if contains an non-disclosure agreement. My interest is immediately sparked as to what Elena could want to discuss with me that would require we both sign an NDA. I quickly review the document which is pretty standard, and then present her with one of my own NDAs. Although these are usually reciprocal I don't take anything for granted, and insist that whenever I sign an NDA that the other party signs one of mine as well.

"Now that we have that out of the way, what's this meeting really about Elena?" I ask.

"I've seen the tabloids and the numerous articles written about you Christian," I cringe. "I've known you long enough that I don't believe any of the things that have been written about you. I know the constant focus on your personal life must be getting to you and I'd like to offer a possible solution."

"I'm listening."

"We know each other in the charity circuit, but we probably know very little about each other on a personal level," I nod in agreement. "As you probably know, I run a successful consulting business targeted large corporations through Washington state. What you likely don't know, is that my consulting services specifically target men and women in your current situation."

"I'm sorry, I'm not following," I have no idea what she is talking about. If this is a sales visit I will kick her out of my office in the next two minutes and without a concern that she is friends with my mother. I do not accept sales visits and to do so under the disguise of a charity event is just wrong.

"I'd like to help you with your media problem-"

"I already have a full public relations department Elena," I point out.

"I'm sure you do Christian," she agrees. "But I can offer you something they can't. You see, my client list consists of many, highly successful men and women who are often publically criticized for their personal lives or lack thereof. These are men and women who don't have time to date, or don't want to date, but find themselves needing someone to accompany them to charity events, business dinners, award ceremonies, etc… That is where I can help you Christian…"

"Help me how?"

"Between us and the NDAs that we both signed, my consultation business essentially arranges for acceptable dates for men and women who need someone to be by their side in the public eye."

"You're a match maker?" I can't help but laugh.

"No, my goal is not love, romance and wedding bells. Essentially, I would provide you with a woman who would attend all your events with you to get the media off your ass. She would expect absolutely nothing in terms of romance. The only contact you would have with her would be on these prearranged dates. You wouldn't have to worry about her wanting you to call her the next day, or that she is going to start calling you every hour demanding your attention. Think of it as a business transaction; you pay for her to accompany you to a dinner, gala or whatever else you might need her to accompany you to for your business."

"What does she get out of it?"

"A paycheck," she answers simply. "The fee you pay to me covers her clothing for the event, her hourly pay and of course overhead charges associated with my services."

"How would this be any different than what I'm doing now? I've taken women to events and the media still rips me apart…."

"You've taken women to these events. What I would propose in your situation, is that you require an exclusive agreement be signed-"

"An exclusive agreement?"

"I'll back up, if you agreed to my services one of the first things I would do is provide you with a profile of a woman that I think would be a good match for you. This is someone that I think would fit the look you want in the public's eye but also that I think you could talk to. While it seems trivial since we're not talking about love and romance, having a common ground to talk to someone about is important seeing that events are sometimes long and boring," I nod in agreement. "Assuming you were interested in the profile I provide you with, I would schedule a private date for the two of you to meet. I recommend, especially with you being in the media's eye right now, that this date occur somewhere private and away from the press. Think of the dinner as a get to know you meeting. The first meeting you are not charged for. If you find that this woman is someone you could see yourself attending events with, then I would recommend you insist on an exclusivity agreement. Essentially this means that this woman would not be available to any other clients. This would prevent her from being seen with someone else at other events, which would of course reflect negatively on you in the press."

"Mr. Grey, your ten o'clock is here-" Andrea interrupts us.

"Ask Roz to meet with them," I quickly dismiss her.

"What type of women do this sort of thing? How do I know I can trust them not to run to the press?"

"All staff sign the same NDA you signed; if they dare say a word to the press I will destroy them legally and personally. They are paid very well for their silence; in the twenty years I have been running this business I have never had a staff member go to the press with a story. As for the type of women who do this, you would be surprised. I have college students in graduate school, students in medical or law school, I have single parents and I have a few who are down on their luck and just want to better their lives. They all go through a very extensive background check which includes information that comes at a very hefty price tag. They will stand up to any media scrutiny, so if you are concerned that the skeletons in their closets would be found out, don't be. If I can't find the skeletons no one can."

"I would insist on my own background check."

"Prior to the first meeting, I will release only very basic information as to protect their personal information from being known to anyone who requests a first meet with them. If you both decided this arrangement would work for you, I would then provide you with the full background checks that I completed; most clients find my checks to be more than they need."

"I would need to have my security team review your information, I may still need to run my own checks."

"If mine are not sufficient, we can discuss it at that time. There is protected information in the background check that my clients usually prefer their clients not have access to."

"What sort of protected information? If the press can obtain the information then I need to be able to."

"Mostly, their address and contact information include emergency contact information. Most of my staff prefer this information to be kept confidential so they have some privacy. It also keeps this arrangement more formal and prevents clients from being able to see or contact them outside of the agreed upon times."

"That wouldn't be an issue with me, I guarantee that. I can agree that if I need to run my own background checks, that my security team exclude her address and contact information in the final report that I receive."

"I think I can agree to that."

"What are the expectations at the end of the….evening if we attend an event together?"

"The end of the evening?" she looks confusing, I'm really not wanting to spell it out to her but if I have to I will. "OH! There is a clause in the contract that both parties sign indicating there will be no intimacy between the client and staff member. Any physical signs of affection, such as hand holding, kissing, dancing, etc… are agreed upon and noted in the contract. It is expected those signs of affection would only be shown when other people are present, since this would likely be for appearances only."

"So how would this work? I would pick her up at her house, bring her to dinner then drop her off at the curb at the end of the night?" I can't help but think it all seems rather cold, but at the same time I find myself considering the proposition.

"You would never pick her up at home or drop her off. Assuming you needed to show up together at an event, you would have a prearranged meeting location that you would pick her up at. This could be my office, your office or any other public place. You would drop her off at the same location at the end of the night. If arriving together is not as important, she could meet you there."

"I see."

"The arrangements don't have to only include charity events and business dinners; if you wanted companionship-"

"That won't be necessary," I interrupt quickly.

"I understand. This is a sample contract which includes a price list for your review. As I stated, any clothing and accessories that are required for an event are at your expense. I would send you a bill which would include the receipt from the store where everything was purchased. These items do not come cheap, as you anyone seen with you would be expected to wear certain things-"

"The cost wouldn't be an issue," I get what she's trying to say and I know she's right. The media expects that if I'm seen in a high end designer tux, that my date for the evening is also seen in a high end gown.

"Do you have any other questions Christian?"

"How would the women not be tied to you if the press dug into them? Certainly their financial history would show you as their employer? How would they not tie me to you? I would expect that to raise questions."

"Yes it would. And if they dug into my business, they would see that we are a consulting agency providing a variety of services to successful businesses up and down the east coast. All of those companies will verify my relationship with them should anyone ask. As far as your relationship with me, it could be played off as a business relationship turned romantic if the press were to ask. Or that you and the woman work together through my agency…."

"I don't want GEH to be tied to your services," I quickly decide. While it seems like she has thought of everything, I can't risk GEH's reputation on finding a solution for my personal life.

"Normally I don't give clients another option," she pauses as she thinks. "However, since you and I have known each other for so long, I will provide you with an option I don't give other clients. I have an off shore bank account set up, if you decide to sign the contract and we go further with this arrangement, you would transfer funds into that account. Since it is an off shore account, I'm sure you are aware that it is nearly impossible to track any money in and out of the account. Even the account holder information is held in confidence."

"That would be acceptable."

"So tell me Christian, are you interested in signing a contract with me? If so, I have a profile of a woman available right now for you to review…."

"I'd like to have my security team run their own checks on your company. No offense, but I need to be sure that any information about what you really do is truly buried. If it checks out, I will sign the contract but I'm only agreeing to the initial meeting. If I don't like how it feels, our contract is terminated at that moment."

"Of course, I'll leave you with this file to review as I'm sure when your team performs their review you will sign the contract. This young woman is newly signed to my company as well and has not yet met with anyone. I warn you though, I expect her to be signed to an exclusivity contract very quickly as she is a natural beauty that I think will appeal to most of my clients. You will note the file does not include a photo or any identifying information. Her basic physical description is provided, however the other information is kept confidential until your first meeting. This is protection to the both of you, neither of you can have preconceived notions of the other or start searching online for one another. Her background check is included in the file for your review as well."

"Thank you, I will review the file and will be in touch."

"I appreciate your time Christian and I look forward to doing business with you."

HOLY FUCK is the only thing I can think when she leaves my office. I need to have Welch and Taylor dig into this because if anyone can find anything they can. This almost seems too good to be true; it's the perfect solution for getting my press off my ass about my personal life. I read through the contract expecting to find a catch, but everything seems very cut and dry. The prices are high, higher than I expected, but given the arrangement I can't say I'm surprised. On one hand I can't believe I'm considering this, but on the other hand the thought that of having the focus back on the success of GEH and off my sex life is very appealing. I could be seen with a beautiful woman in the public, one that wouldn't expect hearts and flowers in being with me. I wouldn't have to worry about her developing feelings for me after accompanying me to a few events.

After reviewing the contract for the third time, I decide to take a look at the profile Elena provided me. Although there is no picture of the woman, I can at least learn about the type of women who would do something like this. I can only image what Elena must pay them for their services which just reinforces to me that they are money hungry like most women I meet. Although for once I don't care; the expectations of the evening are laid out in the contract. Hell it even says that they cannot request I pay for anything outside of the actual date itself and the items I reimburse Elena for. I don't have to buy gifts or feel pressured to do so.

 _Author's Note 2: This is easily my longest chapter yet for this story, however I warn you there will be no updates until at least Friday of this week. There have been some comments that this is a slow progressing story, and I agree, but as you can probably see by now we are getting closer to Ana and Christian meeting. I want to remind you of the summary of the story, if Ana and Christian are going to have a happily ever after, it's going to be a long and winding road. Once our favorite couple meet, don't expect them to immediately fall in love. We still have to get to the actual arrangement that the title of this story reflects…we aren't there yet. Hope you enjoyed Christian's perspective and the longer chapter!_


	10. Chapter 9

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 9 APOV:**

"Hello?" I answer the phone which is waking me up on a rare day that I have off from both of my jobs.

"Good Morning Ana, this is Elena. How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you Elena?"

"Very good, thank you. I'm calling because I have a profile for you to review. If you're going to be home today, I'll have a courier service bring it to you?"

"Yes, I'll be home today."

"Wonderful, it will arrive in the next hour. Now, just so you're not surprised, the profile won't contain any identifying information which means there will be no picture. At this point, you are just reviewing the information to see if he is someone you would like to meet. If you agree to meet him, when I call you back with the date arrangements I will provide you with this full name. He has reviewed the same information on you and would like to meet you if you are interested in meeting him."

"Okay…."

"I'll tell you a little about him; unlike most of my clients, I have known this gentleman socially for several years now. Like most people I socialize with, he had no idea what I truly do until very recently. He is a very successful businessman who works far too many hours and as a result has zero personal life. Because of his success he is invited to many different events including charity galas, fundraising dinners, political events and then of course there are the dinners associated with his own business. I do want to let you know however, he is going to require whoever he decides to contract with to sign an exclusivity contract-"

"I'm sorry, an exclusivity contract?"

"Yes, I believe I mentioned it in one of our meetings. Essentially, this is a contract that states that you, if you two were to agree to enter into a contract together, would agree to only have a contract with him. Meaning, I would not be able to provide your profile to any other clients and you would not be able to accept contracts with any other clients."

"Why would he insist on this? I don't see why he would care…"

"In his case, he needs someone by his side for publicity. You can't be seen with him in one picture on a website and then a week later be on the arm of another man at a different event-"

"OH! I see….that makes sense."

"I don't know too many specifics about what his commitments will be, but I think it's likely to be at least weekly events with a chance of up to two to three times per week."

"Really? That many?"

"For men who are this successful, this is pretty typical."

"Can I ask….what happened to the last girl he contracted with?"

"Nothing….like you, this will be his first meeting. He is a brand new client to me."

"I see."

"Once you review the profile, give me a call or text me to let me know if you are interested in scheduling a meeting. Be sure to look over your schedule, because I expect the meeting to occur this week."

"Thank you, I'll call you later."

I decide to wait around for the courier before heading to the laundromat a few blocks away to take care of my laundry. I pack everything up, and once the courier arrives, I throw the large envelope into my bag and head to the laundromat. I hate walking to the laundromat, especially carrying a large bag of clothes but there isn't really another option considering my building doesn't have its own washer and dryer. It's a pain, but at least the weather is nice today; I've ended up walking in the rain with clean clothes which isn't any fun.

After I throw the clothes into the washer, I take the file out of the envelope and discreetly begin reviewing it. There isn't much to review though; like Elena said there was no identifying information, only his initials which are CG. Other than that it's basic information: he works in the business industry as a CEO, he enjoys sailing and gliding and he lives in Seattle. There is really no information about him as a person which is kind of disappointing. I don't know what I expected but I guess more along the lines of his likes, dislikes, favorite foods, etc… There's actually more information about the type of woman he is looking for: someone who can attend social events and business dinners, must be comfortable meeting new people, must be able to remember key players, must have an open mind in business and politics, must not be a picky eater ( _interesting requirement)_ , must be willing to sign an exclusivity contract, must be willing to be photographed and must be available evenings and weekends when needed. I think I meet most of those requirements: I'm comfortable meeting new people, my experience at business functions with _him_ required me to remember specific details about certain people, I'm anything but a picky eater and evenings/weekends wouldn't be a problem if I stopped working at the store. I decided a few days after meeting with Elena that if I agreed to this arrangement I would stop working at the store. I enjoy working at the bakery the most and if I had to choose a job to keep, it was hands down the bakery. Plus, I don't like the idea of interacting with coworkers or former dates while at the store; I think it would be awkward and uncomfortable for both of us. Its risky staying at the bakery because I don't know what's going to happen after the sale of the business, but I'm confident that if I don't stay on with the new owners that I can find another job at another bakery especially with Ginny's recommendation. Besides the hours at the bakery is less likely to conflict with events that I would be requested to attend. I see very few business deals being done at five or six in the morning.

Taking a deep breath, I send Elena a text message saying I agree to meeting CG; I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I still can't help but question if I'm making the right decision and if I can trust Elena whom I barely know. Elena has addressed all of my concerns and I have insisted that all meetings occur in public so I think there's less chance of getting hurt. I know if I ever want to improve my life, I need to make some changes and the only way to do that is to earn more money. I hate that I'm working so many hours and barely making ends meet. I would love to be able to go back to school, afford a nicer place and maybe take a trip or something one day. Right now my focus is always on working enough hours to pay my bills and then to put a little money aside in the event that one day I need to leave quickly or if one of my jobs fell through I would have a safety net at least for a little while. I cross my fingers and hope that for once I have met someone I can trust; I'm still leery but so far Elena has been nothing but truthful to me. She isn't asking me for a crazy commitment; she won't have control over the dates I accept or don't accept and it's not costing me anything to meet one guy to see if this is something I want to do. It's hard to trust someone I barely know, but if I don't see opportunities like this coming along again so it's a risk I have to be willing to take. I'm going to proceed cautiously; I'll bring my mace with me to dinner and make sure my cell phone is fully charged incase I need to call a cab quickly to get me out of somewhere.

 _He wants to meet you, tonight 6pm at the Mile High Club. Reservation will be in my name. Go to Stacy's on Third, she will provide you with everything you need for tonight. It will be charged to my account. Good Luck Ana. –Elena_

Holy crap! I didn't expect anything to happen so fast! I quickly throw my clothes into the bag and head back to my apartment. I only have a couple of hours to find something to wear for tonight and then to get ready. Of course the Mile High Club is nowhere near where I live, so I will need to take a couple of buses to get over to that area of the city. Of course I've never been there, but I saw it advertised in magazines at work; it's one of those places you could only dream of having enough money to eat at.

Less than an hour later, I arrive at Stacy's on Third which is what I expected: a high end, very expensive, boutique. When I mention Elena's name, I'm immediately assisted by the owner who ushers me into a dressing room and starts throwing dresses at me. It feels very different to be on this side of the dressing room; usually I'm the one finding expensive, beautiful clothes for women who are getting ready for a night on the town. Once again it almost feels surreal to know that I'm the one experiencing all of this. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop or for someone to pull the rug out from underneath me. It's one of those things that is too good to be true. Those types of things don't happen to girls like me and if they do, I've learned the hard way that the other shoe will always drop.

"Oh that's it! It will be perfect!" Stacy pulls me from my pity party when she steps into the room just as I finish putting on a dark blue dress.

"I'm going to-"

"Elena told me when she called me earlier. Rest assured miss this dress is perfect! We will pair it with some jewelry and shoes with a small heal but you won't need anything else. I recommend you wear your hair up, have a few pieces fall around your face and curl them. Minimal make up, you're a natural beauty anyway so you don't need that stuff caked on your face."

"Th…thank you," I'm stunned by her compliment.

"Shall I wrap everything up for you?"

"Yes please."

By the time I take two buses back to my apartment, I have less than hour before I need to get back on almost the same buses to head to dinner. If nothing else, I'm grateful that the electricity in the apartment has been turned back on; I don't know how I would manage getting ready without electricity. If I decide to move forward with this arrangement after tonight, I'm probably going to need to come up with a contingency plan for getting ready when the electricity is turned off again at least until I can hopefully afford a new apartment one at least where the landlord doesn't randomly decide to turn off the power.

I take one final look in the mirror before it's time to leave; I barely recognize the woman staring back at me. On one hand she looks vaguely familiar….she looks like the woman I've been trying so hard to forget used to look. But, there's something else I see that I never saw in that woman; I'm not sure what it is exactly but it's definitely there and it's different from the woman who let _him_ walk all over her. I shake my head, vowing to not think of _him_ tonight, to not think of that life again. I may not live in a fancy house and have a lot of material things like I used to, but I'm happier now than I think I have been in my entire life.

"Good Evening, may I help you Ms?" I'm greeted the moment the elevator doors open to the restaurant.

"I'm….I'm meeting someone, the reservation is under Elena Lincoln," I take a deep breath desperately trying to calm my nerves.

"Yes of course, the other party has not yet arrived but I will show you to your private dining area for tonight."

As we walk through the dining room, I can't help but try to take everything in. The large dining room is even more stunning than the pictures in the magazines. There are floor to ceiling windows that line two full walls which overlook Seattle. I wish I could get closer to the windows to take in the full view but I realize if I don't keep up I'm going to lose my guide to the room. Just before we reach the back corner of the dining room, I take a final peak around the room and send a silent thank you to Stacy who dressed me absolutely perfectly for tonight. I'm pleased to see I am neither overdressed nor underdressed which was my major concern.

"Miss, your other party should be here shortly," he opens the door to the private dining room ushering me in.

"Thank you."

The private dining room is small with only a handful of circular tables throughout the room, but what captures my attention are the windows on along the wall. Just like in the main dining room, the windows line the entire small wall. My feet bring me to the wall of windows almost on their own; I can't help but gaze out at the beautiful view before me. Being on the top floor of this building, the restaurant sits higher than most buildings in the city which provides it with an unobstructed view of the city. I've never seen Seattle from this high; it's truly breathtaking. I'm told the view from the nightclub that is part of this restaurant just one floor down is just as stunning. Most likely a view I'll never see, but I try to take in as much from this view as I possibly can vowing to never forget it.

I'm so lost in my thoughts, I don't realize that someone else is in the room with me until they clear their throat. I turn around and am shocked at the man who stands before me. I never expected to see him again….and never in my dreams did I think he would be the man I was meeting tonight. Of course I dreamed about seeing him again, but never thought it would actually happen. I knew the chances of our paths crossing would be very slim. When he stepped out of the car to personally apologize for soaking me I knew the moment I saw him that I would never see him. I could tell in that moment that we were from two different worlds. I always hoped that someone we would run into each other again, but I wouldn't have thought of him needing a service like this.

"Umm…..hi," I nervously walk towards him praying I don't trip over my own feet as my legs suddenly seem weak.

"It's nice to see you again Miss….?"

"Anastasia….well Ana. It's nice to see you again….?"

"Christian," he shakes my offered hand. The moment our fingers touch a jolt of electricity goes through me, almost like static electricity but stronger. The look in his eyes tells me he felt it too.

"Would you like to have a seat?" he gestures me to the table behind me.

"I….I want to thank you again for paying for a new outfit-" I nervously began.

"Don't…it was the least I could do," he interrupts.

"I'm not sure….how this works exactly. I've never done this before," I admit after an awkward moment of silence.

"Neither am I," he chuckles. "Why don't you tell me about yourself Ana?"

"Okay," I take a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. " I currently work at a bakery in the mornings and for now as a personal shopper in the evening. I like to read; I love books, I could easily get lost in them for hours."

"Did you grow up in Seattle?"

"No, I've lived here for just the past two years."

"Where did you grow up?"

"On the east coast; how about you? Did you grow up in Seattle?"

"I was born in Detroit, but I've lived in Seattle most of my life."

"What is it you do?"

"You don't know?"

"Should I?"

"I guess now," he chuckles. "I'm often recognized from the tabloids stories; reporters love to try to destroy me whenever they can."

"Sorry, I can't say I tabloids."

"I'm the CEO of Grey Enterprise Holdings, GEH for short; we are one of the biggest companies in the mergers and acquisitions world. In the business world, I'm known as the shark, because I often go after small, weaker companies and take them over."

"I guess the tabloids don't like that."

"The business articles written about me are typically very on point with what my business does. The tabloids like to destroy my personal life. I'm sure you will see the articles if you google me and then you'll know what I mean. But that's one of the reasons I'm actually meeting you tonight."

"What exactly are you looking for? I mean, I know what your profile told me but…"

"I need someone by myside at events, dinners and probably even just an occasional date to keep the reports off my ass. Apparently being seen without a date, or with various women at different events, is a sign of my inability to manage the hundreds of people that I currently employ. I've tried everything and my PR department can't think of anything that we haven't tried to throw them off. I don't know if Elena explained, but I'm going to need someone to sign an exclusivity contract meaning-"

"She explained. I can't accept dates with other men."

"Exactly. I need the media to think we are a couple so they get off my ass and let me focus on my business."

"I understand."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why are you doing this? I mean, clearly in my situation I have a problem and this is a perfect solution. If you don't mind me asking, what's in it for you?"

"If I can be honest, it was a hard offer to not consider. As I said, I currently work two jobs most days of the week but despite that I barely make enough money to pay my bills. I would love to go back to school one day but I don't want to take out student loans and live in debt the rest of my life. There's other things I want to do and Elena's offer seemed like a good way to earn enough money to do all those things."

"I see."

"Sir, ma'am, your dinner," the waiter places large plates in front of both of us. My mouth waters just at the smell alone.

"Elena must have ordered for us, if you'd prefer something else we can send it back," Christian offers.

"No, it's fine. It smells delicious."

We spend the next hour slowly getting to know each other over dinner; the initial awkwardness is now gone. I learn that Christian lives and works in Seattle but that work takes up most of his time. From the sound of it he often works as many hours as I do when I work both my jobs. He is honest in saying that he doesn't have time to date woman and is not interested in dating at this point of his life because he knows he doesn't have the time. He describes recent events that he has been to, I think to let me know what I can expect if we decide to move forward with this arrangement. Nothing he says about the events raise a concern for me; it sounds a very similar to things I used to attend with _him_.

"Ana, I want you to know that sometimes these events can be rather boring unfortunately. It's a lot of business discussions, contracts being negotiated and prices being negotiated. It's not going to be fun-"

"Christian, I….I have an idea of what to expect. I….I've been to these types of things before."

"Oh?"

"I can mingle with guests and will not require your undivided attention. I understand that your focus is on these events and not on the company you're with. It's fine."

"They won't all be like that," he quickly explains. "Sometimes these events are just social events that I need to make an appearance at. A charity fundraiser, a hospital dedication or a park unveiling; those types of events would probably be more enjoyable. Of course I still find them to be a waste of my time, but I'm obligated to attend. The food is usually half way decent, sometimes there's dancing and there's always good drinks."

"It's fine Christian, really."

"I'm going to speak with Elena tonight Ana, but I want you to know that I'm going to inform her that I would like move into an exclusivity agreement with you. I wanted to let you know now to allow you an opportunity to think about it. If you agree, I have a charity event this weekend I would like you to accompany me to."

"I…."

"Take the time you need tonight to think about it, I'm sure Elena will call you tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Can I walk you to your car?" he asks as we ride the elevator to the main floor. Taylor joined us as soon as we left the private dining room. I've confirmed that Taylor is not only his driver but his bodyguard as well.

"Oh…I didn't….I took the bus here. There's a stop a couple of blocks away."

"Taylor will take you home-"

"No! I mean, that won't be necessary. The bus is fine, I take it often and know the stops and transfers to get home."

"Shit, I'm sorry, I forgot that part," he nods at Taylor who immediately flags down a cab. "The cab will take you wherever you need to go Ana."

"Christian that's not-"

"Ana, please I can't let you get on a bus at this hour of the night. Please, let the cab take you home. I won't know where you live, but will at least know that you arrived there safely."

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

"Good night Ana," Christian whispers as he pecks me ever so lightly on the cheek.

"Night Christian."

 _Author's Note: There will be no update this weekend. Next update will be early next week. Christian and Ana finally meet! Please have patience, this story is not meant to be fast and the summary kind of warned of that. Christian and Ana will not fall head of heels in love with each other after a few arranged dates. There's so much more to come!_


	11. Chapter 10

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 10 CPOV:**

"Taylor, I want a full background check on Anastasia Steele first thing tomorrow morning," I request as soon as the car pulls away from the club.

"Sir, we already have a full background check on her; we can review it once we are back at Escala."

"Why do you have a background check on Ms. Steele? I don't recall requesting one."

"You didn't sir," he confirms. "After I learned her identify at the bakery, I had Welch run a full background check on her. At the time….sir….well, I wasn't sure of your intentions therefore I thought it would be beneficial to have it ready if you ever decided to make contact with her."

"I see. Were you aware that I was meeting her tonight?"

"Not exactly sir. I attempted to obtain that information from Ms. Lincoln but she refused to provide me with any information. Without knowing who you were meeting tonight, maintaining security measures were going to be difficult. I had Barney and Welch monitoring the club's security cameras beginning half an hour before your scheduled meeting. It was not until we left GEH did I receive a text alerting me to who the woman you were meeting tonight was after Welch identified her from the background report I asked him to run on Ms. Steele a month or so ago."

Anastasia was the last woman I expected to be the woman Elena arranged for me to meet tonight. When I thought about what type of woman might decide to become an escort, I never once pictured Ana as that woman. I'm still not entirely sure what I think about her and this situation; everything about her until now has told me she is not interested in money, yet her reason for becoming an escort was money. Of course she has dreams which require money and I was pleased to learn it was education related and not something crazy like plastic surgery or to buy a bigger house. It's still hard to wrap my head around the thought that she is the type of woman who would accept money in exchange for a date. I can't help but wonder if her innocence is all some act, but at the same time that innocence was there the night we met her on the sidewalk after the rain storm. If I believe her, she had no idea who I was that night or even tonight although I'm sure as soon as she gets home tonight she will be on google finding out everything she can about me. She will not only learn that I'm one of Seattle's youngest billionaires but she will also have the opportunity to read everything the media has written about me including when they rake my name through mud over my personal life. Ever since the plan my PR department came up with backfired, I have been attending events solo which of course the media still thinks means I'm hiding something but at least I don't have to hear about why I bring a different woman to each event.

I'm hoping this arrangement with Elena is the solution to my problems with the media. I hope that once they see that I have the same woman attending events with me that they will forget the idea that I'm hiding something and that they will stop digging into my personal life. Welch and Barney both completed full background checks on Elena's company and as far as they can know she only provides consultation services to different companies along the west coast. They weren't able to find any trace of her running an escort service or any other type of business; if it was out there they would have found it. Besides Taylor, no one knows about my arrangement with Elena; Welch and Barney believed they were doing a background check for a possible acquisition which I later changed my mind about. I try to keep my personal life separate from my work life and this is one of those things that no one at GEH needs to know about….hell _no one_ needs to know about.

"Taylor, my office," I request as we enter Escala.

"Yes sir."

He disappears into this suite off my apartment before coming into my office with a manila folder which I can only assume contains the full background check of Anastasia Steele. Taylor is very good at his job and this is just another example of knowing what I needed before I knew it. I should have known he wouldn't take me past the bakery every day on our run without having completed a full check on Anastasia.

"Sir," he hands the folder to me. I quickly take it but before I can open it I am reminded about what Elena said about certain information needing to remain confidential. I'm tempted to just say fuck it, that I need to know everything about Anastasia if I'm going to move forward with this arrangement. Surprisingly though, I hand the file back to Taylor electing not to learn the information that Elena said her staff require remain private.

"I'm not supposed to know her address, phone number and emergency contact information," I sigh. "It's part of the arrangement so we both maintain our privacy."

"I see," his face tells me he is surprised that I'm not requesting the information anyways.

"Tell me what's in the file. I can't know exactly where she lives, but does she live in Seattle? Does she have any roommates that I need to be concerned about finding out about this arrangement?"

"Sir, she lives alone according to the information we were able to obtain. She rents a very small, studio apartment in a less desirable neighborhood-"

"Less desirable meaning what exactly?"

"Let's just say sir that I would not be comfortable going into that area without being armed-"

"It's that bad?"

"Even with an increase in police presence around that area the crime remains very high."

"Why the fuck does she live there?"

"Sir, she has less than a couple hundred dollars in her bank account, I doubt she can afford something in a better area of the city at least without a roommate."

"She works two jobs and can't afford something better than that? Are the rent prices that high in this city?"

"Yes sir, they are. She pays just over a thousand dollars a month in rent for her studio apartment, now add in her utilities and transportation costs she likely doesn't have much left at the end of the month. She likely takes at least two buses each way to get to her jobs that cost alone adds up."

"Okay, what else? High credit card bills? Debts?"

"No credit cards, she has a small student loan balance but she has been paying it fairly regularly. It looks like she stopped paying it for a few months a couple of years ago and was granted a financial hardship reprieve however since that expired she has been making regular payments."

"Where did she go to school? I was under the impression she had not attended college."

"She only had one semester left at NYU before appearing to have dropped out."

"I see. What else can you tell me?"

"She appears to have moved around a lot as a child, there are many different addresses and schools on record for her. Her mother is deceased, no father is listed on the birth certificate -"

"Is there anything alarming in her file that I need to be concerned about the press finding?" I quickly interrupt Taylor. Hearing all these details about Ana's personal life makes me again feel like I'm invading her privacy. I guarantee Elena's background check isn't this thorough, but I think this is one of those situations that the less I know the better. This is all important information for Taylor and Welch to have but none of it will impact the events that Ana attends with me.

"Nothing that I can find sir. I'm curious as to the reason she left New York and how she ended up in Seattle as it appears she has no family anywhere in the state or even on this coast. However there is nothing here that suggests the reason she left is something for us to be concerned about. She has no criminal record, not even a parking ticket, and appears to pay her bills on time every month."

"Thank you Taylor; that will be all."

To: Elena Lincoln  
From: Christian Grey  
Subject: Meeting

Elena,  
I am confident that after tonight's meeting both parties are in agreement with the contract moving forward. I would like to review the background report before signing the contract. If both parties are still in agreement with moving forward, I would like to request our next meeting occur at the Coping Together Gala this Saturday night. I will contact you later this week to confirm the arrangements.  
Christian Grey  
CEO Grey Enterprise Holdings.

I reworded the email several times to Elena trying to sound vague without disclosing the information about the contract or what services I'm discussing with Elena. Going forward I will have to find a better way to communicate with Elena regarding this arrangement. I think it will end up being best if we have these discussions over the phone rather than leaving something in writing. I contemplate requesting Barney provide me with another email address that I would only use for communicating with Elena however I still worry about it being tied to GEH. Above all, I will protect GEH and would rather suffer with the press destroying my personal life than risk doing something that would ruin everything I have done to build GEH from the ground up.

A few minutes later my email dings indicating I have a new email, I'm tempted to ignore it and instead focus on the financial spreadsheet that was sent to me just before I left to meet Ana but instead I open my email and see that I have an email from Elena.

To: Christian Grey  
From: Elena Lincoln  
Subject: Re: meeting

Christian,  
I am pleased to hear that your meeting tonight was successful. I will have the file couriered to your office first thing tomorrow morning. If the other party is in agreement, I will include a draft contract for your review. The effective date of the contract will be Saturday.  
Elena Lincoln  
CEO, Lincoln Consulting Firm

I hadn't expected such a quick response from Elena but I'm pleased to see that I'm not the only one who works late hours. Sleep doesn't come easy, which is nothing new and the next morning finds me running past the bakery once again with Taylor. I know I can easily walk in and say something to Ana especially after our dinner last night, but of course we job past the window as we do every morning. When I arrive at GEH, I find the courier has already delivered Ana's background check and a draft contract as promised by Elena. I pleased that the draft contract was in there as it means that Ana has decided to move forward with our arrangement as well. Although I thought last night was a success I couldn't help but worry that if she would change her mind after she read the shit the tabloids wrote about me. As soon as I suggested she google me I immediately regretted the words, but since she knew nothing about me personally or professionally, google seemed like the best way for her to access the information quickly.

Later that night, when I finally have a few minutes of down time I open the file containing the background check that Elena sent me:

Full Name: Anastasia Steele

Age: 25

Occupation: Personal shopper/Bakery assistant

Bank Account Balance: Checking account: $127.93  
Savings Account: $53.54

Education: High school graduate, general college credits

Current city of residence: Seattle

Political affiliations: none

Religious affiliations: Catholic, not a member of a church currently

Driver's license: No; previous license from New York State expired

Assets: None

Marital Status: Single, never married

Mother: Carla Jones _(Smith) deceased_

Father: Unknown

There's isn't much more to her background check exempt a list of previous employers which include a coffee shop, a restaurant and a bank. A brief medical summary was included indicating that there have been no major medical issues in her life. She was in a passenger in a car accident once and then fell down a flight of stairs requiring an emergency room visit but nothing suspicious.

I review the draft contract next; it's similar to the one that Elena presented me when she first discussed this arrangement with me. This contract has been drafted with my name and Ana's, with an effective date of this Saturday for the gala as Elena indicated it would be. The contract is pretty straight forward: all arrangements must be made through Elena, contact between parties cannot occur outside of prescheduled dates and times, physical contact is limited to very basic touching, there is no set number of dates/events and either party can terminate the contract at any time. The last part makes me a little nervous, I need this contract to remain in effect for at least several months so the media gets the idea that Ana and I are a couple and they get off my ass about my personal life. What happens if Ana cancels the contract after only a couple of dates? I will be in the same situation I'm in now only the media will probably rip me a new one for only being able to keep a woman for a short period of time. As I down my glass of scotch, I decide to sign the contract even with the risk of this backfiring. Weighing the pros and cons of the situation, if Ana decides to end the contract quickly the PR department will just have to find a way to put a positive spin on it so I don't look like an even bigger ass in the media. The risk of not doing something, letting my integrity be further destroyed is too big of a risk. If things go well after a few dates with Ana I will find a way to insure that she realizes that staying in the contract is in her best interest.

 **APOV:**

"Elena, it's Ana; I'm returning your call from earlier. I apologize but I was working at the bakery this morning-"

"Of course, I apologize for calling you this morning. I've made a note in your file to only call in the afternoon; hopefully I'll remember that."

"It's fine Elena, really."

"I'm calling to confirm the details for the Coping Together Gala tomorrow night. I understand you have already obtained your dress and accessories for the event."

"Yes, I have everything."

"You have an appointment at the salon tomorrow at one, again the expense will be charged to my account so there will be nothing for you to take care of while you're there. A car service will be outside of you apartment-"

"Wait, I thought we were meeting at your office?"

"You are meeting Mr. Grey here Ana. The car service is from me, not Mr. Grey. I don't see it being feasible for you to take two buses to get to my office in a ball gown Ana. It doesn't seem practical therefore I have arranged a car service to bring you to my office. The same car service will meet you here after the gala to bring you home. I will not be here as I will be getting ready to attend the gala as well, however my security team will meet you and Mr. Grey in the lobby before and after the event. Mr. Grey's driver will transport you and Mr. Grey to the Gala and back to my office. Did you receive my email yesterday?"

"Yes, I've reviewed the information you included about Mr. Grey and where he stands on various topics."

"You don't have to agree with any of his beliefs or stances, however what is key is that you do not verbally disagree with those while at an event. If they start talking about something you disagree with, either keep it to yourself or excuse yourself to use the ladies room."

"I understand Elena."

"The back story should anyone ask is that you and Mr. Grey met at a coffee shop a couple of months ago and have maintained contact with each other since."

"Okay."

"Oh and Ana, Mr. Grey's parents are hosting the event so his family will be in attendance. They are unaware of this arrangement."

"Of course."

"Good luck Ana, try to enjoy yourself. I will be there if you need me but otherwise I will not act as if we know each other."

"Thank you Elena."

 _Author's Note: Sorry for the double post of the last chapter. I reread it and fixed a few grammar errors without realizing it would reload the chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, a little about Ana was shared. The next chapter will be the Gala and a little more information about Christian._


	12. Chapter 11

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 11 APOV:**

 **Trigger warning**

 _"You're a fucking bitch! You can't do anything right, can you?" he screams at me._

 _"I'm….I'm sorry," I cry as he grabs my hair in his hand and pulls it hard so I fall onto the floor._

 _"I ask you for one fucking thing! One thing! Is it too much to ask for a hot meal to be on the fucking table when I get home? I work all day to keep a roof over your fucking head, to keep food on the table and what do I fucking get in return? A fucking cold dinner?"_

 _SLAP_

 **End trigger warning**

I wake up covered in sweat, my heart beating erratically as I frantically look around the room expecting _him_ to be standing there. When my brain finally catches up to reality, my breathing finally begins to slow down as I realize _he_ isn't here and can no longer hurt me. I haven't had a nightmare in a couple of weeks; they seem to come at random times and always without warning. Tonight's nightmare was more of a flashback, as most of them are. It was the night he hit me for the first time. I remember every detail of that day as if it were yesterday. He left that morning requesting I have dinner ready when he gets home, as was the request every day before he went to work. He told me that day he would be home by 6:30 and that he expected dinner to be on the table when he walked through the door. I did just that; I had dinner hot and on the table by 6:25 incase he was early. He didn't come up home until after eight that night and then was mad because dinner was cold. His screaming and yelling at me was nothing new, it had started a couple months but that night he slapped me for the first time. I still remember being in such shock that he hit me.

I shake my head, trying desperately to rid myself of those memories. I desperately need to focus on today and not on the past; I can't spend my day thinking about _him_ or I won't be ready for tonight. I wish I could change the decisions I made back then, but it's too late now and I just need to focus on moving forward. Tonight is my chance at changing my life; I need tonight to go perfect. Elena sent me over Mr. Grey's schedule of events for the next two weeks that he has requested my attendance at. Even though he has requested my attendance at those events, I believe it is under the premise that tonight goes on without a hitch. I need tonight to be absolutely perfect; the last thing I need is my shitty past distracting me. I need to be at the top of my game tonight, I need everything to be perfect. If tonight is perfect than I can quit working at the store and begin saving money so I can get out of this crappy apartment and into a safer neighborhood. Since meeting Mr. Grey earlier in the week, I've found myself starting to consider a future beyond this apartment. I even looked into taking a few online classes from the local community college but I haven't decided what I want to work towards yet.

 _Stop getting ahead of yourself Ana._

I mentally criticize myself; I need to just focus on today. If I get my hopes up about the future something will happen and my plans will be ruined leaving me nothing but disappointed again. It's nearly five in the morning and although I would rather still be asleep, I know it's highly unlikely that I will be able to fall back asleep after that nightmare. Whenever they hit, if I try to go back to sleep I typically end up right back in the nightmare. I learned years ago it was better to just stay away than try to fight it and go back to sleep. It's funny, I can't recall a time in my life when nightmares weren't an issue. Maybe when I was really little….it's hard to remember when they started but I know they were there even before _he_ came along. After _him_ , the nightmares were there only now nightmares fall into one of two categories before or after _him._

Since I'm up long before most of the building will be, I take advantage of the unlimited hot water that can only be found very early in the morning. Although there are mornings I'm up almost this early, usually it's only because I'm rushing to the bakery so I don't get a chance to take a long shower. Today though I'm in no hurry; I let the hot water cascade over my body drowning away the memories from the past. I'm nervous about tonight but I'm also confident in my ability to fit in. I went to the library earlier this week after Elena confirmed that Mr. Grey had decided to move forward with our arrangement. I googled him and as he mentioned I would, I found many business articles written about him and GEH. I was floored when I learned that he is considered Seattle's most eligible bachelor and even more so when I learned that he was also a billionaire despite being only a few years older than me. I assumed he had money, I doubted many people could afford Elena's prices but I had no idea he had that much money. The business articles written about him were all very complimentary and from what I read everything about his business seems legit.

In addition to the links to hundreds of business articles, I found nearly as many links to tabloids that had written stories about Mr. Grey. Nearly every article tried to connect his business life with his personal life. A few speculated that if he continues to be unable to maintain a relationship with a woman that his company will likely go under in the near future. Despite reading all of the articles I still can't figure out how the reporters are making the connection between his dating life and his business decisions. What I did find interesting is that up until two years there weren't any negative tabloid stories published about Mr. Grey. He was pictured in several articles with a beautiful blond on his arm; some referenced the woman as his girlfriend while others called her his fiancé. Then about two years ago she is no longer in pictures with Mr. Grey and that's when the negativity started.

My phone dings alerting me to a message. I've set alerts on my phone when something new is written about Mr. Grey; I don't want to get caught off guard if something big happens that I should know about. So far in the last few days nothing has been published other than a business article highlighting a deal he recently closed on. Today's link sends me to a tabloid site that I've come to think one who is out to destroy Mr. Grey or GEH based upon the crap that they write.

 _"Who will Mr. Grey bring to the gala tonight? Another nameless woman who will leave him after tonight? Or will he attend the event solo, yet again? What is Mr. Grey hiding and how is it related to GEH?"_

Although I've only met Mr. Grey twice now, it doesn't really seem like he is trying to hide something. Since I'm not exactly a detective I guess he could be hiding something and I wouldn't know. Everything I read online about Mr. Grey and GEH plus the information that Elena provided me suggests that there is nothing illegal occurring.

As the day progresses, I find myself growing more and more nervous about the gala tonight. After reading everything I could about Mr. Grey and GEH I researched tonight's event. I didn't want to show up and have no idea what the gala was raising money for. I learned that Coping Together is an agency that provides services to parents with drug addictions while providing counseling services to their children and spouses at the same time. It's one of the rare agencies that treat the entire family as opposed to only the individual with the addiction. I learn that Mr. Grey's parents have been hosting fundraising events for Coping Together for last ten years which is when it was started. Tonight's event is an annual fundraiser that typically raises more than a quarter of a million dollars for Coping Together. I learn that there will probably be roughly 200 guests in attendance tonight, everyone from politicians to successful business men who will make large donations to support Coping Together.

I spend the afternoon at the salon, my hair is trimmed and highlighted before placed into a half up half down style which Elena recommended to compliment by gown. After my hair is done, I have a manicure and pedicure plus get my eye brows waxed before my make-up is applied. I've never attended an event of this magnitude and I'm very grateful that Elena scheduled all of this for me today. Business dinners, dates and small events I can handle but something this large I don't think I would be able to get myself ready for alone. By the time I leave the salon, even I'm shocked at the woman I see before me. I look elegant, sophisticated and somehow the salon made me look like I should be attending an event where people in attendance easily earn in a month what I earn in a year. I decide to splurge and take a cab back to my apartment rather than the two buses it would take to get back there. Although it cost an arm and leg to go this far, it's worth it as to not mess up my make up or hair while on a bus.

When I finally reach my apartment, I have less than thirty minutes to get changed before the car service Elena organized is scheduled to pick me up. I take my gown out of the garment bag and place it on my bed before getting out the undergarments and other accessories needed for tonight. The gown black with sequence sewn in; it has a halter top neck which leaves the back open. The front has an opening around my chest which shows off the slightest amount of cleavage; the dress is form fitting on the top but loosens at my hips so it falls to the floor. I fell in love with the gown the moment I tried it on but had sent a picture to Elena just to make sure it was appropriate for the event even though the sales woman working with me insisted it would be fine. Elena of course confirmed the dress was perfect and insisted I needed to wear it for tonight.

I still don't understand why Elena felt I needed to purchase all new undergarments for tonight; it's not like Mr. Grey will be seeing any of them. Elena said something about it would make me feel sexier and therefore more confident; I agreed to appease her once again grateful that I'm not the one having to pay for all of this. I didn't catch the price on the gown, but I know the bra and panties cost a few hundred dollars together. Then there were stockings, shoes and jewelry that were added in with the gown to complete the outfit for tonight. It's funny, I've been dressing women for events just like this for the last year and a half but never once considered how much really goes into the outfits or the price of everything.

By the time I am strapping my shoes on, the alarm on my phone indicates that it's time for me to leave. I grab the silver clutch and wrap before peeking out the window to confirm the car service has arrived. It's not hard to determine which car outside is for me; in front of my building sits a sleek, obviously fairly new black sedan with a man dressed in a suit standing in front of it. Every other car on this street is painted different colors, has large dents or scratches on it and a few even have the windshields cracked. This car obviously stands out and doesn't belong in this type of area, so it's pretty safe to say the car is for me. I glance at the bathroom mirror one last time, making sure that everything is perfect before I lock my door and head downstairs.

"Ms. Steele?" the gentleman at the car greets me as soon as I step outside.

"Yes," I confirm.

"I am here to take you Lincoln Consulting," he opens the door and I immediately slide across the leather seats.

"There's water bottles in the cooler at your feet if you're thirsty."

The ride to Elena's office doesn't take long but as we approach I can't help but get more nervous as each minute passes. So much rests on tonight; whether Mr. Grey knows it or not he holds the key to my future. If everything goes well tonight and Mr. Grey still wants to move forward with this arrangement I will finally have extra money to change all the things in my life I've wanted to change. If tonight doesn't work out and Mr. Grey decides I am not the type of woman he needs for this type of an arrangement I don't think I will move forward in working with Elena.

"Ms. Steele, we have arrived," the driver pulls me from my thoughts before I've even realized the car has stopped. "Take the elevator in the lobby to the fourteenth floor where you party will be waiting for you."

The lobby of the building is simple but elegant; a security guard at the desk nods in my direction but doesn't question why I am there or who I'm meeting. There's no one else in the lobby; I don't know if Mr. Grey is waiting for me upstairs or if it will just be Elena's security team that she mentioned would be here. The elevator ride is slow; my hands play with my clutch as I slowly watch the numbers turn red as the elevator rises. When the bell dings my nerves hit an all time high; I take a deep breath before stepping out of the elevator.

"Ms. Steele, you look absolutely stunning," Mr. Grey greets me the moment I step off the elevator.

"Thank you Mr. Grey, you look very nice as well." Mr. Grey is wearing what I suspect is a black tailored Armani tux complimented with a grey tie; nice is probably the worst word to describe how he looks tonight but my brain wasn't able to process anything except nice and hot and sexy. I figured nice was the safest option…

"Please, call me Christian."

"Only if you call me Ana."

"Agreed. Are you ready to head to the gala? It's a little bit of a drive in this traffic I'm afraid but we should arrive just on time."

We ride the elevator to the parking garage in complete silence but it's not an uncomfortable silence thankfully. When the elevator doors open in the underground parking garage, Taylor is waiting for us and escorts us to a large, black pristine SUV that looks like it was just driven off the dealer lot. Taylor opens the door for me as Christian walks around and gets in the other side.

"Do you have any questions about tonight Ana?" Christian asks.

"I have reviewed all of the information that Elena sent me; I'm confident that I can recall where you stand on the issues she shared. I also spent sometime this week researching your company and the information published on your most recent projects. "

"You've been busy."

"I wanted to be prepared."

"I assume you saw the tabloid articles?"

"I did. I have to say I struggle to see how people are connecting your personal life to GEH's success."

"I can't either. Frankly if I wasn't concerned about how my employees and people I'm currently doing business with I would say fuck it and not even do anything to address the articles written. However when a magazine was found in one of our staff lounges open to the article questioning my ability to manage hundreds of employees I knew I needed to do something and fast. I have too much riding at stake to let a few arrogant reporters destroy my life. This," he gestures between us, "is a very small price to pay if it means the nonsense disappears and I can focus entirely on GEH."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"I understand why you are doing this from a business perspective, but Elena had mentioned your family would be in attendance tonight and that they are unaware of our arrangement…."

"And you're wondering why I haven't told them about this?"

"If it's too personal you don't have to tell me-"

"It's not that. Honestly, it was never an option to tell them about this as far as I'm concerned. If I'm going to fabricate a lie that I need hundreds of people to believe, as far as I'm concerned the less people who know the better. For the most part the press has left my family alone, but there have been times when they have approached them about my personal life. If they believe the same lie that everyone else believes there is no chance for them to let something accidently slip."

"I understand, that makes sense."

"Besides, it gets my brother off my ass," he chuckles. "My brother loves to torment me and the fact that the press is giving him ammunition is just pissing me off."

"I could see why," I giggle.

We arrive at the gala few minutes later; I'm surprised at how fast the drive went, the time really seemed to fly by once we started talking. I'm also relieved that for the most part my nerves have calmed; I'm still a little nervous as we pull around the long circular driveway but I'm less anxious than I was on the drive to Elena's office.

"We're going to get out my door; there will be press there taking our picture as we walk in but once we are inside no press is permitted. Of course we have to worry about people taking pictures on their cell phones and selling them to tabloids…"

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," I try to assure him.

"Here we go," he takes a deep breath the moment the door opens.

He slides across the seat before stepping out of the car; I follow taking his offered hand to help me out of the car. Immediately we are bombarded by the press as Christian is instantly recognized; cameras are flashing everywhere and I'm momentarily frozen on the spot as I try to take everything in.

"You okay?" Christian whispers in my ear as he wraps an arm around my waist.

"I'm fine," I take a deep breath as Christian leads me through the crowd. We stop a couple of times for pictures; Christian's arm remains around my waist as we stand next to each other for the press. What surprises me is that it doesn't feel uncomfortable to have his arm around me; I kind of expected it to since we are practically strangers having only really met twice before this. After a few minutes, he leads me to a tented area where he nods to the security team at the entrance before we are permitted to enter.

"Wow," I gasp taking in the view in front of me. Even though I had seen a few pictures from the previous events, nothing compared to seeing the area that had been transformed in front of me. There are several tents set up on the grass with candle lit tables under them; off in the distance a lighted fountain sprays water from the Sound.

"My parents go all out for this every year," Christian looks around almost as if he is seeing it all for the first time.

"It's beautiful."

"Mr. Grey! It's so nice to see you again," a gentleman in a tux approaches us.

"Mr. Jacobson, I'd like to introduce you to my date Ms. Anastasia Steele."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Mr. Jacobson offers his hand.

"It's nice to meet you as well. I understand you are doing some amazing things at the university…"

"Yes….yes I am," he is clearly surprised that I am aware of who he is. "Without GEH's generous support we would not be able to fund our projects, one of which is up for an award this year."

"Yes I read about that one. Your department patented a way to transform dirty water into drinkable water without electricity, right?"

"Yes! We have a pilot program that GEH has funded which has allowed us to send a couple to third world countries which we have received very positive feedback from. If we win the award we are planning to use the proceeds to send out many more and eventually publish our findings."

"I believe we have a meeting in a few weeks to review the data collected so far if I'm not mistaken," Christian speaks up.

"Yes Mr. Grey, you will be meeting with our research team in two weeks. They are eager to present you with our findings so far."

"Wonderful, I look forward to it. Now if you will excuse us, I see someone who is trying to get my attention."

"Of course. It was good to see you again Mr. Grey and to meet you Ms. Steele."

For the next two hours we mingle, well mostly Christian mingles and I trail along every so often contributing to a conversation when something comes up. Most of the discussions surround politics but those that don't are focused on projects GEH is currently working on, none of which are public knowledge yet so they weren't included in any of the reading material I found online. I don't mind though; I'm learning more than I thought I would about the key political forces in Seattle and about what an incredibly long process it is to acquire a company by GEH. I had no idea how much went into researching the company and reviewing their finances multiple times.

"Ladies and Gentleman, if you would please take your seats dinner is about to be served," the DJ announces.

"Please excuse us," Christian tells the person he was talking to; I had to admit that I've already forgotten their name.

"You're doing great," he whispers so no one else can hear as he leads me to the table we were placed at.

"Thank you."

"Christian!" a young woman jumps from the table we are approaching and runs towards Christian embracing him in a hug. His arm drops from my waist so he can catch her; he twirls her around in a circle before placing her back on the floor in front of us.

"Mia, I would like you to meet Anastasia Steele. Ana, this is my younger sister Mia," Christian introduces.

"It's nice to meet you Mia."

"I love your dress! It's absolutely stunning! You'll have to tell me where you got it from!"

I immediately feel at ease with Mia, she is probably the easiest going person I've ever spoken to. Once we are at the table, I am introduced to Christian's parents, his brother and his date, Mia's date and Christian's grandparents. I desperately try to calm my nerves as I sit across from Christian's parents truly hoping I don't do anything to screw this up. I think I'm more worried that is parents will see right through our charade than I am about the press or Christian's colleagues.

"So Ana, what is it you do?" Christian's dad asks me.

"I am currently working at Sweet Dreams Bakery over on-"

"I love that place! They make best muffins; I absolutely love the apple cinnamon ones," his mother cuts me off.

"Well, thank you. I actually make most of the muffins and breads each morning."

"You do? Wow they are so good!"

"The owner developed each recipe on her own; she has owned the shop for the last twenty years. It's a shame that someone else is going to take it over-"

"What do you mean take it over?" Christian asks.

"Ginny, the owner, is retiring so she has put the business up for sale. She suspects a chain place will likely purchase it but she isn't sure yet."

"I hope it's not that donut place that is around the corner from the bakery. They're donuts taste like they are days old."

"Chances are they are a few days old. Most places will make large batches in advance and sale them over the next few days. Ginny insists that we make everything fresh every day; anything that doesn't sale by the end of the day is donated to a soup kitchen."

"Good for her," Christian's dad smiles.

As dinner is served I feel much more comfortable around Christian's family than when we first sat down. They are all very easy to talk to; the conversation flows easily around the table as we eat. I learn that Christian and his brother, who owns a construction company, are teaming up on a project to revitalize a large building downtown for one of Christian's companies that has outgrown the space they are in now. His date is very quiet and barely says a word throughout the course of dinner; she looks like she feels very uncomfortable and out of place. Mia's date on the other hand is very talkative and has engaged Christian's dad in a debate about a recent decision about a game. Mia and Christian's mom discuss everything that went into planning tonight's gala and already seem to be making notes of things they want to change for next year.

"Ana, would you be able to help with the first dance auction? One of the girls that was supposed to help me….well let's just say she had too much wine before dinner and needed to be taken home," Mia asks.

"Oh no. Of course, I'll help out," I agree not really sure what I'm agreeing to but I figure how bad can it be?

"Wonderful! Thank you!" she beams.

"You didn't have to help out," Christian whispers.

"I know its fine I don't mind."

"Ladies and Gentleman, it's time for the annual first date auction! If the ladies helping with the auction could please make their way to the stage in the couple of minutes we will get the auction started. Gentleman get your wallets and checkbooks ready!"

"Come on Ana!" Mia grasps my hand and pulls me up before the DJ even finishes his announcement.

"Thank you," Christian mouths to me as I'm being pulled away.

"So what do we have to do Mia?" I ask as we wait off to the side of the small stage.

"Nothing really. When the DJ announces your name you walk onto the stage while he tells the audience about your wonderful qualities-"

"What qualities?"

"Oh you'll see," she giggles. "He makes up stuff about each one of us….you know languages spoken, our careers and so on. Then he opens the bidding until the highest bidder is announced-"

"Wait, so they're bidding on us?"

"Well, not on you silly. They're bidding on dancing with you for the first dance. The winner donates his bid to Coping Together and in return you dance with him for the first dance. This is our biggest fund raiser of the evening."

"Really?"

"Yup, you would be surprised how much money men would be willing to spend to dance with their date or someone that they've had an eye on."

I can't help but feel some regret that I agreed to help Mia with this auction; how will it look if someone takes a picture of me, Christian's date, dancing with another man tonight? I could easily see this backfiring on him if the press were to get ahold of pictures from the auction; the press would rip him apart even more than they already are I'm sure.

"Don't look so worried; Christian will win the auction for you," Mia tries to reassure me obviously picking up on my nervousness.

"I hope so," I say more to myself than to her.

"I know so. Trust me, I know Christian; there's no way he would let another man dance with you. Christian may have brought other women to these things in the past, but you're the only one he hasn't been able to keep his eyes off of."

"I'm sure that's not true," I disagree.

"We're going to start our auction off tonight with the beautiful Ms. Mia Grey…." I stop listening to what the DJ is making up about Mia as she walks onto the stage as my nerves kick in full force. I can't see Christian from where I'm standing near the stage although even if I could see him I don't know that it would help me feel better at all. I'll have to hope that Mia is right, that he will ensure he wins the auction for my first dance so there won't be a controversy in the press tomorrow if someone sells pictures of me with another guy.

"And the winning bid is eleven thousand dollars!" the DJ announces as Mia comes off the stage pouting.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Next up is the lovely Ms. Anastasia Steele," the DJ calls me before I can find out from Mia why she looked upset. "Anastasia is a world renowned architect, having designed some of the most famous sites around the world. She enjoys ballet, the opera and Broadway shows…."

I slowly walk across the stage as the DJ continues to ramble useless false information about me before opening the bidding up to the guests.

"Five hundred dollars," a voice I don't recognize calls out.

"Two thousand," someone else calls out.

"Three thousand".

"Five thousand," I can't see Christian but I know that was his bid.

"Six thousand."

"Seven thousand," someone counters and I cringe at the high price this is running. I really just want to cancel the entire auction and run off the stage, forgetting that I ever agreed to help Mia out. Had I known this would be the result I never would have agreed to help her with the auction. I thought I would be helping count bids or helping to show auction items, having no idea that _I_ was actually an auction item.

"Fifteen thousand," Christian's voice is loud and firm, almost as if he is daring someone to outbid him.

"Fifteen thousand, going once….going twice….Sold to Mr. Grey….next up we have Ms. Lilly Brown…" The DJ presents the next girl for the auction as I make my way off the stage where Christian is now waiting for me.

"I'm so sorry! I had no idea….this was not what I was expecting and I didn't-"

"What are you apologizing for? I don't think I've ever had so much fun bidding on an auction here before," Christian chuckles.

"Really? I…I thought you would be mad for being put on the spot to bid on me. I was worried that someone else would outbid you and then pictures would be taken and leaked to the press which would-"

"Ana, relax," he takes my hand and leads me off to the side of one of the large tents where we away from most of the guests but can still hear the DJ. "Elliot and I bid every year on the auction, so I was already planning on making a donation through the first dance auction."

"You were?"

"Yes, Elliot and I always outbid whatever loser Mia brings to these things. We ensure that the first dance belongs to once of us, it's been our tradition since she was old enough to participate in the auction. At first it was because she was barely a teenager and thought of a grown man who wasn't family dancing with her was sickening…"

"And now?"

"Now it's just to annoy her. We promise her every year that we won't outbid her date and every year we do. This year Elliot won the bid and will be dancing with her. You see, even if you hadn't participated in the auction I would have probably would have outbid Elliot for Mia and made a donation that way."

"I had no idea that was what Mia meant when she asked me to help her with the auction."

"I know you didn't. I wanted to warn you before the auction started but I couldn't get away from my grandfather insisting on talking about business."

"I'm glad it's over."

"Ladies and Gentleman it's time for the annual first dance. Gentleman please claim your prize and bring her to the dance floor for our first dance of the evening."

"Well, that's our cue," he offers his arm and escorts me onto the dance floor. He leads us to the center of the dance floor and soon we are surrounded by eleven other couples; out of the corner of my eye I see Mia with Elliot still pouting as I'm sure she would much rather be dancing with her date.

"I hate to bring this up, but I need you to not touch my back or my chest," Christian whispers just as the music starts.

"O….okay," I agree without understanding why he would make such a request.

My hand is on Christian's shoulder and his hand is on my lower back, our other hands are clasped together. Once the music starts he gracefully moves me across the dance floor in perfect harmony to the music. I'm very surprised at what a wonderful dancer he is; definitely not something I expected. When the music finally stops, he leans down and places the lightest kiss on my cheek before thanking me and leading me off the dance floor.

The rest of the night went well, we mingled with other guests and of course Christian talked a lot of business. At the end of the evening we said goodbye to Christian's family before meeting being escorted to our awaiting car by Taylor. When we finally slide into the car, I let out a heavy sigh glad that the night was over and that for the most part I think it was success.

"Thank you for tonight Ana. I wasn't sure what to expect but you…..I think tonight was a success."

 _Author's Note: Wow that was the longest chapter I think I've written for any of my stories in months! I originally planned to break the gala up between two chapters but the more I thought about it, I couldn't find a place to split it. I hope you all enjoyed the gala! For those who are asking if you will learn more about the guy from the prologue, the answer is yes. I'm not going to say when, where or how but_ _ **he**_ _will make an appearance in this story. You will also learn Christian's back story and more about Ana._


	13. Chapter 12

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: I'm struggling with the next chapter of my other story, so I needed to step away for a little while which means you guys get another chapter of this story. Hopefully the next chapter of complications will be out soon; I had the entire chapter written only to delete it because I wasn't happy with it._

 **Chpt. 12 CPOV:**

 _"Playboy Christian Grey brings yet another woman to an event breaking his two month stance on not being photographed with a woman. Christian Grey brought a stunning woman to the Coping Together Gala last Saturday evening, reportedly bidding $15k to win the first dance auction with her. Such a shame as we know we won't be seeing her again with Christian Grey."_

A picture of Ana and myself arriving at my parent's house for the gala is shown as I knew it would be; for some reason the gossip sites love to report any move I make in my personal life. Every day this week I have been checking the sites looking for reports and pictures from the gala; it took them three days to get one up which was longer than I expected. However, this is the first step in my own PR campaign to change how the media views me. I have plans to take Ana out in public weekly, hoping that the press will see us on at least a few of those occasions. Hopefully in a couple of weeks this can all be behind me and I can move on with my life. With the press of my case I will be able to focus on GEH like I need to be doing without worrying that my employees are questioning my ability. After a few weeks of being seen with Ana, I will maintain a contract with her but will likely only request her company for large events when it's expected I bring a guest.

Looking at the picture on the site, I have to admit that I'm surprised we managed to pull it off as well as we did. Ana was absolutely outstanding in her performance; she shocked me to hell when she started discussing farming initiatives with the president of the university. It was clear in that moment that she did her homework before that night which reinforced to me that she was taking this contract seriously. I haven't figured Ana out yet….usually I get a good read on people fairly quickly, but for some reason with Ana I'm having a harder time. I figured women who did this sort of thing were only after money, which I suppose is true in Ana's case. She was honest when we first met to discuss the contract that she needed the money, but I guess what surprised me was the reason she needed money. I guess I just assumed women would want the money to purchase material items: a bigger house, a new car, new clothes…that sort of thing.

"You made the sites again I see Grey," Roz interrupts my thoughts by barging into my office.

"I just saw that. Damn fucking vultures can't leave me the hell alone."

"The president of the shipping company is demanding a meeting with you tonight over dinner and drinks-"

"Tonight? What the fuck Roz?!"

"I know…They're insisting they need a meeting with you tonight before they are willing to sign off on the contract."

"What's their sticking point?"

"Their employees."

"We've guaranteed them that everyone's job will be sustained for six months and if at that time their jobs are terminated a severance package will be offered. What's the issue?"

"I don't know. I think they're afraid we're going to go back on our word."

"It's in the fucking contract!"

"I know it is Grey, I reviewed the contract with them but I think they are still concerned. They want to meet with tonight, dinner and drinks. Honestly Grey, I think he just wants to hear it from you that his employees jobs are safe."

"Fine…whatever, work with Andrea to rearrange my schedule. I expect you to be there Roz, if he is taking away my Friday night, you're losing yours."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

"Oh and Grey, he's bringing his wife. If you could bring someone it might make you appear a little more trustworthy."

"A fucking date will make me appear more trustworthy?"

"Just saying Grey."

"Fine, whatever. You bring Gwen and I'll bring a date."

"Later Grey."

These are the fucking things about business I hate; why would bringing a date to a business dinner make me look more trustworthy? The fucking details are in the contract about his employees, but now I have to spend my Friday night at a boring dinner ironing out the contract details because he doesn't trust me. The dinner better end early, I desperately need to hit the club tonight and don't want to postpone it until tomorrow.

"Good afternoon Lincoln Consulting, how may I help you?" a voice answers the phone on the second ring.

"This is Christian Grey, I need to speak with Elena urgently"

"One moment."

Even though the chance of being seen by press tonight is minimal, for my PR plan to work I need Ana to be available tonight. I can't go alone if Roz and the other person are bringing dates. I can't bring another woman or it defeats my purpose of contracting with Ana in the first place.

"Hello Christian," Elena picks up the line a few moments later.

"Elena, I need you to contact Ana immediately."

"Is something wrong Christian? When I spoke to her the other day she indicated the gala went well but if that wasn't the case-"

"The gala was fine. I need her tonight. I know it's short notice and I'll pay an additional fee for her inconvenience but it's absolutely imperative that she accompany me to a business dinner tonight."

"What time will you need her to meet you?"

"I need her to meet me at GEH at five; dinner is at 5:30 nearby."

"I'll contact her right now Christian and will call you back once I get off the phone with her."

"Good."

I wait, and wait, for Elena to call me back with Ana's decision on whether or not she can attend dinner with me tonight. I don't do well with waiting or with things out of my control; if it were up to me I would have contacted Ana directly and offered her whatever she needed in order to agree to accompany me tonight. I get that I'm not supposed to be able to contact Ana directly so we both have some privacy, but it would have made things so much easier if I could have just picked up the phone and told her what I needed from her tonight. I'm not used to letting someone else take control in my life; I don't do well following orders from someone else which is why I started my own company.

An hour goes by before I hear from Elena and I start to panic. How long does it take to fucking call someone and see if she is available tonight? What if she wasn't available to talk to Elena? How much longer do I wait before trying to come up with another plan for tonight? My only other option is to go to the dinner alone and if someone asks I make an excuse about Ana not feeling well. That could work…

"Grey," I answer my cell phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Christian it's Elena-"

"It's about time."

"I'm sorry Christian, Ana needed to see if she could rearrange something before she could commit to dinner tonight-"

"Rearrange? She didn't have another date did she? Because I specifically required her to sign-"

"Calm down Christian, she did not have another date. She signed the exclusivity clause which you know means I can't show her profile to anyone else."

"So, can she do it or what?"

"Yes, she is available for the evening and will meet you at your office by five."

"Good."

"Next time Christian try to give the girl a little notice if possible."

"I'll be sure to compensate her for the last minute request in the next transfer I send you."

"I'll see that she gets it."

I sit back in my chair and sigh heavily, relieved that I don't have to come up with an excuse as to why Ana is not with me this evening. Although it's unlikely the press would have found out that I was at a business dinner alone, I can't take the risk now that I'm trying to change my public image around. I need to lose the image of being a playboy who is seen with different women all the time. I need the media to think I'm boring and stable so they stop fucking questioning my business practices.

"Andrea, get me Taylor," I request.

"Yes Mr. Grey."

Moments later Taylor enters my office; as always Andrea if very efficient at what she does.

"Andrea has informed you of the dinner tonight?" I confirm.

"Yes sir."

"Ms. Steele will be accompanying me tonight and will arrive here around five. Please meet her in the lobby and escort her to my office when she arrives."

"Yes, of course sir."

"When we are finished with dinner tonight, I want a cab to take her home."

"Yes sir, I'll be sure to have one ready before you leave."

"That will be all."

I dive into my latest financial reports finally able to focus on work again now that the issue of dinner tonight is resolved. It really is a waste of time to have dedicated the last 90 minutes to worrying about a business dinner but I have to remain focused on my goal of turning around my public image and one slip up could ruin everything. Back on track now, I spend the rest of the afternoon diving into numbers and spreadsheets reviewing the performance of several companies that GEH recently acquired. After an acquisition the first six months of financial reporting is absolutely key; after those six months I make a decision whether I will be continuing to support the company by keeping them under GEH's umbrella or if I need to break apart the company and sell it off. As usual, I'm easily lost in my work and remain so until Andrea alerts me that Taylor is here. I tell her to send him in expecting him to need to discuss plans for the weekend or for dinner tonight.

"Mr. Grey-"

"One moment Taylor," I interrupt needing to spend just another minute reviewing this one line to ensure the calculations are correct. If I stop now I will probably lose my place and it took me hours to find the one line where there appears to be an error.

"Yes Taylor?"

"Ms. Steele sir," I finally look up and realize that not only has Taylor been standing there waiting for me to finish looking at my report but that Ana has standing there as well.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't realized the time. Thank you Taylor."

"The car will be ready in ten minutes sir."

"Ana, thank you for agreeing to tonight especially with the incredibly late notice."

"It's not a problem Christian."

"I understand you had to rearrange your schedule, I hope Elena let you know that you will be compensated for your troubles."

"Really Christian, it's fine."

"You look very nice, Ana."

Nice is probably the least descriptive word that I could have come up with to describe how she looked; however the only other words that came to mind to describe her look were not appropriate to share with someone that I'm conducting a business relationship with. Ana is wearing a black fitted skirt that falls to just above her knee, a light blue button down fitted shirt lays under a black blazer. Her long legs are accentuated by a pair of black heels; my mind immediately pictures her bent over my desk with the skirt pushed up to her waist as I thrust into her.

"Thank you Christian," she thankfully pulls me from my thoughts which I'm grateful for seeing that if I kept picturing her like that she would be able to tell what I was thinking if she looked down in a few minutes. God, I really need to get to the club tonight…I can't keep picturing her like that; this is nothing but a business transaction. She would never be interested in anything more with me and I'm not interested in anything more than a hard fuck with a woman something I know Ana is too good for. She needs someone who would trust her and I've learned the hard way hell is going to freeze over before I trust another woman like that ever again. I need to think of this as I would any acquisition that GEH goes through; this is about improving my image, nothing more.

"Please have a seat," I gesture to the small couch against the windows in my office and sit in the chair across from her.

"You have an amazing building here; the lobby was stunning."

"Thank you. We've been in this building or about five years now, before we moved in I had my brother completely remodel it to fit the image I wanted. It was the first project I hired him for."

"He did a wonderful job; I don't think I've ever seen anything like it."

"I'll never tell him this, but he blew my expectations out of the water on the design. It's what led to me hiring him to do several other buildings throughout the city."

"Is there anything I need to know for dinner tonight?" she glances at her watch likely realizing we only have a few minutes before we need to leave. She uncrosses her legs before crossing them again, her skirt rides up just the smallest amount and it takes everything in me not to groan. Her outfit is actually perfect for tonight, it looks very professional but could easily be more casual if she took the blazer off. The skirt isn't too short but for some reason it just the right amount of leg for her to look incredibly sexy.

"We have been working on acquiring this shipping company for the last several months now; we were ready to walk away just last week when they finally conceded to our price. The contracts are scheduled to be signed Monday however at the last minute they demanded a meeting with me, refusing to sign the contract unless I met them for dinner tonight."

"Why?"

"There's a clause in the contract that essentially states the employees of the shipping company will remain on GEH's payroll for the first six months following the acquisition. After the first six months, GEH will reevaluate and determine whether or not to continue their employment. If their employment is terminated at that time, every employee will be provided with a severance package along with a letter of recommendation."

"Sounds like a good thing?" she's obviously struggling to see why the other party hasn't signed yet.

"It is," I agree. "For some reason, Roz, my COO, thinks that they are having second thoughts and do not believe that I would hold up my end of the contract."

"But if it's in the contract aren't you obligated to follow through?"

"Yes and no. There are certain safeguards put in place where I could get out of the clause if something came up however it's a clause that is only used in dire situations. Roz thinks they just want to hear from me that their employees will have jobs. It's a family owned business that has been passed down from one generation to another, but unfortunately the current owner does not have any children to pass it along to. No one in his extended family is interested in taking it over and he is at the point where he needs to retire due to medical issues."

"It must be hard for him to let it go."

"I would imagine it is, which is probably why this acquisition has drug out longer than most. I'm hoping that tonight is the final step and these contracts can be signed on Monday."

"If you don't mind me asking….why am I needed for tonight? It sounds like a business negotiation."

"We won't technically be negotiating since all of that is done already, essentially we are meeting to reassure him that the clause in the contract stands. As for why you are here….apparently having a date will make me look more _trustworthy_ at least according to Roz. The owner is bringing his wife to dinner; I assume the idea is if I bring a date I look more like a person and less like a businessman who wants to destroy their company."

"Ah, got it."

"Sir, ma'am, we need to leave now," Taylor interrupts us.

"Thank you Taylor; do you have any other questions Ana?"

"No, I think you covered everything."

"I'll apologize in advance, this is probably going to be a very boring dinner for you."

"It won't be a problem Christian."

Taylor escorts Ana and myself to the parking garage where my SUV is waiting. The ride to the restaurant is short; I've purposely left early enough so that we are the first to arrive at the table. Over the next ten minutes Roz and Gwen arrive followed by the Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, the owners of the shipping company we are hoping to acquire. Once again, Ana seems to fit right into the group, making conversation easily with Mrs. Thompson and Gwen while Roz, Mr. Thompson and myself discuss business.

The next time I glance at my watch, I'm surprised to see that more than two hours have passed since we arrived for dinner. Ana sits comfortably next to me, discussing recipes with Mrs. Thompson. I knew Ana worked at the bakery but I had no idea how much she enjoyed baking until I watched her passionately discuss different techniques.

"And that's why Gwen does all the cooking, you see Ana I just burn everything no matter what setting I use on the stove!" Roz laughs as Ana finishes a story how one of the girls at the bakery accidently burned an entire batch of muffins one morning.

"She does Ana, you should see it. She once burnt a pot of boiling water…who does that?" Gwen laughs.

"Well, I'm sure she was just distracted-" Ana tries to defend Roz.

"Yeah, she was distracted by the game that was on TV, or by an email that her boss sent," which earns me a glare, "or by a car that drove too fast down our road or by a ringing phone….you see Ana the list just goes on and on."

"What can I say, I'm easily distracted," Roz doesn't disagree with anything Gwen said.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Bailey, you will the finalized contracts Monday morning," Mr. Thompson says a few minutes later when the table falls silent.

"Wonderful, we look forward to them," I shake his hand sealing the deal finally.

Taylor has already taken care of the bill for our meal, we quickly say our goodbyes and walk out of the restaurant. Mr. and Mrs. Thompson leave, followed next by Roz and Gwen which leaves Ana and I on the sidewalk.

"Taylor has arranged for a car to take you home, it should be arriving any minute now," I explain shooting Taylor a death glare for not having the cab ready by now. Apparently the one he called didn't show up so instead he had to call a car service. This would be so much easier if I could just have Taylor take her home, I could then be assured that she arrived safely and we wouldn't have to rely on someone else to get her home.

"Christian, it's fine I could just take the bus. There's a stop just a couple of blocks-"

"Ana, I can't let you take a bus home. This may not be an actual date, but I'm too much of a gentleman to let you do that. The car service will take you home tonight and I promise they won't tell me where they drop you off at."

"It's unnecessary but I appreciate it nonetheless."

"Thank you for this evening. Everything went smoother than I expected," I say.

"I'm sure you will be happy when you receive the signed contract on Monday."

"Sir, ma'am," Taylor gestures to the car that is slowing just in front of us.

"Thank you again Ana, especially for rearranging your schedule at the last minute to accommodate me," I lean down placing my lips against her cheek gently, I swear her breath hitches when I squeeze her hand in mine just before I pull away from her. "I believe Elena has been in touch about next week?"

"Yes, I've confirmed with her that I'm available."

"I'll see you then."

 _Author's Note: there will be no updates over the weekend. Next update expected by the middle of next week_


	14. Chapter 13

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Well, my schedule today got changed around unexpectedly leaving me time to write today! I want to thank you all for your feedback, I know I've said it before but I love hearing what everyone thinks about the story and the different theories as to what's going to happen in this story. And sometimes….they give me ideas for future chapters that I hadn't thought of. So again, many thanks to all of you readers who take the time to leave feedback!_

 **Chpt. 13 APOV:**

"So Ana….who's your new boyfriend?" Ginny asks the moment I walk into the bakery.

"Huh? What are you talking about Ginny?" I'm confused….how could Ginny possibly know about Christian? It has to be Christian that she is talking about; I haven't been out with any other guy or even had interest in a guy in years.

"One of the afternoon girls brought a picture of you in-"

"A picture?"

"Here, it's in my office," she leads me back to her office and hands me a piece of paper. On it is a blurry picture of Christian and me from the business dinner Friday night that I accompanied him to. We are sitting next to each other at the table; Christian's eyes are on me but it looks like I'm talking to Gwen. I didn't think he was watching me during the dinner; he was probably just making sure that I didn't say something that I shouldn't have given the limited time we had to prepare for the dinner. The headline below the picture reads

 _"We couldn't believe it either! Billionaire playboy Christian Grey is seen for the second time with a mystery woman. Until recently Christian Grey had been attending events solo after being seen with half a different dozen women in less than two months. Now, in span of two weeks he is seen with the same woman twice! Who is this mystery woman and what spell could she have put on Grey to get him to take her out twice?"_

"Oh that…." I blush at Ginny knowing my personal life although up until now I suppose I haven't had much of a personal life to worry about.

"You're dating a friggin' billionaire Ana?!" Maria, one of the other girls who works the morning shift rushes in.

"I….I…." I'm caught completely off guard; I hadn't expected that part of my life to mix with this part. I thought I could keep them separate although I should have expected that wouldn't be the case if I was seen publically with Christian which was the purpose of this arrangement for Christian. "Christian Grey and I are dating-"

"For how long? Why didn't you say anything?" Maria asks.

"Maria, enough. As long as Ana is happy that is all that matters," Ginny interrupts. "Now, I believe we have some donuts, muffins and breads to make for today."

I wanted to hug Ginny in that moment, but instead I lead the way out of her office to the kitchen where I start my orders for the day. I wasn't expecting it to be common knowledge so fast that Christian and I were _dating_ but I guess this is exactly what he wanted, what he needed, so the press would begin to paint a different picture of him. I don't remember seeing any press at the dinner the other night, but the little bit I saw of the picture of us looks like it was from someone's cell phone who I can only assume then sold it to the media. The media hasn't yet figured out who I am but I'm sure it won't be too much longer before my name is leaked to the press either purposely or through some investigating. I need to remember that at any time I could be questioned about my _relationship_ with Christian; I need to stay on my toes and be more prepared the next time someone asks about us.

"Ana, someone is asking to speak to you about a catering order," Ginny informs me.

"Mia, how nice to see you!" I walk up from and am immediately surprised to see Mia Grey waiting at the counter for me.

"Ana, I'm so glad you are working today! I need to talk to you about a catering order," she says.

"Sure, why don't you have a seat at a table and I'll grab our ordering forms," I gesture to one of the empty tables. Luckily the morning rush has ended so there it's pretty slow; had Mia shown up during the morning rush there is no way I would be able to sit with her and discuss orders. The mornings are hectic no matter what day it is, which is great for business but it gives us very little time to take care of anything else until the breakfast crowd dies down.

"How are you Ana?" Mia asks when I sit down next to her.

"I'm good Mia, how are you?"

"I'm great! My mom is hosting a morning meet for a fundraising committee next week and we were hoping you could cater the meeting? It's nothing huge, but of course everyone loves this place!"

For the next ten or so minutes, Mia and I talk discuss the menu for the meeting and what will be needed. She arranges to pick up the order the morning of the meeting since we don't offer delivery once she confirms with her mother that we've covered everything she needs for the meeting.

"So, I saw you and my brother made the gossip rags again," Mia says.

"I just saw that too," I answer honestly.

"He hates the press; I can't believe they followed him to a business dinner."

"I don't think we were followed actually, I think someone recognized your brother and took the picture to sell it to the website."

"You might be right. How did you two meet again? I don't remember Christian mentioning you before the gala, but then again he doesn't talk much anymore. I can't remember the last time he came to a family dinner…."

"We met at a coffee shop a couple of months ago," I answer with the cover story that Christian and I had previously agreed to.

"Oh, I hadn't realized you two knew each other for that long. Well, I have to go. Maybe you can get Christian to come to dinner this Sunday?"

"Mia, I don't know-"

"I know my mother would love it. Please….try to get him to come? Of course you come too-"

"We'll see Mia. No promises, I'm not sure what our schedule is."

"Okay, thanks Ana!"

"Ana, do you have a minute?" Ginny asks just as I finish meeting with Mia.

"Of course Ginny," I follow her back to her office where she shuts the door.

"I'm only going to bring this up once because it's none of my business. This Grey guy…he treats you right?" She asks.

"Yes Ginny, he's a perfect gentleman."

"Good….you've had enough pain in your life. I don't want to see you have more," that surprises me because I've never spoken to her about my past. Maybe she just assumes because it was a case worker from a shelter that set up the interview for me. I know my case worker wouldn't have said anything to her about my past, we had talked about it before I agreed to let her arrange for the interview for me. "Listen, you're still the only one here who knows that I'm trying to sale this place and I want to thank you for keeping it to yourself-"

"Of course Ginny."

"My lawyer called me just now and told me he might have someone interested in purchasing the place."

"That's wonderful Ginny! Do you know who it is?" I'm happy for her, but disappointed that my days here might be coming to an end. I don't allow myself to focus on what will happen if I can't stay on here as an employee. The two _dates_ I've had with Christian have given my bank account a nice bump; I've even managed to put more away this month that I thought I would since Christian really compensated me well for the last minute business dinner. I tried to tell Elena it wasn't necessary, but she said that Christian already paid the money to her so it was mine whether I wanted it or not. As long as Christian maintains the arrangement I know I'll be able to pay my bills until another job comes along if the new owners don't want to keep me when they take over.

"Not yet. My lawyer says the company is insisting on complete confidentiality about the purchase. I thought it was weird, but apparently it's quite common. Businesses don't want their competitors to know that they are looking at opening a new shop in town."

"Oh that makes sense."

"Right now they're just reviewing our financials, but I wanted to keep you updated…"

"Thank you Ginny, I appreciated it."

Finally back at my apartment a few hours later, I'm relieved that the morning is over. It a matter of hours, the two worlds that I thought would remain separate have collided. I guess I expected it to be like when I worked at the department store and the bakery at the same time; maybe once in a while customers would overlap but when they did it was never a big deal and no one really questioned it. I was naive to think that I could keep this arrangement with Christian separate from anything else in my life. I should have known that it was very probable that my coworkers at the bakery would see my picture in the media; I know a few of the girls read those gossip magazines on their breaks so I shouldn't have really been that surprised.

Surprisingly I'm not as worried about the bakery being sold as I would have been a month ago; I'm not sure how long this arrangement with Christian will last but I just keep saving the money I get so that when it does end I'm not left high and dry. If I lose my job at the bakery I will find something else; when my arrangement with Christian ends I'll probably find another job to help make ends meet. I don't know if I'll go back to being a personal shopper or not, but I don't think I can see myself taking on another client with Elena. I think I only feel comfortable with Christian because we had met before, although when I think about it we really only had a few minutes with each other the day on the sidewalk so I don't know why that would make me feel so comfortable with him now. Whatever the reason, I'm not so delusional to think that I would feel like this with every guy that Elena sets me up with.

I will say though, it's been nice not working 12 and 14 hour days and actually having a day off each week when I don't work. Before signing on with Elena and quitting the store, I rarely had a day off. I wouldn't work both jobs every day, but there were plenty of days where I would work one job and not have a day off. Today, I am sort of working two jobs….I have a _date_ with Christian this evening to attend an exhibit being featured at the museum. Tonight is a preview night exclusive for the members who's donations have made the exhibit possible which includes Christian. I've never been to the museum so I'm looking forward to tonight. Once again I will be meeting Christian and Taylor at GEH, but unlike the dinner the other night, we will be leaving together from the museum since it's likely that people will see us leaving at the end of the evening and we don't want it to raise questions that we are leaving separately.

 _Ring Ring_

"Hello Ana, it's Elena; how are you dear?"

"I'm good Elena, how are you?"

"Very well. I was just calling to make sure you have everything you need for the date tonight?"

"Yes, I believe so. Stacy helped me pick out a dress for tonight with matching accessories. I'm meeting Mr. Grey at GEH and his driver will be taking us to the museum. Afterwards, they will bring me back to GEH before we go our separate ways."

"Did you see your dinner the other night made the site?"

"I did."

"That means that after tonight it's very likely that you and Christian both will be in the press tomorrow morning. The media is expected to be at the museum tonight covering the exhibit opening; I expect you will be pictured very quickly as this is the third event that you will be seen with Christian at. I know this is all new for you so I wanted to check in and see how you were doing with the publicity and to see if you had any concerns before the pictures start coming out tonight?"

"Today was actually the first time that someone figured out the girl in the picture with Christian was me."

"Oh?"

"A few of the staff at the bakery where I work figured it out. I guess it was kind of a preview of what's going to happen after we're seen tonight."

"Are you okay with that Ana? Customers may start asking you questions about Christian, reporters will probably figure out who you are and start calling you or showing up at your place of business. I'm not trying to scare you Ana, I just want you to be prepared."

"I appreciate that Elena. Today was a shock, but I think it was a good shock. I'm more prepared now; I know what to expect and Christian and I have reviewed our backstory so we're on the same page."

"Good….if you ever have questions with dealing with the media or persistent reporters you let me know. I'm going to send you a slide show in a few minutes which covers some key points in dealing with the media that you might find helpful. Smile, be nice but never give away too much information. No comment is always a safe response if you don't know what else to say. Don't let them get to you but if they do get to you, don't let them see it. If they find a weakness they will go after it, stay strong and call me whenever you need to. I'll help you in dealing with the media if you have a problem."

"Thank you Elena, I appreciate everything you've done for me."

"Anytime Ana. Good luck tonight. I look forward to seeing the pictures tomorrow morning."

I spend the next couple of hours getting ready for my _date_ with Christian. Having never been to an exhibit opening before, I relied heavily on Stacy's advice on what to wear tonight. I am wearing a red dress that falls just to my knees; it has a scooping neckline, cap sleeves and a slightly open back. The dress is complemented by black shoes, a diamond tennis bracelet and matching necklace; my hair is curled letting it fall casually over my shoulders. Somehow between the dress boutique and the salon, they have me leaving my apartment looking like a completely different person than when I woke up. Tonight I've decided to splurge and requested a car service to take me to GEH to meet with Christian and Taylor. I could have easily taken the two buses to GEH, but the thought of walking around in heels doesn't appeal to me; the shoes are comfortable enough but with the walking I will likely do at the museum I didn't want to overdo it. Right on time, my phone dings with a text letting me know the car service has arrived. I quickly crab my silver clutch and head to the slick, black sedan waiting out front for me. A few of the people hanging out on the front stoop whistle when I walk by but I ignore them and get into the waiting car.

"Ms. Steele, it's nice to see you again," Taylor greets me in the lobby of GEH when we arrive.

"And you Taylor."

"Mr. Grey should be down momentarily."

As if he knew we were waiting, the elevator doors open revealing Christian, looking stunning as always. Although we didn't coordinate our outfits, it looks like we did; Christian is wearing a black suit with a deep red tie that almost matches my dress perfectly.

"You look beautiful Ana," Christian kisses me on the cheek.

"Thank you Christian," I can't help but blush when I see several people in the lobby staring at us. I don't think they expected to see their boss kissing a woman, even if it was only on the cheek.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele, the car is waiting," Taylor leads us into the elevator which brings us to the parking garage.

"I'm not sure if you saw, but it turns out we were photographed at dinner last week," Christian says.

"So I've learned," I giggle. "One of my coworkers printed out the picture and brought it in, then Mia-"

"Mia?"

"She came to the bakery this morning to place an order and she mentioned seeing the picture. Then Elena called to make sure I had seen the picture and to remind me that press would be covering the event tonight and that this will be the third time you are seen with me."

"I expect the media to really kick it up a notch after tonight," he sighs.

"That's what you wanted, right?"

"It is, I just hate that it had to come to this. I would much rather skip these events and focus on GEH, instead of having to spend time concocting lies to keep the media from portraying me as a _playboy_."

"Hopefully after tonight they will think we are in a committed relationship and will give you some space."

"Let's hope so."

When we arrive at the museum, the press is out in full force as both Elena and Christian had predicted. They are taking pictures and talking to another couple when we arrive, but the moment Christian and I step out of the SUV it's as if we are the only people here tonight.

"Mr. Grey, who is your date?"

"What is your relationship to this woman?"

The questions continue, but Christian doesn't respond. We pose for a couple of pictures before Christian leads me into the museum. Even though the press is not permitted inside, we still have to keep up appearances especially since we've learned that people will take pictures of us to sale to the media. We walk through the closed museum, taking in each exhibit as our guide describes everything in great detail. Christian's arm remains around my waist the entire night; he leans down to whisper in my ear when we talk about the different exhibits I think playing it up for anyone who might see us tonight.

"Would you like a glass of champagne?" Christian asks as a waiter approaches us.

"Sure, thank you."

We take our drinks and move into a room where the mayor is planning to provide a speech thanking all the key benefactors who made the exhibit possible. Christian takes my hand and leads me to an empty seat in the room where we wait for the speech to begin.

"Oh, I almost forgot, your sister wanted me to convince you to come to a family dinner-"

"UGH, sorry about Ana. She hounds me every week about going. I wasn't expecting her to bug you about it. I'll call her tomorrow."

"It's fine Christian, really it wasn't a big deal. I told her that I would talk to you about it but that I wasn't sure what your plans were."

"Thank you, I appreciate you pacifying her."

"Ladies and Gentleman, the mayor of Seattle," our guide introduces.

The mayor gives a lengthy speech, making it a point to thank each donor individually for their contribution to the museum. The speech is politically focused of course, discussing the importance of bringing the arts back to the community even when budget cuts prevent the government from providing financial support. The speech makes me think, despite being incredibly successful Christian or GEH makes it a point to donate money to different causes: firs the Coping Together Gala and now to the museum. It's nice to know that not everyone in the world is focused on keeping the money they earn; it's rare for someone to want to give back to the community the way that Christian does.

"Are you ready to leave?" Christian whispers to me as soon as the speech ends.

"Whenever you're ready."

He takes my hand and leads me to the lobby where Taylor is waiting for us; with a simple nod Taylor quickly disappears ahead of us while we take in the couple key exhibit pieces in the lobby. A few minutes later Christian's phone buzzes; without looking at it he leads me out the door where the press is once again waiting for us.

"Mr. Grey, who is your date?"

"Ms….Ms…..what's your connection to Mr. Grey?"

Once again we ignore the press, instead heading to the SUV that Taylor has waiting for us. Christian sighs heavily as soon as the door closes, clearly relieved to be away from the press.

"GEH will be issuing a statement tomorrow about us."

"Okay…."

"Essentially, I am going to confirm that we are dating and will ask that they give us privacy. Of course they won't but according to my PR department this is the best way to answer a few of their questions but still maintain control of at least some of the information that is provided to them."

"That makes sense."

"If any of the press give you a hard time I want you to let me know as soon as possible. This is Taylor's direct number, you can reach him day or night. If anyone bothers you at home or at work, please call Taylor. If needed we can provide you with security; I don't want you to be at risk because of this arrangement."

"Thank you Christian. I'm sure it will be fine, but I appreciate the offer," I take the business card and place it in my clutch.

"Taylor has arranged for a car service to meet us at GEH to take you home tonight. If you are agreeable, I would like to have the same car service pick you up for events. They have signed a non-disclosure agreement with us to ensure your privacy. Taylor and I both feel it is safest if we only use one car service as it reduces the risk of someone leaking details about your personal life to the press."

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Thank you for agreeing to this Ana. I know you probably didn't anticipate all of this when you met with Elena."

"I didn't but so far the press hasn't bothered me. I'm sure that will likely change after today, but I'll be prepared if they start questioning me."

"Thank you again for tonight Ana, I appreciate you attending the exhibit opening with me," Christian says when Taylor parks the car in GEH's parking garage. A black sedan is waiting next to us which I assume is the car service.

"It was nice Christian; I've never been to the museum before so it was a new experience."

"I'll see you on Saturday?"

"Yes, I've confirmed my schedule with Elena."

Christian leans over, kissing me gently on the cheek, letting his lips linger a few seconds longer than they have before. He squeezes my hand just before Taylor opens the door; he looks as if he wants to say something but then shakes his head and let's go of my hand. Taylor escorts me to the awaiting car, introduces me to the driver and then closes the door behind me. We drive out of the parking garage a few minutes later; I'm quickly lost in my thoughts about tonight and this arrangement with Christian. I've enjoyed the couple of _dates_ that we have had so far, which surprises me because I guess I expected them to be boring and for me to feel uncomfortable like I did with _him_. I've enjoyed my private life so the thought of the press learning more about me is unnerving but I knew this was something that would likely happen when I took the job with Elena. In the back of my head I can't help but worry a little if _he_ will find me now that my picture is going to be all over the place. _He_ only contacted me once after I left, having somehow tracked down where I was working, he made it clear in that conversation that he wanted nothing more to do with me. Assuming nothing has changed, I don't expect him to try to get a hold of me because I'm pictured with Christian but it's still something that's in the back of my mind. I wish I could just move on with my life and never have to worry about _him_ again, but even if the media wasn't a concern, he never fails to make an appearance in my nightmares just when I think I've moved on.

"Ma'am," the driver quickly pulls me from my thoughts alerting me that we've arrived at my apartment building.

"Thank you."

I quickly get out of the car and into the building, ignoring the whistles and remarks from the usual crowd gathered on the front stoop. I want to look for a better place to live but with this arrangement still being so new with Christian, I'm worried about what will happen if I sign a lease on a new apartment that costs much more than this one does only for Christian to decide he doesn't need me any longer and then I'm left with rent I can't pay. I go to put my key in the lock but the door suddenly eases open without being unlocked.

"What the hell?"


	15. Chapter 14

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: You guys are truly amazing! 81 reviews in less than 24 hours for one single chapter! I loved everyone's theories about what Ana saw when she opened the door and what she would do about it. With so many requests for a quick update, how could I refuse? Hope you enjoy!_

 **Chpt. 14 CPOV:**

Tonight was another success on the PR image transformation plan that I developed; Ana and I were photographed together for the third time in a couple of weeks. I expect our picture to be on several gossip sites by morning if it's not already. I find myself actually eager to see what the press says about me now; for the first time in two years they have pictures of me with the same woman attending different events. I could not have planned the business dinner better if I wanted to; I had no idea that someone there would recognize me and sell the picture to the media but I'm grateful they did. I have another date with Ana on Saturday, although I'm still trying to determine what we are going to do. I want Saturday to be something non business related just to ensure that no one suspects that Ana is only accompanying me to business or GEH events. Typically I prefer my privacy and would be found at the club on a Saturday night but this transformation plan has forced me to change my routine. Like any good business arrangement, for it to be successful both parties need to be flexible. So instead of relieving my stress on a Saturday night, I will probably end up at a show or something with Ana. This transformation plan better work…

"Yes….no I understand….completely off the record….Call me tomorrow morning and Mr. Grey will be more than happy to make the donation to the fund….of course….ETA less than 10 minutes," the one sided conversation Taylor is having catches my attention when he mentions my name and more so when he promises I will make a donation to a fund. It's very rare for Taylor to promise donations and typically only when the stakes are high which immediately has me concerned.

"What's going on Taylor?"

"Sir that was the Seattle police department, there has been a reported break in at Ms. Steele's apartment-"

"What?! When? Is she hurt?"

"The call was received less than two minute ago; Ms. Steele called the report in herself. No requests for medical attention were made so my contact doesn't believe she is hurt."

"Get me there now Taylor!"

"Yes sir, we should be there in less than 10 minutes."

"How did they know to call you?"

"I alerted the captain of Ms. Steele's association with you when you first….when this arrangement began. I've had some concerns about the area she lives in so I requested he alert me to any police activity in or immediately around her building."

"I assume the donation I am making tomorrow will ensure that this is kept out of the press?"

"Yes sir, everything tonight is off the record. Officers responding will not make an official report unless Ms. Steele insists on it-"

"I'll ensure she doesn't."

Damn it! Just as my plan was going perfectly some fucker had to go and screw things up! I can't have Ana living in an unsafe place; once the media finds out who she is it will only be a matter of time until they figure out where she lives. What will they think if they learn that I'm dating someone who lives in that type of neighborhood? How can I possibly protect her if the area she lives in is as bad as Taylor says it is? She needs to move out of that building tonight, I can't have her at risk of being injured or becoming a victim of a crime especially not because of me. This may be a business arrangement but I would never forgive myself if she was harmed because of our arrangement.

"Taylor?"

"Two minutes sir."

Looking out the window of the SUV, I can see the evidence of the crime intensity as we drive past many abandoned buildings. Cars are on the road sitting on cinder blocks, windows of buildings are broken or boarded up, graffiti nearly covers every building and I can't help but worry that we haven't even reached the area where Ana lives. How is it I let her go home to this neighborhood after our dates? Why didn't I insist that Taylor have someone follow her? Why didn't I insist that she move into a safer area when we began our arrangement?

"FUCK!" I'm so frustrated and angry with myself for not preventing this from happening. I should have thought this through better. I'm normally on top of all these small details during business negotiations but this transformation plan was like nothing I've ever done before. It never occurred to me that a woman I contracted with through Elena would live in such a horrible area.

"We'll park here sir, her building is just ahead," Taylor announces a few minutes later.

We see a police cruiser in front of a graffiti covered building; the building is suspiciously quiet which I'm sure has something to do with the police presence. We walk up the front steps, I look for a doorbell to ring for Ana but Taylor stops me and pushes the door open which hadn't been locked to begin with. Knowing that anyone can just walk into the building infuriates me; without a locked front door anyone can get into the building, hide out and attack a resident. The thought of someone harming Ana upsets me more than I expected it to and I'm not sure why. I don't know that her break in was necessarily caused by her association with me but yet I can't help but feel responsible.

"If you think of anything, please give us a call," I hear a police officer say as he steps out of a doorway just down the hall.

"I'll speak to him and make sure that he has spoken with his captain about how to handle this situation sir," Taylor says.

"I'll check on Ana and convince her that she can't stay here."

"Yes sir."

After a brief introduction to the police officer, I find myself standing outside Ana's door waiting for her to open it. A few seconds after I knock, the door opens a crack to reveal a very surprised Ana.

"Christian? What….what are you doing here?" she asks.

"Ana, can I come in for a moment please?"

"Ummmm….."

"Please Ana…."

"Okay."

Thankfully she slowly opens the door to let me enter her apartment; it hadn't occurred to me on our way here that she wouldn't want to see me. I had completely forgotten that per our arrangement I'm not supposed to know where she lives but none of that matters right now. All that matters right now is that I find a way to fix what has happened. I close the door behind me and walk into Ana's "apartment," if it can be called that. Essentially her apartment is two rooms from what I can see, one of which I assume is a bathroom. Her main room holds a day bed, a dresser with a small television on top and there appears to be some sort of a "kitchen" along the wall which consists of a dorm size fridge, microwave and coffee pot. The room has obviously been completely torn apart, there are clothes everywhere, her mattress has been flipped over and sliced down the middle, her fridge door is open and the contents are now on the floor, her television now has a whole in it.

"How did you know?" She asks.

"The police captain called Taylor as soon as the call came in, we turned around and headed here as soon as he called."

"You didn't need to come Christian, the police officer gave me the name of a locksmith that can come tonight to fix the lock. I was just about to call him when you knocked…"

"Ana, you can't stay here, it isn't safe."

"It's fine Christian, I've lived here for over a year now and no one has ever bothered me before. I'm sure this was just random-"

"I don't think it was random."

"Why would someone target me? I don't have anything here with stealing Christian."

"They may not think that. Someone who lives here could have recognized you from our pictures in the press, they may assume because we're dating that you have money."

"You think?" her voice is barely above a whisper as the reality hits her that someone may be targeting her specifically.

"It's very likely."

"Shit," she sighs, leaning against a small end table for support. I walk over to her, wanting to comfort her but I'm not sure what I should do. "I can't stay here. I'll wait for the locksmith and then….there's a motel a couple blocks away I think; they probably have a room I can get for a few nights. I can starting looking for a new place in the morning-"

"Ana," I try to interrupt but it's obvious she is more talking to herself than to me as she tries to figure out her next step.

"I'll lose my security deposit here…but I should have enough to cover a new one if I can find something quickly."

"Ana," I grab her hand to get her attention and she finally stops talking and looks at me with these sad, lost eyes that I've never seen on Ana before now. "You can come to my place tonight, we'll figure out something-"

"No!" she quickly exclaims. "I….look that's very generous of you Christian, but I'm sure I can find a place to stay tonight."

"Ana, really it's not an issue. I have several guest bedrooms that you could stay in-"

"Christian, please, I would rather not."

"Okay…." I swear I've never met anyone like Ana. Any other woman would jump at the chance to be invited into my apartment even if nothing else but to get their hands on something valuable that I own. Yet here is Ana, with no place but a crummy motel to stay in, refusing to sleep in one of my spare bedrooms. The woman completely baffles me and that's not something that happens often. Suddenly an idea dawns on me; one that might be the perfect answer to our situation.

"I'll figure something out Christian, it's really nothing for you to worry about."

"Ana, GEH owns several condos in the city that we use for employees who relocate to Seattle from out of state to work for us. Roz and Gwen just moved out of one they had been staying in when they were waiting to close on their new place; it's completely vacant and no one is scheduled to use it any time soon. Why don't you stay there?"

"I can't…."

"The condo isn't being used anyway Ana, it's fully furnished and within walking distance of the bakery for you."

"That's a very nice offer Christian, but I could never afford something-"

"You don't need to worry about money Ana, the condo is paid for and all the bills are sent directly to GEH."

"I can't let you do that Christian."

"Ana, on the way over here I realized that once the press learns your identity they are going to figure out where you live very quickly. I don't know why I didn't realize it before, but you are going to need full time security-"

"What?"

"I'm sorry Ana, but we need to assume that this break in was tied to our _relationship_ becoming public knowledge. You're going to need security to help you if the press becomes too much and to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again."

"I….I….." She just looks around the room probably trying to make sense of everything. "I don't have anything worth stealing Christian. There's nothing here…I don't…."

"They don't know that Ana. They probably see you as an easy target because as the press has pointed out I am worth quite a bit of money. They probably assume you have jewelry, electronics and money laying around the apartment."

"I suppose."

"Please Ana. The condo is sitting empty and would be a safe place for you to live; the building has 24/7 security at all times plus the unit itself has a state of the art security system. You wouldn't have to worry about someone breaking in."

"I….I don't know how I feel about this. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"Ana, it's very likely you're in this mess because of me. Please let me do this for you, let me protect you."

I can't remember the last time I said _please_ so many times; I don't beg for anything yet here I am begging Ana to let me keep her safe. Again, this is something most women wouldn't even question: here I am offering to put her up in a luxury condo, completely expense free and she is worried about taking advantage of me. This Ana is the woman I first met on the sidewalk a few months ago who tried to refuse my offering to replace the clothes that I had ruined. It's hard to reconcile this woman with the one who receives a paycheck for going on dates with me. Looking around her small apartment, I begin to see why Ana might have been tempted to agree to Elena's offer. If this is all she could afford working two jobs, what chance did she have to get out of here?

"Okay," her voice is barely above a whisper but it's there.

"Great, thank you Ana. Please take only what you absolutely need; the apartment is fully furnished and I can replace anything you don't want to take with you. I'll have Taylor arrange for a member of my security team to wait here for the locksmith so that anything you don't take tonight is safe. We'll arrange for someone to get the rest of your items tomorrow."

"Christian, I don't have very much. They destroyed most of furniture," she looks sadly at her bed and television. "Just let me throw some things into a garbage bag."

"Of course, whatever you want Ana. I'm going to speak with Taylor for a moment but I'll be right outside the door."

"Christian, he can come into the apartment you know," she chuckles before opening a drawer and pulling out a bag.

"I'll let him know."

I close the door as I leave the apartment, noting that it barely latches shut as it's obvious someone kicked in the door to gain access to her apartment. I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding, relieved that I was able to convince Ana to move out tonight. I don't know what I would have done if she continued to refuse to leave or had insisted on staying in some flea bag motel tonight. Even though no woman has ever been in my apartment at Escala, I find myself oddly disappointed that Ana didn't take me up on the offer to stay in one of my guest rooms. After _she_ moved out and I sold the condo, I vowed to never let a woman get that close to me again yet here I was offering for Ana to essentially move in with me.

"Sir?" Taylor pulls me from my thoughts before I can figure out why it bothers me that Ana said no.

"Ana has agreed to move into the vacated condo that Roz and Gwen were in. Can you arrange for a locksmith to fix the door tonight and have Sawyer wait here until they arrive?"

"I've already contacted someone and they will be here within the hour to fix the lock; Sawyer should be here momentarily as well."

"I would like Sawyer assigned to Ana full time beginning tomorrow."

"Yes sir."

"She is bagging up a few things to take with us but if there's anything left that should be saved can you arrange for it to be delivered tomorrow? She didn't think there would be anything as most of the furniture was destroyed by whoever broke in."

"I'll arrange for someone to dispose of anything left behind."

"Did the police have any leads?"

"No, there were no prints and this building obviously doesn't have any security cameras so there was nothing to go on. They suspect it was someone who lived here; a few of the residents apparently made comments about seeing Ana getting into a high end car a few times-"

"The car service?"

"That's my guess. Elena had a car service bring Ana to GEH for your last two….dates; I'm guessing a car like that probably stood out when it picked her up."

"So it this was my fault…"

"Sir I don't think-"

"Ana told me to tell you to come inside rather than standing outside her door."

"Yes sir."

"Ana?" I call before opening the door all the way not wanting to startle her.

"Over here," she's bent over trying to pull the small fridge out from underneath a countertop.

"Ma'am, please allow me," Taylor quickly offers.

"Thank you Taylor, if you can just pull it out a little, there's something behind it I need to get," Ana explains.

Taylor pulls the small fridge easily out from under the counter, as soon as it's out a few inches, Ana indicates that he can stop. She reaches behind the fridge and after a few minutes of searching pulls out a white envelope that must have been stuck to the back of the fridge.

"Taylor if you wouldn't mind, could you help me pull the dresser from the wall? It shouldn't be very heavy, they….most of the drawers are empty now."

Just like with the fridge, Taylor moves the dresser away from the wall a few inches and Ana reaches behind to pull out another white envelope. I'm about to ask Ana what is going on but Taylor shakes his head at me, indicating that I shouldn't ask.

 _Knock knock_

"That will be Sawyer; what can we take to the SUV for you Ms. Steele?" Taylor asks.

"Just that black bag, I can grab the duffel back and my purse-"

"We'll take the duffel bag and the other bag ma'am. I'll come back up for you both in a few minutes," Taylor quickly grabs the two bags before Ana can protest and leaves the apartment.

"If there's anything you think you overlooked, Sawyer can bring you back here tomorrow to get it-"

"Sawyer?"

"He's going to be your CPO-"

"I'm sorry, my what?" she chuckles.

"Close protection officer; he's assigned to your security. He will take you wherever you ned to go and will ensure the press don't bother you."

"He's going to follow me around?"

"Yes, I know it's a lot to take in but trust me after a little while you will barely notice him."

"I doubt that."

"His job will be to make sure something like this doesn't happen again Ana; he's there to keep you safe."

"I know, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm being argumentative-"

"Not at all, I know this is a lot to take in all at once."

"It's just not how I expected to be spending my night tonight," she sighs and shakes her head, looking around the room one last time before Taylor indicates that the SUV is ready for us to leave. I take Ana's hand in mine and lead her out of the apartment, she follows me but doesn't say a word as I'm sure she tries to come to terms that she is leaving this apartment. It may not be much, but I get the impression that Ana liked the place. When we get into the SUV, she stares blindly out the window….

"Why did the police call you, Christian?"

"When we….when we started our arrangement Taylor spoke to the captain in this precinct and requested they contact him if there was any police activity in or around your residence."

"So you knew where I lived?"

"I didn't, no. I have maintained that aspect of our contract until tonight Ana," I assure her trying not to ruin the little bit of trust that I think she has in me.

"But Taylor knew where I lived?"

"Yes."

"Elena told me the information wouldn't be included in my background check; that you wouldn't know where I lived or would know how to contact me."

"She didn't give Taylor that information. Taylor ran a background check-"

"What the hell is it with you all running background checks on people without them knowing?!"

I've never heard Ana raise her voice or curse, so I was taken back by her reaction.

"Ana…. It's standard protocol to run a background check on anyone I come in contact with because of who I am. I have never looked at the report; Taylor gave me very basic information on what was in there."

"Gee thanks," the sarcasm is evident in her voice.

"Ana, I'm not going to apologize for the fact that Taylor ran the report. It my line of work, it needs to be done. Everyone is considered a risk to GEH, to my family or to me until we have a thorough background report completed."

"I understand that, but don't you think that people like you should at least ask someone before they go diving into someone's past?"

"People like me?"

"Elena did the same thing! Before she called me about this…about her business, she ran a background check on me. Again, without my permission."

"Ana, unfortunately it's how people are weeded out and how risks are reduced."

"I'd like a copy of the report."

"Of course…Taylor, please send Ms. Steele a copy of her background report when we return to Escala."

"Of course sir."

"I don't suppose I need to provide you with my email address Taylor?"

"No ma'am, I have that information already."

"Of course you do."

"Ana….I don't know what to say."

"I think I just want to call it a day and deal with everything tomorrow if you don't mind Christian. It's been a very long day; I've been awake now for more than 24 hours so I'm probably not handling this the right way."

Ana doesn't say a word for the remainder of the drive, but just before approach Escala she takes my hand in hers and squeezes it gently. The subtleness of this gesture makes me smile and despite everything that happened, for the first time in a couple of hours I feel relaxed.


	16. Chapter 15

All characters belong to E.L. James.

Chpt. 15 APOV:

Finding my apartment torn apart when I arrived home from the exhibit with Christian was the very last thing I expected. I was just beginning to try to piece together what had happened when Taylor and Christian knocked on my door surprising the hell out of me. I never would have thought that Christian would suggest, well insist, that I move out of my apartment and into a condo that his company owns. I hate the idea of having to be dependent on him for this apartment; he could terminate our arrangement at any time and I would essentially be homeless again. As much as I hate the situation I quickly realize I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I don't agree to stay in this condo, anywhere I go I will be likely be bothered by the press and I risk having my next place broken into because I could never afford something with good security. Yet if I stay here, I risk becoming homeless the moment Christian decides to end our arrangement. What happens if he decides he doesn't need me any longer? I wonder if he would at least give me a couple weeks to find another place to live? If I save all my money from Elena and from the bakery I could have enough to cover the cost of a hotel room for a few days or a cheap motel for longer until I found another apartment to rent. I think that's what I'll do….I'll save as much as I can so when Christian does end our arrangement and I lose the apartment I will at least have saved enough to pay for another place.

"Ana? We're here," Christian pulls me from my thoughts just as I think I have a plan for moving forward.

"Sorry," somehow I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't realized that Taylor had not only parked the car but was holding my door open. Just before I slide across the seat I realize that Christian is holding my hand; I'm surprised by the gesture especially considering our "date" ended several hours ago. We walk through an underground parking lot hand in hand with Taylor following behind us.

"Where are we?" I feel stupid for not asking but I hadn't paid attention to where we were even driving. That in itself surprises me, I never let my guard down so completely as to not know where I am going and where I will end up.

"We are two blocks from the bakery in a building called Escala. The condo is on the fifth floor and then I live a few floors above it-"

"You live here?"

"Yes, however I want to assure you that you will still have your privacy. I don't have a key to this place, only Taylor does but no one will enter the condo without your approval. This will be your place Ana, it won't change anything about our arrangement…"

"But it does…" I sigh. "It changes everything."

"No, it just changes where we meet for our dates and where you are dropped off at afterwards. I will not come into your space Ana; the condo is yours."

Yeah, right….for how long?

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele," Taylor ushers us through a doorway into a beautiful living space.

"Holy shit," I gasp taking in the space before me. The door opens to a small tiled entryway but just beyond that is a large living room completely furnished as Christian said it would be. There is an oversized loveseat and a larger couch in the room, plus a coffee table, two end tables and an entertainment center yet the room still looks incredibly large. The apartment is completely open, but unlike my last space this actually has defined rooms and several of them. There is a small dining room with a table that can seat four next to a large kitchen with what I can tell even from here are top of the line appliances.

"There are two bedrooms just down the hall, one of which is set up as a fully equipped office. There is a guest bathroom in the hallway, then the master bedroom with a separate bathroom and walk in closet. Feel free to change any of the furnishings while you're here Ana-"

"Christian, I'm sure-"

"The space is yours Ana, if you want to paint the walls, get new furniture or anything else please do so. The kitchen is stocked with dishes and cleaning supplies; I'm not sure what is left in the pantry from Roz and Gwen-"

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele, if I may interrupt," I somehow hadn't noticed Taylor standing in the entryway just sort of watching us or waiting for us? "The pantry and fridge should be stocked with kitchen essentials and there are a few prepared meals in the freezer until you go food shopping. If there is something you need in the meantime-"

"No, I'm sure whatever is in there is fine Taylor. I hadn't expected anything remotely close to this so thank you," I'm taken back that all of this was somehow arranged in a such a short period of time.

"The meals are delicious Ana, Gail has a way of cooking things so they never taste like they were frozen," Christian says.

"Gail?" I know Christian doesn't have a girlfriend in public, but could he have someone that he keeps out of the media spotlight? He said he didn't have time to date but what if that wasn't true and he was just protecting her from the media. I'm not sure why but suddenly the thought that he is with another woman bothers me; it shouldn't though our exclusivity clause actually only applies to me, technically I suppose he could be dating other women on the side. I'm not sure why it bothers me but the longer I picture him going home to someone tonight the more it bothers me even though my brain is telling me it shouldn't.

"My housekeeper and personal cook. She keeps my freezer stocked with prepared meals so that I don't starve on the weekends when she is off or on the rare occasion she goes away. There should be instructions on each container as to how to heat it."

"That's very nice of her, please thank her for me."

"Of course Ana. Is there anything else you will be needing tonight?"

"I don't think so…" Who could possibly need anything else in a place like this?

"Ms. Steele, here is the security code to the apartment and instructions on how to change it. This key is for the ground level entrance, here is the code to the parking garage that you will need to enter to gain access to it from the outside or from the elevator and then this is the key to the apartment. You should find a list of all the building amenities in the office which you now have access to. I know Mr. Grey gave you my number if the press bothers you but if you need something please call me at any time. This is Sawyer's cell phone number, please contact him in the morning and let him know your schedule for the week. I ask that you not leave the building without him; he will escort you anywhere you need to go even if it's in the middle of the night."

"I'm sure that won't be necessary but thank you. I'll call him tomorrow and let him know my work schedule, it's pretty much the same every week so it's pretty easy to plan around."

"I'll let Elena know the details for Saturday once they are confirmed?"

"Sounds good. Thank you again Christian….this….thanks for well all of it," I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him lightly on the cheek. I don't know whether I'm out of line or not, technically our date ended hours ago but I felt I needed to show him my appreciation somehow.

"It was nothing Ana…."

"Good night Christian."

"Night Ana."

With that I'm left alone in this incredibly large, elegant apartment that I know I could never afford. Despite now being away for more than 24 hours, I find myself full of energy and can't help but want to explore what is my new home even if it's only a temporary new home. I walk through the living room wanting to head straight for the kitchen but I stop in front of patio doors that I discover open to a small but cozy patio complete with a two chairs and a small table. There isn't much of a view, you kind of look across the street to another building but the thought of just being able to step outside for a few minutes without having to step around or over drunk/high people is perfect for me. I love the sound of the hustle and bustle of the city below me, yet the patio makes it seem like I'm far enough away from all of that.

Back inside, the kitchen is more impressive than I ever could have imagined. There is a full size gas range, a dishwasher, a small walk in pantry and of course a full size fridge. The kitchen itself is easily as large as my last apartment was. As Taylor mentioned the fridge and pantry are stocked with what you would expect to find in a kitchen: spices, flour, sugar, milk, eggs, cereal, snacks, fruit, vegetables, soda, beer and wine. I could not go shopping for a couple of weeks and not starve, but I'm actually eager to go food shopping – I can't remember the last time I was able to cook an actual meal. Despite trying, I quickly discovered there are only so many things you can cook in a microwave or on a hot plate that end up tasting halfway decent.

Finally pulling myself away from the kitchen, I go down the hall to discover the office which seems like it is set up for someone to be able to work completely from home. There's a large desk with a printer, scanner and fax machine, a small filing cabinet and even a laptop which looks brand new. There's a large closet in the room that has more office supplies in it but sits pretty empty. Next to the office is the bedroom, which is even larger than the living room is. The bed must be a king size which seems ridiculous for one person, but I can't help but throw myself on it, I'm immediately engulfed by the thick blankets on the bed. I didn't think my bed at the apartment was too bad, but after laying on this even for a few minutes I realize just how uncomfortable my other bed truly was. Just off the bedroom is a large, empty walk in closet that I don't think I could ever own enough clothes to fill. Next to the closet is a bathroom that would be every girls dream; there is a separate walk in shower, a large soaking tub that has jets and a double vanity.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever dreamed of living in a place like this. I thought the house I moved into with him was impressive, but compared to this that place was nothing. I can't help but worry that at any moment I'm going to wake up and find out all of this was just a dream and that I'm still back at the crummy apartment building listening to my neighbors fight over who took the last pill from the bottle.

Needing to put tonight behind me, I take a quick shower in my new bathroom, vowing to spend some time in the soaking tub tomorrow and change into a shirt to sleep in. Despite the energy burst, I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow.

Flashback

"You're nothing! We open our house to you and this is how you repay us? No wonder your mother didn't want you! I bet she doesn't even know who your father is!"

"I'm sorry…."

Slap

"Get out of here! Go to your room and don't come out! I don't want to look at you! I'll be calling tomorrow, I need you out of here. You're just like your mother…a fucking slut! I bet you were fucking him tonight weren't you?"

"No! I swear-"

Slap!

"You will only ever be good for a fuck…no one will ever love you! Get out of my sight!"

End Flashback

Ring Ring

I wake up twisted in blankets, covered in sweat to the sound of my cell phone ringing somewhere in the apartment. Glancing at the clock I realize I slept until almost noon; I can't remember the last time I slept for so long. I quickly make my way to the living room and find my phone on the coffee table where I must have left it last night before I went to bed. I see I have a missed call from Elena; I hit the send button to return her call.

"Ana, dear, how are you? Christian told me what happened at your apartment last night, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you Elena. I'm staying in one of GEH's condos for now, Christian insisted-"

"He was right to dear. The press is loving the fact that Christian is being pictured with the same woman and will probably come after you even stronger now. I don't know if you've had a chance to check, but your picture is already on several different websites –"

"What? Why?" I immediately panic that the press somehow found out about the break in last night.

"From the art exhibit you attended, dear. Pictures were apparently leaked of you two from inside the exhibit last night, plus the of course you were pictured going into the exhibit."

"Oh. I'll have to check out the sites later today."

"So far it seems mostly positive although a few sites are placing bets on how much longer you will be by Christian's side. You don't need to worry about them though, Christian told me he was very satisfied with this arrangement so I think the press will be disappointed when you continue to be seen with him. He asked me to confirm the details of your date for Saturday night if you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Of course."

"He would like to pick you up at five on Saturday and take you for dinner; seeing as you both live in the same building now, unless you object he will pick you up at your apartment door."

"No that's fine."

"The date Saturday will be just the two of you-"

"Oh?"

"Mr. Grey thinks it's important to be seen with you casually as to not raise any suspicions that you might only be accompanying him to public events. Although there won't be any press around you Saturday, it's likely someone will recognize you and it will be reported to the press."

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Do you have any questions about Saturday Ana?"

"No, I don't think so."

I spend the rest of the day lazily enjoying by temporary new home; I soak in the luxurious jetted tub and watch movies on the incredibly comfortable loveseat. The food that Christian's housekeeper gave me was amazing, just like he said it would be – you would never know that it was made previously and then frozen. I don't know how I could ever thank Christian for everything he and Taylor did for me last night; not only did he provide me with a place to live temporarily, he made sure everything was taken care of back at my apartment. I know I need to apologize for how I reacted about the background check; I read what Taylor sent me and it contained pretty much what I knew it would. I should have understood why someone in Christian's position would need people to have background checks ran on them; for all he knew I could have been some gold digger after his money. I get it and still don't like that it was done, but I should have reacted differently. I vow to apologize on Saturday night when I see him for our next date. The last thing I want is to seem ungrateful for everything he did last night.


	17. Chapter 16

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 16 APOV:**

I broke down and called Sawyer this morning so I could go food shopping; he immediately offered to go to the store and pick up whatever I needed but I couldn't let him do that. It's hard enough to get used to the idea that I _need_ someone to drive me places and accompany me through the grocery store; I can't let him actually go food shopping for me, that would be too much. Surprisingly it was not as awkward to go food shopping with Sawyer as I thought it might be. We left as soon as I woke up and the store was pretty empty so we didn't have to worry about any press.

Last night before I went to bed I searched the gossip pages for information about me and Christian. As Christian said, GEH released a statement confirming that he was in a "serious relationship" with someone and they asked for the press to respect our privacy. What surprised me was the statement did not release my name or really anything about me, which I suppose was purposely done to try to maintain my privacy a little longer. There were several pictures of us on the sites from the different events we attended and the business dinner that I accompanied Christian and Roz to. For the most part the comments are pretty neutral, although everyone seems to be wondering how long I will stay with Christian. Honestly, I've been wondering the same thing but I'm trying not to focus on that and instead just focus on our current arrangement which now includes me living in this beautiful apartment.

When I went food shopping with Sawyer this morning I picked up a few items that I would need to bake Christian a basket of goodies as a way to thank him for everything he did last night. The kitchen in this apartment was not only stocked with most of the basic staples you would find in any pantry, but it also included a large mixer, a handheld mixer, baking pans, muffin tins and more utensils than I could ever imagine using. I start baking as soon as we get back to the condo and manage to have a couple different varieties of muffins and cookies made before lunch time which was my goal. I don't expect that Christian is going to eat all of these but I figured he could share them with the people who work for him; besides you really can't just make one muffin…

"Good morning Ms. Steele," Sawyer answers the phone before the first ring even stops.

"Good Morning Sawyer. I would like to take something to Mr. Grey's office, do you have a few minutes to take me there?"

"Um….of course. I'll meet you in a few minutes."

"Thank you!"

It's obvious from Sawyer's response that going to GEH was probably the last thing he expected from me which makes me wonder if perhaps I shouldn't be going there. I've met Christian at GEH twice now for _dates_ so I just assumed it would acceptable for me to drop the basket off today but Sawyer's response has me second guessing myself. If he's busy or can't see me for some reason I'll just leave the basket with Taylor who I know is with him during the day. By the time Sawyer knocks on the door, I feel a little less nervous but still unsure if I should be going to GEH.

"We've arrived Ms. Steele," Sawyer announces after a very short drive. I hadn't realized until now just how close the condo was to GEH. I'm actually looking forward to not having to wake up so early for work tomorrow because I won't need to take two buses to get to the bakery. If it wasn't for Christian insisting that Sawyer take me to work, I would probably just walk the couple of blocks to the bakery. The condo really is convenient to everything.

"Ms. Steele," Taylor greets us in the lobby.

"Taylor, I wanted to drop something off for Christian but if he's busy-"

"I believe he is in between meetings and phone conferences at the moment. He probably only has a few minutes to spare but he should be in his office."

Taylor escorts me to the elevator and just before the doors close I see a few women in the lobby whispering and looking back at me. I look down at what I'm wearing: a simple pair of black dress pants and a button down shirt which I thought would be sufficient to drop off something but after seeing those women I'm doubting my attire completely. When we finally arrive on Christian's floor I'm greeted by another one of his employees who is impeccably dressed, almost as if she walked off of a designer's photo shoot. I silently vow to add at least one or two outfits to my closet that I could wear here if we weren't going to on a date so I would at least look like I fit in a little more.

"Andrea, is Mr. Grey free?" Taylor asks.

"Yes, he is…but-"

"We'll only be a minute," Taylor quickly dismisses her and escorts me to a large door across from the reception desk.

"Yes," Christian's voice booms from behind the closed door.

"Go on," Taylor chuckles when I make no move to open the door.

"Christian?" he hasn't looked up since I entered his office; his is obviously focused on whatever he is looking at. There are papers strewn all over his desk plus several more in his hand; I immediately regret coming here as it's obvious that I've disturbed him.

"Ana? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" he drops the papers onto his desk and immediately stands up.

"Everything is fine…I'm sorry to have bothered you," I apologize quickly.

"Nonsense, I needed to step away from this stuff anyway," he shrugs as he looks at all the papers on his desk. "Everything is okay though? The condo….it has everything you need?"

"Oh yes! It has everything I need and many things that I don't need," I giggle. "I wanted to thank you…and well apologize for my reaction the other night-"

"Ana, that's not-"

"It is Christian. I overreacted to the situation as I was caught off guard and then took it out on you when you told me about the background check. I wanted to apologize for that, I understand why Taylor would run a background check on me and while I don't like the idea that it was done without my permission I understand why it was done. Regardless, blowing up at you was wrong and I'm sorry. I baked you some muffins and cookies to apologize for my behavior but also to thank you for what you did the other night."

"I didn't-"

"Christian, I know very few people who would have stepped up and helped someone who is practically a stranger-"

"I wouldn't say that you're a stranger."

"You're probably right, I wouldn't say we're strangers but still…there's not a lot of people who would have rushed over to help someone they barely know. I just wanted to thank you for rushing over to my apartment that late at night and then arranging for me to stay in the condo. It was very generous of you."

"Ana….it was nothing really. I'm just glad you're in a place that you are safe. You didn't need to come all the way over here to thank me, but if those are the delicious muffins that make I wouldn't refuse one."

"Mr. Grey, you're appointment is here," the reception woman alerts Christian through an intercom on his desk.

"I know you're busy-"

"Andrea, show them to the board room and let them know that my previous call ran over so I'll be in with them in a few minutes."

"I don't want to make you late for your meeting-"

"They can wait a few minutes; I haven't had a chance to eat lunch yet so you have perfect timing after all."

Christian and I sat at a small table in his office for a few minutes while he ate one of the muffins I made. When I suggested he share the remaining with his staff, he balked at the idea and said he would probably eat them all before he left for the day. He told me about his morning (meetings, meetings and more meetings) and I told him about mine (food shopping and baking).

"Mr. Grey," the reception interrupts us again.

"I'll be there in a minute Andrea," Christian informs her.

"I should let you get to your meeting. I wasn't sure what your schedule was and didn't mean to make you late your for meeting."

"It's fine; it's a boring meeting anyway. Thank you again for the basket Ana, it was very thoughtful."

Christian walks me out to the reception area where Taylor and Sawyer are waiting for me. He kisses me gently on the cheek before heading down a hallway which I assume leads to the board room where is meeting is waiting for him. Sawyer brings me back to Escala where I finish unpacking before going to buy an outfit my dinner date with Christian tomorrow night. After spending too much time trying on different dresses, I finally decide on a red and black cocktail dress that I think will be both casual and dressy for our dinner. I want to be prepared if we are spotted by the press but at the same time I don't want to be overdressed for dinner.

My morning has flown by much faster than I expected; I was able to sleep a little later this morning since I didn't have to figure a long bus ride into my commute time. The bakery was busier than normal for a Saturday morning; usually during the week is busier than weekends but today for some reason was different. We were so busy that I didn't end up getting more than a five minute break before Ginny was asking me to come back and make another batch of breads so we wouldn't run out. I have no idea why the morning was so busy, but it made the hours fly by.

I thought it would be weird having Sawyer there with me or that my coworkers would ask questions but no one did. I spoke with Ginny when I first arrived and let her know about Sawyer; of course her only reaction was asking me over and over again if I was safe. I assured her I was fine and that Sawyer was with me to make sure I stayed safe. For the most part he sat in the corner of the bakery not bothering anyone; I nearly forgot he was there when I went to leave for the day and he rushed to my side to escort me back to the car.

Back at the condo I finished unpacking the few items I have and watched a little television. Before I knew it, there was a knock at my door and a quick glance through the peephole confirmed that it was Christian. I quickly set the alarm code before meeting him in the hallway.

"You look….very nice," Christian says as I turn around from closing the door.

"Thank you, you look nice as well," he is dressed impeccably as always. Tonight he is wearing a pair of black dress pants and a grey button down shirt which complement grey eyes. Nice wasn't the right word at all….he looks cute and sexy but I couldn't bring myself to actually use those words. I find myself wondering what he would look like in a pair of jeans…in the few times we have been out thus far I have never seen him casually dressed.

"I made reservations for us at the Lake View Restaurant," Christian informs me.

"I've never been there but I've heard good things about it."

"It's mostly known for the view; the restaurant is built right on the edge of a lake so when you sit in the dining room you have a perfect view from all angles. As expected, they serve a lot of seafood but they have a variety other items if you don't care for seafood."

"Seafood is fine."

"Did you work this morning?"

"I did. We were busier than normal."

"Oh?"

"Usually the work week is the busiest time; most of Ginny's business comes from catering and people coming in for breakfast on their way to work. Weekends tend to be slower but today it was much busier than normal."

"I think I heard there was something at the convention center this weekend, if that's the case it might explain why you were busier than normal."

"That's probably it. I've tried to tell Ginny she needs to look at these things online when she is making the schedule, but she's not very big on using the internet so I don't think it's become a priority."

"Sir, ma'am," Taylor pulls us from our conversation alerting us that we are approaching the restaurant. Christian escorts me into the restaurant and as soon as we arrive we are seated at a table against the windows overlooking the water. The view really is incredible; it actually feels like you're sitting on top of the water while you eat dinner. The lights from houses across the lake can barely be seen from the restaurant but even those that can be seen just add the ambiance of the place. Every table in the room is occupied yet the tables are set apart enough that you don't feel like it's crowded.

"This view is incredible," I say in awe after we order our dinner.

"It is," he looks out the window as if he is taking in the view for the first time. "So tell me about yourself Ana."

"Um…..what do you want to know?" I can't help but feel nervous at his question.

"I don't know….tell me something about you that I don't know. During our first meeting you said you wanted to go back to school. Does that mean you started college at some point or….?"

"Yes, I was actually less than a year away from graduation when I had to withdraw from NYU."

"Why? I mean you were so close to graduation, why stop then?"

"I….I didn't have a lot of money for college but I was lucky enough to receive several grants and scholarships that covered my tuition, room and board plus most of the supplies I needed. Unfortunately right before my senior year, I was notified that one of the scholarships I had been awarded had lost their funding and would not be renewed. It was the largest of the scholarships that I had received of course; I didn't have enough money saved to cover what that scholarship had so I had to withdrawal from the university my final year."

"How come you didn't take out a student loan to cover the difference?"

"If I could, I would have. Unfortunately by the time I learned my scholarship would not be renewed I had missed the application deadline for student loans. I had hoped to take only a year off so that I could work and save every penny to go back to school…"

"What happened?"

"Life….it just got in the way."

"What were you studying?"

"English literature. I have always loved books, so I thought maybe I would go into publishing. I dreamed of editing books that would one day appear on the best seller's list."

"Is that what you're hoping to do now? Finish that degree and go into publishing?"

"I don't think so. I've been looking at some online classes through Washington State but haven't decided what I want to take. I could finish my degree in only a couple of classes, but I don't know that I want to go into publishing any longer."

"What do you think you might want to do?"

"It sounds silly…but I think I'd love to take a few culinary classes. Maybe one day open a bakery like Ginny did-"

"Ginny?"

"She's the owner of Sweet Dreams."

"Oh."

"What about you? Did you know that you always wanted to run a large successful company like you do?"

"Kind of," he chuckles. "I knew early on that I didn't want to work for someone else. I'm not good at doing what other people tell me, so going into business for myself seemed like the perfect solution. I initially started out at Harvard as a business major, but dropped out after my first year."

"How come?"

"It just wasn't for me. I couldn't sit there and listen to hours of lectures when I knew I could be out doing something. It probably had more to do with the classes I took my first year: general psychology, introduction to communications, public speaking, music appreciation, accounting, English composition, and economics. I spent more time trying to stay awake in class than I did actually learning something that would help me run a business. I made the decision over spring break that I would not be returning to Harvard and dropped out."

"Were your parents mad?"

"They were definitely not happy. My father dreamed of me going to Harvard like he did; I think he wanted one of his sons to join his law firm although neither Elliot nor myself have any interest in law."

"How did you start GEH?"

"I've always had a knack for looking at a problem and coming up with a solution, even when others thought one wasn't possible. My parents insisted I get a job as soon as I informed them that I wouldn't be returning to Harvard. I started working at this small telecommunications company; I would call people trying to sell them timeshares at different resorts. Anyway, the company was very poorly ran with far too many staff being paid to sit around and do nothing. I was there a month or so before it was bought out by a larger company and completely restructured. I ended up getting let go because I was one of the newest employees but in the end it was a blessing."

"How so?"

"I realized that I wanted to be the other company; I wanted to be the person who came in and took over smaller companies that were struggling. I wanted to be the one who changed how they functioned so that the company would be profitable. I went home and started developing a business plan; I read everything I could get my hands on whether online or at the library. I had a firm plan that had my company turning a profit within the first six months. The only issue was I needed start up funds and no bank would lend money to a young kid like me at that time."

"So what did you do?"

"My parents refused to loan me the money. Well, I shouldn't say they refused; they agreed to lend me the money if I earned my college degree beforehand. I had no desire to go back to school; I wanted to get out in the real world and start making changes. I couldn't see the point in spending years in classrooms when I could be out in the field."

"Where did you end up getting the money to start GEH then?"

"My grandfather, my mom's dad, loaned me the money I needed to start up GEH. I paid him back, with interest of course, within a year."

"Wow….you're lucky you had someone who believed in you enough to loan you that type of money even when your parents said no."

"I understood where my parents were coming from. They're both obviously highly educated adults and they wanted their children to have college degrees so we could always have something to fall back on if our first career choice didn't work out. Unfortunately I chose to go the path less followed; had they loaned me the money even though I didn't finish college they would have been sending a conflicted message to Elliot and Mia so I understood why they made loaning the money to me contingent upon returning to school."

"Have you ever thought about returning to school and finishing your degree?"

"Not really. I mean, I've gotten this far without it; GEH is obviously a success so I don't know that a college degree would make much of a difference. I've thought about taking _a_ class here and there; especially in finance as there are times when I struggle to understand some of the spreadsheets that come so easily to my finance department employees. Maybe someday I will, but right now I don't think I have the time to sit through classes, homework and projects for hours each week. GEH takes up nearly all the spare time I have as it is."

"I bet."

"So….did you grow up in New York?"

"No….I mean not really. I moved around a lot as a child; New York was just where I ended up when I graduated from high school so NYU was a logical choice."

"Do you have family in Seattle?"

"No."

"Ah, so you must have moved here with a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Okay…." I'm sure he can tell this is a conversation I would rather not have. "Do you have any siblings?"

"No, I'm an only child."

"I take it you're not very close to your family?"

"Let's just say I didn't have the best childhoods; I would rather leave that door closed if you don't mind."

"Of course, I'm sorry."

"I….my father died shortly after I was born. I don't remember him; my mother and I were never close."

"I'm sorry Ana."

We spend the next few minutes in silence, both of us picking at our food not really knowing what to say to each other.

"The shrimp is really good," I finally decide to break the silence.

"I'm glad you like it. This place is nice because it offers a nice selection besides seafood; even though that's what most people come here for."

"I can see why."

"Can I ask….how do you know Elena? I know her from different fundraising events that we both attend."

"We were strangers until she insisted a store manager hire me one day."

"That's Elena. She seems like the type who is used to getting exactly what she wants."

"Absolutely," I giggle in agreement. "I helped her with a situation in the store one day and then she insisted the manager of the store hire me and that I be put in charge of her account. I worked there for about a year and a half."

"You quit because of Elena?"

"Yes and no. I could have probably continued working there although it would have been a scheduling nightmare since I primarily worked evenings there. I knew I couldn't work three jobs, so one had to go. I really enjoy working at the bakery which made the decision easier."

We spent the rest of dinner talking about and getting to know each other. It was surprisingly comfortable and I was grateful that Christian didn't pry into my past – I think he could tell it was a topic I wasn't comfortable talking about. The conversation stayed pretty much on the present, with Christian doing most of the talking especially about GEH and the different projects they are working on. Without realizing it, we talked most of the night away and soon we were the only ones left in the restaurant.

"I guess we should head home," Christian glances around the empty dining room.

"They're probably waiting for us to leave so they can close for the night. I hadn't realized how late it was."

"Me neither."

We're both quiet on the way back to Escala, but it's a comfortable silence. Although, come to think of it I can't recall a time when I haven't been comfortable with Christian which is surprising since it's usually rare for me to be comfortable around anyone. Tonight was the first time when Christian and I were just Christian and I. There was no looming contract over our heads like during our first meeting, or people watching us like when we have attended events together. Tonight was just about me and Christian; which was different….nice but different. When we arrive back to Escala, Christian escorts me back to the condo I'm staying in only this time Taylor waits in the elevator for him rather than walking down the hall with him.

"I had a nice time tonight Ana."

"Me too Christian."

He leans down to kiss me on my cheek as he has done every time we part, only this time his lips land closer to my lips. I can feel his breath on my cheek; I know if I were to move my head just slightly his lips would be on mine. It's tempting….so very tempting but I have to remind myself that this is all for show. This is nothing more than a business transaction; Christian is kissing me only for appearances. And not for the first time, I find myself wondering how his lips would feel against mine. If this weren't a business transaction, would he want to kiss me? Would he even be interested in me?

"Good night Ana," he places one final kiss just next to the corner of my lips before pulling back.

"Night…" we stand there, looking at each other for some time before Christian finally pulls away and heads back to the elevator. I quickly unlock my door, turn off the alarm and close the door behind me before collapsing onto the loveseat in the living room. I can't remember the last time I felt like this; the last time I actually wanted a guy to kiss me. I need to do something; I can't keep thinking about Christian kissing me. This is supposed to be a business deal; a transaction, between two people; I'm not supposed to be attracted to him. He could never want someone like me; he's only interested in me now because of this arrangement. If it weren't for Elena he probably wouldn't have noticed me.

 _Author's Note: So Ana and Christian have had their first date alone and are slowly getting to know each other. What did you think of the date? I know everyone's curious about Ana's background (and Christian's), but in real life you don't pour your heart out to someone you barely know. Ana and Christian both have trust issues, so it's going to take some time before they open up to each other. Just a reminder, today's Friday so don't expect any updates from me this weekend. Next update probably won't be until Wednesday of next week. Have a great weekend and as always thank you for your support!_


	18. Chapter 17

_Author's Note: I managed to get the chapter up a day early! Hope you enjoy...this chapter is a little different but I think will give you some insight into what Christian is thinking..._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 17 CPOV:**

 ** _Trigger warning_**

 _Flashback_

 _"Get up you fucking slut! Get off your fucking ass and go make me money!" the mean man screams at her._

 _"Please…I can't….my baby-" I can't see what happened but I hear a loud crash. I'm hiding, like I always do when he comes over. He's always so mean; he yells all the time. I don't like that he hurts mommy._

 _"It's not my problem you couldn't keep your fucking legs closed! You got yourself into this situation, not me!"_

 _"I know….I'm sorry. Please, can't I do it tomorrow night? I can find someone for him-"_

 _"NO! I have good people waiting for you. Get your fucking act together, clean up yourself and meet me outside in five minutes. Don't be a minute late or I'll only pay you half of what you earn tonight."_

 _The door shuts hard, the walls shake. I wait to see if he comes back; I hate when he is there. I don't want him to see me. If he sees me or hears me, he hurts me. I don't want to be hurt anymore. My back still hurts from last time he saw me._

 _"Come on out baby," mommy calls me. "He's gone."_

 _I crawl out from under my blankets; mommy is sitting on my bed. Her eyes are red, her cheeks too. She looks upset. I don't talk about him; if I talk about him she cries more. I don't like when mommy cries._

 _"Mommy needs to go out for a little while. Can you be a good boy for mommy?"_

 _"Lisa?" When mommy leaves, Lisa comes over and brings me cookies._

 _"Lisa can't come over tonight."_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"She's not feeling well. So I need you to be a big boy and stay here. Can you do that?"_

 _"What if I get scared? What if he-"_

 _"He won't come back if I'm not here baby. I promise, he won't come back and hurt you while I'm gone."_

 _"Okay mommy."_

 _"Be a good boy. Don't open the front door and don't leave the apartment. There's cereal on the counter and your juice is in the fridge. I'll be back as soon as I can."_

 _"Bye Mommy."_

 _Mommy falls off the bed when she tries to stand up. She gets off the floor and the front door closes. I don't like when mommy leaves the apartment. I don't like when she leaves me alone. The noises scare me. I wait a few minutes and make sure he doesn't come back before turning on the TV. The TV isn't working….the screen is just white and it makes a weird noise. I get my trucks out from under my blankets where I hid them. I pretend my blanket is a mountain and the trucks are climbing up the mountain and then rolling down._

 _"You are costing me money you little piece of shit!"_

 _Oh no! He's back….he sees me, it's too late to hide. I try to pull my blanket over my head, but he takes it from me. I fall to the floor, my butt hurts from falling. OUCH! He hit me with his foot; my back hurts again but it feels different. It hurts when I breathe through my nose._

 _"You nothing but a no good piece of shit! I should take you from her; without you she could make me double the money she is making me now! Do you want that? Do you want me to take you away from your mother?"_

 _"No….Mommy….."_

 _"I don't want to ever see you when I'm here. I don't want to hear you. I want to forget that you exist. Your mother needs to stop using you as an excuse. If she tells me one more time that she can't work because of you I'm going to make you disappear. Understand?"_

 _"I…..I….."_

 _"I asked you if you understand! Answer me you little piece of shit!" he puts his cigarette against my shirt and presses in. I scream….it hurts bad. My skin is on fire. He won't stop. He puts it on a different spot….then another spot….and another. I keep telling him to stop but he won't. Why won't he stop hurting me? Where is mommy? Why isn't she home yet? She promised he wouldn't come back…_

 _End Flashback._

 ** _End Trigger Warning_**

Another night of broken sleep; I shouldn't be surprised, my nightmares always come back when I least expect it. I thought tonight would have been different; I fell asleep much faster than normal and didn't toss and turn like I normally do. I should have expected the end to a nice night would be like this. What surprised me though was last night itself. I had arranged to take Ana out for dinner just the two of us; I was afraid that if she were only seen with me at public events that someone might start thinking that we weren't really together. For my public image transformation plan to be successful, I need everyone to be convinced that Ana and I are a normal couple which means going out sometimes just the two of us. I expected dinner to be awkward seeing that it was just the two of us without a public event to force us to keep up appearances. But once again, Ana managed to surprise me.

Dinner was anything but uncomfortable; we easily found things to talk about and there really wasn't a time when things were awkward between us. I confirmed last night what I suspected from our first meeting; Ana does not like to talk about herself, but will do almost anything to avoid talking about her past. I can't help but wonder why she doesn't talk about her childhood, her family or even something simple like why she decided to move to the west coast. People don't just up and decide to leave New York City to move to Seattle; at least not without a good reason. When she said she didn't have family out here, I just assumed she followed love; that some guy she was with decided to move out here and of course she followed. She denied that but once again gave me no clue as to why she would move across country. I'm tempted to ask Taylor to dig deeper into her background; there has to be something there to explain why she left or what happened to her family. Taylor assured me there was nothing out of the ordinary in her background report but I know she is hiding something. Either what she is hiding doesn't appear on her background report because it is something that was never reported or she has managed to find someone to bury certain details of her past which isn't easy and I should know. If it wasn't for this damn contract with Elena I would just look at the full background report myself, but I gave Elena my word that I wouldn't pry into her personal information and I'm trying like hell to uphold my end of the contract. Plus, the thought of Ana getting mad at me again bothers me although I don't know why it should. I piss people off on a daily basis in my business and don't think twice. Yet here I am worried that Ana will get mad; she was really upset by the fact that Taylor even ran a background check on her, I don't know how she would react if she knew I had him dig deeper or that I even read the report.

Trying to push thoughts of Ana out of my mind, I take a shower and start to weed through my many emails that came in during dinner last night. Once again I find myself waiting until a reasonable time before I let Taylor know I want to go for a run. Running helps pull me from my nightmares; it clears my mind and gets me ready for the day. Of course as luck would have it, Taylor informs me it's raining outside which is pretty normal for Seattle but I despise running when it's raining really hard out. A few minutes later, Taylor and I are in the gym of Escala running on treadmills instead.

I'm listening to music, lost in my thoughts which are focused on trying to find a next big project for GEH to take on. I don't know how long I run for but when I finally look up I see an absolutely stunning woman standing next to the pool. One wall of the gym overlooks Escala's built in swimming pool which is one floor below the gym but the ceiling of the room extends to the ceiling of the gym. Not too many people use the pool but this morning there is a sexy brunette standing at the edge almost as if she is trying to decide if she is going in. I can only see her back, but from what I can see looks incredibly sexy in the bikini she is wearing. Without warning, she dives perfectly into the pool swimming the entire length before popping her head up for air. She swims the entire length of the pool several times without stopping. I don't know why, but I can't seem to stop watching her; it's almost like I'm drawn to her.

After several minutes, or perhaps longer, the beautiful brunette climbs out of the pool once again giving me a perfect view of the profile of her body. She has long legs that seem to go on forever; she has a small ass but one that I could see filling my hands perfectly. I can tell from this angle her stomach is completely flat; her breasts are perfect just like the rest of her: not too big, but not too small either. I can't help but picture what she would look like naked below me. Fuck, she wouldn't even have to be naked. I can't help but wonder what it would be like to walk into the pool, push her against the wall, move her bikini bottoms aside and thrust into her. I would hold her wrists in one hand, the other would be gripping her firm ass I fucked her hard against the wall until she was begging me to make her come. Of course, no one would be able to see us but the idea of fucking her in public arouses both of us further. We use each other; taking from each other what we both desperately need, a quick hard fuck. I nearly groan aloud as I picture finding my release inside of her against that wall. Opening my eyes, I'm absolutely stunned at the sight before me.

Ana.

What the fuck?! I can't be picturing fucking her! I can't complicate our perfect arrangement by finding her attractive! FUCK! I knew she likely had an incredible body; some of the dresses she has worn has made that obvious but I never expected to see her in so little clothing as she is wearing right now. I know without even closing my eyes that the image of Ana in the bikini is burned into my mind; how the fuck am I ever going to look at her again without picturing her like this?

FUCK….FUCK….FUCK….FUCK…..

Not only am I now left trying to figure out how to burn the image of Ana in the bikini from my mind, but I'm stuck with a fucking hard on in the middle of the gym! I slow the pace down on the treadmill, close my eyes and begin picturing all sorts of unattractive images in my mind. Finally after several minutes, I am able to get myself under control and thankfully when I open my eyes Ana is gone from the pool area.

"Let's go Taylor."

"Yes sir."

Returning to my condo, I immediately take off for my shower to wash the sweat from my body before breakfast and ultimately another day of work even though it's Sunday. My mother convinced me to come to dinner tonight so I only have a few hours to get work done before I need to leave. I strip my clothes off and enter the hot shower, letting the water wash away the grime of the gym. I make the mistake of closing my eyes and of course the image of fucking Ana against the wall in the pool room returns. Unlike at the gym when I was only picturing a body, this time I'm imagining it's Ana against the wall that I'm fucking. I'm picturing her arms above her head, her ass in my hand, her pussy gripping me tightly and her voice moaning in my ear begging me to fuck her harder. I'm picturing everything I want from Ana, which of course is absolutely nothing she would want from me. She is not the type of woman who gets fucked hard against a wall; she is the type who expects to be made love to something I could never give her. She deserves so much more; she deserves better than me. If nothing else, hopefully this arrangement gives what she needs to improve her life so she can find someone who is right for her…someone who is not me.

Although I know she would never want it, I'm still picturing myself thrusting into her warm body against the cold, hard wall tile. My hand grasps my dick, stroking it as I'm imagining her sex stroking me. I can almost feel her breath against my ear, her voice moaning in my ear as I bring her closer and closer to her release. I begin stroking myself faster as I wonder what she would look like when she came; would she open her eyes? Would she scream my name? Is she quiet or does she scream out when the orgasm finally hits?

"Fuck Ana!" I hiss as I reach my own release as I try to picture what she looks like when she comes.

I can't remember the last time I even cared what a woman looked like when she found her release; or hell if she even found her release. Yet once I started picturing Ana against that wall, the only thing I thought about was bringing her to an orgasm.

DAMN IT!

I need to stop thinking about Ana like this; picturing her naked isn't going to help our arrangement, in fact it will only make it worse. How the fuck can I kiss her goodnight on the cheek after a date if I'm picturing her naked against a wall? How can I tell her how beautiful she looks in a dress when I'm imagining what I now know is underneath it?

DAMN IT!

I need to get her out of my thoughts! Normally I would go to the club, but of course it's Sunday which means they are closed but even if they were open I couldn't cancel dinner with my parents to go to the club. Fuck….when was the last time I was at the club? As I try to figure out the last time I was there I realize this is probably my issue. I don't think I've been to the club in weeks….no wait….months. Fuck…have I really gone two months without going to the club? That can't be right….can it? I'm in disbelief as I realize I have been so busy focusing on my image transformation that I haven't been to the club in far too long. My weekends have been so busy I haven't had a chance to get there in at least three or four months I realize. I don't visit the club during the week; my schedule is too hectic to get there but maybe it's time I change that. I need to do something; I need to stop picturing Ana in a bikini, naked or with me plunging deep into her tight sex.

FUCK!

I drag myself from the shower, just as my dick is beginning to twitch yet again at the thought of Ana's body against mine. I need to look at my schedule; I need to find a time to get to the club. I need to get this out of my system before I break our contract with Elena. It was hard enough last night after dinner to kiss her on the cheek, especially when she looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and I couldn't help but wonder how her soft lips would feel against mine. What the fuck am I going to do the next time I see her? How am I going to keep my hands or lips off of her? I need to do something or not only will I break the terms of our contract but I will risk losing the perfect solution to my public image situation as I have no doubt that Ana does not think of me the way I think of her.

I force myself to focus on work the remainder of the day, pushing Ana as far away from my mind as possible. It's the only thing I can do, because if I sit and think about her much longer I'm tempted to take the elevator down the few floors that are separating us right now and do something she will hate me for. For the first time I understand why Elena's contract insist that our addresses remain private; it would be so much easier if I didn't know she was only a few floors below me…

"Sir?" Taylor pulls me from my thoughts which have once again become nearly entirely focused on Ana.

"I'll be ready to leave in five."

Thankfully the ride to my parent's house is not focused on Ana; I have a slew of emails from Roz providing me with details about several companies she suggests we look into for our next acquisition. The fact that Roz and I are both working on a Sunday afternoon doesn't surprise me; a successful business doesn't get built by working only Monday through Friday from nine to five. Especially when some of the companies we are looking to acquire are all over the globe, which of course means in they are in different time zones. Roz knows just as well as I do that our business requires "nontraditional" hours and thankfully she has no problem putting these hours in. Before I realize it Taylor has stopped the car in front of my parent's house; I quickly finish my last email and let Roz know that I will be unavailable for the next couple of hours. My parent's hate it when I spend dinner on my phone so when at all possible I try to respect their wishes and not respond to emails unless they are urgent. Roz knows the routine and will call if something comes up and I don't respond right away to her email.

"Christian!" Mia races out the front door to great me before I reach the door.

"Mia…One day you're going to knock me to the ground," I can't help but wrap my arms around her and twirl her around. Mia is the only person who I can do this with; she is the only person who has ever been able to hug me or even come close to my chest. I think it's because I've known her since she was a newborn when my parents brought her home from the hospital where her teenage mother had just abandoned her. I remember seeing her for the first time; it was the only time I saw someone who I knew couldn't hurt me.

"Where's Ana? I was hoping you would bring her tonight," she pouts

"I told mom, Ana was busy tonight and not able to make it to dinner," I lie.

"I know….I was still hoping you would bring her."

"Another time, perhaps."

"We were just looking at the picture of you two from last night, which is why I was hoping you would bring her."

"Picture?"

"From your date…."

"Are you sure it's from last night? It might be from-"

"The story said it was from last night. You were at Lake View right?"

"We were….I didn't know anyone got a picture of us."

"Come inside, I'll show you."

I quickly great my parents and Elliot while Mia grabs her ipad to show me the article that was posted today. I've made it a habit of checking the gossip sites every day for anything new written about me but somehow today I forgot.

 _Is Christian Grey becoming a romantic?_

 _A source dining at the Lake View Restaurant last night captured Christian Grey, Seattle's billionaire playboy, out to dinner with the woman that GEH has referred to as his romantic interest. Our source captured this grainy picture of the two sharing dinner overlooking the lake at what is one of the most romantic tables in the entire dining room – sought after because of the incredible views. According to the source, Christian Grey and his date spent several hours at the restaurant appearing to be lost in their own world. "They barely looked up from each other when the waiter brought their drinks," our source says. "They were the last customers to leave; the entire dining room was empty by the time they finally pulled away from each other. They've obviously known each other for some time; they looked very comfortable with each other." According to our source, they walked out of the dining room holding hands and got into the same car. So Seattle….how long do you think our Billionaire Playboy will be able to commit to one woman? We all know he hasn't been seen with the same woman since…_

I immediately stop reading the article, not wanting to taint the night by thinking about what happened the last time I trusted a woman enough to let them into my life. If nothing else this article is a reminder that I need to be careful, reinforcing the fact that I need to keep the arrangement with Ana strictly professional. While it seems like my image transformation is working, this reporter is quick to remind everyone that they still think I'm a playboy at the core. If only the media knew the true story; I was never a playboy….even before _her_ I wasn't a playboy. _She_ was a mistake; _she_ is the reason I keep my personal life confined to the club. _She_ is the reason I will never again fall for a woman. _She_ is the reason I could never be more than a business transaction to Ana.


	19. Chapter 18

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 18 APOV:**

I haven't seen Christian in almost a week; tonight will be the first time we've seen each other since our _date_ at the Lake View Restaurant last weekend. Elena called to confirm the details of our _date_ tonight for an awards banquet that Christian is attending but she said otherwise he didn't have anything he needed me for this week. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised; he had mentioned that he was working on a several large projects when we had dinner, I'm sure one of those consumed his time. I've spent most of the week working; one of the girls that usually work ended up quitting unexpectedly which meant I had to work longer hours this week. I'm looking forward to this weekend, it's the first weekend in probably more than a year at least that I've had off the entire weekend. I'm going with Christian to some awards dinner tonight, but tomorrow I signed up for a weekend cooking class at the community college. It's nothing big, but I'm excited to finally do something for myself. I was thrilled when Ginny said I could have the weekend off to take this class and half expected her to change her mind since we've been short staffed all week but she confirmed this morning that she didn't need me. I can't remember the last time I was able to do something for me; something that didn't involve paying for bills or trying to save money just in case I needed to leave suddenly again.

After working this morning, I was able to take a quick nap since I'm not sure how late the dinner tonight it going. I don't know much about the dinner itself, only that Christian is being given an award for some charity work he has done in and around Seattle. I've tried researching some of the work he has done but there's not much written about his charity work. I kind of feel like I'm going into the dinner blind, but I'm confident that I can "wing it" as if I knew what Christian was involved in. I at least know he has given donation annually to Coping Together through the gala that his parents hosted and the museum for the exhibit opening we attended

For tonight's dinner, Elena has informed me that the dress code is dressy but not formal. I'm wearing a simple floor length dress that has a slit up the side to add just a hint of sexiness to it. According to Elena the banquet is being hosted by a local community group to thank several of their major sponsors and should have minimal press coverage given the quaintness of this event. Of course Elena was quick to remind me that even when the press aren't present, we need to act as if we are a couple since we have been photographed several times already by people who then sale our picture to the gossip websites.

"Good Evening Anastasia, you look stunning," Christian greets me at the door right on time as always.

"Thank you Christian," for some unknown reason I blush at his complement which surprises me.

"Shall we?"

"Just let me set the alarm," I quickly punch in the code and lock the door behind me.

"How was your week Ana?" he asks on the drive over.

"It was good….busy but good."

"Oh?"

"One of the girls quit without warning so I've been helping to cover her shifts. I've worked every morning this week, but thankfully I'm off this weekend at least."

"Do you have plans for the weekend?"

"Sort of….I signed up for a cooking class at the community college-"

"That's really great Ana! I know you mentioned wanting to go back to school."

"It's not much….it's just a weekend class – not part of a program or anything but I'm looking forward to it."

"It's all weekend?"

"Six hours tomorrow and then six hours on Sunday. I was worried that Ginny might say she needed me this weekend, but she let me know that my approval for the time off stood."

"Good for you Ana."

"Thank you," _why the hell am I blushing again? I don't think I've ever blushed this much in my entire life!_ "How was your week?"

"Busy….I was out of town for a few days. We've been working on a long distance deal and I needed to fly out this week to review some things on site."

"Is it moving forward?"

"I hope so. The company holds a patent that I really want; if I can acquire the company and therefore the patent it could transform the way we look at green technology across the country."

"Wow that's wonderful."

"It will be if it works out. These things can take a turn at any moment so I try not to get too caught up on one acquisition."

"Makes sense."

"Do you have any questions about tonight? I assume Elena filled you in on the details of the event?"

"She explained that you were being given an award for some of your charity work around the city by a local community based organization that is also recognizing several sponsors. She doesn't expect there to be much press coverage as this is a relatively small event but that doesn't mean that someone won't take a picture of us and sale it to a gossip site."

"I assume you saw the picture of us from the Lake View?"

"I did….it was obviously taken from a cell phone, the quality wasn't the greatest."

"I assume so; it's possible the same thing could happen at tonight's event especially now that our picture appearing on more of the sites."

"Is there anything I should know for tonight?"

"I don't think so. I normally don't attend this dinner; Roz usually handles the smaller awards banquets for GEH but unfortunately she is away this weekend which is how we ended up here tonight. Roz warned me ahead of time the food isn't the greatest here, so don't be surprised if we leave and you're still hungry. We can always stop and grab something to eat on the way home if the food is that bad-"

"I'm sure it won't be-"

"I wouldn't be too sure," he chuckles. "From what Roz has told me, there will be a speech by the organization's founder, we'll have dinner and then the awards will be given. I should be one of the first awards, but we'll stay for a few of the others before making an excuse to leave. I have no desire to stay longer than we need to, but I need it to look like we've been there long enough for appearances."

"Okay, just let me know when and we'll leave."

A little while later, we have arrived outside of a chain hotel where the awards banquet is being held tonight. We are ushered into a large conference room with about thirty or so tables set up around the room and small stage on one side of the room. Christian leads me around the room, introducing me to various people who all seem to be heads of different businesses. Of course there is no one I recognize at the event tonight but that doesn't surprise me. Christian has clearly met most of these businessmen in the past, I'm sure at similar events.

Christian keeps me near him as he walks around the room; his arm is wrapped around my waist, his hand grips my hip as we walk. Before we walk up to a few of the men, he whispers in my ear who they are so that when he introduces us I know a little about them ahead of time. I'm grateful for this small gesture as it helps me make small talk with some of the guests after introductions are made.

"Ladies and gentleman if you would please find your way to your tables we would like to begin in a few minutes," a voice comes over the speaker system.

"I think that's our cue," Christian leads me across the room to a table just off to the side of the stage.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I would like to introduce you to the founder of Children First, Ms. Samantha Richardson," everyone rises and claps as an older woman takes the stage.

"Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules to attend our dinner this evening. As you know Children First started more than twenty five years ago as a grass roots effort to provide free activities to children in our community in an effort to keep them off the streets after school. Each of you in this room has contributed to our organization over the last year which has allowed my dream to continue. As government funding is lessened to organizations like Children First, we are forced to rely on private donations like yours to keep our mission going. When I almost lost my oldest son to a drug addiction more than twenty five years ago, I knew something needed to change. I was a single parent, struggling to work enough hours to keep a roof over my children's head and food in their stomachs. I was so busy worrying about these things I failed to see what was happening to my own child. By age twelve, my son began experimenting with street drugs and by fourteen he moved onto prescription drugs. By the time I learned about his drug use, he was in deep. It took many months but I was finally able to get him into a good rehab center, one that focused on children instead of adults. I am proud of the man that my son has become but seeing what he went through scarred me for life. I knew in that moment something needed to change. I was a single parent with no family support; I was busting my ass at minimum wage jobs trying to make ends meet. I couldn't afford after school programs, so my children were left home alone often late into the evening until I got home from work. Children First aims to help these families….through your donations, more than seventy-five children have a place to go after school until their parents can pick them up free of charge. Through your donations, these children receive a warm meal, help with homework and socialization with peers their own age. Through your donations, these children are staying off the streets and off of drugs! Tonight we recognize and thank you for recognizing our mission as something this community needs!"

The room erupts once again in applause and everyone stands as the speaker applauds the audience. I was truly moved by the speech and silently vow to look into the organization when I get back to the condo to see if there is some way I can help. Obviously I don't have money to contribute, but perhaps I can find a few hours to donate time to one of the after school programs. Now that I'm not working at the department store my evenings are free except when Christian has something scheduled. If my volunteer time can be flexible I should be able to work something out. Although that might change when…er if, I go back to school. I might have to look into that first, at least see when classes would be. I don't want to commit to volunteering if it's nothing I can stick with. My schedule might be too thin between the bakery, school and my contract with Christian.

"Chicken or Pasta miss?" a waiter pulls me from my thoughts.

"I'll have the pasta please," I answer.

"Sir?" he asks Christian.

"I'll have the chicken."

As Christian talks business with a few of the people at our table, he takes my hand in his. In these small gestures that I'm grateful for; it reminds me that even though he is discussing business that he hasn't forgotten that I'm with him tonight. When he shifts in his seat to face someone on the other side of the table his leg rests against mine and I find that he is leaning closer to me. As I take a breath, I realize just how good he smells. It's a mix between what I'm sure is a very expensive cologne and probably aftershave or soap from his shower. Of course my mind immediately jumps to what Christian might look like in the shower, and I immediately feel my face becoming flush. I have no idea why my mind suddenly went there; perhaps it's because I don't recall being this close to Christian before. I quickly try to focus on the conversation that Christian is having but with him this close to me I can't seem to focus on anything other than him. I try thinking of anything to keep my mind off of Christian but when his thumb starts rubbing the bare skin of my shoulder it becomes a lost cause. I glance at Christian but his attention is entirely focused on the man who is sitting a couple seats away from me. I don't know if he realizes his hand is on my shoulder, his leg is resting against mine or that he is _this_ close to me or perhaps he does realize it and this is all part of the image he wants to portray. The reminder that this is only a business transaction is like a bucket of ice being thrown at me; I'm immediately brought back to our contract. I'm immediately reminded that everything that Christian is doing right now is for appearances only. If it weren't for Elena and the contract between us, Christian never would have looked in my direction. He would never be sitting here like this; he wouldn't be touching me or paying me any attention.

"Your dinner," the waiter from earlier once again pulls me from my thoughts.

We eat our dinner in relative silence; a few of the guests at our table comment about how good dinner is. I nod in agreement although the pasta is incredibly under cooked and the center of the raviolis is cold. It looks as if Christian's dish isn't much better, he has some type of chicken with what looks like spinach and cheese on top. He hasn't touched his rice which looks dry and has only eaten half of his chicken.

"Well…was I right about the food?" he leans in and whispers to me.

"Definitely," I giggle remember our conversation from the car.

"We'll go somewhere after this and have a real meal."

We both manage to finish about half of our dinners before sitting back in our chairs. A few people at our table have finished their meals, but there are several plates half full like ours.

"Ladies and Gentleman, as we wrap up dinner I would like present our first award of the evening. Grey Enterprise Holdings has been a major contributor to Children First for the last five years. They always answer our call for donations and this last year their management team spent an entire Saturday out of their busy schedules to help us clean up our newest community center. Without their generosity, less than half of the children we served this year would have had a place to go after school. We are fortune tonight to have the CEO and founder of GEH with us….please join me in thanking Mr. Christian Grey for GEH's incredible generosity over the last five years."

Christian rises, as does everyone at the table and places a quick kiss on my cheek before taking the stage next to Mrs. Richardson who hands him a plaque in recognition.

"Thank you Mrs. Richardson; it is your dream and incredible hard work over the last twenty-five years that has made tonight possible. Grey Enterprise Holdings is a proud member of this community; we have been incredibly fortunate in what we do which has allowed us to support such incredible, life changing organizations as your own. I know all too well the impact that drugs and a less than ideal living environment can have on a life and believe that if we can provide the proper supports to children early on that their adult lives can be different. Children learn coping skills very early in life; if they do not have the proper coping skills by the time they reach adulthood they will not suddenly develop them. Instead, these adults will cope however they can which for some may mean returning to the drugs they used as children or saw being used as children.

One of the things that drew me to Children First was that not only do you hope to keep kids off the streets after school but that you strive to surround them with positive role models. I love that your community programs operate 24/7 so that no child is left out because of an odd schedule their parent may work. You obviously recognize the needs of our community; providing a hot meal to children who would likely go without at night has a tremendous impact on these children. All too often, children receive free meals at school but then go home to an empty fridge. How can we expect these children to focus on school work if they don't have food in their stomachs? The pain that comes with not having enough food to eat is unbearable and not something that can be ignored. I'm grateful that you are one of the few organizations in our community that understand this.

I love that you continue to provide outreach services to children when they leave your program. We need more organizations like yours that also strive to support children in improving their lives. It is not enough to provide these children with the support to help them graduate high school and remain off of drugs while doing so – although this is a huge step in the right direction. It's time we start thinking about how we can help these children beyond high school. How can we support them in attending a training school, community college, university or in job placement? If we can support them in these areas, they can not only help themselves out of a bad situation but help their families including younger siblings.

I want to encourage each of you here tonight to go back to your companies and think of ways that you can offer financial support to a child who is graduating high school this year and has dreams to pursue something more. GEH will personally be providing a full scholarship to one graduating senior this year for up to five years of undergraduate education with the possibility of extending the funding for an additional three years of graduate school. I am committing tonight to awarding this scholarship to one student each year for the next five years. If GEH is unable to fund a scholarship one year due to performance, I will personally pay the tuition bill out of my pocket to ensure that child isn't forced to stop attending college."

 _Holy Shit._ I am beyond stunned by Christian's speech; there was so much unexpected in it. I guess I just assumed it would be a business speech, focusing entirely on the facts in addition to thanking the organization for recognizing GEH's contribution. I was shocked that Christian took this opportunity to deliver an obviously personal speech which left me with so many questions. How does Christian know about the impact drugs can have? When did Christian have a poor living environment? Was Christian talking about his own kitchen when he spoke about not having enough food? I remember reading somewhere in an article before our first event that Christian was adopted when he was a toddler by the Greys. Could he be referring to his early childhood in this speech? I can't see his parents, Mia or Elliot having a drug history, so he must have been talking about before his adoption. I find myself wanting to know more, wanting to know what made Christian the man he is today.

The end of his speech shocked me almost as much as the beginning did especially when his eyes met mine. I have no doubt that he added the last part of his speech, offering to pay a tuition bill out of pocket, because of the reason I had to drop out of college. I don't like to think about it, but I know my life would have been very different had I been able to finish college. I wouldn't have taken the crappy job as a waitress where I met _him;_ I wouldn't have spent a year of my life living in hell with _him_. I wouldn't have had to return to the house that I was so eager to escape that I jumped at the chance to live with a man I barely knew. My entire life could have been different, but I will never really know how different it could have been since I wasn't able to finish my degree. I had no idea that Christian had paid that much attention to what I told him, or that it impacted him to the point where he put it in a safety net to make sure that students awarded the scholarship from his company wouldn't be stranded if GEH wasn't able to contribute to the scholarship one year.

The room is applauding loudly for Christian and everyone is on their feet as he shakes hands with Mrs. Richardson who is wiping the tears from her eyes. I have no doubt that she was as unprepared for his speech as I was and like me was moved by his incredible donation. A few minutes later Christian leaves the stage, making his way through the crowd, stopping along the way to shake several hands before he finally makes it back to our table. He takes my hand in his as soon as he approaches the table; without giving it a second thought I lean up and kiss him. Unlike every other kiss, this time my lips are on his; they are just as soft as I imagined they would be. His hand wraps around my waist as he takes a step closer to me, pressing his lips more firmly against mine. Neither of us deepen the kiss; a few seconds later Christian pulls back just enough so that his eyes find mine. I immediately blush at the realization of what I just did and then guilt washes over me knowing that I just violated the contract we signed with Elena. Christian doesn't say anything; he simply pulls out my chair and sits down next to me once again. His hand is still holding mine but his eyes are fixed on the stage as Mrs. Richardson begins to introduce the next sponsor.

I struggle to focus on the next couple of speeches, sort of just going through the motions of clapping after each award is presented. I can't help but worry about the kiss; I have no idea what possessed me to do something like that. Well I do know….it was Christian's speech. I was so focused on the speech itself and the generous donation he was making that I forgot for that brief moment about out contract. I forgot that this was nothing more than a business transaction; that our _relationship_ truly only exists in a contract that we both signed stipulating our individual roles. I forgot that we weren't two people enjoying each other's company tonight. My stupid lapse in judgment may have changed everything between us.

As another person finishes their speech, I try to take my hand from Christian's to clap but he grips my hand tighter. I look at him for the first time since my stupid move and realize that Christian doesn't look right. His face is paler than I have ever seen it and his leg is shaking under the table; I don't know what's wrong but I can tell something isn't right with him.

"Christian?"


	20. Chapter 19

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: I'll be interested to read everyone's response as to why Christian was acting the way he was. Some very interesting theories as to his sudden change in behavior; hopefully you aren't too disappointed with my reason for his change._

 **Chpt. 19 APOV:**

"Christian?" I lean against him and whisper his name. "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head indicating he isn't; I move my chair a little closer to him and casually place my hand on the back of his neck. I try to make it look casual to anyone who would notice although I'm sure it looks a little off. The moment I place my hand on his neck I can feel the heat radiating from his body and I quickly realize that Christian has a fever.

"I'll have Taylor get the car ready and we can leave," I pull out my phone as he nods in agreement.

 _Christian isn't feeling well. Can you get car ready to leave? Will meet you out front? –Ana_

 _Will meet you in back of building, you're closer to that exit. Leave room, go down hallway, exit will be on the left. – Taylor_

I'm thankful that I had thought to program Taylor's phone number into my phone after Christian gave me his number when he was worried about the press bothering me.

"We're good," I let Christian know.

"Ladies, Gentleman, if you will excuse us something has come up at GEH that requires my attention," Christian announces to the table before standing up. He wraps his arm around my waist as we make our way across the room and for the first time I don't think this gesture is for appearances but rather to help ground him. When we exit the conference room, I wrap my arm around Christian's waist just in case he suddenly needs more help walking.

"We're meeting Taylor this way," I gesture down the hall when Christian begins to head towards the front of the building. He closes his eyes briefly before nodding and following me slowly down the hallway. It takes us much longer than it should to finally reach the rear exit where I'm thankful to see Taylor waiting with the car right in front of the door. He quickly rushes to us when he sees us approaching the door. As soon as the SUV door is open Christian gets in and slides across the seat, placing his head against the window. I climb in next to him before Taylor closes the door behind me.

"Are you okay Christian? Can I get you anything?"

He just shakes his head and closes his eyes; Taylor gets in the front seat and we pull out of the hotel parking lot.

"Christian….do I need to take you to the hospital?" Taylor asks.

"No….Escala," he mumbles.

"Are you sure?"

"Escala….call my mother Taylor. See if she can get there tonight."

"Yes sir."

I sit next to Christian who still hasn't opened his eyes; I'm not really sure what I can do for him but I feel a strong need to do something. I ask Taylor for a bottle of water, which thankfully he has a couple cold on the front seat with him. Even though Christian didn't ask for it, I open it and give it to him, encouraging him to take some. He takes a small sip, but quickly gives the bottle back to me shaking his head.

"Sir, your mother said she meet us at Escala and should get there just after we do. Ana, she asked to speak to you after she meets with Christian as she is concerned this could be food poisoning."

"Oh….we didn't eat the same main course, but I'll talk to her just in case."

We arrive at Escala a few minutes later and with Taylor's assistance we manage to get Christian to the elevator where he leans against the wall for support. He looks weak; he has barely opened his eyes since we left the hotel. I'm worried that I should insist Taylor take him to the hospital instead of back to his apartment. He looks like he should be in a hospital. Maybe his mother could convince him to let Taylor take him there tonight? I barely notice the elevator stopping; the doors open into a large foyer and I'm immediately taken back when I realize that this must be where Christian lives. Taylor wraps his arm around Christian's waist, as he leans on him for support as we walk across the vast tile floor. I follow Taylor and Christian down a hallway to a large bedroom that is easily triple the size of the master bedroom in the condo I'm staying in. Taylor assists Christian in sitting on the bed before leaving the room, I assume to wait for Christian's mom.

"Can I help you take your jacket off?" I offer.

He shakes his head but when he struggles to coordinate his movements I take over and slip the jacket off of his arms. He falls back onto the bed, groaning when his head meets the pillow. I glance around the large room for a bathroom; I spot a door next to the bed but opening it I embarrassingly realize it is a large walk in closet and not a bathroom. There's another door across from the bed where I finally find an incredible bathroom; a girl could seriously live in a bathroom like this. There's a large tub that is just begging for someone to soak in, a walk in shower with dual shower heads and of course a double vanity with an area for a woman to apply her make up. In a few of the articles I read about Christian it referenced a woman he lived with who I assume probably fell in love with this bathroom the moment she saw it. I don't know why but the thought of picturing Christian with another woman bothers me even though it shouldn't. Our arrangement is purely business; I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have a woman that he keeps away from the press – he is a man after all. I quickly shake my head, pulling myself from the thoughts of Christian with another woman and go in search of what I came in here for. Looking around I spot a basket filled with washcloths; I wet one and bring it back into Christian's bedroom. He shudders when I place the cool cloth on his forehead but doesn't say anything.

"Ms. Steele, Dr. Grey is here," Taylor announces from the doorway.

"Dr. Grey, it's nice to see you again-"

"Please, no one calls me Dr. Grey unless I'm working dear," she chuckles.

"Of course, Mrs. Grey-"

"How about you call me Grace," she suggests.

"Grace, of course….thank you for coming so quickly."

"Tell me what happened and more importantly what Christian ate tonight," she requests as she sits on the bed next to him taking his pulse.

"He had a chicken entrée for dinner, I think there was spinach and cheese on it. He ate about half of it and a few pieces of his asparagus; I don't think he touched the rice. He gave a speech just after we finished dinner; we sat through the two other speeches I believe when I noticed he suddenly looked pale. His leg was shaking and he was….his neck seemed hot when I touched him. I tried to get him to drink water but he really hasn't had much."

"Okay, thank you."

"If you don't need anything else, I'll wait for you outside."

"Thank you."

"Ms. Steele," Taylor greets me as soon as I leave Christian's room.

"Dr. Grey….I mean Grace is with Christian."

"I want to show you around the main floor quickly," I look at him confused as to why he would think I needed a tour of Christian's apartment right now. "If Dr. Grey suggests you talk in the kitchen or Christian's office it might be a good idea for it to appear that you have been here before."

"Oh! Yes, you're probably right."

Taylor quickly gives me a tour of the main floor; there is a large great room, a room that is probably any man's dream complete with a pool table and dart board, a large dining room with a table that seats at least 10, Christian's office, a guest bathroom and a chef's dream kitchen. I could easily live in just the kitchen itself; it's easily double the size of the one in my condo and has everything a chef could ever need.

"Would you like a cup of tea, coffee or a glass of wine?" Taylor offers.

"A cup of tea would be nice thank you."

Taylor quickly makes a cup of tea for me; he joins me at the large island in the kitchen while we wait for Grace to finish with kitchen. He points out the pantry and another door that I'm surprised to learn is another small apartment that he and Gail share. Christian's main floor is so large, I can't imagine how much more remains up the stairs that I saw in the foyer. How much space can one man possibly need?

"Taylor, Ana," Grace enters the kitchen.

"Dr. Grey, can I get you something to drink? Tea, coffee-" Taylor offers.

"No thank you Taylor. I can't stay long, I'm scheduled to work a double tonight at the hospital," she says. "Ana, how are you feeling?"

"Fine….Christian and I didn't eat the same meal tonight thankfully."

"Good. I am pretty confident that Christian has a case of food poisoning, but I'm taking some blood to the hospital just to rule out anything else. I don't think it's the flu given the sudden onset, but I want to rule it out just to be sure."

"So he's going to be okay?"

"Yes, in a few days he should be fine. He probably should be in a hospital, but my son is incredibly stubborn just like his father is and refuses to go. He's more worried that someone might think he is weak by being admitted into a hospital than he is about his own health. He's stable for now, but I've warned him that if his condition worsens or if his blood work shows something more serious that I will call for the ambulance myself to bring him to the hospital."

"What can we do for him?"

"Unfortunately, there's not much you can do but keep him comfortable. I've given him something for fever and nausea which should help. Someone will need to check on him every couple of hours through the night; dehydration is a big concern for me. Tomorrow if Gail can prepare some chicken broth-"

"Gail is away for the weekend Dr. Grey," Taylor interrupts.

"Oh….perhaps you can pick something up from a restaurant? It needs to be bland which is my only concern with ordering it from somewhere."

"I'll make sure we have something for him."

"Tonight, we need someone to check on him every two to three hours. If his temperature spikes above 103.8, I will need to be contacted immediately and if I'm not available than someone needs to call an ambulance. He needs medication around the clock for the next 48 hours to keep his fever down and prevent him from vomiting any liquid he takes in. As I said dehydration is my concern, if he doesn't take in enough liquids his body could begin shutting down. I cannot stress enough the importance of someone monitoring him around the clock this weekend. If Gail is not available, will one of you two be willing to do this?"

"Unfortunately, I'm scheduled to fly out in a few hours to meet Gail at her niece's wedding. I can try to arrange a later flight…maybe I can stay for a few hours in the morning-"

"I can come by tomorrow afternoon to check on him, but unfortunately I'm scheduled to work a double tonight and then the overnight shift tomorrow night. Carrick is out of town helping someone with a case. Mia left this morning for a weekend trip with a few friends. Elliot….well let's just say Elliot wouldn't be the ideal person to take care of someone who is ill."

"I'll stay with Christian," I offer.

"Are you sure Ana?" Taylor asks.

"It's not a problem," I assure him.

"Sawyer and Rennolds are scheduled to work this weekend, either of them can run out for anything you might need," Taylor adds.

"I'm sure we'll be fine. I can make the chicken broth that you recommended Grace; I'm sure Gail has everything I would need. If you let me know about the medication I can make sure he takes it as you say."

"Wonderful Ana, thank you so much! Christian is very lucky to have you. I'm thankful that you didn't have plans this weekend, I'm not sure what we would have done if you weren't available. He probably would have had no choice but to go into the hospital which he would not have been happy with."

"It's not a problem, I'm glad I can help."

"Here's some medication to get you through the night. Taylor, I've called in a few prescriptions to the pharmacy, can you arrange for someone to pick them up first thing in the morning?"

"Of course, Dr. Grey."

"He needs this one every four hours to keep his fever down. I left a forehead thermometer on the nightstand in his room. I recommend checking his temperature every two to three hours; at the same time you'll need to get him to drink something. Here's a few packets of an electrolyte drink; just mix it with cold water and it should help prevent dehydration. Taylor, this is another thing that should be picked up at the pharmacy tomorrow morning. They may not have it in mix but they should have it in liquid form."

"I'll be sure Sawyer or Rennolds picks everything up as soon as they open."

"If you have trouble waking him up, or his fever spikes, you need to call me right away Ana. Here is my cell number and the hospital number where you can have me paged if I don't answer my cell. If you can't reach me, call an ambulance and have him brought in. Don't worry about him getting mad at you, I'll take full responsibility; his health is more important than what the media might think of him."

"I'll call for an ambulance if I can't reach you, I promise."

"He might start feeling better late tomorrow afternoon. He feels up to it, you can add some noodles and vegetables to the broth. He shouldn't eat anything heavy at least until Monday and even then it needs to be small amounts. He may tell you otherwise, but it's important that you monitor him all weekend Ana. Even when his fever finally leaves, he isn't out of the woods as it can come back at any time over the next few days. Just keep an eye on him once the fever drops, make sure he keeps drinking and eating. Drinking is more important than eating so don't panic if he doesn't eat anything. Just don't let him convince you that he is fine."

"I won't. I promise I'll stay until you say it's safe to leave."

"Gail and I are both scheduled to fly back on Monday afternoon so we can take over then if he still needs someone," Taylor offers.

"By Monday hopefully he will be out of the woods. It's the next two days that we really need to focus on, but Monday maybe the final day. And Ana, don't let him do too much work when he does start to feel better. He needs his rest, try to get him to just rest. His body can't recover if he is using the little energy he manages to have to sit in front of a computer and stare at spreadsheets all day."

"I'll try," I agree despite knowing that it will probably be very difficult to get Christian to stay away from work.

"Unfortunately, I need to get going. I'm already late for my shift at the hospital. Ana, I appreciate you staying this weekend; if I wasn't scheduled to work or could find a replacement I would stay myself-"

"It's fine. I don't mind," I assure her.

"I'll call in a few hours and check on him. Maybe you can text me so I have your cell phone number?"

"Of course, I'll send you a text in a few minutes."

"Take care; don't hesitate to call me at any time. Even if you just have a question about the medication, just call."

"I will, thank you again for coming tonight."

"Thank you Ana. I really appreciate this; I'm sure it's not how you envisioned spending your weekend," Grace gives me a quick hug goodbye before leaving to head to the hospital for her shift.

"Taylor, I'm going to run to my apartment quick and grab a couple changes of clothes," I realize that I'm going to be needing a few things since if I'm going to be staying here this weekend.

"Of course Ana, I'll contact Sawyer and Rennolds and let them know what is going on."

"I don't know that we need both of them this weekend if Christian and I are both here. I mean, it's just a thought…"

"No that's a good point. Originally Rennolds was covering for me as Sawyer was going to be assigned to you for the weekend. I'll have Rennolds just be on call that way if something comes up he can come in. Sawyer will be here all weekend and will pick up anything you might need."

I take the elevator to the condo where I'm staying and begin to pack a small bag to bring back to Christian's. I grab a couple changes of clothes, pajamas and toiletries to bring with me. I add the charger to my phone and a book I started reading the other night. I'm not sure what else I might need but since I'm only a few floors below Christian I know I can always run down here if I forget something. I check the email on my phone and see the registration confirmation for the cooking class I was supposed to take this weekend. I quickly send a reply email notifying them that something has come up and I won't be able to attend the class this weekend. I know I'll lose the deposit for the class as it was nonrefundable but seeing that no one else was available this weekend there was no way I could still go to the class without feeling guilty. With everything that Christian has done for me, the least I could do is take care of him this weekend. The community college is offering another weekend cooking class in a couple of months; I'll call Monday and have them transfer my payment to that class which means I should only lose the registration deposit. In the end though I'm not upset, Christian helped me after the break in at my apartment and moved me in the middle of the night to this condo when he could have easily looked the other way. Canceling my plans this weekend is a small price to pay as a way to repay Christian for what he did.

"Ms. Steele, would you like me to put your bag in one of the guest rooms?" Taylor greets me as soon as I step off the elevator.

"Yes thank you."

"At the top of the stairs, there is a guest room on the right that I'll put your bag in."

"Okay, I'm going to check on Christian and look over the stuff that Mrs- Grace left."

I knock on Christian's door, but of course he doesn't answer. I wait a couple of minutes just in case he is in the bathroom or something; I don't want to walk in and make it awkward. When he doesn't respond I open the door a little but upon seeing him still in bed I open the door more and step into the room. Christian is lying in his bed, one that is entirely too big for one person I decide, and is still sound asleep. His breathing is soft and steady as he sleeps but his coloring looks a little better. I quietly walk over to his nightstand and look at everything Grace left for him. I replay Grace's instructions as to what I need to do this weekend and realize that I probably won't be able to sleep in the guest room upstairs where Taylor just put my bag. I'm not about to sleep in the same bed as Christian, so I try to come up with another solution. Looking around the dark room, I see a chaise lounge in the corner; I move it closer to the bed and decide that this is where I will sleep tonight. It will keep my close enough to Christian to check on him throughout the night but not too close that either of us will be uncomfortable.

I'm not sure how Christian will feel about me staying here this weekend. When Christian and Taylor moved me into the condo in this building Christian told me he also lived here but now I obviously know exactly where he lives. Not only do I know where he lives, but I'm staying with him for the entire weekend. I hope that Christian isn't mad that I'm invading his privacy by staying here; I don't think there was really another option to avoid him being admitted into a hospital.


	21. Chapter 20

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 20 CPOV:**

I feel like I've been hit by a fucking mac truck! My body aches, every fucking muscle hurts; like I was hit by a fucking bus or something! What the fuck is wrong with me? I try to open my eyes but FUCK even doing that hurts! I barely focus on the clock next to my bed….2:03 it reads. My room is dark so it must be two in the morning. I manage to push myself into a sitting position but fuck if just sitting up doesn't hurt. What the fuck happened last night? I scramble my brain trying to figure out why I would be so sore and feel like death. Ana and I went to the dinner; I remember the dry chicken that had no taste whatsoever. I gave a speech….Ana kissed me.

Ana fucking kissed me.

Ana kissed me…..on the lips.

Ana's lips were on mine.

God, I was so shocked, I think I just stood there without doing anything for a minute. I knew she would rightly assume that the scholarship portion of my speech was written because of her. When I was writing the part about the scholarship earlier in the week I couldn't help but think about Ana. I have been fortunate that if something like that happened to me when I was at Harvard, my parents would have immediately stepped in and helped me out until I could apply for loans or other scholarships. Ana is so closed off that I don't know much about her family, but since she had to drop out of school I can only assume that they were not able to financially support her for her last year. I immediately knew that if GEH were funding a scholarship I wanted a clause put in that the same thing would not happen to a student we helped.

Her reaction to my speech though was nothing I could have expected. I watched her from the stage, unable to take my eyes off of her; I watched her eyes fill with tears as my speech sunk in. I couldn't get off the stage fast enough….I wanted to go to her and do….something. I don't know what I wanted to do but I just remember thinking that I didn't want to see her cry because of a speech. Of course though the moment I stepped off of the stage people surrounded me, shaking my hand and wanting to talk to me. When I finally made my way back to the table, Ana was standing there waiting for me. I immediately took her hand in mine, relieved to see that there were no tears in her eyes any longer. I don't remember what I was thinking, but the next thing I knew her lips were on mine. I swear it took me a minute to realize it wasn't my all in my head; I've imagined what her lips would feel like for weeks now…hell probably since the first time I saw her. I couldn't help but pull her closer to me; when she gripped my arms I swear I almost bent her over the table right there. It took everything in me to pull back in that moment; if we weren't in the middle of an awards dinner I never would have stopped kissing her.

When we finally sat down I remember not being able to focus on the next speaker; my thoughts were entirely focused on Ana who sat quietly beside me and no matter how many times I looked in her direction would not look me in the eye. Unlike me, she seemed entirely focused on the speaker as if he were giving away the secrets to life or something. I had decided to wait until the speaker was finished talking before saying something to Ana to make sure she was okay, but then I started to not feel well. I remember feeling hot and dizzy, the room was spinning as if I had too much to drink. I remember wondering if I was drunk but I negated that possibility when I realized no alcohol was being served at dinner. No matter how hard I try, I can't remember anything else from last night.

It takes me a few minutes and multiple tries but I finally manage to get out of bed. When the room finally stops spinning I decide to head to the bathroom, hoping that if I splash water on my face it will help.

FUCK

I walk right into the chair that is normally in the corner of my room. What the fuck is that doing next to my bed? Why the fuck would I have moved a chair last night? There's a throw blanket from the great room lying across the chair….did I sleep I the chair last night? Why would I move it next to my bed and sleep in it? Why wouldn't I just sleep in my own bed? I shake my head; nothing seems to make sense tonight. I use the bathroom, splash water on my face and decide to head to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. I'm confused when I open my bedroom door as the apartment is very bright; my room was nearly pitch dark but now I realize that someone must have closed my curtains.

I slowly make my way down the hall to the kitchen and am shocked at what I see and confused even more. Ana is in my kitchen, with her back to me, cooking something on my stove. I try to figure out how the hell she ended up here last night but for the life of me I can't remember anything. God I would think if I fucked her I would remember it! But that doesn't make sense…I can't see either of us jeopardizing our arrangement like that, no matter how much I've thought about it since I saw her in a bikini. So if I didn't fuck her, what the fuck is she doing in my kitchen? Why is she in my apartment?

"Ana?" I finally give up trying to remember what the fuck happened last night and figure asking her is the only way to find out. Of course my voice comes out as barely above a whisper but she must have heard me because she immediately turns around and gasps in surprise.

"Christian! You're not supposed to be out of bed! Sit down, let me get you some water," she rushes around me pulling a bottle of cold water from the fridge and handing it to me. As she runs over to the stove to turn the heat down on whatever she is making, I realize how odd it is to have her here. Other than Gail and my mother, no woman has stepped foot in this kitchen yet Ana is comfortably moving around as if she has been here multiple times….as if she belongs here.

"How are you feeling? Do you feel like your fever is back? It shouldn't be; you're not due for more medicine for another two hours…" she glances at her watch while rambling.

"I don't think I have a fever, why would I?"

"Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Not really….I mean, I remember the awards dinner," her face blushes and I can tell she must be remembering the kiss as well. I hold off bringing it up until I figure out exactly what the hell happened last night. "I remember I started to not feel well after my speech, but I can't seem to remember much after that."

"Drink the water and I'll tell you what happened," she eyes the still full bottle in my hands. "Your mom will be mad at me if you don't drink enough."

"My mom?"

"Drink," she commands and I reluctantly open the bottle and take a few small sips which I admit feels really good on my sore throat. "We stayed for two speeches after yours but by the second it was clear something was wrong. Your face was very pale and your leg was shaking. I asked if everything was okay but you shook your head no. I texted Taylor who met us at the back door since we were closest to that exit than the front of the building. By the time we got into the car you were pretty out of it; you kept your eyes closed the entire ride and didn't say much. Taylor offered to take you to the hospital but you refused-"

"Good."

"He called your mom who came shortly after we got back here. She had asked me to chat with me when she came to see you –"

"Why?"

"She suspected food poisoning and wanted to talk to me to see if I was at risk of coming down with it. Since we ate different meals the chances were slim that it would hit me as well."

"Food poisoning? That's what's wrong with me?"

"Unfortunately. I talked to your mom earlier; she believes its food poisoning as all of your other blood work came back clear."

"Why are you here though? Where's Gail or Taylor?"

"I…." she looks upset and I realize that what I said came out completely wrong.

"Shit….I'm sorry Ana. I didn't mean it like that. I was just surprised to see you here."

"Gail is away for the weekend…at a wedding I think. Taylor left very early this morning to catch a flight to meet her."

"Oh that's right I forgot they were off this weekend."

"Sawyer is here and Rennolds is on call. Sawyer went to the pharmacy as soon as they opened this morning and got everything your mom requested for you."

"What are you making? Something smells really good," my stomach growls suddenly.

"It's chicken noodle soup. Your mom said you should start with broth first but that if you were able to keep it down you could move to chicken and noodles. I'm making a large batch of it; I figure you could freeze it in case you get sick again."

"I don't get sick….well not usually."

"Do you want to eat here? Or somewhere else?"

"Here's fine."

She brings me a bowl of hot broth a few minutes later before getting herself a bowl with chicken, noodles and vegetables in it. I can't help but look at her bowl with envy; it looks so much better than mine does. I'm surprised when I taste my broth though; it doesn't taste like colored water which I expected it to.

"I appreciate you making this for me Ana, but it wasn't necessary. I'm sure Rennolds could have gotten something from a restaurant, but thank you."

"Your mom was concerned it wouldn't be bland enough. It wasn't a big deal; I haven't made chicken noodle soup in a long time."

"You said that Taylor left early this morning?" she nods. "So you've been here since he left?"

"No….I….actually….." she stutters and for the first time since I've met her she actually looks nervous, almost deathly nervous.

"What is it Ana?"

"I've been here since last night."

"You slept here?"

I'm shocked….beyond shocked. I swore I would let another woman, well one who wasn't family, into my personal space again. Swore I would never let someone get this close to me again. To say that I'm conflicted right now is an understatement. I've thought of Ana here, hell I wanted her here, but now that she's actually here, in my home, I don't know what to think. A few hours is one thing, but fuck she's been here the entire night. It's not that I don't trust Ana, I do….but it's hard not to be skeptical after what _she_ did.

"Your mother wouldn't agree to keep you here unless someone agreed to spend the weekend taking care of you. If I hadn't agreed to stay, she was going to admit you to the hospital."

"I'm sure someone-"

"Your mother was on her way to the hospital to work a double and is scheduled to work overnight tonight, your dad and Mia are out of town and your mom felt Elliot wasn't the right person-"

"No he probably isn't."

"With Gail and Taylor away…."

"No, that makes sense. Look, thank you for staying with me but I'm sure you have things to do-" I don't want to keep her here; I have no doubt this is the last place she wants to spend her weekend.

"Actually I can't leave."

"Why not?"

"Your mother made me promise to stay here until she cleared you to be able to stay by yourself."

"I'm sure that's not necessary, I'm fine."

"I…..I'm sorry Christian but I gave her my word I would look after you this weekend. She said you would probably start to feel better this afternoon but she was concerned that you fever could come back."

"Ana, I'm sure my mother is just overreacting-"

"I can assure you I am not overreacting Christian," I hear my mother's voice before I see her walking down the hallway in her hospital scrubs.

"I was just explaining to Ana-"

"I heard you," She cuts me off and turns to give Ana a hug which absolutely shocks me. My mother is not a very trusting woman when it comes to people in my life. "How are you Ana? Are you still feeling okay?"

"I'm good Grace, thank you."

 _Grace_? My mother is letting Ana call her by her first name? Well that's a complete shock. My mother insisted _she_ call her Mrs. Grey; it was never an option for _her_ to call my mother anything else. When the truth came out about _her_ my mother told me she never liked her but I guess I was blind to how much my mother truly didn't like _her_. Seeing her interact with Ana is completely different; I can tell my mother actually likes Ana.

"Any problems since we spoke this morning?" my mom asks.

"No, I just finished some soup. Would you like a bowl?"

"I'd love some, thank you Ana," she sits on the stool next to me while Ana rushes to the stove to get another bowl of soup. The entire scene before me seems off….like I'm on the outside watching in, or like it's a TV show I'm watching but missed a large chunk of. "How are you feeling dear? You gave us quite a scare last night."

"I did?"

"Your temperature rose pretty high several times throughout the night. You are very lucky to have a woman in your life who cares so much about you. I know for a fact she barely slept last night; if she had slept more than a couple of hours you would have missed your medication and your fever would have spiked. You were dangerously close to being admitted into the hospital last night and if it wasn't for Ana I would have called the ambulance myself."

"Grace it was-"

"Don't argue Ana. I know how little you slept and I have the text messages to prove it," she gives Ana a look that basically prevents Ana from arguing any further. "I'm just saying dear, you have a wonderful woman here. Don't let her get a way."

"I won't mom," I'm taken back by my mother's words. I can't recall her ever saying that to me before.

"I see you're eating soup; you're feeling okay?"

"I'm going to…" Ana nods towards the hallway clearly wanting to give us privacy.

"I feel like I've been hit by a truck honestly. My entire body hurts," I admit.

"I'm not surprised Christian. You were pretty sick last night. The test results all came back clear, so I think this is a case of food poisoning. According to the ER nurse who was on last night, they had several people come in with food poisoning who had attended an awards dinner. Looks like you weren't the only one who had the chicken dish last night."

"UGH, I'm never going back to that hotel."

"I know you probably don't want Ana to see you like this, but it's important someone is here with you the rest of the weekend. Just because you're feeling a little better now doesn't mean you're going to keep feeling so good. As you begin to eat and drink more, you could become sick again as your stomach might not be ready to handle food again. Dehydration is a major concern with any type of illness but especially with food poisoning. So either you allow Ana to stay here until Taylor and Gail come back on Monday or I call for an ambulance and have you admitted to the hospital so I can keep an eye on you."

"Is that really-"

"Yes it is," her voice is firm and lets me know that I will not win this argument. I have no desire to be admitted into a hospital; the last thing I need is for the press to start leaking stories that I'm dying or have some debilitating illness that prevents me from running GEH.

"Okay, Ana can stay the weekend."

"Now, was that so bad?" she raises an eye brow chuckling. "I need to get going, I've been working for far too many hours and need to get some sleep before my next shift. Let Ana know I said goodbye; I'm serious Christian don't let this one go. It's very rare to find a woman who is as selfless as Ana is. Last night should have proved to you just how much Ana cares for you."

"Thank you Mom, I love you," I kiss her on cheek before she walks out of the room.

I'm shocked that Ana volunteered to stay the weekend with me; she could have easily said she had plans and let my mother arrange for me to be admitted into the hospital. Our _date_ ended last night, she didn't need to agree to stay beyond the dinner. She could have easily told Taylor and my mother that she wasn't able to stay. Why didn't she? Why would she agree to not only stay the weekend with me but if what my mother said was true, stay up most of the night to make sure I was okay? Maybe she thought if she didn't stay with me I would get mad? That I would terminate our arrangement?

"Did your mom leave?" Ana walks into the kitchen quickly pulling me from my thoughts.

"She did, she wanted to get home and take a nap before her next shift."

"I'm sure she's tired."

"Ana….I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful-"

"No I don't think-"

"I know I sounded ungrateful," I interrupt her quickly. "I appreciate you staying here last night, more than you know. Thank you for staying here this weekend; thank you for keeping me out of the hospital. This….what you did….it's more than I ever would have expected."

"I'm just glad I could help," she shrugs it off, obviously uncomfortable.

"And the soup was delicious; I'm looking forward to having more later if I'm still feeling good."

"I'll leave it on the stove to keep warm, it'll make a good light meal later tonight if you get hungry."

"So….Did you want to watch a movie or something?"

"Sure, that would be nice."

We settle into the only room in my apartment that has a television; I don't have much free time so watching television is something I rarely do. In my billiards room, I have a large flat screen TV on one of the walls with a large couch in front of it. Originally Elliot convinced me to get it so we could play video games on it but then Mia insisted I get a movie streaming subscription so she could order movies when she is here. I rarely use the service, but Mia likes it so I keep it for her. Now though, I'm grateful that I have it. There's no way I could concentrate on GEH work right now even if I wanted to. My body is too sore and my head feels like it's in the clouds; I doubt I could respond to an email right now let alone do something productive. At least with the TV in here, it gives Ana and I something to do since she's stuck here all weekend.

"What type of movies do you like?" I ask Ana as we both sit down on the couch in front of the TV.

"Something funny would be nice, but really I'll watch anything."

I flip through the on screen guide until I reach the comedy section; I slowly scroll through the movies, most of which I've never heard of until Ana speaks up.

"Oh, can we watch that one? I saw the previews when it was in the theater but never got a chance to see it."

"Sure, whatever you want Ana."

"Oh, let me grab my phone. I need to set the alarm for your next medicine."

She jumps from the couch before I can offer to get it and returns a few minutes later with a prescription bottle and her phone. She presses a few buttons on her phone before placing it on the arm of the couch next to her. Just as I hit play on the movie I see her putting the throw blanket that was on the chair next to my bed on her legs. Suddenly I realize that not only did Ana sleep her last night but that she slept in my bedroom last night. God, I hope I didn't have a nightmare. She hasn't mentioned me having one, so hopefully last night was a rare night where I didn't have.

"Christian? Christian?" I hear Ana's voice and realize I must have fallen asleep at some point during the movie.

"Sorry….how long was I asleep for?"

"About three hours; I wasn't going to wake you but you need to take your medicine," she hands me a couple pills and a bottle of water.

"I should get up anyway," I stand up but realize I must have stood too fast because the entire room goes black and I feel dizzy again.

"Sit back down," Ana's by my side immediately, her arm around my waist helping me sit back onto the couch.

"Thanks…I must have stood up too fast."

"Maybe try and wait a few minutes before you get up again?"

"Yeah, probably a good idea," I sit back on the couch and close my eyes willing my body to return to normal. I hate being sick; I especially hate letting someone see me like this. Ana shouldn't have to deal with me being sick; if I wasn't afraid my mother would follow through with her threat to admit me into the hospital I would insist that Ana go home. She shouldn't have to stay the entire weekend with me, worrying about medication schedules and cooking soups. I'm sure this is the last thing she imagined doing this weekend, she was probably-

"Your cooking classes," I realize aloud.

"I sent them an email last night letting them know I wouldn't be able to attend-"

"Oh Ana, I'm so sorry. Perhaps you can still go tomorrow? I'm sure-"

"It was a two day class; you needed to commit to attending both days when you registered for the class. Really Christian it's not a big deal; they're offering another weekend class in a couple of months so I'll arrange for them to transfer my payment to that class."

"I completely forgot Ana. I assure you had I remember I would have figured something else out so you could still take your class."

"Christian, its fine really; you needed someone to stay the weekend with you and I could arrange my schedule easier than anyone else could so it was a simple decision. There will be other classes that I can take so please don't give it a second thought."

Well now I feel worse than I did earlier; I feel like a dick for not remembering that this weekend was the cooking class she signed up for. I could tell she was excited about it when she told me about it on our way to dinner yesterday. I feel like such an ass for not remembering it. When I can think more clearly, I need to find a way to repay her for everything she has done this weekend. Giving up her class, rearranging her life, is more than I think anyone would have done in the same situation. Allowing myself to think back to my life a few years ago, I can honestly say that no one in my life outside of my family would have done something like this for me. _She_ never would have given up something she wanted to do to take care of me. Not for the first time, I can't help but wonder what the fuck I was thinking.

 _Author's Note: This will be the last chapter posted this week as the weekend is upon us. The next chapter won't be posted until Tuesday or Wednesday. Thank you all for your reviews and PMs about this story; I never expected to receive such a favorable response to this story. We are only 20 chapters into the story and there is still so much to learn about our favorite couple. Stay tuned for the next chapter…and have a wonderful weekend!_


	22. Chapter 21

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: I'll be interested in read your thoughts on this chapter. Ana opens up a little to Christian on her past, although it's not the entire story that I'm sure many of you are hoping for. Remember our couple is barely more than strangers. Opening up about your past, especially when it's not pleasant, is not easy. These two have major trust issues; it will take them time to realize they can trust one another._

 **Chpt. 21 CPOV:**

"What should the sleeping arrangements be tonight?" Ana asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Well….last night I slept in your room-"

"You did?"

"It made sense….I had to check your temperature every couple of hours, then give you medicine and water. It didn't seem feasible for me to sleep upstairs. I know it probably wasn't ideal, but I moved a chair next to your bed and slept there so I could keep an eye on you."

"I was wondering how the chair got next to my bed."

"I'm sorry, I mean to move it but I didn't want to wake you and then forgot about it."

"No, it's fine. When I woke up and saw it there I thought I moved it there but couldn't figure out why I would have moved it."

"Your mom said you probably won't need anything tonight but that I should keep an ear out just in case. Taylor put my bag in a guest room upstairs but I don't think I would be able to hear you from there."

"Ana, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm feeling much better, especially after having more of the soup you made."

"I know…I would just feel better if I were closer just in case."

"If it makes you sleep better tonight, how about if I sleep in the guest room next to the room you're in tonight?" I immediately regret the suggestion the moment the words leave my mouth. If she is sleeping in the room next to me it increases the chance that she could hear my nightmare. If by some chance I managed to not have one last night when she was in my room, it almost definitely guarantees I will have one tonight. UGH, I should have thought of another option. I can't have Ana hearing one of my nightmares; I don't need her asking questions about why I have them. She doesn't need to know about that part of my life; we don't need to cross that line. I don't want to see her looking at me with pity the way anyone does when they witness my nightmares. She's one of the few people who don't look at me like that.

"Really? That would be a great idea. Are you sure you don't mind? I could always sleep on the couch or something-"

"Ana, I'm not going to have you sleep on the couch. It's bad enough you had to sleep in an uncomfortable chair-"

"It wasn't-"

"It's much less comfortable than a bed would have been I'm sure. I can't ask you to sleep on the couch tonight."

"Thank you, I appreciate that. I just want to be close enough that if you need something or if I need to call your mom…"

"It's fine."

"I think if you don't mind, I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm pretty beat and that bed upstairs is calling my name," Ana says a few minutes later.

"Of course. There should be everything you need in the bedroom, but if something is missing let me know and I'm sure I can figure out where Gail keeps whatever it is you might need. The bathroom should be fully stocked as well, but if you need something let me know. I'll be in the room just to the left of your room. I'll be heading up in the next few minutes as well."

"Thank you Christian. Is there anything you need before I go upstairs?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll take a couple bottles of water up with me and my medicine."

Ana takes our glasses to the kitchen before heading upstairs; I sit back on the couch for a few minutes trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to get through tonight without having a nightmare. I wish like hell this wasn't an issue, but it's rare for me to not have a nightmare and if I didn't have one last night it's almost guaranteed I will have one tonight. After a few minutes I realize there is nothing I can so I head to my room and change into something I can sleep in. Before heading upstairs to the guest room, I head into my office and grab my laptop taking it upstairs with me. I don't know that I'll be able to get much work done, but perhaps if I can distract myself I can avoid having a nightmare.

When I get to the top of the stairs, I pause at the closed door of the room Ana is sleeping in tonight. I don't know why I stop but I find myself wanting to go into her room. I shake my head and head into the room next to Ana's and settle onto the bed. I turn on the laptop and wait for it to start while scrolling through emails on my phone to see what I have missed in the last 24 hours. Of course I have dozens of emails that I haven't read let alone responded to since I left for the dinner last night.

I'm reading through an email from Roz about one an company we have been trying to acquire for over a month now, when I hear the shower water start. It takes me a moment to realize that Ana must be getting into the shower in the ensuite which is just on the other side of my room. Of course my mind goes into overdrive; knowing she is in the shower I can't not picture her naked in there. I imagine her standing under the hot water, her pale skin turning pink from the heat of the water, the water cascading down her beautiful body. It takes everything in me not to rush into her room, open the bathroom door and walk into the shower with her. I wouldn't bother to take my clothes off; I would wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her against me until she could feel just what she does to me. Unlike the kiss at the awards dinner, I take full control of this one; my lips are firm against hers, she gasps in surprise which I take full advantage of and slip my tongue into her mouth. I explore her mouth while my hands explore every inch of her body that I can reach. She tugs at my hair, pulling me closer to her as she becomes more aroused.

My hands find her perfect breasts; she moans against my lips when I tease her hardened nipples. She tugs my pants down, freeing my dick which is begging for her attention. I groan into her mouth when she takes me in her hand; I'm so close to coming, it takes everything in me to hold back. I haven't been this out of control since I was a teenager. I've never been so turned by a woman; I want nothing more than to plunge deep inside of her and stay there. Reminding myself that Ana deserves more than that, I force my attention back to Ana. Her body is screaming for me, begging me for attention. My fingers leave her nipple and slowly move down to her sex; she gasps when I apply the slightest pressure to her clit. Her back arches, pushing her tits flat against my chest as I slide my fingers through her slick folds. She grips my dick tighter, pumping it as she begins to rock her hips against me. Our breathing is heavy, we're both moaning loudly as we both get closer to our releases.

"Fuck….ANA!" I gasp as I come, having been so caught up in my fantasy that I was pleasuring myself while imagining it was Ana's hand on my dick.

The shower water is no longer on; I have no idea how long I was lying in bed imagining Ana in the shower. I can't remember the last time I have had to jack myself off; I can usually control myself until I can get to the club. I don't know if it's because I haven't been to the club in months or if it's knowing that Ana is just on the other side of the wall naked. I don't know how to stop thinking about Ana like this. I need to keep things professional between us; I can't risk her finding out that I'm thinking about her like this. The last thing I need is for her to be disgusted by me and cancel our arrangement. I need to find a way to stop thinking about her.

Shaking my head, I head into my own shower hoping that will clear my thoughts. Getting lost in the water seems to help, at least a little. My thoughts return to the last email Roz had sent about the company I desperately want. This one company could completely transform our green energy department and take GEH to the next level. The problem is the owner has been holding out and seems reluctant to discuss options of becoming part of GEH. For once this isn't a company I just want to take over; I actually want GEH to merge with them. GEH can offer the financial support they need to fast track the production of their products while pairing it with products GEH already sales. The possibilities truly are endless, yet they seem to be dragging their feet on the agreement. It's a small company, individually owned, so the entire decision rests on one man.

I leave the shower and return to my bed to begin responding to emails now that my mind is more focused. My alarm on my phone goes off, I quickly take the medicine and return to work. I'm glad I'm beginning to feel better, although I really don't think Ana needed to stay the weekend. I think my mom overreacted but of course I can't possibly tell her that. I lose myself in work, responding to emails and reviewing financial spreadsheets until I can't think straight any longer.

"No! Please….I'm sorry…..I didn't mean….Ow! STOP! Please….please….you're hurting me…."

I jump out of bed, ignoring the dizziness that threatens to force me lay back down when I hear Ana calling out. I can't move fast enough, I hurry out the door and down the hall to her room. There's less than 50 feet between our doors but it seems like it takes forever to get to her room. Thankfully she left the door unlocked; I don't know that I have the energy to break down the door right now and hell if I know where Taylor keeps the keys to these doors.

"Stop….please…..please…." Ana is whimpering when I finally reach her bed, I try calling out to her but she doesn't answer me. I don't know if she hears me; I assume she is having a nightmare because it's obvious no one is hurting her right now. I sit on the bed next to her, trying to determine what I should do next. When I have a nightmare it's best to just leave me alone, I hit Taylor once when he tried to wake me up. I can't leave Ana like this though; I can't sit here and listen to her crying.

"Ow! Ow! Please….stop….I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she cries and I know I need to do something.

I slide myself down, lying next to her and pull her close to me. She body stiffens at my touch, but I just hold her close to me whispering in her ear that she is safe. After a few minutes, her crying seems to lessen with only the occasional sob coming out.

"Ana….it's okay baby. No one will hurt you again; I won't let anyone hurt you," I whisper while rubbing her back trying to reassure her that she is safe.

"Christian? What….How…..?" she tries to pull away from me a few minutes later when she finally wakes up but I don't let go of her.

"You had a nightmare."

"I'm sorry I woke you….I….it was probably from that movie we watched earlier."

"It wasn't from the movie Ana."

"Uh….I was reading a book-"

"Stop Ana."

I look down at her but she doesn't look at me; I gently lift her chin until I can see her eyes. I'll never forget the look in her eyes; fear, shame, embarrassment and sorrow stare back at me. She silently begs me not to ask her about the nightmare but I don't know how to just let it go. Someone hurt her and that I can't ignore.

"Ana….who hurt you baby?"

"No one Christian."

"Ana, someone hurt you. Your nightmare was real; it wasn't from a book or a movie was it?"

She shakes her head and tries to look back down; I hold her chin up not wanting stop looking at her. I've never seen Ana like this; the Ana I know is strong, confident and even when her apartment was broken into she is resilient. The Ana looking up at me now is like a shell of that person; the person looking back at me is not the one I've gotten to know these last few weeks. My heart, which I swore would never exist again, breaks as she looks at me with pleading eyes. I don't know what to do; I don't know how to handle this. Put me in a board room and I can take on anything that comes my way. Put Ana in my arms, sobbing after she relives someone hurting her and I don't know how to act. God, I want to find out so bad what happened to her. I want to beg her to tell me who did this to her and then I want Taylor to find him so I can ruin him.

"You're safe Ana, no one will ever hurt you again I promise," I vow. Even though I don't know who hurt her I know I would do anything to keep Ana from being hurt again.

She doesn't say anything but a single tear rolls down her cheek. She licks her lips as she shudders against me. I don't think about what happens next; it's almost as if my body has a mind of its own. Holding her chin in place, I lean down until my lips hover just above hers. I close my eyes and wait; I wait for her to push me away or tell me she doesn't want me to kiss her. When she doesn't say anything or push me away, I close the gap between our lips and press mine against hers. I wrap my arm around her waist, anchoring her to me as I deepen the kiss not knowing how else can comfort her right now. She tentatively reaches up, running her hand through my hair which is all the encouragement I need. I suck her bottom lip into my mouth; she moans in response and tugs at my hair just enough to make my dick start to stir. As I feel it twitching and threatening to make its presence known, I realize we need to stop before we both do something we would be regret. As much as it kills me, I pull back from Ana but keep her pressed against me. My heart is beating wildly; my breathing is heavy, almost as if I just finished running a marathon. God, I hope I wasn't wrong for kissing her; the last thing I want is for her to feel like I took advantage of her when she was upset.

"Ana, baby….tell me who hurt you."

"No one."

"That's not true and we both know it Ana. .you?"

"Christian, please let it go."

"I can't Ana. Someone hurt you and I want to know who. I need to make sure whoever hurt you can't hurt you again."

"He can't. He doesn't even live here; he can't hurt me again."

"He lives in New York," I suddenly realize that she didn't run to Seattle for love; she ran to Seattle to get away from someone.

"Yes."

"He's the reason you left; the reason you moved to Seattle."

"Yes."

"Who was he?"

"No one."

"Ana…."

"He was just a stupid guy that I thought loved me."

"He was your boyfriend?"

"Fiancé technically."

"You were going to marry him? Someone that hit you?"

"Please Christian. It's a part of my life I don't like to think about. I was young and incredibly stupid."

"Why would you stay with him Ana? You deserve so much better; no one should ever hit you."

"I didn't think anyone would ever love me; he was the first guy who acted like he cared about me. He would apologize after hitting me and tell me how much he loved me. I was stupid. I believed him. I believed that I deserved it every time he hit me. That I didn't deserve anything better."

"Why would you think that Ana? You're such a wonderful, loving, caring person. You deserve someone who treats you as such."

"I….that's not what I was told growing up. When you hear something often enough, you end up believing it."

"Oh Ana…"

"It's the past Christian….I don't like to think about it."

"What made you finally decide to leave? I'm grateful you finally did but-"

"He almost killed me one night."

"WHAT?!"

I'm fuming….I'm seeing red…..I'm going to kill the son of a bitch. What kind of fucking man almost kills the woman he supposedly loves? What type of man hits any woman?

"Please Christian…I don't want to talk about it. I finally woke up that night and left him; I worked with a wonderful group who helped me move out here. They made sure nothing from that night appeared in my medical records and helped me find a group in Seattle that could help me get my life back together."

"Ana….if he ever tries to contact you again I want you to tell me. Please, promise me you will tell me if you hear from him."

"I….I will Christian."

"Do you have nightmares a lot?"

"Not really. I mean, it's not like I have them every night or anything. I wish I didn't have them at all, but they always seem to hit when I least expect it."

"I know what you mean."

"You do?"

I don't respond, not wanting to admit that she's not the only one who suffers from nightmares. Unlike Ana though, my nightmares occur almost every night. It's rare to go a night without one; I've learned to just function on very little sleep. I've been in therapy for years, nothing stops the nightmares. I never would have expected Ana to have suffered from nightmares and never would have guessed the reason for her nightmares. I'm left with more questions unanswered than were answered tonight. What the fuck did this guy do to her? What did her mother do to her growing up to make her think she didn't deserve to be loved? Who the fuck is this low life who hurt her? I need to have Taylor dig into her background; I need to know who this fucker was. I need someone on him to make sure he can't hurt Ana ever again. I don't give a shit what happens in a few weeks when our arrangement ends; I'll pay any cost to ensure that this fucker stays far away from Ana. People like that shouldn't be allowed in society; there is no place for men who beat women.

"Christian," Ana moans softly pulling me from my angry thoughts.

I look down and realize that Ana is fast asleep, still wrapped in my arms. She moaned my name in her sleep….even though I have no idea why she did this, it makes me smile. I should leave; I should go back to my room and sleep in my own bed. I should leave Ana alone so things don't become awkward between us. Having Ana here isn't good; we are crossing too many lines this weekend. The right thing to do would be to head back to my room and go to sleep, pretending that I never came in here. The right thing to do would be to forget everything Ana just told me. The right thing to do would be to forget how great it feels to have Ana curled up next to me. To forget how amazing it feels to have her sleeping in my arms.

Unfortunately I've never been good at doing the right thing.


	23. Chapter 22

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 22 APOV:**

I'm hot….like I'm lying next to a fire hot. I force my eyes open needing to figure out why it's suddenly so hot in here. I can't sleep when it's this hot. When my eyes finally focus, I immediately realize why I'm so hot and it absolutely floors me. Christian, a shirtless Christian no less, is lying next to me sound asleep. His leg is wrapped over mine and his arm rests across my stomach. It takes me a minute to remember how he ended up in here with me. I can't help but panic remembering the nightmare I had last night that brought him into my room. I never wanted to him to know about my past; I never expected there to be a reason for him to know about my nightmares. I never thought we would ever be sleeping under the same roof so in my mind there would never be a chance for him to find out about my ex. You just don't randomly bring up over dinner that you dated an asshole who liked to hit you. You especially don't discuss things like that with a guy who is paying you to go on dates with him. That is not part of the contract. He wants and needs someone who is complication free; he doesn't want to sit and talk about someone's horrible childhood or the stupid mistakes they made as an adult.

I take one last glance at Christian, one last deep breath inhaling his scent, before I slide myself out from his grip. I immediately feel….empty. I can't remember the last time I had someone's arms around me like that. I can't remember the last time someone cuddled me after a nightmare; hell I can't remember the last time someone held me period. I would love nothing more than to stay in bed, to stay wrapped in Christian's arms all day, but unfortunately I know things are going to be awkward enough when he wakes up. I don't want to make things more awkward; I don't want to give Christian any more of a reason to cancel our arrangement.

I look back at Christian sound asleep in the bed that I laid in only moments ago before stepping into the hallway and closing the door behind me. I head down to the kitchen, determined to make breakfast and a pot of coffee before Christian wakes up. I need to wrap my head around everything that happened last night before he wakes up. I need to wrap my head around how I feel about everything that happened. God, it felt so good to sleep in Christian's arms. I don't know why he came into my room last night when he could have just ignored my screams. I don't know why he laid in bed next to me when he could have just called my name or shook me awake like they used to at the shelter. I don't know why he held me even when I'm sure I fought him; I don't know why he kissed me. His lips felt amazing against mine; the kiss was so different than the one at the awards dinner. It was full of emotion, which doesn't make sense because this is just a business transaction. Christian doesn't have a feelings for me. He probably just felt sorry for me; perhaps that's what I felt in the kiss….sympathy.

And then he stayed in my bed….all night. He slept next to me the entire night when he could have easily went back to the guest room he was supposed to stay in. Why would he have stayed there? Why didn't he go back to his room? Maybe he was going to return to his room but accidently fell asleep? Maybe he thought I would be mad if he left?

 _Did Christian have any problems during the night? –Grace_

 _No, his fever remained down and he ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup with veggies before bed without a problem. – Ana_

 _Good to hear! He might not have a bad case since he didn't eat all of the chicken –Grace_

 _What can he have for breakfast? Should we stick with soup or can he have something else? – Ana_

 _Something light should be okay. Nothing greasy or too heavy though. –Grace_

 _Great, thanks! –Ana_

 _I'll stop by later this evening to check on him. If he holds down breakfast without a problem and his fever doesn't return I don't see the need for you to stay another night. –Grace_

 _Thanks –Ana_

I should be happy at Grace's text; I mean of course I'm happy that Christian is feeling better and doesn't need me to stay. When I first read her text though, I couldn't help but feel disappointed that my time here was coming to an end. I don't know why, but I was kind of looking forward to spending more time with Christian especially now that he is feeling better. I learned a lot more about Christian yesterday than I did over the few dinners and events we've been to together. I knew after the night my apartment was broken into that Christian was caring, but last night just went beyond anything I could have imagined. Christian comforted me in a way that no one has ever been able to. In all the years I've had nightmares, no one made me feel as safe as Christian did last night. No one made me feel protected the way he did.

I suppose it's a good thing that my stay here is coming to an end earlier than originally planned; we've crossed quite a few lines this weekend that are going to be hard to uncross. After the way he held me and talked to me last night, I don't know how we go back to our business arrangement. Do we just pretend like this weekend never happened? I can feel the heat rushing to my face remembering how good it felt to be held by Christian last night and how good it felt to have him kiss me the way he did last night. That was a side of Christian that I had no idea existed under the CEO façade he puts on every day. I've caught a few glimpses of the person underneath that persona but last night I realized Christian really is nothing I ever expected.

I wish I had someone to talk to about all of this. Not only am I bound by the NDA I signed with Elena and Christian, I really don't have anyone I could talk to about this even if it wasn't for the agreement I signed. I don't have any friends and haven't in a long time. I was friendly with a few girls in college but once I had to quit we lost touch. There were a few people from the restaurant I thought I could have become friends with over time but that was all forgotten when I had to quit that job. I'm not very friendly with anyone at the bakery other than Ginny. I briefly consider talking with Elena but quickly decide against it. What if she determines that I violated the contract with Christian and therefore she fires me? What if she ends the contract between me and Christian? I don't even know what I would say to Elena; I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling or even what I'm thinking. Christian and I have kissed a few times but I don't think that violates the contract. I vaguely remember Elena saying that we could amend the physical contact portion of our contract as I became more comfortable with the person I was contracted with. I suppose we technically violated the contract since the contract hasn't been amended yet but I don't think it's that big of deal. I'm more concerned that Elena will think I violated the contract by being here this weekend. All contact is supposed to go through Elena; we're not supposed to make arrangements to see each other without involving her. This weekend was extenuating circumstances though…

"Something smells good," Christian's voice pulls me from my worries.

"Your mom said you could try a real meal this morning as long as it was light and non greasy. I was just finishing an egg white omelet with veggies and a little cheese."

"It smells really good but you didn't need to cook for me Ana."

"I was up so it wasn't a big deal. Do you want to try coffee? Or maybe tea?"

"Coffee would be wonderful. I'll get it."

The coffee pot is right next to the stove where I'm making our breakfast which puts Christian right next to me as he prepares his coffee. I can feel myself blushing immediately remembering how it felt to have his body pressed against mine last night and his body wrapped around me this morning when I woke up. When he returns to the breakfast bar the air around me suddenly feels cooler and I can't help but wish he hadn't left the spot where he was standing.

"If you don't like it-"

"Ana, you haven't made anything that I haven't liked so I have no doubt this will taste just as good as everything you've made has."

"Your mom said she would stop by later this afternoon to check on you but that if you keep down breakfast and your fever doesn't return you won't need me here any longer."

"Oh….that's good. I'm sure you have things to do."

We sit in silence finishing our breakfast, both of us seem to be avoiding the topic of last night. I don't know what to say to him. Do I apologize for having the nightmare? Do I thank him for waking me? For holding me all night? For comforting me? For kissing me? How the hell does someone handle this? I don't know that there is a protocol for how you deal with someone the morning after they wake you up and hold you all night following a nightmare. I suppose this would be different if we were friends or lovers, at least then we would be emotionally invested in our relationship. This is different because we're not emotionally invested in this business transaction…at least Christian isn't. I think I could be…

"Do you return to work tomorrow or are you off?" Once again Christian pulls me from my thoughts.

"I'm scheduled to work in the morning. What about you? Are you going to GEH tomorrow?"

"Probably not, I think I'll work from home tomorrow. My office is set up so that I can work entirely from here so my assistant will only need to rearrange any face to face meetings I had scheduled for tomorrow. I think I'll spend one more day at home before venturing to the office. I don't need my employees concerned that I'm sick; it's the reason I didn't want to go to the hospital. It's not unusual for me to periodically work from home so it won't raise any red flags for anyone if I spend the day here tomorrow."

"It's good that you have that flexibility."

"It is. I usually work a lot of evenings and weekends from here so having a fully equipped office is essential."

"Do you ever not work?" I can't help but giggle. It seems he works constantly; long hours at the office only to return home to work more hours. No wonder he said he doesn't have time to date…it really doesn't.

"Not really. Even when I've taken a vacation I don't completely disconnect from the office. I can't….when you run your own business like I do, a day completely off means a risk that something could happen. I've taken a day here and there of course, but even during those times I've never been completely unavailable to my staff. Roz always knows how to reach me if something comes up."

"What do you like to do when you are able to take a day or two off?"

"I love gliding and spending time on the open water. I have a boat that I don't get to use nearly as much as I should. I love spending a day on the open water…sometimes I'll just spend an entire day on the boat. There's something so calming about being on the water, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never been on a boat before."

"Never?" I shake my head. "Wow….you have no idea what you're missing. I don't know if it's the rocking from the waves or just the fact that you can look for miles and see nothing but blue; whatever it is it's relaxing. You should try it sometime."

"Maybe."

"What about you? When you're not working, what do you like to do?"

"I like to read, so I spend a lot of time at the library. I've always loved to cook and bake although the last apartment I lived in wasn't really conducive to cooking. Since I've moved…since I've been staying downstairs I have been cooking a lot more. I love to try new recipes or make up ones on my own. There's something very satisfying about making an entire meal from scratch."

"I wouldn't know. Unfortunately I can't cook very much. A frozen pizza, spaghetti and anything that can be prepared in the microwave is pretty much the extent of my cooking skills."

"I'm sure you could follow a recipe-"

"Nope. I can barely follow the instructions Gail leaves me on the food she freezes for the weekends when she is off. I get too distracted; I'll start following a recipe or the heating instructions and then end up engulfed in emails or something work related. The next thing you know whatever I was making it burnt to a crisp."

"I guess I could see how that could happen."

We spend the next few hours learning more about each other as we lounge on the couch in the great room of Christian's apartment. I learn that he plays the piano beautifully; I even talked him into playing a piece for me which was incredibly moving. I have absolutely no musical ability so watching someone play something so easily was amazing for me. I learn more about Christian's family, although he doesn't talk about the time in his life before he was adopted. I don't ask about it because not only is it really none of my business but I want to respect his privacy in the way that he is respecting mine. At no point during our conversation does he ask any questions about my nightmare or even about my childhood. It dawns on me that he is likely purposely omitting those questions knowing how I don't like to talk about them.

"Christian?" I hear Grace's voice from the foyer.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"I told Ana….Oh hi Ana! I wasn't expecting you to still be here," she quickly hugs me hello when she realizes I was sitting on the couch. "Are you still not feeling well Christian? Is your fever back? Is your stomach-"

"I'm fine Mom. Ana and I were just talking," Christian quickly interrupts her.

"Oh good. I was hoping you didn't start feeling bad again," she sighs.

"I'm going to gather my stuff," I quickly excuse myself wanting to give them some privacy.

I make my way back to the guest room upstairs; the bed is still in a complete disarray from last night. I quickly make the bed, not wanting to leave it a mess for Gail when she comes back tomorrow. I take a quick shower and pack up the few belongings I brought with me on Friday when I packed in a hurry to stay the weekend. I straighten up the room hoping to leave it as pristine as it was when I arrived on Friday; the last thing I want is to create more work for someone.

"Christian?" I walk into the great room expecting to see Grace and Christian still talking or at least Christina.

"In here," his voice comes from his office.

"I was thinking I would get going-"

"Can you come in here for a moment?"

"Sure."

"Have a seat."

I sit in a chair across from a stunning dark red desk that is covered with papers and files. I glance around the room, three of the walls have floor to ceiling bookshelves built into them with each shelf filled with books. The other wall has a long table against it filled with different office supplies including what appears to be a printer, shredder, scanner and a fax machine. I suppose he is truly set up to work completely from home like he said.

"This is for you," he hands me a small white envelope. I open it, confused as to what it might be, and a wave of emotions come over me.

"What is this?" I look at the check in complete disbelief.

"Since we didn't make arrangements for this weekend through Elena I didn't feel it was necessary to send the payment through her. If you would prefer that-"

"Payment?"

"For this weekend. I calculated your hourly rate by the number of hours you spent here this weekend. I added in a little extra since this was last minute and you had to miss your cooking classes-"

"I….I can't accept this."

"Why not?"

"Christian…this weekend….we weren't…."

I'm completely mortified that he would give me this check. I don't understand why he suddenly reverted back to our business arrangement. Was it because I said I needed to leave? Was he always planning on paying me or did something happen to change his mind? I don't think anything could have happened-

"You spent the weekend with me; why would you not accept this?"

"I….I didn't do it because of our contract Christian."

"Then why did you do it? Why didn't you tell Taylor and my mother that you were busy? You had plans, Ana. You were supposed to attend that class-"

"You're right I was. But I changed my plans. It wasn't an issue. You needed someone here with you and I was able to rearrange things to be that person."

"Which is why you should take this," he hands me the check that I laid on his desk.

"No."

"No?"

"No. I'm not taking this. We didn't go through Elena to arrange this which means this is outside of our contract-"

"Which is why-"

"No. I refuse to accept this money Christian. I didn't do this because of a stupid contract."

"Then why did you do this?"

"Because you needed someone Christian!"

"But why you? You could have walked away, I don't understand why you would do something like this and then not let me pay you!"

"Then I guess you don't know me at all Christian."

"I know you needed money, that was the reason you signed up with Elena to begin with. You wanted to better your life. You wanted to go back to school and finish your degree. You wanted a safer place to live. Take this money and use it for that Ana. Please….you earned it this weekend."

"I earned it?"

"Yes…you took care of me this weekend. You made sure I stayed hydrated, you gave me medicine round the clock, you stayed up half the night and you cooked for me."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Should I pay you?"

"Pay me? For what? What would _you_ pay _me_ for?"

"For last night….should I pay you for the time you spent comforting me?"

"What?! No, of course not! That was different!"

"Why? Why was it different?"

"I….I don't know it just was."

"I'm not taking this money Christian. This weekend had nothing to do with our contract with Elena and if you think that's all this was…"

"Then why did you do it Ana?"

"Good bye Christian."


	24. Chapter 23

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews on the last chapter! I was surprised that a couple readers thought Ana should have accepted the money from Christian. Although no one explained their reason, I'm assuming they thought this would keep the arrangement more of a business transaction? I could definitely see why people thought that…As you learn more about Christian's ex I think you will understand why I wrote Ana's decision the way I did. By the way, I know you are eagerly awaiting those details and I think you may get them in the very near future._

 _Author's Note 2: Sorry about the formatting issues. I have no idea what happened!_

 **Chpt. 23 CPOV:**

What the fuck just happened? Did she really just walk out on me? I thought I was doing the right thing; I thought I was doing what she expected? Why the fuck would she not accept my check? Who the fuck turns down fifteen thousand dollars?

 _Earlier_

 _"How are you feeling Christian?"_

 _"I'm good Mom. Ana made me an egg white omelet this morning and I had about half a cup of coffee. My stomach feels fine and my fever hasn't returned."_

 _"That's such a relief dear. Most of the people who attended the dinner with you are still in the hospital and are struggling to keep even liquids down. It probably helped that you didn't eat all of the chicken they served or you would be in the same boat."_

 _"I don't know how anyone finished that dinner, it was so bland. Ana and I were even talking about stopping somewhere for dinner after the awards ceremony since we were both still hungry."_

 _"You're really lucky to have Ana son. Not a lot of women would have given up their weekend to take care of their sick boyfriend."_

 _"I'm very grateful she was able to keep me out of the hospital."_

 _"Why haven't you brought her to Sunday dinner yet? She really is a wonderful woman, a real breath of fresh air."_

 _"I know, I will. We've been busy and our schedules don't always match up," I hate lying to her but I never expected this arrangement to become so personal. Obviously I knew Ana would meet my parents at the gala and possibly different dinners, but I never expected my mother to take such a liking to Ana. I never pictured her attending Sunday dinners at my parents' house, hugging my mom…..that she would fit in so well._

 _"She is so much better than-"_

 _"Don't say her name."_

 _"I'm just saying, there's no way she would have given up her weekend to take care of you. I don't think that bitch ever cared about anyone other than herself."_

 _I'm floored….I can't remember the last time I heard my mother curse. She doesn't use that type of language, not ever. We were never allowed to curse growing up and even know she is quick to reprimand us if we use that type of language in her presence. How did I not see how much my mother hated her?_

 _"I never realized how much you didn't like her before."_

 _"You were blinded by her and unfortunately only saw what she wanted you to see. No one liked her; it wasn't just me. Your dad, Elliot and Mia….no one could stand her. Don't you remember how uncomfortable those dinners where when you were bringing her over? I suspect she felt it which is why she suddenly started making plans every Sunday night."_

 _"I guess she did."_

 _"She never would have done what Ana did for you this weekend son, you have to know that. She would have asked what was in it for her. She would have expected something in return. People like her don't do things for other people if there's nothing for them to gain."_

 _"Ana did-"_

 _"Ana's nothing like she was, anyone could see that. Ana loves you-"_

 _"No-"_

 _"She does. I'm guessing you two haven't told each other that yet, but I can see it every time you two are together. She gave up her weekend to move in here with you; despite what she says I'm sure she had something to do-"_

 _"She was registered for a cooking class this weekend."_

 _"Yet she didn't blink an eye to give it all up for you son. I'm assuming she expects absolutely nothing in return either. She's just that type of person. She's good for you Christian and I just don't mean because of this weekend. You stayed the entire night at the Coping Together Gala, something you haven't done since you were a teenager and I forced you to stay. You just seem happier with Ana; happier than I think I ever saw you with…"_

I don't know what to think anymore; I thought I was doing the right thing by compensating her for the time she spent here this weekend. I assumed the only reason she stayed on Friday night rather than say she was busy was because she saw a way to make more money. I know she wants to go back to school and those cooking classes couldn't have been cheap for her. Even without paying rent on an apartment, I know she still has bills to pay. Was it completely wrong to assume she saw a way to make money and put some aside? Her bank account barely had a couple hundred dollars in it when Taylor ran her background check. How could she not see this as an opportunity to make a large amount of money all at once? As a way to build up her bank account so she could afford to go back to school or to take more classes? How could I know that my mom might have been right? That Ana never expected a payout from this weekend?

I replay the conversation with Ana before she left my office trying to figure out what I missed or where I went wrong.

 _"I refuse to accept this money Christian. I didn't do this because of a stupid contract."_

 _"Then why did you do this?"_

 _"Because you needed someone Christian!"_

 _"But why you? You could have walked away, I don't understand why you would do something like this and then not let me pay you!"_

 _"Then I guess you don't know me at all Christian."_

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

 _"Should I pay you for the time you spent comforting me?"_

 _"What?! No, of course not! That was different!"_

 _"Why? Why was it different?"_

 _"I….I don't know it just was."_

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

I fucked up….I fucked up big time.

I never considered how she would feel about me coming into her room last night after her nightmare. We both avoided talking about it which I thought was a good thing; I thought I was keeping things separate. I thought I was keeping things from becoming awkward between us. Since she didn't bring it up I assumed she wanted to talk to about it. I went into her room last night to comfort her; I couldn't stand the thought of her being in pain even if the pain was only in a nightmare. I didn't do it because I thought she would pay me for doing it! How could she think-

FUCK!

Oh fuck….oh fuck….oh fuck…..

She agreed to stay with me Friday night because she wanted to comfort me; she wanted to take care of me the same way I wanted to take care of her last night. FUCK! How the fuck do I fix this? How fucking stupid could I be? I should have known that she wouldn't have wanted the money; I should have known that she wouldn't have expected to be paid for taking care of me. I need to find a way to fix this. How the fuck do I fix this? I should call her….FUCK….I don't have her phone number. All part of this stupid contract with Elena so we both can keep our privacy; I don't think privacy matters anymore, we fucking slept in the same bed last night!

God, it felt so good to have Ana in my arms last night. I woke up a few hours after we both fell asleep and just watched Ana sleep for a little while. She looked so peaceful in my arms; it was hard to believe that the woman in my arms was the one who thought no one would ever love her. I don't understand how Ana could have thought so little about herself. This is the woman who gave up everything for me this weekend so I wouldn't have to go to a hospital. This is a woman who agreed to help Mia with a dance auction without even knowing what that would entail.

I eventually fell back to sleep but not until Ana rolled over and snuggled back into me so her back was against my chest. It was as if she was seeking me out in her sleep. I've never slept with a woman before. I never shared a bed with _her_ ; the risk of having a nightmare was always too great. I would never forgive myself if I accidently injured _her_ during a nightmare; although after what _she_ did, I might reconsider that notion. Although thinking back at that time in my life, I don't know that I ever really wanted to sleep with her. She was a good fuck but I never held her in my arms the way I held Ana last night. I never wanted to hold her in my arms. Yet last night, I couldn't bring myself to leave Ana. Even when I was awake and watching her sleep, I knew I should have left to keep things professional between us yet I couldn't bring myself to do that. I have never felt this way about someone before; I'm not sure what it means that I felt like this with Ana last night.

I don't know what to do. The lines are getting blurred; this weekend has changed everything. I had a hard enough time keeping my thoughts professional after seeing her in that bikini but after this weekend I don't know how I can still see Ana as a business transaction. How can I look at her and only think of our contract? How do I forget what it felt like to have her body against mine?

But more importantly, how do I fix what happened tonight? I may not fully understand why Ana would give up her entire weekend, including the classes she has been looking forward to, just to take care of me but I now know it wasn't about the money. Perhaps she just did it because that's the kind of person she is and to her it meant nothing. But what if by some chance it did mean something? What if she is having trouble with the blurred lines between us? Maybe the kiss at dinner the other night wasn't just for show…

If Ana feels that way, I'm even more fucked that I thought I was. I can't have her thinking of this arrangement as anything more than a business transaction. I'm the last person she needs to be falling for. I'm no good for her; I'm nothing that she needs in her life. She needs someone without baggage, without complications and I come with a truckload.

"Good evening Mr. Grey," Taylor pulls me from my thoughts a few hours later.

"Taylor….I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow morning? I thought your flight was Monday?"

"It wasn't but Gail and I were able to take an earlier flight. How are you feeling sir?"

"Much better, thank you Taylor. Ana left a few hours ago after my mother gave me the all clear. I think I'm going to work from home tomorrow and will return to the office Tuesday."

"Very good sir. Is there anything you need?"

"I need to send flowers to Ana. Can you arrange for someone to deliver her a bouquet tomorrow when she gets home from the bakery?"

"Of course sir. What would you like the card to say?"

"I'm sorry, please call me. Have it signed with my first name and my cell phone number."

"Yes sir."

"Oh and Taylor…I want a more thorough background check done on Ana ASAP."

"Anything in particular I should be looking for?"

"She had a fiancé before she moved to Seattle. They lived in New York. I want…I need to know who he is. He….he beat her. According to her one night he almost killed her-"

"There was nothing that would have suggested an abusive relationship in her medical records-"

"She said she worked with a group who made sure those details from that night didn't make it into her file. Was there anything in her medical records that maybe were documented as something else?"

"Give me a minute, I'll grab her file from my office."

Taylor quickly grabs the file and returns to my office. Thankfully he is as organized as I am and can find anything immediately. Taylor has been working for me for a number of years now; he was the first person I hired when it became obvious I needed security outside of GEH. I have never regretted hiring him even if we butt heads at times.

"Well…."

"What is it?"

"She had an emergency room visit a couple years ago; she stated she fell down the stairs but the injuries could suggest something else."

"What type of injuries?"

"A few broken ribs, a gash on her arm requiring stitches, bruises on her cheek and a bump on her head. The notes in the file indicate that she had several older bruises at the time but she attributed them to bumping into things around the house. The hospital staff treated her and sent her home in a few hours; it isn't noted that anyone suspected anything other than the fall."

"I need to know who she was with at that time and then I want to know everything about him. Once you find him, I want his whereabouts tracked. He should be residing in New York or somewhere he could easily commute to the city from. I want to know if he leaves the state at anytime."

"Do we consider him a threat sir?"

"We haven't received a threat from him yet but I want to do everything we can to ensure he never comes near Ana again."

"Has she stated if she heard from him since he left?"

"She didn't say and I didn't ask."

"You said she ended things with him when she moved here?"

"Yes, she said she left New York and moved to Seattle to get away from him."

"And we assume he is still in New York?"

"Yes….why? What are you getting at Taylor?"

"She moved here….roughly two years ago. If he hasn't contacted her since she left him, you have to wonder why not? Abusers typically don't let their women just walk away from them."

"What are you thinking?"

"The only reason he would stay away is if she has something she can use against him. Something that could ruin him if it were ever discovered. She agrees to keep it out of the press in exchange for letting her go."

"Those envelopes….the day we moved her from the apartment, remember she had two envelopes hidden that she insisted she take with her?"

"That's what gave me the thought when you said she was abused. First I assumed they were childhood mementos or maybe paperwork she wanted to keep safe but now I wonder if they weren't her insurance policy."

"I assumed the same thing."

"I'll start digging into who her ex might have been and will let you know as soon as I find something on him sir."

"Very good. And Taylor…thank you for returning a day early."

"Of course sir."

The next few days pass by slowly; Ana doesn't respond to my flowers even though I have Taylor arranging for them to be sent daily to her apartment. I know she received them; Sawyer confirmed that she has them. Why hasn't she called me? Did I fuck things up that bad with her? What if she has decided she needs to end our arrangement? The thought of not seeing her again makes me feel…..I don't know what but I can't stand the thought of not seeing her. Of course I have nothing on my schedule this week that I need Ana to accompany me to so I can't even see her under that excuse. I'm tempted to schedule something anyway, to call Elena and ask her to arrange for a private _date_ with Ana but what if that just fucks up things even more between us?

"Sir?"

"Yes Taylor?"

"We need to leave for your appointment with Dr. Flynn."

I completely forgot I had Andrea schedule an appointment with my shrink, Dr. Flynn today. I've been seeing different therapists since I was a child. At first it was to help me adjust to losing my mother and being adopted into a new family. As I got older it was to help me deal with the anger I seemed to not know how to deal with. I stopped going for a few years when I first started building GEH; my life was too busy to worry about seeing a therapist weekly. I started seeing Dr. Flynn a few years ago after the stress at GEH started effecting my sleeping patterns and my mom was threatening to admit me into a hospital because I wasn't sleeping. I've been seeing him a few times a month ever since; he's pretty good at helping me think things through or just listening to the shit going on in my life at that time.

"Christian, it's good to see you again."

"John," I nod to the British therapist and take my usual seat across from his desk.

"You weren't scheduled to see me until next week, but Andrea said you needed to see me sooner?"

"Yes."

"Want to tell me what's going on?"

"I fucked up John….big time. I need you to tell me how to fix it. I've been sending her flowers…something I've never done! Flowers aren't working though. I thought women wanted flowers?"

"Okay, let's back up. Why don't you tell me what you fucked up?"

"Ana."

"I'm not a mind reader Christian….you're going to have to give me more information if we're going to sort through this."

"We went out Friday night for an awards dinner. I gave a speech…and then she kissed me."

"This was the first time you've kissed I assume?"

"Yes…and she initiated it."

"This bothers you?"

"No…yes….I don't know."

"What were you thinking the moment she kissed you? Close your eyes, think back to that night. Think about the room, the sounds around you and the speech you gave."

"I finished the speech and walked towards our table where Ana was standing waiting for me. She had tears in her eyes. She leaned up and kissed me. I was shocked; I remember being frozen in that spot not knowing how to react."

"Eventually you reacted?"

"Yes, but then I pulled back because I knew if I didn't we would have made a scene."

"Okay, what happened after the kiss? Did you talk about it?"

"No."

"No?"

"I came down with food poisoning from the meal I had. Taylor and Ana brought me back to Escala and my mother saw me. She wanted to admit me into the hospital but agreed to let me stay at home if someone was there the entire time to watch over me. Taylor and Gail were off for the weekend; they were attending Gail's niece's wedding or something like that. I was really out of it, I think I was sleeping or passed out when it was decided Ana would stay the weekend with me."

"Okay…."

"So things seemed to be fine. I mean of course I was shocked when I woke up on Saturday and learned that not only was she spending the weekend in my apartment but that she slept in my room with me."

"How did she react to your nightmares?"

"I don't know if I didn't have one or if she just didn't bring it up. I can't remember having one but I was pretty out of it."

"Go on…"

"Anyway, we spent the day together just sort of I guess hanging out in my apartment. My mother stopped by and refused to allow Ana to leave, threatening me if I told her to go home that she would admit me into the hospital. Finally on Sunday my mother came back and cleared me; she said Ana could leave, that I no longer needed someone to watch over me. That's when I really fucked things up with Ana."

"What happened?"

"When she said she was going to leave I asked her to come into my office and I gave her a check for fifteen thousand dollars. She refused to take it John! Can you believe it?"

"Did she say why she refused to accept your money?"

"She said she didn't do it because of the contract we had. I tried telling her that I was just trying to compensate her for the time she spent taking care of me but then she turned the tables somehow and suggested that she should have paid me."

"I'm not following Christian. Why would she suggest she should pay you?"

"Oh….I forgot. She had nightmare on Saturday night, I went into her room to wake her up but ended up lying in bed with her and holding her. We talked for a while; I learned she had been in an abusive relationship with some dick who hit her which was what her nightmare was about. She said she only left he the bastard almost fucking killed her!"

"So after the nightmare you went back to your room?"

"No….that…..I slept with her. I mean, I didn't fuck her or anything. We just slept in the same bed together."

"You slept with her?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting…"

"She suggested that she should pay me because I took care of her the night before. When I said that was different she asked me how."

"What did you say?"

"That it just was."

"How did your conversation with Ana end?"

"She told me the reason she stayed had nothing to do with the arrangement we have through Elena. I asked her again then why did she stay; the first time she told me if I didn't know the answer to that than I didn't know her very well at all."

"And the second time you asked that question?"

"She said goodbye and walked out of the apartment."

"I see."

"I've sent her flowers every fucking day, apologizing and asking her to call me. She hasn't responded! Not once! I don't know how to make her forgive me John! Tell me what I need to do! I thought all women wanted flowers! I need to fix this! I can't have her end our arrangement!"

"Why not Christian? You told me from the beginning this arrangement was only going to last a few months, just long enough to get the press of your back about your personal life. It's been….what….two months-"

"Almost three."

"It sounds like the time was approaching to end the contract anyway. Did you want to be the one to end it is that what this is about?"

"No."

"Then why would it bother you if Ana ended the contract now?"

"I don't know."

"I think you."

"FUCK John!"

He sits in silence just staring at me and occasionally writing something down. He's right and he fucking knows it. I sat here last time telling John I would end the contract in a few weeks when I was confident the press would be convinced that I had nothing to hide and would leave me alone.

"Because I don't want to break the contract," I finally admit aloud.

"Why not Christian?"

"You know why John!"

"Tell me."

"Because….Fuck! Just because John!"

"Because why Christian?"

"Because our arrangement works. I get the press off my back and Ana gets the money she needs to go back to school. It's a win win situation for everyone."

"It is. But let me ask you this, is this the only reason you don't want the contract to end?"

"No. I enjoy spending time with Ana. I learned a lot about her this weekend and enjoyed having her with me. I think….we've become friends."

"Have you told Ana that?"

"No! Why would I?"

"Is it possible Ana feels the same way about your arrangement?"

"I'm sure she is happy with it. She hasn't complained."

"I don't mean about the arrangement and contract itself. Is it possible that Ana thinks about you the same way you think about her? That perhaps she also thinks you two are becoming friends?"

"I….I don't know. I guess."

"Let's go back to your conversation with Ana. Why do you honestly think she stayed with you over the weekend when she could have easily said she had plans?"

"I don't know."

"Why would she volunteer to stay with you Christian?"

"Because she thinks of me as a friend?"

"It sounds like she cares for you Christian."

"My mom thinks we're in love," I shake my head remembering the conversation with her in my kitchen that day.

"Oh?"

"She says she can tell by the way we look at each other. I guess Ana and I are just better actors than I thought we were."

"Is love possible?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"This is business John. Nothing more than a contract between two people. I'm not fucking going down that road again. I'm not opening my heart up and letting someone…..I'm not repeating my past."

"And you think Ana is like-"

"No of course not. The fact that she didn't take the money proves that she isn't."

"Is that what the money was about Christian?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was the money a test?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Are you sure? You offered her a very large amount of money after she spent the weekend in your home, caring for you and sharing her secrets with you. Is it possible that you realized you were getting too close and needed to find out if she was just like-"

"Don't fucking compare Ana to that bitch! Ana is nothing like her!"

"And her not taking the check proves that doesn't it?"

"Yes! I mean no…..it's not just that."

"Isn't it though?"

"No! Ana couldn't be more different than she was!"

"Yet you thought she stayed with this weekend because of money."

FUCK could John be right? Could I have been testing Ana without knowing it? I thought I was just doing the right thing. I thought I was helping Ana out after she helped me.

"Do you think that's how she saw it?"

"I don't know. She could have felt like you were trying to be nice, she could have felt that you were trying to buy her off or she could have felt like a whore-"

"What?! Don't you talk about Ana like that!"

"Christian….you shared your first kiss, slept in the same bed and at least on her part shared rather personal information. Then as soon as your mother said you didn't need her there any longer you offer her money and essentially kick her out."

"That's not-"

"Isn't it?"

FUCK! Does she really feel like I treated her like a whore? That I was ungrateful for what she did?

"How the fuck do I fix this John? I can't have her thinking that about herself. Tell me what to do; tell me how to fix this."

"You need to talk to her Christian. Flowers are wonderful, but it sounds like Ana is not the type of woman who wants or needs material items. I think it would mean more if you talked to her."

"How can I fucking talk to her if she won't call me?"

"Find a way Christian. Get her alone and talk to her. And while you're talking to her, I think it's time you tell her a little about your past. She needs to understand why you thought that Ana wouldn't have stayed just because she cared about you."

"Everyone always wants something from me….anyone else would have expected something from me for what she did."

"Not everyone Christian; your parents wouldn't have, your sister….your brother, I don't think they would have expected something just because they spent the weekend with you. It sounds like your mother was over several times this weekend and I'm sure she called to check in on you."

"She texted with Ana."

"And did she expect anything in return?"

"No, but she's family, that's different."

"Is it?"

"Of course! Ana's not my family; she isn't obligated to take care of me!"

"You're right, she choose to spend the weekend with you not expecting anything in return."

"I just wanted to thank her for taking care of me, for canceling her plans and spending the entire weekend in my apartment instead of her own."

"And did you do that? Did you say that to her?"

"Yes…." I did….didn't I? FUCK! Maybe I didn't.

"Christian?"

"I don't know. I thought I did, but I don't remember."

"When you gave her the money, what did you say?"

"I told her it payment for her time," I cringe even repeating those words. I'm embarrassed at myself thinking back to how I handled the entire situation. How the fuck did I not think to thank her? I mean I did earlier at some point, but not when I gave her the check which is when everything changed.

"Then I think you need to thank her for what she did."

"How do I do that John? I've been sending flowers but I don't think sending more with a different note will make a difference."

"No I doubt they will. I think you need to find a different way to thank Ana. Think of something she wants to do or maybe somewhere she would like to go and take her there. Don't make this about publicity, in fact if you can do something alone that would go a long way in showing her you don't have an ulterior motive."

"I can do that."

"And Christian? Don't pay her at the end of the day."


	25. Chapter 24

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 24 APOV:**

My apartment is beginning to look like a florist shop! Christian has been sending me flowers every day this week; each beautiful floral arrangement comes with the same card "I'm sorry; call me." If I knew what to say to him I would call him; if I thought he knew what he was apologizing for I would call him. I don't think he understands how or why what he did upset me. Hell, I don't fully understand myself why it bothered me so much. I've been trying to figure that out all week. On one hand, I can see why maybe he felt obligated to pay me. That was after all what our arrangement has been up until this weekend; it's been about him paying me for my time. Granted the payment was sent through Elena, but the premise still remains; he still paid for my time. On the other hand though, I felt like that weekend went far beyond the arrangement we had until that point. We got to know each other on a much more personal level. Maybe that wasn't how he viewed the weekend?

Until this weekend, I haven't spent any real time completely alone with a man in more than two years. When I left _him_ that night, I swore I would never place myself at risk again. That I would never trust a man that much ever again which meant that I would never be completely alone with one. It was one of my initial concerns I brought up with Elena when she first approached me about signing a contract. I refused to meet with him alone in his office or go on business trips with someone until I felt comfortable with him. Yet, thinking back to the conversation with Grace and Taylor, none of those thoughts never impacted my decision to stay the weekend with Christian. What's more surprising though is that at no point during that weekend did I feel unsafe or at risk being alone with Christian. Maybe it was because I knew that Sawyer was nearby….

 _Beep beep beep_

My alarm goes off, quickly pulling me from my thoughts. I've been up for a few hours already; after waking up at four every morning this week, my body seems to just wake up at that time naturally. I wasn't originally scheduled to work today; in fact I was kind of looking forward to having a day off since I've been working every day this week. Unfortunately one of the new girls that Ginny hired needed to change her schedule today, so Ginny asked me to work a few hours. The only nice thing was I didn't need to be at the bakery until ten which meant I could have slept in a few hours. Of course my body decided I still needed to be awake at four in the morning so I've been lying here in this incredibly soft bed for the last few hours trying to figure out what to do about the situation with Christian.

Elena called me yesterday and gave me the schedule for the next two weeks; Christian apparently has a few events he needs to attend that he has requested me to accompany him at. I was surprised that he was still requesting me to accompany him to these events. When I first saw her name appear on my caller ID, I just assumed she was calling to let me know that Christian had decided to terminate our arrangement. In the split second before I answered the call, I started panicking about where I was going to live. In fact, that thought hasn't been far from my mind all week. Thankfully because I haven't been paying rent, I've been able to save a decent amount of money that I've received from Elena. I probably have enough that I could afford the security deposit and first month's rent at a decent apartment. My concern though is how I would maintain that apartment once my savings account dried up. I don't want to go back to the shitty apartment I rented before. I want to live in a place that I felt safe walking into and didn't have to worry about people getting drunk or high on my front steps.

 _Beep beep beep_

My alarm reminds me that I really need to get out of bed and get ready for my shift at the bakery today. I'm only going in for a few hours so afterwards I plan to get caught up on laundry and maybe do some shopping for the events Elena called me about. I still have figured out what to do about Christian…I know I need to talk to him but I don't know how to explain why what he did hurt me. I guess it bothered me the most because I trusted him to spend that much time alone with him yet I didn't feel that he trusted me. Trust isn't the right word; of course he trusted me – why wouldn't he? Now that I think more about it I think I overreacted to what Christian did. Clearly he didn't see our arrangement as anything but a contract and he was acting out part of that contract by offering me money. I overreacted because clearly I thought the weekend was about more than the contract. I thought we were developing a friendship and that he would see that I offered to stay with him because we were friends and not because of a contract. Realizing I overreacted, I vow to call Christian as soon as I back to the apartment this afternoon. I don't know exactly what I will say but I know I need to apologize to him.

I quickly jump in the shower and get ready for work. It's really warm out today, so warm that I wish I could wear shorts to work but of course that isn't safe or acceptable. Instead I'm stuck wearing jeans and the bakery t shirt with the store's logo on it. I love that my apartment has a balcony on it; it's convenient to be able to step outside in the morning and have a cup of coffee.

 _Knock knock_

"Good morning Sawyer," I greet him at the door after setting the alarm and grabbing my purse.

"Good morning Ms. Steele, how are you?" he asks.

"Are you ever going to call me Ana?" I've requested he drop the _Ms. Steele_ many times but he never does.

"Probably not," he chuckles.

"Of course not," I giggle at his admission. "I'm only working until one today; but then I need to do some shopping this afternoon. I'm thinking of stopping back at the apartment for lunch and then maybe going if you are available?"

"Of course Ms. Steele. I have the car ready for us downstairs."

"I thought we would walk today since I wasn't going in late?" Sawyer doesn't think it's safe to be walking just the couple of blocks to the bakery in the wee hours of the morning so we have been driving.

"I'm sorry, I forgot you wanted to walk. I need to drop off something on our way back from the bakery which is in the car. If you want to walk I can always come back here-"

"No of course not Sawyer. We can drive."

While Sawyer maneuvers through the city traffic, I take out my phone and read through the latest headlines. Even though I have the alerts set on my phone for anything related to Christian I still search his name on the internet since I haven't received anything recently. There is no reference of the our attendance at the awards dinner which doesn't surprise me because it was a very small event. I think it worked out well that there was no press there considering how sick Christian was that evening. The last thing he would need is to have the press get a picture of him leaving the dinner ill. I'm sure they would have a field day with that.

"Sawyer, where are we going? This isn't the usual route," I look out the window observing where we are. I don't recognize this buildings on this street and it seems like we are heading in the opposite direction of bakery.

"Yes T….about thirty to fourty minutes out depending on traffic. Yes….I understand," Sawyer says into an earpiece.

"Sawyer?" I ask when he seems to have ended the call. "I think the bakery is that way."

"It is ma'am."

"Where are we going?" Now I'm getting nervous… Up until now I've trusted Sawyer; the ride to the bakery in the morning takes less than seven minutes so I haven't considered the situation a risk. However his actions this morning have me doubting my own judgment.

"I have been instructed to bring you to a location where we will meet Mr. Grey and Taylor."

"Where? Where are we meeting them?"

"I'm not at liberty to tell you ma'am."

"You're not at liberty? What if I refuse to go? You can't just take me there against my will!" My breathing is increasing, my heart is racing, I can feel the walls pushing in. I need to get out of the car; I need to take control back…I'm too out of control. I try opening the car door, but it is locked despite me hitting the unlock button.

"Ms. Steele….Ms…..ANA!" Sawyer calls my name loudly. My eyes meet his in the rear view mirror. "If you don't want to go, I will turn around and we can go back to your apartment. Please do not try to jump out of the car. You'll hurt yourself and Mr. Grey will fire me if you do that!"

"Where….where are we going?" I ask.

"We're meeting Mr. Grey and Taylor. I promise you are not in danger. Mr. Grey has arranged….something….he wanted it to be a surprise."

"I'm supposed to be at work; my shift started seven minutes ago."

"You actually aren't scheduled to work today at all Ms. Steele. Mr. Grey had requested your supervisor's assistance in scheduling this trip so you would be surprised. She agreed to put you on the schedule for a couple of hours even though she didn't need you to work."

"He could have just told me about all of this!"

"It's none of my business, but I don't believe you two have exactly been talking this week."

I slowly begin to relax; I feel a little more at ease knowing that I'm going to meet Christian and Taylor. I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack but the fact that I almost had one a few minutes ago was very frightening. I don't like feeling out of control and I especially don't like feeling at risk. In that back of my head I knew Sawyer wouldn't have hurt me yet that was immediately where my mind went when I realized we were heading in the opposite direction of the bakery.

"We're here Ms. Steele," Sawyer alerts me to the fact that the car is stopped a few minutes later. I look out the window but all I see is a parking lot which doesn't help me figure out where we are. Sawyer comes around and opens my door before I step out into the bright sunlight.

"Ana," Christian's familiar voice erases the last bit of tension in my body. "Thank you for coming."

"I don't think I had much of a choice," I giggle.

"You did….you always have a choice. But thank you for coming. If you're ready, I'd like to start our day."

"I guess. I didn't bring anything with me-"

"I have everything you need, don't worry."

Christian leads over to a set of stairs and the view before me absolutely stunning. We are at a marina; there are dozens of boats in each direction and beyond them is the open water.

"We're….?"

"I'm taking you out for a day on my boat; that is if you want to."

"Wow….I mean, yes of course!"

We walk down the steps to the dock, walking past several smaller boats until we reach the largest boat in the row. The name of the boat is "The Grace" and I'm immediately moved that such a powerful, successful man would name a boat after his mother. The boat itself is big….bigger than most boats in the marina from what I can tell. Christian helps me step onto the deck of the boat, before having a few words with Taylor.

"Ready to take off Ana?" Christian asks.

"Yes!"

"We have to go slow until we get further away from the Marina but then we'll speed up. If you want to walk around just hold onto the railing because it can be tricky walking on a moving boat until you get used to it."

With that Christian disappears into the boat behind me where he starts the motor up. As Christian said we would, we move slowly through the marina but I don't mind because it gives me a chance to take everything in. We pass by dozens of boats, all different sizes and then the water just seems to be open up. Christian accelerates the boat and we start moving through the water much faster. As we move out further we begin to pass by large, beautiful houses that were clearly designed to take in the view of the water. They are the types of houses that one day you can only dream of living in but not the type of house you will probably ever be able to afford to live in. As we move further away from the coast, the houses slowly fade away; looking around the only thing that can be seen is a few boats and the open water.

I decide to go off and find Christian, feeling kind of silly just sitting here while he does all the work. I stand up and immediately feel a little unsteady on my feet but quickly gain my confidence as I walk into the boat. I walk through what could only be described as a small living room; the area is set up with couches and a few small tables. Just beyond that room I find Christian holding the wheel as he gazes out the window at the endless water in front of us. Christian seems very relaxed, more so than I ever think I've seen him. I can see why Christian said he finds it so relaxing; it's almost as if no one else in the world exists. He looks so different than the man I first met to discuss a business contract with, yet he still looks different from the man I spent time with over the weekend. He looks like someone who doesn't have a care in the world.

"It's beautiful here," I say.

"Oh! You startled me; I didn't hear you. Would you like to try driving it?"

"No! I'll crash it into something or break it!"

"Ana, look around. There's nothing for miles. There's a boat all the way over there," he points to the left of us. "You won't crash into anything I promise. Come take the wheel."

He puts his arm out indicating I should step in front of him to take control of the steering wheel that sort of resembles one that you would find in a car. I cautiously step in front of him, still worried that I'm going to somehow break the boat. He steps closer to me and brings my hands to the steering wheel. He is standing so close to me right now that I swear I can feel his breath on my neck; I can feel the heat coming off his body. I can't help but think about how good it felt to fall asleep with his arms around me last Saturday night. I slept so soundly after the nightmare, unlike most nights when I have nightmares where if I even try to go back to sleep I end up having another nightmare.

"I'll be right back, just hold the wheel steady," Christian let's go of the wheel and walks away from me.

"What?! Where are you going?"

He doesn't answer me but disappears down a set of steps just to my right that I hadn't noticed before. While he's gone I concentrate on holding the steering wheel straight, which isn't really that difficult. I constantly scan the horizon for boats or big rocks or land or anything else I might crash into while Christian is gone. A few minutes later Christian comes back up the stairs carrying two glasses of orange juice and a bowl of fruit. He sets everything down on a table back in the room I walked through to get to Christian.

"You doing okay?" he asks.

"I haven't crashed us yet."

"No you haven't," he chuckles in agreement. "I was thinking we would cut the motor and drop the anchor up ahead to the right. What do you think?"

"Uh…sure. Whatever you want to do is fine."

"Think you can steer us over there?"

"No."

"Sure you can. It's just like driving car; don't jerk the wheel to hard in one direction. Slowly ease the wheel in the direction you want to move….Yup that's it; hold it steady just like that."

Christian is right behind me again; one of his hand is on a control that seems to be decreasing the speed of the boat. With Christian this close to me it's hard to think of anything other than the night I slept in his arms. It felt so good to have someone hold me again, to have someone's arms wrapped around me. I can't remember the last time someone did that. If we weren't under contract with Elena, I would turn around right now and throw my hands around his neck, pressing my body against his just so I could feel him against me again. I could just imagine his arms wrapping around my waist as he pulled me even closer to him, his lips would slowly come down to reach mine-

"This looks like a good spot; what do you think?" he pulls me from my thoughts. My face heats up in the realization that I was just thinking about him kissing me while he was standing right behind me.

"Sure, sounds good," I try to hide the embarrassment from my voice.

Christian hits a button and the motor immediately silences.

"I thought we could go to the front of the boat and have some fruit? I can get something else if you're hungry?"

"No fruit is fine. I had breakfast not that long ago."

He leads me around to the front of the boat which has several lounge chairs and tables set up. We sit in chairs next to each other with the fruit and drinks between us.

"If you get too warm, I brought a change of clothes for you as well as a bathing suit if you want to swim."

"You did?" Wow, I'm shocked that Christian came this prepared for the trip. While the breeze is cool now, I could see it heating up in the next hour or so when the sun is higher in the sky.

"We also have a packed lunch, bottles of water, wine, suntan lotion, towels and probably anything else we might need. I wasn't sure how long you would want to be out here so I planned as if we were going to spend the day on the water."

"Thank you….you really didn't have to go through all this trouble Christian."

"I did Ana," he takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. He looks very conflicted, as if he is trying to figure out what to say next. "I fucked up Ana; I'm not proud of my behavior towards you on Sunday. I sounded ungrateful and as if I didn't care that you gave your entire weekend up to take care of me-"

"No, that-"

"Please Ana. Don't downplay how I acted. I realize now that I was treated you as if you were an employee rather than as a….friend. I can't imagine how badly I hurt you that day and I'm sorry that my stupidity caused that. I realize now that you spent the weekend with me without expecting something in return, without wanting something for yourself. While it doesn't excuse my behavior, you need to understand that having someone like that in my life is a true rarity. Every day I'm surrounded by people who want something from me or are trying to use me to better themselves."

"Christian, I would never-"

"I know you wouldn't Ana; I realize that now. At the time though I couldn't see why you would agree to cancel your cooking classes, rearrange your schedule and practically move in with me for a weekend without expecting something in return. I assumed initially that you did it because you expected payment for the weekend which would be a rather large amount-"

"Christian, I never thought that!" I quickly interrupt, immediately pissed off that he would think that was the reason I agreed to stay with him.

"I know that Ana. I knew that the moment you walked out of my apartment; I knew you that wasn't the type of person you were. I know now that you stayed with me last weekend because that's just the type of person you are. That you wanted nothing more than to help me the way I helped you after you nightmare."

"I never expected you to pay me for staying with you Christian. The thought never even entered my mine. I could see why you jumped to that though…your mind immediately went to our contract. This is a business arrangement after all," I shrug my shoulders and look out to the water.

"Ana, I've been telling myself the same thing. This is a business arrangement and nothing more," he takes another deep breath and I find myself waiting for him to tell me that the contract is over. That he needs to terminate the contract because we've crossed too many lines, that- "The truth is though, this has become more than a business arrangement for me."

"It is?" Okay, not what I was expecting at all.

"I hope you realize it too Ana. I think this weekend, or maybe even before this weekend, we've begun to become friends. I enjoy spending time with you and this weekend I felt like we got to know each other more. I realize now that you stayed with me not because of our contract but because that's who you are. It's been a very long time since I've been able to trust a woman; when I felt threatened I immediately went into business mode. It's what I do when things start to spin out of control either professionally or personally. It helps me take control back."

"You felt threatened?"

"Not by you….no that's not true. I guess I did feel threatened by you."

"Christian, I don't understand. How could I threaten you? Did I do something-"

"No! You didn't do anything. Unfortunately I got burned a long time ago but someone I trusted very much-"

"Who was she?"

"Her name was," he takes another deep breath, running his hands through his hair which I've learned he does when he is stressed. "Katherine….and at one time I thought I loved her."


	26. Chapter 25

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: So many guesses as to who Katherine was! I'm expecting some mixed reviews on this chapter based upon the reveal of the identity of Christian's ex. I know some people might be disappointed that I went this route, but I thought it offered a nice twist to this story. Thank you all again for your amazing support and the many, many reviews of this story! I wish I had time to thank each of you individually for your support but I figure you guys would rather me post another chapter than spending hours responding to reviews LOL_

 **Chpt. 25 CPOV:**

I can't believe I'm about to tell Ana about everything that _she_ did. I haven't talked to anyone about _her_ since the truth came out. Not since the world as I knew was completely turned upside down. Everyone knows not to dare mention her name around me. If it were up to me I would erase that time in my life entirely. It's amazing how things look when you take a step back and really look at what you thought you had. Looking back to that time, I can't figure out how I was so blind to what _she_ was doing to me. I pride myself at being able to recognize when people are lying or trying to use me; yet for the first time someone completely deceived me.

"It's been more than two years, but obviously the damage she did still haunts me to this day. It's been a long time since I allowed myself to consider trusting a woman again."

"What did she do to you Christian?" Ana sits up in the lounge chair so she can face me.

"She nearly ruined me; she nearly cost me everything," I cringe at the thought of what could have happened. "Katherine, interviewed me for an article that was to be featured in the university paper as part of her final graduation class. The interview itself sucked; it was boring, her questions weren't unique and the answers could have easily been found on the internet had she typed my name into google. I only remembered the interview because she seemed so full of herself that day yet was clearly unprepared for the interview itself. She hadn't memorized the questions, she constantly had to refer back to her notes and the recorder she brought didn't work."

"Sounds like a rough interview."

"I saw her briefly at the university's graduation ceremony a couple weeks later but then I didn't see her again for a year or maybe it was close to two years. We ended up attending the same charity fundraising event that was being held at a hotel downtown. She was there as a guest of her father's, whom I've done business with in the past. Her father owns several media outlets so our paths have crossed. We both had too much to drink that night, one thing led to another and before I knew it we were upstairs in a hotel room.

"From there we…..I guess you could say we used each other whenever the need arose. For the first few months, that's all it was between….just sex. Eventually though she started staying over at my place and things started to shift between us. Suddenly she was calling or coming over more, initially it bothered me but…..I know this sounds crass…..the sex was good and she was convenient. It's hard to look back and think about when things started to change, but somehow we moved from a sexual relationship to something more. We started spending more time together, attending events or going out together. At one point I remember thinking that she was perfect. She did everything to try to please me: she changed her plans to see me whenever something came up, she enjoyed the same things I did….But you know what the weird thing was?"

"What?" Ana quietly asks.

"She never argued with me. She never had a different opinion from mine. She never disagreed with anything I did or a decision I made. At the time I stupidly thought that meant we were perfect together. I realize now it was just part of her plan."

"Her plan?"

"Eventually our relationship moved to the next level; she told me she loved me. I had never been in love before so I thought what we had was real. I believed her when she said she loved me. Looking back I realize now that I only saw what she wanted to me to see. I realize now that the reason she seemed so perfect for me was because that's what she wanted me to think."

"What happened?"

"Looking back I can see how things changed, but at the time I couldn't see it and refused to believe that she was doing anything wrong. I was convinced of the image that Katherine wanted me to see; I believed she was perfect."

"No one's perfect," Ana sighs heavily…I think she is more talking to herself than to me.

"They're not, but at the time I was too blinded to see that. Which is the ironic part; put me in a board room and I can tell you within five minutes who is lying and who is only there for the money. Yet when it came to my personal life, I completely misjudged her and it almost cost me everything.

"I didn't live at Escala back then, I had a condo that was a pretty decent size but one that didn't have guest quarters for Gail and Taylor. Taylor would stay in one of the spare bedrooms and Gail would come during the day but leave after dinner. One day Gail came over earlier than normal, which I had known about but didn't tell Katherine about because she wasn't supposed to be there at that time either. Gail walked into Katherine going through my office; Gail said she was working on my computer and going through my files. The computer didn't surprise me; I had given her the password one day when she was having issues with her laptop and she needed to order something for her dad. I blew off what Gail said about her going through my files. Why I didn't think she was snooping on me then I have no idea…."

"Because you trusted her."

"I did. I was stupid and thought that when someone told you they loved you that they wouldn't do anything to hurt you. A couple weeks later the head of my financial department demanded a meeting with me. This doesn't happen often so I know when he demands a meeting something major is going on. Only during this meeting it wasn't just my head of finance who was there he also brought my head of security at GEH. My finance guy said that over the last three months there was evidence of small amounts being withdrawn from several of my business accounts for expenses that couldn't be reconciled. My initial thought of course was that an employee in one of those departments was stealing from me. I demanded answers immediately with photographic proof of who it was so we could go after them."

"It was her wasn't it?"

"Yes," I shake my head still amazed to this day how stupid I was. "My head of security knew I would want photographic evidence of the thief so he had already secured that before the meeting. He had several pictures of Katherine making purchases using credits cards that were designated to certain departments within GEH. They were small purchases, nothing that would immediately raise red flags...a few hundred dollars here, a thousand or so there… I know it sounds like a lot of money but you have to remember that we literally have hundreds of employees who hold GEH issued credit cards…"

"How did she get the credit card?"

"That took some more digging because we have systems in place at GEH to prevent things like this from happening. All credit card applications require two signatures; the head of the finance department and me. I often bring work home with me or work from home, so it's not unusual for these types of documents to be in home. I never once considered it would be an issue. I've worked with Gail and Taylor long enough now that trusting them isn't even a question. When I first hired them I would make sure everything was locked up before I would leave the apartment. But over the years they have proven that I could trust them so I stopped locking as many things up."

"She stole one of the credit card applications from you?"

"She did. She somehow changed the name on the application and the address that the card should be mailed to. She had the credit card issued in her name and mailed to her home addressed. Welch, my head of security at GEH, tracked the purchases and working with Barney, my head of IT, they accessed security footage from the stores the credit cards were used and found out it was Katherine who was using the credit cards. In total, over the three months, she spent more than fifteen thousand dollars on various purchases for herself."

"Holy shit."

"That's not the worst part."

"What could be worse than that?" Ana asks in complete disbelief.

"When confronted with the photographic proof of Katherine stealing from me, I was left with the decision of what to do. On one hand, this was the woman I supposedly loved and who loved me. On the other hand, there was no disputing the evidence that she was in fact stealing from me. I dismissed my team and told them I needed to think before I could figure out how to proceed. Part of me wanted to call the police and have her arrested, but the other part of me was still trying to figure out why she would do something like that. That's the part that to this day I still don't understand. You see, Katherine was from money; her parents are very wealthy. As I mentioned her father owns several different media outlets and her mother is a fashion designer catering to celebrities. Everything she has ever wanted has been handed to her. Her education was paid for by her parents, she was given a brand new condo and high end car upon graduation, she had credit cards of her own that they paid the bills for monthly….she didn't want for anything. Yet she stole fifteen thousand dollars from me….to buy things that her parents would have bought her: a new laptop, gas for her car, plane tickets, hotel rooms, rental cars…"

"What did you do?"

"I cancelled my plans with her for that evening; I lied and told her I needed to work late or something I think. I knew I needed time alone to process what just happened before I could determine my next moves. A couple of hours later, Taylor had Andrea…you met her at my office, she's my personal assistant," Ana nods. "He had her clear my schedule; he came into my office and said we needed to get home immediately. That's where things got worse….."

"What did she do to?"

"Gail has a very strict schedule she follows when it comes to cleaning various parts of the house. What I learned that day is that every three to four months she pulls all the furniture away from the walls in the spare bedrooms to vacuum behind them. Katherine typically used one of the spare bedrooms when she came over…..although we didn't live together she was there often enough that she had a few items in the closet and the bathroom. Anyway, Gail moved the dresser away from the wall and found an envelope containing a thumb drive on it. I suppose Gail was suspicious of Katherine ever since she found her in my office. Gail never voiced her suspicion to me after finding her in my office, but I think she knew something was going on even then. Anyway, Gail took the thumb drive and brought it to GEH asking Taylor to have it broken into as it was password protected. Taylor had Barney break the password and when they discovered what was on it they decided I needed to be away from GEH when I found out."

"What did she put on the drive?"

"It seems she was preparing to sell me out. She was writing a book about her time with me; she documented nearly everything that we did. She had pictures saved of….when we were together. She gave detailed descriptions of our….sex life. If that wasn't bad enough, she had notes on business decisions I made including formulas I used to determine whether companies were worth pursuing or not."

"How did find all that out?"

"Up until then I never thought about how much I stored in my home office, so I imagine she learned most of it by snooping on my home computer or through my files there. A few times she was at GEH and Andrea had let her wait in my office alone if I was running late, so she could have dug then to. Afterward Taylor went through our security footage and found her essentially tearing apart my office looking for information. The thumb drive had details about my family and things about me that if leaked could have serious consequences for GEH. We believe she was going to write a tell all book and sell it off."

"Wow….I can't believe someone would do something like that."

"Neither could I…..well I thought I guess I could, but I thought those things happened to other people, not to me. When I saw the thumb drive, I lost it which Taylor knew would happen which is why he insisted I come home before being told about what was on the drive. I got really drunk; I can't remember the last time I drank so much. I called Elliot, who has had more than a few issues with women, he came over to drink with me. By the end of the night, we had finished almost every ounce of alcohol we could find in my apartment but we had a plan. When we woke up the next day, with incredible hangovers mind you, we went to see my dad and took the evidence of her stealing from me with us. I purposely did not bring the thumb drive; there were pictures on there that one's family should not see. And while it was an invasion of my privacy, I didn't want to risk that evidence getting out to the public. Her stealing from me was one thing, but the staff she had on that thumb drive was things that could seriously damage my career.

"After much discussion with my dad, we decided the best course of action was to pursue criminal charges for theft. My father has very close ties with the district attorney and managed to keep everything out of the press. We entered into a private agreement with Katherine and her attorney which resulted in the records from the preceding being sealed. She agreed to plead guilty to the charges in exchange for a decreased sentence. She served about 18 months in prison, but her parents arranged for her to be sent to one of the nicest prisons out there. The type where only people with money go; where freedom doesn't feel like it was lost. She was required to sign legal documents that prohibit her from every speaking about our relationship to anyone and she is banned from ever working in the media industry again."

"Wow….I know I keep saying that but wow Christian. I can't believe someone would do something like to you. She took complete advantage of you and then was about to expose you to ruin your business. Why would someone do something like that?"

"To make an easy buck Ana. A book about my secrets and how I run my business would sell, very quickly no doubt. She could have probably made a couple hundred thousand dollars from books and then more from talk shows, magazines, etc…"

For the first time since I started talking I look at Ana, who has sat back in her lounge chair and is staring out at the water. I can only assume she is taking in everything I just told her. I can't help but wonder what she is thinking. Does she think I was stupid for allowing _her_ into my life? Does she think less of me because of the decisions I made? Is she wondering what was on the thumb drive that I was so worried about or does she think it was mostly business details that I was worried the most about? I originally planned to leave out the fact that there were pictures on the thumb drive but once I started talking to Ana everything just came out. What Ana will never know, is what _she_ did to me was what brought me to the club. I needed a place to go where I could be guaranteed that no pictures would be taken. And for the right price, I found a place where I could fuck women the way I wanted without having to worry about pictures being taken or details being released to the press. I never had to worry about someone violating my privacy in that respect. Everyone at the club has too much to risk to even consider going to the press about another member.

"I get it Christian," Ana breaks her silence a few minutes later.

"You get what?" I can't say I'm not confused by her response.

"I get why you gave me the check last weekend. I get why you thought I expected that in return."

"You do? Because honestly Ana I don't know that I know why I did it. My….therapist thinks that I was subconsciously testing you but I don't know that I buy that crap-"

"No, I think he's right. It's obvious now that Katherine was only with you because of your money, and she saw an easy way to make quick money with you. After what you went through, I could see how you could expect people to be like that with you. But Christian…you have to know that I would never….never do what she did to you. I don't know that you will ever be able to trust me, but-"

"Ana, that's what freaked me out the most about last weekend. I started to trust to you, even without knowing it. After everything blew up in my face with Katherine, I swore off women. I swore I would never trust another woman-"

"Christian, you can't-"

"Why not? It's been working for me for the last two years-"

"Has it?"

"Of course it has. I moved out of that apartment, got rid of all the memories of _her_ and moved to Escala with Taylor and Gail. Until last weekend, the only women who stepped foot into Escala besides Gail was my mother and sister. You were the first woman who had ever been there; you were there the entire weekend and….I let my guard down. Honestly Ana, that scared the shit out of me. I worked so hard over the last two and a half years to ensure that my guard was always up so something like that didn't happen again."

Ana's eyes are once again at the water; I'm beginning to think she understands why I find being on the boat so relaxing. I don't know what's going through her head right now, but I don't ask. I don't know if I'm afraid to ask….I don't know that I want to know what she's thinking right now. It's been a long time since I've opened myself up to anyone like this. I don't do vulnerable…I don't do weak; right now I know this is exactly how I look to Ana.

"I hadn't been alone with a man in more than two years before I walked into your apartment that night," she finally says, albeit very quietly almost as if she's afraid of what she is saying.

"What do you mean? I'm sure we-"

"We haven't; not really anyway."

I think back at all the times we've met before our _dates_ and realize she is right; each time Taylor was present. We spent a few minutes once in my office when she brought muffins and cookies after I moved her into Escala after her apartment was broken into. That was maybe…ten minutes I think; I had to rush to a meeting so she couldn't stay very long.

"Yet you still volunteered to stay the weekend with me," I'm even more shocked now.

"I did," she shrugs. "Like you, I swore I would never trust a man again. That I would never put myself at risk again. Our ex's aren't that different when you think about it really. They both deceived us into believing they were the person they wanted us to see, but we both ended up finding out that it was all a façade. When Elena approached me about this arrangement, my safety was my number one concern. I let her know that I would never agree to be alone with someone; I would never agree to meet you at your office after hours if no one else was going to be working. Although she mentioned possible business trips, I let her know that would have to be discussed at a much later date because in all honesty I never thought I would see myself spending a days in the same hotel room with a man. I swore I would put myself at risk again; that I would never let my guard down and trust someone again."

"Yet here we are," I can't help but point out the fact that we are entirely alone on a boat in the middle of open water with no one around us for miles.

"Yes, even though I almost didn't make it here."

"What do you mean? Did something happen on the way here?"

"I'm surprised Taylor didn't tell you. I'm sure Sawyer called him and told him he thought I was crazy."

"I doubt Sawyer would say something like that and if he did he knows he would be fired. What happened Ana? Did Sawyer do something-"

"No!" she quickly interrupts which relieves me greatly. I trust Sawyer nearly as much as I trust Taylor; I can't picture him doing anything unprofessional. "I….I guess you could say I kind of freaked out when I realized we weren't going to the bakery-"

"Oh Ana….I'm sorry," FUCK I feel foolish now. "I had no idea….I…..you weren't talking to me, I didn't know how else to talk to you."

"You could have come to the apartment," she giggles pointing out the obvious solution but I don't think she realizes that I didn't want to invade her privacy by doing that. I may know where she lives now but I refuse to take advantage of that. The stipulation in the contract is there for a reason; even though we have blurred some of the lines in the contract, I don't want to take advantage of that one. Her privacy is important her just as mine is to me. "I nearly had a panic attack in the car with Sawyer when he wouldn't tell me where we were going. I tried to open the car door to jump out, but of course they didn't open-"

"Ana, I'm sorry. I never thought….I didn't think…."

"Why would you Christian? I never told you about my trust issues and it's not like I didn't know Sawyer; he's been with me for weeks now. I freaked out and my first thought was that I was at risk. The logical part of my brain must have fallen asleep or something, because had it been awake it would have reminded me that I've felt comfortable with Sawyer before and that he has given me no reason to worry."

"What happened?"

"Sawyer must have seen that I was freaking out because the next thing I knew we were pulled onto the side of the road and he was turned around calling my name. He told me that if I wanted, he would turn the car around and take me back to Escala. I only began to calm down when he told me he was taking me to you and Taylor."

"I'm sorry. I swear I'll never do that again. I should have known that it would have frightened you to not know where we were going-"

"You had no reason to know Christian. We've gone out plenty of times now, sometimes I don't know all the details of the evenings and I've never had an issue with it."

"Because we were never alone," I realize.

"Right. And today I was suddenly alone in a car with Sawyer."

"But you had no issues coming aboard the boat today?" I point out.

"I know," she sighs and looks back out at the water. "And I had no concerns about staying the weekend at your apartment when it was obvious no one was able to. As scary as trusting me is, it's just as scary for me to trust you."

 _Author's Note 2: Wow….this was a heavy chapter to write. I hadn't expected to feel that way, but I do. As usual, this is the last update for the week…the next update will likely be Tuesday unless I can squeeze time in on Monday. I'd love to know your thoughts on Christian's past…if my legal ramifications were off please forgive me-I'm obviously not an attorney or well versed in what is possible in the legal world. Have a great weekend!_


	27. Chapter 26

_Author's Note: Thank you all for the feedback on the last chapter! So many of you were wondering why Kate did what she did especially given her affluent background. You will find out the reason, but not for a little while yet! I'm glad so many of you enjoyed my twist on Kate; I admit I was a little nervous and unsure what you would think!_

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 26 CPOV:**

In that moment I realized how little I truly know about Ana; I know her ex abused her but I don't know what her time with him was really like. Ana is very closed off about her past, although given the little bit I do know it makes sense that she would have difficulty trusting men. I'm kicking myself for not thinking that having Sawyer bring her here today instead of going to the bakery where she expected to go would have upset her. All I wanted to do was to get a chance to talk to her alone; she wasn't responding to the flowers I sent so I really didn't know what else I could do. Flynn told me to talk to her alone, to take her somewhere and do something just the two of us….yet he didn't tell me how the hell to get her attention when she wouldn't talk to me!

"Can we go swimming?" Ana pulls me from my thoughts.

"Of course, come with me and I'll show you where everything is," I stand and take her hand to help her up from the lounge chair that we've been sitting in now for the last couple of hours. I hadn't realized how much time had passed until I looked at my phone and realized it was well after noon. After the heavy discussion, I think a swim sounds like a great idea. With her hand still in mine, I lead her back through the main area of the boat and down the steps to where the bedrooms are.

"I'll give you a quick tour while we're here," I offer. "Obviously this is the kitchen; it has all main features of a home kitchen but on a much smaller scale. After we go swimming I'll bring up the lunch that Gail packed and we can eat if you're hungry?"

"Sounds good."

"Through here is a small office, over here is a guest bedroom and bathroom and then this is the master bedroom."

"Wow, Christian this is amazing! I had no idea so much space was down here. I mean, the boat is obviously big but….wow!"

"In the bag you'll find a bathing suit, a cover up, a pair of flip flops, shorts and a top-"

"You bought all of this?"

"Yes….well technically a personal shopper at Neiman's arranged all of this. I gave her your picture and she based the sizes off of that so I'm hoping they fit-"

"Thank you Christian….for all of this. You definitely didn't need to do all of this, but thank you."

"Ana, I just want you to know again how sorry I am-"

"Christian, you apologized already; you're forgiven. I overreacted as well and like you I didn't know how to fix things. The flowers you sent me, which were absolutely beautiful by the way, were your way of trying to reach out to me. I wanted to call you so many times, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to say because I don't think I even understood why it bothered me so much that you thought you needed to pay me."

"Because you recognized before I did that this was more than a business arrangement. I don't know when it happened, but it did."

"Do you think that's okay though? I mean….I don't know what I mean."

"Ana, I'm sure Elena has clients who have developed friendships and probably even relationships from these arrangements. I think when two people spend a lot of time together it's a natural reaction. It just didn't take as much time for us."

"I suppose."

"I'm going to change in the guest room; how about we meet on the deck in a few minutes? Anything you might need should be in the bathroom just through that door."

"Thank you Christian….again for all of this."

"You're welcome Ana."

I slowly close the door and walk across the small hallway to the guest bedroom, closing myself in the room before I sit on the bed. I never expected to tell Ana so much about what happened; I thought I could gloss over all the details and just give her the gist of it. I never thought I would tell her as much as I did. I'm kind of glad I did though; I may not have realized it at the time but I'm really glad she didn't accept the money I tried to give her. I wouldn't have thought any less of her if she did, but when she didn't it….it just reinforced what I already knew; that Ana was nothing like _she_ was.

When I hear the bedroom door open and shut across the hall I realized I needed to hurry up and get changed. I quickly change into a pair of swim trunks and t shirt to swim in; while I hate swimming with a shirt on I'm not about to give Ana a reason to ask more questions about my past. I told her about…what happened because it effected things between us…my scars and the reasons they are there have no impact on our arrangement therefore there is no reason to tell her.

When I make my way up to the deck, I stop dead in my tracks at seeing Ana. She is standing at the end of the boat, holding onto the rail overlooking the water. She's wearing nothing but the bikini that I purchased for her which combined with the backdrop of the blue water makes her looking incredibly beautiful.

FUCK

I should have told Neiman's to give her a one piece bathing suit. Hell I should have "forgotten" the bathing suit and taken swimming off the agenda for today. My mind immediately goes to all the things that I could do to Ana right now. There is no one around for miles, I could fuck her right now, right where she is standing and no one would ever know. I could walk up to her, pull her bikini bottoms to the side, plunge into her and fuck her against the railing of the boat without giving it a second thought.

But I won't and I can't. I can't jeopardize our arrangement and more importantly I could never hurt Ana. I'm not what she needs; what she deserves and I don't think I ever could be. She deserves someone who comes without baggage, someone who won't have issues trusting her completely. She deserves someone who can make love to her; hell I don't even know what that looks like! The realization that I could never be the person she deserves is the equivalent of having a bucket of ice dumped down my swim trunks.

"It's beautiful out here isn't it?" I say approaching Ana.

"Absolutely stunning; I see why you enjoy coming out here. Do you spend much time on the water?"

"Not as much as I would like to unfortunately. If it were up to me I would be out here every weekend…"

"What stops you?"

"Work typically; then there are various social events but mostly its work."

"If I could get away from everything ever once in a while, I would take advantage of it whenever I could. Being out here makes you forget…everything."

That simple sentences makes me realize she truly gets why coming out here means so much to me. She may not know that she gets my reason, but her statement alone tells me she feels the same way I do when she looks out at the water. For some reason it is so easy to lose yourself in the waves when all you see is blue in all directions.

"I put some of the suntan lotion on, but I couldn't reach my back. Do you mind?" Ana asks.

"Sure of course," I take the bottle from her as I step closer to her. "Is it okay if I untie the bottom strap? It might be easier-"

"Sure," her hands immediately go to fabric covering her breasts, holding it in place. Despite the earlier realization, I can't help but wish she would have let the top fall of her. I squirt some of the lotion onto my hand and slowly apply it to her back. She jumps when I first touch her, probably from the coldness but immediately relaxes as I rub the lotion on her. As I rub the lotion down her back, for the first time I see scars across her back. They're small and light, barely noticeable unless you're close to her but they are there.

"Ana?"

"I scar easily…." She shrugs and I have to force myself to continue what I was doing rather than focus on the scars. There are a easily two dozen of them, all different sizes and shapes but they cover from the middle of her back to her waistline at least from what I can see.

"Ana…." I don't know what to say, what I should say. I hate the fucker who did this to her and want nothing more than to find a way to destroy him for hurting Ana. I can't imagine any man wanting to do something like to a woman, let alone one that is as beautiful and perfect as Ana is.

 _Perfect?_

"Don't Christian…please. It was a long time ago; can we just forget about it?" Her voice is shaky as she tries portraying the strong image I know she wants me to see. I'm suddenly confronted with an overwhelming need to hold her, to comfort her and to tell her that everything will be okay, that no one would ever hurt her again. But I don't, instead I tie her bathing suit back into place and step away from Ana.

"Thank you Christian," her voice is barely above a whisper and I have no doubt that she thanking me for more than putting sun tan lotion on.

"Do you want to swim here or should we move the boat?" I suggest.

"I like it here, if you don't mind."

"No, here is perfect."

We go to the back of the boat where there is a ladder and a small stand to sit on, but Ana surprises me and dives right into the water from the deck of the boat. I chuckle as she splashes me with cold water from her jump. She swims out quite a distance before turning around and swimming back to the boat without coming up for a breath of air.

"Aren't you coming in?" She asks.

Feeling the need to lighten things up, I stand up and cannon ball into the water landing only a few feet from her.

"Christian!" she giggles and tries to splash water at me but I sink under before the water hits me.

We spend the rest of the day just like that, swimming and having fun. Gone are the heavy conversations and the many unanswered questions that remain between us. Instead, we keep things light and current rather than talking about either or our pasts. We enjoy the chicken salad lunch that Gail prepared for us before heading back to the marina late in the afternoon. As I stand behind Ana watching her drive the boat back towards the marina, I find myself surprised at how nice today turned out. I was prepared for anything to happen today, anything but this. I pictured Ana refusing to get on the boat with me; I pictured Ana cursing me out for trying to give her the money and I even pictured Ana ending our arrangement because of what I did. Never did I dare to hope that today would have went as well as it did. I actually had fun….I can't remember the last time I could say that. Hell, I can't remember the last time I spent the entire day with a woman. It's weird, but when I think back to being with _her_ I realize just how off things were between us. I never spend an entire day with _her;_ sure a few hours here and there but that usually was it. She never wanted to come on the boat; she claimed the water made her sick. Today, Ana and I spent more than six hours on the boat…just the two of us. The only time _her_ and I spent six hours together would be at a function with hundreds of other people around. Although it wasn't always _her_ fault; I was always busy with GEH. Looking back at it now, I could have made more of an effort to spend time with her…if I had wanted to. It didn't take much to spend the day out here with Ana today; just a few meetings and calls rearranged and some work pushed off to tomorrow. At the time I thought _she_ was just being understanding with how busy I was but now I see that it was all part of the façade that she wanted me to see.

"Christian…Christian!" Ana pulls me from my thoughts as we approach the marina.

"You're doing fine, we're going to head into the third row-"

"No! You need to do this Christian! I'm going to hit another boat, or the dock or someone!"

"You'll do fine, keep your hands firm on the wheel," I put my hands on the wheel on either side of her body essentially making it impossible for her move. Her body is tense around me but I'm not worried; she has been steering the boat for the last hour, navigating around several other boats with complete ease. Besides, my hands are on the wheel; I can easily correct anything she does before anything were to occur. She may be scared, but I think secretly she is enjoying having this control.

"We're going to start to turn left just after we pass that boat, do you see it?" I ask.

"Ye…yes," she's nervous but I'm not.

"Perfect….yup….just like that."

"I can't believe I did that!" She exclaims happily when I cut the engine at the dock.

"I told you that you could do it!"

She turns and throws her hands around my neck pulling me close to her before she rests her face in the crook of my neck. My hands automatically go around her waist, holding her close to me.

"Thank you Christian….thank you for today," she whispers against my neck so softly that I can feel her lips move against my skin.

"Anytime Ana."

She pulls back slightly from me until her face is only a couple inches from me, her hands are still wrapped around my neck and mine around her waist. My eyes find hers and immediately I feel like she is looking at me differently. I suddenly feel like she can see right through me, as if she can see deep into me. Suddenly I feel….exposed.

"Christian," Ana whispers when I suddenly look away as if I'm afraid if she continues looking at me the way she is right now she will be able to see everything that I'm hiding….and then she would hate me.

"Thank you….for telling me everything today; thank you for trusting me," she leans up just enough to place her soft lips against mine. Her eyes close the moment our lips touch, but I can't bring myself to close mine. Her fingers run through the ends of my hair at my neck; my hands find the bare skin just beneath her shirt on her back. As she becomes more sure of herself, or maybe of what she's doing, Ana moves her lips against mine deepening our kiss – changing it from a kiss between two friends to one between…

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

We both immediately pull away from each other at the sound of a boat's loud horn not far from us. On one hand I want to kill the fucker who stopped Ana from kissing me, but on the other hand I know it's probably for the best. If Ana continued to kiss me like she was, I don't know that I would have been able to stop myself. My dick was already stirring with her body pressed up against it.

"Taylor will be waiting for us to drive us back to Escala unless you need to go somewhere else?"

"No, Escala is fine."

When we come out of the boat, I see Taylor waiting for us on the deck and I have no doubt that he more likely just saw what transpired between myself and Ana. Thankfully I don't need to worry about him saying anything; unless I ask Taylor for his opinion he rarely gives it. I tell Ana to wait on the deck for me so I can get out of the boat first. I toss Taylor a rope and he quickly secures the boat to the dock as I step out. Ana takes my hand and steps off the boat but doesn't let go of my hand as we walk away from the boat.

"Mac will see to it?" I ask Taylor.

"Yes, he is already here and waiting."

"Mac?" Ana asks.

"He's….my boat guy I guess you could say. He gets the boat ready before I want to take it out and like today, he will see that it's shut down completely and secured for the night."

The ride back to Escala is quiet, but Ana doesn't let go of my hand the entire ride and I don't stop holding hers either. When we get back to Escala, I walk Ana to her apartment door and kiss her on the cheek as has become our tradition after _dates._ I am beyond tempted to kiss her again; I want nothing more than to feel her body against mine and her lips pressed up against mine again. But in the end I know nothing good could come of that….if my image changing mission is to be successful I can't give Ana a reason to break the contract. A night with me fucking her would almost guarantee that.


	28. Chapter 27

_Author's Note: Thank you for being patient! This week is crazy for me so updates will be sporadic. There will be no update tomorrow (Thursday) but I will try to get one up on Friday._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 27 APOV:**

What a week! I cannot believe the week I've had! It started with Christian nearly giving me the first panic attack I've had in more than year as Sawyer all but kidnapped me when I thought I was supposed to be going to work. Instead he drove me outside the city to a beautiful marina where we met up with Christian and Taylor. Christian and I spent the day aboard his amazing boat, getting to know each other more. I was shocked when Christian revealed his past to me; I never would have expected someone to fool Christian the way that Katherine did. I always viewed him as stronger than that or too smart to fall for that. Hearing what happened to him, of what she did to him, made me realize that he is only human. That even someone as strong, smart and rich as he is can be duped by someone as manipulative as Katherine was. It also made me realize that at least I'm not the only one who has made stupid mistakes in their life.

The day on the boat was more than I ever could have hoped for. After Christian told me everything that the Bitch did to him, we were still able to have a wonderful afternoon together. We went swimming, joked around and got to know each other even more. We shared a delicious lunch that Gail made us on the deck of the boat after we spent the afternoon swimming. Christian looked amazing in his swim shorts! I kept waiting for him to take his shirt off, but to my disappointment he never did. Nevertheless, he looked incredibly sexy when he came out of the water and the shirt clung to him. I could see his hardened muscles beneath his shirt and I couldn't help but imagine what he would like without his shirt on. I can't remember the last time I ever thought of a guy like that; hell I can't remember the last time I wondered what a man looked like without his clothes on. He looked so relaxed on the boat; he didn't look like some big, powerful CEO in charge of hundreds of employees. Instead he looked….well, like someone his age should look.

And then as our perfect day was coming to an end, I nearly ruined it. I kissed him….and it was not on the cheek. I was so….excited I guess that I had driven the boat to the marina and managed to not hit anything. I hugged him to thank him for taking me out for the day, for telling me about what had happened to him and for teaching me to drive the boat. The moment his arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to him, I immediately thought about how nice it felt to sleep next to him last weekend after my nightmare. When I went to pull away from him, his eyes caught mine and it was as if he could see right through me again. I remember feeling that way the day we met on the sidewalk; that he could see all the secrets I've never told anyone about. I was overwhelmed with how open I felt. I wanted to get away, but at the same time I didn't want step out of his embrace. I leaned up to kiss him, intending it to be a good bye kiss on the cheek however when his eyes met mine again I felt this incredible urge to kiss his lips again.

I don't know if I should be thankful for the boat horn that interrupted our kiss just before I think one of us was about to deepen it. We've kissed three times now; two of which have been initiated by myself. The only time Christian kissed me was after my nightmare, which was probably just as a way to comfort me. I need to be more mindful of our arrangement, even though the lines seem to be getting more and more blurred as we spend more time together. I can't give Christian a reason to break our arrangement; I'm finally getting a head on my bills and I think I might start looking for an apartment of my own in the next couple of weeks.

I've enjoyed staying at Escala but the fact remains that it is Christian's apartment. I think I would feel more secure if I had a place of my own; some place that I couldn't lose without any notice if Christian suddenly decides to end our arrangement. The issue I know I'm going to have though is finding a place that is safe so that while Christian and I have this arrangement and I suppose for a time afterwards that the press can't get to me at a price I can afford. Right now I think I can afford a small apartment in a decent area but I'm concerned when the arrangement with Christian does end what will happen. I don't think I could sign another contract with Elena. If this arrangement with Christian has taught me anything, it's that I can't be involved with someone without emotional attachments. Christian was right when he said that our arrangement has begun to go beyond a business arrangement and we've sort of become friends. We're not the type of friends who call each other or text, but when we go on _dates_ we share things about our lives. I don't know how I will feel when Christian ends our arrangement; I kind of think it will feel like losing a friend and it's been a long time since I've had someone I considered a friend.

I quickly shake my head from those thoughts; I need to just focus on keeping things status quo between us which means not kissing Christian again. I can't be the reason he decides to end our arrangement. Christian and I were supposed to go to dinner earlier this week but he ended up having to cancel because of a last minute business meeting he had to fly off to. We're going to dinner at Christian's parent's tonight which I'm not sure how I feel about it. Although I've met Grace and talked to her several times now, I can't help but feel nervous spending the evening with them. From what Elena told me Christian's entire family will be there which I assume means Elliot and Mia. Elena also confirmed that next week Christian has a busy schedule and has requested I accompany him to several different events including a charity fundraising dinner next Saturday and a business dinner during the week. When I was talking to Elena about next week I couldn't help but wonder if she knew about our day on the boat or the weekend that we spent together. I kind of feel guilty that we did these things without going through her since our contract specifically states all communication must go through her. However, I know if we had gone through her for either of these things it would have resulted in a payment from Christian which is obviously something I don't want. Since I don't expect us to be spending more time together outside of our actual arrangement, I decide against informing Elena about the weekend and the day on the boat.

I struggled with what to wear for dinner tonight; Elena said that Christian informed her that the dress would be casual for dinner. What the hell is casual though to a family that has the amount of money that the Grey's have? I end up spending an hour at Stacy's where I eventually choose a halter style sundress that falls just to my knees with a pair of dressy sandals. I think it's a little more than casual but I hope that it would fit in with what the Grey's would expect for tonight. I was a little surprised when Elena scheduled the dinner tonight at Christian's parent's house; I had assumed I would only see them at different events. I guess I wasn't expecting to see them in such an intimate or personal setting…

 _Knock knock_

Thankfully Christian pulls me from my thoughts and overall worry about how tonight is going to go. I quickly grab my purse, set the alarm and open the door where Christian is waiting for me. For the first time since I've met him, Christian is wearing jeans which surprises me. I can't help but immediately second guess my outfit for tonight, wondering if I shouldn't go back inside and change into something more casual.

"You look….very nice," Christian says.

"Do you think I should change?"

"No! Why would you?"

"Elena mentioned the dress would be casual for tonight, and you're in jeans…."

"I assure you Mia will be not be dressed in jeans, if that's what you're worried about. I'm not sure that girl owns more than one pair of jeans. I can't remember the last time I even saw her in jeans. You look perfect….you don't need to change."

"If you're sure."

We walk down to the elevator where Taylor is waiting for us; after a short ride we are in the parking garage, seated in the SUV and on our way to Christian's parent's house. Christian is busing typing away on his cell phone, but I can't stop thinking about how tonight will turn out. Meeting Christian's family at the gala was one thing, but meeting in their home at their dinner table is completely different. It feels so much more personal-

"Are you okay?" Christian pulls me from my thoughts once again.

"Fine."

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes."

"Why? You've met my family before."

"But not like this. This is…..different. At the gala there were so many other people there or things going on to distract everyone. This feels….more personal."

"You have nothing to worry about Ana. My mother already loves you-"

"I doubt that; she barely knows me. We texted a few times and talked at your apartment for a few minutes but that was pretty much it."

"Trust me, Ana, my mother likes you."

"I doubt it."

"Ana," he takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair nervously before continuing. "Do you want to know how I know my mother likes you?" I nod. "She lets you call her Grace-"

"She told me-"

"I know she did. But….she's never let…. _Katherine_ call her by her name," I can hear the disgust in his voice as he says her name. "She was always Mrs. Grey to her. My mother never texted her, never talked to her except to be polite and pretty much hated her."

"Oh."

"Yeah oh. So, just trust me, my mother likes you. If you've won her over, you've won over my dad by default. Mia loves everyone and Elliot….well Elliot will do anything to avoid confrontation so you don't have to worry about it."

"Is there anything I should know about for tonight?"

"I don't think so. Just be yourself Ana."

"Sir, ma'am…we have arrived," Taylor alerts us. I have no idea how long we've been parked in the driveway but I'm thankful for these last few minutes.

"You ready?" Christian asks.

"Yes," I say trying to force some confidence in my voice.

Although we were for the gala, the house looks completely different without all the lights and press around it. Christian opens the door and leads me into the very large foyer where he takes my jacket and purse to hang them with his own jacket in the closet. I can't help but look up; the ceiling above us is so high it almost makes me dizzy. There's a beautiful chandelier above us and a curved stairway to our left.

"Christian! Ana! I thought I heard the door open," Grace rushes in to greet us, first hugging Christian and then me.

"Grace, it's nice to see you again," I say.

"I'm so glad that you could make it tonight Ana! I've been after Christian to bring you by for two weeks now; I'm glad your plans changed and you were able to join us."

"I'm glad it all worked out," I reply, not entirely sure what Christian has told her so I'm trying to play along.

"Come, everyone's in the great room," she leads us to a large room just off the foyer where Christian's dad, Elliot and Mia are all talking.

"Christian!" Mia runs towards him and practically jumps into his arms to hug him.

"Mia!" he chuckles at her reaction.

"Ana! I'm so happy you could come!" she hugs me next before taking my hand, leading me to the couch where she was sitting a few minutes ago.

"Ana, it's nice of you to join us for dinner tonight," Christian's dad says.

"Thank you for inviting me Mr. Grey."

"Please it's Carrick; I'm only Mr. Grey in the courtroom."

"Ana, I love your dress! Where did you get it? Oh! Better yet, can you take me there? Are you going to the dinner next weekend? If so, maybe we can go shopping together this week?" Mia fires off tons of questions at me which catches me off guard.

"Mia, give the poor girl a minute to think," Elliot warns as he smiles at me.

"Um….I think we're going to that dinner," I glance at Christian who nods in indication that we are going. "I haven't had a chance to shop for a dress yet, so if you want to I'd love to go shopping with you for one."

"Fantastic! I'm so excited! When can you go? Do you work every day this week?"

"How about Wednesday? I work a few hours in the morning but by early afternoon I should be free."

"Perfect! I'm so excited!"

I try to catch Christian's eye to see if I did the right thing by agreeing to go shopping with her but he doesn't seem to notice me. I hope he doesn't get mad that I'm spending time with Mia; she caught me completely off guard when she asked if we could go shopping for a dress for the dinner. I couldn't figure out a way to say no without sounding rude so agreeing just seemed like the appropriate response.

"Dinner is ready," Grace announces a few minute later.

Christian takes my hand as we stand up from the couch where we were sitting next to before leading me into the dining room which is just as beautiful as the rest of the house is. The long dining room table is set beautifully, with wonderful smelling dishes set across the table. Like the perfect gentleman he is, Christian pulls my chair out for me before I sit down gently pushing it in before taking his seat next to me.

"You're doing fine, stop worrying," he whispers and puts his hand on my knee which I hadn't realized was shaking until that moment. His hand is hot against my cool skin; I can feel my body temperature rising just from his touch. I don't know if he notices, but he quickly removes his hand from my knee a few seconds later.

"So Ana, how's the bakery?" Carrick asks.

"It's good. It seems as if the owner has found a seller for the bakery-"

"She did?" Christian asks surprised.

"Yes, Ginny just told me about it this morning," I forgot to mention it to Christian when we spoke on the ride over here.

"Tell me it's not one of those chain places," Grace pleads.

"I don't think so. Ginny said that she had to sign something that prevents her from telling anyone specific details about the sale until a certain date-"

"That's fairly common Ana, I don't think it's anything you need to worry about," Carrick says.

"She did say that the owners have agreed to keep on all staff who have had solid performance reviews for at least six months following the date of the announcement," I explain.

"That's really good news Ana," Christian says.

"I'm sure you must be relieved," Grace adds.

"I am. I hope the new owners keep with the feel of the bakery; Ginny has a lot of personal connections with so many of the customers who come in it would be a shame to lose that."

"I hope they keep the same recipes!" Mia exclaims.

"I second that," Elliot agrees.

"I've signed too many business deals over their muffins for have them change their recipe now," Christian chuckles. "Andrea manages to always know exactly what to get for my meetings which everyone loves."

The food is passed around as conversation flows easily amongst everyone. I can't help but sit back and watch what is going on around me; I don't know that I've ever seen a family dinner like this one. It's not only Carrick and Grace asking questions about their children's lives, but it's Mia, Elliot and Christian are talking to each other and seem to know everything that is going on with each other. It amazes me how close everyone is; not just close in the sense that they are family but that they actually care about what is going on with each other.

"Would you like some wine?" Christian asks.

"Yes please."

"White or red?"

"White, thank you."

Christian puts his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently before he walks into the kitchen. I continue to just watch everyone; interestingly I don't feel uncomfortable like I expected to. Every so often someone asks me a question making sure like I don't feel like an outsider. Christian comes back to the table a few minutes later, handing me a glass of wine before draping his arm over my shoulders when he sits down. Out of the corner of my eye I see Grace watching us and smiling and for the first time since Christian and I started this arrangement I kind of feel guilty for deceiving everyone. Well maybe not everyone; I don't feel guilty for deceiving the press so they leave Christian alone so he can focus on his company. I think I just feel guilty about deceiving Christian's family as they think we are an actual couple like everyone else does. I understand why he didn't want to tell anyone else about our arrangement but…

"How about we move into the great room? Desert will be ready in a few minutes; I'll bring it in for everyone in there," Grace suggests.

"Would you like another glass of wine?" Christian asks.

"No, thank you," I quickly answer.

"Anyone else need another drink while I'm in the kitchen?" Christian asks everyone.

"I'll help you," Elliot jumps up.

"I'd like another glass of wine," Mia requests.

"I'll have another beer," Carrick adds.

"Ana?" Elliot asks.

"I'm good, thanks," I answer.

Carrick and Mia immediately engage in conversation about a fashion design class that Mia is currently taking. I gather from the conversation that she has had a difficult time deciding what she wants to do with her life. I envy her; her parents seem to support her as she takes different classes rather than pushing her in a certain direction or worse not supporting her in furthering her education at all. I'm surprised that Carrick seems genuinely interested in Mia's description in her last class the other day despite the fact that I'm sure Carrick could care less about fashion design.

A couple of hours and too much delicious desert later, Christian and I say our goodbyes to his family. Mia and I have exchanged phone numbers having confirmed our plans to go shopping later this week for the charity dinner that we will both be attending next weekend. Elliot, Christian and Carrick discuss an upcoming baseball game that they are going to in a few weeks. Grace immediately suggests I join her and Mia for a girl's day at the spa when the guys go to the game. I give a non-committal answer promising to check my schedule, not because I don't want to spend the day at a spa (who wouldn't?) but because I don't know how Christian wants me to respond. We hadn't discussed our arrangement overlapping with Christian's family life or how he would feel about me spending time alone with his family. I've already committed to shopping with Mia later this week so I don't want to commit to anything else without talking to Christian first. Grace accepts my answer without blinking an eye which I'm thankful for.

"I told you that you had no reason to worry," Christian says as Taylor begins to drive away.

"It went much better than I was thinking it would," I admit.

"Can I ask you something?" he requests after a few minutes of silence.

"Okay, sure," I'm not sure what to think about the uncertainty I hear in his voice.

"How come you don't drink? I mean, you drink of course but I don't think I've ever seen you have more than one drink when we've gone out. Do you not like to drink?"

"It's not that," I sigh realizing that Christian is right – I haven't had more than one drink of alcohol anytime we have been out together. "I hadn't realized that….I guess old habits die hard."

"What do you mean? Did you…do you have a problem with alcohol?"

"No! Gosh, no. I've only ever been drunk once and that was freshman year in college. I drank way too much at a fraternity party and spent the night with my head in the toilet. That was the last time I ever got drunk."

"Then why only have one drink?"

"I….." UGH I can't imagine what Christian will think when I tell him the real reason I limit myself to one drink. Unfortunately I can't come up with a good enough lie and even if I could after how open Christian was with me on the boat last weekend I don't know that I want to lie to him. "It was one of the rules."

"Rules?"

"He….Image was important to him; he believed I was a direct reflection on him. He would….pick out my outfits, order my food and basically control everything when we went out. There were a lot of rules: what I could talk about, who I could talk to and how much I could drink. Even though I had never been drunk around him, I was only ever allowed to him one drink when we were out."

"Ana….I don't know what to say. You don't seem like the person who would just let someone control their life like that. I mean-"

"No, I get it. Trust me I'm not the person I was when I met him. I've grown a lot in the last two and a half years. I've learned a lot about myself and about the person I was back then. Today, no I wouldn't let someone control as much as my life as he did. This….this arrangement with Elena I had to think long and hard about because of not only my safety but also because to some degree I knew I would give up some control. I knew there was a chance that I could be with someone that would pick out my clothing for events or who would tell me what I can and can't talk about or to whom. But, to me I was willing to pay that price because it was only over a very small part of my life. It was no different in my mind than wearing a uniform to work. I'll never go back to that type of control; I will never allow someone to control my every move the way he did."

"You deserve so much better than that Ana; I hope you realize that now."

"I don't know what I deserve….but I know that I don't want what I had."

"Someone really did a number on you growing up, didn't they?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't see….you don't see yourself."

"Sure I do-"

"You don't Ana. If you don't recognize that you deserve better than that asshole, you don't see the wonderful person you are."

"I may not know what I deserve Christian, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that history will never repeat itself. I will never allow someone to control my life like he did or treat me the way he did."

"I'm glad Ana, really I am. I just wish….you could see….who you are," Christian sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "Who told you that you didn't deserve any better than that asshole growing up Ana? Who led you to believe that someone wouldn't love you?"

"I…..I….I don't want to talk about this anymore," I panic trying to push the memories that are threatening to take over. "Please….leave it alone Christian. My childhood wasn't a happy one; I didn't grow up in a nice house with loving parents who cared about what I did every day. Just forget about it."

I turn away from Christian and stare out the window, glad to see that we are only a few blocks from Escala. I can feel Christian watching me but I don't turn back to him. It's bad enough that Christian knows even a little about _him_ ; he doesn't need to know everything else too. I can't open myself up to him, to tell him everything when he has the power to end our arrangement and walk out of my life at any moment. He knows enough; he doesn't need to know everything.

The elevator ride to the floor of my apartment is quiet; neither Christian, Taylor or myself say anything. I'm not mad at Christian for asking about my childhood; I just didn't expect him to be able to read me so easily. It's as if he could see right through me; as if he could see parts of me that even I can't see. I don't k now why he cares whether or not I think I deserve better than _him_ ; isn't it enough that I swore I would never end up with someone like that again?

"Ana, I'm sorry. I over stepped and I didn't mean to upset you," Christian apologizes as we stand awkwardly at the door to the apartment.

"It's not you Christian, it's me. There are certain times of my life that I just don't like talking about-"

"I get it; really I do."

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner tonight, I had a nice time with your family," I desperately need to change the subject before things become even more uncomfortable out here.

" _Thank you_ for coming, I know my parents were glad you could come as well. I believe Elena has been in touch about this week?"

"Yes, the business dinner and then the charity dinner over the weekend."

"I'll have to check with Andrea, but I think there is something next week too."

"Sure, no problem."

"Good night Ana and again I'm sorry that I overstepped earlier; I didn't' mean to upset you."

Before I can respond, Christian surprises me by kissing me….on the lips. I'm caught so off guard I swear I just stand there trying to make sense of the fact that his soft lips are against mine. I'm just about to wrap my arms around him when he pulls back from me. He places one last quick kiss on my lips before turning around and walking back to the elevator where Taylor has been waiting with his back towards us. With a heated face, I unlock on the apartment door and turn off the alarm. I take a quick shower, change into a pair of pajamas and head to bed. Surprisingly sleep quickly finds me, although I have to force myself not to keep thinking about how Christian's lips felt against mine or to think about why he kissed me tonight how he did.

 _Flashback_

 _"You're such a fucking liar! I know where you were with him today; I know that's why you're late!"_

 _"No, I swear I wasn't. I…I left school late, I had to talk to my teacher-"_

 _SLAP_

 _"Don't lie to me! Why did you need to talk to your teacher? Did you do something wrong?"_

 _"No. He asked to see me about working on the school newspaper. He wanted me to write an article-"_

 _"That's a lie! All you ever do is lie! You're just like your mother – a fucking liar who is good for absolutely nothing! You're going to end up just lie she did – alone and miserable. No one will ever love you; no one will ever put up with your lies. You will never amount to anything. I'm done. I knew the moment I was called about you that you would be nothing but a piece of shit like your mother is. You've caused me nothing but problems since you came here. I'm calling tomorrow, I want you out of here!"_

 _"I'm….I'm sorry. Please….I didn't mean-"_

 _"You didn't mean what? To ruin my life? Well congratulations you have! Yet again I've had to clean up your mother's mess and I fucking tired of it! Get the fuck out of here. I don't want to fucking see you again!"_

 _"Ow!" I yelp in pain as I wasn't fast enough to dodge whatever she threw at me that just hit me in the back._

 _"Get the fuck out of here! Stay in your room the rest of the night. Don't you dare come out for dinner either. You're not getting anything tonight!"_

 _She's throwing things down the hallway as I desperately try to make my way to the small bedroom that I sleep in. My bedroom is nothing more than a closet that they put a small bed in on the floor; my clothes are hanging on the rod above me. The room is small and dark, but I don't mind, in here I know I'm safe. She never comes in here. I scream as something else hits my back when I stop to open my door; I don't turn around to see what it was. I throw myself into my room and close the door quickly behind me. I turn on the small lamp that sits on the floor next to my mattress. When I pull my shirt off I'm not surprised to find blood already on the back of it._


	29. Chapter 28

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 28 CPOV:**

 _"See tonight wasn't so bad was it?" the mean man says._

 _Mommy was gone for a long time tonight; Lisa didn't come again. Lisa doesn't come anymore. I miss Lisa; she made really good cookies and would bring me some when she comes over._

 _"Here, take some of this it will make you feel better," he tells Mommy._

 _"No, please last time I couldn't take care of –"_

 _"Don't fucking talk to me about him! I told you he was your problem. This will make you feel better; it will make you forget everything."_

 _"No, please I don't want-"_

 _"That's it, just let it start working. You'll start to feel better in a few minutes. I have something special lined up for you tomorrow; I need you feeling really good for it. This makes you feel good doesn't it?"_

 _"Hmmmmmm."_

 _"I'll be back tomorrow night for you. Make sure the brat is out of my sight and be ready; it's going to be a long night."_

 _The mean man slams the door shut and I wait for Mommy to tell me it's okay to come out. She doesn't talk for a long time; I hear her making weird noises but she doesn't tell me to come out. I'm not supposed to come out from under my bed until Mommy tells me it's safe to come out. I stay under my bed; it's safe here, my cars and trucks are here. The mean man can't come under here; he won't fit under my bed – he's too big._

 _"Let's go! Rise and shine!"_

 _Uh Oh! The mean man is back. I wrap the blanket around me just like Mommy showed me so he can't see me._

 _"Come on bitch! I told you to fucking be ready when I came back!"_

 _It's dark under in my room; I like the dark, it keeps me safe. I'm safe under my bed. The mean man can't hurt me here. I still have marks on my belly from the last time he hurt me. I don't want him to hurt me again so I stay under my bed until Mommy says it's safe._

 _"FUCK! What did you do?"_

 _The mean man is screaming and saying bad words. He comes into my room; I can see his dirty shoes in front of my bed. I'm scared. I don't want him to hurt me again._

 _"Where are you? Little shit where the fuck are you?"_

 _I don't answer, Mommy told me not to come out until she says it's safe. Mommy didn't say it's safe; I can't come out. I want the mean man to go away. He needs to go home; this isn't his home. He doesn't live with me and mommy._

 _"Listen….your mommy isn't….fuck kid your mom is dead. I need to get the fuck out of here…this isn't my fucking problem. Don't you dare tell the cops what I look like, you understand? If you do, I will kill you. You will be dead just like your mother is. Don't fucking tell the cops what I look like, understand?"_

 _I don't talk; I'm too scared._

 _"Answer me fucker! Do you fucking understand?" My bed bangs; I think he kicked it. I move closer to the wall; I can't let him hurt me like he hurt me before._

 _"hmmm mmmm," I shake my head but I don't think he can see me._

 _"Damn, and she was going to make me a shitload tonight. Fuck….I'll have to see if Suzie can do it. She won't earn as much money but at least tonight won't be a total fucking waste."_

 _The door to our apartment shuts hard; something falls off the wall and onto the floor in the other room. I don't hear the mean man again, but I'm scared. Was the mean man lying? Is my Mommy really dead? Is that why she didn't tell me that it was safe to come out?_

FUCK! I wake up sweating with my blankets thrown off the bed; I can't seem to catch my breath and my body is shaking. This nightmare is always the worst; I'll never forget what I saw when I opened my bedroom door that day. I'll never be able to rid myself of that memory. Most days though I can keep myself from remembering it but then this fucking nightmare comes and brings it right back to the surface. The clock next to my bed lets me know it's barely three in the morning; too fucking early to wake up Taylor and go for a run. Even if that's what I pay him for, I'm not that much of a dick to wake him up at this hour. I know there's no point in trying to go back to sleep tonight; there's no way I will be able to close my eyes and not picture her body lying on the living room floor. I weigh my options as to what the hell I can do at this hour of the morning. I doubt I can get any real work done so there's no point in even trying. I can at least recognize that it's not safe for me to go running in the middle of the night without Taylor so that's also out. I decide to head to the gym downstairs and hit the treadmill to see if that helps. It isn't ideal, but at least it's something.

I throw on a shirt and head down to the gym; I'm not worried about not telling Taylor because after he realizes I'm not in the apartment he will probably check the building's security feed and see that I didn't leave the building. The gym is empty which is not a real surprise given the time of the morning it is and really I prefer it this way. I put my ear buds in and start the playlist on my phone before setting the speed on the treadmill. I immediately lose myself in the rhythm of running and thankfully my thoughts begin to fade away from that horrible day so many years ago.

After an hour, I finally feel like my head is clear enough to start my day. I slow the treadmill down to a walk and look around me. The gym itself is still empty but there is one woman swimming in the indoor pool that the gym overlooks. It only takes me a brief second to recognize the beautiful woman swimming is no other than Ana. I'm surprised to see her in the pool at four o'clock in the morning; I know she is off today from the bakery so that isn't the reason she is awake this early. I find myself worrying that she has also had a nightmare and that is the reason she is awake and in the pool this early. I idea of her having a nightmare like the one she did when I was sick bothers the hell out of me; my gut clenches remembering her screaming and how she kept apologizing and begging her ex to stop hurting her.

Without giving it a second thought, I jump off the treadmill and head out of the gym. When I get to the elevator instead of punching in the security code for the penthouse, I enter the access code for the pool. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding when I see that Ana is still swimming laps in the pool and hadn't left before I could get here. I sit at the edge of the pool with my feet in the water and watch Ana swim. I don't know why I'm here; I don't know what I'm going to say to Ana. It's like I'm drawn to her some shit like that. It's the same feeling I had last night after listening to the fucking _rules_ her ex made her follow. Of course I've known couples who have been involved in that type of relationship, but it's always been consensual. No one has been forced to stay or who hadn't agreed to the rules ahead of time. Personally, the idea of someone like that 24/7 never appealed to me; it's too much work and shifts the focus onto you rather than onto them which is where I prefer it. The relationship becomes about your rules and your expectations when you enter into that type of an arrangement. But unlike the few couples who I know who have that type of an arrangement, Ana didn't into that arrangement willingly. At least not by the way she has described what happened; from what I gather he became like that over time.

When she was describing it last night on our way back to Escala all I wanted to do was destroy the fucker who did that to her. He fucked with her so much that even more than two years later she still doesn't allow herself to have more than one drink when she is out with someone and I doubt that she even realizes she is still following his rule about that. But our car ride back to Escala last night also made me realize how little Ana thinks of herself. She honestly does not see the wonderful person she is; she wouldn't admit that she deserve better than the asshole who used to hit her. How the hell does she not see that? Hell, even I know I'm not good enough for Ana!

"Christian! You scared me!" Ana finally comes up from the water and sees me sitting there. I have no idea how long I've been sitting here watching her swim back and forth in the pool and I'm kind of embarrassed at that.

"I was in the gym and saw you swimming down here. What are you doing here so early?"

"Couldn't sleep," she shrugs as if not wanting to admit the real reason she is down there at this hour. "What about you? Why were you in gym this early?"

"Couldn't sleep," I smirk repeating her vague answer.

"Touche," she giggles.

"You like to swim?"

"I was on the swim team in high school for a little while; before I moved….came here I hadn't been swimming in years. I forgot how relaxing it was."

When she gets out of the pool I nearly groan; she's wearing the bathing suit I had purchased for her last weekend when we spent the day on the boat. She walks past me, over to the lounge chair where she had a towel waiting for her. I watch, almost fascinated, as she dries the dripping water off of her body. I can't help but wonder what it would be like to lick each drop of water off of her.

"Christian?" Thankfully, Ana pulls me from my naughty thoughts before my dick decides to make the thoughts obvious to her.

"Sorry, I have a big meeting this morning I was thinking about," I lie.

"I asked if you wanted to come back to the apartment for some breakfast? But if you have a meeting…"

"No, breakfast would be nice. Let me run up to my place to change; I'm kind of sweaty from the treadmill."

"Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes?"

"Sure; thank you Ana."

Ana gets off the elevator at her floor while I ride the rest of the way alone to my apartment. When the doors open I'm greeted by silence which is no surprise. Typically Taylor doesn't come out of his apartment until closer to five and Gail not until six when we are due back from our morning run. I quickly wash up and change into a pair of jeans and a casual shirt before heading to Ana's apartment. When I approach her door, I'm, immediately reminded of standing here last night when things were still a little awkward between us after her confession in the car. I remember her looking up at me and me seeing nothing but pain in her eyes. I didn't know what to do but once again I found myself overwhelmed with the sudden need to comfort her. She is the only person I've ever felt such a strong protectiveness over; well outside of my family of course. I didn't know how to comfort her last night, so I did the only thing that came natural to me. I kissed her. For the first time since her nightmare, _I_ kissed her on the lips. And it felt…..it left me needing a very cold shower when I finally got back to my apartment. All I really wanted to do was take her into her apartment and fuck her senseless until she forgot everything that those bastards did to her. Thankfully I realized how that would only fuck things up between us and just end up hurting her more which is when I walked away.

I'm surprised to find myself standing outside her door again; surprised that she invited me to breakfast and more surprised that I said yes. My response came without hesitation or thought which is something that rarely occurs for me. I could have easily declined her invitation, returned to my apartment and began preparing for the day ahead of me. Instead, I'm once again standing outside the door to Ana's apartment. I take a deep breath and knock on the door.

"Christian, come in. Breakfast is just about ready. Would you like a cup of coffee?" Ana greets me a few seconds later.

"Yes, thank you."

I follow Ana into the kitchen area where she hands me a cup of hot coffee and encourages me to sit at the table in the dining room. I look around the apartment as this is the first time I've been here since Ana moved in. In fact, I don't think I've been in here since before Roz and Gwen moved in. Looking around though, I realize the apartment looks the exact same as it did the last time I was in here. The walls a bare except for a few landscape pictures that I had Andrea order for the space in an effort to make it feel more comfortable to the employees who stayed here while they looked for a new place to live upon relocation. The kitchen counters are bare, even the fridge is free of magnets or papers hanging up. It doesn't seem like Ana has done very much with the space since she moved in at all.

"I hope you like blueberry pancakes," Ana puts a plate of hot pancakes in front of me.

"I do, thank you."

Ana takes a seat across from me with her plate and cup of coffee. We eat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before my curiosity gets the better of me.

"You know you can redecorate or paint in here if you wanted to," I suggest.

"Nah, it's fine just the way it is. Actually I'm starting to look for my own place so-"

"What?" I'm really hoping I didn't just hear her correctly.

"I…I've begun the process of looking for my apartment. I have a few places that I'm hoping to look at in the next couple of weeks-"

"Ana, if you don't like something about this apartment-"

"No! Gosh no, Christian this place is perfect!"

"Then what is it? Why do you want to move out?"

"Christian…this is your apartment. This isn't my place. This move was temporary, it was never a permanent arrangement for me. I could never afford to live in a million dollar condo like this."

Two million, but I don't correct her.

"Ana, before I moved into Escala I looked at a number of different places. Escala has the highest level of security available; every other building you look at will fall short."

"I don't doubt that Christian," she shrugs and sighs. "The reality is I can't afford even a studio apartment in this building, and that's okay. I won't be going back to where I used to live that's for sure. I'm hoping to find a place with decent security-"

"You won't Ana. That's what I'm trying to tell you; nothing you look at will compare to Escala."

"I know that Christian. What I find won't be Escala, but it will be safer than where I was before here."

"Why do you want to move Ana? If there is something you don't like about this apartment we can change it-"

"Christian, you don't get it," she shakes her head as if I'm missing something obvious. "This is _your_ apartment, not mine."

"It's yours for as long as you need it Ana."

"I _needed_ this place after my last apartment was broken into; I can afford my own place so I no longer _need_ this apartment Christian."

"Okay, need was the wrong word. This place is yours for as long as you want it Ana. Stay here; the building is secure, you don't need to worry about someone breaking in or the press bothering you and you have access to all the amenities that Escala has to offer."

"For how long Christian? Any way you look at it, this apartment is temporary."

"For as long as you want to stay Ana! I don't need the apartment-"

"And what happens when you do? What happens when you hire someone who needs a place to stay while they relocate?"

"We have other condos that GEH owns Ana, that's the least of my concerns. I want to keep you safe, to keep the press away from you, and here I can do that."

"And what happens when this," she waves her hands between us. "ends? I'll have nowhere to go; I will have no place of my own. I'll have to settle for whatever I can find at that moment which will probably mean I'll end up in a hotel for a little while when I find a place. I won't do that again Christian. If I find my own place now, than when this ends I'll still have my own place."

"Is that what you're worried about? Do you really think I would just kick you out when this arrangement ends?"

"I don't know," she shrugs and avoids looking at me which answers my question more than her words do. I'm completely taken back that she would think I would just kick her out when our arrangement ends.

"Ana…."I sigh and run my hands through my hair trying to figure out how to convince her that would never happen. Hell, I'd fucking give her the apartment if I thought that was what she wanted but I learned my lesson the last time I tried to offer her money. "Look, I get it….you need something of your own; you don't want to be completely dependent on me."

"Yeah," she whispers but still doesn't look at me.

"Ana, I would hope that by now you would know be well enough to know that I wouldn't put you on the streets just because our arrangement ended; I know part of you knows that," she attempts to her interrupt but I don't let her. "But I also know because of your past you have doubts. What if we put together a legal contract that gave you the right to stay here if we ended things? You would have a place to stay that is safe while we're in this arrangement together but when it ends you would have the time you needed to find a place of your own?"

"You would do that?" she finally makes eye contact with me and I immediately feel relieved.

"Of course Ana. I'll have my legal team draw up a contract that says if our relationship is ended by either party that you have the right to remain in the condo for up to six months following the termination of our relationship. Ana, I want you to be safe and Escala offers the best security possible. The press haven't bothered you too much yet but that could change at any time. Will you consider staying?"

"I'll think about it," she agrees.

Thank God. I don't know what I would have done if Ana had insisted on moving out. Short of buying her a house somewhere outside of the city, no one can offer the security that Escala has. That was the reason I choose to live here after leaving _her_. I knew I needed top security to ensure she couldn't access my apartment ever again. Escala guaranteed that. Having Ana here means I can't guarantee the press won't bother her but also that there is no chance of anyone from her past getting to her.

"I need to get going; I have an early meeting that I need to prepare for," I realize that my meeting starts in thirty minutes and I'm not even dressed yet for the office.

"Thank you for having breakfast with me Christian."

"Please think about what I've said. Can I email you the contract my legal department draws up?"

"Yes, that would be fine."

"I'll see you later this week?"

"Yes, for dinner."

I lean down and kiss her softly on the cheek before leaving her apartment and heading back upstairs. When the elevator doors open, Taylor immediately walks into the foyer but doesn't say anything. I have no doubt that he knew where I was since he didn't call my phone.

"Will you be needing breakfast sir?" he asks.

"No, I'll be ready to leave in ten minutes," I confirm.

"You may want to check your email when you have a moment."

"Any email in particular I should focus on? I'm sure I have dozens right now."

"From me sir; it contains a link to something Barney found online about you this morning."

 ** _Is Seattle's infamous playboy single again?_**

 _It's been more than three weeks since Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele were seen together; has their time together ended already? Did she run like all the other women in his life? Did she find out the dirty secret that he tries to hide from everyone? Once again, we have to wonder if Christian Grey can't keep one woman happy how on earth can he keep hundreds of employees happy? How much longer will GEH be successful at this rate?_


	30. Chapter 29

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 29 APOV:**

This week is turning out like nothing I could have expected. I've had to take some time off from the bakery because the press has been hanging out there trying to talk to me. It started the day after the article came out questioning whether or not Christian and I are still together. The first day the press was manageable; Sawyer was able to keep them out of the bakery but by the second day the amount of press there had doubled. Even after Sawyer requested additional security from Taylor they were barely managing. Even worse, the reporters were keeping away some of the regular customers.

 _"Ana, dear can I see you for a moment?" Ginny asks just as I'm about to take my break._

 _"Of course Ginny."_

 _"Look Ana….I don't know how to say this…."_

 _"What's wrong Ginny? Is everything okay with your daughter?"_

 _"Oh goodness….yes, thankfully everyone is fine," she takes a deep breath before continuing and in my gut I know this isn't good news. "Ana, I want you to know how happy I am for you. You deserve the best life has to offer, especially after….everything. I'm so glad that you finally let someone in, someone who can make you happy. I haven't seen you smile this much in all the times I've known you. I'm really happy for you Ana."_

 _"Thank you Ginny," I can't help but give my reply with caution. I feel a big but coming on._

 _"The thing is Ana…..the press…"_

 _"I know Ginny. I'm so sorry that they won't leave; I don't know how to keep them away."_

 _"Unfortunately Ana, I'm sure you've noticed that the press is keeping our business away. If it was up to me I would just ride this out and wait for them to leave. Unfortunately, this isn't only about me. The sale was finalized just the other day so I have to think about the new owners. While they aren't aware of what is going on yet, I'm sure once our numbers start coming in for this week they will question the drop in sales. What I'm trying to say is…I think it might be best if you took sometime off-"_

 _"Are you….firing me?" I gulp even saying the words._

 _"NO! Of course not Ana. No matter what happens you will always have a job here as long as I have a say in the matter. I'm just suggesting that perhaps you need to take some time off until this all dies down. Maybe just a few days until they move onto a different story? I'm really happy that you found someone who loves you Ana, really I am. I just wish the press would stop following you around and reporting your every move."_

 _"I know Ginny, I feel the same way but unfortunately the press seems to love reporting Christian's every move."_

 _"I wish I didn't have to ask this of you Ana, but-"_

 _"No, it's fine Ginny. I understand really."_

 _"Hopefully in a few days this will all die down and you can come back without the press."_

I never expected this whole thing with Christian to impact my job at the bakery; I never thought the press would hound me the way they have been this week. I guess up until now I've been lucky; the press has left me alone. After the article earlier this week highlighting the fact that Christian and I haven't made a public appearance together in a few weeks, the press just started hounding me nonstop. More articles have been written this week, actually reporting what each of us do every day. Tonight Christian and I are going out for a business dinner, which I'm sure there will be press at. Tomorrow I'm going shopping with Mia; Sawyer has already let me know that we will be bringing additional security with us since there will be two of us and only one of him.

The one thing I don't understand is why the press give a shit about what Christian does in his personal life? I gave up reading most of the articles; I just kind of skim the headlines now. Some of them hint at the reason Christian is pictured with so many women is because he is actually gay and hasn't come out yet. That one doesn't make sense to me at all since there are so many pictures of Christian with his ex; does the press think that was all for show or that he discovered his sexual preference after her? Some articles suggest he is hiding something that causes women to run away when they find it out. For the life of me I can't figure out what they think Christian is hiding. They act like he is a horrible monster in private, when just the opposite is true.

 _Knock knock_

Shit! I was so lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized the time.

"Would you mind coming in for a minute? I just need two more minutes; I'm running a little late."

"Of course, take your time Ana."

With Christian in the living room, I quickly dart into the bedroom to put on my strappy sandals. Tonight I'm wearing a simple black fitted dress that has a few large red roses on it. I have a red wrap that will cover my bare shoulders in case the air gets chilly tonight. I'm not sure what tonight's dinner is about, but the dress seems like the perfect mix between business and casual.

"Sorry about that, I'm ready now."

"You look very nice Ana," Christian puts his hand on my back as he leads me out of the apartment.

"I heard the press was bothering you this week Ana," Christian says once we are seated in the SUV.

"They seem to have really come at me full force this week," I admit. "I was really surprised that they followed me to work."

"I know," he sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "I wish this wasn't my life, but unfortunately this comes with the territory I suppose. Are they still bothering you at work?"

"No….but that's probably because I'm not working right now."

"What? What happened?"

"Ginny suggested I take some time off until things calm down. Unfortunately it was impacting business; regular customers who have come in daily for years stopped coming in because the reporters were asking them questions about me."

"Oh Ana. I'm so sorry. I'll fix this-"

"There's nothing you can do Christian. Once the press dies down, Ginny has assured me that I will still have a job so I just need to wait it out. I'm sure they will stop once they realize they aren't getting anything from me."

"I'll start having a weekly check deposited into your bank account-"

"You'll WHAT?!"

"For your lost wages, I'll cover them of course."

"Um, no you won't."

"Ana. You're not working because of me; its' only fair that I cover your lost wages."

"No."

"No?"

"No. You have given me a place to stay completely rent free; I will not allow you to give me money every week too."

"But-"

"No. Thanks to this arrangement I already have good amount of money saved-"

"But that was so you can go back to school-"

"And I will; trust me I won't be emptying the account if I don't work for a week or two. I have minimal expenses so taping into my savings won't take much out of the account."

"I just don't understand why you won't let me do this. If it wasn't for me you would still be working at the bakery."

"Yes, that's true. But if it wasn't for you I would be living in a shitty apartment right now that is raided by the police every other week. Where I have to step over people who are drunk or high just to get into my building and where the electricity was routinely turned off by the owner; I prefer staying at Escala over that."

"Ana….you really are like no one I've ever met," he sighs heavily but I'm not sure if it's in frustration or anger.

"I'll take that as a compliment," I say although I'm not sure if that's how he meant it.

"You should."

"So tell me what tonight is about. Elena just said it was a business dinner."

"It's a celebratory dinner; we just closed a deal to acquire this company and Roz thought it would good to take them out to celebrate. We purchased a company that we intend to break apart and sell to other companies which the previous owners are unaware of. They've tried to keep the company going but unfortunately they didn't stay up to date with the changing things in their field which led to their company falling further and further behind."

"Why not just tell them up front that you intend to break apart the company?"

"Because then they wouldn't have agreed to sell to us."

"And you wanted the company?"

"It made good financial sense. I'll make back three times what I purchased the company for."

"Why didn't the sellers do that to begin with? It sounds like they could have walked away with more money in their pockets."

"Most people don't see that as an option. They were reluctant to even sell but unfortunately they could no longer pay their employees and the bank has started the foreclosure proceedings on the building they own."

"Wow…that bad?"

"Unfortunately, it happens quite often. The industry has a way of turning, often with little notice. If you don't pay attention and make the changes, you get passed by."

"Sir, ma'am, just to warn you I believe we were followed when we left Escala," Taylor alerts us.

"Reporters?" Christian asks.

"I believe so."

"Unfuckenbelievable! All this over a fucking dinner," Christian shakes his head.

"Think of this way, maybe it will be the confirmation the press needs that we are still together."

"Maybe."

The moment we pull up to the restaurant, reporters are snapping our picture. We barely make it out of the car before they start screaming questions at us.

"Mr. Grey! Mr. Grey! Are you and Ms Steele still an item?"

"Why haven't you been seen together in three weeks?"

"What are you hiding?"

"What do you say to reports that GEH is suffering because of your personal life?"

"I say that my financial reports indicate otherwise," Christian snaps at the young reporter who dared to ask about GEH.

Taylor and Sawyer lead us through the crowd of reporters who continue to snap pictures of us and question our relationship status. Christian's arm is wrapped firmly around my waist anchoring me to him as we try to make our way to the front of door.

"Ladies, Gentleman," Christian addresses the crowd before we go into dinner. "Ms. Steele and I are here to celebrate a successful business deal. I am aware that there are reports that we haven't been together in the last few weeks, however as you can now see we are very much still together. Now, if you will excuse us we have a dinner reservation to keep."

Seconds later we are inside the warmth of the restaurant and my ears finally stop buzzing from all the questions being yelled at us. We are escorted to our table where we are the last ones to arrive which I know disappoints Christian. Had it not been for the press outside, I'm confident we would have been the first to arrive.

"So Ana, how are you enjoying being famous?" Roz asks as I sit next to her.

"UGH, I don't get why they care so much about what Christian does."

"Seattle's youngest billionaire who just happens to be good looking and single? Can you blame them Ana?" Gwen asks.

"I get that part, but still they act like his personal life has some bearing on his business decisions."

"That part pisses me off," Roz agrees.

Dinner goes well, I chat with Roz and Gwen while Christian talks with the owners of the company he just bought. I try to make small talk with the owners but they aren't very talkative so I stick with chatting with Gwen and Roz who make me feel very comfortable. Less than two hours after we arrive, dinner is over and everyone says goodbye. Unlike when we arrived, Christian and I are escorted by Sawyer to a rear entrance where Taylor is waiting with the SUV. The press doesn't see us leave and get back to Escala without being followed.

"Thank you for coming to dinner with me tonight Ana. I'm sorry the press has been bothering you so much," Christian says as we stand outside the apartment door.

"Well at least the food was good," I joke.

"That it was."

"Oh, I'm not sure if you remembered but I'm going shopping with Mia tomorrow-"

"She has made sure I haven't forgotten," he chuckles.

"Oh?"

"She's texted me several times this week reminding me that you two planned to go out tomorrow. She's very excited about it."

"I hope you don't mind; when she asked me-"

"No, it's fine Ana. I mean, if I'm completely honest I wasn't expecting so much overlap between this arrangement and my family," I nod in agreement because I kind of knew he wasn't expecting it. "But my family really likes you, so if this makes them happy than I'm fine with it. Unless you mind-"

"No! Not at all," I quickly interrupt. "It's been a long time since I've gone shopping with someone so I'm looking forward to it."

"Here's my card," he pulls a black American express card from his wallet and hands it to me.

"What's this for?"

"For tomorrow."

"I'm not following…."

"Ana, you're going shopping for the charity dinner this weekend right?" I nod. "Normally I would be paying for your outfit for the evening anyway; Elena sends me a bill for your purchases and I pay for them. However since you can't very well tell the store to charge it to Elena here is my credit card for the purchase."

"Christian….I don't know that I feel right having this."

"Ana, I trust you with it. Buy your outfit for the weekend and treat my sister to lunch. She's expecting you to whip out my credit card for the dress anyway."

"Why would she expect that?"

"She just would. You're going with me to the dinner, so it's only natural that I would pay for your outfit."

"I could pay for it myself."

"You could, but you won't and she won't suspect anything. If you paid for it yourself she would probably flat out ask you why I'm not paying for it. Don't worry about it Ana. It's no different than when you go to Stacy's and have it charged to Elena."

"I guess."

"Stay with Sawyer and Rennolds tomorrow, I have no doubt that the press will follow you when you shop. If it gets out of hand, just come back here. I can always have someone send over dresses for you to shop from home and not have to deal with the press. In fact maybe we should do that instead."

"Christian, we'll be fine."

"Just stay with them please; I don't trust the press."

"I will."

"I'll pick you up on Saturday?"

"I'll be ready."

"Good night Ana."

"Night Christian."

He leans down to kiss me when the air seems to shift between us; his eyes lock onto mine and his face stops only inches from mine. He moves a piece of my hair to just behind my ear, a sweet move that surprises me, just before his lips find mine. The kiss is soft at first, but his lips become firm against mine as he wraps his arm around my lower back pulling me against him. My arms go around his neck; my fingers weave through the back of his hair as I completely lose myself in the kiss. I can't help but gasp when I feel Christian's tongue against my lips. He cautiously enters my mouth, almost as if he is afraid of my reaction but I don't push him away or stop him. I am completely caught up in the kiss; I can't remember the last time I was ever kissed so…passionately.

 _Ring ring_

"Fuck," Christian pulls away at the sound of his phone ringing from his pocket.

The ringing of his phone eventually stops a few seconds later. Our heavy breathing is the only sound that can be heard in the hallway which is when I suddenly remember that we are standing in the middle of the hallway outside my apartment. What's worse is that Taylor is standing only a few feet away at the elevator, thankfully though his back is towards us although I have no doubt that he knows exactly what just happened between us.

"Ana…." His eyes find mine and I'm pretty sure I see regret in them.

"Good night Christian," I kiss him on the lips softly one last time before I turn and enter my apartment.

I lock the door, turn off the alarm and collapse on the loveseat trying to make sense out of what just happened. Things seemed to have been going good between us; dinner went well and I thought the kiss had gone good too. But then why did Christian suddenly look like he regretted kissing me? Did he regret blurring the lines? Did he think he made a mistake? Did he think that I didn't want to kiss him? I couldn't just stand there; I knew the next words out of his mouth would have been an apology. I don't need to hear him tell me he was sorry for kissing me. Not when for the first time in years, I felt alive. No one has ever kissed me like Christian just did. No one has ever made me lose myself in a kiss; I've never felt like I did a few minutes ago and I couldn't stand there and let him apologize for that. I don't want to hear that he regrets what just happened because of the stupid rules of the contract. I reread the contract the other week after I had kissed him, it does not say that we can't kiss. The only thing it exclusively prohibits is sex so we have done nothing wrong. I'm sure Christian being the knowledgeable business man that he is would know this. If he regretted kissing me it wouldn't be because he was worried we violated some part of the contract.

I give up trying to figure out Christian's motives and get ready for bed. Unfortunately sleep doesn't find me easily and I'm in the pool by three thirty desperately trying to swim the memories of the nightmare away. I keep looking for Christian, expecting to see him by the pool like he was the other morning but he never comes. Part of me is disappointed but part of me is also relieved as I'm not sure what I would say to him if he was here this morning. Since I won't be seeing Christian again until the charity dinner on Saturday I figure I have two days to figure out if I should say something to him or just forget that it happened or wait for him to bring it up. Vowing not to think about the kiss again today, I spend the morning doing laundry and getting ready for my shopping trip with Mia.

 _Knock Knock_

"Are you ready Ana?" It took weeks, but I've finally convinced Sawyer to stop calling me Ms. Steele.

"All ready," I confirm. "Are we picking up Mia?"

"We're meeting her at Neiman's; Rennolds is picking her up."

When we arrive at the department store, Mia is there waiting for us and immediately engulfs me in a huge hug when she sees me approaching. I'm surprised that Christian has arranged for us to have a private dressing room for the entire day along with a personal shopper. Mia doesn't bat an eye at the arrangements; I assume this is pretty typical for her when she goes shopping.

"Ana, you have to try this on!" Mia holds up what can only be described as gaudy; I desperately try to come up with the words to tell her that there is no way in hell I would be wearing that to the dinner on Saturday night without hurting her feelings. "Oh my God! You should see the look on your face!"

"I thought you were serious!" I can't help but join in her laughing.

"I hate trying on dresses, so I like to mix it up and try on silly ones. It helps pass the time and make the trip more enjoyable."

"Ah, makes sense. In that case you should try on this," I hold up a neon pink beaded dress that looks like something out of the 50's.

Over the next hour, we have managed to hand the personal shopper dozens of dresses that she has arranged to be hung up for us in the dressing room. The dressing room is a large room with two areas closed off with curtains to provide privacy while we change. The entire room is reserved for us so as Mia and I try on outfits we take turns modeling them. I'm trying on the third dress when I hear my phone buzzing with a text. Mia apparently decided to send Christian and I pictures of the dresses we have tried on so far.

 _Sorry for the texts while you're at work. I hadn't realized Mia was going to send you the pictures –Ana_

Up until now I haven't had Christian's cell phone number so I hope he doesn't mind me texting him. I'm sure he is swamped at work and the last thing he needs or wants is to receive texts from Mia as we play dress up. When he doesn't respond I stick the phone back in my purse and continue on with our modeling show. A couple of hours later, Mia and I have both found dresses for the charity dinner on Saturday. As Christian predicted, Mia doesn't bat an eye when I hand the personal shopper Christian's credit card as a payment for my dress. Sawyer arranges the delivery of the dresses while Mia and I discuss lunch plans. We settle on a small bistro a few blocks from the department store, but the minute we step out of the dressing room we are blinded by the flashes of cameras.

"Right this way ladies," Sawyer leads Mia and I through the crowd while Rennolds follows closely behind us.

"Where's Christian Grey?"

"Is he aware that you two are out shopping?"

"What event are you shopping for?"

"Anastasia, what do you say to the rumors that Christian Grey can't keep a woman happy?"

"Mia, why do you think all the women in your brother's life run away from him? Is he hiding something?"

"Why don't you all just leave my brother alone? It's none of your business what he does with his personal life!" Mia exclaims just before we split up to head towards our cars.

Thankfully only a few minutes I'm safe inside the SUV, although a couple reporters continue to snap pictures of the car. Honestly, I don't understand what the big deal is: I went shopping with Christian's sister; this is news? With everything else going on in the world, reporters decide they need to focus on what we bought for a charity dinner?

 _Lunch another time? – Mia_

 _Definitely –Ana_

"How did they know where we were Sawyer?"

"We suspect one of the employees tipped off the press after recognizing you. We are trying to determine who it was who notified the press so it can be addressed."

I shake my head in disbelief; while I worked as a personal shopper I never would have dreamed of calling the press if a client was there. Granted, I never worked with anyone I think the press would care about but still, I wouldn't have invaded someone's privacy like that. When we reach Escala, I'm once again thankful for the security in the building as we pull into the private underground parking garage that can only be accessed by a key card. If the paparazzi were following us, they wouldn't have been able to make it into the garage. This week has forced me to realize I need to accept Christian's offer to stay in Escala through the duration of our arrangement. I've realized I could never afford to live in an apartment with this type of security which means I would be dealing with the press on my own every time I left my apartment or tried to come home.

When I get home, I change into a pair of comfy yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt seeing as though I am not planning on leaving the apartment again today. I curl up on the loveseat and start to read a book that I've read before but one that I could read many times without losing interest. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep from the previous night catches up with me and I soon fall asleep. I must have slept for a couple of hours because when I wake up the room has darkened as I l didn't leave any lights on. I grab my phone to check the time and realize I have a text message from Christian which is surprising because I haven't heard from him all day.

 _I need to talk to you. Are you free tonight? –Christian_

 _Yes, I'm free. Home now. –Ana_

 _Do you want to come to my apartment? – Christian_

 _Or, if you would rather I can reserve a private room somewhere? – Christian_

 _No, I'll come up. –Ana_

I know why he offered the private room, but at this point it's unnecessary. I spent the weekend at his apartment and then we spent an entire day on his boat in the middle of nowhere; I no longer have any worries about spending time alone with Christian. Plus, I know in his apartment we're not truly alone since both Gail and Taylor live there. I quickly use the bathroom, throw my hair into a messy bun and slip on a pair of shoes before setting the alarm to head upstairs.

"Good evening Ms. Steele," Taylor startles me as soon as I open the door.

"Oh! I wasn't expecting you Taylor."

"You can't access Mr. Grey's penthouse without the security code which you don't have," he explains.

"Oh."

A few minutes later, the elevator doors open to Christian's expansive foyer.

"Mr. Grey is in his office," Taylor ushers me down the hallway to Christian's office.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele has arrived," Taylor announces.

"Thank you, please come in Ana," Christian gestures for me to sit in the chair across from this desk. I'm immediately reminded of the last time I was in here. If Christian tries to give me money again, I swear I'm going to scream. I really hope he doesn't think he needs to pay me for today-

"Ana….we need to talk."

"Okay…." Well this wasn't what I was expecting and Christian's uneasiness is alarming.

"I…..I…." he runs his hands through his hair and takes a deep breath before continuing. "I think we need to end our contract with Elena."

 _Author's Note: I'm running and ducking now! Be kind please._


	31. Chapter 30

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Holy Cow guys! 160 reviews for one single chapter! I hope all of you survived your heart attacks without any permanent damage! I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the reviews on the cliffhanger in the last chapter and the many theories about what Christian wanted to meet about. There have been a few comments that this story is moving slowly, but I want to remind you of the summary of this story. This is not going to be one where Ana and Christian meet and fall in love immediately. They both have baggage that prevents them from letting themselves fall in love again. We'll get there….just hang in there with me while our favorite couple works through their issues._

 **Chpt. 30 CPOV**

My phone has been buzzing all morning with text messages from Mia; normally this would drive me crazy and frustrate me to no end since it's the middle of the work day. However from the moment I see the first picture of Ana smiling in an awful green dress with too much lace I can't help but chuckle. I've been down this road with Mia before; she loves to try on ugly or silly dresses when she shops and clearly she has gotten Ana involved in in her little game.

The pictures all make me chuckle….until the one entitled "Pretty Woman." The picture has Ana wearing an incredibly short and tight dark blue mini skirt with white tube top; all that is missing are the fishnet stockings. While this is one of Mia's favorite movies, the similarities are not lost on me. Of course Ana was not a prostitute when I met her, but there are some similarities to the movie that I can't ignore. There is no denying that Ana looks incredibly sexy in the picture and seeing her in so little clothing has me thinking of how it felt to kiss her last night. I don't know what came over me when I went to kiss her goodnight after our dinner; I was just overwhelmed with this sudden urge to kiss her. I can still remember how soft her lips felt against mine; how it felt to have her body pressed up against me while her fingers tugged at my hair. And the sounds she made! I don't know if she even knew she was making them, but every time she moaned my dick twitched with desire. I couldn't help but think about what type of sounds would make when I fucked her and that thought nearly had me at full attention. With her body pressed tightly against mine, I was having trouble controlling myself; I didn't need her becoming uncomfortable at the realization that I wanted her in that moment. I know she doesn't feel the same way I do. I want to fuck her; she wants someone to make love to her. I'd want to fuck her anyway I possible could; she would expect it to happen in a bed. I'd walk out as soon as we were done; she would expect cuddling and me to sleep with her. I don't sleep with women; I've never slept with a woman.

Except, I've slept with Ana. I still don't know what to do with that; when I signed the contract with Elena I never expected Ana to have such an impact on my life. I thought I would be able to keep this arrangement separate from my personal life; that they would only overlap at the occasional charity event that we attended with my parents. My parents adore Ana, my sister thinks she has a new best friend, I've realized Ana and I are becoming friends, Ana spent an entire weekend in my apartment and I slept with Ana. All of this from a single contract with Elena that was meant to help me change my image in the press. Originally I thought this would end in a couple of weeks; that the press would realize I was capable of having a relationship with a woman and that they would back off. However, I've realized that no matter what I do they may never back off. Ana and I have been _dating_ for about three months now and yet when we went a couple of weeks without being photographed the press was quick to drag me through the mud. I hate that the press has bothered Ana; I hate that she's had to leave her job even temporarily because of me. And I hate that Ana is so stubborn that she won't let me pay her for the income she has lost. How many women would turn that down?

"Mr. Grey?" Andrea knocks on my door pulling me from my thoughts.

"Come in Andrea."

"Mr. Morrison is requesting a meeting with you-"

"I have something scheduled with him later this week don't I?"

"Yes, but he's requesting a meeting today. He says it's urgent-"

"Okay, move what you have to in my schedule. See if Roz can cover something or reschedule it for later this week."

David Morrison is GEH's Director of Human Resources and employee relations; I know if he is requesting to see me ahead of our normally scheduled time that it is important. David has worked for me for the last five years and was quickly promoted to his current position based on his ability to relate to our employees. GEH has hundreds of employees across many different fields yet David has a solid understanding of nearly every position. He is able to talk to a disgruntled employee about an issue they may have and by the end of that conversation he will have them apologizing for their behavior and assisted them in developing a plan to correct their performance issue. He just has this knack for relating to not only employees but to the management team.

"Good afternoon Mr. Grey, thank you for meeting me on such short notice," David arrives in my office only a few minutes later.

"Of course Mr. Morrison; how are you?"

"I'm well, and you?"

"Good. Please have seat and tell me what's going on."

"Mr. Grey, as you know we conduct routine employee satisfaction surveys throughout the year and up until now we have always had gleaming results. Our employees have generally been satisfied with our compensation packages," they should be – I offer one of the best compensation packages out there to all employees. "Including their salary, health benefits and time off. We have been using these surveys for the last four years and this is the first year that the results have been less than positive-"

"What do you mean less than positive? We haven't changed anything related to benefits or pay."

"No, Mr. Grey their satisfaction with those items and their overall job responsibilities remain quite high."

"So what is it?"

"Well….sir…."

"Spit it out Davidson!"

"The area that plummeted drastically is their confidence in the CEO of GEH-"

"Their confidence in me has dropped?" I sit back in my chair in utter disbelief. I have prided myself in hiring only the best employees, in offering the best incentives and in providing a workplace in which my employees are happy which has resulted in very little turnover even in industries where turnover is generally significant. I have worked hard to portray the image of a manager that they can believe in and of a company that they can be proud to work at.

"Um….yes sir."

"Do they cite reasons for the sudden decrease in confidence? When was the last time this survey was distributed and how was their confidence level at that time?"

"The last survey was conducted roughly nine months ago; at that time their confidence level in you was high sir."

"And now?"

"It's quite low sir."

"What was the reason cited for the change in confidence? I'm assuming you asked that question?"

"Yes Mr. Grey. The survey automatically triggered a secondary question if they indicated their confidence level in the CEO was low. That question asked them to provide the reason for the low confidence."

"And?" He's frustrating me with how vague he is being.

"The consensus was the reason for the decrease in confidence in the CEO of GEH was due to the negative publicity. Several of respondents stated they are concerned about the stability of your life, your ability to manage your personal life and your professional life and the-"

"Wait, you're telling me that their confidence in me has decreased because of what the press is saying?"

"Based on the responses provided, yes sir."

"Unfuckingbelievable!"

The fucking press! Of all things to have a negative impact on now they're fucking crossing the line. I can't have them impacting my employees' confidence level in me. I can't lose staff because the press paints me to be a playboy! GEH's low turnover is one of the selling points I make in every acquisition proposal GEH presents. If I suddenly have an increase in employee turnover I will lose acquisitions that we've worked months on and spent thousands of dollars trying to close. I can't let _her_ take this away from me too. It's _her_ fault the press won't fucking leave me alone; they left me alone while we were _together_ and even for a time after things ended between us. Come to think of it, they left me alone for about a year after that. I'd suspect _she_ was behind the negative press but Taylor has kept tabs on _her_ and _she_ isn't even in the state.

"I….I thought you would want to know immediately sir."

"You were right, thank you Mr. Davidson. Forward the survey results to me when you get back to your office. I will develop a plan to address the areas in which we fell below our expectations."

"Of course Mr. Grey."

I'm fucking pissed off. I need to figure out how the fuck to fix this and fast. The only problem is I'm too fucking pissed off to think. I can't focus on anything; I can't fucking think let alone find a solution to this debacle of a situation that I'm fucking in. There's no point in getting my PR team together again, last time they weren't helpful and I ended up firing half of them for their ridiculous ideas. I fire of an angry email to my legal department requesting they notify the press that the next publication that borders on slander will result in an immediate lawsuit. Nothing will result from it as it never does; the press walks a very fine line in what they publish and so far none of it has come close to the definition of slander according to my legal team.

"Andrea, cancel the rest of my day and notify Taylor that I'm leaving in five minutes."

I don't wait for a response before I shut my computer down and put away my files from the day. I can't sit here and do nothing; I need to fucking do something and right now I need to find a way to relieve this stress so I can fucking think clearly. Nothing is more important in my life right now, outside of my family of course, than fixing this fucking mess. My entire career, GEH's future and the future of hundreds of my employees fucking depends on my next move.

"Sir?" Taylor is at my door exactly five minutes after I notified Andrea that I was leaving.

"I'm leaving Taylor."

I follow Taylor to the SUV still trying to figure out how the fuck I'm going to solve this problem. All I know is I need to clear my fucking head; actually I need to get out of my head for a little while. I need to …..

"Taylor, take me to the Blue Moon."

"Yes sir."

Forty-five minutes later, Taylor has dropped me at the front door of the Blue Moon and waited until I was cleared to enter. Taylor has never liked the fact that I come here because he is not permitted to enter with me. He doesn't like the fact that he cannot communicate with me once I enter the building as all cell phones are secured before entering. This is one of the areas Taylor and I have agreed to disagree. While I recognize his concerns, this is the safest option for me. I will not expose myself again like I did with _her_ and risk the press finding out everything again. The Blue Moon offers a place for people like me to come and do what we want without worrying about the press. The application process for a membership into the Blue Moon is very thorough to ensure people like _her_ can't get in. In addition to very hefty annual membership dues, all members go through an extensive background screening. Membership is by invitation only; you cannot just apply to become a member without an invitation and written reference from a current member. The people who belong to this club have too much to risk to go to the press themselves like me. The press can't find this place, hell if you don't know it exists you wouldn't be able to find it. There are no signs outside, there are no windows into the building. There is nothing outside except a door; when you step through the door you immediately enter the security area where you are held until the owner approves you to enter.

"Mr. Grey! It's wonderful to see you again," Christine, one of the owners greets me.

"Thank you Christine. It's nice to be back."

"It's been awhile since we've seen you here, I was beginning to think you had found somewhere else to play."

"No, I've just been busy with work."

"Not too many of our members go five months without visiting-"

"Five months? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I checked myself when security notified me you were here."

"Ummm I hadn't realized it had been that long. I assure you though I haven't been anywhere else; work has just been really hectic."

"Good to hear. Please enjoy yourself this evening."

I enter the main room and take everything in; I realize it really has been a long time since I've been here. Most of the members are the same; I only recognize two new members but it's the middle of the work day so I wouldn't be surprised if there were more new members coming later this evening. I make my way through over to the bar and order a scotch before taking a seat on one of the bar stools. Even though it's been awhile since I've been here, not much has changed. I try thinking back to the last time I was here and when I finally recall it I realize that Christine was right – it has been close to six months since I've been here. When I first joined I was here almost weekly, but eventually it dropped to once or twice a month. The last few months have been especially busy though; it's the first time since I joined the Blue Moon that I've had a personal life even if it a fake personal life.

"Chris, it's so nice to see you again," a brunette dressed in an incredibly tight dress stands next to me.

"Leila," I nod in her direction.

"I haven't seen you in awhile."

"I've been busy."

"I've heard."

"Something you want to say?" I don't appreciate the tone that she has.

"No…..of course not."

"Good."

"I'm here for a little longer if you want to…." She gestures towards the hallway that leads to the private rooms that are available to certain members including myself.

"I'm just observing right now."

"If you change your mind, I'll be here."

As I watch Leila walk away, I can't help but shake my head at the thought of fucking her again. She's a sexy woman, don't get me wrong, but she just looks….as if she's trying too hard. The dress she is wearing leaves nothing to the imagination. The dress is completely see through and it only takes a quick glance to see that she isn't wearing anything underneath it. The outfit is pretty typical of Leila's attire when she has been here; I have no idea what she wears outside of the club as this is the only place I've ever seen her. In fact I don't even know what she does for a living or really anything about her other than her sexual preferences. That's all I've needed to know. She was a good fuck but as she walks away from me the thought of fucking her again does nothing for me.

I finish my scotch while looking around the room trying to find someone that I can take into one of the back rooms. I don't fuck women in the main room; some people prefer an audience but I don't. I'm not here for an audience; I'm here for privacy. I could easily replicate one of the backrooms at Escala; at one time I had one a scaled back version of one. Everything changed though and now I'm here.

I down another scotch before giving up; I don't know what it is but today no one here appeals to me. There are a few women here alone today, all very beautiful, but for some reason I don't approach any of them. Instead, I leave the bar and head back to the security area where I retrieve my wallet and cell phone. I text Taylor notifying him I'm ready to leave and then wait for security to let me know he is outside waiting. It only takes a few minutes before I'm back in the warmth of the SUV heading back to Escala. I scroll through the many text messages from Mia that I received, a few while I was in the club. The last picture of Ana grabbed my attention; she's wearing a simple pair of jeans that accentuate her legs and ass. Her hair is pulled back and she appears to be laughing at something when Mia snapped the picture.

 _Thanks for letting me steel Ana today! We had a great time shopping! –Mia_

I can't help but scroll through the pictures Mia sent me again on the way back to Escala; I chuckle at a few of the pictures, I can see the obvious distaste for the outfits in Ana's face as she poses for Mia. By the end though she looks like she is having a good time and there's even a picture of her and Mia posing together that I can only assume Sawyer or Rennolds took. As I glance at one of the final pictures of Ana the solution to my issues at GEH becomes obvious. The moment I get back to Escala I head into my office and start researching everything I need so I can be certain this is a viable option. I don't know why I didn't consider this before, but it's perfect! This will get the press off my back and more importantly should prove to my employees that they can have confidence in me and that my personal life will not affect my business decisions.

It takes a couple of hours but I finally manage to put everything together that I think I need. I've texted Ana, now that I have her cell phone number, and she has agreed to come to my apartment so we can talk. As the time gets closer to Ana arriving, I can't help but become more nervous at the thought of presenting everything to Ana. I don't know how she's going to feel about a new arrangement, especially one that is this different from what we currently have.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele has arrived," Taylor alerts me just before Ana steps into my office.

"Thank you, please come in Ana," I gesture for her to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of my desk. I can't help but take in Ana's outfit as she walks across my office; she's no longer wearing the jeans that she was wearing when she went shopping with Mia. Now she is wearing a pair of tight, black pants with a just as tight light blue shirt that highlights her eyes. It's obvious from her clothing that she was relaxing at home when I requested she meet with me, yet she still looks sexy as hell. The shirt hugs her breasts while the pants highlight her ass. I immediately think back to our kiss the other the night outside her apartment and how it felt to have that beautiful body pressed against mine. I quickly shake my head and walk around the desk taking the seat next to Ana.

"Ana…we need to talk."

"Okay…" I can tell by her voice that I've caught her off guard; I don't know why she thought I wanted to meet with her but I doubt she is expecting this.

"I….I…." FUCK this is so much harder than I thought it would be. I need Ana to agree to this; I need Ana period. Without Ana, this won't work and I could lose everything. "I…I think we need to end our contract with Elena."

"Oh," she immediately looks at the floor no longer making eye contact with me. I'm trying to figure out the perfect way to say what I want to next having completely forgotten everything I had thought of previous. "I'm….I'm sorry you feel that way Christian. I guess I'll see myself out."

"What? No wait Ana!" I quickly grasp her wrist in mine before she has a chance to move more than a couple of feet from me. "I didn't mean it like that; it came out wrong. Please sit back down."

"So you don't want to end our contract with Elena?" she asks cautiously sitting on the edge of the chair where she sat comfortably only a few minutes ago. I move my hand from her wrist that I realized I was still grasping, down to her hand while I try to figure out the right wording for what I need to say next. All afternoon I thought about this moment; I planned exactly what to say but now my mind is a complete clusterfuck.

"I do want to end our contract with Elena, but…." I can command an entire board room of strangers, yet as I sit in my office before Ana I'm a fucking nervous wreck. I don't recall ever being this nervous before; I've never had so much at stake as I do right now. "I'd like to propose a different arrangement; one that is just between us. Elena would no longer be involved."

"A different arrangement?"

"Yes….I'd like for us to get married-"

"Married!?"


	32. Chapter 31

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Wow Guys! So many reviews again on the last chapter – more than the previous one! A lot of you had mixed thoughts on what Ana's reaction will be and how you think she should react. I hope I don't disappoint too many of you with where I take this chapter._

 **Chpt. 31 APOV:**

"Married!?"

Please tell me I didn't just hear him correctly; that he did not just tell me he thinks we should get married! What the fuck is he thinking? Why does he think this is a good idea? Where is this coming from? I have so many questions yet I can't seem to voice any of them; I'm absolutely speechless. There are so many thoughts going through my head right now that they don't even make sense to me; I don't know how I could tell him what I'm thinking or how I feel right now. I've gone from expecting him to offer me payment for spending the day with his sister to thinking he wanted to end our contract with Elena because I had done something wrong to now thinking he is absolutely crazy.

"You think we should get married?" I repeat the only words that come to my mind clearly.

"Fuck, this came out completely wrong. I had this planned differently," he lets go of my hand which I hadn't even realized he was holding until now and runs his hands through his hair. "I know this sounds crazy Ana-"

"Um….yeah it does Christian."

"Ana, I told you before that I think of you beyond the contract we signed with Elena. In the few months we've been under contract with Elena, I've come to enjoy our time together. It's no longer a chore to attend the different events; I no longer mind it as much because you're there with me. I enjoy spending time with you and I've come to think of you as a friend-"

"As I have you Christian, but I don't think that means we should get married-"

"Ana, I'm in a bind and I need your help. I know this is an incredible thing to ask of you-"

"You're in bind?"

"All the negative publicity that I've been experiencing lately is beginning to affect my employees. GEH just conducted their routine employee satisfaction survey and it was determined that my employees' confidence level in me is at an all time low-"

"Oh Christian, I'm sorry. Do you really think it's because of the press? I mean, isn't it possible-"

"The survey asked employees to cite the reason for their low confidence and the negative press was the only reason cited. Until now my employees confidence level in me, in the decisions I make and in GEH as a whole has always been excellent. There has never been a question about my ability. Now, because of the press though, their image of me has changed. They no longer have confidence in me."

"Surely there's something else that can be done?"

"The press won't leave me alone Ana. You've seen it. I'm desperately trying to find out who is feeding the press all of this negative information about me but until we figure that out I can't sit back and watch my company fall apart. If my employees don't have confidence in me, they will leave GEH. Up until now we have had incredibly low turnover; turnover that is so low that we use it as a marketing technique when we present acquisition plans to perspective companies. If GEH suddenly experiences high turnover combined with the negative press….I….I'm afraid I could lose everything."

"And you think getting married is the solution?"

"Yes," he sighs and shakes his head almost as if he is in disbelief himself. "The press would have to leave me alone as there would no longer be anything to write about. They wouldn't be able to question my ability to stay faithful or suggest reasons why women seem to run from me."

"But why me?" I need to know the reason he is suggesting this with me isn't just because we have this established history with Elena. I don't know why, but I need to know that he isn't suggesting this with _me_ because the press has already linked us together. What surprises me is that I haven't walked out yet; I haven't told him he is out of his mind and left his apartment.

"I've never even considered letting another woman into my space, into apartment, yet with you I no longer feel threatened. You are different than any other woman I've ever met Ana; you're the only one who looks at me and doesn't see my bank account balance."

"Christian-"

"This isn't just because of our arrangement with Elena; I knew you were different from that day on the sidewalk," he interrupts me before I can say anything. "When you tried to refuse my offer to replace your outfit after we ruined it, I knew you were different Ana. Obviously I've gotten to know you a lot better since then….and I….I care for you Ana. There is no one else I would even consider proposing this arrangement with."

"I don't know what to think Christian."

"I know you probably imagined getting married for love-"

"Actually, I never thought I would get married Christian for love or otherwise not after…."

"I would never hurt you Ana and I will never try to control you the way he did," Christian obviously understands why I thought I would never consider marriage again. "This wouldn't be like, I swear."

"What _would_ it be like Christian?" I can't believe I'm sitting here actually considering this crazy scheme that he is proposing.

"Honestly, I don't think it would be very different than our current arrangement," did he really just say that? "Well….I mean there would be some obvious differences. You would need to move in here of course since it would look odd that we were married and living in separate apartments. You would have your own bedroom and any other space you needed. I would continue to cover all of your clothing expenses of course…."

"I don't know what to say Christian."

"I know this is a lot to take in Ana," well that's an understatement. "If there were any other way…."

"You can't go after the press? Sue them or something?"

"According to my legal team no one has breached the definition of slander yet. We have had stories retracted but unfortunately once the story is out there people already know about it so retraction does very little. If it was just one reporter I could go after them; I could make it so they never work in the industry again. Unfortunately it's more than one….it's actually quite a few different reporters publishing the stories or raising the questions about personal life. My lawyers say because they aren't publishing facts but simply raising questions that we can't do anything yet. I have a feeling someone is pushing things to be published about me but I can't prove it."

"Do you think it's-"

"I don't know. We are exploring that option, but _she_ currently isn't even in the state however that doesn't mean we aren't watching her."

"I….I think I need some time to think about this Christian. This is a lot to take in."

"Of course Ana. I have prepared some documents for you to review-"

"Documents?"

"If you were to agree to this arrangement, we would both need to sign a prenup which I've printed for you. You can have a lawyer review it of course, but it basically says that you are not entitled to the normal 50% split of assets and property-"

"No, of course I wouldn't-"

"However, unlike most prenups this one further outlines what you will receive upon the dissolve of our marriage."

"What I would receive?"

"If you were to agree to this arrangement and we remained married until the time it was mutually agreed upon that we dissolve our marriage, you will receive the deed to the condo you are currently staying in-"

"Wait," I need to process what he just said. "If I agree to this arrangement, you're going to give me an apartment?"

"Yes. The deed will be put in your name the day we are married and held until our divorce at which time it will be provided to you. The condo would be yours with no strings attached. Whether you choose to live there or to sell it and move somewhere else that would be up to you."

"Why would you give it to me?"

"Ana, I know what I'm asking is a lot; it's only fair that you receive something in return for helping me. I don't want you to have to worry about finding a place to live or being able to afford a place that you want when this is all over-"

"I don't know-"

"Ana, it's the least I could do. I'm asking you to give up so much for me if you agree to this. You would be helping me save my company; I can't not give you something in return, it wouldn't be right. If you were to agree to this arrangement, I would also cover your education expenses if you chose to return to school-"

"You would pay my tuition?"

"If you agree to this arrangement, yes I would cover the tuition, books and any other expenses for you to return to school to pursue anything you want."

"Christian, I don't know how I feel about this."

"Ana, you would be doing so much for me by agreeing to this arrangement….I wouldn't want you to do this and expect nothing in return. This isn't like when you stayed with me for the weekend because I was sick Ana, this is so much more than that-"

"I know that-"

" _I_ need to give you something in return Ana; I can't ask you to do this for me and not give you something in return. I can't…I won't take advantage of you like that."

"I…I think I need some time to process all of this."

"I understand. Please take as much time as you need."

I can almost see the mask that Christian puts on as he takes on his CEO persona; he really is a different person when it comes to business. He was like that when we first met to discuss the arrangement through Elena and of course I've seen it at several of the business events we have attended together. But there's also the other side of Christian that I've realized not too many people get to see. Tonight, as he was discussing how this is affecting his business, I got to see that person again. However, the mask went right back on when I wasn't able to give him an answer right away. I don't know if he expected an answer tonight; I would think he would have expected me to need time to process what he just proposed.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"No, thank you for the offer. I think I'm going to go back to the apartment and try to process all of this."

"Ana….I really want this to work. If there's something in the paperwork you don't like, I'll change it. If you want something more, I'll give it to you. I know what I'm asking is…..life changing, but I'll do whatever….."

"Just give me some time Christian, please."

"Of course; I'll walk you out," and with that the mask it back on.

"Good night Christian."

"Night Ana."

For the first time I think we started the arrangement with Elena, Christian doesn't kiss me good night when I leave this apartment. I don't think it's because he doesn't want to; the look in his eyes told me he did. I think maybe he was worried it would change how I thought about what Christian is proposing. As soon as I enter my apartment, I sit down and try to process everything that just happened. I try to make sense of what Christian is proposing and how I even feel about what he is suggesting.

I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but really I have no one. I haven't allowed myself to make any friends other than Christian in Seattle, despite being here for two years now. I'm sort of close with Ginny, but we don't talk outside of work and she doesn't know what I've been through. As I realize how truly alone I am, I also realize that I will need to make this entire decision on my own. How do you decide something like this? With Elena's proposal there was a safety net if I made the wrong decision; what Christian is proposing has no safety net. If I agree to marry him I can't decide in a couple of months that it isn't working.

I sigh and pull out the prenup agreement he gave me; as he indicated the agreement outlines what I will receive when the marriage is dissolved, namely the condo I am currently staying in. I'm surprised to learn that Christian is not only proposing to cover my school expenses while we are married, but that he will continue to cover them for up to four years following our divorce. While I'm still not sure how I feel about the idea of him paying my bills, I'm kind of touched that he included the clause that he would continuing covering the fees after our divorce as it would ensure I was able to finish any degree I decided to pursue. Its little things like that which make me realize that Christian does care for me more than a contract or business arrangement.

I think about how much my life has changed since I stepped off plane in Seattle a couple of years ago. I had nothing but a small duffel bag and a few dollars in my pocket when I arrived here. I had no idea what to expect; all I knew was that I needed to start over. The east coast held too many memories for me and none of them were positive. When I met with the case worker at the shelter in New York, she asked me if I could go anywhere where would I go. I looked at the map on her wall and my eyes just sort of fell on Washington. It was the furthest away I thought I could get from New York. It took a couple of weeks for everything to come together, but before I knew it I was stepping off a plane in Seattle. At that time my priority was finding a job and a safe place to live. My goal at that time was simple: survive.

I knew I had serious trust issues after what _he_ did to me and because of that marriage was never a consideration for me. Unlike most women my age, I had no desire to date, fall in love, get married and start popping out kids. I could never see myself living with a man again; I vowed never to trust someone like that ever again. I vowed never to put myself in a position to be hurt like _he_ hurt me again.

Yet, here I sit actually contemplating agreeing to marry a man; a man that I've only known for three months. I can't help but think about how things changed with _him_ ; we moved in together very quickly, really without even knowing each other. I was blinded by the idea that someone was showing me affection and I was desperate to get out of the house I lived in. Looking back, the signs were there but I ignored them. When he took me out on a date, he always insisted on ordering for me and planning every detail of the date. There was no point in suggesting a different place to eat or a movie to see; it was his way or no way. When I moved in with him, everything had to be absolutely perfect in the house. The cup handles all had to face a certain way in the cabinets, cans in the pantry had to face with labels facing forward; even the bottles of liquor had to be organized in a specific way. At first I just chalked it up to a quirk of his; one that I was willing to deal with because I was finally out of that house. Looking back now, I should have realized those were signs of his need to control everything.

If I didn't think I knew Christian as well as I do, I wouldn't even be considering this arrangement. I don't think for a second that Christian would ever hurt me the way _he_ did, but I can't help but question my own ability to read people after the decisions I've made in the past. I quickly decide that _if_ I'm going to agree to this new arrangement, I'm going to need to have an _out_ in the off chance that I can't trust my instincts with Christian. I'm fairly confident in my ability to read him, but seeing as though I've been drastically wrong in the past I don't want to be trapped again. I won't put myself in another situation that I can't leave because I don't have the resources to. I won't be forced to make a decision between having a roof over my head and being safe.

I decide to start making a list of things I need to address with Christian before I can make a decision on this proposal. I go into the office that I haven't used to grab a pen and paper before returning to the living room. Although it's probably not a wise decision, I decide I want a glass of wine while I try to decide what I'm going to do. It's late, but I think a liquor store would still be open; the only problem is that Sawyer isn't here and there's no way I'm going to leave the apartment without some type of security. I decide to call Taylor to see if he is available to go with me or perhaps he has someone who can go.

"Ms. Steele, is everything okay?" he answers on the first ring.

"Oh, yes everything is fine. I'm sorry to bother you-"

"It's no bother at all Ms. Steele. What can I do for you?"

"I need to run an errand; I'm sure Sawyer has already left for the day…."

"It's not a problem. Where would you like to go?"

"I just wanted to run to a liquor store; I don't know if there's one nearby-"

"Just a few blocks from here. If you don't mind, what are you looking to get?"

"Just a bottle of wine."

"What kind do you like?"

"Something sweet-"

"I'll have something to you in a few minutes."

"Oh, I don't mind going-"

"I'll see you in a few Ms. Steele."

Well, that didn't go as I thought it would. I didn't expect Taylor to drop what he was doing to run to the store _for_ me. I'm still trying to get used to the whole idea of needing security; I don't know how I feel about having someone go shopping for me. Although, I suppose this isn't too different than what I would have to deal with if I agreed to marry Christian. I have no doubt that Christian doesn't go food shopping for himself and doesn't run to Walmart to pick up something he needs. I can't help but laugh at the idea of Christian in Walmart; yeah, that would never happen.

 _Knock knock_

I'm surprised to find Taylor at my door only a few minutes after I hung up the phone with him. It's not possible that he went to the liquor store that fast; perhaps he changed his mind and decided it would be best if I went with him to pick out the type of wine.

"Good evening Ms. Steele," Taylor greets me when I open the door. "Mr. Grey has sent several different types of wines from his collection that he thought you might like."

"Christian sent these?"

"Yes ma'am. Mr. Grey has an extensive wine collection, one that is far better than what you would find at the local liquor store."

"Please, send him my thanks. I….wasn't expecting this."

"You should have wine glasses in the kitchen, but if you need anything else this evening please contact me. "

"Thank you Taylor.

"And Ms. Steele….can be I honest with you?"

"Of course Taylor."

"Mr. Grey is a good man; I've worked for him for several years now as has Gail. Neither of us would stay if Mr. Grey wasn't a good person. Don't believe everything the media says about him; trust what you know. He's let you in and that's something he's never done before."

"I….thank you Taylor."

"Good night Ms. Steele."

"Night Taylor."

FUCK

Taylor has just completely thrown me by what he said. I don't know if he knows about the new arrangement Christian has proposed but I have no doubt that Taylor was being in honest in what he said. I don't think Christian told him to come down and say something like that to me or to try to influence my decision. I'm sure that Christian wants this decision to be mine and mine alone.

I think back to what Taylor said about Christian letting me in; I was surprised when he said that Christian hasn't done that before. I wanted so badly to ask him what he meant by that but I didn't think he would tell me even if I did ask. He dated that _woman_ before for quite some time by the sound of it; surely he would have opened up to her? I'm not sure what Taylor meant by him saying that Christian let me in; the only thing I can think of was telling me about _her._ Could that have been what Taylor meant? If so, why would he say he's never done that before? Surely his family knew what _she_ did to him?

I shake my head, needing to stop trying to figure out what Taylor meant and go into the kitchen to pour a glass of wine. In the bag that Taylor gave me were four bottles of wine, all from different vineyards from what I can tell. I choose one that has a rose on the label since I really don't know much about wine. I pour a glass before returning to the living room where my pen and paper await.

 _Thank you for the wine. It wasn't necessary but I appreciate it. –Ana_

The response from Christian is almost instantaneous.

 _I hope you find one you like, but if not I can send more. –Christian._

 _The first one I opened is just perfect; thank you –Ana_

 _Do you have any questions about the paperwork? I'd be happy to discuss anything with you –Christian_

 _I've just started reading through it all, but I'm starting a list –Ana_

 _I'll answer any questions Ana or change anything you want –Christian_

 _I know….I just need to think this all through. It's a lot to consider. –Ana_

He doesn't respond but I don't know that he really needs to either. He knows I need time to consider everything in this new arrangement that he is proposing. I pull the coffee table closer to the couch and start making notes on parts of the prenup that I have questions about or just things about this arrangement I have questions about in general. I'm still kind of surprised that I'm considering this, but knowing what Christian could lose if I don't how can I not consider his proposal? How could I say no if it means he would lose everything he has worked this hard to achieve? Especially when he is offering to help me make my dreams come true? The one thing I dreamed up but did not think was going to be possible was to return to school and earn some type of degree. And now Christian is offering that to me.

By the end of the night I'm surprised that I only have a few questions written in my notebook. I expected to have a lot more, but in reality the prenup is pretty straight forward and explains things clearly. There is one section of contract that I need to address with Christian that is not sitting well with me. I know he said that he was willing to change anything in the contract, but I honestly don't know if he's going to be willing to change this. Unfortunately though, as the night wears on I realize this one clause is a deal breaker for me. If Christian isn't willing to remove it, I don't know that I can agree to his new arrangement. It's probably not fair of me to ask this of him, but I have to.


	33. Chapter 32

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 32 CPOV:**

"I'm sorry….you did what Christian?" John asks.

"I suggested that Ana and I terminate our contract with Elena and enter into a new arrangement privately."

"One in which she agrees to marry you?"

"Yes."

"What did she say?"

"She hasn't given me a decision yet; she asked for some time to think about it."

"Why did you feel the need to change your contract? Why not continue things as they have been?"

"The press John, plain and simple. They won't fucking leave me alone and now it's affecting my business. My employees don't have confidence in me; if I don't change things fast I'm afraid they are going to start looking for jobs elsewhere. I can't afford to have everyone suddenly quit on me. It's taken me too long to build GEH up to where it is today. A mass exit of employees will bring me back to square one. I will lose all the ground I've gained; I will lose everything-"

"I'm sure not _everything_ -"

"Everything John. I will become the little man that the larger companies eat and spit out. I won't have anything to offer that's different from other companies when we present for an acquisition. I will slowly lose the companies I do have when productivity begins to decline. I won't be able to continue the charitable donations that I have promised to various places. Last week alone, I just donated two hundred thousand dollars to the pediatric unit of the hospital. What do I say the next time they call when GEH begins to go belly up? I'm sorry, I can't help the sick children get the medications need because I can't keep a woman happy?"

"Christian…." For once I believe John is speechless.

"This isn't just about me John. If it was, I would stop taking a paycheck if it meant I could continue with the promises I have made. But this isn't about me. This is about hundreds of people losing their jobs and charities having to go without because I can't afford to make a donation. You see John, I had no choice. I needed to do something to get the press of my back and to leave GEH the fuck alone."

"And you think marrying Ana will accomplish this?"

"For a time yes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fucking stupid. I know this isn't going to solve my problems forever. I need a temporary fix; just long enough for them to back off so I come up with another plan. I think someone is feeding the press lies about me or maybe they're pushing the press to focus on me. I can't be sure, but it takes time to dig into something like that. I need the press to leave me alone so GEH can be successful while I try to figure everything else out. I think marrying Ana will get me that time."

"You trust Ana enough to let her move in with you?"

"I do."

"You're not worried?"

"No, I told you I trust Ana."

"What about your nightmares?"

"I'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. I can't hide them, we both know that. I'll tell her I have nightmares and leave it at that."

"Are you going to tell her what they're about?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"She doesn't need to know. It won't impact our arrangement."

"How do you feel about Ana Christian?"

"What do you mean how do I feel about her?"

"Exactly that, how do you feel about her?"

"I….I care about her. I feel protective of her; she was hurt, bad, John by an ex and I swore I would never let him near her again. Even after our arrangement ends or if she declined my new proposal I would ensure she was safe that the fucker who hurt her before could never hurt her again."

"It sounds like you care a great deal about her."

"We've…..we've become sort of friends since this whole thing with Elena began."

"Do you think it could turn into something more?"

"More? Like love more?" he nods. "No."

"Why not?"

"Neither of us are looking for love John. We both have too many trust issues with the opposite sex-"

"That doesn't mean it couldn't happen Christian."

"It won't John. I'm not good enough for her."

"Why?"

"John, she's the type of girl that deserves only the best. She's the type of girl who deserves someone who will worship the ground she walks on; who will wine and dine her every night. She deserves someone who can make a long term commitment to her. Someone who wants the white picket fence and 2.3 children running around the yard. That's not me, John. I can't be that person."

"Why can't you be that person?"

"Fuck, I can't open myself up like that again and you know it!"

"But isn't that what you're doing by asking her to marry you?"

"No, this is just a fucking arrangement. It's no different than what we have with Elena now. I'm just cutting out the middle man."

"You've asked the girl to move in with you and marry you Christian. I would say that's quite different that you paying her for accompanying you to a few events."

"There's no emotions involved John. I mean, sure we care about each other as friends but that's it."

"Are you sure Christian?"

"Yes I'm sure."

"Does she feel the same way?"

"I….I think so. I mean, she agreed that she saw as friends and not just as a business arrangement. The weekend she spent with me when I was sick brought us closer."

"What if she starts feeling more towards you? Living with someone day in and day out can change things. How will you handle that when that happens?"

"It won't John; you don't know Ana. You don't know what she's been through. She's sworn off men just as much as I've sworn off women."

"You're right Christian, I don't know Ana. I just want you to consider the chance that one of you could develop feelings towards the other beyond friendship."

"Won't happen John."

"We'll see Christian. So when do you expect a decision from Ana on your new arrangement?"

"I don't know. She asked me for some time. I don't want to bug her about it but I'm hoping she decides soon. We're attending a charity event tomorrow evening so I know I'll at least see her then."

"I hope you know what you're doing Christian. I'd hate to see either of you get hurt."

"We won't."

I barely get anything done during the day; I can't focus on anything. My thoughts are consumed by Ana; I try to guess at what her decision will be but of course it's no use. I keep wondering if I should have added more to the prenup agreement; maybe she's expecting more in it. I purposely did not include a lump sum payment at the dissolve of the marriage as I thought Ana would find that insulting. Instead, I stuck with material items that I could give her that would help her reach her dreams. She had two goals she told me as the reasons she entered into the contract with Elena: finding a safer place to live and going back to school. Those were the two things I've included in the prenup agreement; but now I'm second guessing myself. Maybe I should have included a lump sum payment in addition to those things? Should I have offered a weekly "paycheck" for her to spend on whatever she wants? I didn't include that because my thought was she would use my account for any purchases she wanted to make but maybe she would want to keep her independence and maintain her own bank account? I've offered to change anything in the prenup she wants; hopefully she will feel comfortable enough to ask for those things if that's what she wants.

After my meeting with Flynn, I head back to Escala deciding to work the remainder of the day from there since I'm not getting anything done at GEH. Working at Escala today is no different though; I can't seem to concentrate worth shit on anything in front of me.

 _Are you free to meet tonight? –Ana_

 _Anytime –Christian_

 _What time do you get home? -Ana_

 _I'm home now; I had a meeting and came home afterwards. –Christian_

 _Are you free now? –Ana_

 _Yes –Christian_

 _I'll come up now in a few minutes. –Ana_

"Taylor!" I call out, my voice mixed with excitement and nervousness.

"Yes sir?"

"Ana will be coming up soon. Can you meet her on her floor and escort her up?"

"Yes sir."

"Gail!"

"Mr. Grey?" Gail responds just as quickly as Taylor did.

"Ana is on her way up; I don't know if she will be staying for dinner but I'd like you to prepare two dishes if she does."

"Of course sir."

"Also, can you bring in some wine and crackers or fruit or something to go with it?"

"Yes sir, I'll be back momentarily."

Just before I hear the elevator ding, Gail finishes setting up a small tray of snacks with a bottle of wine in my office. I'm not suggesting that we're going to be celebrating anything, as I don't want to presume to know what Ana's decision will be, but I want to be able to offer her something if she's hungry. I was surprised last night when Taylor told me she contacted him wanting to pick up a bottle of wine. Ana isn't a drinker; in fact she has never requested a drink when we've been out, she only accepts one if offered. I don't know if she wanted a glass of wine to relax and help her make a decision or if she was trying to let a little of her past go. Whatever the reason, I thought it might be helpful to have some here to offer her. I probably should have done this yesterday when I first proposed this new arrangement; I was too fucking nervous to even think about that. Christian Grey….nervous. If someone told any of my employees that I was nervous they would think you were crazy. Christian Grey doesn't do nervous; I'm in control of too much to be nervous.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele has arrived," Taylor informs me just as Gail slips out of my office.

"Ana, please come in," I gesture to the chair where she sat just yesterday afternoon, which for some reason seems like a lifetime ago. "Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Please," she says sitting down.

I had her the glass of wine with a shaking hand; I can't remember the last time I was ever this nervous. If she says no to this new arrangement, I don't know what I will do to save GEH. I can only hope that she isn't saying no; maybe she just has questions or wants something else besides the condo and her schooling paid for. At this point she could ask me for anything and I would give it to her if it meant she would agree to the arrangement.

"So…." I have no idea how to begin this conversation.

"I had a couple of questions…" she rings her hands in her lap letting me know that she is just as nervous as I am although I'm not sure why she would be nervous seeing that I'm the one with everything riding on this proposal.

"I thought you might," I can't help but smile as I try to break the tension between us. "Let's start at the beginning. Are you in agreement to the length of the proposed marriage?"

"Yes…I mean it seems to make sense. We need to stay married for a minimum of 18 months unless it is mutually agreed upon that we divorce prior to that time."

"Correct, essentially it leaves an opening if my team is able to resolve the issue with the press but if we can't the marriage still appears long enough to not raise suspicion. I want to point out though that it's a minimum of 18 months; it's very possible we could need to maintain this arrangement longer."

"I understand….but I would like to add a clause that enables the arrangement to be ended prior to the 18 month time frame."

"What sort of a clause?"

"I….I want an out clause," she says so quickly that I barely understand what she said.

"An out clause."

"Please….don't take offense to what I'm asking. This…..this is just something I need."

"Okay…..what would this clause entail?" I'm nervous but at the same time I moving into business mode. Negotiating contracts is what I do on a daily basis; if Ana wants to negotiate the prenup I'm all for it because that means she is more likely to agree to the arrangement.

"I want it noted that I can walk away from the marriage but still retain the condo under certain conditions."

"What would those conditions be?" My interest is peeked as to what conditions she would see the need to end our arrangement prior to the agreed upon time frame. One thing I won't agree to us is ending this arrangement if she fell in love with someone else. It's selfish, I know, but how would it look if my marriage suddenly ends and she is seen with another man? I can't have that-

"If…..if you intentionally cause me physical injury or if you are arrested for a violent crime," her voice is barely above a whisper and her eyes are glued to the floor. My initial reaction is anger; I'm angry that she could even think that I would hurt her or anyone else. I take several deep breaths trying to process what she just said when it finally hits me why she's adding this clause. It's not because of me; this is because of that fucker who hurt her before. My anger doesn't diminish but it is no longer focused on Ana; instead it is focused on the piece of shit who beat her. I make a mental note to follow up with Taylor to determine where the fuck we are in finding out who this shithead is.

"I will agree to that."

"Really?" her eyes find mine and I see the surprise in them. I guess she expected a different response; she likely expected me to be angry at her suggesting there was even a need for that clause.

"Ana….I hope you know that I would never, ever intentionally hurt you. I am on him; I am nothing like that asshole, I swear to you-"

"I know you're not Christian. You need to understand; when I met _him_ I thought he was the nicest guy I had ever met. He charmed me completely; looking back there were tons of red flags that I should have seen but I didn't. By the time I finally realized what was going on, it was too late; he had already taken complete control over my life. He made me quit my job which meant I had no money of my own; I couldn't leave him even if I had wanted to. I was stuck; when I was finally able to leave I swore I would never allow myself to be put in situation like that again. I never want to have to choose between my safety and having a roof over my head. I need….I need this in there for me. I need to know that I'm not trapped if things suddenly turn."

"I understand Ana. I'll have your out clause added to the prenup. I don't want you to ever feel trapped with me, especially if we move forward with this new arrangement."

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

"What other questions do you have?"

"How would this look? I mean…..who would know that this wasn't a real marriage?"

"No one. Just you and me. Well, I suppose Taylor would piece it together but it is not something that should be disclosed to anyone. Just like our current arrangement with Elena, the less people who know the better."

"Speaking of Elena, how exactly would that work? I mean, surely she would be upset with this? We're essentially taking her money away right?"

"I've spent a lot of time reviewing the contract we have with Elena and there are several termination clauses in there. One such clause allows for us to engage in a romantic relationship outside of the contract with her. I would meet with her, explain that you and I have fallen in love while spending time together under her contract and will be moving forward with our relationship."

"That's it? She would just let us break the contract?"

"Not exactly….as with most business contracts, there's a penalty that would be paid to break the contract with this clause."

"A penalty?"

"More of a fine I guess you could say. I would make a final payment to her in exchange for the termination of both of our contracts."

"Oh…."

"I don't expect any problems to come from terminating the contract; the clause is in there for a reason so I'm sure this is not the first time that clients are requesting to terminate the contract to engage in a personal relationship."

"That makes sense. I remember Elena saying that some of her clients have fallen in love even if that wasn't the intention of the arrangement."

"Don't worry about Elena, if you agree to this new arrangement I will take care of her."

"Your family….they wouldn't know about ….this?"

"No, they would believe, like everyone else, that we are getting married for love. Does that bother you?"

"I…I kind of feel like we're deceiving them."

"We are…but they won't get hurt from it."

"I like your family; I've enjoyed spending time with them. I don't want them to hate me when this ends."

"They won't Ana, I promise. We will present the dissolve of our marriage as an amical one; we'll come up with something so neither of us are at fault for the ending. I won't let your name get dragged through the mud by anyone including my family."

"I just don't want to hurt them."

"You won't. My family would be thrilled if we were to get married; they adore you as it is. You won my mother over when you stayed the weekend with me. Even my mother said, what you did that weekend was something my ex never would have done."

"She wouldn't have taken care of you if you were sick?"

"She wouldn't have cancelled her plans and given up her entire weekend to take care of me. That just wasn't the type of person she was. If there wasn't something in it for her she didn't want to be involved. My family knows you're not like _she_ was which is one of the reasons why they like you so much. When the time comes, we will find a way to explain the end of our marriage to everyone so that neither of us is to blame."

"When we do end this arrangement, what happens to us? I mean…."

"I would hope we could remain friends Ana. I've enjoyed spending time with you and I don't expect that to change just because we are no longer in an arrangement together. I'd like to remain friends with you after this is over; maybe go to dinner or something to catch up."

"I'd like that too."

Noting her glass is empty, I refill it without asking. I'm determined to slowly undo all of the things that the asshole did to her especially the rules he put in place which she still subconsciously follows. I have no intention of getting her drunk, especially when we need to have a serious discussion, but I want her to eventually become comfortable enough to have more than one drink with me. Although, part of me can't help but wonder what she's like when she has a little too much to drink. Does she get silly? Flirty? Does she speak her mind?

"So there's one other thing….."

"What is it Ana?" she suddenly looks nervous again; I thought she had finally relaxed but her voice is shaky again which makes me a little concerned about what she's going to say next. I don't think she realizes that she has all the power in this negotiation; that whatever she asks for I will give her if it means she will agree to this new arrangement with me.

"Ana?" I encourage her by squeezing her hand.

"The extramarital affair clause…I want it removed."

Okay….not at all what I was expecting. I was prepared for her to ask for a monetary settlement, some type of an weekly paycheck or something. I was not prepared for her to ask me to remove the clause I specifically put in the prenup.

"I'm not sure you understand the clause-"

"I do. The clause states that either of us can have an affair as long as it is done discretely and that the we have agreed that there is no chance of the press learning about the affair."

"Yes…" Okay, she understands the clause and still wants it removed? I don't understand. I thought she would be grateful that the clause would be in there; it wouldn't mean she had to put her love life on hold because of this arrangement.

"I'd like the clause removed," her voice has become more confident and unlike earlier she is now looking at me. I think now that she has gotten the words out there she is no longer nervous. I on the other hand have no idea what to think. If I remove this clause, I am essentially committing myself to at least 18 months of celibacy, possibly even longer. I may have just gone the last six months without fucking someone but the thought of going 18 months is fucking ridiculous.

"Ana….I put the clause in there specifically to benefit both of us. I'm asking you to give up a lot; I can't ask you to give up your love life-"

"My what?" she nearly chokes on her wine.

"Your love life. I don't want you to give that up for this arrangement."

"I….I don't have a love life Christian. I told you before I never thought I would get married, so you're not taking some dream from me."

"If not your love life then, you shouldn't have to sacrifice your sex life for this arrangement," perhaps if I say it bluntly she will understand the purpose of this clause.

"Christian, before the weekend you were sick, I hadn't been alone with a man since the night I left _him._ And sex….that stopped a long time before that night. You're not asking me to give up anything in that sense. However, I understand what I'm asking you to give up by removing this clause."

"I….."

I'm speechless. I have no idea what else she said; but if I heard her correctly she hasn't had sex in a long time. How could that fucker now want to sleep with her? I haven't been able to not picture fucking her since the day we first met; the only thing stopping me is knowing that she could never want what I have to offer. Well….and that it would complicate things too much between us.

"I know what I'm asking of you is a lot. Unfortunately though, I cannot sign the prenup and agree to this arrangement if you are going to have an affair. This may not be a real marriage by any definition, but I still want and expect you to be faithful to me. I understand to some guys sex is just sex, that there's no emotional connection to the woman they are with at the time. But, that doesn't mean I'm okay with sitting here in an apartment that we will be sharing while you're out with another woman."

"Ana, if you're worried about the press, I can assure you-"

"It's not that Christian," she takes a deep breath and her eyes once again find the floor; a habit I've noticed she does when she is nervous, scared or embarrassed about something. "My mother….she was never faithful to men and in turn men were never faithful to her. I can remember some guy's girlfriend showing up on our doorstep cursing out my mother because he was with her last night. Or my mother bringing home men and then having their wives call our house the next day looking for them. My childhood was a fucking mess Christian; there are things I just can't go back to. I know things wouldn't be like that, but I….I just don't think I can ever be okay with sitting here while you're out sleeping with someone."

"Ana…I…."

Fuck I don't know what to say. Ana has never spoken about her childhood to me; I know nothing about what it was like for her to grow up other than someone made her feel like she didn't deserve to be loved. Now, she's sitting in front of me asking me for one thing while giving me the smallest glimpse into what her childhood was like.

"I know it's a lot to ask Christian, and its okay if you can't agree to it. I know 18 months or longer is a long time to ask you to go without….a woman. If you would rather just continue with our current arrangement-"

"No," I quickly interrupt before she can finish her suggestion. Our current arrangement won't work; that's why I need her to agree to this new one. While I don't like the idea of going that long without fucking a woman, I realize if this is the one contingency that Ana is giving me I need to concede. Contract negotiations are about giving and taking….I usually come out taking far more than I'm giving; perhaps this is one time I need to give more. "If I agree to remove the extramarital affair clause, you…you would agree to this marriage?"

"I will, yes."

I take a deep breath, mentally making a note to contact the club first thing in the morning to cancel my membership, and cross out the section of the prenup that allows for both of us to have affairs.

"I will make these changes and then send you the prenup to sign. You and I will be the only ones with copies of this document; normally I would file the contract with my legal department but given the sensitive nature of this contract I have decided against it. I will keep my copy in the safe here in my office; I would prefer you to keep your contract in here or in a safety deposit box in a bank so that no one can gain access to it."

"Of course….Christian I appreciate you removing the clause. I know-"

"Ana, it's nothing. What I'm asking of you is so much more than what you are asking me to give up."


	34. Chapter 33

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: LOVED, LOVED all the comments about Christian giving up sex for so long! Thank you for your ongoing support of this story; your reviews motivate me to continue writing this story and give me ideas for upcoming chapters!_

 **Chpt. 33 CPOV:**

As we walk to the dining room, I'm still in complete disbelief. Disbelief that she agreed to this new arrangement; disbelief that I'm about to give up fucking for the foreseeable future. I see many long nights and cold showers in my future, but it will all be worth it when this saves GEH. I'll sacrifice anything to not lose everything that I have worked this hard to gain.

"So….how exactly is this going to work?" Ana pulls me from my thoughts after Gail sets are plates in front of us.

"Before we can do anything I need to speak with Elena to inform her that we are terminating our contract with her. I don't know if she will want to verify this with you first-"

"That's fine if she does."

"Once our contract is terminated with her, we can move forward with our marriage. I would like to move quickly with the wedding itself; I don't want to prolong the engagement and give the press more time to print non sense about us."

"Sure, that makes sense."

"We'll tell my family of the engagement of course, but I think otherwise I would rather just have GEH's public relations department announce our marriage. If we announce an engagement, the press will hound us more than they do already to find out where the wedding will be and I'm afraid it will be a security nightmare."

"Where will the wedding be?"

"I don't know…" I admit I haven't thought that far yet. "What type of wedding do you want?"

"Something small if possible. I obviously don't know very many people in Seattle so the wedding will mostly be your friends and family."

"I know you said you never thought you would get married, after….what happened. But when you were little, I'm sure you dreamed of a wedding. I know Mia has since was little and played barbies."

"I think every girl had their dream wedding planned out when they were little."

"What was yours?"

"I wanted to get married on a beach somewhere, barefoot with my feet in the sand. Just a few guests with us and the ocean waves crashing in the background."

"Sounds very nice."

"What about you? What type of a wedding did you see yourself having?"

"I never thought I would get married so I never considered what my wedding would be like."

"Your…ex, she didn't want to get married?"

"Oh, I'm sure that was her ultimate goal but we never discussed it."

"Oh."

"Assuming I can speak with Elena tomorrow morning, are you able to come to my parents' on Sunday for dinner? I thought perhaps we could announce our engagement then?"

"Sure, I'm free all day."

"I know we have the charity dinner tomorrow night, but we should find a time to move your belongings in here as well. I will have Gail prepare the bedroom you stayed in when you were here for the weekend unless you have any objections to that room?"

"No, that room was perfect."

"Great, I'll arrange for movers to pack-"

"Ummm, no I would rather pack my own things."

"Are you sure? It's not an issue; we use movers at GEH all the time."

"Christian…I would rather pack my own stuff. I don't feel comfortable having someone else pack my things."

"If you're sure?" she nods. "Do you need much time to pack your things? I'm thinking maybe we should have everything moved in this weekend?"

"No, I don't have very much as you saw."

"How's Sunday then? Rennolds and Sawyer should be everything to move everything when we're at dinner?"

"That will be fine. I can pack up everything tomorrow before dinner."

"Ana…I really can't thank you enough for agreeing to this. I know this wasn't an easy decision for you…"

"Christian, if this is what it will take to help you save GEH then it will be worth it. I'm happy I can help you do that."

"You amaze me sometimes Ana. You could have asked me for anything, any amount of money, and I would have given it to you but you didn't."

"Money isn't everything Christian."

"It certainly isn't."

We fall into a comfortable silence as we eat dinner; I can't help but watch Ana in amazement that she agreed to this whole arrangement. I had hoped she would agree to it, but I kept thinking the worst…that she would say what I was knew all along, that what I was asking of her was too much. I wish I knew what was going through her head when she was reading the prenup last night; I was so tempted to bring her down the bottles of wine personally and offer to sit with her while she read the contract. Ultimately though I knew that she wouldn't want that; I knew that I had to respect her request for some time alone to process everything and to read through the contract.

"Did you hear me Christian?" Ana pulls me from my thoughts that I seem to have been lost in.

"Oh sorry…what did you say?"

"Don't you think people will find it odd that we are sleeping in separate bedrooms? I'm not trying to suggest….I just want to make sure we have our bases covered."

"Anyone who will come in here will know me Ana. I….I have nightmares most nights and therefore I won't share a bed with anyone. My family is aware of this so they won't suspect anything if they notice we are sleeping separately. Gail and Taylor are used to it as well, that was the arrangement with…. _her."_

"You slept with me…."

"I did."

Neither of us says anything next; the fact that I slept comfortably with Ana the night she woke up screaming still baffles me. I still don't know if I had a nightmare when she was in my room the first night I was sick; she hasn't mentioned it but then again neither have I. I'm dreading the first nightmare I have when she is living here…

"So we have the charity dinner tomorrow and then dinner with your family on Sunday?" she knows the answer to her question but I get the impression she is trying to change the subject.

"Yes, when we come back to Escala Sunday after dinner with my family everything should be moved into the bedroom upstairs. If you need other space in here there are plenty of guest bedrooms that can be turned into an office or anything else you want."

"I don't need much Christian, the bedroom is fine."

"There's one other thing we need to discuss…." I purposely waited until the last possible minute to bring this issue up. I don't know if Ana has thought about it yet, but I feel we need to discuss it to make sure we're both on the same page.

"Okay….." she's obviously cautious not knowing what I want to discuss.

"The press….You know they're a thorn in my side and the entire reason for this new arrangement," she nods in agreement. "They're going to need to believe that we're in love. I know our original agreement with Elena didn't include much physical displays of affection but-"

"I get it Christian and its fine. I already kind of assumed that would be part of this new arrangement. We'll need to kiss each other in public and spend more time together than we have been especially lately."

"If you're uncomfortable with anything Ana, you have to let me know. The press needs to be convinced we're in love, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in the process."

"It'll be fine Christian, don't worry."

I walk her back to her apartment after we finished our drinks and I realize tomorrow night will be the last time I walk her back here. The idea of a living with a woman full time has me a little anxious but I don't think it will be an issue with Ana. I've never lived with a woman though; I don't consider Gail living with me because she and Taylor have their own apartment that just happens to be within mine. _She_ would spend a few nights a week at my old place, but never really long term. It's definitely going to be an adjustment having someone in my space 24/7. But, it'll be worth it to save GEH.

"Thank you for dinner Christian. Gail is an amazing cook," once again Ana pulls me from my thoughts.

"I know I said it earlier Ana, but I can't thank you enough for what you're doing for me. I truly appreciate you doing this."

"You need to stop thanking me Christian, it's really not needed-"

"Ana, you really are something," I shake my head in disbelief that she can't see what an amazing thing she is doing for me. She doesn't see what she is giving up just to help me, something I don't think anyone else who knows me would do.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she stands on her tiptoes and kisses me right on the lips. On instinct my arms wrap around her waist; my body wanting or maybe needing to feel her against me again. Her kiss is hesitant, but soft and gentle at the same time. She doesn't deepen the kiss and all too soon she pulls back just enough so our eyes can meet. She blushes the cutest shade of pink, the reason for which is a mystery to me. All I can think about is kissing her again but I know that wouldn't be a good idea. The last thing we need is to complicate this as we're about to move into a new arrangement.

"If you need help packing let me know Ana. I'll have Taylor bring you boxes in the morning."

"Good night Christian," she kisses me one last time before finally pulling completely away from me and turning around to enter her apartment.

"Night Ana."

Sleep finds me easily that night and for once I don't have a nightmare. I think knowing that I have found a likely solution to the press issue and therefore my problems at GEH has made it much easier to fall asleep tonight than in past nights. I'm up before my alarm goes off, ready and waiting for Taylor in the foyer for our morning run.

"Morning sir."

"Taylor."

We take our normal jog around Seattle, which I've noticed as excluded the bakery ever since Ana stopped working there earlier this week. Prior to that, we would still jog past it even though she lived only a few floors below me. I never questioned Taylor why it was still on route nor did I suggest he change routes.

"Ana's going to be moving into the penthouse tomorrow," I announce to him on the elevator ride back from our jog.

"Yes sir."

"I need you to arrange boxes to be delivered to her apartment as soon as possible today. As you know she didn't have much when we moved her in here, so I doubt she will need very many. I would like Sawyer and Rennolds to move everything while we're at my parents' tomorrow night."

"Of course sir."

"And Taylor, I'm….I'm going to try to arrange something for tomorrow but it's short notice so I don't know if it will pan out. I just want to give you the heads up I may need you tomorrow."

"Not a problem sir."

One of the many reasons I keep Taylor around is because of moments like this; there is so much he could have said or questions he could have asked about Ana moving in but he doesn't. As long as my decisions do not impact security he doesn't question them.

I quickly take a shower and change into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to begin my day. I have a lot to do before the charity dinner so I immediately set up in my office with breakfast and coffee. There isn't much time to put my plan into action but thankfully money talks. I learned early on in my career that anything can happen if you're willing to spend enough money. Today is no different; my plans are beginning to become a reality as everything falls into place. Moving through my to do list for today, the next item is to contact Elena and inform her that Ana and I will be breaking our contract.

"Lincoln Consulting Services, how may I direct your call?"

"This is Christian Grey, I would like to speak with Elena."

"One moment please."

"Christian, how are you?"

"I'm well Elena, how are you?"

"I can't complain. Business is booming right now, which is always a good thing. How are things with Ms. Steele?"

"That's actually why I was calling-"

"Oh?"

"Anastasia and I will be terminating our contracts with you effective immediately."

"Both of you will be terminating the contracts?"

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

"Ana….Ana and I have become very close with all the time that we have spent together under your contract and we will be pursuing a more personal relationship."

"Wow…Christian I have to say this is very surprising. I knew the moment I signed Ana that someone would likely fall for her. She is a beautiful woman with such innocence that is so rare these days. I knew she wouldn't last long with me; it was only a matter of time before someone fell for her. I hadn't expected it to be you though I have to admit."

"Neither did I Elena."

"Just to make you aware, I'm going to need to speak with Ana to verify that she wants to terminate her contract before the process can be finalized."

"We understand; Ana is available today to speak to you if you contact her before four this afternoon."

"Assuming she is in agreement to this contract termination, when can I expect the termination fee to be sent?"

"I will send the payment as soon as we end the call."

"Perfect. If for some reason your relationship with Ana does not work out, you are always welcome to come back to Lincoln Consulting. I have many other girls that I'm sure would be able to meet your needs."

"I appreciate that Elena, but I don't think it will be necessary."

Keeping my word, upon disconnecting the call I transfer the money to Elena's off shore bank account effectively terminating the contract. I never thought I would see the day that I would have paid someone to accompany me to events, but with the press situation Elena's services were needed. I sit back reflecting on how things have changed with Ana since the day I first met her at the Mile High Club. Neither of us had any idea what to expect from this arrangement, but having at least ran into each other previously I think made the entire arrangement a little less awkward. Never did I ever think that the contract with Elena would have led to marriage. I mistakenly thought if I was seen with the same woman over the course of a few weeks that the press would leave me alone and let me focus on GEH.

Speaking of marriage, the next item on my agenda is the wedding. Over the course of the next few hours I manage to secure a location for the wedding and honeymoon. Everything is tentative pending Ana's approval, but I wanted to at least secure an option given the tight time frame we are under. I don't want to let too much time pass before we get married; the longer I wait the bigger the risk is for GEH. Before shutting down my laptop, I send an email to Andrea alerting to the week I will need cleared in my schedule. I don't provide a reason, but like Taylor Andrea will just do as requested and very rarely will ever ask questions.

"Sir, we should be leaving shortly," Taylor informs me.

"I'll be ready in ten minutes."

I take a quick shower before putting on the Armani tux that Gail had the cleaners deliver earlier today. For the first time in a week, I no longer feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I'm confident in my plan; marrying Ana will finally get the press of my case allowing my focus to be primarily on GEH once again.

"You look beautiful," I say as soon as Ana opens the door to her apartment. She stands in the doorway wearing a gorgeous dark blue floor length gown that sits just off her shoulders. The front of the gown hugs her breasts tightly; I can't keep my eyes away from her cleavage or my mind from wondering she was wearing underneath the gown.

"Thank you, you look handsome," when I look up I realize that Ana is blushing having clearly caught me staring at her chest. I'm tempted to demand she change into something different; something that won't have the entire male population staring at her chest tonight but I know we don't have time for that and it's unlikely Ana even has something else to wear tonight. When Ana turns to close the apartment door, I nearly groan at the back of the dress. A thin strip of dark blue lace holds the pieces of the dress together which is otherwise open to her waist.

"That dress….you really do look amazing tonight Ana," I can't help but compliment her again as we walk together to the elevator, my hand on the bare skin of her back.

"Thank you. It's not something I normally would have purchased, but Mia insisted I get it. You don't think it's too much for tonight do you?"

"No, I think it's perfect."

And it is, the dress is absolutely perfect for the dinner tonight. The dress doesn't reveal too much skin; it only accentuates Ana's amazing body even more. I inwardly curse Mia, who I'm sure choose a dress like this just to drive me crazy. The only thing I can think of on the ride to the country club is that it's going to be a very long 18 months.

"Ana, Christian! It's so nice to see you both again," my mom greets us as soon as we enter the ballroom.

"Grace, how are you?" Ana hugs my mother.

"I'm good dear, how are you?"

We are seated with my parents, Mia and her date and Elliot who decided to come single tonight which I notice he has been doing more and more lately. Once this wedding is behind us, I make a note to plan a day with Elliot to find out what's going on with him lately. A few months ago, Elliot wouldn't have been caught dead attending one of these events alone. Whether he brought a former one night stand or some random chick he met earlier than day, he always managed to bring someone.

"Christian, are you and Ana joining us for dinner tomorrow night?" my mom asks.

"Yes, we will be there."

"That's wonderful!"

"Dance with me?" I whisper to Ana just as a song finishes and there is a lull in the conversation at our table.

"Sure," she answers quickly.

I lead Ana out to the middle of the dance floor and pull her close to me just as the music begins. Thankfully Ana remembers not to touch my chest or my back while we are dancing; although the same can't be said about me. As I shift us, my hand slips to just above the fabric of her dress allowing me to caress her soft skin.

"There's a photographer just to your left; I think he's taking pictures of us," Ana whispers and I swear feeling her warm breath against my ear goes straight to my dick which has already been twitching since I picked Ana up tonight.

"Oh?" I turn us around, casually glancing in the direction she mentioned. I realize Ana was right, there is a photographer for the event with his camera pointed directly at us. I decide to take advantage of the opportunity; I take Ana's chin in my hand and lift her face to mine. I look at her plump lips and then back to her eyes, letting her know my intention. She doesn't say anything, but as I lower my lips to hers I watch her eyes close in anticipation of the kiss. The moment our lips meet, I swear a jolt of electricity goes through my body. I wrap both my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me until our bodies are flush. When Ana lets out the softest moans, I once again lose myself in the kiss. She grants me the immediate access I seek, parting her soft lips for me. When her tongue finds mine, I don't hold back the groan.

"Ladies and Gentleman, please take your seats for our meal tonight," the announcer unfortunately forces me to pull away from Ana. The blush on her face tells me Ana was just as caught up in the kiss as I was. Once again the only thing I can think is what an awful long 18 months this is going to be.

 _Author's Note 2: This chapter has not been proof read so I apologize in advance for any major errors. I wanted to get this out today seeing that there will be no updates this weekend and very few updates next week. Enjoy!_


	35. Chapter 34

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 34 APOV:**

 _Knock knock knock knock_

A loud knock on my door has me running from the shower with only a towel wrapped around my wet body. I look through the peephole wondering who in the world could be knocking on my door so early on a Sunday morning.

"Christian, what are you doing here?" I quickly open the door.

"Ana….I….." he stammers and I can feel the heat rushing to my face when I watch his eyes roam over my body. "Can I come in for a moment?"

"Of course," I open the door further to allow him to enter before closing and locking it behind us.

"I apologize for stopping by unannounced but I would like to take you out today," he says.

"Okay….where will we be going?"

"That's a surprise. Just wear comfortable clothes; jeans are fine. Oh and a light jacket, it's a little chilly this morning."

"We're going now?"

"Well, as soon as you're dressed. I don't mind seeing you in a towel, but I don't think I want the press seeing this much of my future wife."

"I….Give me a couple of minutes," I start walking down the hall to my bedroom. "Oh, there's coffee in the pot if you want some."

I quickly shut my bedroom door, grab the clothes I had left out for today and head into the adjoining bathroom to change. I'm thankful Christian didn't say I needed to wear something too dressy, because other than the clothes I have picked out for dinner with his pants tonight everything else I own has been packed into the half a dozen boxes that now line the wall. It's hard to believe that after dinner tonight with Christian's parents I won't be returning to this apartment; instead I will be accompanying Christian to his apartment where I will be moving in with him. I'll never admit it to Christian, but I stayed up a long time last night questioning my decision to agree to this "marriage" with Christian. I can't help but wonder if I'm making the right decision. It's been so long since I've trusted my instinct in people, I can't help but worry what if I'm reading Christian wrong. I don't think Christian is anything like _he_ was, but of course I never thought _he_ would hit me the way he did or control my life to the point where I wasn't allowed to leave the house without permission. For the first time since I decided to change my life, I'm trusting my instincts and hoping that I'm making the right decision. I take a deep breath and head out to the living room where Christian is waiting for me.

"Is this okay?" I ask indicating what I'm wearing.

"It's fine; do you have everything you need?"

"You tell me," I giggle. "I don't know where we are going so I'm not sure what to bring."

"Good point. I guess just grab your purse and then we can go."

I set the alarm and walk out with Christian; we meet Taylor in the hallway by the elevator where he tends to wait whenever I'm picked up or dropped off by Christian. I like that he gives us a little privacy but is still close enough should either of us need him. I know it will be different when I move in tonight but at least he is still in within the apartment somewhere.

"Taylor will give you the security code you will need to access the penthouse later today. You won't be able to access the penthouse without this code, but of course Sawyer will has it and he should be with you whenever you leave the apartment. But if you go to the gym or something without him, you'll need to have this code with you."

"Okay."

"Are you all packed or do you need any help finishing?"

"No, I have everything packed. I left out something to wear to your parents' tonight, but otherwise everything is in boxes in the bedroom. There are a few things in the fridge and freezer that I'll have to get tonight or tomorrow-"

"I'll have Gail bring anything to the apartment while we're at dinner tonight. I should have mentioned this before, but Gail keeps the kitchen fully stocked at all times but if there's anything you want just let her know and she will pick it up when she goes to the market during the week. Obviously Gail takes care of all the meals during the week, but she is off on the weekends. Typically she freezes a few meals for me for the weekends so I don't starve…" he chuckles.

"I'll cook for us on the weekends Christian; you know I enjoy cooking-"

"If you want to cook Ana, I wouldn't complain but I don't want you to feel you have to cook."

We fall into a comfortable silence as the drive continues; I can tell from looking out the window that we are leaving the city limits of Seattle but I still have no idea where we are going. Surprisingly though, unlike the last time when I got in the car with Sawyer without knowing where I was going, this time there is no anxiety. I'm not worried about where Christian is taking me and I don't feel trapped like I did with Sawyer. This realization helps reinforce my trust that perhaps I am doing the right thing.

"We will arrive in about twenty minutes," Taylor arrives.

"Perfect, thank you," Christian responds.

"You're still not going to tell me where we're going?" I ask.

"No. You trust me right?" he says it with a smile but his eyes are questioning, almost as if he wants reassurance that I'm okay with this.

"I do."

A few minutes later we approach a gate, Taylor says something to the person standing by that I can't hear and then the gates are opened. I look around and finally see a sign that reads "Washington Air Field."

"We're flying?" I ask.

"Gliding actually."

Christian has a big smile on his face; I remember him telling me he enjoyed doing this when I spent the weekend taking care of him. Taylor opens our door a few minutes later; we exit the SUV but Christian asks me to stay there while he speaks to Taylor. There's not much to see from where we are, just a few really large garage type buildings and a couple of smaller planes nearby. I looked up gliding after Christian told me he liked it; from what I read we will ride in a small plane that has no engine. Another plane will pull us and at some point release us after which we will be gliding on our own. I have no idea how our plane doesn't crash or how we manage to land safely. I didn't read too much into it because I never thought I would get a chance to do it. Yet here I am….

"Are you ready to go gliding?"

"I guess."

"Nervous?"

"Yes."

"Don't be. I've done this hundreds of times; you'll love it I promise."

"I hope you're right."

He takes my hand as we walk into one of the large buildings where I'm introduced to Scott our pilot for today. The three of us walk over to a small plane that is already on the runway. I'm surprised when Christian instructs me to climb into the front seat but he explains that he controls the plane from the back seat. He assists me in buckling the seatbelt because my hands are shaking too bad to coordinate my movements from nervousness. I can't remember the last time I was so nervous…well maybe I can-

"Don't look so panicked. I promise you nothing will happen, okay?"

I nod in agreement.

"If you don't want to do this-"

"No I do," I interrupt quickly. He wanted to share this with me; I won't ruin this opportunity and say no. "I'm just nervous, I'm sure I'll be fine once we take off."

"Don't worry," he leans in and kisses me softly on the lips immediately easing my nerves but also raising my body temperature quite a bit. He smiles at me just before he steps back, climbing into his seat behind me. Scott, the pilot, comes over and checks that we are secure in the plane before explaining how everything works. Essentially I don't need to do anything; Christian will control everything from his seat. We can talk to each other through the headphones we are wearing; Scott shows us both how to switch the channel if we need to communicate with him or the airfield. Otherwise our headphones allow us only to talk to one another.

"Are you ready?" Christian asks.

"Yes."

A few minutes later the plane in front of us starts moving, we are dragged slightly behind it until it picks up enough speed to bring us into the air. I close my eyes upon take off; too terrified to look at the ground shrinking underneath us.

"You should open your eyes, it's really beautiful up here," I hear Christian say and I reluctantly open my eyes. He was right, it is incredible up here; we are flying above the clouds and all that can be seen is the blue sky around us.

"Releasing on three….Enjoy your trip Mr. Grey and Ms. Steele….One….Two…Three…." and with that the plane pulling us suddenly disappears. A quick glimpse out the window confirms we are no longer attached to it as it turns sharply and appears to head back to the airfield.

"Are you really flying this thing?" I can't help but ask nervously.

"I am," I can hear how proud he is in his voice. He doesn't sound like he is mocking me, even though he easily could. "Stop worrying; just look at everything around you."

I slowly feel my body start to relax as I do what Christian suggested and take in the beautiful view around me. Things are simple up here: there is no press, no pasts to haunt us, no decisions to second guess and most important there are no worries. It's as if Christian and I are the only people in the world up here; how different things would be if that were the case. Unfortunately the trip ends far sooner than I would have liked. As we approach the area I assume we are landing in, I realize I still have no idea where we are. There's a large field ahead of us that we seem to be aiming for, but otherwise I don't see anything. The landing is a little bumpy, but we don't crash land as I initially thought we might. Instead, we sort of just come to a slow landing and eventually the plane stops. Christian helps me out of the plane, holding me steady as I initially sort of wobble when I stand on the ground again.

"What did you think?" he asks.

"Oh God, Christian that was amazing! I've never experienced anything like that! Thank you so much for sharing this with me," I stand on my toes, wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. I think I caught him by surprise because it takes a few seconds before he wraps his arms around my waist. I don't know how long we stay like that, but as I slide back down to my feet our eyes meet. I don't move my arms from his neck and he doesn't move his from my waist. In fact, our bodies are still touching as if neither of us wants to pull away just yet. I don't know who initiates it, but the next thing I know our lips meet and the spark that I felt the last night when we kissed is once again there. The kiss starts of gentle and slow, but is quickly depended we both grant each other the access we're seeking. Christian's hands slowly move from my waist, sliding up and down my back and my sides as we kiss. When I run my fingers through his hair, he groans just barely loud enough for me to hear him. I want to touch more of him; I want to run my hands down his chest so I can feel the muscles that I saw when we went swimming on the boat. I don't though; he asked me not to touch his back and his chest and although I may not understand the reasons why I know I need to respect that. I hope one day he lets me in and tells me the reason, but until then I need to show him he can trust me which I know won't be easy for him.

"We should get going," Christian's heavy breathing matches mine when he pulls back just barely enough so I can hear him.

"We probably should," I admit but I don't move either. "Thank you for sharing this with me Christian, it really was an amazing experience."

"I'm glad you were here too," he kisses me one last time before taking me by the hand and leading me away from the plane.

My face flushes with the realization of what just happened and then of course my mind goes into overdrive, analyzing what, if anything, it meant. There was no press around, no parents, no one except us. There was no one to put the act on for; yet that kiss was one of the most passionate ones we have shared. Last night's kiss on the dance floor at dinner I chalked up to the photographer that was there; I figured Christian just wanted to drive the point home to the press so there would be no doubt that we were still together. Today though….there was no one around to put on a show for. I'm not sure what to think about what just happened; of course I enjoyed it but I don't want things to get complicated between us. I also don't want to send mixed signals to Christian that I might want something more than friendship. In another time and another place maybe that would have been an option, but right now we need to maintain our friendship in order for this "marriage" to work.

I follow Christian through the field where we landed, through a small area of woods to an area that has a blanket laid out in the grass and a picnic basket set out on it. I had no idea what to expect after gliding, but a picnic lunch on a blanket in the middle of nowhere was definitely not one of them. When we reach the blanket, Christian turns around and drops to one knee before me completely surprising me even more.

"Ana…." He takes a deep breath before reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small black square box. "The day I met you on the sidewalk that rainy afternoon, I knew you were like no one I had ever met. You were the first woman who ever tried to refuse money from me; it was in that moment that I knew you saw me for me and not for my bank account. You shocked me again when we met to negotiate our contract with Elena and you had no idea who I was. I had expected after that afternoon on the sidewalk you would have gone home and searched me out on the internet. Since we met, you have continued to surprise and amaze me. You're a strong, independent and beautiful woman who puts others before her own needs. I am glad that Elena brought us together; that she sent me your profile that day so many months ago. You have helped me in more ways than you will ever know and one day I hope to be able to do the same for you. I never expected a friendship to have come from a contract with Elena, but I am very thankful one did. I have enjoyed spending time with you these last few months and I look forward to getting to know you further. Ana, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Despite knowing that this whole "marriage" and subsequent proposal is fake, my eyes can't help but fill with tears at Christian's words. I never expected an actual marriage proposal from Christian; I guess I just of expected him to slip a ring on my finger in the car on the way to his parents' tonight or maybe before we left Escala. I never dreamed he would have gone through such lengths to actually propose to me. This entire day….all the trouble he went through to arrange this, in incredibly short time no less, has been nothing short of amazing. Hell, this puts my first marriage proposal to absolute shame and this one isn't even real.

"Ana? You're kind of freaking me out here…" Christian pulls me from my thoughts which were about to absolutely ruin the moment.

"I'm sorry; you took me completely by surprise."

"Will you marry me Ana?"

"Yes, I will Christian," I smile and quickly blink away the tears hoping that Christian didn't see them. He slips the ring onto my finger, which is a perfect fit despite not knowing my ring size. He stands up, pulls me close to him and hugs me tightly.

"Thank you Ana," Christian whispers just before he places a quick kiss on my lips. "Hey, what's wrong? Is it the ring? If you don't like it-"

"God no! The ring is perfect Christian!" I barely glanced at as he slid it on my finger, but no matter what it looks like I would never ask Christian to exchange it.

"Then why do you look like you're about to burst into tears?" his arms remain around my waist not letting me move away from him and save myself the embarrassment I'm feeling right now.

"Nothing is wrong Christian," I try to assure him while finding the words to explain what I'm feeling right now. "This….Today….it was just perfect and completely unexpected Christian. Thank you for all of this; for making today….."

"Ana," he lifts my chin up so our eyes meet again. I desperately try to blink the last few tears threatening to fall away, not wanting him to think that he did something wrong. His proposal got to me; what he said to me, made me realize how little _he_ really knew me and how little _he_ thought of me. "You deserve this and so much more Ana."

Christian's lips once again find mine; they are soft and gentle as his arms hold me against him. Unlike the kiss by the plane, this one doesn't deepen but in an odd way is very different from that kiss. I don't know how to describe it, but even without Christian's hands sliding over my body, this kiss feels…more intimate. I quickly push those thoughts from my head; surely I'm just feeling that way because I'm emotional from his proposal.

"What do you say we have some lunch?" Christian asks.

"Sure, thank you."

I see Christian try to adjust himself without being noticed before he sits down and the heat immediately rushes to my face with the realization that our kiss had turned him on. The lines between us are blurring already and we have even moved in together yet. I don't know what I think about it either. The last thing Christian needs right now is for things to get complicated between us. I think this arrangement has worked so well until this point is because we are comfortable together. What happens if the lines are blurred even more between us and then we suddenly become uncomfortable with each other?

"Gail sent some sandwiches, fruit and bottled water for lunch," Christian has unpacked the picnic basket and placed everything on the blanket in front of us completely oblivious to my worried thoughts.

"Sounds good," I smile and take one of the wrapped sandwiches from him.

When Christian is eating, I finally look at the ring he slipped on my finger. The center of the ring holds a large square diamond that is easily the biggest diamond that I've ever seen. There are at least a dozen smaller diamonds on each side of the large ring which all glimmer in the sunlight.

"Are you sure you like it? I wanted something that you would comfortable wearing everyday, but if you would rather have something-"

"No, Christian. The ring is absolutely perfect; it's really beautiful."

"I was thinking that until the wedding, you shouldn't wear the ring in public so the press doesn't find out about the engagement before we're ready for them to. Wearing it tonight to my parents and of course around Escala is fine, but for dinners or events…"

"No, that makes sense."

"I've spent some time on the internet this weekend and I found a few places that I thought we might consider for the wedding."

"You've been busy," I can't hide the surprise that he managed to arrange all of this, purchase a ring and now spend time researching venues for our wedding since I agreed to this arrangement less than two days ago.

"I have."

"So what venues did you find for the wedding?"

"There's a few on the California cost that I think would be perfect for the beach wedding you said you wanted-"

"Christian, that was just a dream. If you would rather-"

"Ana, you're doing this for me; the least I can do is give you the wedding you've dreamed of since you were a child."

He goes on to describe the different venues, showing me pictures on his ipad that was packed in the picnic basket, but I'm still stuck on the fact that he is doing this for me. He is giving me the wedding I dreamed of as a child when he could have easily arranged a grand wedding in some country club somewhere. Instead, he has chosen venues that advertise small, intimate beach weddings.

"Any of these three places would allow us to manage security for the event; a few of the other places I found online were too open to the public which would make security a challenge. What do you think of these options?"

"Honestly, they all look amazing Christian. I love this one with the rocks in the background-"

"That was my favorite as well."

"So we just need to pick a date?"

"If you are agreeable, I'm thinking two weeks from yesterday."

"Two weeks? You want to plan the wedding in two weeks?"

"It's fast, I know, but like I said I don't want too much time to pass before we announce our marriage to the press. With GEH-"

"No, it's not that Christian. I just don't know if we can pull all of this off in two weeks. People plan weddings over several months; two weeks….wow."

"Ana, I learned very early on in my career that money talks. If you are agreeable with the date, I can guarantee that two weeks will be enough time to plan the wedding. My mother uses an event planner that we could contract with to handle all the details of the wedding and since we're not inviting many people we don't need to worry about giving everyone plenty of notice to attend."

"If you think we can make it happen, I'm fine with getting married in two weeks….although wow that sounds so weird to say!"

"I know…I thought that when I was looking at these venues. I've called all three and they are available for that weekend so if definitely want this one I'll call them this afternoon and put the deposit down to hold the date."

"I think this one is perfect; and you said you liked it too right?"

"I do; the view from the beach is incredible."

"It really is."

Over the rest of lunch, we finalize some of the plans for the wedding. Assuming the venue is still available, in less than two weeks we will be married on a beautiful beach in California. We will be meeting with a wedding planner hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday the latest to outline the necessary plans. Due to concerns with the press, everything will be brought to Escala rather than us going out to look at cakes, decorations or gowns. It's going to be a very busy two weeks; I suppose it's a good thing that I needed to take time off from the bakery, I'm not sure how I would manage all of this otherwise.


	36. Chapter 35

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: A few mixed reviews on Ana accepting Christian's proposal and the extent that Christian is going through with the wedding and the proposal. A few readers commented that it was unfair for Christian to be arranging her dream wedding when her dream included someone she was in love with. While I have no doubt that every girl's dream wedding involves someone she is head of heels in love with, please remember that Ana specifically told Christian that after leaving her ex she never dreamed of marrying again. In Christian's eyes, he is giving her the wedding she has dreamed of knowing that it's very likely she will let herself trust someone enough to one day get married and have that dream wedding._

 **Chpt. 35 CPOV:**

I walked Ana back to her apartment after lunch so she can get ready for dinner with my family later tonight. I'm pleased with how today turned out; everything I planned worked out as planned. I was worried we wouldn't be able to get into the air on such short notice but once again money talks. I was able to convince the owner of the airfield to call in a pilot who was scheduled off today for the right price. Even though this marriage is a fake, I wanted Ana to remember the day I proposed to her. I have no idea how that fucker she was with before proposed, but it was important to me to replace whatever memory she had of him proposing with me. Based on the tears in her eyes, I think my mission was accomplished.

When I get back to the apartment, I immediately head for the shower off my bedroom. I'm under the water for less than a minute before the memory of kissing Ana comes to the surface. I still can't believe how caught up in the kiss we both were at dinner last night; neither of us noticed that the song ended and that the dance floor was empty except for the two of us. I chalked up the intensity of the kiss to the photographer being there and us both wanting to put on a show.

The kiss today though….that was so….so much more than the one last night was. I wasn't planning on kissing Ana today; the plan was to take her gliding and then bring her to the picnic area where I would propose properly to her. I had hoped she would enjoy gliding but her reaction took me completely by surprise. The moment she wrapped her arms around my neck and put her body flush against mine I knew I was done. I tried to behave; I tried not to focus on Ana's body against mine but I lost that battle quickly. I don't know if she kissed me or if I kissed her, but when our lips met any thoughts of not focusing on Ana's body disappeared.

It was as if I was a horny teenager again; I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like to feel her naked against me. My mind was running rampant with all sorts of images of Ana's naked body against mine but what made me pull back from her was the image of her lying naked in my bed. I've never had a woman naked in my bed before; I never fucked a woman in my bed. When _she_ stayed over, we fucked in the room and then went to our separate bedrooms. After _her_ , fucking was only done at the club. Before _her_ , I never brought a woman back to my apartment – that was reserved for hotel rooms that were booked under GEH's name. They were only one night stands; there was never an expectation of something beyond that so the hotel kept things simple. I was confused and taken back by the thought of wanting Ana naked in my bed. I've never wanted a woman there, yet here I was picturing Ana in my bed waiting for me.

When we walked to the picnic area, I constantly reminded myself that I could never be the man she needs. I may be marrying her; but I'm not the guy she dreamed of marrying as a little girl. I'm not her knight in shining armor that is going to save her. She deserves someone who comes with a hell of a lot less baggage. Someone who can hold her at night and fall asleep next to her. Someone who can sleep with her in the bed that they share. Someone who can make love to her. That's not me and never will be. I can't be what she wants or what she needs; I need to focus on keeping this arrangement as just that – an arrangement between two people to help each other out. I can't risk blurring the lines of this arrangement; I can't risk things becoming awkward between us, the impact of that is too great. It's one thing to kiss Ana in front of the press like last night or while we're out in public in case others are watching, but the kiss by the plane was something that just happened between us and had nothing to do with our arrangement. As much as I know I shouldn't have kissed her, when her body pressed against mine that was the only thing I could think of. I need to find some way to stop thinking of Ana like that; it will only complicate things between us.

By the time we reached the clearing that Taylor had found for our picnic lunch, I had my hard on under control. My speech went off without a hitch; I had read and reread the speech I wrote so many times that morning that I knew it was unlikely I would forget it. I know I could have slipped a ring onto Ana's hand any time before we went to my parents' tonight, but I felt like I at the very least owed her an actual proposal. I wanted her to know how amazing I thought she was; not only for agreeing to this crazy arrangement but for everything else that she has done for me. I wanted her to remember this proposal; I wanted to make it special for her so that she didn't see this entire arrangement as the business transaction that it was. I hoped that the proposal showed her how much she has come to mean to me in the few months since we have become friends.

When it took her a few minutes to respond to my proposal, I couldn't help but worry that she had changed her mind. That my proposal had backfired and that she realized she this wasn't what she wanted at all. I nearly died when she finally said yes and agreed to marry me. The tears in her eyes though were not expected; I'm still not sure why she was so close to crying but she assured me that everything was okay and when I kissed her I believed her. I tried to convey in the kiss how grateful I was for what she was doing; I've said it to her plenty of times in the last 48 hours but I wanted her to not only feel it but to believe it. Not thinking about kissing her lasted less than ten minutes; perhaps after today it would just be best if I didn't let us get into situations like this, where kissing her would become almost expected. If only her lips didn't feel so soft against mine; if only her body pressed against mine didn't cause me to start thinking with my dick.

The memory of kissing Ana so many times today, has my dick standing at full attention. I sigh, shaking my head realizing that this here is what my sex life is going to consist of for the next year and a half or longer. I can't stop thinking about all the little moans she makes when I kiss her and her body moved against mine unconsciously when we were kissing. As I stroke my dick, I imagine Ana's hand on me instead of my own; her soft hand wrapped around me stroking me as tease her hardened nipples. I can't help but wonder how she likes to be fucked. Would she like to be taken against this wall? I can easily picture her in here with me even though I've never taken a shower with a woman before. I can picture her body against the cool tile of the shower as we explore each other's bodies. I can imagine lifting Ana up against the wall; her arms would wrap around my neck as her legs encircle my waist. I nearly lose it when she reaches between us, strokes my one last time before placing it against her opening. Her eyes go wide as I slide slowly into her tight core; her walls convulse around me as her breathing hitches in my ear. It only takes a few quick thrusts to bring her over the edge; she screams out my name which does me in. One final thrust into her has me emptying myself as she milks me dry…

"Fuck! Ana!" In the reality of the shower, I find my release by my own hand instead of inside of Ana.

I have no idea how I'm going to fucking last the next eighteen months if I can barely get through a day with Ana. It felt so good to kiss Ana today, to have her body against mine and to bring that smile to her face when she experienced gliding for the first time. I was nervous that she wouldn't agree to go with me this morning without knowing where we were going, especially after what happened the last time I tried something like this. But, she surprised me; when I told her it was a surprise she didn't press the issue too much. She didn't have the near panic attack that she said she had with Sawyer. The enormity of the amount of trust she has in me weighs heavy on me. I know how hard this is for her; I only hope I don't do something to fuck it up. I have no idea how to be in a long term relationship; even though this is a relationship of convenience it's still a long term relationship. I have no idea how to live with a woman and that still scares the shit out me despite her moving in tonight while we're at dinner. I'm nervous on so many levels but in the end if it saves GEH it will be worth it. I just need to try my damnest not to hurt Ana in the process.

"Sir?" Taylor finds me in my study a short time later.

"Come in Taylor."

"We believe we have identified Ana's ex-"

"Finally! What the fuck took so long?"

"It took some digging; Ana's name wasn't on the deed to the house and the residence they shared wasn't even the address she used anywhere. We finally identified him through a picture of them attending a holiday dinner through his employer."

"What do we know about him?"

"Jack Hyde, is a somewhat successful advertising executive for an agency in New York City. From what we can tell he has had a few successful campaigns but has also had a few that went south. He has been with his current employer for about five years, but has held a variety of jobs there."

"What else?" Now that we have a name I want to fucking know everything about this piece of shit. I will find a way to ruin him if it's the last thing I do. He deserves to pay for what he did to Ana.

"On paper, there's nothing that stands out. He's 33 years old-"

"He's almost 10 years older than Ana?"

"Yes, according to the date of birth listed on his driver's license. He appears younger so I wouldn't be surprised if he told Ana he was in his twenty's. He's been married twice, both ended in divorce. Minor criminal record: speeding tickets, disorderly conduct….that type of thing."

"That's it?"

"Yes sir. Nothing that stood out that we have found yet, but I have Welsh and Barney continuing to dig further."

"Very well Taylor. Email me what you have."

I expected something more to have come up on his background report, but at least I finally have a fucking name to go with the little that Ana has told me about her involvement with him. So many times I've wanted to ask her what the fuck she was doing with a slimeball who wanted to control her life and who hit her, but I don't. I know that asking her that wouldn't bring me any answers; I can picture her closing up the moment I raise the issue. I also want to know about her childhood; what happened that she talks so little about that time her in life. I'm tempted to ask Taylor to dig into that too, but at the same time I want Ana to open up and tell me herself.

Before we leave to pick up Ana for dinner, I call the venue we decided on for the wedding and speak with the manager. I have signed NDAs by all their staff within the hour; hearing that they will have the opportunity to host my wedding has the owner moving very quickly. I contact my travel agent and provide him with the details of the honeymoon that I want booked. If all goes as planned, in just over two weeks GEH's PR department will release a statement announcing our marriage complete with a picture from the ceremony as proof.

"Good Evening Ana, you look….stunning," I can't help but struggle with the words when she answers the door in a deep blue wrap dress that seems to hug her curves just perfectly before becoming much looser at her waist.

"Thank you Christian," she blushes under my eyes and moves to close the door.

"Sawyer, Rennolds and Gail will be down shortly to move your boxes. If they miss anything they will get it tomorrow morning for you."

"Thank you."

With my hand on her back, we head to the parking garage to the SUV that is waiting to take us to my parents' house. Looking at the ring on Ana's hand has reality setting in; I, Christian Grey, will be getting married in less than two weeks. Even if the marriage is arranged and not for love, the idea that I'm letting a woman back into my personal space is frightening. Before the weekend I was sick, I swore I would never let a woman into space again; that I would never put myself at risk again. I learned with _her_ that an NDA means nothing; for the right price _she_ was willing to risk it all. I'll never know if her motive was simply money or if it was to actually ruin me. I have no doubts that Ana is different, but the risk still remains nonetheless. I trusted _her_ ; I let _her_ into my life never expecting _her_ to end up being a complete fake who only used me. I never expected to fall for _her_ the way I did; although looking back I think the attraction was more lust than anything else. To this day, I have no idea how I was so blind to what she after. The realization of that has me second guessing this entire arrangement with Ana; what if it backfires on me again? Ana has proven to me that she isn't like _her_ but what if it's all an act? What if she is just a better actress than _she_ was? What if-

"Are you okay?" Ana pulls me from my near anxiety attack.

"Yeah, fine," I lie.

"I'm glad you are because I'm a nervous wreck," she admits with a giggle.

"You are? Why? You know my parents adore you," I turn my focus back to Ana relieved to not have to go down memory lane analyzing all the mistakes I've made in my life.

"I worry what your parents will think about our engagement; that maybe they will think it's all too soon. Most people take months to plan a wedding, yet we're doing it in less than two weeks. Don't you think they will be suspicious about that?"

"Ana, calm down," I squeeze her hand reassuringly. "My parents knew each other for less than one week before they were married so-"

"What? Less than a week?"

"Yes, they were married six days after they first met," I chuckle recalling the story my parents have told us so many times. "They met some type of a conference they were both attending; my mom was there as part of a med school class while my father was there because a friend dragged him along to keep him from being bored. The conference was in Vegas, of all places. Over lunch on the first day, they were in line next to each other and when my father realized that my mother was at the conference alone he invited her to join him for lunch. The story goes that they hit it off immediately; they spent the next few days spending all their free time together. Even though they lived near each other, when the time came to leave Vegas neither of them wanted their relationship to end. Personally, I think a little alcohol was involved in the decision, but according to the both of them after the final day of the conference they were walking around the city one last time and walked past a wedding chapel. My father joked they should get married and when my mother turned to him to say yes, they walked right into the chapel."

"Really? Wow….that's so sweet!"

"They've been married 35 years now and love to tell the story of how they met every year on their anniversary. They both said after spending so much time together they just knew that they were meant to be. When they returned home, they moved in together and finished their degrees while supporting each other."

"So you don't think this will sound suspicious to them?"

"I think they are going to be surprised; I can almost guarantee that. They probably expect something like this from Elliot or even Mia, but they will definitely not expect it from me. I think it would raise more concerns if they hadn't met you already, so that's definitely going to work in our favor."

"I hope so."

"Don't be nervous; my family adores you and they will be happy with the news."

"Sir, ma'am," Taylor alerts us that we are parked in my parents' driveway. I hadn't realized the car had stopped since my focus was on easing Ana's concerns.

"I should take this," I slide the ring off of Ana's finger before we leave the car. "I'll put it back on at dinner right before we share the news."

She nods and I slip the ring into my jacket pocket before sliding out of the SUV; Ana follows after me and we walk into my parents' house with my hand on her back. We are immediately greeted by my very bubbly sister who quickly lets Ana know how much she loves the dress she is wearing tonight. I watch as Mia takes Ana's hand and leads her into the greet room where everyone is waiting for us. I sit down next to Elliot who unlike the last time we were here, looks much more like himself and immediately starts talking about the baseball game that was on yesterday.

"Everyone, dinner is ready," my mom announces a short time later.

Ana waits for me before heading into the dining room, as we sit down I can sense the nervousness returning to her as her leg shakes under the table.

"Stop worrying," I lean over and whisper to her before placing my hand on her knee trying to calm her down. She smiles at me although the tension doesn't leave her body; I leave my hand on her knee as this seems to have helped calm her nerves at least somewhat.

Small talk is made while we pass around the plates of food; once again Ana comfortably joins in on conversations and my family does everything they can to include her at dinner. I can't help recall one of the first times I brought _her_ here for dinner; it was beyond uncomfortable, I swear you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. At the time I chalked it up to _her_ being nervous about meeting my family for the first time, but looking back I realize how little of an effort she even made to get to know my family. I can't picture _her_ ever going shopping with Mia like Ana did and she certainly never would have let Mia dress her in those awful outfits that Ana wore. Watching Ana comfortably chat with my family, eases my earlier worry that perhaps I am making the right decision.

When dinner finishes, I take Ana's ring from my jacket pocket and slip it under the table. While Ana is talking with my mom about something I bring her hand beneath the table onto her lap. To anyone who is paying any attention I'm sure this just looks like I want to hold her hand. However, once our hands are hidden by the table cloth, I slip the ring back onto her finger and give her hand a gentle squeeze preparing her for the announcement I'm back to make.

"I have some news that I would like to share," I take a deep breath and say during a lull in the conversation. All eyes are immediately on me; I'm sure everyone expects me to share some news about a company GEH has acquired or something like that. I doubt anyone expects what I'm about to say. "Earlier today, I asked Ana to marry me and she said yes."

"Wow…." My mom leans back in obvious surprise. "I'm thrilled for you both, this is so exciting."

"Never thought I would see the day bro, but congrats," Elliot slaps me on the back.

"Congratulations son," my dad said.

"So have you picked a date yet?" Mia asks. "I can't wait to start planning!"

"We will be getting married two weeks from yesterday," I reply and watch everyone's jaws hit the floor for the second time in only a few minutes.

"Oh my God! Are you pregnant Ana?" Mia asks loudly.

"No! Definitely not," Ana quickly stammers.

"Mia!" Grace scolds her.

"I'm sorry….I just thought…."

"It's okay Mia. No, we are not planning a quick wedding because Ana is pregnant," I confirm almost chuckling to myself at the irony of that question given that Ana and I haven't even had sex.

"Two weeks….that's not much time Christian," my mom points out.

"It's not a lot of time, but we both want a very small wedding so there won't be a lot to plan. The venue for the wedding has already been booked-"

"Where are you getting married?" Mia interrupts.

"On a beach in California," I answer.

"Wait until you see the pictures, it's absolutely beautiful there. The beach is very private and is surrounded by rocks and the ocean," Ana describes the pictures we viewed online almost perfectly. I can see the smile in her eyes as she describes the beach where the ceremony will take place.

"You've already booked the location?" my dad asks his eyes questioning.

"Yes, we've been talking about getting married for a couple of weeks now so we knew the type of wedding we both wanted. Before I proposed today, I found a few venues that I thought Ana would like and afterwards we both chose one that happened to be our favorite."

"How did he ask you to marry him Ana?" my mom asks.

"He completely surprised me," Ana goes on to tell how I picked her up this morning, took her gliding and then proposed over a picnic lunch.

"Bro! I've been trying to get you to take me gliding forever but you always had an excuse!"

"Sorry Elliot, it was something I thought Ana would enjoy doing."

"UGH, I'm jealous that the first person Christian takes gliding is you Ana. I've also been begging for Christian to take me but he won't," Mia says.

Ana looks at me with questioningly; I shake my head at her unasked question which surprises her. I have no doubt that she assumed I had taken _her_ gliding with me but as Mia revealed this has been something that until earlier today I enjoyed by myself.

"Christian can I speak to you for a moment?" My dad asks.

"I'll be right back," I whisper to Ana before kissing her gently on the cheek and following my dad into his office. I was expecting him to ask to see me, no doubt to ensure that I have had Ana sign a prenup. He's a lawyer, so I fully expect his immediate reaction to be about my money and GEH.

"Let's have a drink to celebrate your engagement son," he pours me a small glass of scotch. We click our glasses before taking a drink.

"Before you ask," I decide to put everything on the table before he can even bring it up. "Yes, Ana has already signed a prenup. She is aware that she is not entitled to half of my company if our marriage were to end."

"While I'm glad to hear that and appreciate you thought this through, I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into," he takes another drink before continuing. "Marriage isn't easy; it's not something you do one day and never think about again. Marriage takes work; you have to be committed to spending the rest of your life with that beautiful woman out there. You need to make the time in your busy schedule to ensure she knows every day how much you love her. You need to make sure that you spend time together, and I don't mean at all these business dinners that you go to. Once in a while, you need to spend time just with her. Even if that's just curling up on the couch and watching a movie; it's important that you take those couple of hours out of your busy schedule to let her know that she is important to you. Marriage is not another acquisition that GEH has made; one that you pay attention to in the beginning and then let do it's own thing only monitoring it through financial reports every month-"

"Dad, I wouldn't-"

"I'm not saying you are planning to do any of this Christian. I am just sharing my experience with you. It's easy to let life take over and for your marriage to take a back seat to everything else going on especially with GEH as successful as it is. I don't want you to lose what you have right now; anyone can tell by the way you and Ana look at each other how in love you are. Don't ever stop looking her like that Christian."

"I won't Dad."

His words startle me; that's the second time that someone has said that they can tell how in love Ana and I are by the way we look at each other. When my mom first said it I chalked it up to Ana and I being good at acting; but my father seeing it is surprising. He's not the romantic type so for him to say what he said confuses me. What is it they are seeing between me and Ana? How is it we're looking at each other that make people think we are in love? Of course it's great for publicity and supports our arrangement further, yet I can't help but wonder what it is people are seeing. Could they just be seeing two friends who care about each other? That must be it. They must be confusing that with love...

"I'm very happy for you son. It's obvious how much Ana loves you and it's good to see you happy again. I haven't seen you smile this much in a very long time."

"Thank you Dad."

We make our way back to the greet room where Ana is chatting with my mom and Mia about our wedding plans. They're talking about flowers and decorations; all things I could care less about.

"We do not want the media to learn of our engagement as a security measure; we need to ask that for now you each keep this news to yourself. We will be using a wedding planner who will have everything brought to Escala rather than us going into stores to make decisions."

"That makes sense son. I'll give you the name of the event planner I use; you don't have to use her Ana-"

"Thank you Grace, that would be very helpful," Ana says.

"I know you said this was going to be a small wedding but how small are we talking?" my mom asks.

"I'm not sure," I look at Ana but she shrugs. "We want it very small; just immediate family and probably Roz and Gwen from work."

"Ana, how many people from your family will you be expecting?"

"Umm….my family will not be able to attend our wedding," Ana says.

"Oh," my mom is obviously surprised by this. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's fine."

"We will probably end up with a dozen or so people at the wedding," I quickly bring everyone back to the original topic to take the focus off of Ana. She looks incredibly uncomfortable right now; I doubt she expected anyone to ask about her family and why they wouldn't be in attendance at our wedding. I wrap my arm around her lower back, trying to keep her from thinking about her past. I don't know much about her childhood, but I know it's bad enough that she is estranged from anyone in her family. Given the little bit she has shared I know this is not something she wants to be thinking about especially not right now.

"That sounds lovely; small and intimate," my mom says.

"That's what we're going for," Ana smiles and I can almost see the tension leaving her body. "I couldn't see having a huge wedding surrounded by people you barely know. It seems too formal for me."

"I assume your PR department will make some sort of announcement about the marriage?" my dad asks.

"Yes, while we're on our honeymoon the PR department will release a statement and a chosen picture from the ceremony announcing our marriage," I explain.

"Where are you going for a honeymoon?" Mia asks.

"That's a surprise," I smile at Ana who is looking at me unsure. "Not even Ana knows where we are going."

"How is she going to know what to pack? A girl needs to know these things Christian; you can't just spring-" Mia tries to argue.

"I will arrange to have a personal shopper put together everything she will need for the honeymoon Mia, don't worry," I assure her. "And if there is something that is forgotten, we will pick it up there."

"Well, I'm sure it will be wonderful wherever you go," Grace says.

Before we leave to head back to Escala, my mom and Mia have planned with Ana to come to Escala as soon as it can be arranged to help Ana chose a wedding gown. I almost interrupted at first letting them know it wasn't necessary because I didn't want Ana to feel pressured, but after seeing her eyes light up I realized that she was looking forward to having them there with her. I hadn't realized that planning a wedding might be hard for Ana without having any family of her own to help her. I'm grateful that my mom and sister stepped in and offered their support to Ana.

"Everything moved in Taylor?" I ask as we drive back to Escala.

"Yes sir. Ms. Steele's boxes have been placed in the spare bedroom next to her room."

"Thank you Taylor," Ana says.

"Of course Ms. Steele."

"You know you can call me Ana right?" she smirks.

"Yes Ms. Steele," I can almost hear the snicker in his voice. She's been after him for months to call her Ana, but he sticks with Ms. Steele for the most part.

When we get back to Escala, I take Ana on a quick tour of the apartment having learned that Taylor only showed her a few main areas when she stayed the weekend here. She absolutely falls in love with the library the moment I open the door. I make a mental note to have Taylor arrange for a large, comfortable chair to be moved into the room so she can have a place to read. I can see her eyes trying to focus on the titles of the books, trying to figure out what to read first.

"I need to get some work done tonight, but I needed to talk to you for a moment," we head back into what is now her bedroom.

"I know I told you that I have nightmares, but I need you to know that they can get loud and sometimes very rough at times. It's very likely you will be able to hear them from your room-"

"Christian-"

"I just need you to know that you cannot wake me up when I have a nightmare. I don't want to you to come into my room and try to wake me up. Taylor tried once and it resulted in him having a black eye and a split lip. I can't….I'm not myself when I have a nightmare. I can't have you in there. I can't….I don't want to hurt you."

"Nothing helps keep the nightmares away?"

"No. I have a great therapist but nothing really helps. I would never forgive myself if I accidently hurt you Ana."

"I understand Christian. Thank you for letting me know."

"I…I need to get some work done. Your boxes are next door, but you should find a fully stocked closet behind that door-"

"Wait! What?"

I chuckle and close the door behind me as I hear Ana walk across the room towards the closet. I knew she would try to tell me she didn't need all the clothes in the closet the moment she opened the door, so I figured it would be best if I left before she had the chance to say anything. I had arranged for the personal shopper that my mother and Mia uses to have a complete wardrobe delivered for Ana while we were gliding this morning.

 _Author's Note 2: This will likely be the last update on this story for the week; the next update should be early next week. For those in the US: Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. To everyone residing outside the US: have a great weekend! Thank you all for your continued support with this story!_


	37. Chapter 36

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 36 APOV:**

"No! Please…don't hurt me….I'm sorry!" A voice screaming pulls me from my deep sleep. I quickly run out of my room, following the sound of the screaming which seems to becoming from downstairs. As I approach the bottom of the steps I realize the screaming is coming from Christian's bedroom. I immediately rush to his door and try to open it but the door is locked; I recall the conversation we had the other night when he cautioned me not to try to wake him from a nightmare. I can't just stand here and listen to it though; I need to do something.

"Christian? Christian?" I knock on the door and call out to him.

"I'll be a good boy I promise….please….Ow! Ow! Hot! HOT! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Mommy….Mommy….help me please."

My heart is breaking as I hear Christian's nightmare; I slide down the wall and sit outside his door. I don't know what to do but I don't feel right going back to my room while he is in so much pain. I wish I knew where the keys were to his room; I wish he could hear me calling his name from the door.

"No! Please….don't hit me! Not the belt! I'm a good boy! I promise! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I….good….boy."

I don't know how long the nightmare lasts, but I stay outside Christian's door, sitting on the floor trying to come up with some idea to wake him up. Eventually the screaming stops and it turns to sobbing at which point I can't stop the tears from my own eyes from falling. I don't know much about Christian's childhood before he was adopted by the Grey's; his speech at the awards dinner the night he became sick hinted at his childhood but we never discussed it. After hearing the nightmare tonight, I realize how little I really know about Christian's past. I can only assume the nightmare has something to do with the reason he won't let me touch his back or chest.

"Fuck!" I hear Christian mumble and I immediately run back up to my bedroom. I don't want Christian to know that I was sitting outside his door or that I heard his nightmare. I saw how hard it was when Christian first told me he suffered from nightmares; I don't want to make things uncomfortable between us by asking about them. A few minutes after I return to my room, I hear Christian playing the piano in the greet room downstairs. The song is sad, almost depressing; I can't help but wonder if Christian is pouring his nightmare into the song. I lay in bed listening to him play the piano; I'm tempted to go downstairs and offer him comfort but I don't know how I would do that or if he would even want to see me right now. I fall asleep listening to Christian's sad song, waking up a couple of hours later to the bright sun coming through the windows in my room.

"You're up early," Christian says as I enter the kitchen after washing up and changing out of my pajams.

"So are you," I smile.

"I have work this morning, what's your excuse?"

"I'm a morning person by nature. Actually, sleeping until six is late for me; when I worked at the bakery I was up by four or sometimes even earlier."

"You'll get back there you know. Once the press dies down after our wedding is announced, you'll be able to return to the bakery. If you want to-"

"I do. I hope you're right. Ginny said she would hold my job, but I don't know if she thought it would be this long. I don't know how the new owners will feel about holding my job."

"Have you talked to Ginny?"

"A few days ago I called her to see how everything was going."

"And?"

"She said, for now the new owners have decided to leave everything as is. They apparently hired her to manage the place for at least the first year to ensure the transition is smooth I guess."

"Is she okay with that? I know you said she wanted to move to be closer to her daughter right?"

"She said they are giving her a good amount of paid time off so she doesn't mind working. She had assumed it would take a year or two before she found a buyer for the bakery so I guess she had planned to keep working at least for now."

"Good, then it sounds like you have nothing to worry about. In a few weeks, the press will realize there is nothing more to write about and will start to leave us alone. Things will get crazy once our marriage is announced which is why I'm having the PR department time it so we are out of the country-"

"We're leaving the country?!" This is the first clue I have received on the location of our honeymoon.

"Yes," he chuckles. "But that's all I'm saying about where we are going."

"No other hints?"

"No."

"Good morning Ms. Steele, what would you like for breakfast?" Gail asks walking into the kitchen.

"Whatever you have made is fine," I'm finding it very difficult to get used to the idea that someone is here to cook for me.

"Mr. Grey is having an egg white omelet, would you like that or something else?"

"That's fine, thank you Gail."

"What are you plans for today?" Christian asks.

"Your mom and Mia are coming over; the wedding planner has arranged for gowns to be brought over today from a local shop she has worked with in the past."

"Oh good. And you're okay with my mom and Mia being here for it? I wasn't sure-"

"I'm more than okay with it. It'll be nice to have a second opinion on the dresses anyway."

"Ana….is there anyone you want to invite to the wedding? I can arrange flights for them; money isn't-"

"No, there isn't anyone."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind-"

"Christian, I don't have anyone I would consider inviting to my wedding. Even if this wasn't," I glance at Gail not really sure how much I can say in front of her. "so sudden, there isn't anyone I would want to have there with us. I don't have anyone I consider my family Christian."

"If….okay," he's clearly surprised by honesty but I needed to say it.

"Sir, ma'am, your breakfast," Gail has perfect timing, breaking the awkward moment between us as she sets plates in front of us.

"Thank you Gail," I say just as she leaves the kitchen.

"The wedding plans are coming along then?" Christian asks as we eat.

"I think so. After today, I should have a dress picked out which will probably take a few days for the alterations to be done. I picked out some simple flowers from pictures she sent me yesterday. There's so many small details I hadn't realized that I would need to decide on."

"Like what?"

"What color runner is on the sand, what the setup of chairs look like, whether or not we have wedding favors, what type of appetizers to have….the list is just endless."

"You don't need to decide all of that Ana. Just tell her to use her discretion; these people plan weddings on a daily basis, I'm sure she can put a package together for us to review."

"You think?" I hadn't thought about that, but it would definitely take some of the pressure off of me.

"Absolutely. Have her send you something tomorrow and when I get home from work we can review it all."

"Thank you, I'll call her today."

"I need to get going. I'll see you tonight," he kisses me on the cheek before heading towards his office.

I place our plates in the sink before heading to the library to get lost in a book before Mia, Grace and all the dresses arrive. I am surprised when I walk into the library and see an oversized chair sitting near the large window that wasn't there the other night when Christian showed me the library. As soon as I find a book, I head over to the chair finding it just as comfortable as it looked. It's one of those chairs that is large enough for you to get really comfortable in without being cramped. After a couple of hours of reading I realize I need to get ready for the rest of my day. I'm once again surprised when I walk into my room to find two small boxes on my bed.

"What?"

Opening the larger box first, I find a brand new laptop; the small box contains a brand new iphone which puts my cheap smart phone to shame. I open the card that was on top of the boxes last:

 _Ana,_

 _Thought this might help you with the wedding planning. Your phone number has been transferred to this phone. A few important numbers have already been programed in it for you. Both are connected to the wifi in the apartment for your convenience as well._

 _Take care,_

 _Christian_

I can't believe he gave me a laptop and a phone! I admit looking at the pictures yesterday on my phone was challenging but it worked perfectly fine. I certainly did not need a brand new phone or a laptop! Part of me is touched the Christian would think I might find these items helpful, but the other part of me doesn't like that Christian continues to buy me things. When I moved in here the other day, I found the walk in closet of my bedroom filled with more clothes than I could possibly ever need. Not just dresses and gowns for when we go out together, but jeans, sweaters, pajamas and even undergarments. I don't think I want to know how the personal shopper was able to determine the perfect bra size based on a picture of me that the press had taken.

 _Thank you for the phone and laptop but I cannot accept them –A_

 _Is something wrong with them? Do you prefer a different brand or model? –C_

 _There's nothing wrong with them. The brand is fine –A_

 _I'm not sure I understand what the issue is. –C_

 _I don't need them –A_

 _The laptop will help you with the wedding planning right? It will make it easier for you plan all the details of the wedding. –C_

 _Yes but –A_

 _The phone, that's more about your safety than anything. This phone is the latest model which means that it has all the top security features already installed. Additionally, it is linked to GEH's account which means the phone cannot be easily hacked. My IT department installed several firewalls on both the computer and the phone to prevent anyone from gaining access to your emails, pictures or any documents you have saved on there. Your old phone was not capable of sustaining these firewalls. –C_

 _I suppose that makes sense –A_

 _The laptop was just to make things easier for you. I saw you trying to look at things on your phone last night and thought it would be easier to see all the information and details if the screen was bigger. –C_

 _You're right –A_

 _You okay now? –C_

 _I'm good. –A_

 _I have to get back to my meeting. Roz is giving me mean looks because I'm not paying attention –C_

 _I'm sorry! You shouldn't have responded if you were busy –A_

 _The meeting is boring anyway. I'd rather be talking to you than listening to this presentation –C_

 _I'll see you tonight. Stop texting me –A_

 _Have fun dress shopping –C_

I smile at our text exchange and while I still don't feel comfortable accepting the laptop and the phone at least now I understand the reason behind it. When this arrangement has ended, I vow to leave the laptop, phone and all the clothes that Christian purchased for me behind. The prenup arrangement that Christian drew up was clear, in exchange for marrying him I will walk away with the condo downstairs and hopefully a college degree. I don't feel right accepting other things from him; it makes me feel like I'm using him for his money or something. In a weird way it makes me feel no better than Christian's ex; while I'm not trying write a tell all book about Christian like she was, the truth is she was only with him because of his money. I never want Christian to think he needs to buy me things because of this arrangement. I suppose in some ways that's what made the arrangement with Elena work; he was required only to pay for certain expenses now it feels like….I don't know maybe he feels like he has to buy me things?

"Ana?" Sawyer knocks on my door pulling me from my thoughts.

"Hi Sawyer," I open the door to greet him.

"Mrs. Grey and Ms. Grey are on their way up," he announces.

"Thank you."

I quickly head down to the great room; by the time I reach the bottom of the steps Mia and Grace are exiting the elevator with a long rack of dresses with them and another woman I don't recognize. I'm introduced to the woman who I learn owns a very exclusive bridal shop in Seattle; she has brought at least a dozen or so dresses for me to try on. After going through several, I only decide to try on a couple. All of the dresses are beautiful, but some of them just don't look like they would work well for a small private wedding. Maybe if it were a larger wedding but for something this small I wanted something simple.

"Good Afternoon," Gail joins us as we are looking through the dresses. "I have some refreshments that I will set up over here. If you would like something else please let me know."

"Thank you Gail."

"So are you ready to try on a dress Ana?" Mia asks. I'm convinced she is more excited than I am.

"I think I'll try on this one first," I pull the first dress that initially caught my eye when we were looking at them. "I'll take it upstairs-"

"Why don't you change in bedroom down here Ana? I'm sure it will be easier than going back and forth upstairs," Grace suggests.

"Um, sure, I'll be right back," I quickly grab the dress and head towards Christian's bedroom which thankfully is unlocked.

I close the door behind me and lay the dress on Christian's bed. I feel odd being in here without Christian being home or even knowing that I'm in his room. It sort of feels like I'm invading his privacy by being in here, but Grace had a good point that it would be easier to change in here than go back and forth to my bedroom.

 _How's it going? –C_

 _Trying on the first dress now –A_

 _Found a couple you like? –C_

 _I think so. Hope you don't mind, your mom suggested I try the dresses on in your room rather than going up and down the stairs to change. I'll be in and out quickly –A_

 _It's fine Ana. Take your time –C_

 _Thanks –A_

 _See you tonight –C_

I have to admit, I'm enjoying texting with Christian which is something we weren't able to do with our previous arrangement. Christian did eventually text me while we were still under contract with Elena but it took him awhile to do that since he didn't have my number. I quickly take off my clothes and slip into the dress that I had chosen. As soon as I put it on, I realize there is no need to try on the other dresses; this dress is absolutely perfect. The dress has thick spaghetti straps holding it up; the front drops just enough to show a very small amount of cleavage while the back is open to about the center of my back. There are small stones sewn into the shoulder straps and on the bottom of the dress which adds just enough sparkle in the light. The dress is fitted to my waist and then loosens up slightly but not to the amount of your typical wedding dress. There's no need for a big slip or anything under this dress. Glancing at Christian's mirror in the bathroom, my decision is finalized that this is the dress I will wear.

"Oh Ana," Grace gasps when I walk back into the great room.

"You look so pretty!" Mia exclaims.

"Thank you!" I'm so glad they think so highly of this dress.

"We have a few others to try on yet-" The shop owner begins to pull another dress from the rack.

"I don't think that will be necessary. This is the dress that I would like for the wedding," I interrupt.

"Perfect! I wish all brides decided as quickly as you did! Now, we need to talk about your shoes so I know how much to hem from the dress."

"Actually, I won't be wearing any for the ceremony itself."

"None?"

"No, the wedding is on the beach, so I'm going to walk down the aisle bear foot."

"How romantic!" Grace gushes in the background.

"And for the reception?"

"Flats….probably ballet type flats. Definitely no heels," I answer.

"Perfect, other than hemming it a little I don't see the need for any other alterations."

Mia, Grace and I chat long after the shop owner leaves with the dresses. Using my new laptop, I show them the pictures of the flowers that the wedding planner sent me yesterday. They both seem to like the flowers which are simple, yet colorful. It was nice to have someone to share the ideas with and to get someone else's opinion on things for the wedding. I haven't wanted to bother Christian with the small details considering how busy he has been with GEH.

The several days go by slowly; Christian works late most nights, then comes home for dinner and works again until long after I've gone to bed. I've come to enjoy our breakfasts together; it seems to be the only time of the day that he isn't distracted by incoming emails on his phone or reviewing files for meetings the next day. Our wedding plans are coming together quickly; I took Christian's advice and gave the wedding planner the suggestion to present full options to us rather than each individual option for every item. It worked well and after reviewing the choices with Christian, we both agreed to a menu, bar option and ceremony set up.

My days are filled with finalizing wedding plans and getting lost in book after book in Christian's library. I spend some time in the pool during the day as well; it's very rarely used except for maybe one or two other people. I have learned after five o'clock the pool is the busiest, so I tend to avoid it during those times and stick to the daytime. By some stroke of luck, I haven't had a nightmare since I moved into Christian's apartment. My nightmares aren't regular; sometimes I go weeks without one and then there will be weeks when I have several. There never seems to be a reason to the pattern, but right now I'm thankful that I'm not having them. I wish I could say the same about Christian; he seems to have them almost every single night. Each night, I sneak downstairs and sit outside his bedroom door until the nightmare ends. Of course I knock on the door and try to call his name, but it never works. Once the nightmare ends, most nights I hear the piano playing in a short time later.

 _Author's Note: I know it's incredibly short especially compared to my last chapter, but this was a good place to stop I think. I know I said I wouldn't get another chapter out until early next week, but this one came together much faster than expected._


	38. Chapter 37

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: I hope everyone in the US enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving and for those outside the US, had a wonderful weekend. I have to tell you this chapter haunted me all weekend! It kept calling me to write it, unfortunately with 3 youngsters running around, holiday dinner and the start of holiday shopping I just did not have time!_

 **Chpt. 37 CPOV:**

The last two weeks living with Ana have flown by; the adjustment to living with a woman was much easier than I expected. The first couple of days I couldn't help but feel nervous leaving Ana at Escala when I went to work. It had nothing to do with Ana and everything to do with what happened when I had left _her_ in my apartment. Each day though I came home and nothing was disturbed in my office or in my bedroom even on the day she tried on wedding dresses in there. Living with Ana herself hasn't been much of an adjustment at all; we have breakfast together and occasionally dinner but for the most part I don't see her otherwise. Last weekend we went out for dinner and of course we were photographed as soon as we left the restaurant. The press continues to publish articles about me although they seem to range from the standard "when are they going to break up" to the "why is she staying with him." None of the articles seem to hit at our upcoming marriage which leads me to believe that the NDAs that I had all the vendors sign were effective.

"Mr. Grey?" Andrea's voice grabs my attention.

"Yes Andrea?"

"Roz is here to see you sir."

"Send her in please."

"Mr. Grey?"

"Yes Andrea?"

"The other Mr. Grey is also here requesting to see you."

"Let him know that I will meet with him after I am finished with Roz."

"He is requesting to meet with you and Roz together sir."

"Very well, send them both in."

My brother very rarely ever shows up to GEH unannounced so the fact that he is here right now has my interested peeked. I became even more interested once Andrea said that he wanted to meet with me and Roz. I can only assume he has a business proposition he wants to discuss although rarely would he request Roz be in attendance for that discussion.

"Hey bro!" Elliot practically bounces into my office.

"Elliot, this is a surprise," I shake his hand and gesture for him to sit down.

"Grey," Roz nods and sits next to Elliot. One shared look between them has me wondering what the true reason is that they are both sitting in my office. Roz and Elliot get along very well, almost too well, since they are so much alike. One look at them confirms that they have conspired together for something….I just don't know what it is.

"What did you two do?" I can't help but ask when neither of them start the conversation first.

"Nothing," Elliot answers quickly.

"We're breaking you out of Grey," Roz states simply as if those few words explain everything.

"Excuse me?"

"We're taking you out to celebrate your last taste of freedom," Elliot explains. "Since you refused to let me throw you a bachelor party, we're going to a bar to have some fun."

"Elliot, I can't just leave-"

"Andrea has cleared your schedule Grey, so actually you can just leave," Roz interrupts. "Never did I think I would see the day when Christian Grey gets married. You have two days left of freedom, and Elliot and I plan to help you at least enjoy today."

"No strip clubs," I warn.

"I know, I know," Elliot rolls his eyes at the reminder.

"We will be going to your club for the night," Roz explains. "We figured it was the only way you would agree to come with us. Elliot wanted to kidnap you and drag you to club down the road, but I quickly squashed that idea. Although I have to tell you, the idea of watching a bunch of half-naked women dance around on stage for a few hours was a hard one to refuse."

"I still think we could have gotten him there," Elliot winks at Roz knowingly.

"No you couldn't have," I say firmly.

"Whatever bro, listen Mia is on her way to your apartment to get Ana ready-"

"Ana?"

"When Mia heard that we were planning on taking you out, she insisted that she had to take Ana out as well. Unfortunately Taylor didn't like the idea of you both going to different places; something about it would be a security nightmare."

"It would."

"We settled on reserving the VIP section of Mile High for tonight with Ana and Mia meeting us there. Taylor arranged security for the evening including getting the girls there," Elliot explains.

"Probably the only bachelor party in history where the bride to be and the groom's sister is present," Roz grumbles.

"Can it Roz, you're just mad that you won't get to see a bunch of naked women tonight," I chuckle.

"True."

"Tomorrow night Roz," Elliot winks.

"What's tomorrow night?" I ask.

"Since you are flying to California, Roz and I are having a bachelor party without you."

"Is that really a bachelor party without a groom to be?"

"Probably not, but there will be a bunch of hot women there!"

"What does Gwen have to say about all of this?"

"She's hitting the bank tomorrow morning to get the singles."

"Just don't be late for my wedding on Saturday. I'm not waiting because you two were too hung over to get on the plane."

"No worries bro," Elliot laughs.

"And no strippers are being brought to the wedding," I warn.

"Yeah yeah yeah. One time I bring one to a wedding and that's all he remembers."

"When are we leaving?"

"Um, now of course. Here's some clothes to change into; we don't need you looking like a stiff all night," Elliot tosses me a bag with jeans and a shirt from my closet.

"We'll be back in ten for you Grey," Roz and Elliot leave my office whispering back and forth about something.

 _Mia just arrived. She says we're meeting you? –A_

 _Roz and Elliot just informed me of our plans for tonight. Are you okay with this? –C_

 _I don't mind. Do you need me to bring you anything from here? –A_

 _No, apparently they had Gail already grab me a change of clothes. –C_

 _Mia showed up with a bunch of clothes for me to wear tonight too –A_

 _Guess they really planned this out –C_

 _Sounds like it. –A_

 _I am told that Taylor has arranged security –C_

 _Yes, Sawyer and Rennolds will be with us tonight –A_

 _Good, stay close to them. The club shouldn't be too busy when you arrive –C_

 _I will. See you soon –A_

After quickly changing into the clothes that Elliot tossed at me, I send a few emails and check my calendar to ensure that Andrea had rescheduled the call I had later today. It's already after five, so I'm not technically leaving work early, but I rarely ever leave the office before six-thirty unless I have a meeting scheduled off site. I am off the next ten days so I had planned to work later than normal tonight to ensure everything was wrapped up before leaving for California tomorrow morning. Other than Roz, Welch and Barney, most of the staff at GEH believe that I'm leaving tomorrow for a vacation; something that I haven't done in years. Whatever I didn't get to finish this evening will fall on Roz when I'm away, which I suppose will be punishment enough for her for dragging me out of the office today.

"Let's go bro! Are you ready?" Elliot barges in with Andrea quick on his feet telling him he shouldn't be walking into my office.

"Its fine Andrea," I assure her.

"Let's go! I'm starving!"

"Alright alright Elliot. Shouldn't you be working today?"

"You'll be happy to know I finished my job early this week and the next project doesn't start until Monday."

"Sir?" Taylor appears at my doorway a few minutes later.

"Let's go Taylor," I confirm and I see a hint of surprise in his eyes before he quickly hides it. Roz is ready and waiting for us at the elevators. I quickly let Andrea where everything stands on the projects I was working on, promising to email her tomorrow morning with anything I forgot. The ride to the Mile High Club is short; it's only a few blocks from GEH which makes it convenient for business meetings and happy hours for the local businesses in the area. During the day the Mile High Club offers fine dining and catering for meetings, but by night it turns into a very popular nightclub. Thursday through Saturday nights are most popular for the club; tonight there will be a live band playing music and the happy hours tend to start early and continue right through the night. Thankfully Taylor has planned ahead and reserved a large table in the VIP section of the restaurant. The area is set further back from the dance floor but has a dedicated wait staff so you are never waiting long for food or drink refills. The VIP section is roped off from the rest of the club; security members ensure that anyone not on the proscribed list doesn't enter the area. This area has been useful for celebrating business deals and even on a rare occasion for a celebrity who is in town and wants a night out. When we arrive the tables are already filled, with the exception of the largest table which has been reserved for us. Elliot takes it upon himself to order a few bottles of wine, beer and a buffet of appetizers.

"Told you I was starving Bro!" Elliot exclaims when I shake my head at him.

"Damn Grey!" Roz whistles embarrassingly loudly a few minutes later.

"Roz!" I glare at her but she doesn't respond. Her eyes are glued to entrance to the VIP area. It only takes me a second to realize why she reacted the way she did. Slowly walking towards our table is Ana….looking hotter than I think I have ever seen her. My jaw nearly hits the floor as I take her in; she is wearing a tight, short black dress that accentuates every curve of her body. Thin straps appear to be the only thing holding the dress up. A thin strip of lace lines the bottom of the dress, which falls just to the middle of her thigh.

"Close your mouth bro," Elliot chuckles at me.

I manage to stop myself from staring at her just as she arrives at our table. Remembering my manners, I quickly stand to greet her and kiss her lightly on the lips while wrapping my arm around her waist. She says hello to everyone before sitting next to me at the table. Mia joins us a few minutes later, having stopped to chat with some people at another table.

"I'd like to make a toast," Roz says once everyone is seated. A waitress appears out of nowhere, pouring pink champagne in everyone's glasses. "I told Christian earlier today I never thought I would see the day he would be about to take off for his wedding. I've known Christian a long time and I've never seen him happier than he has been in the last few months. You've made him happy Ana and for that the staff at GEH thanks you immensely as you have inadvertently made our jobs easier. I haven't known you for very long Ana, but you must be doing something right if you can manage to make this man happy. If he ever gives you a problem, you call me. I've known him and Elliot for so long, I have plenty of dirt I can share with you so you can use it against Christian-"

"Hey! What did I do?" Elliot interrupts.

"I'm sure you'll do something to piss Ana off at some point in the very near future," Roz laughs.

"I would never!"

"I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together. And just know Grey, that if you fuck things up with this beautiful girl here, I can make your life a living hell. Got it?" she threatens.

"Loud and clear Roz," I chuckle.

"Thank you Roz," Ana says quietly and I feel her hand squeeze mine under the table. I have no doubt she is worried about what happens when our marriage is dissolved, but I refuse to focus on that. Right now this arrangement is the perfect solution to my issue with the press; anything that happens because of the divorce will be dealt with when it happens.

"Stop worrying, I can make Roz's life a living hell too," I lean in close to Ana and joke with her so no one at the table can hear us. She smiles and giggles softly before turning her attention to Mia who is asking her about wedding details.

I'm surprised that I end up having fun out with Elliot, Mia, Roz and Ana; I typically try to avoid spending much time in the nighclub portion of the Mile High Club but tonight it doesn't bother me at all. We enjoy a great meal, many drinks and chat easily throughout the night. Once again, Ana seems to fit right in with everyone, easily jumping in to conversations. It amazes me how different this dinner would have looked three years ago. _She_ would have sat at the table, ignoring everyone, constantly asking me when we would be leaving unless one of her friends had been invited to join us. Tonight, Ana is sitting here, easily talking with everyone and doesn't seem to be interested in leaving anytime soon.

"We should do shots!" Mia exclaims.

"I'm game," I agree. With Taylor, Sawyer and Rennolds all here tonight I know we have more than enough designated drivers to go around.

"I've never done a shot, but I'll try one," Ana says.

"What?"

"How have you never done a shot?"

"How is that possible?"

Everyone is clearly as surprised as I am to learn that Ana has never had a shot before. She had mentioned that she has only been drunk once but I assumed she had at least experimented with alcohol especially since she went to college.

"Sorry guys," she blushes this adorable shade of red when she realizes all the attention is on her. "I've had beer, wine and mixed drinks of course but never had a shot."

"We'll just have to fix that right now," I signal for the waitress to bring us over a bottle of liquor and several shot glasses.

"To Ana and Christian!" Elliot raises his shot glass and everyone mimics him before gulping down his shot.

"Take it all at once, real quick," I whisper to Ana who is sort of eye balling the shot glass full of liquid in her hand. I tap my shot glass to hers, she takes a deep breath and with her eyes never leaving mine she gulps down the shot in one swift move. She grimaces a little, but quickly smiles as she puts the glass down.

"That wasn't so bad," she says.

"Let's do another!" Roz announces.

A couple of shots later, we're watching Ana and Mia on the dance floor. I can tell Ana is starting to feel the effects of the shots she has had tonight; it seems when she drinks she tends to relax more. She seems to have let her guard down a little or maybe she is less focused on impressing everyone at the table and more focused on just having a good time. Whatever it is, I like this side of Ana. I can barely see the dance the floor from where we are sitting but I know that Sawyer and Taylor are watching Ana and Mia.

"I think I'm going to go check on the girls," I have a sudden urge to see Ana even though I know Taylor and Sawyer won't let anything happen to her.

"You just don't want to keep your hands off her any longer," Roz chuckles clearly also feeling the effects from her many drinks tonight.

I shake my head but don't necessarily refute what she said; if we were just two people, here at the club, I would be all over her. If it wasn't for the fear of screwing things up between us I would be all over Ana. If I thought I could just fuck her for one night, I would take her to a hotel nearby for the night. If only I could be what she needed….

"Get the fuck off of me!" Ana's voice pulls me from my thoughts. I run to the dance floor where I find a young guy on his knees and Sawyer standing between the guy and Ana. Taylor is talking to Ana, who looks like she is fuming.

"What the fuck happened?" I ask.

"He grabbed my ass!" Mia nods towards the man on the floor.

"She kicked me in the nuts," the man glares at Ana.

"You're the reason he's on the ground?" I ask astonished.

"You got what you deserved. Next time keep your hands to yourself. She told you she wasn't interested," Ana shrugs.

"Sawyer get him out of here and make sure he is never permitted to enter my club again," I state.

"You can't-" the man growls.

"Actually as the owner of this club, I can and just did. Now, unless you want to get yourself banned from every other nightclub in Seattle I suggest you quietly get the fuck out of my club!"

"You own this club?" Ana asks.

"Of course he does. You didn't know that?" Mia asks.

"He….he said he owned a club I hadn't realized it was this club," Ana lies.

"Are you girls okay?" I ask.

"We're fine. Ana saved the day," Mia giggles. "I'm going to get us another shot. Don't go anywhere!"

"You okay?" I lean to Ana so she can hear me over the music. I'm fucking proud of her for defending Mia, but at the same time I'm fucking pissed that she had to in the first place.

"I'm fine. Hopefully the guy will think twice before trying to feel up a woman after she tells him she's not interested."

"Do you want to go back to the table?"

"No, I want to dance. I'm not going to let him ruin my night."

"Okay, if you're sure."

"Will you dance with me?"

"Of course."

Mia returns with three shots; we all slam them back quickly before the next song comes on. Ana and I start dancing; I try to stay a safe distance from her, not wanting to be close to her. When the dance floor becomes more crowded though that becomes impossible. We're about a foot apart from each other, when Ana takes a step back to let someone pass by us. I place my hands firmly on her hips, holding her to ensure she doesn't lose her balance as someone squeezes between her and the girl in front of us. Ana barely seems to notice and continues to dance to the beat of the song; her eyes close as she seems to lose herself in the music. When she wraps her arms around my neck and rests her head on my shoulder, I nearly lose it. Her firm ass is practically grinding against my dick; whether this is on purpose or only because of the music I have no idea but I do know it's driving me crazy. The more she moves against me, the harder I become. I can easily say what happened next was to keep up the appearance of our relationship, but the reality is that's not true. Having Ana's body so close to mine, moving against mine, made it impossible to think about anything else. All I could think of was taking her home and getting her beneath me. Screw the arrangement; screw the risk of complicating things between us. Screw the thought that one night with me wouldn't have her running from me forever. All I knew was that I wanted her.

Unsure if I was the only one feeling this way, I softly kissed Ana's neck; when she tilted her neck to give me better access I knew that she was feeling the same way. I kissed, licked and nibbled at her neck; she moaned and even pushed herself harder against my dick. Only a small portion of my brain alerted me to the fact that we were on the middle of a dance floor practically making out. My hands roamed the sides of her body as my lips tease her neck.

"Okay you love birds. I need to go home," Mia screams at us.

I can feel the heat rush to Ana's face as she probably becomes embarrassed in the realization that we were just making out on the middle of the dance floor. When she tries to take a step away from me, I wrap an arm around her stomach anchoring her to me. Not only do I not want to let her go, but if she were to take a few steps from me the entire dance floor would know how Ana's body dancing against me made me feel.

"Rennolds will take you home," I nod towards Taylor who is watching us from the permiter of the dance floor.

"I'll see you two Saturday! Thanks for letting us have some fun tonight Christian!" Mia walks off the dance floor heading towards Taylor and Sawyer.

"Do you want to head home?" I ask.

"If you're ready to," she agrees.

"Just give me another minute, I'm not sure I can walk just yet," I request.

"What? Oh," she blushes again in the realization of my words.

A few minutes later we are in SUV that Sawyer had gotten from the valet and are heading back to Escala. The ride is quiet, but there's no denying the sexual tension between us. I have a feeling that if Taylor and Sawyer weren't in the car with us Ana and I would be acting very differently. When we finally reach Escala, it takes everything in me not to pull Ana against me when Taylor and Sawyer finally exit the SUV. Obviously sensing our need for privacy, Taylor says that he will be taking the service elevator up and disappears as the elevator doors close.

"I don't think I told you how amazing you look tonight," I grab Ana's hand and gently pull her towards me.

"Really? It's really not my style, but Mia insisted it looked good on me."

"Good? Fuck Ana, you look amazing in this."

"Thanks," her voice is barely above a whisper which shreds the last bit of reason I have. Without giving it a second thought, I wrap my arm around her waist and capture her mouth in mine. She gasps in surprise, which I take advantage of my slipping my tongue into her mouth. She moans, her body softening against mine as her hands grips my arms tightly. Whether the alcohol has given her courage or she loses her own internal battle, when her soft tongue finds mine I groan loudly as the desire to have her becomes too much. I have no doubt that with her body pressed against me right now she can feel just how much I want her.

When the elevator dings, I guide us into the foyer, never taking my lips off of hers. All I can think about is getting her beneath me. I pause in the foyer, unsure of where to take her. Do I take her to my bedroom, where no woman has been in bed with me? Do I take her upstairs where we first slept together that night after I learned she too had nightmares? When she sucks on my bottom lip, I know I'm done. I press her body against the wall, desperately needing to feel her against me even more than she already is. My hands roam her body, feeling every curve through the tight, short dress she is wearing. When I find her bare thigh, I slowly move my fingers upwards, gently pushing the hem of the dress up as I go. When her hands move to the buttons on my shirt, I realize for the first time that her hands aren't restrained. I quickly grasp her wrists and pull them above her head; I hold them in one hand and move my other hand back to her soft leg. Within seconds Ana's body becomes stiff, she starts squirming against me but not in a sensual way. When I pull my lips from her, her eyes are filled with absolute fear. She pulls her hands free from my grip and shrinks to the floor. She wraps her arms around her knees and starts rocking back and forth very slowly. Her eyes are tightly closed.

"Ana? Baby? What happened?" I kneel down next to her but she doesn't respond. "Ana? Please, tell me what just happened…."

She flinches when my hand barely touches hers and I immediately pull back from her. I have no idea what to do. I try talking to her, reminding her that she is safe here and that no one will hurt her every again. I don't know how long we sit on the cool tile floor of the foyer, but eventually Ana stops rocking back and forth although she doesn't really acknowledge that I'm next to her or talking to her. At some point I realize that Ana must have fallen asleep or passed out because her breathing has finally become more steady and her body is more relaxed. While I'm glad that whatever she was reliving has stopped, I'm still left with Ana sleeping on the floor of my foyer. Knowing that I can't leave her here, I test the waters by placing my hand on hers. She doesn't flinch like she did earlier, but her body stiffens just slightly.

"Ana baby, if you can hear me I'm going to pick you up now. I'm just going to put you to bed; I'm not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you ever again," I whisper and slowly slip my arm under her legs and the other around her back. I wait for a response, for any indication that I'm making things worse by touching her right now. Thankfully she doesn't give me any. I easily lift her off the foyer floor, her body is tense but as I walk she presses herself into my chest. I don't give it a second thought; I take her to my bedroom. I tell myself it's because my bedroom is closer to the foyer and that it's not because I don't want to leave her alone tonight. Kicking open my door, I lay her in the center of my bed. I slip her heels off before grabbing a t shirt from my closet for her to sleep in.

"Ana? I'm going to take your dress off now and put a shirt on you to sleep in. If you're not okay with this please tell me," I beg her not wanting to risk hurting her more than I already have tonight. She doesn't move; I don't think she even hears me right now. I sigh heavily; I wanted Ana in my bed, especially after the way her body moved against mine on the dance floor tonight, but I didn't want her like this. I straddle Ana's legs, careful not to put any weight on her and slowly pull the dress up her body. It takes everything in me not to look at what she is wearing beneath her dress. I focus on the task at hand, getting this dress off of her and getting my shirt on her quickly. Undressing and redressing an unconscious woman is definitely a lot harder than I ever expected it to be, but a few minutes later she is wearing my Yale t shirt. I place a gentle kiss on her cheek before climbing off the bed and covering her with a blanket. I use the attached bathroom to wash up and change my clothes. When I return to my bedroom and see Ana lying in my bed, the thought of sleeping in another room is gone. I slip into my bed and quickly fall asleep with Ana's warm body close to mine. I want so bad to pull her close to me, just so I can feel her against me again but I'm petrified of hurting her more than I already did.


	39. Chapter 38

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: This chapter contains trigger warnings; topics discussed in this chapter have not been previously discussed in this story therefore they maybe a trigger whereas until now this story has not been a trigger for some. Please read with caution if you suspect these scenes may bother you. If you are unsure and would like to know the general topic of the scene, please send me a PM and I will give you a brief, cleaned up version of what the scene includes. A warning will be provided in bold before and after the sections that I think could cause a trigger._

 **Chpt. 38 APOV:**

 ** _** Trigger Warning **_**

 _I feel heavy; I can't breathe. It hurts to breathe; I try to open my mouth but I can't, something is holding my mouth shut. I open my eyes and try to scream. He is on top of me. Why is he in my room? Where is my mom? Why isn't she here? I try to push him away, but I can't move my hands. He's holding them over my head; he is stronger than me. I scream against his other hand which is over my mouth; I try to kick him but my legs are pinned down by his._

 _"Shut up bitch!" he hisses in my ear. "Your mother can't help you, she's passed out in our bed and there is no fucking waking her."_

 _I move my head back and forth, trying to get his hand off of my mouth. I'm struggling to breathe; he is on my chest, pushing me into the bed. He stinks; he smells like the bar I had to get my mom from the one night. When his leg pushes between mine, I know I need to get him off of me before something happens. I bite down on his hand as hard as I can._

 _"You fucking BITCH!" He screams and slaps me across the face._

 _"HELP! GET OFF OF ME!" I scream as soon as I get a breath in._

 _"Baby….what are you doing?" My mom suddenly appears at the door to my bedroom, which really isn't a door. There's a blanket covering where the door should be; the door was missing when we moved into this shithole and no one has bothered to fix it._

 _"This little bitch just bit me!" he finally let's go of my hands and I immediately move away from him. I shrink into the corner of my bed, curling myself in a ball trying to get away from him._

 _"Come back to bed sweetie, I'll take care of you," she glares at me like I'm in trouble even though I didn't do anything wrong._

 _"She won't be able to protect you all the time," he slips his hand under my ass and squeezes it hard before laughing as he gets out of my bed._

 ** _** End Trigger Warning **_**

I jump out of bed, run to the bathroom before falling to my knees in front of the toilet and throwing up everything in my stomach. I'm so out of it I don't hear Christian come into the bathroom or even have a chance to wonder why he would be in the bathroom with me in the first place. I don't even realize it's Christian who is in here; when I feel a man's hand on my back I jump and instinctively move closer to the wall.

"Ana? It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you," I hear a kind voice tell me. It takes me a few minutes to work up the nerve to open my eyes; part of fears that I'm going to wake up in the nightmare again.

"Christian?" I whisper when I finally do open my eyes and see him kneeling on the floor next to the toilet.

"I'm going to get you a washcloth and some water okay?" he asks and I nod in response unable to find the right words to say. When I hear him slowly walk away, I lift my head and for the first time I realize I'm not in the bathroom that's attached to my bedroom. I quick glance around the room confirms I'm in Christian's bathroom, which could only mean that I was in his bedroom….that I slept in his bedroom.

"Here you go," he holds out the washcloth and a glass of water, careful not to touch me. "Can I get you anything else?"

I shake my head as I take a small drink of water. The cold water feels good on my sore throat; the washcloth helps my body feel less hot. As my body finally begins to settle down, reality creeps back up on me. I haven't had that nightmare in years; I haven't thought about that night in years. I try to piece together what might have happened last night that triggered the nightmare for me. Something must have triggered my memory; it's the only explanation as to why it would suddenly appear after all these years. I can't think of anything that happened at the club that would have caused it; maybe the guy who tried to come on to Mia? But, things seemed fine after that. I remember dancing with Christian afterwards…

"Are you okay Ana?" Christian's voice pulls me back to reality.

"I….I think so."

"If you give me your hand, I'll help you up," he offers his hand to me to help me off the cold bathroom floor which I cautiously take. "I'll wait in the bedroom, if you want to use the bathroom."

I nod and watch as he walks out of the bathroom. Using a washcloth, I wipe down the toilet, thankful that I was at least able to get everything into the toilet without further embarrassing myself. After I use the toilet and wash my hands I realize I need to do something about my breath which no doubt wreaks of vomit right now. I find some mouth wash on the sink and gargle several gulps of that before spitting it out. There's only one toothbrush in the drawer, which I assume is Christian's, but seeing as there is no other, I use it vowing to buy him a new one. I splash cold water on my face and after spending way too long in the bathroom, I open the door to find Christian pacing his bedroom floor waiting for me.

"Are you okay?" he asks immediately.

"I'm fine, thank you," my voice is much weaker than I intended it to be.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"I had a nightmare."

"I gathered that; but this one seemed different than the one you had before."

"It was."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"Not really," I shrug and sigh heavily. I already bring so much baggage to this arrangement, I hate the idea of Christian knowing even more. What if he decides it's too much and it's not worth keeping our arrangement? What if he decides he would rather have this arrangement with a girl who comes in much less baggage? He already knows I had an abusive ex and that I have no family that I want at my wedding, surely he knows there is more than I haven't told him about my past. What if it becomes too much? This baggage….this is the exact reason I knew I could never date again. It's too much for anyone to deal with, especially for someone that isn't even involved me with for real.

"Does….does it have something to do with what happened last night?"

"What happened last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really. I'm trying to figure out why….why I would have this specific nightmare. I haven't had it in years, but I can't figure out what would have happened last night to trigger it. Did something happen? Is that why I was in your bed? Oh my….did we…..?"

OH GOD! If we had sex I would have remembered right? Tell me I didn't drink so much last night that I can't remember sleeping with Christian. Glancing down I realize I'm wearing a Yale t shirt, one that I've never seen before and that is too big for me. This all but confirms we had sex last night. Admittingly I've wondered what it would be like to have Christian make love to me but….God I had hoped if it did ever happen I would have remembered it! Is it possible to have sex with someone and not remember a thing?

"Ana, Ana!" Christian pulls me from my worrying thoughts. "We didn't."

"We didn't? You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," he chuckles. "We slept in the same bed, but nothing happened. Trust me, I prefer my women to be coherent when I…..when we're together."

"Thank God," I sigh and sit on the edge of the bed. The moment I see Christian's eye widen I realize how awful my words sounded. "Oh….Fuck….Christian I didn't mean-"

"No it's fine-"

"No, I didn't mean it to sound like it would be the worst thing ever if we had….slept together last night. I was….I was worried we had and that I wouldn't be able to remember it."

"So it wouldn't be the end of the world if we sleep together," his eye brows raise as if he is considering the possibility.

"I'm not saying that….I would just hope that if it….if we….that we both would remember it," I can't believe we're actually having this conversation.

"I agree and just so you know Ana, I would never have taken advantage of you last night."

"I'm sorry I thought-"

"No, it's understandable why you would. I'm sure you weren't expecting to wake up in my bed, wearing my shirt with me sleeping next to you."

"Yeah….about that. Can you clue me in as to what happened last night and how I ended up in here?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

I search my memory, trying to pull the bits and pieces of last night to the front of my mind. Unfortunately there is so much still coming through from the nightmare I'm having trouble deciphering between last night and many years ago.

"The elevator….the foyer….we were….kissing," I blush saying the words. We did a lot more than kissing; we were practically making out like two teenagers if I'm remembering correctly.

"We were," he chuckles but seems relieved that I remembered that. "I think I'm the cause of your nightmare."

"You? How could you have caused my nightmare?"

"I….Fuck Ana….there's no easy way to explain this."

"Try, please. Just tell me what happened last night. We got off the elevator…."

"I wanted to….we were both into it…. At least I thought you-"

"I was Christian," I assure him, not wanting him to feel more guilty than he already seems to feel. I don't want him to think that he misread something last night; I may have had a little too much to drink but Christian wasn't acting alone on the dance floor or when we came here last night. Just remembering how it felt to kiss Christian and to have his arms around me, raises my body temperature still this morning. Never did I think that Christian thought of me like that; we've had a few kisses here and there but nothing that comes close to comparing it to last night. The day he took me out gliding, the kiss we shared after that and after he proposed was….amazing but last night it was on a completely different level. When we were dancing together, being with Christian like that just felt so right and….natural. It felt natural to have his arms around my waist, his back pressed to my chest and his lips on my neck. I thought it was just me or that it was just the effects of the alcohol hitting me, but when I felt Christian press against my ass, I knew I wasn't the only one caught up in our dance. I expected it to end there; I expecting Christian to pull back when we arrived back at Escala but the moment we entered the elevator everything heated up between us again.

"I….you went to unbutton my shirt and your fingers brushed against my chest-" Christian pulls me from my heated memories of arriving home last night.

"Oh God, Christian! I'm sorry! I didn't mean….I know you- fuck, I'm sorry."

"I wasn't mad or angry at you Ana; I'm still not. I….I can't…no one can touch my chest or my back. I thought it was best though to move your hands so you couldn't touch my chest or back further-"

"You held my hands," reality and the nightmare are starting to make sense in my head now.

"Yes," he looks ashamed; his eyes are on the floor and he is shaking his head no almost as if he is trying to erase his actions.

"Christian…."

"I'm so sorry Ana. I….I didn't know-"

"Of course you didn't know Christian; you have nothing to apologize for. You didn't do anything wrong-"

"How can you say that?" his eyes finally meet mine and I can see he is angry, but I don't think for a second that his anger is directed at me. "I fucking did that," he gestures towards the bathroom, "to you! I….God Ana, you scared the fucking shit out of me last night. I fucking did that to you!"

"Christian…."

He is back to packing the floor of his bedroom and running his hands through his hair; he doesn't respond when I call his name. I watch him pace back and forth not sure what I should do. I know I need to tell him what happened to tell him why I reacted the way I did, but I'm scared to. I'm scared that if I tell him he is going to decide it's all too much. This whole thing was supposed to be simple, we weren't supposed to get this close. I never thought when Elena approached me that I would develop a friendship with someone she set me up with. I never considered that my past would have any place in the _dates_ Elena would set up. I never expected to meet someone like Christian; I never expected to develop a friendship with him from that contract. I can feel myself almost start to panic when I think of the possibility that Christian might want to cancel our new arrangement once he realizes that I'm too much-

"Ana, if you want to….if I…..if you don't want to live here any longer I will understand," once again his eyes are on the floor.

"Do you….do you want me to move out?" my voice is barely above a whisper; I'm almost afraid to ask the question not knowing what his answer will be.

"Fuck no! Of course I don't want you to leave!" his voice leaves no doubt in my mind that he is being honest. "But after what I did…I….I can understand if you want to leave."

I stand up from the bed and meet him halfway through his next pace; I take his hands in mine and squeeze them. Of all the things to happen the day before our wedding, this was definitely not one of them. I didn't expect Christian to be standing in front of me with so much guilt over something he had no control over.

"I don't want to move out," I say firmly hoping that my words sink in.

"You don't?" I see the surprise in his eyes when he looks up.

"You didn't do anything Christian," when he opens his mouth to disagree I quickly continue without giving him a chance to argue with me. "My reaction last night? That was all me; that wasn't about you. I didn't think you were going to hurt me last night; when you held my hands…it brought back…."

"I get it Ana, I get it," he wraps his hands around my waist and slowly pulls me towards him. He is watching my reaction, I guess he thinks I'm going to push him away or stop him. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me so I can kiss him. The kiss is gentle and soft, but instantly has both of our bodies relaxing. I can feel the tension leave Christian's body as he begins to rub circles on my lower back.

"Will you tell me what happened?" he whispers.

"Will you tell me why I can't touch your chest or your back?" I ask in return.

"I…..yes I will," he sighs.

"Okay," I agree.

"Let's try to get a little more sleep before we….we tell our stories," he suggests.

"I don't know that I can. I usually can't fall back to sleep after a nightmare."

"I know; I can't usually either. But we have a long couple of days ahead of us and it's only four o'clock in the morning. Even if you just lie down you might feel better."

"Okay."

I only have a second to wonder if I should return to my bedroom to try to sleep, not sure what Christian was suggesting, before he leads me back to his bed. In a weird way, I'm sort of relieved that he didn't suggest I go upstairs to my bedroom. I guarantee I wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep if I were up there by myself. When my head hits the soft pillow, I realize how tired I really am. Whether it was from staying out late last night or the nightmare, I'm not sure but surprisingly sleep easily finds me once I close my eyes.

I wake up some time later feeling incredibly hot; it takes me a few seconds to realize the reason I'm so hot is because Christian's arms are wrapped around me and his body is pressed against my back. I quick glance at the clock tells me we've been sleeping for almost six hours now, which surprises me because I can't remember the last time I slept in so late. I'm also surprised that Christian isn't up yet; every morning since I moved in he has been awake early and out for a run with Taylor before breakfast. And then there's the fact that Christian is sleeping in the same bed with me…again. He told me a few weeks ago that he doesn't sleep with women in his bed because of his nightmares yet this is the second time he slept next to me. Last night I kind of understand given the apparent mess I was, but I'm not quite sure what to think about Christian wanting me to sleep in his bed after my nightmare. Regardless of whatever his reason was, I have to admit it feels nice to have Christian's arms around me. I feel safe and protected; neither of which I have felt for a very long time.

"You okay?" Christian asks.

"I didn't realize you were awake," now I have to wonder how long he was lying there watching me.

"I just woke up a few minutes ago," that makes me feel a little better.

"What time do we need to leave today?"

"We need to be at the airport by two; we should arrive in California by three-thirty or four o'clock depending on how quickly we are approved to take off. My parents are meeting us at the airport but everyone else is flying in tomorrow. I have the entire floor of the hotel reserved for the night; we will each have a room, my parents will have one, of course security will have one and then Mia, Elliot and Roz will all have one for tomorrow night."

"You reserved the entire floor of the hotel?"

"It was better for security purposes," I feel him shrug against me as if it were no big deal.

"I should get up."

"Stay, I want to talk about last night."

I nod knowing that we can't avoid this conversation forever. I roll over, so that I'm facing Christian instead of having my back to him. His arm remains around my waist, while the other is under my head acting as a pillow. Our legs are intertwined and only a few inches of space separate us. I expect to feel awkward lying in bed this close to Christian, but surprisingly I don't. It kind of just feels right…

"Christian….I-"

 ** _** Trigger Warning **_**

"Ana, before I was adopted by Carrick and Grace, I had a pretty rough early start to life," Christian decides to start with this story first which is more than okay by me. "I was born to a young, single woman whose main source of income was turning tricks on a street corner. She had a…pimp, who got her hooked on drugs. I can still remember him telling her to take what he was offering because it would help her get through the night. I could tell she didn't want to take it but in the end she did. She would leave me alone at night or sometimes a neighbor would come over when she went…out. The man, her pimp, couldn't stand me. He didn't hide the fact that he hated me. He….I learned very quickly that it was better if I hid when he was there. He wouldn't hurt me if he couldn't see or hear me. If he could see me or if I made even a small sound, he would become very angry. He….he beat me, he kicked me and he used me as an astray-"

"Oh God!" I gasp in shock and disgust.

"I have scars from where he put the cigarettes out on my chest and my back and a few from where he hit me with a belt. I've had a lot of therapy over the years Ana, to try to get past this, but….I still can't have anyone touch my chest or my back. It was why I…I held your hands last night-"

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Christian-"

"You didn't Ana. In fact, it was until you had the second button of my shirt undone did I even realize you were that close to touching me. I didn't want you to accidently touch me and for me to freak out and ruin….the night for us."

"No, I kind of took care of that on my own," I sigh.

"I had no idea Ana, that holding your hands would have that effect on you. You see….anytime I've ever been with a woman I've restrained her hands so there was no chance of her touching me."

"You….you sleep with women with their hands….tied together?" Not at all what I was expecting. I guess until now I hadn't thought about how Christian could be intimate with a woman if he couldn't bear to have his chest and back touched.

"With their consent," he quickly adds. "But, yes, I restrained their hands to ensure that there was no chance of them touching me."

"I see," I don't really, but I guess I could sort of understand how it would work for him. "And that's what you were going to do with me last night?"

"I didn't….I would have….I mean we would have talked about it before I did it, but yes, that's what I was going to do Ana," he tries to look away as if he's embarrassed but considering we're lying facing each other there isn't a lot of other places for him to look besides at me.

"When I was thirteen, we lived in this crummy run down trailer," I begin after a few minutes of silence. I need him to understand that my reaction was not to him necessarily and was because of what he did, not who he is. "My….mother had moved us to Georgia to live with some guy she had met in a bar somewhere. She…my mother had a lot of problems with drugs and alcohol and men. She jumped from guy to guy, bed to bed, house to house. We never stayed in one place for very long; when she got tired of a guy she found a new one to move on with. Anyway, she moved us to Georgia with…Stephen," I cringe saying his name again. "He creeped me out from the day I met him; I didn't like the way he looked at me. It was like he was imagining what was under my clothes. I avoided being there alone with him; I stayed after school as late as possible before walking home. They both worked odd jobs, so it wasn't always easy to know when someone would be home or not home. He didn't do anything…until one night-"

" . ?" Christian's teeth are tight together and I can hear the anger in his voice.

"I was asleep in bed when they got home; it was really late and they were drunk or high. I eventually fell back to sleep after I heard them go into their bedroom. When I woke up," I take a deep breath and close my eyes, not wanting to say the words. "He was on top of me. My hands were….he held them above my head with one hand; the other was covering my mouth. He had my legs pinned with his; he was too strong for me to push him off of me."

"Did he…."

"No, thank God," I answer his unasked question quickly. "Although I have no doubt he was going to. I bit his hand, he yanked it back and slapped me. I screamed as loud as I could which finally brought my mother to the door. It wasn't until she asked him what he was doing that he finally got off of me. I crawled to the corner of the bed, against the wall trying to get away from him."

"What did she do? Tell me she kicked him out-"

"No, I wish. She told him to come back to bed so she could take care of him. I'll never forget the look she gave me when she said that; she blamed me for what he did-"

"You were a child!"

"Before he left my room he warned me that she wouldn't always be able to protect me."

 ** _** End Trigger Warning **_**

"Did he come back into your room again?"

"No, in fact I never saw him or her again."

"What do you mean?"

"When I came home from school the next day, they were gone. I didn't think anything of it because it wasn't unlike them to disappear for days at time. After about a week I began to wonder if they were coming back. When I went into their room and saw that most of their things were gone, I realized they wouldn't be coming back."

"They just left you?"

"They did."

"Ana….God, I'm so sorry," he pulls me closer to him, eliminating any space that had been between us. He just holds me and rubs my back for the longest time. "The nightmare last night….it was about that night?"

"Yes. I haven't had that nightmare in years, not since right after they left."

"I'm sorry Ana, I had no idea-"

"You had no reason to think that holding my wrists would have caused….my reaction last night."

"I'll never do that again Ana, I swear to you-"

"I trust you Christian."


	40. Chapter 39 - The wedding!

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: The wedding is here! I truly hope I do it justice! I'd love to hear your thoughts!_

 **Chpt. 38 CPOV:**

 ** _** Trigger Warning **_**

 _"Come on, just take a little bit. It'll make you feel better," the mean man says to Mommy._

 _"I don't want to…it makes me feel weird. I can't take care of….I can't think straight when you give me that stuff."_

 _"You don't need to think tonight, I just need you to do your fucking job. Now take this."_

 _"Ow!"_

 _"There, you'll feel better soon."_

 _"I felt fine before you did that."_

 _"I know, but now you'll feel great. I have a big party lined up for you to work tonight. I need you at the top of your game tonight. You're going to make me a lot of money tonight."_

 _"And then that's it right? After this no more. I don't want to keep using this stuff."_

 _"Sure, baby, whatever you say. No more after this. Go down to the car and wait for me."_

 _"Mmmm….kay."_

 _The door closes, I stay under my blanket. I'm hiding; he can't see me under here. He won't hurt me if I stay hiding. He won't hurt me if he can't see me. I wish Mommy would tell him to not come back. I don't know why she keeps letting him in our home. She should tell me he is mean._

 _"Come out you little shit, I know you're under there!"_

 _I bury my head in my knees; I should have gone under the bed, then he wouldn't know I was here. I wish Lisa would come back; he doesn't hurt me when Lisa is here. He doesn't come in our home when Lisa is here. Mommy said Lisa had to go away and wouldn't be coming back._

 _"You're causing me to lose money again your little shit!"_

 _"Owwwwwww!" Something hits my back hard and it hurts me…a lot._

 _"Your mom tried to use you as excuse again tonight. If she doesn't make me the money I need tonight, I'm going to make sure you never see her again. Understand?"_

 _"I asked if you understood?"_

 _He pulls the blanket off of me. I'm not strong enough to hold onto it. I fall off the bed and hurt my arm on the floor._

 _"Owwwwww! STOP! PLEASE STOP!"_

 _He hits me over and over and over again with his belt. It hurts real bad. My back hurts. I think he made it bleed again. I don't know why he is always mad at me. I was quiet. I was hiding. I didn't come out of my room when he was here. Why doesn't he like me?_

 _"You better pray your mother works real hard tonight kid. If not you'll be real sorry when you don't see her again."_

 _"OWWWWWWWWWW!"_

 ** _** End Trigger Warning **_**

I wake up drenched in sweat with the blankets wrapped around me. I'm breathing heavy and my heart is pounding; I fucking hate these nightmares. I hate that I can't sleep through the night except for the rare occasion the nightmares don't haunt me. The fact that I can't share a bed with a woman has never bothered me, it's just something that has always been a part of my life. But now….I can't help but think back to how it felt to sleep with Ana last night. Not after her reaction to….to what I did of course, but after we talked and I brought her back to my bed. She fell asleep so fast in my bed; I laid there watching her sleep for some time. I wanted to know what happened to her; I wanted to wake her up and demand she tell me what happened. When she asked if I would tell her why she couldn't touch me, I knew I had no choice if I wanted her to be open with me. I hated the idea of telling her what had happened but I knew I had no choice.

After watching Ana sleep for some time, I finally fell asleep myself. I slept more soundly those few hours than I have in months. She woke up before I did and while I expected her to try to leave the bed to avoid the tough conversation we both knew was coming, she didn't. I knew the moment she woke up because her body tensed for a split second before relaxing against me. Somehow while sleeping we gravitated towards each other and for the first time in my life I was actually spooning with a woman. It felt so good just to have her next to me, to feel her pressed against me for those few minutes before the storm came through.

When Ana reacted to….to what I did, I assumed it had something to do with the fucker ex fiancé she had who enjoyed hitting her. I was floored by what she had told me about her mother's ex and even more shocked by her mother's behavior. I wanted to ask so many more questions but once she told me that she never saw them again my mind was immediately eased. I still have questions I want to ask Ana: how did she survive after they left? Who raised her if she never saw her mother again? What happened to her mother? Do we need to be concerned that her mother will try to find her once our marriage is announced? Yet, after we traded stories, I asked none of those questions. I didn't want to press Ana too much, she always shuts down at the mention of her past or her family so I figured it was best to table the conversation for another day.

We stayed in bed for some time after we talked; neither of us in any hurry to get up. It was almost as if we both knew the moment we got out of bed reality would set back in. I don't know that either of us considered the possible implications from sharing a bed or sharing our stories for that matter; both of which could easily complicate our arrangement. Today has reality hitting us smack in the face as we both prepare for the wedding. Today marks the official beginning of our new arrangement; until today nothing has really changed between us except Ana moving into the penthouse. Today, everything changes. Today, Ana officially becomes my wife. In a few days, GEH will release a statement and a picture of us telling the world that our lives have changed. As petrified as I once was about this arrangement with Ana, I am oddly calm this morning. Ana and my mother are spending the morning at the spa getting pampered before we exchange vows on the beach this afternoon. I take out my laptop and try to get work done before I need to get ready for the ceremony.

As much as I try to focus on work, my mind keeps going back to my conversation with Ana yesterday morning. I'll never forget the look on her face when she realized she was sleeping in one of my shirts and assumed that meant that I had….that we had fucked. I was stunned at my response to her reaction; I was disappointed that she was clearly upset by the idea of having sex with me. It was until she explained that she was more worried about not remember something that happened between us than she was about the idea of us having sex. What shocked me even more was when I joked and asked if it would be the end of the world if we had slept together, she said that if we had she just wanted to be able to remember it. I was expecting her to say that it would complicate things too much between us or some other excuse as to why it shouldn't happen. Watching her face blush as she struggled to find the words left me no doubt that she was considering the idea that one day we could…

But after talking yesterday morning, I realize that I don't think that's going to be possible. Even if I could….if she were interested in fucking the same way I am…I don't see how it could work. How can I fuck her without her hands restrained? How can I guarantee she won't touch my chest or my back if her hands aren't tied? After seeing her reaction when I held her hands, I know there is no way I can restrain her. I still don't think she would be interested in the way I fuck…but I think I could try something else for her. I've never wanted anything else with a woman; a quick, hard, kinky fuck has always been enough for me – I've never needed anything else.

"Yo Bro! Open up!" Elliot bangs on the door essentially ending my struggle with the dilemma that seems to have no possible answers.

"You're early," I greet him.

"We made great time, what can I say?"

"Everyone get here okay?"

"Yup, Mia is with mom and Ana now. Roz and Gwen are checking into their room. Grandmother and Grandfather are getting settled as well."

"Good. Glad everyone was able to make the flight."

"Are you ready to get married bro? You aren't even dressed yet!"

"All I need to do is throw on my suit, it takes a few minutes to get changed."

"True…true."

"How are things Elliot? You…you haven't seemed yourself lately."

"Eh…you know."

"I don't actually. Why don't you tell me?"

"Do you know I haven't gotten laid in more than three months?"

"Really?" For Elliot this is like an eternity.

"Yeah."

"Dry spell?"

"Not really interested in anyone. Of course I can a girl on my doorstep with a quick call, but…"

"You don't want just a fuck."

"Yeah. Seeing you and Ana….I want that."

"You want what?"

"Someone to love me the way she loves you. Someone to look at me the way she looks at you. Someone who cares about how my day went; about the work that I do. I've watched Ana at dinners, she's actually interested in what you are saying when you talk business with me or dad. None of the girls I've been with would do that; they probably wouldn't even be able to understand any of it. You found an amazing woman bro; I don't know what you did to deserve Ana, but she's absolutely amazing. And she loves you no less."

"I'm very lucky," I agree but I don't argue that what he sees is only a strong friendship between two people. I can't tell him that; I can't tell him that what he is about to witness is nothing more than an act to benefit two people. I can't tell him that in two years this will all be over. "You'll find someone who loves you Elliot. If you want something more than a one night stand, you might want to start by picking up women somewhere other than a strip club."

"Ha ha."

"All kidding aside Elliot, I'm happy for you."

"Enough with this sappy bullshit. Let's do a shot!"

And like that the rare side of Elliot is gone. He produces a small bottle of scotch from his pocket along with two shot glasses.

"Congrats bro, I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks Elliot."

After we complete our celebratory shot, Elliot heads back to his room to get changed for the ceremony. I have a simple black suit hanging in the closet that I need to change into in a few minutes. Ana and I decided against a tux for the ceremony since the wedding was pretty casual.

 _How are you? –A_

 _About to get dressed. How are you? –C_

 _Same. Hair and make up are done. Loved the spa this morning. Thank you for arranging it. –A_

 _Hope you could relax. –C_

 _I did; it was very relaxing –A_

 _My mom and Mia aren't driving you too crazy I hope? –C_

 _They just went to get changed themselves. Your mom really seemed to enjoy the spa as well. Mia…Mia is as bubbly as ever – maybe a little more than normal. –A_

 _No surprise there LOL –C_

 _I better get changed. I'll see you on the beach in a few minutes. –A_

I find myself smiling at our text exchange without even realizing it. I've never really been one to text message; email sure, it's a part of my day to day business, but texting is still kind of new to me. I like that it's something I have with Ana. I find myself looking forward to the ding on my phone when she texts me. It tends to break up my day which is usually otherwise filled with meetings. It also gives me a sense of what is going on in her day. I get worried that she is stuck in Escala all day; hopefully once the press dies down she can go back to the bakery or start taking the classes she has been looking forward to.

"Christian?" My dad knocks on my door just as I'm finishing putting my shoes on.

"I'm ready Dad," I say.

"I'm really happy for you son. You don't know how proud your mother and I are of you. Not only do you run a very successful company, but you have found a beautiful woman who you love and who loves you back. Remember to make your marriage a priority; remember that Ana always needs to come first. Don't take her love for granted; the type of love you have doesn't come more than once in a lifetime. And don't stop looking at her the way you do; that look, says everything about how you feel. Don't lose that look."

"I won't Dad."

His words surprise me; I'm not sure how I look at Ana that would have him thinking that it shows how I feel. I care for Ana, deeply; she has easily become my closest friend especially in the last few weeks. Perhaps that's what he sees? That must be it. He must be mistaking my caring for something more.

"Ana will be leaving shortly, so we need to head down to the beach."

I walk with my dad and Elliot through the hotel and down the beach to the area that is completely hidden from the rest of the beach. I was relieved when we walked down here yesterday and discovered the beach was exactly like the pictures we saw online. It's close enough to the hotel, yet is private enough that hotel guests can't see the area. The swimming area is far enough away that we don't need to worry about people trying to access the beach that way. Taylor is standing at the beach entrance along with several other members of the security team that have been hired specifically for today. Most of the guests are already seated including my mother and Mia. My grandparents, Roz and Gwen make up the final members of our guest list. Although it was Ana's idea for the small, private ceremony I have to admit this is exactly what I would have wanted if I were to plan my real wedding. Not having the press here and people I don't really know who want to discuss business propositions with me is what makes this arrangement ideal.

I'm standing next to the wedding officiant when I hear soft music start to play; I immediately look for Ana but she is still too far away for me to see her. Just as the music changes she makes her entrance and completely takes my breath away. I can't tell you how long it took her to walk down the aisle or what any of the guests did as she walked. My entire focus is on nothing but her. She looks absolutely stunning in her white dress. It is simple, yet elegant and completely Ana. Her hair is arranged up off her shoulders but has several curled pieces that fall around her face. She carries a bouquet of blue and white flowers which are complemented by small flowers in her hair. She looks confident and sure of herself as she walks towards me. She looks like the woman I first met on the sidewalk so many months ago and the woman who met me to discuss our first arrangement.

"Hi," she whispers when I meet her just before the alter.

"You look beautiful, truly breathtaking Ana," I whisper before kissing her on the cheek and leading her to the alter.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we are here on this beautiful day to witness the marriage between…."

I tune the officiant out and instead focus only on Ana who seems to be doing the same thing I am. Her eyes find mine and she smiles softly at me, squeezing my hand as she does. She doesn't seem nervous at all; she seems very relaxed which is reassuring. I was afraid that she would change her mind especially when she spent the night alone last night. I thought perhaps once she had time to process what I did the other night that she would realize that she didn't want to do this any longer. Even though I hate the thought of her leaving, I wouldn't blame her after the memory I triggered for her. Yet, here she is, standing before me and my family committing to follow through with the insane arrangement I proposed to her only two weeks ago.

"And now Ana and Christian will exchange their vows," the officiant thankfully pulls me back to reality just in time for our part of the ceremony. Ana and I had picked out vows a few days and decided to memorize them rather than repeat after someone.

"Ana, today I promise you this: I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. Let us be partners and friends, today and all of the days that follow."

Ana repeats the vows to me, once again squeezing my hand as she says the words. We searched the internet for many hours before finding vows that we thought could fit our very unique situation. Too many vows focused on loving each other or being lovers. While this marriage maybe an arrangement between the two of us, I wanted the words we exchanged to each other to be as true as possible. When Ana found these vows it just seemed perfect for our situation. We have laughed together, comforted and supported each other and are truly partners in this arrangement we have.

We recite the standard vows as we exchange our wedding bands. Ana's band matches her engagement ring perfectly as it was custom made just as the ring was. My band is simple; a band of white gold with today's date inscribed on the inside.

"Ana and Christian, by the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

I lean down, placing my lips on Ana's as my arms encircle her waist. I love how soft her dress feels when I touch her; I love that I can feel her soft curves beneath the dress. Her hands grasp my arms tightly when gently coax her mouth open. Feeling her against me and how soft her body is, I'm tempted to drag her back to my hotel room right now forgetting all about how complicated things would be between us in bed. I'm tempted to say fuck it all when the officiant clears his throat and I hear everyone chuckle. Ana's face is a deep read as we pull apart from each other.

"Ladies and Gentleman, it is my great honor to introduce to you for the first time ever Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey!"

Our guests applaud as Ana and I walk down the aisle hand in hand where we meet the photographer who we hired for today. We spend the next hour posing for pictures before heading back to the small banquet room for dinner.

"Ana, Christian, I couldn't be happier for you two," my mom greets us as soon as we walk in. "I knew the moment I met you Ana, that you were the one for Christian. Before I left that day I even told him not to let you get away. I knew that day how much you cared for my son and I feel like we've watched you two fall in love since then. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to call you my daughter Ana; welcome to our family."

"Grace," Ana gasps before my mom hugs her tightly.

"Son, take good care of this amazing woman you have here. I'm so happy that you found someone who loves you for who you are. You have made your father and I so proud over the years but today, watching you commit your entire future to this woman couldn't make either of us prouder of you."

I have no words for my mother; guilt washes over me as I let her words sink in. Rather than letting her see the guilt in my eyes, I do something I've never done before. I hug my mother, tightly; I hear her gasp against my chest and I ignore the fear this is causing me so I can give this to her.

"Christian! Ana!" Mia greets us next, thankfully ending this guilt ridden moment.

Ana and I spend the next few minutes speaking with each of our guests before heading to the private table at the front of the room. We're not having a typical wedding reception since our wedding was so small and casual. We will have dinner, Ana and I will dance and then cake will be served. Most of the important things will be done here, but it won't be the several hours that most wedding receptions are. In less than three hours we will be back on the jet where we will take off for our honeymoon.

"I feel horrible," Ana whispers after we sit down.

"What's the matter? Are you sick? Do you need a doctor?" I'm immediately alarmed, she has never complained of not feeling well.

"Not that kind of horrible," she assures me. "What your mother said…."

"I know Ana and I'm sorry. I never expected her to get so emotional over this. I guess I didn't think…I didn't realize how this would affect all of them."

"I hate that we're lying to them. I hate that she's already thinking of me as her daughter and that in two years she is going to hate me-"

"I promise you, when this is over no one in my family will hate you. I won't let them think negatively of you, I promise."

"You can't guarantee that Christian," she sighs. "God, if they ever found out this was all a lie-"

"They won't. They will never know that we lied to them. We've covered our bases, no one but you, me and Taylor know was today was really about. I promise you Ana, I will do everything in my power to ensure they know you didn't do anything wrong. They will not blame you when we end this. I'll let them blame me-"

"No! I don't want them to be mad at you either."

"Ana, let's not worry about this now. When the time comes, I'll find a way to take care of everything, I promise."

I can see Ana try to relax but I know she is struggling just as much as I am with what my mother said. I never thought about how this would impact my family; I didn't expect them to get so attached to Ana. I vow to find a way to make this right before we dissolve our marriage. I refuse to allow them to think that Ana had any part in the reason for ending our marriage. I won't let them think badly of her for what will ultimately be my decision. With everything that An has done for me, the least I can do it to accept full blame when the time comes for the divorce.

The rest of the reception flies by quickly; we eat our dinner and dance the customary first dance together. The cake is cut and we take our final pictures before Taylor and Sawyer escort us to the SUV where our bags from earlier have already been loaded. The ride to the airport is quick, surprisingly there is minimal traffic which is rare for California even on a Saturday evening.

"Ana….thank you again for doing all of this. I cannot begin to tell you how much this means to me and how much I appreciate what you are doing. This is for you," I hand her the envelope that Taylor gave me when we boarded the plane. "to show you how much I appreciate everything you are doing for me."

"Christian….what is this?"

"Just a little something to say thank you Ana."

"CHRISTIAN!" she gasps when she opens the envelope and realizes what she is holding. "I CANNOT accept this!"

"The deed is in your name Ana, the bakery is yours."

"When….how….I thought the bakery was sold awhile ago?"

"It was, to me."

"But we hadn't….we weren't engaged then!" she looks around the room to ensure that no one can hear us. Taylor is in the small office and he is the only member of our security team joining us on our honeymoon. The flight staff are busy preparing the plane for takeoff so they can't overhear anything.

"When I bought the bakery, my intention was to give it to you when we terminated our…agreement. It was always with the intent to thank you for what you have done for me. You have gone above and beyond what I ever expected when I signed the contact with Elena. I never expected to find someone I would consider my closest friend, someone I would tell my secrets to or someone that would even consider doing this for me. You amaze me Ana, in all that you do. This is merely an attempt to thank you for that."

"Christian….I….." she stutters trying to figure out what to say. "I never expected you out of my contract with Elena. I thought I would end up with some stuffy business man who could have cared less about me. I never thought I would find someone I could trust, someone I felt…safe with. I haven't had a friend in a very long time….you are truly my best friend Christian-"

"Ana," I pull her close to me as a tear falls from her eye. I rub her back and just hold her against me. Her head is on my shoulder, her arm around my stomach as she tries to hug me back.

"I don't know the first thing about running a bakery Christian, what if I screw it up?"

"You won't. Ginny has agreed to work on site with you for the first year and she will teach you everything you need to know. After the first year, she has agreed to consult with you from a distance for up to three additional years or until you feel comfortable."

"Christian….I….I can't accept this."

"Ana, it's in your name. The bakery is yours."

"I don't know what to say Christian. No one has ever…."

"You don't need to say anything Ana. This is nothing compared to what you are giving me especially after today."


	41. Chapter 40

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: I was blown away by the response to the wedding in the last chapter! I was so nervous about writing it; I wanted to write enough to give you the impression of the wedding but I didn't want to bore you with all the crazy details that weddings usual entail. The vows were the hardest part for me; I searched the internet (like I said Ana & Christian did) to find vows that would reflect their unique situation. I tweaked the ones that I did find to try to get them to work for our couple. It definitely wasn't easy! This morning I spent almost just as long trying to find the ideal honeymoon location for a man who can afford anything, but recognizing in reality he had less than two weeks to plan the trip itself. If you want to see pictures of the honeymoon destination, I found the best ones on tripadvisor. Thank you all for your continued support and love for this story!_

 **Chpt. 40 APOV:**

I am beyond stunned, shocked and floored by Christian's wedding gift to me. I never expected a wedding gift, let alone him to give me the deed to the bakery. I had always dreamed of one day opening my own bakery but I never thought it would happen. Yet here I am holding the deed to Sweet Dreams bakery in my hand. I'm speechless, yet there's so much I want to say to Christian. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough; those two words don't seem like they would convey what I feel right now. How do you thank someone for giving you something you've dreamed of for so long but never thought would ever happen? I feel guilty for even accepting this; I can't begin to imagine what buying the bakery cost Christian. I don't know why he felt the need to buy me a wedding present, let alone one so damn expensive. He seems to think that he is the only getting something out of our new arrangement, but he's not. In two years when this is all over, I'm going to be walking away with a condo that I will never need to worrying about paying for and a college degree. Those two items are priceless in themselves, especially the condo. Having a place of my own, a safe place, is something I haven't ever had. I wish he would see what he is giving me the way I see it. I wish he would realize that I'm getting just as much from this new arrangement as he is.

"I had the flight crew put an overnight bag in the bedroom for you; there should be a change of clothes and any toiletries you might need for the trip," Christian pulls me from my thoughts as I realize my head was still resting on his shoulder. I quickly wipe away the tears that had fallen before sitting up. I want to say more about the bakery, but I don't know what to say. I want to refuse to accept it, I want to give it back to him and tell him to sale it someone else. But on the other hand, I have someone handing me the dream I never thought I would achieve. How do you turn that down? Especially when the person is asking nothing of you in return than what you already agreed to? But, how do I not feel like I'm taking advantage of Christian? How can I ensure he doesn't think I'm like his ex who only wants material items from him? Who was willing to exploit him for his money?

"Christian….I want you to know that I never expected this," I gesture to the envelope holding the deed to the bakery. "I never expected anything more than what we already agreed to when you asked me to marry you. I cannot thank you enough though for this gift; you are making a dream of mine come true, one that I never thought I would see. Part of me really wants to tell you that I can't accept some an extravagant gift-"

"Ana, please. You say that I'm making your dream come true, but you fail to see that you are doing the same for me. You are helping me keep my dream alive. Without you, I don't know how I would change things for GEH. This is the least I can do to try to thank you for everything you are doing for me."

"I….I just don't want you to ever think that I expect things like this from you Christian. I don't want you to think you need to constantly spend money on me to thank me for marrying you."

"I can't and won't promise you that I will not spend more money on you over the course of our marriage but trust me…I know you don't expect it."

"Just don't feel like you have to constantly thank me. Can we just call it even after this?"

"Sure," he chuckles. "If that will make you feel better about this, yes I will agree that we are even now."

"Thank you," I don't feel completely relieved but at least it's a start to get him to not think that I expect him to constantly spend money on me. "Now, can you tell me where we are going and when we're going to get there?"

"We are going to Turtle Island."

"That doesn't help me, I have no idea where that is."

"Fiji."

"We're going to Fiji?"

Holy shit!

"Yes, the flight should take about 12 hours, but because of the time change we actually lose almost a day going there. The first day is probably going to be rough because of the time change as we are arriving at bout 3am local time. Once we land we will change planes and take a small sea plane over to the island."

"Have you ever been to Fiji?"

"No, but I did a lot of research on Turtle Island before agreeing to my travel agent's recommendation. This island is very popular amongst those who value their privacy. You can only access the island via plane or boat so the chances of the press sneaking onto the island is very slim. We won't be staying in a typical hotel, either which helps with the privacy. Instead, we will be staying in a villa that is pretty secluded even from the other villas on the island. We have direct access to a private section of the beach and the villa itself is surrounded by trees and wildlife. From what I've seen there are plenty of things to do on the island. Meals can be brought directly to our villa or we can eat at one of the many restaurants. Gail and Taylor will be staying in a room at a hotel that is on the island just in case we want to go off the island."

"Gail?"

"She wasn't able to fly out with us today as she had already made plans for tomorrow with her sister but she will be flying out on Monday to join Taylor. It's a working vacation for Taylor, but I expect it will be a lot less work once we arrive on the island. This way they get to enjoy some time alone and Taylor isn't completely bored for the next week."

"I'm sure Gail is excited about the trip."

"With everything those two do for me, it's the least I can do."

I don't think Christian ever realizes how kind he truly is; he constantly gives to others yet doesn't expect very much in return. The wedding today is a perfect example of that; he gave me the wedding I told him I dreamed about when I was younger. And now, he's taking me on what sounds like the absolute perfect honeymoon. I'm touched that he has gone through so much trouble for an arrangement that is designed to save GEH. It's funny, when we were entered the arrangement with Elena I thought of it as a business transaction and tried to convince myself that Christian would never see me as anything more than that. I think with this arrangement, neither Christian nor I are that blind. We both recognize that is far from a business transaction. I suppose it's more like an agreement between two close friends who want to help each other out.

"How long are we going to be in Fiji for?" I ask.

"One week, I would have liked to stay for longer, but getting away from GEH on such short notice wasn't easy."

"I'm…I'm just excited to be going for any length of time!"

"I hope you like the island. There's tons of things to do, in addition to beach access the villa has it's own private pool that we can use."

"Wow, I think I could spend every day at the villa and never grow bored."

"I hope not."

"Thank you Christian for doing all this. You didn't have to go through all this trouble-"

"It wasn't-"

"Christian, we could have just gone away somewhere for a night or two after the wedding. You didn't have to fly me to another country, take so much time off of work for the honeymoon. I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you did today to make the wedding special and now for giving me a honeymoon that any girl would wish for."

"You said you never thought you would ever get married, so I wanted to make this wedding and honeymoon something that you could happily look back on," he shrugs as if it's no big deal what he did.

"I will always remember it Christian, I'm touched that you wanted to make it special for me."

He doesn't respond and after a few minutes he takes out his phone and starts checking his emails. I don't think he's comfortable with the focus being on him. I've noticed that he tends to try to change the subject when someone tries to recognize something nice he has done. He's told me multiple times he prefers not to be recognized for donations he has made. He tries to play things off as if it was no big deal; I don't think he ever realizes how much it means to the person he is doing things for. I vow to do something special for him when we return back to Seattle to thank him for this.

"I think I'm going to go change, the bedroom is back there?" I gesture towards the back of the plane where he indicated it was when we flew to California the other day.

"Yes, I'll show you."

Obviously before our wedding, I had never flown on a private jet before so it was quite a surprise to realize how big this plane really was. Besides the pilot and staff area, there is a small office for security, two large bathrooms and then a small bedroom in the rear of the plane. The bedroom isn't very large, but there is a queen size bed, a small dresser and nightstand in the room. On the bed lies two small overnight bags which I assume contain everything we need for the flight to Fiji.

"I asked Caroline, the personal shopper who arranged everything for you, to pack you something comfortable for the flight over. Hopefully whatever she packed will be sufficient for you."

"I'm sure whatever it is it's fine."

"I would suggest trying to get some sleep on the flight over, the flight crew will wake us when they need us to begin to prepare for landing."

"Are you going to sleep?"

"The seats out there fully recline-"

"You can stay-"

"No, I'll sleep out there. Ana…" he runs his hands through his hair. "I'm not sure how things are going to work once we arrive at the villa."

"What do you mean?"

"The villa only has one bedroom…."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I tried to get us a two bedroom villa, but there are only a handful on the island and they book months in advance. I didn't want to push the issue too much and give my travel agent any reason to raise questions about why I was demanding a two bedroom villa only to then have our wedding announced days later."

"No, of course not. It'll be fine Christian…I mean, we've slept together…er….slept in the same bed twice now without an issue. I know it's not ideal-"

"No. I'm sure there is a couch or something at the villa I can sleep on."

"Christian, I don't think that's necessary. I'm sure the bed will be big enough for both of us-"

"I….I'm going to end up having a nightmare Ana; it's inevitable, I rarely go more than a night without one. When that happens, I….I can't risk hurting you."

"You won't hurt me Christian-"

"You don't know that!"

"Christian, you didn't think twice about sleeping next to me when I had a nightmare or when…after I freaked out the other night."

"That's different…"

"Why?"

"Because, you can't hurt me; Ana I've given Taylor a split lip and nearly broke his nose the one time he tried to wake me up. My parents learned very early on after they adopted me not to try to wake me when I have a nightmare because they would end up getting hit when they tried."

"And if you end up having a nightmare this week, I promise you I won't try to wake you up. I'll leave the room and wait until you wake up before I come back in."

"I don't know Ana."

"It's better than you sleeping on the couch Christian."

"Ana, what if I hurt you?"

"You won't Christian."

"But-"

"How about a trial run?"

"What do mean?"

"Taylor is here now, so if something were to happen he could intervene. Sleep in here with me; I'm sure it's more comfortable than sleeping on the chair out there."

"I don't know."

"Just think about it. I hate the thought of you sleeping on an uncomfortable couch if you don't have to. If you want to try this tonight, then we can see what happens. If you have a nightmare and Taylor has to intervene than the couch it is in Fiji. But if you have the nightmare and you don't hurt me, than consider sharing a bed with me in Fiji."

"Why are you doing this Ana?"

"Why?"

"Why not just let it be? Why not just let me sleep on the couch?"

"Because Christian, you deserve to be comfortable and I don't care what you say sleeping on a couch is not comfortable. A night is one thing, but spending an entire week on a couch? You'll back will be killing you before we even head back to Seattle. If we're going to be in Fiji, we both should enjoy it. You won't be able to do that if you can barely move."

"I suppose."

"Just think about it okay. No pressure. If you would rather sleep out there tonight or on the couch that's fine."

I suddenly feel guilty for trying to pressure Christian to share a bed with me in Fiji. I really just want him to be comfortable and it doesn't seem fair that he would have to sleep on the couch and I what I'm sure will be a ginormous bed all to myself. As insistent as I was when I first signed the contract with Elena that I would never be alone with a man, that all changed when I spent the weekend with Christian. Knowing him as well as I do now, I have no problems with the idea of sharing a bed with him tonight or in Fiji. I don't doubt for a second that Christian would hurt me or do anything that I didn't want him to do.

"I'm going to go check in with Taylor and see how things are going in Seattle," Christian says before leaving the room.

I shake my head hoping that I didn't hurt his feelings with my suggestion. Before changing out of my wedding gown, I decide that if Christian is insistent that we do not share a bed for this next week, that we will be taking turns sleeping on the couch. It's only fair that we both get to sleep comfortably, so this way every other night one of us is comfortable. I have to admit that I like the idea of sharing a bed with Christian again; I slept so well the other morning in his bed. I loved feeling his arms around me when I woke up; I'll never forget how safe I felt in his arms. I can't help but worry that perhaps he just doesn't _want_ to sleep with me again. I thought we both slept good together, but maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe he was uncomfortable sleeping with me? Although, if that was the case why did he take me back to his bed after my nightmare when he could have easily suggest I return to my room? Maybe he's worried that we're blurring the lines of our arrangement, especially after what happened the other night at the nightclub and this is his way of protecting both of us?

I decide there's no point in continuing to worry about Christian's reasons or even what he is thinking. I'll wait and see what he decides but won't pressure him one way or another. I have to remember that he after what his ex did to him he probably still has issues trusting women completely. I'm sure it was hard enough having me move into his apartment with him, on top of now being married something he even said he never thought would happen.

Realizing I've been in here too long, I quickly change out of my wedding gown and put on the comfortable yoga pants and top that were packed for me for this trip. The overnight bag also has a long sleeve top and a clean pair of clothes for tomorrow for when we arrive in Fiji. I think I'm still in complete disbelief that we are going to Fiji; it's one of those places you see pictures in magazines of and always dream of going but never think you will actually get to go. And from what Christian has described the island and villa we will be staying in just sound amazing.

"Did you find everything you needed?" Christian asks when I come out of the bedroom.

"Yes, it seems Caroline thought of everything I would need."

"Good, she also arranged for your wardrobe for this week but if she forgot anything I'm sure they will have it on the island or we can send Taylor to get what you need."

"I'm sure I can make do with whatever she packed for the week."

The next couple of hours pass by quickly; Christian gets some work done on his laptop and I spend some time reading a book that Christian said Gail thought I would like to read on the plane. It was one that I had just started before we left for California and had mentioned to Gail how much I was enjoying reading the book. Gail and I have spent a lot of time together since I moved in with Christian; for the most part it's just the two of us in the apartment all day. Sawyer is there off and on depending on what is going on for the day but it's typically just been the two of us. We've been eating lunch together for the past week, which has been nice. I don't know if she knows about the arrangement Christian and I have; even though Christian hadn't mentioned her knowing I think she has to considering her and Taylor are together. If she does know, she hasn't given me any indication that she thinks negatively of me for agreeing to the arrangement.

"I think I'm going to head to bed," I close the book when my eyes begin to become too heavy to read.

"The flight crew will probably need to wake us around five or five-thirty depending on the timing we make on the way there. Once we arrive and settle in to the villa you can go back to sleep if you're still tired. The time change is going to screw with your mind for the first day or two until you adjust."

"I'm sure it will."

I don't ask Christian what he has decided for his sleeping arrangements for tonight, assuming that since he didn't mention coming to bed with me that he is going to sleep out here tonight. Although I'm disappointed, I understand his fear that he might hurt me especially with how guilty he feels about what happened in the foyer of Escala the other night. I quickly use the bathroom to wash up before climbing into the incredibly comfortable bed. The sheets must be the same ones that Christian has on his bed because they feel just as soft and warm. I'm just about asleep when I hear the bedroom door open and close quietly. I sense Christian is in the room even without seeing him; he seems to stand at the end of the bed for a few minutes before sighing and walking to the other side of the bed. I feel him slowly, almost cautiously, lie down next to me and then pull the blankets over him.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey? We will need you to take your seat in fifteen minutes so we can prepare to land," A voice wakes me a few hours later.

"Thank you," Christian grumbles next to me without moving.

Like the other morning, I wake up with Christian's arm around my waist and his back against me. I don't want to move; I don't want to get out of bed and go back to our seats. I'd rather stay right here and sleep longer with Christian next to me. He never ceases to amaze me. He was so worried about hurting me that he would rather be uncomfortable for a week.

"Good Morning," he says.

"Morning."

"Did you sleep okay?"

"I slept good, you?"

"Surprisingly, really good," Christian's voice is barely above a whisper.

Neither of us say anything or move to get out of bed; I think we both would rather stay here but unfortunately we need to return to our seats in the main area. When I sit up Christian grabs my hand and squeezes it before letting go; he doesn't say anything, but that small gesture says enough. I grab my overnight bag and head to the bathroom to get changed.

"Good Morning Ms….Mrs. Grey," Taylor greets me when I come out of the bathroom.

"Morning Taylor."

"There are some muffins and fruit on the counter if you want to grab something before the seatbelt sign comes on. You only have a few minutes, but if you would rather wait I'm sure the villa will be stocked when you arrive. Coffee and tea are ready as well."

Christian comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later looking completely refreshed and ready to start the day. We have just enough time to grab some fruit and coffee before the flight attendant asks us to take our seats. We land in Fiji a short time later and manage to breeze right through customs. We are escorted to a small sea plane where are luggage is loaded.

"Um…are you sure this is safe?" I ask nervously as we enter the very small plane.

"Rest assured Miss, this plane is fully inspected and completely safe. I guarantee it," our pilot/flight attendant says.

"You'll be fine," Christian chuckles.

The ride is bumpy and rough compared to the smooth flying of the jet, but once we are in the air it is easily forgotten as we fly over the bluest water that I've ever seen. The flight to Turtle Island doesn't take long at all. When the plane lands I am utterly amazed at the view before me; everything looks completely breathtaking. Despite it being barely four in the morning, the staff is ready to great us when the plane lands. We are escorted to the villa in a golf cart which I am surprised to learn will remain parked outside of our villa for our use the entire week we are there. Taylor checks everything over before heading back with the staff to the main building, leaving Christian and I alone for the week.

 _Author's Note 2: I hope too many of you aren't disappointed that Christian and Ana didn't have a typical wedding night. As much as I know everyone would have loved to read about that, I felt they needed this wedding night first. But don't worry, things will heat up in Fiji….it is a honeymoon after all._


	42. Chapter 41

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 51 CPOV:**

"Our bags have been unpacked and the bed has been turned down. I guess since it's so early they thought we might want to go back to sleep," I walk out of the bedroom to find Ana standing on the patio enjoying the beautiful view in front of us.

"I don't think I could sleep, but if you want to…"

"No, I think I slept enough on the plane."

I slept damn good on the plane but I don't admit that. Last night was the third time I've shared a bed with a woman and every one of those times that woman has been Ana. I don't know why, but I've slept better next to Ana than I have in my own damn bed back at Escala. I was floored that she argued that we should sleep in the same bed while we're here. I expected her to be grateful that I had already come up with a solution to the one bedroom problem of the villa. We've both become very comfortable with each other since she moved into the penthouse two weeks ago but I didn't expect her to be comfortable with sharing a bed with me. The two previous times we've slept together weren't planned, we didn't intentionally plan to share a bed. The first time was after her nightmare and then the other time was after she freaked out because I held her wrists. Last night was the first time we had agreed to sleep next to each other. Well, more that she suggested it and I eventually gave in. Even then, it was only after Taylor swore he would sleep in the seat nearest to the bedroom door and would immediately come in if I had a nightmare to ensure that Ana was safe. I will never be able to forgive myself if I hurt her during one of my nightmares. That's why deciding to share a bed with her is so difficult; she seems so confident that I won't hurt her but I just can't be so sure.

"I think I'm going to grab something to eat. They said there was fresh fruit in the fridge and breads on the counter. Did you want something?" Ana pulls me from my thoughts.

"Coffee would be good. I'm going to set up my laptop over on the desk," I gesture to the small work area set up off the living room. "I don't expect to need to do much work this week, but-"

"It's fine Christian. I didn't expect you to be completely unavailable to Roz and Andrea if something came up," she quickly interrupts.

While I'm setting up my laptop, I hear Ana tinkering around in the kitchen. I'm relieved that she was happy when I told her where we were going for our honeymoon. I had thought about telling her ahead of time, but I though the surprise might be better. The way her eyes lit up as we flew into the island removed any worry that I might not have chosen the right destination. When my travel agent suggested this place I knew it would be perfect for Ana. She loved the time we spent on the water in The Grace, so a villa on the beach was an obvious choice. The fact that it is so secluded and private just sealed the deal for me; we wouldn't have to worry about the press while we are here.

We spend the morning on the patio, Ana reading in the hammock while I answer a few emails on my phone from the small day bed that is set outside for star gazing. I like that while we are here alone; we are not completely left on our own. After Ana and I both agree would rather spend our first full day on island in the villa so I arranged to have our meals delivered.

"I think I'm going to go for a swim," Ana says..

"Are you going to be beach or the pool?"

"I think the pool, for now. Maybe the beach later," she giggles. "Then there's hot tub too."

"Pool today, beach tomorrow and hot tub at night when it gets chilly," I suggest.

"Good idea! Are you going to swim?"

"I just might do that."

I hadn't planned on going swimming, but when Ana suggested it I realized it had started to get pretty hot so a swim would be nice. We both go into the bedroom and pull our swim suits out of the dressers where the staff had unpacked our clothes. Ana goes into the master bathroom while I take my swim trunks to the guest bathroom to change.

"Christian," I hear Ana gasp and I immediately turn to find her staring at me. It's only when I look at where her eyes are focused do I realize that for the first time Ana is seeing me without a shirt on. It's odd, when I grabbed my swim trunks it didn't occur to me to grab a shirt. When I swim at my parent's house, I always wear a shirt. Why I didn't think to grab a shirt today confuses me; I usually avoid letting anyone see my scars even if they know that they are there. I look at Ana's eyes expecting to see pity in them, but instead I'm surprised that I see understanding. Although I told her about the scars the other night, I think actually seeing them has helped her understand why I can't stand the thought of someone touching my back or chest. Any other time someone has seen my scars, whether for the first time or for the hundredth time, they always have pity in their eyes. Other than not wanting people to ask questions, avoiding the look of pity is one of the main reasons I avoid letting people see my scars to begin with. I don't need people to pity me, especially not because of something that happened when I was so young.

"Come, let's go swimming," I hold out my hand towards her which she quickly takes. I don't want to talk about my scars right now; I want to go on about our day as if they aren't there. I don't want her to look at me differently because of them, even if I don't see the pity I expected in her eyes. I wish that I could forget that they were there; I wish that Ana and I could like any normal couple and that I wouldn't have to worry about her touching me.

"I forgot to grab towels," Ana says when we reach the pool.

"I'll grab them, there should be some in the cabinet," I gesture to the wicker shelving area against the villa. Walking over there, I confirm the staff has it fully stocked with plenty of towels for the pool, beach and hot tub. I grab two towels, nearly dropping them when I turn around and see Ana.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Ana has taken off the colorful wrap she had over her bathing suit, revealing how little she is now wearing. Once again her bathing suit is a two piece which makes me nearly fall to my knees at the site of her body. The bathing suit is a dark blue with hints of silver that can only be seen when the sun hits it just the right way. Although compared to most bikinis you see now a days Ana's bathing is quite modest, but it still manages to drive me crazy. When she turns to face me I nearly groan, the fabric hugs her perky breasts firmly but the style of the suit shows plenty of her cleavage. I can't help wondering what she is hiding underneath that top. What do her nipples look like? Are they dark? Are they light pink? Are they overly sensitive? I desperately try to draw my attention away from her chest knowing that if I don't, it's going to become very apparent to Ana what I'm thinking about her. As I look down, I follow her flat stomach down to the matching bikini bottoms that tie just below her hips. How easy do those knots come undone?

"Christian?" Ana pulls me from my wandering thoughts.

"Uh….I found the towels," thankfully they are covering my dick which has decided it wants to be noticed.

"Can you leave one on the chair for me?" she asks just before diving into the pool. Holding the towels over my raging erection, I awkwardly make my way to the lounge chairs at the side of the pool. I try to focus on anything other than Ana's body moving through the water; there's no way I can go into the water like this. Swim trunks do absolutely nothing to hide an erection apparently. After lying Ana's towel on the chair, I grab my phone and focus on emails. Sure enough after a few minutes of reading through a few emails, I have calmed down enough to be able to go into the pool without making Ana uncomfortable.

"Are you coming?" she pops up from the side of the pool.

Why is it those three words take on a completely different meaning for me right now?

"Put your phone down and come in Christian!"

Ana takes a gulp of water and sprays it all over my legs giggling as she swims away. I can't help but chuckle at Ana; no one else in their right mind would think to do something like that to me. Even Mia and Elliot wouldn't dream of spraying me with water when I have my phone in my hand. Yet, Ana does it. Of course she's careful enough not to get water on my phone but still…

"You asked for it," I put my phone down before running and jumping into the pool. I land a perfect cannon ball right next to Ana, effectively drenching her with water.

"Christian!" She laughs and tries to splash me with water but considering I'm already soaked it does nothing. Ana tries to swim to the other side of the pool as I try to splash her but instead I grab per ankle just as she is about to swim away. I pull her under the water, following her under water, pulling her down to the bottom before finally letting her go. When we both pop up from the water she surprises me yet again by spraying water in my face! This time, she takes advantage of my momentary surprise and swims to the other side of the pool. The pool really isn't that large, it's big enough to swim short laps across but not big enough for Ana to have many places to swim to. I dive under water, quickly swimming to wear she remains at the other end of the pool. I reach her in no time and pop up from the water clearly surprising her. When she tries to slide away from me, I put both of my hands on the edge of the pool surrounding her. She giggles in the realization that I have her trapped and instead of trying to escape she takes to splashing water at me. When the water splashes my face, I step closer to her decreasing the space between us so she can't splash me with water. She takes a step backwards, putting her hands between us to splash me again. I step closer to her again; her back is against the pool and there's only a matter of inches between us – certainly not enough space for her to get enough water to splash me with.

She stops laughing and looks up at me with a smile on her face that makes me forget anything else in the world exists. Seeing her this happy right now, makes me beyond happy. Seeing her smile makes me happy. After everything that she has been through, she deserves to be this happy. When Ana's hands find my arms, I realize just how close we are to each other. Our eyes meet, her breath hitches and she bites her bottom lip almost anxiously. Seeing her do that makes me want to bite her lip and it takes everything in me not to. I gently pull on her chin, releasing the lip from her grip. When she looks up at me, I don't know if what I'm seeing is me being hopeful or if she is actually asking me to kiss her. I take a chance and slowly lean towards her, giving her the opportunity to move away at any moment if I misread something. I don't know who makes the next move but when our lips meet once again all I can think about it getting closer to her. I wrap my arm around her back, and pull her against me for the first time feeling her nearly bare skin against mine. Her arms are around my neck, her hands tugging me closer to her as the kiss deepens. I run my hands over her body, enjoying the feel of her soft skin for the first time. She moans when I grasp her ass and pull her against me; my dick, once again awoken, is hard in between us. Our bathing suit bottoms are the only thing separating us, the only thing stopping me from sliding into her. I can't help but wonder what Ana would be like in bed. Does she scream when she comes or is she quiet? I know she would never enjoy what I do, but what does she enjoy? Our kiss becomes more urgent that it has ever been; more urgent than even the night we came home from The Mile High Club. The memory of that night brings reality back to smack me in the face; the realization that I can't fuck Ana has me slowly realizing I need to pull away from Ana. God, the sounds she makes though when we kiss makes it so hard to stop kissing her. With one final nip at the lip that she was biting only moments ago, I break our kiss but don't move to add space between us.

"Wow," Ana pants and it's only at that moment do I realize she is breathing just as fast as I am.

"Yeah," because my brain can't think of anything else to say. There are no words to describe what just happened; wow seems to be the only thing that comes to mind right now. I know I should move away and if I was a better man I would, but I'm not ready to let Ana go yet.

"I think I'm going to grab a bottle of water did you want one?" Ana asks quietly.

"Sure thanks."

Neither of us move for a few more minutes, but eventually Ana takes her hands down from my neck and squeezes my arms before I finally release her and watch her swim to the other side of the pool where the stairs are. I can't keep my eyes off of her as she climbs the stairs and walks away from the pool. She grabs the towel I left on the chair, drying herself off before going over to the outdoor fridge to grab two bottles of water. It takes me a few more minutes before I manage to get my dick under control again; I don't know how I'm going to last this week with Ana. We haven't even made it through our first day in Fiji without ending up in each other's arms. I don't know what we're going to do. How can I fuck her if I can't restrain her hands? She deserves better than that; she deserves a man who can worship her body as she lays, unrestrained, ready for him. She doesn't need someone as fucked up as I am; someone who can't sleep with women and who only fucks women hard without making any type of commitment to them. She deserves someone who is better than me; I don't deserve her.

"They brought dinner in while we were swimming," Ana pulls me from my negative thoughts.

I get out of the pool and wrap a towel around my waist before heading inside to change back into my clothes. I'm tempted to take an ice cold shower, or to relieve myself in the shower, but I don't think either of those things would help right now. I can't remember ever wanting a woman as much as I want Ana right now. And the hell of it all is the one woman I want is the one woman I can't have. How ironic is it that the woman who turns me on this much is the only woman I've ever been with who can't be restrained? It's like a big Fuck You from the universe.

"Did you want some wine? The wine fridge is stocked but the card at the table has a recommendation on it that it says will pair well with dinner," Ana says as I enter the kitchen. I'm relieved to see that she has also changed out of her bathing suit. She is now wearing a simple sun dress, but as always it's one that complements her body perfectly.

"I'm sure whatever they recommended is fine; this resort has some of the best chefs employed at it."

"Based on the lunch we had earlier I would have to agree."

We eat a delicious dinner and over the course of the next two hours we manage to finish the bottle of wine that was recommended to pair with our dinner. The conversation between us flows easily, but neither of us brings up what happened in the pool. I'm grateful it hasn't seemed to make things awkward between us; not that I expected it to since things didn't become weird between us after the last time things heated up between us.

"I think I'm going to go down to the beach," Ana says after placing the dishes back on the cart that the resort staff will come by later to take away.

"Would you like some company or…." I don't know if she prefers to be alone right now; I'm still trying to figure everything out about Ana. Although we've been living together for the last two weeks, there's still so much I don't know about Ana.

"If you're not too busy….I didn't want to keep you from your work if you need to do something?"

"No, I don't need to do anything," I assure her. "I'll be checking my emails a few times each day, but hopefully nothing will come up that requires too much of my attention. If it does though I will let you know."

"I'm going to grab a pair of flip flops."

She goes off into the bedroom, returning a few minutes later with her shoes on. We walk out back out towards the pool, this time walking past it and down the small sand trail which eventually leads to a beautiful beach. Each villa has its own private beach but the beaches are open to the other villas relying on guests respecting the boundaries. The beaches are all empty tonight, Ana and I seem to be the only guests on the beach tonight. I imagine earlier today the beaches were probably busy but seeing as the sun has set the air is cooler out.

"It's really beautiful out here Christian," Ana sighs as she looks out over the ocean.

"It really is," my eyes are only on Ana.

We walk up and down our little section of the beach before heading back up to the villa. We rinse the sand off our feet in the outdoor shower before heading back inside. When we return I'm surprised to find that I'm exhausted despite not really doing a lot today. Catching Ana yawning I realize I'm not the only one who is tired.

"I think I'm going to head to bed," Ana says a few minutes later.

"I was just thinking I might go to sleep as well."

"Are you….I mean….." I know she's trying to ask where I plan on sleeping tonight and until this moment I hadn't actually decided. Although last night we both slept well and neither of us had a nightmare, I can't stop worrying what will happen when I have a nightmare tonight. I never go more than one night without a nightmare, so that pretty much guarantees I will have one tonight. I'll never forgive myself if I hurt her because of my fucking nightmare. Ana has been hurt enough in her life, especially by that fucker she called a fiancé. She doesn't need to be hurt by me too. I'm ready to tell her that I will be sleeping on the couch, that it will be better for the both of us if I do, but when my eyes meet hers the decision is made for me.

"I need you to promise me that the moment my nightmare starts you will leave the bed. I can't….I will never forgive myself if I hurt you Ana. I just….I can't…."

"I promise Christian. If you have a nightmare I will leave the room immediately; I won't try to wake you up."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

Her eyes light up when she realizes that I'm agreeing that we are going to be sharing a bed tonight. I can only hope that I'm making the right decision because if I'm not this could cost me everything. If something happens because of my nightmare tonight it could ruin everything with Ana. I could lose the friendship I have with her; Ana truly is my only real friend.

"I'm going to get changed then," Ana heads off into her….I guess our bedroom. I follow her, grabbing a pair of shorts and a shirt to sleep in before heading to the guest bathroom to change.

I'm ready for bed before Ana is, which isn't a surprise since I didn't really have much that I needed to take care of. I tried stalling as long as I could and even considered getting some work done for GEH so I could come to bed after Ana but in the end I decided I needed to just do this. I need to find out if I can trust Ana enough to do as I asked and leave the room when I have a nightmare. I don't know that she understands what she is asking of me; she hadn't seen my nightmares, she has no idea how bad they get. I don't know why she wants me to sleep in the same bed as her; I could easily sleep on the couch in the living room which is very comfortable or even outside on the day bed under the stars. When I saw the look in her eyes I could tell that for whatever reason this was important to her so I agreed to share the bed with her tonight. I just hope…

"Fuck!"

It's only when Ana giggles that I realize I said that aloud. Ana comes out of the bathroom wearing….I don't even know what to fucking call it. She is wearing this dark blue….nightie I guess you would call it. The top portion….it's all lace, fuck….it covers more than her bathing suit did yet it so much fucking sexier. The lace is obviously placed just in the right areas so that her nipples aren't exposed, but I can still see the curves of her breasts. Once I tear myself away from her breasts, I see that the rest of the nightie is all silk, thankfully no longer see through, and fall just to the point that I can't tell if her panties match the nightie.

"I'm going to assume that Caroline was told you were taking me on a honeymoon?"

"Er….yeah she was. Why?"

"Well, let's just say my pajamas are all very….much what you would expect a bride to bring on a honeymoon."

"All of them are like that?" I gulp realizing that I'm doomed if I'm going to be sleeping next to Ana wearing something like this every night.

"No, not all of them," thank goodness. "A few are….more revealing."

"Fuck," I hiss.

"You said that already," she giggles but slides into bed next to me before turning the light off.

Tomorrow I need to send Taylor somewhere to buy Ana pajamas; if he can't find something, she can sleep in my t shirts every night. Maybe I should insist she change tonight-

"Good night Christian."

"Night Ana."

I'm screwed….I'm fucking screwed.

 _Author's Note: I doubt there will be an update on Monday unfortunately so it maybe Tuesday or Wednesday before I get the next chapter out. Hope you all enjoyed the first day of the honeymoon!_


	43. Chapter 42

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 42 CPOV:**

I wake up feeling very warm and am very surprised at the reason why. Curled up next to me is Ana; her head is next to mine, her chin resting on my shoulder and her leg is just over mine. When I finally managed to fall asleep very late last night, I was as far over on the one side of the bed as I could possibly be without falling out. I wanted to avoid touching Ana at all costs; it was hard enough to know what she was wearing under the blankets, I don't know how I would have handled actually touching her. Yet as I take in the bed this morning, I realize that we are both now lying in the middle of the bed and Ana's beautiful body is now wrapped around mine. I should get up; I should go start coffee or something and let Ana sleep. I should get out of bed before I do something stupid. I should-

"Hmmmmm," Ana moans in her sleep and cuddles even closer to me. Her arm is across my stomach, her hand resting on my hip as if she is trying to hold me to her. It doesn't sound like she is having a nightmare, but I can't help but worry nonetheless. I wrap my arm around her back, wanting to comfort her if she is about to have a nightmare, but thankfully she doesn't moan again or cry out.

Every time Ana and I have slept in the same bed, I've woken to find her in my arms; this is the first time that I've woken to find myself in her arms. I've never done this with a women; I've never…trusted someone to lay like this. I've never wanted to sleep with a woman before Ana or even cuddle like this. I've always been too worried to do this; I've always feared that they would accidently or purposely touch my chest. When I was debating whether or not I should share the bed with Ana last night, my focus wasn't on that she could touch me and was only focused on the possibility of me hurting her during a nightmare. I don't know what to think about that. I only trust a very small handful of people to not touch my back and my chest, but I don't think I would let any of them this close. In Ana's sleep she could have accidently touched my chest, especially considering her arm is around me right now. I know Ana wouldn't touch me there purposely but what if she did it while sleeping?

When I hear Ana's breathing change I realize that she is awake and probably taking in our sleeping positions just as I was doing a few minutes ago. I pull myself from the worried thoughts I was having and instead focus on how nice to feels to have Ana lying next to me like this. I gently rub her back with my hand, letting her know that I'm awake but not saying anything either. I glance at the clock, surprised to find that it's already after nine and that's when it hits me.

 _I didn't have a nightmare last night._

"No you didn't," she confirms which is when I realize I had spoken aloud.

I can't remember ever going two consecutive nights without having a nightmare; it's never happened. For years the nightmares were every night; sometimes multiple times a night especially when I was younger. Nothing helped; sleeping pills, different types of therapy, medication – nothing. Was last night a fluke? Was I just over tired from all the traveling? Could the time change have affected the nightmares somehow? Could it have been-

"Did you sleep okay?" Ana asks.

"I did, you?"

I don't admit that I slept fucking fantastic for the second night in a row. I can't admit that, not until I know the reason. I need to figure out what was so different about last night and the night before that caused me to sleep so fucking good. I need to figure it out so once we get back to Seattle I can continue doing it. I haven't slept this good….ever.

"I slept really good; it was nice hearing the ocean in the middle of the night," she says.

"It was."

"Christian," she leans up so she can look at me. "Thank you again for bringing me here, this is….so much more than I ever could have imagined for a honeymoon. I know I keep saying thank you and it doesn't seem like enough-"

"Shhhh, you don't need to thank me Ana."

"I just want you to know how much this trip means to me Christian. I really appreciate-"

I cut her off by kissing her; I've told her to stop trying to thank me but she won't stop so I shut her up by kissing her. I don't know why I kissed her instead of just telling her to stop; I wasn't thinking, I just did it. She giggles against my lips when she realizes what I've done but she doesn't make any attempt to stop me from kissing her. In fact, instead of stopping me she deepens the kiss. Her tongue is quickly at my lips seeking entry which of course I immediately grant her. My arm naturally tightens around her waist, bringing her even closer to me. I can't help but run my other hand up and down the side of Ana's body, feeling every inch of her that I reach from this position. When I reach her bare leg, I can't help but slowly slide my hand up her thigh until I reach the hem of the nightie she is wearing. I pause, not knowing if this is what she wants….hell not knowing if this is what I want.

"Mmmmmm," I moan, I fucking moan, when Ana cautiously takes my hand and urges me to continue exploring her body on the path that I was on. Her breathing hitches when my hand slips under her nightie and I grasp her ass gently loving the way it feels in my hand. Needing to feel her closer to me, I know I need to adjust how we are lying. Right now the only way for her to get closer to me is to be on top of me, which isn't going to happen. Instead, I roll onto my side gently moving Ana so she does the same. I don't know where the boldness comes from, but Ana wraps her arm around my lower back and gently pulls me closer to her as she rests her leg on mine. Our bodies are so close, there is no way that Ana can't know how turned on I am right now. My dick is fucking begging to come out but I don't dare do that. I don't know where this is exactly going right now, but I know fucking Ana isn't an option.

My hands return to exploring Ana's body; only this time I venture up her nightie rather than down. I cautiously take her breast in my hand, giving Ana every opportunity to stop whatever this is that is happening between us. Instead, Ana moans and pushes her chest against my hand. Motivated by her obvious enjoyment, I roll her hardened nipple between my thumb and finger. I've wondered how her breasts would feel like since the first time I saw her swimming in the pool at Escala. The reality is so much better than what I imagined. I don't know how things have gotten this far with Ana; I don't know how we've gotten to the point that we're lying in bed next to each other with my hands all over her body. We should stop; I should insist that after today I sleep on the couch. I don't want to complicate our already complicated arrangement but….it's already done. Things are already complicated between us, this….this just adds to it.

"Christian," she gasps when I pinch her nipple just the smallest amount and any thought of stopping is gone.

I can't help but groan when she starts moving against me; her breathing increases as she rocks herself against my dick. I know I'm rubbing against her clit with each movement; I'm so fucking tempted to destroy the barriers between us slide right into her. I can only imagine how good she would feel; just the thought of being inside of Ana has me nearly coming in my shorts. I've never been this turned on; I've never been ready to come so quickly. I pride myself in being able to withhold my own release for as needed, but right now I don't know how much longer I'm going to last and I'm not even fucking Ana! If Ana continues rubbing against me the way she is right now, I'm going to completely embarrass myself.

Realizing I need to do something, I reluctantly move my hand away from her nipples that were all but begging me not to stop, and I make my way back down her soft ass. I can tell she is wearing a thong and can only imagine that it must match her nightie perfectly. Ever so slowly, I slip my hand between us and tease Ana's clit with my fingers. I watch her reaction to ensure that nothing I'm doing is something she might not want, but when her breathing hitches at my intimate touch I know that she won't be pulling away anytime soon.

"Christian," when she pants my name I nearly lose it right then and there.

"I got you baby," I whisper before pulling her even tighter against me and slipping my hand into her damp thong. She moans and pushes herself against my hand the moment my fingers find her clit. I am so busy focusing on how fucking wondering Ana feels as she moves against my fingers, that I don't realize at some point she managed to get her arm between us until I feel her fingers tentatively wrap around my dick.

"Ana!" I hiss when she grasps me.

I need to focus on Ana and not on how her hand feels better on me than I ever could have imagined. No longer concerned that Ana might not want things to move in this direction between us, I slip my fingers through her wet folds before circling her opening with them.

"OH!" she cries out when I slip one finger into her throbbing sex. She is so tight, her walls are convulsing around me; she grips me tighter, stroking me faster as if she's trying to tell me what she needs from me. With my thumb on her clit, I slip another finger into her core and begin moving against her. We're both panting, the only sounds in that can be heard are our moans and groans as we both chase the release we desperately want. I can't remember the last time I just fooled around with a woman without actually fucking but right now…fuck it just feels fucking amazing.

I can tell Ana is getting closer to her release as her breathing picks up and her body tenses. Her walls start convulsing around me, trying to suck my fingers deeper into her sex. Yet through it all, she doesn't stop trying to please me. She's stroking my throbbing dick with her fingers tease my nuts every so often when I least expect it. I'm thrusting against her hand without even realizing it. It takes everything in me not to spill myself into Ana's hand but I refuse to come until she does.

"CHRISTIAN!" Adding a little more pressure to her throbbing clit has her coming apart, screaming my name second later. I've had women call out my name when they orgasmed, but nothing has ever sounded so amazing as hearing my name on Ana's lips when she is in the throes of an orgasm. I watch her, stunned at how sexy she looks when she comes. Her mouth forms this perfect O shape as her body continues to clench my fingers tightly, her orgasm not yet ready to end. All I can think is how amazing I bet she would feel if it was my dick inside of her instead of my fingers right now.

"Ana," I hiss and thrust one final time against her hand before finding my own release only seconds after she found hers.

I wrap my arms around Ana and pull her close against me, kissing her neck as we both try to regain control of our breathing. I can't fucking believe that just happened; I never thought….okay I wished….but never actually thought that would happen. Nothing has ever felt so fucking amazing. I've never cuddled with a woman; it's one of the advantages of the club, women there don't expect this sort of thing. I'd fuck her, make sure she was okay afterwards and then head back out to where Taylor would be waiting for me. Even with _her_ cuddling afterward was never expected; we would fuck and then go our separate ways. She knew my touch issues, so she never expected cuddling.

Yet with Ana, I'm the one who instigated the cuddling. It doesn't feel right to just walk away right now; this…what just happened felt so….different. I don't even know what to think about it. It just felt different; maybe it's because it was with Ana or maybe….

"I think I'm going to go take a shower," Ana whispers.

"Me too."

A few minutes pass before either of us pull apart, but eventually we separate and head to different bathrooms. I feel like I should say something about what just happened but I don't know what to say. I don't regret what just happened, I don't want Ana to think otherwise. I'm just not sure if it should happen again. I'm not sure if it's a good idea for things to become more complicated between us. Even if I didn't think it would complicate things between us how can we do _that_ again knowing it can't lead any further? At some point things would intensify between us and we would need to take things to the next level. I just can't see how that would work if I can't restrain her hands. Although her hands weren't restrained a few minutes ago-

FUCK!

Maybe I need to call Flynn while we're here; he offered to Skype with me, maybe I need to take him up on that option. When we were….doing whatever the hell we were doing a few minutes ago, I didn't even think to restrain her hands. She could have touched me; she could have forgotten in the heat of the moment and touched me. But she didn't…. Maybe it's because things weren't that intense yet between us. If we did end up fucking she might get too caught up in the moment, forget and touch me. It's been years since I've had to let someone touch my bare chest or back; I don't know how I would react. Even having someone touch it through a shirt hurts…it feels like I'm being burned all over again. What if it feels like that if Ana touches me? I can't risk it; I can't have her seeing how fucked up I really am.

When the water runs cold, I realize I've been in the shower too long and quickly wash up before turning off the water. I get dressed in the bathroom and head back out to the main area. I don't immediately find Ana which surprises me but a few minutes later I find her outside just sort of staring out at the ocean. I wonder what she's thinking about. Is she regretting what just happened? Does she think we should talk about it? Is she regretting asking me to share the bed last night? Should I insist on sleeping on the couch tonight?

"Oh there you are," Ana turns around and sees me standing behind her. "Did you know they give boat tours of the island? There's one that leaves in thirty minutes I was thinking of going on, did you want to go?"

"Um, sure that sounds nice," I'm surprised and a little taken back by how she's acting. It's as if nothing happened between us; I should be glad that she doesn't want to dwell on it but I'm not.

"If you have work to do or wanting to do something else-"

"No a boat tour of the island sounds nice. I'll change into swim trunks and then we can go."

"Great! I'm going to throw on a bathing suit too, the tour takes off from one of the main beaches so maybe we can go swimming afterwards."

"I think they serve lunch on the tour, but if not we can grab something afterwards."

We both change into swim attire before taking the golf cart that was left for us to the docking area. There is only a handful of people on the tour boat with us which is nice considering the boat isn't very large. As we walk around the small boat, I can't help but take Ana's hand in mine. I don't know what it is but I feel the sudden need to touch her. When I do, she immediately squeezes my hand almost as if she is thanking me although for what I don't know. Maybe she wanted to reach out to me but didn't feel comfortable after what happened this morning? I don't want to lose how comfortable we have become with that aspect of our arrangement.

"This is really beautiful," Ana gestures towards the rock beach that we are passing.

Ana and I are sitting sort of sideways on this bench seat watching the island as the tour guide explains everything that we are seeing. I'm too busy watching Ana to really listen to what he is saying or to take in very much of what we are seeing. This morning was a wakeup call, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking when I thought this arrangement could remain strictly platonic between us. This stopped becoming a business transaction a long time ago, but I hadn't expected this part of the arrangement. Up until the night we went to The Mile High Club, I thought the physical attraction was all on my part. I didn't think Ana would be interested in anything beyond the terms of our arrangement. That night everything changed between us but once I realized I could never bound her hands I thought it would end. But the opposite happened, things between us intensified and then this morning happened.

"You okay?" Ana asks.

"I'm fine," I lie.

"Don't over think things Christian," she leans in and whispers even though I don't think anyone is paying much attention to us.

"I'm not," I lie again.

"Don't regret what happened, please don't regret it," her voice is shaky as she quietly begs me.

"I don't Ana, I promise you I don't," I pull her against me and wrap my arms around her. Her back is against my chest; I watch her close her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again to look out at the water.

I don't know what changed, but when we get off the boat things are sort of back to normal between us. We stay on the main beach area, grabbing lunch from one of the restaurants and bringing it back to our chairs opting to eat on the beach rather than inside. We chat about everything and anything, but neither of us bring up what happened this morning. We don't necessarily avoid the topic, it just doesn't come up. I stop trying to analyze what happened and just enjoy spending the day with Ana.

We spend the day out of the villa, swimming and exploring the island. Ana spends most of the day in another tiny bikini that Caroline seems to have packed for her. The bikini drives me more crazy today than it did yesterday, although I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I know what she feels like beneath the bikini…

"Shit Ana you're sunburned!" I gasp as we walk back to the golf cart and I notice the strap from her top has moved showing a white line against her red shoulder.

"Really?" she looks at her shoulder.

"Let's stop and get something to put on that," I suggest.

"Actually there was stuff in the bathroom already."

"Okay, let's get back to the villa and get something on that. I thought you put suntan lotion on earlier?" I swear I saw her spraying stuff on her back when we first got to the beach.

"I did…I guess it wasn't strong enough."

We stop at the store and pick up the most powerful suntan lotion they have, several bottles of it along a few bottles of lotion that promises to ease the burn of Ana's skin. She laughs at me when I put all the bottles next to the register; I know I bought too much but I want to make sure we have enough covered for the rest of our trip so this doesn't happen again.

 _Author's Note: Hope the first lemon of the story doesn't disappoint! I didn't expect to be able to write today but my schedule changed significantly which freed up a few hours to allow me to finish this chapter and to add another one to Complications._


	44. Chapter 43

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 43 APOV:**

The golf cart ride back to our villa is short but every bump causes the fabric of my cover up to rub against my sunburn making me wince each time. I hadn't realized the sun was so strong or that the suntan lotion I put on this morning had worn off or wasn't strong enough for the sun of the island. When we get back to the villa, I go in the bathroom and remove the offending cover up and realize that my entire back is as sunburned as my shoulders are. I put as much of the lotion on as I can before realizing that I'm going to need help seeing that I can't reach my most of my back. I step out into the bedroom and glance at the bed, immediately reminded of the morning that we spent in it.

This morning was….shocking to say the least. When I asked Christian to share the bed with me, his comfort was not my only reason for doing so. I hate to admit that I was being a little selfish in wanting him to sleep next to me. I've never felt so….safe as I do when I sleep next to him. I loved how it felt when he held me after my nightmare and initially thought I only felt safe because I had just had a nightmare. But when we slept on the plane, I realized that he makes me feel safe just by being next to me. Last night was no exception and even though I don't understand why simply sleeping next to him makes me feel that way I like that I feel that way. It's been a really long time since I've gone to sleep feeling safe at night. Even when I lived alone, I never really felt safe. Things changed a little when I first moved into the penthouse with Christian; having security there made me feel safer, but nothing compares to how I feel in Christian's arms.

I was quite taken back by the pajama selection that was packed for me; at first wondering if it was Christian's doing hoping that something would happen between us. But then I remembered he had a personal shopper arrange for everything to be purchased for our trip. I had no doubt he would have had to tell that person that we were going on a honeymoon or at least that he was taking his girlfriend/fiancé on a romantic getaway. I picked the most tasteful nightie that was packed to wear for our first night. When I put it on I was so unsure if I should wear it; in fact I almost took it off and changed it for a t shirt or something else. However when I looked in the mirror, I changed my mind. Who knew that something as simple as a nightie could make you feel sexy? I felt sexy and confident; something I haven't felt in a really long time. Suddenly, _his_ voice was gone from my head. I no longer heard _him_ telling me how fat I was, how ugly I was or how unattractive I was.

"Ana?" Christian knocks on the door pulling me from my memories of this morning.

"I was just going to come to find you," I open the door to find him standing there, wearing a pair of casual shorts and a short sleeve shirt.

"Oh? Everything okay?"

"Can you help me? I can't reach…." I hold up the bottle of lotion.

"Of course. Where did you want….?"

"I think I should lay on the bed, if you untie the straps it'll make it easier for you."

"Okay, sure."

I climb on the bed and lay on my stomach, Christian climbs on the bed putting the lotion and towel next to me. With my chest pressed against the bed, I reach behind me and untie the straps of the bathing suit to make it easier for Christian. He seems to have difficulty finding a comfortable position and finally ends up sort of straddling my thighs.

"Wow that's cold," I hiss when he first pours some of the lotion on my back.

"Sorry."

Instead of pouring more lotion directly on my back, he pours it into his hands and then rubs it on my back which warms the lotion a bit so it doesn't feel so cold. Whatever is in this lotion is amazing because it instantly numbs my sunburn.

"Can I ask you something Ana?"

"Sure," I answer although I'm a little hesitant. I don't want him to ask something about this morning; I don't want to hear that he regretted what happened between us this morning. I never expected to wake up practically on top of Christian this morning, but it felt so nice to have his arm around me holding me close to him. I'm still not sure how we went from him kissing me to stop me from thanking him to full blown making out. I don't know how it happened but it felt so…..different than anything I've ever experienced before. Granted I have shit to compare it to, but still it felt….just different than anything I've ever experienced. When we were on the boat earlier today I knew he was thinking about it; I could tell he was having seconds thoughts because he seemed to pull away from me on the trip. I can only assume he is worried that we just fucked things up between us; hell I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about that. All I know is that this morning, it just felt….right. I've never felt so connected to someone as I did to Christian this morning. My only fear is what that's going to mean over the next two years. The thing is, after everything that Christian has already done for me….I can easily see myself falling for him. Hell, I think I'm half way there already. I'm scared to death where that will leave me in two years when we get a divorce.

 ** _** Trigger Warning **_**

"How come it doesn't bother you when I touch your scars?" his hands pause over my lower back, just above the waistband of my bikini bottoms. The way his hands are positioned, his fingertips are barely touching one of my more prominent scars. I know where each scar is and what caused each one; I can never forget they are there or how they got there.

"I don't know. It's never bothered me when someone touched them, I guess because they've been there for so long? I don't know…." I realize my answer doesn't help Christian; he's had his scars since he was much younger than I was when I got mine yet I don't mind having his hands on them right now whereas he would never be able to tolerate it.

"Are they all from….him?"

"No, actually most of them aren't. There's a few, like this one," I take his hand and lower it to my hip where there's a v shaped scar. "This one was from where I hit the corner of his desk. This one," I bring his hand to the middle of my back, "is from a bookshelf. The small really light ones over here….those were from a mirror breaking against my back."

"God Ana….I swear if I ever get my hands on that bastard…."

"Christian, he's not worth it. Trust me, he isn't worth anything."

"You have other scars…" he says a few minutes later. He continues to rub the lotion into my back even though I'm pretty sure he is already covered ever section of my back already.

"This one," I pull my bikini bottoms down about an inch so he can see the dotted scar. "One of my mother's boyfriends…or maybe it was a husband, I can't be sure; hit me with one of her belts."

"Fuck."

"I was six, maybe seven, it was the first time one of her men hit me. I…knocked over his bottle of beer when I was dragging my blanket on the floor heading to my room. He flipped out. He grabbed the first thing that he could reach which was my mother's studded belt….he….held me down, lifted up my nightgown and hit me with it."

"What did you mother do?"

"She told him to stop and sent me to my room."

"She didn't kick him out?"

"No, you see he was her meal ticket. She wasn't working so she couldn't just pack us up and leave; she needed him."

"God Ana, I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing you can do Christian. It was what it was; like I said it was a long time ago."

"What happened to her?"

"My mother?"

"Yeah…you had said you never saw her after...that night."

"She's dead."

"Oh….I'm-"

"Please don't say you're sorry again Christian," I sigh. "A few weeks after she…after that night, I came home from school one day, did my homework and just before I was about to go to sleep a cop knocked on the door of the trailer. They were killed in a car accident in Florida the week prior and had only just learned that I existed to inform me."

"How did you manage when they were gone? You were so young…"

"It wasn't like I was used to having someone take care of me so it wasn't very different from I what was used to. I ate the little bit of food we had in the trailer, trying to make it last as long as possible. I received free breakfast and lunch at school so I really only had to worry about dinner. There was stale cereal in the cabinets and a few boxes of stuff I was able to make. I don't know how long it would have lasted if the cop hadn't come that night."

"What happened after that?"

"He was obviously surprised to find me living there alone so he had to call child protective services. I spent a few nights in a group home before they found a living relative who would take me in."

"That's how you ended up in New York?"

"Yes, my….grandmother lived in upstate New York. She caused the rest of the scars you see on my back-"

"FUCK Ana! Didn't you ever get a break?"

"No," I admit. "I mean…not really. When I went to college things were much better; I only had to deal with my grandmother when I came home on school breaks."

"But then you lost your scholarship."

"I did," I shake my head remembering how close I was to my ticket out of her house only to have it yanked from me. "It was like the universe was playing an evil trick on me. I was right there…"

"Only to have it taken away from you," he finishes my sentence. "Your grandmother couldn't help you cover the tuition?"

"Oh she could if she wanted to; the lady had more money than she ever knew what to do with."

"Why didn't she pay for it then? Even if it was just to get you out of her house? I mean….it doesn't sound like she wanted you there to begin with."

"She didn't, want me that is. She only took me in because she was afraid of how it would look that she let her only granddaughter grow up in the foster care system rather than come to live with her. She never let me forget that she didn't want me there. She wouldn't pay for my education because as she said it wasn't her responsibility. She took care of my basic needs: I had a roof over my head, food to eat and clothes to wear. That was where her responsibility ended."

"God Ana..."

"She hated me and she made sure I knew it. I think she hated my mother so much that she took her anger out on me. I couldn't do anything right as far as she was concerned. My grades were perfect in high school, perfect Christian as in a 3.9 GPA, yet it wasn't good enough. She punished me for anything and never believed anything I said. If I came home late from school because one of the activities ran late she would insist I was out with a boy. She always told me I would end up like my mother; no man would ever love me and I would be good for nothing but a fuck."

"Ana-"

"You want to know the irony of that? I'm not even good at that!"

"What? What do you mean you're not even good at that?"

SHIT! I didn't mean to say that part aloud. Christian wasn't supposed to hear that. I don't say anything, not wanting to even go there with him. Christian shifts off of my back and lies next to me in the bed, still rubbing my back.

"Ana….Ana….please talk to me," he shifts so he is a little closer to me. I'm too embarrassed to look at him; I still can't believe I said that to him. "What makes you think you aren't good…in bed?"

"Because….that's what he would tell me…constantly," I whisper still not looking at him.

"Your ex?" I nod. "The man who supposedly loved you, who wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, told you that you were bad in bed?"

 ** _** Trigger Warning **_**

I never realized how ridiculous it sounded until Christian said it but what he said was still the truth.

"Ana…."

"The first time we slept together….it….everything seemed fine. But then he…he had problem….finishing. He kept…." I can't believe I'm seriously having this conversation with Christian. "He couldn't keep going…he told me it was my fault. At first he said it was because I was fat and ugly but then….then he started saying it was because I was a horrible fuck. That I didn't know what I was doing, that I wasn't making it enjoyable for him, that I didn't turn him on."

"Fuck Ana," I can hear the anger in Christian's voice and his body tenses next to me. I never wanted him to know these things. I never expected there to be a reason for him to know about this part of my life. "Surely the other guys you were with-"

I shake my head embarrassed even more.

"There weren't any other guys…"I whisper in admission.

"This asshole is the only man that….you've ever…?"

"Yeah."

"Ana, come here," he tries to pull me closer to him but I'm lying on my stomach so only my side is pressed against his. His fingers comb through my hair and he slowly urges me to turn my head so I'm facing him. I'm so embarrassed, I can't look him in the eye. I never told anyone those things; I told all the counselors about the physical abuse but I was always too embarrassed to tell them the rest. How do you tell a perfect stranger that you suck in bed? "Trust me, Ana, the problem was all him and not you."

"You don't know that Christian," I shake my head.

"I do Ana," he lifts my chin up so I'm forced to look at him. "This morning…that proved just how wrong he was."

Except he had no issues the first time we were together either, but I don't say that. I want to believe Christian, but _his_ voice is always going to be in the back of my head haunting me. When you get told something over and over again, how do you not believe it?

"If I ever get my hands on him Ana, I swear I'll make him pay for what he did to you. I hate that even years later he still has you doubting yourself."

"It's not that different from what your ex did to you Christian."

"It's very different. She never….she never made me second guess my performance. She didn't have a reason to."

"Maybe not, but she did things that still make you second guess yourself."

"No-"

"Christian, face it both of our ex's did a number on us. Combined with our pasts….it really makes us quite a pair."

"Maybe that's what makes us such good….friends; we have so much in common in that sense."

"Maybe."

"I swear Ana, I will never let anyone hurt you again."

"You can't guarantee that Christian," especially in two years when we go our separate ways. "I don't want to dwell on the past; we can't change what happened. Right now, I want to focus on being here and enjoying this amazing place you have brought me to. This trip has been nothing I ever expected; please don't let what I said ruin it."

"Nothing could ruin this trip Ana."

He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips; it's awkward at this angle and I want to move so I can be closer to him as my bathing suit top is still untied I'm very limited as to how I can move.

"How's your back feel?" I'm thankful for the change in topic.

"Much better, thank you. I think I'm going to get changed."

"I'm going to check my email before coming to bed."

Before leaving the bedroom, Christian grabs my silk robe off the bathroom door and hands it to me since I don't have my top on yet. Getting changed into my pajamas I feel much less confident than I did last night. I hate that I let _him_ get to me while Christian and I are here; I hate that I have scars that made Christian ask those questions, not that I can blame him. I hate that things were going so well since we've been here and then I let _him_ get to me again. I'm tempted to go find the clothes I wore on the plane and just sleep in those. I don't though, because that would mean that _he_ would win again. I need to stop letting him get to me. _His_ voice isn't always there but when it is there I have to fight to get rid of it. So instead of finding something else to wear, I go through the nightwear that Caroline packed for me and found one that isn't too revealing. Some of the outfits she packed….wow….I don't know that I'll be able to wear them on this trip. Don't get me wrong, they're absolutely gorgeous but I don't see myself wearing something that is completely see through to bed. Maybe if this was a typical honeymoon, but it's anything but that. Instead, I opt for a grey nightgown which I slip on along with the matching thong that it comes with. Looking in the mirror I start to feel a little better; the outfit is obviously designed to complement a woman's curves. Like the nightgown I wore last night, the top of this one is all lace, but instead of it being a band that covers all of my chest, this one is more like a bikini top. The lace covers my breasts, thankfully ensuring my nipples aren't too obvious but has a plunging neckline that leaves the dress open between my breasts. The thin, light fabric comes together under my breasts and ends just at my upper thigh. It's a little shorter than what I wore last night, but there's not much I can do about that. I throw back on my silk bathrobe, not wanting to walk around the villa in this outfit, before heading out to the main area.

"We've made the front page of nearly every gossip site in and around Seattle," Christian says when I finally find him sitting outside on the patio.

"Oh? Good or bad?" After the conversation we just had I'm almost afraid to ask.

"See for yourself," he hands me his laptop and pats the daybed so I can sit next to him.

 _"We never thoughts we would see the day….Seattle's own, billionaire playboy, Christian Grey is married! We thought this was a joke, that someone had hacked into GEH's email server however we have confirmed the news with GEH's chief operating officer Rosalyn Baily, that the company's CEO, Christian Grey, is in fact married. Roz confirms that she was in attendance for the nuptials which occurred sometime last week. GEH released a statement confirming that Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, the beautiful woman he has been seen with for the last few months, were indeed married last week. Other than Rosalyn Bailey confirming the marriage, no one at GEH would answer any of our questions or return our phone calls. We have to wonder….what led Christian Grey to suddenly change his ways? What is it that Anastasia Steele has that no other woman has? How did she finally get the billionaire playboy to settle down? And why so quickly? Could she be pregnant? Could that be the reason for the quick marriage? Rest assured Seattle, we are on top of it and will be watching to see if a baby bump appears in the very near future!"_

"Oh God, they think I'm pregnant," I burst out laughing. Of all the things I thought they would say about me, suspecting I was pregnant was not one of them. If only they knew that pregnancy wasn't even a possibly considering Christian and I haven't had sex!

"Most of the articles are like this one; a few actually published the picture that was included in the press release," he clicks on the laptop and another window appears with a picture of us. The picture looks amazing, it was one that was taken during the ceremony and is at such an angle that the rocks and ocean can be seen in the picture. What surprises me the most about the picture is how….authentic Christian and I look. I remember standing before the officiant not being able to concentrate on anything he said because Christian was all I could think about. I remember being so nervous the morning of our wedding; not because I was questioning my decision to marry Christina but I was worried that the press and everyone wouldn't believe we were getting married because we loved each other. What's interesting is in that picture, neither of us looks nervous at all. In fact, if I didn't know any better I would think the picture was taken during a real wedding. I think what surprises me the most is the way Christian I looking at me in the picture; I try reading into it further but I'm not really sure what it looks like. Maybe it's just a look of appreciation for what we are doing? Or gratitude?

"I think the picture my PR department used for the press release was a good one," Christian says.

"It turned out nice," I agree.

"The sky is so clear out here at night," Christian says after a few minutes of silence. "I'm usually so busy in Seattle I don't get a chance to look at the stars very often. When I came out here, I was waiting for my laptop to start up I laid back and just looked at the stars."

"They are really clear."

"Here, lay back," he puts the laptop on the table next to us before moving over so I can lay back with him. Lying here, listening to the waves crashing in the background, looking at the stars above us…it's so easy to forget the real world exists. It's as if we are the only two people in the world; that our pasts don't matter.

 _Author's Note:_ _This was a very heavy chapter to write…very emotional. I know so many of you were hoping for another lemon but I wanted to bring Ana and Christian a little closer before that happens. Hope you enjoyed reading a little more about Ana's past._


	45. Chapter 44

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 44 APOV:**

"It's so peaceful out here," I sigh looking up at the perfectly clear sky. "It's hard to believe that anyone else is on this island right now."

"It was one of the things that caught my attention when my travel agent recommended this island. They only have 14 couples staying here at any time, even when you consider the staff that work here it doesn't add up to very many people. Especially with how large this island is. She also recommended a few other places but I didn't think they could compare in terms of privacy that this place could offer. They were all nice, don't get me wrong, but some just seemed like you were right on top of the other guests. I wanted us to have a chance to get away from reporters or even other guests who might want to sell our pictures and stories about us to the press."

"I think this was the perfect choice."

I don't know how long we lay like that, both of us just staring at the sky and listening to the waves of the ocean crash on the beach below us. Peaceful doesn't even begin to describe how being out here feels; I could easily fall asleep under the stars without worrying about anything. It's just so relaxing and the sound of the ocean in the distance is soothing. You can tell the resort was designed to take advantage of these little things; I've never heard of a resort putting a bed outside but lying here right now it all makes perfect sense. It's so relaxing and quiet that I know if I don't get up soon I'm going to end up falling asleep out here.

"I should head to bed," I say after yawning.

I start to sit up but Christian grasps my hand gently and pulls me back down. I lay back, his arm under my neck and instead of looking up at the stars he is now looking at me, his head just above me. We stare at each other for what feels like several minutes, before Christian moves closer to me and captures my lips in his. The kiss starts of gentle, but quickly becomes something more, like most of our kisses do any more. Within seconds, our hands are all over each other, one of his working on untying my robe while I run my through his hair. With him lying over me like this, I really wish I could just my hands down his chest or his back but I know that's not an option. Instead I tug at his hair and grasp the arm that is holding him over me as he ravishes my mouth. He groans and pulls away from me when he finally succeeds in untying my robe. He cautiously pulls back the robe, his eyes never leaving mine almost as if he is worried that I'm going to stop him. I'm too busy trying to figure out how to breathe again to stop him from doing anything right now.

"God Ana, you're so fucking beautiful," he says as he looks down at me taking in my outfit for the first time. Last night was more of a quick glance before I came to bed, tonight though I feel like he is really looking at my outfit. I don't need to look down to know the nightie has ridden up quite a bit; I wouldn't be surprised if he can see the matching thong I'm wearing right now especially since it barely covered it to begin with. His hand gently runs down the length of my nightie before slowly heading back up towards my face. This simple touch has my body heating up within seconds, turning me on more than I even thought was possible without even touching my bare skin.

He looks at me for permission when his hand reaches the lace barely covering my breasts; I nod in answer to his unasked question. His lips are back on mine just as his hand slips beneath the lace fabric, cupping my breasts. I can't hold back the moan when he teases my nipple with his fingers; my body feels like it is on fire right now. I've never been so turned on in my life; I've never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with Christian right now. The thought though freaks me out; I don't know how that would work between us. There's no way I could let Christian restrain my hands; even though I trust him entirely, I just can't see myself not freaking out when he even tried to restrain me. What happened the last time he even just held my wrists with his hand proves that I'll never be able to handle being restrained. I understand why Christian needs it though; I don't know that I could trust myself not to touch him when things get too hot between us. It's hard enough not to touch him right now and we're both fully clothed.

Christian shifts his weight, pulling me from my thoughts that were threatening to ruin the moment. One of his legs is between mine and he is now directly above me instead of lying next to me. One of his hands continues teasing my throbbing nipple; he slowly moves the other hand to find mine. I hold my breath waiting to see what he's going to do; instead of holding my wrists above my head like he did last time he simply intertwines his fingers with mine and holds my hand. His unsure eyes find mine and I'm overcome with an incredible need to tell him how much it means to me that he didn't hold my wrists. I don't feel like he's restraining my at all especially since he's not holding my tightly. Instead of telling him how I feel, since I don't trust myself to put it into words, I lean up closing the distance between us until my lips find his again.

His hand slips from my breast and roams my body, feeling every inch that he can possibly reach in this position. I long to do the same to him, but I settle for the few areas I know I can touch on him: his hair, his neck and his arms. Christian's lips leave mine; he slowly places little kisses down my neck before shifting his wait again so he slides down me a little further. As he moves, I can feel his hardness against my thigh leaving me no doubt that I'm not the only one affected by what we're doing right now. Knowing how he feels right now, knowing that he is turned on right now, erases the doubts I had earlier when I was getting changed.

"Christian…." I gasp when his lips find my bare nipple. He squeezes my hand before releasing it to pull the other side of my nightie away so both of my breasts are exposed to the cool night air. He alternates between both nipples; sucking and nipping at both of them leaving me a writhering mess beneath him. When his other hand slips between my legs I nearly lose it.

"I love how responsive you are," he whispers pulling away from my nipples momentarily. I blush at the bluntness of his words. He takes one of my nipple back in his mouth, but his eyes don't leave mine when his hand moves my thong aside so he can explore my sex. I'm more turned on than ever before; I never knew it could be like this, that it could feel this….amazing. It's so different than anything I've ever felt before; I don't know if it's because it's not _him_ or if it's because of Christian.

Christian shifts his weight again, this time sliding down me further; he places light kisses long my nightie, pulling it up a little when he reaches the end of it. He kisses my bare stomach, his tongue traces the outline of my thong against my skin. His fingers find the ties on the side of thong; he tugs at them gently until they come untied. He lifts his head from me, looking down our eyes meet. This time I don't know what Christian is hoping to see; maybe he's waiting for me to tell him that I'm not comfortable with moving things forward between us. I don't tell him that; I can't tell him that. Because right now, the only thing I'm thinking is how amazing I think it would feel if Christian were to make love to me. I know we're not there yet and we may never get there, but that doesn't stop my mind from thinking about it. When Christian realizes I'm not going to tell him to stop, he lowers himself until his lips once again find my bare skin.

With a quick flick of his wrist, the fabric of the thong is pushed away, leaving me completely exposed to him. I can't help but blush even more when I realize how open I am right now; I've never had a guy this close to me. I gasp in surprise when Christian's kisses move lower until I feel his tongue exploring my sex. His hands are on my thighs, opening me even further to him as he explores every inch of me. I'm grasping the blanket below me as his actions push me to a whole new level.

"Christian!" I can't help but cry out when he takes my clit into his mouth and begin sucking on it. I'm on the edge of what is likely going to be the biggest orgasm of my entire life; of course I've only had a handful in my entire life but I can tell this one is different. Everything with Christian is different; everything he does feel different.

When he slips two fingers into me and presses up, hitting that spot deep inside of me, I lose it. I come apart screaming his name embarrassingly loud. Christian's mouth soon replaces his fingers, his tongue thoroughly exploring my core. I just start to come down from my orgasm when Christian's fingers find my clit once again.

"Christian….I….can't…." I pant as my body goes into complete sensory overload.

"You taste even better than I imagined Ana."

Not only does the bluntness of his words take me by surprise, but I'm also taken back by the fact that he is saying he imagined doing…this. I knew things were changing between us after we went to the Mile High Club, but after what happened that night I thought things would never move further between us.

"OH!" I gasp when he latches back onto my clit, bringing me right back to the edge which surprises me. Even with the handful of orgasms I've had, I've never had more than one; yet Christian seems to have found a way to bring me right back there.

"Christian….." I moan when his one hand reaches up to find my breast, his fingers immediately begin teasing my nipple while his other hand is on my sex. I'm back to clutching the blankest below me; my body moves against Christian on its own accord. I'm completely overwhelmed with need….

"Come for me baby," Christian slips two fingers inside of me, thrusting deep until he hits that spot that causes me immediately to fall apart. I let go of the blanket, instead holding Christian's head against me as I ride out another intense orgasm. With one final nip at my sensitive nub, which causes me to moan again, Christian's mouth moves down further, his tongues teasing my opening before thrusting inside. He hands hold my thighs open as he takes his time taking in the evidence of my orgasm. He takes his time, as if he could lie between my legs all night, exploring me thoroughly before slowly kissing his way back up to me. He lays next to me, pulling me close to him before kissing me deeply. I can still taste myself on his lips but I'm not quite sure what I think about that. He doesn't say anything, but slips his arm under my pillow before urging me to roll on my slide. Once I do, he pulls me closer to him with my back to his chest and rests his arm across my stomach. Neither of us say anything, not because there is an awkwardness between us but because there isn't a need to say anything. I can feel his hard erection against my lower back; I reach between us easily finding it, wanting to return the favor.

"Ana you don't-"

"I know," I roll over so we are facing each other. Reaching between us again, I let my fingers slide through the hair on his stomach just under the hem of the shirt he is wearing. He hisses when I slip my fingers just under the waistband of the shorts he is wearing. I lean into him, kissing him deeply, the need to make him feel like he just made me feel is overwhelming. He groans when I slide my hand into his shorts and grasp his erection. Moving slowly, I gently urge him to lay on his back. When he realizes what I'm doing his eyes fly open and I immediately know what he's thinking.

"I won't touch you there, I promise," I whisper trying to reassure him but also asking for his trust.

His breath his shaky when he takes it in, but he nods and slowly turns so he is lying on his back. I lay next to him, just like he did to me not that long ago, and I bring my lips back to his. The kiss is hesitant at first, I know he is still worried that I'm going to touch his chest. I slowly stroke his erection as I deepen the kiss, trying to bring his attention back to the here and now and away from his past. When he moans against my lips, I know that I've got him where I want him.

Although I want to kiss my way down his body the way he did mine, I know that's not possible. Instead I nip at his each, kiss his neck and then lower myself on the bed until I reach his lower stomach. I don't exactly know where his boundaries are, we've never discussed where I could touch him and until now I've avoided even touching his stomach just to be safe. Right now though I want to touch him anywhere he will let me. When I push his shirt up even just a fraction of an inch, his breathing stops.

"Is this okay?" I ask; I look at him, trying to convey that he can trust me but I don't know that he understands what I'm trying to tell him.

He doesn't answer with words, but slowly nods his head after a minute or so of silence. I bring his shirt up just a little higher and kiss his stomach. He finally lets out the breath he was holding when I start kissing lower, having realized that I have no intention of touching his chest. I gently push his shorts down, eased when Christian lifts himself to help me.

"Ana…." He moans the moment I take his erection in my mouth. I've only tried this once before, and…well let's just say it was yet another thing that _he_ said I wasn't good at. It's hard not to think about that right now; it's hard not to worry that Christian won't enjoy what I'm doing.

"Fuck!" he hisses when I wrap my hand around him, stroking him as I explore him with my tongue. I can feel every ridge, every vein of his erection as it slides in and out of my mouth. Motivated by his increased breathing and groaning, I start moving faster and taking him as deep as I can. His hands are fisting the blanket the same way mine where only a few minutes ago. I take this as a sign that he is enjoying what I'm doing and I step it up a notch. I suck him in deeper, this time letting him hit the back of my throat and I swallow around him.

"Holy Shit Ana!" he gasps and thrusts into me nearly causing me to gag.

Finding something he obviously seems to enjoy, I continue with the technique alternating with stroking him with my hand as I pull him from my mouth. Each time I take him in deep, I swallow around him and his body tenses in response. When I feel his balls tighten in my hand I know he's getting close to finding his release. This pushes me further, wanting, or maybe needing, to know that I can satisfy Christian and that _he_ wasn't right.

"Oh…..Fuck Ana….I'm….I'm going to….if you don't want…." He pants as he tries to form the words to warn me of what I know is about to happen. I don't falter my approach though and the next time I take him in deep and swallow around him he calls out name. I love hearing him call my name as he finds his release; I love that it's not a curse word or some other word coming from his mouth…instead it's my name on his lips. I take everything as he empties himself into me before releasing him. I climb back onto the bed, being sure to lie on my side next to him so he doesn't think I'm going to touch him. I don't want to ruin this moment by sending his anxiety through the roof again.

"That was….holy shit Ana….your mouth felt so good on me," he whispers before kissing me deeply.

"As did yours on me," I blush as I admit how amazing what he did felt.

"Roll over," he requests.

I roll onto my back so we are lying like we were before with my back to his chest. He reaches down and pulls the blanket over us before lying back down next to me. His one arm is under my pillow while the other rests across my stomach. I can feel his still sort of hard dick against my ass which is when I realize that neither of us are wearing any underwear. I should find mine and put them on or at least encourage Christian to pull his shorts back up. But when he leans over and kisses my cheek, I stop thinking about changing anything that is happening right now. Instead I just relish the feeling of how it feels to have Christian's arms around me.

"Ana? Ana wake up…." I hear a voice pulling me from a deep sleep.

"Hmmmmm?" I moan without opening my eyes, not quite ready to wake up.

"Ana! Come on wake up, we have to leave in a few minutes!"

"Hmmmm?" I reluctantly open my eyes to find Christian kneeling in front of me. It takes me a moment to realize that I'm still outside on the bed where we….last night. The memory of last night comes rushing back to me and I feel my face blush deeply.

"I put a set of clothes in bathroom for you, I need you to changed and do anything else you need to do so we can leave in a few minutes."

"It's still dark out, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, go get dressed."

I reluctantly sit up and stretch, at which point my bathrobe opens and I watch Christian's eyes fly to my chest. I look down, thankful that at least my breasts didn't pop out of the nightie and tie my bathrobe back up before standing up. Christian takes my hand as I step from the platform that the bed is on.

"I can't believe we slept outside all night," I can't even remember falling asleep but obviously at some point we did.

"I didn't want to wake you to bring you inside and since it wasn't cold I figured it wouldn't hurt to spend the night out here."

"What time is it anyway?"

"Just before five."

"UGH."

"Go get changed, don't worry about breakfast we'll be having that in a little while."

Christian escorts me to the bedroom with his hand on my lower back the entire time. I'm keenly aware that I'm not wearing any underwear under my nightly. If Christian knows this he doesn't say anything about it.

"I think I found everything you should need, it's on the bathroom sink. I have coffee started but we need to leave in a few minutes if we're going to be there on time."

"I'll be quick."

Christian grabbed everything I would need to change into including panties and a bra which makes me blush, although it really shouldn't given what happened between us last night. I quickly change into the capri shorts and short sleeve shirt that he picked out before using the bathroom and brushing my teeth. I throw my hair into a ponytail, not able to do much more with it without taking a shower. When I'm done Christian is waiting for me in the kitchen with a small cup of coffee. I don't tell him I need something about twice this size right now because of how tired I am. I don't know what time we fell asleep last night but I know it was late.

Christian drives the golf cart to another section of the island that we haven't yet been to. As we drive up a long dirt driveway I see horse stables and several horses in a fenced in area.

"Are we going horseback riding?" I ask in surprise.

"If you're up for it, yes."

"Oh! I've always wanted to ride!"

"You've never ridden a horse?"

"No. Have you?"

"Many times….more times than I can probably count."

That's the difference between growing up with money and growing up without any. My mother never could have afforded anything like this when I was growing up. Even if she had extra cash, it was never spent on me. It always been to alcohol or drugs or whatever else she thought was needed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired," I lie and try to push the thoughts out of my head.

After a quick lesson, I'm on a calm horse slowly walking down a hill following Christian. Thankfully the horse seems to know where it's going and I don't have to do very much. We walk/trot through the woods; it's still fairly dark out but it's light enough to see where we are going. Within a few minutes we come out of the woods onto a beautiful beach with no one around us. My horse follows Christian's over to a large tree, where Christian dismounts from his horse before tying it up. He ties mine up next to his before taking my hand to help me down.

"This is beautiful out here," I take in the sky which is just starting to change colors over the ocean.

"Our breakfast over here is waiting, we should be able to sit and watch the sunrise as we eat," Christian explains gesturing to the picnic basket that is further away from the horse.

I follow Christian over to the small picnic table where a basket is waiting for us. We both unpack the basket which has fruit, muffins, yogurt, juice and coffee. We sit next to each other one the same side of the table so we can watch the sunrise over the ocean. It truly is amazing to watch the sky turn so many different colors just before watching the sun rise from the horizon. I've never experienced anything like it before and I don't think anything will top it. Not only are we watching this beautiful thing happen, but we are doing it alone. There isn't a single person around that I can see.

"That was really amazing Christian, thank you," I lean over and kiss him. What starts as a simple kiss, quickly turns into more when I feel his tongue at my lips. I moan against his mouth as he pulls me against him so I'm sitting between his straddled legs on the bench. When the horses make a loud noise, we both pull away from each other laughing at the distraction.

"Come on, we still have the rest of the trail," Christian leads me back to my horse where he helps me get back on before untying our horses and getting back on his.

We spend the next couple of hours exploring the island on horseback; by the end of the trip I feel like a natural on the horse. I even get off of mine without any assistance once we are back at the stables. The island itself was beautiful! The horses led us on a route they are obviously very familiar with but one that included walking on the beach, through the woods and even along a small stream. The entire time we were out, we never saw another person which is something you definitely don't expect. I couldn't help but think how nice it was to get away from the paparazzi that I know are waiting for us back in Seattle.

We spend the rest of the day at the villa except for dinner when we venture to the main area with the restaurants.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey," Taylor greets us just as we are seated for dinner.

"Taylor, Gail, how are you?" Christian asks.

"Very good, sir. Thank you again for-"

"Don't mention it Gail, you deserve this vacation just as much as Taylor does," Christian interrupts.

We chat for a few minutes before Gail and Taylor head back to their room. We order drinks and dinner, before discussing our plans for the last few days of our trip. We make plans to go kayaking and hiking but otherwise we don't decide on anything firm. I think Christian is enjoying not having a schedule to follow like he does when we are in Seattle.

"Shit!" he exclaims glancing at his phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Seems I need to deal with something when we get back to the villa."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, we….there's a company that I've been looking at acquiring for the last few weeks. I thought this could wait until we got back, but it seems like there is another company also making a bid for this company so we need to move quickly."

"Do you need to go back to Seattle?"

"No! I just need to spend a few hours tonight reviewing spreadsheets and a report that Roz sent. I need to decide if we should make a formal offer or let it go."

"We can head out now. Let's just have them box up dessert."

"Okay."

For the first time in since we arrived in Fiji I go to bed alone after changing into yet another revealing nightie. Christian comes to bed at some point during the night; I only know this because he is there when I wake up to use the bathroom before falling back to sleep.

 _Author's Note: Hopefully this makes up for the lack of update yesterday!_


	46. Chapter 45

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 45 CPOV:**

Holy SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

Ana's hand is on my chest.

Her hand is in the middle of my fucking chest.

I need to get her off of me before I do something I'm going to regret.

What if I hurt her?

How did I let this happen?

How did I let her get so close?

How long has her hand been there?

Why did the pain of having her hand my chest wake me up?

There is no pain.

It doesn't hurt.

How is that fucking possible?

I can't think with her hand on me; I can't….I don't know what I feel. I take a deep breath and cautiously lift her hand from my chest and move it onto my stomach where I can tolerate it with a problem. Now I can think…

Last night I ended up having to work until long after Ana went to bed and then once I finally finished, I came to bed to find her laying on top of the blankets in this sheer little thing. With the moon light shining through the French doors I could almost entirely see through the outfit she was wearing. God, all I wanted to do was wake her up and get inside of her. I haven't been able to keep my hands off of her this trip; it's like I need to touch her for some reason. I've never been the touchy feely type; I've never felt the need to touch a woman unless we're fucking. Yet with Ana, I find myself looking for reasons just to touch her. Whether it's holding hands like fucking teenagers when we walk, or my hand on her back, I just can't help but touch her.

Walking into the bedroom last night, seeing her lying there, just proved how much I want Ana. It took everything in me not to wake her up, strip off the little outfit she was wearing and sink deep inside of her. I was so close to saying fuck having to restrain her hands. I was so close to saying fuck it all, forget our pasts and just sink deep into her. But then I thought to the other night, when we were lying outside and she shocked the hell out of me by giving me the most amazing blow job that I've ever fucking received. I wasn't expecting anything in return after I tasted her; I wanted to prove to her that she was beautiful and sexy. That the asshole who told her he loved her was fucking crazy to think she wasn't beautiful. But when she reached between us and grabbed my dick I wasn't about to stop her from doing anything she wanted.

I did nearly stopped her though when she leaned over me and urged me to lay on my back. She was so close to my chest it was all I could think about. She was right there; she could have touched me at any moment. I was never so thankful when she moved herself further down the bed. Not because she was heading towards my throbbing dick which was begging for attention, but because it got her further away from my chest which meant I could breathe again.

As I watched her in bed last night, the memory of my near panic attack erased any chance of us having sex. I just knew it wasn't going to be possible. If I reacted that badly to having her so close to me when we both had clothes on how will I handle it when we're both naked and she is close to my chest?

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I realized was not that Ana's hand was on my chest. Instead, the first thing I noticed was that Ana was once again curled up next to me fast asleep. That yet again we had somehow drifted towards each other during the night and were now sleeping in the center of the bed pressed up against each other. Her head was on my pillow, her leg rested on top of mine and that's when I realized her hand was on my chest. With her hand now off of my chest, I'm more confused than ever. I didn't feel the blinding pain that I usually feel when someone touches my chest. I didn't immediately remove her hand and push her away. Instead I fucking laid there staring at it for who knows how long before finally moving it to a safer area. Is it just a fluke that she touched my chest and I didn't feel the pain? Part of me wants to try it again, to place her hand back on my chest to see my reaction. I don't though. What if it does cause me pain and I lash out? I could hurt Ana and I'll never be able to forgive myself if I do that.

I need to talk to Flynn; maybe he can make sense of this fucking mess.

I slip out of the bed but not before taking one final look at Ana who is sleeping peaceful, completely oblivious to the battle I am going through right now. I can't help but wish things were different between us; that I wasn't so fucked up that I couldn't find some way to have sex with Ana. That I wasn't so fucked up this wouldn't be an issue. Just another reason why I can't be the man Ana deserves.

I head out to the living room and send Flynn an email. It doesn't take long for him to respond and we schedule a time to talk. Next, I book Ana time at the spa on the island for the exact time that I'm scheduled to speak with Flynn. I have no doubt that Ana would give me privacy if I told her I had a call to make, but I don't want her just sitting around her bored while I'm on the phone. At least this way she gets to do something for herself while I tell Flynn how fucked up I am.

"You're up early," Ana comes out of the bedroom thankfully fully dressed and no longer wearing the nearly see through nightie from last night.

"Work," I shrug. "I wasn't able to get everything done last night."

"Did you want me to put an order in for breakfast then?"

"No, let's go out. I need to step away from this stuff anyway."

"If you're sure you can…."

"I'll go change."

I feel bad lying to Ana about why I was up so early but I can't tell her the real reason I left the bed so quickly this morning. I can't tell her that her hand was on my chest and it freaked me out and not for the reasons she would assume. I don't understand why I didn't immediately react when I felt her hand on me or why it even took me awhile to notice her hand was on my chest. Any other time someone even just brushes against my chest or my back I have felt nothing but searing, blinding pain. I don't understand why I didn't feel that this morning or at whatever point during the night when Ana touched my chest. How long had we been sleeping like that? Had it been hours that Ana's hand had been on my chest or only minutes before I woke up?

I shake my head, desperate to find a way to stop thinking about it until I can talk to Flynn. Instead I take a shower and quickly get dressed before meeting Ana in the kitchen where she is waiting for me. We head out on the golf cart to the breakfast buffet that the resort offers for all of its guests. I'm usually not a fan of buffets but given the very limited number of guests that are on the island the food is much a higher quality than what you would normally find at hotel buffet. Ana and I each grab a plate and serve ourselves before finding a table to sit at.

"I have a conference call today that unfortunately I need to be on," I lie. "I've booked you an appointment at the spa while I'm on the call-"

"You didn't need to do that. I could have gone swimming or something while you were busy. It really wasn't necessary."

"I know it wasn't, but I didn't want you to be bored while I was working. This way you get to do something for yourself while I'm working. I'll drop you off at the spa before the appointment and pick you up afterwards. If you finish early the store is in the same building, anything you need will be charged directly to our room."

"I can't think of anything I need, but thank you for arranging the appointment at the spa."

"No problem Ana."

"is everything going okay at GEH while you're gone otherwise?"

"Yes, surprisingly well. I've never gone away for a week before so this has been a new experience for all of my staff."

"You've never gone on vacation?"

"No. Not for an entire week anyway. I have a house in Aspen that I've spent some time at but I usually schedule to be there over a long weekend so my time away from the office is minimal. But even during those times I'm never really away from the office, not like I am here. When I'm in Aspen, I have a fully functioning office just like at Escala so I can immediately take care of anything that comes up."

"I can't believe you've never gone on vacation before."

"When we were little, of course we did but since starting GEH my focus has been on building the company. Vacations weren't a priority," I shrug.

"Well, than this is kind of a first for both of us; I've never been on vacation before and you haven't been on vacation since starting GEH."

"Surely you took vacations when you were little?"

"No, never. The only times we stayed in hotels was when we were between places to live and trust me they were never in a place where you would want to take a vacation to."

"I'm sorry Ana…"

"Christian, this trip more than made up for not going on vacations as child," she giggles.

"In the winter, we'll plan a trip to Aspen. It's really beautiful up there-"

"You don't have to-"

"It'll give me a reason to go Ana; when I bought the house I thought I would be able to go much more often than I do."

"How come you haven't gone more often? If the house has a full office, surely you could have worked from there if something came up?"

"I could," I admit pondering how to tell Ana the reason I didn't go was because I really had no one I wanted to go with, without sound like a fool. "I guess, it just wasn't a priority. Whenever Mia, Elliot or my parents wanted to go they would go and sometimes I would join them but sometimes I wouldn't. I think I just let GEH take over my life."

"It's easy to see how that could happen, but you really should try to take more time for yourself Christian. I'm sure it isn't healthy to work as much as you do without a break."

We finish our breakfast in a comfortable silence and head back to the villa. Until having breakfast with Ana, I never realized how I have taken vacations in general for granted. Hearing that Ana had never been on a vacation before this trip really hit me hard. I know she had a shitty childhood, but I figured that at some point she must have at least had a long weekend vacation somewhere. My parents took us on a vacation every year, even if it was just a weekend camping trip, they made sure we went somewhere and had fun. Some of my fondest memories growing up are of vacations that we took together.

"According to the flyer the staff left, it looks like they're having live music tonight on the main beach," Ana points out.

"Did you want to go?"

"If you think you'll be done with work by then? If not-"

"After my conference call I don't foresee anything else coming up while we're here this week. It looks like they're making an entire night of it, with dinner and music. We'll plan to go for the night."

"Oh good!"

A couple of hours later I have dropped Ana off at the spa with strict instructions to text me when she is ready to come back to the villa. I'm not too worried about security on the island; I only had Taylor come so that we would have security if we decided to leave the island. Had I known how much they had to do on the island itself I probably would have given Taylor the week off since there really isn't a need for us to go leave the island. A few minutes after I start up my computer, my Skype is alerting me that Flynn is ready for our call.

Flynn: Hello Christian.

Christian: John.

Flynn: I admit I was a little surprised to have heard from you this morning. Is everything okay?

Christian: John, everything is so fucked up I don't even know where to begin.

Flynn: Are things not going as well with Ana as you had hoped they would?

Christian: Things are going fine with Ana….better than fine in fact.

Flynn: Oh?

Christian: We've become….close this week. Much closer than we were before.

Flynn: Spending 24/7 with someone is likely to bring two people closer together.

Christian: I guess.

Flynn: I'm sure you didn't ask for this call because things are going so well with Ana. What else is going on Christian? Are your nightmares getting worse? I know you don't like the idea, but I can prescribe-

Christian: Fuck.

Flynn: What is it Christian?

Christian: I didn't have one last night either.

Flynn: Didn't have what?

Christian: (silence)

Flynn: Christian, when was the last time you had a nightmare?

Christian: (sighing) The night before our wedding.

Flynn: You haven't had a nightmare at all in over the last four nights?

Christian: No.

Flynn: Well….that certainly is…..new.

Christian: Yeah.

Flynn: When was the last time you went this long without a nightmare.

Christian: You know as well as I do that I've never gone this long without one.

Flynn: What do you think the reason for your nightmares stopping is? What is different besides being in Fiji?

Christian: Ana.

Flynn: I'm not sure I understand. How is being in Fiji right now any different than being in Seattle? Ana lived with you for what, about two weeks before the wedding right? And you still had nightmares then.

Christian: We're sleeping together now.

Flynn: (Cough) I'm sorry I must have misheard you. Did you just say that you were sleeping with Ana?

Christian: You heard correctly.

Flynn: What brought about this change? In the four years I've been seeing you Christian I don't recall you ever mentioning sharing a bed with anyone other than Ana. (shuffles through his files trying to skim back through notes from the many sessions Flynn has had with Christian over the years).

Christian: I never have.

Flynn: You've always been against sharing a bed with a woman Christian, what changed on this trip?

Christian: I have no fucking clue.

Flynn: And you've been sleeping together since you arrived in Fiji?

Christian: Since the plane ride over here, yes.

Flynn: And you haven't had any nightmares since the wedding?

Christian: Yes, that's what I said!

Flynn: Why do you think that is Christian?

Christian: I don't fucking know! Isn't that your job!

Flynn: Is that why you asked for the session today? To figure out why you aren't having nightmares since you started sleeping with Ana?

Christian: No….yes….I don't fucking know!

Flynn: Okay, let's take a step back. This morning you emailed me and asked for a session. What had just happened that had you wanting to email me?

Christian: Ana….she….touched my chest.

Flynn: I see. And you're concerned you freaked her out by your reaction?

Christian: No.

Flynn: No?

Christian: She didn't see my reaction.

Flynn: I'm not understanding. How did she touch your chest but not see your reaction?

Christian: I woke up to find her hand on my chest.

Flynn: Oh.

Christian: Yeah oh.

Flynn: What was your first thought when you woke up?

Christian: How nice it felt to have Ana in my arms.

Flynn: So you're first thought wasn't about her hand being on your chest?

Christian: No.

Flynn: When you felt her hand on your chest how did you react?

Christian: I didn't.

Flynn: You didn't what?

Christian: I didn't _feel_ her hand on my chest.

Flynn: You didn't _feel_ it?

Christian: No. Fuck! I know this doesn't make sense and that's why I fucking needed a session!

Flynn: When you say you didn't feel her hand on your chest, I assume you mean that you didn't feel the pain you normally associate with people touching your chest and your back?

Christian: Right. I felt nothing. There was no pain, no burning….nothing.

Flynn: Why do you think that is?

Christian: I don't fucking know! Isn't that what I pay you for?

Flynn: You want me to tell you why it didn't bother you that Ana touched you?

Christian: Yes! Someone fucking needs to figure this out!

Flynn: What was the first thought you had this morning about why you didn't feel pain from Ana touching you?

Christian: That it was a fluke….that it's not possible that it would occur again if she touched me. I was even tempted to have her touch my chest again to prove that it was just a fluke…

Flynn: But you didn't.

Christian: No.

Flynn: Why not?

Christian: Because what if she touched me again and I reacted? What if I hurt her because she touched me? Ana….she has been hurt enough in her life John, more than anyone should ever be hurt. I can't….I won't hurt her more.

Flynn: It sounds like your feelings towards Ana may have changed on this trip.

Christian: No….I mean….FUCK! I don't know.

Flynn: The last time we spoke about how you feel about Ana, you said you had become friends and that you cared for her. Is that still an accurate description?

Christian: Yes…No…Not really.

Flynn: What has changed?

Christian: We're still friends; if anything we've become even better friends. We've both opened up more….about our pasts.

Flynn: She knows about your nightmares? The causes of them?

Christian: She does.

Flynn: I see.

Christian: (silence)

Flynn: In our session just after you proposed this new arrangement with Ana, you mentioned that you cared for Ana, that you felt protective of her. Would you say that you still feel the same way about her?

Christian: Yes, of course. I still care for Ana and want nothing more than to protect her, to keep her safe and away from anyone who could hurt her. What's that got to do with anything?

Flynn: Have your feelings towards Ana changed since you originally proposed this arrangement?

Christian: Of course. I told you were have become closer.

Flynn: You told me how your relationship has changed; you haven't told me how your feelings have changed.

Christian: I don't know how I fucking feel!

Flynn: Have you fucked her yet Christian?

Christian: What?! (shocked by John's bluntness) "Of course not!"

Flynn: You seem offended that I would suggest that.

Christian: I am!

Flynn: But over the last few years you've made it clear that you only fuck women; so why wouldn't I ask if you have fucked Ana?

Christian: Stop talking about Ana like that!

Flynn: Based on your reaction, I'm going to assume that you haven't fucked her yet.

Christian: No, I have not _fucked_ Ana.

Flynn: You don't want to?

Christian: I don't want to _fuck_ Ana, no! She deserves better than that! She isn't the type of girl that you just fuck. She's better than that!

Flynn: Other than sharing a bed with Ana, I assume your physical relationship has not changed on this trip?

Christian: What are you asking? I already told you we haven't had sex John!

Flynn: Your arrangement, this one and the one previously, has always required you have a certain physical display of affection towards each other in public so that the press believes you are in an actual relationship or in this case marriage.

Christian: Yes, what's your point?

Flynn: My point is, I'm wondering if since you have been on your honeymoon, away from the press, if your physical relationship has changed at all? Or are you two maintaining a strictly platonic friendship?

Christian: No we're not! We're making out like two horny high school teenagers! Is that what you want to hear John? That I can't keep my fucking hands off of her? That I can't stop thinking about her? That I can't wait to fall asleep at night next to her to wake up the next morning with her in my arms? That I find myself touching her and kissing her for no reason? Is that what you want to hear John? Because that's what it's been like since right before the wedding!

Flynn: Have you ever felt like this before Christian?

Christian: NO! Never! I've never been so….no one has ever gotten under my skin the way Ana does John! I've never wanted to protect someone as much as I want protect her. I've never wanted to sleep with a woman before. I've never….felt like this before.

Flynn: Do you love her?

Christian: No! Of course not!

Flynn: Are you sure?

Christian: Yes I'm fucking sure! I told you, after everything that _she_ put me through I'm never going to fall in love again! I'm never going to risk losing everything again, not for a woman, not for anyone ever again.

Flynn: All I'm saying is sometimes people fall in love without realizing it's even happening.

Christian: I'm not falling in love with Ana! I can't fall in love with her John!

"Um….I just wanted to grab my bathing suit," Ana quietly walks past me and into the bedroom.


	47. Chapter 46

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 46 APOV:**

"I'll be right back," I say as I jump out of the golf cart.

"Take your time Ana," Gail says.

I quietly enter the villa, unsure if Christian is still on his conference call and make my way into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. The spa was amazing and incredibly relaxing; I didn't want to bother Christian while he was on his call for work so I decided to head to the store just to look around. I was surprised to run into Gail who was there getting sun tan lotion before heading to the beach. Like Christian, Taylor was also on the phone, only he was talking with Sawyer and the rest of the security team back in Seattle. When Gail invited me to join her on the beach, I agreed to go with her so that Christian could spend the afternoon dealing with whatever must be going on at GEH that is pulling him away both last night and this afternoon. Gail suggested I buy another bathing suit at the store, but I didn't want to spend more money given that Christian already had an entire wardrobe purchased for this trip. When I said I wanted to run back to the villa for my suit, Gail offered to take me in her golf cart which worked on nice since it would have taken me awhile to walk to it.

 _Overheard…_

 _"Do you love her?" A man with a strong British accent asks._

 _"No! Of course not!" Christian exclaims._

 _"Are you sure?" the man asks._

I should turn around and leave, go back to Gail and tell her I couldn't find my bathing suit. I should go back to the store and just buy another one. I shouldn't just stand here; I shouldn't be holding my breath waiting for Christian's response. I shouldn't be eavesdropping on what is obviously a very private conversation.

 _"Yes I'm fucking sure! I told you, after everything that she put me through I'm never going to fall in love again! I'm never going to risk losing everything again, not for a woman, not for anyone ever again."_

 _"All I'm saying is sometimes people fall in love without realizing it's even happening."_

Not what's happening to me at all….I'm fully aware that I'm probably falling in love with Christian. It feels like nothing I've ever felt before; I thought I was in love with _him_ but I realize now I was just desperate to get the hell out of the place I was in. I think I was more in love with the idea of getting out of that house and into a better place than I was in love with the person who was taking me out of there. How I feel when I'm with Christian though is completely different; I've never felt like this before. I care so deeply about Christian; I can easily see myself falling in love with him. I'm holding my breath again waiting for his response, unsure of what I hope his answer is. Do I dare hope that he is also falling just as hard for me as I am for him? Do I hope that he admits he isn't sure about falling in love with me but that he has very strong feelings towards me as I do to him? Do I hope-

 _"I'm not falling in love with Ana! I can't fall in love with her John!"_

With reality slapping me in the face, I quietly walk into the living room where Christian is sitting on the couch with his computer on his lap. His response was definitely nothing like what I was hoping for; his words stung, reminding me what I knew from the moment I met him. I was foolish to think I could ever be enough for a man like Christian; that he could ever fall in love with someone like me.

"Um….I just wanted to grab my bathing suit," I quickly walk past him without looking him in the eye knowing that if I were to he would be able to see the tears in my eyes.

I grab my bathing suit and beach cover up, tossing them into a bag along with a towel. I should just change here before heading out to Gail, I know she wouldn't mind waiting another minute for me but right now I really just want to get out of here. I know if I stay here even for a few minutes, I'm just going to keep replaying his words over and over again in my head.

"Ana….I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you-" Christian approaches me as soon as I leave the room.

"Clearly," I mumble not able to hold the sting from my words.

"You weren't supposed to….that wasn't meant for you…."

"Obviously," I can't hide the anger in my voice although I don't fully understand why I'm angry.

"I'm sorry Ana….."

"I need to go, Gail is waiting for me outside."

"Gail?"

"I ran into her at the store, we're going to the beach."

"If you wait a minute I'll change and-"

"I'd rather you didn't Christian."

"Oh….of course."

We stand there looking at each other until I finally look away, I shake my head and walk out to where Gail is waiting for me in the golf cart. I get into the cart without saying a word; Gail must sense something is wrong or maybe she is distracted herself but I'm thankful for whatever reason that she doesn't say anything about my change in mood. A few minutes later we have changed, ordered drinks and are lying on the lounge chairs enjoying the amazing weather. As I look out at the clear blue water, I realize how foolish I have been over the last few days. I've allowed the lines between us to become blurred; I've completely forgotten that all of this is fake, that all of this is just for show. Things weren't supposed to become so involved between us; we were supposed to remain friends and nothing more. But the night at Mile High club changed all of that; everything changed that night.

"Ana dear, are you okay?" Gail asks.

"I'm fine," I lie.

"I know it's none of my business, but if Mr. Grey did something-"

"He didn't Gail," not really. He was only being honest, telling me what I've known all along.

"Ana, I'm going to be blunt with you for a moment. After you can tell me to mind my own business if you want," I nod letting her continue. "I've known Mr. Grey now for more than five years and I've never seen him as happy as he is with you. I know things between you two are….unconventional," Gail pretty much confirms that she is aware of our arrangement which really isn't a surprise considering she is involved with Taylor. "But, Mr. Grey loves you Ana-"

"He doesn't-"

"He does; I just don't think he knows it. Or maybe he is just afraid to admit it."

"Even if that were true, which it's not, why would he be afraid to admit how he felt?" I really shouldn't be talking to Gail about this but I really have no one else to talk to. I shouldn't be hopeful, but I can't help but wonder if what she is saying is true.

"I don't know if Mr. Grey told you about Kathryn?" I nod indicating I know of the bitch and what she did to him. "She managed to convince him that she was in love with him and that he was in love with her. Anyone could see from the outside that wasn't the case, but Mr. Grey was too blind to realize it. She was….the most deceitful person that I've ever met. Mr. Grey has always treated me wonderfully; from the very beginning he was always professional and treated me like an employee. Kathryn, treated all of us as if we were beneath her; as though she was better than us because she came from money. Mr. Grey never saw this though; he only saw what she wanted him to see."

"She sounds awful; I'm sorry she treated you so badly Gail," I shake my head in disbelief that someone would treat another person so negatively simply because they had money.

"Even though Mr. Grey's family absolutely loves him, I think he has always struggled to accept that their love is unconditional. He always seems surprised by the little things that they do to show him how much they love him. I honestly don't' know if Mr. Grey even knows what love looks like; which I think is why it was so easy for him to think he was in love with Kathryn. Obviously I wasn't there when she first said those three words, but knowing Mr. Grey the way that I do I think he was so taken back by the fact that someone outside of his family was saying that they loved him that he convinced himself that he needed to love Kathryn back."

"You don't think he every loved her?"

"No," her voice leaves no doubt. "I can see the way he looks at you, the way he hangs on every word you are saying and the way he constantly seems to search you out when you're not near him. That's love, Ana. He never did that with Kathryn; half the time I don't think he even knew if she was in the apartment with him. He loves you Ana, whether he is ready to admit it though maybe a different story."

"I walked in on him having a Skype session with someone; I overheard something I wasn't supposed to."

"What you overheard made you doubt his feelings for you?"

"Some guy with a British accent asked him if he loved me."

"I think that's his therapist, Dr. Flynn. He's the only man I know that Christian speaks to regularly who has a British accent," Gail suggests which might be right – I know Christian has mentioned seeing a therapist. "How did Christian answer the question?"

"He said he couldn't love me."

"Oh Ana, I'm sorry dear. I can't imagine how those words must have hurt," she reaches over and squeezes my hand before signaling the staff for drink refills.

"I shouldn't have let it bother me. This….what we have was never about love; I've always known that."

"But you fell in love with him."

"I think I am."

"Ana, just like I said about Christian loving you, I know without a doubt that you are just as in love with Christian as he is with you-"

"I don't-"

"Neither of you may be ready to admit it yet, but it doesn't change how obvious it is to everyone else that you are in love. You both obviously have pasts that make loving someone or having someone love you difficult," her words surprise me as I've never spoken to Gail about my past. Hell, I've never spoken to anyone as in depth as I have with Christian. "You just need to be patient with each other."

"But what if…." I don't even know what I'm trying to ask.

"Just be patient Ana; Christian needs to realize how he feels on his own. I have no doubt that Dr. Flynn was probably trying to push him to realize his true feelings when you walked in."

"Maybe." But it doesn't change the fact that he said he couldn't love me.

"How has your trip been this far? Everything else okay between you two?"

"It's been wonderful," I can't help but admit. "It's felt like we were the only two people in the world; that the press and everything else didn't exist. We've both gotten to know each other better."

"Good. Don't let today ruin the rest of your trip Ana. Try not to focus on what you overheard."

"It's kind of hard not to."

"I know it is."

Glancing back out at the ocean, I try to wrap my head around what Gail has told me. I knew that bitch had messed with Christian and that he had difficulty trusting women after what she did but I don't think I ever thought about it beyond that. I never considered that she could have hurt him to the point where he didn't think he could love someone again.

I also worry if what Gail is saying isn't correct; what if what he said had nothing to do with what Kathryn did to him. What if he was right? What if he really can't love me? What if I'm not good enough for him? What if everything everyone has always said about me was right?

"Ana, I hate to do this but Taylor and I have dinner reservations that I need to get ready for," Gail pulls me from my thoughts some time later.

"Of course, go…have fun!"

"Do you want a ride back to the villa? I can drop you off before I head to our room if you want."

"No, I think I'm going to spend some more time out here. Thank you…for everything Gail."

"Anytime you need to talk Ana I'm here."

"I appreciate it, I really do."

I spend the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening on the beach; ordering dinner and drinks for myself rather than going back to the villa. Obviously I know at some point I need to go back there, but I don't know what to say once I see Christian again. What do you say to someone who just admitted they couldn't love you? Do I just ignore what he said and pretend it never happened? Even if I thought that was the best choice, I'm not sure I can do it. I don't know how to go back to the way things have been between us over the last few days without constantly hearing those words in my head. I really had thought that with everything that had happened between us this week that I wasn't the only one developing feelings in this relationship. I think I would have been okay if Christian admitted he didn't love me but had feelings more than friendship for me. But he didn't….all he said was that he couldn't love me.

When the sun starts setting the air turns cooler and I know that I need to head back to the villa to deal with the situation that I've been avoiding for the last few hours. I still don't know what to say to Christian; part of me doesn't want to talk about it. I'm afraid that if Christian realizes how much his words hurt me that he will also realize that they hurt because I'm developing feelings for him beyond the friendship that we have formed. With the press release just being issued by GEH about our nuptials, doing anything to interfere with our arrangement could ruin Christian. I think the best option is to pretend as if I never overheard Christian's conversation; this way he won't know that his words hurt me or know the reason they hurt me.

Realizing this is my best option, I take a deep breath and pack up my towel before tossing on my beach cover up and heading up the beach. Since Gail brought me here, I'll be walking back to the villa. There are well lit paths from each villa to various areas of the resort so I'm not worried about my safety or getting lost. I reach the top of the beach where there is a small parking lot for the golf carts where I find one golf cart parked. I don't have to look at the person behind the wheel to know who it is…

"How long have you been here?" I ask as I approach the golf cart and climb in.

"I arrived a few minutes after you and Gail did."

"You've been here for…" I have no idea what time it is because I didn't bring my phone.

"Yeah," he shrugs.

"Why didn't you come down?"

"You seemed to want to be alone."

"You didn't have to stay; I'm sure you had things to do."

"I didn't."

He starts the golf cart and drives us back to the villa. The ride is quiet, neither of us wanting to address the obvious elephant in the room. I'm shivering by the time we get back to the villa, the night air is much cooler than I had expected it to be and unfortunately my skimpy beach cover up doesn't offer much protection from the wind on our trip.

"You're freezing," Christian touches my arm seeing me rubbing them.

"I wasn't expecting the temperature to drop so quickly."

"Why don't you get in the hot tub? The water is already heated and it will warm you faster than a shower will."

"I think I will, thanks."

I walk over to the hot tub, which until tonight hasn't been used, turn on the jets and step in. Immediately I feel warmer; I sit in one of the seats and relax, losing myself in the jets behind me. I feel Christian enter the room before I see him; he sighs heavily before sitting in one of the chair just behind me.

"Ana….I…..I'm sorry you overheard my session with my therapist earlier-"

"You don't need to apologize Christian. If anything I should be apologizing to you."

"To me? Why? What do you have to apologize for?"

"You obviously had wanted privacy for your meeting which I interrupted. I should have texted you like you asked so you knew I would be coming back. The only reason I didn't was because if you were still on your call I didn't want to interrupt you, which I ended up doing anyway."

"I'm sorry you walked in when you did Ana. I never meant-"

"Please Christian, let's not do this."

"Ana-"

"Let's just forget about it please."

"I think we should talk about it Ana."

"Why? Why should we talk about it Christian? Is what you said untrue?"

"Well….no….but-"

"Then there's nothing to discuss Christian."

Frustration, anger, disappointment, hurt and probably an array of other emotions that I can't identify run through my head. I get out of the hot tub, grab a towel from the bench and dry off while heading to the bedroom. I was hoping that Christian wouldn't want to talk about what had happened, that he would want to forget what happened just as much as I did. I hadn't pinned him for the type who would want to talk about it and hash it out.

I change into a pair of shorts and a tank top before climbing into bed and wrapping myself in the blankets. Part of me feels bad for snapping at Christian for wanting to talk about what happened, but I can't let him see how much his words hurt me. I can't let him know that it hurt because I was starting to fall for him. I can't let him know that he just confirmed one of my biggest fears; that in fact I am unlovable.

 ** _** Trigger Warning **_**

 _"Don't fuck this up you little slut. This is your one chance at doing something with your life. I still don't know how you managed to get Jack to fall in love with you; he's too good for you. He deserves better than you but for some reason he wants to settle for you. Don't fuck it up."_

 _"I won't Grandmother."_

 _"If you fuck this up, don't come crying to me. Once you walk out of this house you won't be permitted back in it if you fuck this up. Your future is being handed to you. For whatever reason this wonderful man has decided you're his future. What he sees in you is beyond me but he must see something to want to spend the rest of his life with you. You fuck this up and your life is over. You will have nothing. Do you understand?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"I don't care what he does, how he treats you or how unhappy you are, you don't leave him under any circumstances. If he ever leaves you, it will be your fault for not being able to keep your husband happy. This is now your only priority; you keep this man happy and by some miracle whatever he found in you will stay there. I still can't believe Jack fell in love with you; not when there are so many other women falling at his feet. Just remember that; you have nothing that he can't find somewhere else."_

 _"Yes Grandmother."_

 _"You know, I bet he doesn't even love you."_

 _"He does-"_

 _"No, I think he just tells you that to appease you. It makes sense now that I think about it; he doesn't actually love you. I've told you over and over again no one will ever love you; you're certainly not good enough for Jack to love you."_

 _**_ _ **End trigger warning ****_

I wake up with tears pouring down my face; my eyes frantically search the room, almost expecting to see her standing there. I'm relieved when I realize I'm in the villa in Fiji and not back in that horrible house in New York. I quietly get out of bed and turn on the bathroom light which is when I realize I'm in the bedroom alone. For the first night since our wedding I have slept alone, although I guess it shouldn't surprise me after what happened between us yesterday. I didn't really give Christian any indication that I wanted to sleep with him; I don't think he understands why what he said bothered me so much because really I don't know that I fully understand it. I should be happy he isn't falling in love with me; it means things won't become more complicated than they already are between us. I should be grateful that he wants to keep this friendship between us and not complicate our arrangement with love. I'm none of these things though; I'm not happy, I'm not grateful….I'm just….

I shake my head, needing to free myself from thinking about what happened earlier and from the nightmare. I remember the day clearly; it was the day I had announced to my grandmother that I was moving out. I had only known Jack a couple of weeks but he knew I was unhappy living with my grandmother so he had suggested we move in together. I thought it was too soon but when he told me he was falling in love with me and wanted to spend every moment with me, I fell for it hook, line and sinker. He had just started to look for a house to buy and invited me along to a choice in where we would live. I thought it was my dream come true; I foolishly thought he was my knight in shining armor coming to save me from the shitty life I had lived until that point. Looking back I realize just how stupid I was; we barely knew each other and had no business moving in together. I should have known that he didn't love me, that we didn't know each other long enough to love each other. I was just so desperate to get away from my grandmother that I probably would have moved in with anyone at that point.

Needing to get my mind off of things, I head out to the patio, quietly passing by the living room where I assume Christian has decided to sleep for the night. The cool air on my face immediately wakes me up; the sound of the waves crashing in the background immediately draws my attention to the ocean rather than on the nightmare or what happened earlier. I'm about to turn around to find my flip flops to walk down to the ocean when I hear whimpering coming from the other side of the patio. I immediately rush to the day bed where I find Christian tossing and turning under the sheets. I try calling his name but he doesn't respond.

 ** _** Trigger warning **_**

"Mommy…please help….Owwwww!"

FUCK! I need to do something; I can't just sit here and watch him have a nightmare. I'm torn; he told me never to try to wake him from a nightmare. He even made me promise to leave the room if he had a nightmare when we were sleeping together. I try calling his name again, louder this time, but still no response.

"Please….Please…I'll be a good boy….Don't….NO! NO more! Please no more! It hurts! I good boy; I good boy."

 ** _** End Trigger Warning **_**

My heart is absolutely breaking; I can all too easily picture Christian as a scared little boy being hurt by his mother's pimp. Forgetting Christian's warning, I slide into bed, lying next to Christian but keeping a small amount of space between us as he continues to toss and turn under the blankets.

"Christian, please wake up," I beg but all I receive in response is him moaning in pain.

I need to do something; I can't just let him continue to relieve what happened to him when he was younger. I cautiously move myself closer to him, knowing that if he does end up hurting me this could permanently ruin our already messed up arrangement. I know he would never forgive himself if he hurt me even if I was able to convince him that it wasn't his fault because he was having a nightmare. I know he wouldn't hear of it.

I take his hand in mine, squeezing it to try to pull him from the nightmare. His head turns in my direction, but he doesn't open his eyes. His back pushes into the bed, his face twists in obvious discomfort as he tries to push something imaginary off of his chest. I want so bad to touch him but I have no idea where to touch him that won't set him off right now. Even when we were out here the other night, merely touching his stomach seemed to cause a negative reaction from him. I can't risk doing something that would bother him like that right now; doing so would almost guarantee him accidently hurting me. Not knowing what else to do, I do the only thing I can think of. I put my hand on his cheek and cautiously bring my lips to his. His body immediately stops moving, but he remains tense next to me.

Unsure if his nightmare is over, I gently run my tongue along his lips trying to bring him back to reality and away from the horrible man that hurt him so badly when he was too young to defend himself. It takes a few minutes, but eventually Christian sighs and his body begins to relax. I tense when he moves, unsure what he is going to do but I'm relieved when he wraps his arm around my waist. I gasp in surprise when his tongue finds mine; the kiss quickly turns from one of comfort to one full of emotion.

"I'm so sorry Ana, so fucking sorry," he pulls me close to him buries his head in my neck.

"Shhh….let's not talk about that right now," I beg him.

"We need to-"

"Not now, please."

"Okay."

"You had a nightmare," I point out the obvious.

"Yeah."

"You haven't had a nightmare since we left California; did something cause this one?"

"You weren't in bed with me," he says it as if it explains everything.


	48. Chapter 47

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 47 CPOV:**

I wake up to find Ana wrapped in my arms and it immediately brings a smile to my face. When I went to bed alone last night I thought mornings of waking up with Ana in my arms were over. I knew things were fucked up yesterday; that I fucked things up yesterday. I never expected Ana to overhear my session with Flynn; I purposely arranged for her to be at the spa during my session just to ensure she didn't hear anything. Ana couldn't have walked in during a more inopportune moment than when she did yesterday. Of course she didn't walk in when I was telling Flynn how much I like moments like this; lying in bed with Ana in my arms. No, she had to walk in to me saying that I can't fall in love with her. I'll never forget the look in her eyes when she walked into the room; there was so much hurt. She has the same look after she has nightmare and it nearly killed me to know that I caused that look in her eyes.

I've tried to apologize, to talk to her about what she heard but she keeps pushing me away. I don't think she wants to talk about it but Flynn told me I need to talk to her. When I was sitting in the parking lot watching Ana on the beach I set up an online chat with him. He usually hates doing things like this but I wasn't about to Skype him while sitting in the middle of a fucking parking lot where anyone could over hear me.

 _Christian: She won't talk to me John._

 _Dr. Flynn: What did she say?_

 _Christian: Nothing really. She grabbed her bag and left._

 _Dr. Flynn: She left?_

 _Christian: She went to the beach with Gail. I offered to go with her but she said she would rather I didn't._

 _Dr. Flynn: And where are you right now?_

 _Christian: Sitting in a parking lot overlooking the beach, watching her._

 _Dr. Flynn: I see._

 _Christian: How do I fix this? I need to fucking fix this!_

 _Dr. Flynn: I think before you can fix things with Ana, you need to be honest with yourself._

 _Christian: What the fuck does that mean? I am being honest with myself!_

 _Dr. Flynn: I don't think you are. You keep saying you can't fall in love again but in previous sessions you've admitted that you don't think you were ever really in love with-_

 _Christian: I wasn't._

 _Dr. Flynn: Yet, you're saying you can't fall in love again. By your own admission Christian you weren't in love before. What is this really about Christian?_

 _Christian: I don't fucking know what you mean._

 _Dr. Flynn: I think you do. You've told me time and time again how different Ana is from your ex, or from any other woman you've ever been with-_

 _Christian: She is like no one I've ever met._

 _Dr. Flynn: She sounds like an amazing woman from what you've told me._

 _Christian: She is._

 _Dr. Flynn: If she's so amazing, why is it hard to believe that you could fall in love with her?_

 _Christian: Because I can't fall in love._

 _Dr. Flynn: Why not?_

 _Christian: Because…._

 _Dr. Flynn: Because why Christian? Why can't you fall in love with Ana?_

 _Christian: Because I'm not the man she deserves._

 _Dr. Flynn: Why aren't you that man Christian?_

 _Christian: Because I'm fucked up! You know that John! Look at the fucking baggage I come with! Ana deserves someone she can touch without worrying they are going to literally push her away. She deserves-_

 _Dr. Flynn: Except she did touch you this morning and you didn't push her away. Stop making this about Ana. Christian, why can't you fall in love Ana?_

 _Christian: Because I can't!_

 _Dr. Flynn: Why not?_

 _Christian: (silence)_

 _Dr. Flynn: Christian, why can't you fall in love with Ana?_

 _Christian: Because the last time I thought I was in love I nearly lost everything! I can't risk that again! I can't trust someone like that again; it could cost me everything John! The risk is too big._

 _Dr. Flynn: But you already trust Ana, don't you Christian? She's moved into your apartment, hell you even married her!_

 _Christian: That's different._

 _Dr. Flynn: Are you saying you no longer trust Ana?_

 _Christian: Of course not! Don't put words in my mouth! I trust Ana; more than I think I've ever fucking trusted anyone._

 _Dr. Flynn: It sounds like you're scared of falling in love._

 _Christian: Of course I am! I'm fucking petrified! The stakes are even higher now than they've ever been. What if I fall in love with Ana and if fucks up our entire arrangement? What if I fuck it up and she ends our entire arrangement together? I've never done this before John; I'm going to fuck it up!_

 _Dr. Flynn: Maybe you should tell Ana that._

 _Christian: Why? Why would I tell her that?_

 _Dr. Flynn: Because right now she thinks that you can't fall in love with her-_

 _Christian: I can't! Haven't you been listening to me?_

 _Dr. Flynn: Right now Ana likely thinks that what you were saying is that you can't fall in love with her because of who she is._

 _Christian: FUCK! How the fuck do I fix this John? Tell me what to do…_

 _Dr. Flynn: I think we need to go back to the original question; how do you feel about Ana?_

 _Christian: I don't know._

 _Dr. Flynn: Maybe that's something you need to think about Christian. I'm not saying you need to admit that you love her; just that perhaps your feeling go beyond friendship._

 _Christian: Of course they do!_

 _Dr. Flynn: Does she know that?_

 _Christian: I….I don't know. She has to; right?_

 _Dr. Flynn: I don't know if she does Christian. Right now, I'm betting she is questioning everything she thinks she knows about how you feel about her._

 _Christian: Tell me how to fix this John. I can't…she can't end our arrangement because of what I did._

 _Dr. Flynn: What would happen if she did that?_

 _Christian: I'd lose her. And I would lose everything I've worked so hard for. We've been through this John! It will cost me everything! I can't let that happen John! Tell me how to fucking fix this!_

 _Dr. Flynn: You need to talk to Ana, Christian._

 _Christian: I've tried! She walked out on me John! She'd rather be sitting on a beach alone than be there with me! She wouldn't even look at me before she left the villa._

 _Dr. Flynn: She sounds scared Christian._

 _Christian: Why would she be scared? I wouldn't hurt her! I've never given her a reason to be afraid of me!_

 _Dr. Flynn: I don't think she's afraid you will physically hurt her._

 _Christian: How could I hurt her more than I already have? Fuck John, if you could have seen the look in her eyes when she walked into the living room after I said…what I said._

 _Dr. Flynn: She's trying to protect herself but not discussing what happened. It's a matter of self-preservation; she's trying to protect herself from being hurt again._

 _Christian: But I have to explain to her that this isn't about her! She's not the fucked up one here; I am!_

 _Dr. Flynn: Then you'll have to find a way to get her to talk to you or to at least listen to you Christian. Don't fall into her trap; don't let her convince you that the best thing is to not address what was said. Ignoring what was is like putting a wall between the two of you. If you want things to continue with Ana, you're going to need to address what happened. Ignoring it will ruin any chance you have….don't let her win Christian._

 _Christian: I won't. I'll find a way to talk to her._

 _Dr. Flynn: If you think a joint session would help, I can make time in my schedule for a skype session or maybe an in person session when you get back from your trip._

 _Christian: I'll think about it. Thanks John._

 _Dr. Flynn: Think about what I've said Christian. I think you need to figure out how you feel about Ana before you talk to her. She needs to hear it from you._

I spent hours sitting in the golf cart watching Ana on the beach yesterday, trying to figure out how to fix things between us. I don't know what Ana was thinking about but she looked just as lost as I was; she really just spent the time after Gail left looking out at the water. I wanted to so bad to go down to her, to sit next to her where Gail had been and tell her how sorry I was. I didn't though; she made it perfectly clear that she didn't want me to go with her. I wanted to respect her need for space even if it was killing me to do so. I know her space is important to her; that was obvious from the first contract with Elena. I didn't want to do something to fuck things up further between us.

When Ana stormed out of the hot tub last night after I tried to talk to her I realized just how badly I fucked things up. I knew it before then, but seeing her so angry made it hit home. I've never seen Ana get angry; not even when someone broke into her apartment and ruined the few belongings she had. When I tried to talk to her last night though it was obvious she was still very angry with me. Not wanting to upset her further, I decided to give her the space that she seemed to need and slept on the day bed outside. It was cooler than the night I had slept out here with Ana but after adding a blanket to the bed it was comfortable.

It took me a long time to finally fall asleep last night; my mind kept racing, trying to figure out how to fix things with Ana. Once I finally fell asleep, it wasn't long before a nightmare set in. What surprised me was that the nightmare ended so quickly; it wasn't until I woke up that I realized why the nightmare ended much faster than it normally does. I was stunned to feel Ana's lips on mine, her hand in mine and her tongue gently coaxing my mouth open. Still shaking from the nightmare, I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close to me, needing to feel her body against mine. Almost instantly I was calmed down and the memory of the nightmare was gone. When I opened my eyes and saw that Ana was really lying there next to me, I was surprised. Surprised that after what I had said, what Ana overheard, after how badly I hurt her that she still came to me.

I apologized, again, for hurting her and once again tried to get her to talk to me but she refused, again. I wanted to push her, to somehow convince her that we couldn't ignore what had happened but with her in my arms I didn't want to do anything to make her pull away from me. When Ana pointed out what I already knew, that this was the first nightmare I've had since we left for this trip five days ago, I could only agree with her. My answer to her next question came without me even thinking; the reason I had the nightmare was because Ana wasn't next to me. Although I didn't understand it, the moment Ana asked me what caused my nightmare, I knew the reason.

Ana fell asleep next to me shortly after that, without either of us saying another word. I, on the other hand, couldn't fall back to sleep as easily. I couldn't figure out how this beautiful woman could keep away my nightmares simply by sharing a bed with me. Logically, it doesn't make sense. Flynn tried to get me to see it yesterday during our first session, but I was still so focused on the fact that Ana had touched my chest that I couldn't think beyond that. Last night though, after waking up next to her after the nightmare, it just clicked.

I eventually fell asleep again last night and until the bright sun woke me up only a few minutes ago I slept soundly. As I watch Ana sleep next to me, I realize that this is the perfect opportunity to finally clear the air between us. She's lying next to me, my arms are around her, she can't easily leave like she did yesterday. Well, I suppose she could but since tying her to bed isn't an option, this is probably the best chance I have for keeping her in one place long enough to at least listen to me. Now…if only I could figure out what the hell I should say to her.

"You're thinking too hard," Ana mumbles without opening her eyes.

I chuckle at how in tuned she is to me right now.

"Ana," I sigh before rolling on my side so we are now facing each other. I pull her closer to me, needing to again feel her body against mine. Her hand teases my hair while the other is resting on my arm.

"Did you sleep okay after….?"

"I did, thank you….for coming to me, for waking me up."

"I didn't know what to do; I couldn't let you stay there. I needed to wake you up but I was so afraid of touching you somewhere that would hurt you. I'm not sure where I can touch you…."

"Ana, I…..I can't apologize enough for yesterday-"

"Christian, it's not-"

"It is. I know you want to ignore what you heard because you think it will be easier, but we can't do that. I hurt you and I will never forget the look in your eyes when you walked in after hearing what I said."

"Christian," She tries to pull away from me but I wrap my arm a little tighter around her waist. I'm not holding her too tight to freak her out (at least I don't think I am), but I'm holding her tight enough that she can't just easily get off the bed and leave.

"What you overheard was my therapist pushing me; he tends to do that a lot in sessions. My response to what he asked me wasn't about you Ana. I need you to know that it had nothing to do with you-"

"Hmmmm," I can hear the sarcasm clearly; she is no longer looking at me, her gaze now fixed on my chest.

"Ana, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me."

"Christian, please. Don't give me the it's not you it's me line. Look, I get it; you can't love me. I don't see the point in hashing this out any further. I don't know why you're so intent on us talking about it and making things more awkward between us. Please, just let me up so I can take a shower and get dressed."

"No."

"No?"

"No Ana. You've been avoiding me since yesterday and I'm not going to let you continue doing it. I never said that I can't love you-"

"You did!"

"No, I didn't. Damn it! What I said was that I can't fall in love with you. There's a big difference!"

"It's the same thing."

"No. Not being able to love you means you don't have any qualities that someone would find loveable. Ana, nothing could be further from the truth. You're kind, generous, strong, beautiful, sexy, trustworthy and just fucking amazing. When I said that I couldn't fall in love with you it wasn't because I didn't see the those qualities in you. I see them every damn day that we spend together!"

Ana doesn't say anything; I don't know if she's still listening to me or if she's just tuning me out.

"Ana," I sigh trying to figure out what the hell I can say to her to fix this. "I….I'm fucking scared."

"What are _you_ scared of?" her voice is barely above a whisper but at least I know she's not tuning me out.

"I thought….I thought I fell in love once. Looking back, I realize now that what I felt for _her_ wasn't love at all. But it doesn't change how things ended. I nearly lost everything when….. I can't do that again, Ana. I…I just can't."

"I get it Christian, I really do."

"Ana, you mean more to me than _she_ ever did. I trust you more than I have anyone in my life. I care so much about you Ana, which is why seeing you hurt yesterday because of something I did nearly killed me-"

"I'm sorry-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for Ana. It was damn bad luck that you walked in when you did; you could have heard any other part of my session with Flynn and it wouldn't have hurt you. Instead as fate would have it you walked in the moment I said the worst possible thing. This week….I've really enjoyed spending this week with you, more than I expected to. I feel like we've become closer than we were before."

"We have," she whispers in admission.

"I don't know how to tell you how much you mean to me. Somehow over the last few months, you have weaved your way into my life. You somehow get me like no one ever has. I have no idea how, but you manage to keep the nightmares away simply by sleeping next to me. You're the only woman I've ever shared a bed with, the only one I've ever trusted enough to sleep next to me. I don't know how to classify what we have; it's surpassed a business arrangement months ago and I think in the past week we've also surpassed just being friends. We've somehow become more…."

"Christian, I'm so sorry I walked in yesterday when I did. I wish I had just texted you like you asked-"

"Stop apologizing Ana, you didn't do this."

"I wish we could just forget that yesterday happened. I've really been enjoying this week and spending time with you. I missed sleeping next to you last night; you make me feel safe when I sleep next to you. I…you're not the only one scared Christian. I swore I would never fall for a guy again; I was content with spending the rest of my life alone rather than risk getting hurt again. I went as far as ensuring that I wasn't even alone with a man for the last two and a half years. Then I met you and you somehow managed to knock down all the walls I had put up. I care for you Christian….deeply, more than I think I have in my entire life. And yesterday, hearing you say…what you said, I thought it meant that what I was feeling was one sided. That you didn't see me as anything more than you friend…"

Her voice trails off at the end and I'm gutted once again. I lift her chin up, forcing her to look at me.

"Ana…I think you can agree that we passed friendship some time ago. Does this feel like friendship to you?"

Without giving her a chance to answer or to even think about it, I lean down and crush my lips against hers. I pour everything into the kiss, hoping for her to feel what I'm struggling to find the words to say. She gasps in surprise, I'm sure at the intensity of the kiss, and I take advantage of the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. She moans against my lips before her tongue cautiously begins to explore mine. I run my hand up her back, holding her tight against me as I devour her mouth. I groan when she sucks my tongue into her mouth, the sensation going directly to my dick as I remember what it felt like to have her lips wrapped around me. I know she can feel my dick against her, there's no way for her not to with how close we are right now.

As I run my hands over her soft curves I realize that for the first time since we arrived in Fiji she isn't wearing one of the nighties that Carolyn had packed for her. I can't help but feel responsible for her decision not to wear one of those outfits. I don't think she wore one and then changed before she came outside; if she had been wearing one she just would have thrown a bathrobe over it like she has done in the past. I can't help but wonder why she chose to wear a tank top and shorts to bed; I want to ask her about it but I'm almost afraid to know the answer. Is it because she knew she would be going to bed alone? Is it because she thought that when I said I couldn't fall in love with her that she thought that meant I didn't find her attractive? Surely she has to know that after everything that has happened between us this past week that not finding her attractive wasn't even a possibility.

I somehow manage to pull my lips from Ana's and slowly start kissing my way to her neck. I kiss, nibble and suck at the juncture where her neck and shoulder meet. Her breathing is heavy; every so often she releases the softest moans that make my dick harden even more. I slip my hand beneath the waist band of her cotton shorts, grasping her soft ass, pushing her further against my dick wanting to leave her no doubt how attractive I find her. I can tell the moment her own desire begins to take over as she rocks against me, rubbing her clit against my dick. I don't know when it happened, but at some point she must have moved her leg as it is now resting over my hip. She's using it to hold onto me just as much as I'm holding on to her right now.

"Christian," she moans as the desire climbs even higher within her.

My own desire is climbing; each time she moves against me she manages to rub me in just the right way. The thin fabric of our pajama shorts is the only thing separating us; the only things preventing me from sliding deep into Ana. If it only things were that easy-

"Please…." She whispers, pulling me from the path I was about to go down of focusing on how fucked up I am.

Instead of doing that, I focus on the beautiful, sexy woman that is in my arms. I slide my hand from her ass to her damp silk panty covered sex; she gasps and pushes herself both against my hand and against my dick at the same time. I let my fingers slide through her wet folds, teasing her further before sliding a finger deep into her throbbing sex. She grips my finger so fucking tight that I can't help but imagine what it would feel like to have her grip my dick that hard.

"God, Ana…. You have no idea how badly I want you," I whisper to her just before sliding another finger into her.

"Christian….I….."

"I got you baby," although the position is awkward because of how we're laying, I manage to twist my fingers as I push them deeper into her until I find the spot I was looking for. "Come for me Ana."

"OHHHHHHHHHH! CHRISTIAN!" She wraps her arms around my shoulders, puling me even closer to her as she rides out the waves of her orgasm. Her body continues to rub against mine; her lips are on my neck, sucking and kissing me just as I was doing to her a few moments ago. When she sucks on my ear I swear I nearly come in my shorts right then and there. I use the arm that is around her back to hold her firm against me as I start thrusting my fingers in and out of her warm, tight body not yet ready to let her go. She moans in my ear before biting my ear causing my hips to thrust against her involuntarily.

"Ana….you….don't," I pant when I feel her hand working its way into my shorts.

"I know, I want to," she whispers just before she wraps her hand around my dick which has been begging for some attention.

When her thumb rubs over the top of my dick, rubbing the drops of moisture that had been collecting here over me I swear it takes everything in me not to lose it in that moment. I've never felt so out of control with a woman as I do with Ana. I've never been so fucking turned on just from foreplay; if this is even considered foreplay since it doesn't result in sex. Whatever the fuck it is, Ana manages to have me so close to coming the moment she touches me every fucking time. I've never been like this….ever.

"You feel so fucking good Ana," our bodies have separated a little to give us each enough room to move. I take advantage of the new position and rub my thumb over her clit which immediately causes her to thrust against my hand and grip my dick even tighter as she strokes it. "So fucking good."

"Christian….I'm going to…." I rub her hardened clit a little harder which is all it takes to push her over the edge as she once again screams my name.

"Fuck ANA!" She grips my dick harder while her body sucks my fingers deeper into her as she falls apart against me. Imagining it's my dick inside of her instead of my fingers has me following Ana right over the edge only seconds later.

Ana's lips slowly make their way from my ear back to my lips where she gently kisses me. I let her lead the kiss, and she does just that. Her lips are soft but firm on mine; I hold her against me not yet ready to let her go. After the way yesterday ended and we went to bed separately, I never expected us to be here like this today. Hell, I wasn't sure we would ever get back here.

"Definitely more than friends," she giggles and I chuckle remembering what I said to start all of this a little while ago.

"Let's go take shower," I kiss her one last time, take her hand and lead her inside. It's not until we enter the bedroom do I realize what I just said. I've never taken a shower with a woman; hell Ana and I haven't even seen each other naked yet. I can feel my anxiety increasing with the realization of what we're about to do; I don't know what possessed me to suggest we shower together.

 _Author's Note: You all continue to blow me away with your response to this story! I love reading each of the reviews and all the PMs especially on the last two chapters! I also want to thank fellow fanfiction writer lillian121 who recommended my story to her readers many of which have recently found my story! I apologize for not updating yesterday, I got stuck on this chapter and needed to take a little longer to think about where I wanted Ana and Christian to go. I hope too many of you aren't disappointed that they haven't gotten together yet, but I felt like their first time shouldn't be make up sex. Their first time is coming though, I finally have figured out how and when it's going to happen! So what do you think about this chapter? Did Ana forgive Christian too fast?_


	49. Chapter 48

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 49 APOV:**

"Let's go take a shower together," Christian kisses me one final time before leading me from the patio back to the bedroom where he seems to pause for only a split second before continuing to the bathroom. I was surprised by Christian's suggestion to take a shower together; it's something we haven't done before. Come to think of it, we haven't even seen each other naked…yet, I suppose that's all about to change.

We walk around the corner to where the incredibly large shower is. The tile shower is sunk down, with a couple steps that lead you into it. The shower was obviously built for two; there are two shower heads although they aren't very far apart from each other and a bench large enough for two people to sit on. We both sort of just stand at the entrance to the shower, neither of us making the move to start getting undressed. Christian is squeezing my hand tightly, glancing up I can see the anxiety in his eyes. I don't know if he knew what he was suggesting when he suggested we come in here or if he thought he would be okay with the idea and now he isn't. I can only assume that he is nervous that I'm going to touch his chest or his back while we're in here.

Realizing that one of us is going to need to make the first move or we will never actually get into the shower, I decide that person is going to be me. It's funny, we've….made out I guess you could say, how many times now yet we have never seen each other without clothes. Christian has seen me in a bikini and I've seen him in swim shorts without a shirt but that's as close as we've come to being naked. Surely though we have touched nearly every inch of each other's bodies but we've always had clothes as the protective barrier. As I lift my tank top over my head, I hear Christian take a quick breath in. I'm thankful that my back is to him right now because he can't see how nervous I am. I know it doesn't make sense, especially after what we just did outside on the bed, but I can't help but feel nervous. It's the first time Christian is seeing me naked; what if he sees something he doesn't like? What if…

I hear him rustling behind me just before I see his shirt land on mine on the floor next to us. Without turning around, I slide my shorts and panties down, kicking them out to the side. Taking a deep breath, I turn around and watch as Christian's eyes go wide as he takes in my naked body. I take his hands in mine, stand on my tip toes and kiss him softly on the lips.

"I promise not to touch your back or your chest," I whisper.

He doesn't say anything but nods and squeezes my hand back. I let go of his hands and step down into the shower leaving him to make the next move. I barely finish turning on the water before Christian's arms wrap around me and he pulls me against his now naked body. With my back to his chest, I lean my head back against his shoulder and let the hot water cascade over our bodies. I don't know how long we stand there but after awhile Christian reaches over and turns the other shower but angles the head so it sprays more water at both of us.

"Christian?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

I turn so I'm facing him, his hands immediately go to my hips and mine to his neck. Our bodies are only a few inches apart at most but I can still feel the warmth from him skin on mine.

"Can you tell me where I can touch you? Last night…I didn't know where I could touch, I wasn't sure where I could touch you without bothering you. And….the other night, I…."

"My arms, my shoulders, my neck," he takes a deep breath before taking my hand in his and bringing it down to his stomach. "From here down…you can touch. Just not above," his voice is shaky as he holds my hand against his warm skin. I can tell how difficult this is for him; I almost regret asking but I feel like I need to know so I don't unintentionally hurt him by touching him somewhere that I think won't bother him.

"Thank you."

"There's more," he says before slowly turning around.

"Christian…" I gasp; this is the first time I've seen his back up close. He only has a couple small round scars on his chest, but the ones on his back are more prevalent. There's at least seven or eight of them from what I can see. There's also a couple straight lines across the middle of his back; I can only assume they are from where he was hit with the belt.

"From here," he takes my hand and places it just at one of the scars from the belt. "Down is okay….the….belt marks don't bother me as much as the….other ones."

"Thank you Christian," I lean up and kiss his shoulder careful not to touch his upper back.

He doesn't say anything, but turns around, kissing me gently on the lips before turning me so that my back is leaning against his chest. Before stepping into the shower we had never been this close; I love the way he skin feels against mine. How I can feel the heat from his body against my own; how his hands feel against my bare skin. When I feel Christian's erection begin to harden between us, I immediately wonder what it would feel like to have him make love to me. With Christian's trust issues and my inability to have him restrain my hands I know it's going to be a challenge but right now, with how good his body feels against mine, I'm determined to find a way that we can be together. I don't know what the answer is, but I love the way his body feels against mine. The thought of him lying above me, thrusting into me as he makes love to me is incredibly arousing. I wish that things were different between us and that we wouldn't have to overcome this big obstacle but at the same time this issue is just as much mine as it is his.

"Where's your soap?" Christian asks, completely surprising me.

"Over there," I gesture towards the little built in shelf between the showers where my toiletries are.

He takes my body wash and squeezes a generous portion into his hands before stepping back over to me. His hands wrap around my front, he pulls me against him as he spreads the soap over my body. His hands are exploring my body as he spreads the body wash. He continues to spread the soap over my body, focusing on my chest, stomach, arms and thighs. All the while he is kissing, sucking and nibbling at my neck which is turning me again. Our bodies are sliding against each other, aided by the soap now between us. I can feel Christian's firm erection against my ass; it's silly but feeling it reassures me that his attraction to me didn't change when I took my clothes off. I know I shouldn't have assumed it would but…being told something over and over again for so long can really make you doubt yourself.

Christian pulls us back under the water, letting it wash the soap away as his fingers continue to explore my body. He pulls away from me only momentarily to allow the water to wash the soap from my back and off of him before turning me around so I'm facing him. He turns the shower heads away from us and urges me to back up so I'm closer to the shower wall; I look at him questioningly but he doesn't answer my unasked question with words. Instead, he drops to his knees directly in front of me; his hands grasp my thighs as he pulls me even closer to him.

"Christian!" I gasp when he throws my leg over his shoulder just before openly kissing my sex.

He doesn't say anything, instead his fingers hold me open to him as he now explores this part of my body. His tongue moves from my clit, through my folds to my core, circling the opening but never entering it. Within minutes of Christian dropping to his knees in front of me, I can feel the orgasm starting. It's hard to believe that I have had more orgasms in the past week than I have in my entire life!

"You taste so good," Christian mumbles against me, his breath hot on my skin. I feel my face heat up in embarrassment of his words. No one has ever spoken to me the way Christian does during….this.

"Oh God!" I cry out when he sucks on my clit taking me even higher. My body feels like it's on fire, the only thing I can focus on right now is how incredibly amazing it feels to have Christian's mouth on me. When he slips a finger into my core, I nearly come undone. I'm right on the edge of another amazing orgasm despite the two I had only a few minutes ago when I woke up in Christian's arms.

"CHRISTIAN!" When I feel his teeth every so lightly pinch my clit, I absolutely lose any control of my body. Just as I feel the leg that is holding me up about to give out, Christian reaches up, pressing his hand against my chest so I'm leaning against the cool shower wall. He holds me there just as his mouth moves from my over sensitive clit to my core, where his tongue replaces his fingers. I'm panting and moaning as my body tries to recover from intensity of the orgasm.

Christian gently places the leg that had been resting on his shoulder back onto the floor before slowly kissing his way back up my body. He pauses to suck at my nipples, causing me to gasp at the realization of how incredibly sensitive they are. He takes my hands in his, holding them gently besides us before he leans in and kisses me. There's just enough space between our bodies that we aren't touching each other, yet I can still feel the heat from Christian. I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around his neck and pull his body against mine. He doesn't seem to mind doing that with clothes separating us, but I guess this is too risky for him. Surprisingly I don't mind him holding my hands like this; I guess because it doesn't feel like he's restraining me, it feels like he's just holding my hands.

"We only have today and tomorrow left here, was there anything you still wanted to do that we haven't done yet?" Christian pulls back from me but continues to hold my hand.

"I'd like to go kayaking like we talked about doing yesterday before…"

"How about we finish in here, get changed and go see about getting on the water after lunch?"

"Is there anything you wanted to do before we left?"

"I don't think so. We've done more on this trip than I ever expected to," the look in his eyes confirm my thought that he is referring to what is happening between us rather than activities at the resort.

"Me too," I admit and feel my face flushing with the admission.

Christian kisses me one last time before letting my hands go; he repositions the shower heads so we each have our own water. We both set about finishing our showers separately but still close enough to reach out and touch one another. It's odd taking a shower with someone; having someone watch you perform the tasks that come so naturally to you when you take a shower alone. I've never showered with someone before; it was never anything _he_ ever expressed interest in doing.

Christian finishes before I do; he grabs towels for both of us and hands me one just as I turn off the water. He grabs his clothes and changes in the bathroom while I quickly change in the bedroom. I'm glad that although we just saw each other naked in the shower, Christian didn't assume that I would want to get dressed in front of him. Eventually I'll probably be comfortable enough to do that but I don't know that I'm there yet.

"Are you changed?" Christian calls from the bathroom before coming out.

"Yup, all dressed."

A few minutes later we were in the golf cart and on our way to the activities area of the resort to see if we can go kayaking today.

"I think I'm going to run into the store while you see about the kayak. I want to pick up something," I say when Christian parks the golf cart.

"Okay, I'll meet you in at the bench?" he gestures towards the bench that is between the store and the activities area.

"Sure."

I spend a few minutes walking around the store, looking for something to get Gail to thank her for talking with me yesterday. I'm not sure what I would have done if she hadn't brought up the topic of what had happened. I don't know that Christian and I would have worked things out so quickly if she wasn't as open as she was. I'm still not sure I believe her that Christian is in love with me, but hearing her say that at least confirmed what Christian told me later – that he thinks of me as more than a friend. It takes me a few minutes of walking around the store, which has everything from gifts to toiletries to snacks, before I finally find something that I think she will like. I decide on a pin in the shape of a turtle that is made from different shapes of stones. According to the tag the stones are local from Turtle Island which I thought she would appreciate. Walking up the last aisle, I grab one last item on a whim and head to the check out counter. The cashier scans my bracelet which charges the purchase to our villa and places the items I bought in a decorate bag. I place the small bag in my purse and head out to the bench to meet Christian.

"If we want to grab a quick lunch we can take the glass bottom kayak out in 45 minutes," Christian says as he approaches me moments after I sit down.

"Perfect!"

The glass bottom kayak trip was just amazing; you could literally see everything under the boat as we paddled through the open water. We were able to see the different color coral and even had schools of fish swimming below our boat. I had never experienced anything like that and judging by Christian's face he hadn't either. There was only one other couple on the water with us but it really felt like we were alone the entire time. We spent about two hours on the water before deciding our arms were getting too sore to continue paddling around.

"So tomorrow is our last day here right?" I ask back at the villa later that evening.

"Yes. We have to check out the next day by noon. The resort staff will pick up our luggage by eleven I believe to load it onto the plane. We'll leave from the airport to head back to the states by two if everything goes as planned. The trip back will probably feel much longer because we'll be awake for most of the trip. When we land in Seattle it will be around two in the morning Fiji time but around midnight Seattle time. The time change back shouldn't be as difficult to adjust to as when we flew out."

"Are you going back to work on Monday then?"

"Yes, though I have decided if I'm going to be working from home or if I will head into the office. I should head to GEH but it might depend on how exhausted I am."

"I was thinking I should meet with Ginny next week. If the press doesn't know that I'm working there, I should be able to meet with her a few times without them knowing to at least get a feel for things. I have so much to learn about running the bakery…"

"When it comes to the book keeping and finances, I have plenty of staff at GEH who could offer you some advice once you get in there if you want. Although GEH doesn't own bakeries, I think the systems we have in place for the Mile High Club could be scaled back to meet your needs at the bakery. Or you might want to keep Ginny's system that she has been using-"

"No, definitely not," I giggle. "Her books are all done by hand; I swear she's so afraid of technology and won't try anything new. I definitely want something that is computerized, so maybe once I can get a copy of what she has-"

"I have a copy of her books for the last two years," Christian interrupts.

"You do?"

"Part of the due diligence process. I needed to make sure the bakery was doing well financially before I purchased it. If it was struggling or wasn't turning a decent profit I wouldn't have purchased it for you; it didn't make sense to purchase something that you would work day in and day out for without collecting a decent paycheck."

"Oh, that makes sense. Ginny never really talked about how the bakery itself was doing. I just assumed since we were always so busy that it was doing okay."

"And it most definitely is. I think there's room for improvement, especially with some of the vendors she is working with but those are things you can decide."

"I think I would like to take you up on the offer to have someone at GEH help me set up a decent book keeping system if you don't mind."

"Of course, once we get back and you're ready I can set you up with my head of finance. He's amazing with spreadsheets and formulas; he can show you what we use for the Mile High Club if that's something you might want to use or he can develop a program specific for the bakery."

"Thank you. I think that would be a big help. It's kind of hard to believe that in two days we'll be back in Seattle. In a way it feels like we've been gone for so long…"

"I think it's because we don't have to deal with reality out here. There's no business meetings, no reporters, no deadlines and no security issues to worry about. We've been able to pretend none of that exists for the last week."

"It's been nice."

"It has. Although I expect the reporters are going to be worse when we first get back to Seattle."

"Really? Why?"

"Because everyone's going to want the first picture of Mr. and Mrs. Grey; we released the one from our wedding of course but they're going to want their own."

"Oh, I suppose I should arrange for my name to be changed when we get back."

"The applications are waiting for you in my office, all you will need to do is sign them. My legal department has taken care of completing everything and should have attached our marriage license but if it hasn't come in yet that might be the one thing we have to wait for."

"Oh, wow…thanks."

"You should also have insurance and bank cards waiting for you when we get back."

"Insurance cards?"

"Medical, dental and vision. GEH offers complete medical care to all of it's employees and their families. You won't have any deductibles or out of pocket expenses. I can assure you the coverage is far better than any that you might currently have but if you want to compare plans I can have someone in my benefits department call you-"

"Christian, that won't be necessary. I don't have medical coverage now so there's nothing to compare. I just wasn't expecting it."

"You don't have health insurance? How do you….what if….?"

"I looked into getting health insurance, trust me it isn't because I don't want it. I made too much money to qualify for state funded insurance yet to purchase a policy out of pocket would cost me more than four hundred dollars a month. And even then, the coverage itself wasn't the greatest and came with high costs."

"What if you got sick?"

"There are plenty of clinics that will work a payment plan out with you or a few even offer a sliding fee based on how much you earn. Thankfully I don't get sick too often so it wasn't an issue. I made sure to get an annual physical just in case but otherwise I rarely have to go to the doctor."

"Well you don't have to worry about that any longer. Like I said GEH's medical coverage is one of the best on the market. I didn't want my employees having to worry about medical bills for themselves or their families especially if they had a major medical issue."

"Thank you. I can cover the cost of my premium-"

"No. These benefits are provided to all employees at no cost to them. Adding you to the insurance policy doesn't cost me anything but even if it did I wouldn't let you pay for it Ana. Besides our it's in our paperwork that I cover your medical expenses."

"I just assumed that meant a doctor bill or something; I wasn't expecting that to mean adding me to your health insurance plan."

"Well this way you don't have to worry about dealing with bills if you need to go somewhere."

"And a bank card? I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Of course, you've been added as a joint owner to my bank account-"

"Christian! I don't need or want access to your money!"

"I know you don't need or want access to it, but you're going to have expenses that you wouldn't otherwise have being married to me. It's only fair that I cover those expenses. You're a joint owner on one of my personal bank accounts. I want you to use it for any expenses you have. I don't care if it's getting your nails done, your hair cut or going out to lunch with Mia."

"I don't feel comfortable using your money Christian. It was hard enough to use your card to pay for the dress when Mia and I went shopping, but hair and nail appointments?"

"I know it's going to take you some time to get used to it. I'm sure you're used to having to worry about every penny you spend and how you're going to afford the next thing that comes up. But you don't have to any longer."

"But-"

"Chances are you wouldn't be buying the things you're going to buy or getting your hair and nails done as often as you will be if you weren't married to me. It's only right that I pay for those things."

"I just don't feel right. I have my own money, I think I should be using that."

"Ana, this isn't about you having or not having money. It just makes sense since these expenses would be related to me. Ana, I have more money that I can spend in a lifetime, probably two lifetimes. Please don't worry about spending my money. I love that you are concerned about it, but please you don't need to be."

"I don't know."

"Just don't think about it okay? Let me do this for you…."

I shrug my shoulders without answering; I really don't feel comfortable using the money Christian earns working so hard for something like getting my hair done. I see his point about it though; with the media hounding us appearances are going to be more important than they've ever been. I guess I just never thought that would mean that he would make me a joint owner on his bank account. It seems….

"I trust you Ana," he leans over and kisses me which immediately ends my worried thoughts.

 _Author's Note: Since today is Friday, this will be my last update for the week. The next update will be up late Monday or early Tuesday depending on how quickly I can write the next chapter. I want to once again thank all people who have reviewed and sent me PMs about this story. I am truly amazed that this story is favored by so many readers! Since so many of you are asking….I will let you in on a little secret. Ana and Christian will take their relationship to the next level before they leave from their honeymoon._


	50. Chapter 50

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 50 APOV:**

I wake up before Christian and way earlier than I think I have been awake this entire trip. It's funny, in Seattle, we were both morning people but apparently in Fiji we aren't morning people any longer. I don't think either of us have started the day before nine any morning this week; a few mornings I think we were in bed until after ten. This morning though I'm awake at six, yet Christian is sound asleep next to me. Today is our last full day in Fiji; tomorrow night we will be back in Seattle and back to reality. It's hard to think about being back in Seattle and having to deal with reporters, schedules, business dinners and charity events again; things here are so different. I can't help but wonder if things will change between me and Christian when we get back to Seattle and real life takes over. Things have been so good here between us; I hate the thought of losing any of that. I especially don't want to lose this: Christian's arm wrapped around my waist and his body pressed up against mine as we sleep. We haven't talked about what our sleeping arrangements will be once we get back, though if it were up to me I would keep things just as they are right now. I don't understand it but for whatever reason sharing a bed seems to keep Christian's nightmares away. I doubted his simple explanation as to why he had a nightmare the other night, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. It Seattle, he had nightmares nearly every night for the two weeks I lived with him, yet we spent almost an entire week sharing a bed and the only time he had a nightmare was when we slept separately.

I gently lift Christian's arm from my stomach and slip out of bed; I use the bathroom and toss on a robe before heading to the kitchen. I grab the binder of resort activities and a cup of coffee and head out the patio. The air is cool but not quite chilly; it's actually pretty comfortable outside despite the little clothing I am wearing right now. The silk bathrobe that the resort provides certainly wasn't designed for warmth, so it's a good thing that it's not too cold outside this morning.

I spend the next few minutes planning out our last day on the island; Christian had said there wasn't anything specific he wanted to do before he left so I thought it would be nice to surprise him. A few phone calls later I have managed to arrange our entire day, one that I hope he will enjoy. Everything planned today was done with Christian in mind; I'm really hoping that he likes what I have picked out to do on our last day here. I'm nervous though, I want him to enjoy today but I'm worried that he might not like something I arranged. I'd like to think I know him fairly well but the reality is we have only known each other a few short months so I could easily be wrong. He has spent so much time and money into doing things that make me happy, I want to do this for him. Even though it's nothing compare to what he has done for me, it's important to me that he enjoy today. Hopefully I know Christian as well as I think I do and what I have planned pays off.

"You're up early," Christian finally joins me on the patio a couple of hours later.

"You slept late."

"I don't know how I'm going to get back on schedule when we get home tomorrow. I don't think I've been awake before eight this entire week."

"I know, I was thinking the same thing earlier," I don't let on that I was also wondering if things will change between us. "I was going to wake you in a few minutes anyway, I planned a few things today and if we don't get a move on it we won't be able to get everything done."

" _You_ planned a few things?" I can tell how surprised he is by his tone; in the few months we've known each other I haven't planned much or taken the lead often on things we do. By the definition of our original arrangement Christian was the planner: he told Elena where and when he needed me and I showed up. With our revised arrangement not much has changed in that sense. Christian will need to continue to tell me when and where he needs me so the mirage of our marriage continues and the press stays off of his back allowing him to run GEH as he needs to.

"Yes, I've planned the entire day. Brunch should be here in a few minutes; we need to leave within an hour if we are to stay on schedule."

"On schedule?"

"Of course, two of our activities have set times that they occur. There's an activity in the middle that if times allows we can do but it doesn't have a strict start time like the others."

"Are you going to tell me what we're doing today?"

"Nope, it's a surprise," I chuckle at his heavy sigh knowing that he has done this same thing to me a couple of times now. He surprised me when he had Sawyer bring me to the marina for a day on The Grace, when we went gliding…hell he even surprised me when he arranged the entire honeymoon without telling me the destination until we were on the plane waiting to take off.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Nope."

He laughs but wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck softly. He starts sucking and nibbling on my neck as his hands struggle to untie the knot holding my bathrobe closed. Eventually he gives up with the knot, instead sliding his hands between the folds of the bathrobe, groaning when he finds my silk covered breasts. I can feel him hardening against me, leaving me no doubt that he wants me as much as I want him right now. Things have definitely changed for us in this department; lately neither of us can keep our hands off of each other. I had thought that after I flipped out at Escala that night, things would have cooled off between us but things have only heated up since then.

I'm startled when I hear someone in the villa behind us, but Christian holds me tight against him not letting me turn around to see who it is. The staff here somehow perform their jobs without ever interrupting the guests. Our brunch was delivered and they left all without saying a word or interrupting us. Thankfully from where they were in the villa, they couldn't see us on the patio but even if they could, Christian's back is all they would be able to see. When Christian sucks my ear lobe into his mouth I moan loudly, thankful that the staff left us only moments ago.

"I want you Ana…." He whispers, pressing his hardness against my ass leaving me absolutely no doubt how true his words are.

"I want you too," I admit breathlessly. His breath hitches with my admission, I guess I surprised him with my honesty. I do want Christian, just as much as he wants me; we just need to figure out how that can happen with our issues.

"Let's go take a shower."

"Later…we need to eat and get ready to leave."

"It can wait."

"It can't….we have appointment times."

"Reschedule them."

"It was the only time left."

"Hummppppffff."

I turn around so I'm facing him and wrap my arms around his neck. His arms immediately go around my waist anchoring me to him. The silk fabric of my nightie and bathrobe allow me to feel every muscle in his body when he holds me against him.

"We'll take that shower later tonight, I promise," I kiss him gently on the lips even though I want nothing more than to deepen the kiss and take him up on his offer for another shower together especially seeing how enjoyable the first one was.

"Tonight," he reluctantly agrees before kissing me one last time.

After eating a quick brunch we head into separate bathrooms to quickly wash up and get changed. I'd much rather have Christian in here with me than in the guest bathroom but I know if he were here we would never make our reservation. I was so tempted to cancel everything I had planned in favor of spending the day right here with Christian especially after he suggested we take another shower together. But, at the same time I really wanted to do this for Christian; I wanted to spend our last day on the island doing things that Christian might choose to do for himself.

"Are you ready Ana?" Christian knocks on the door just as I'm slipping on my shoes.

"All done."

He comes into the bedroom we share to grab a pair of socks out of the dresser before sitting on the bed next to me. It really touches me that even though we have been sharing this bedroom for the entire trip, he continues to knock before coming in especially if he knows I'm getting dressed. I like that he doesn't take whatever is happening between us for granted. I don't know how to label what is happening between us but I know this week things have definitely changed between us. We've gone from incredibly close friends to something much more.

"So where to?" he asks.

"I told you it's a surprise."

"Do I need to bring anything? Bathing suit, towel…?"

"Nope, just you."

We take the golf cart through the resort, parking in the lot by the dock where we first arrived on the island. I see Christian's immediate confusion when he sees a plane waiting for us.

"Ana….if you didn't arrange for Taylor to accompany us on this trip, I'm afraid we can't go. We can't leave the island-"

"Christian, technically we're leaving the island but really in way we're not. I spoke with Taylor this morning and he agreed we didn't need security for this trip."

"What do you mean we're leaving the island but we're not?"

"It's an island tour by air. The plane is going to take us around the entire island as well over the nearby islands. It's just the two of u and pilot on the trip so Taylor didn't feel there was a security risk. We won't be landing until we return to Turtle Island. However, Taylor said if you insisted he could be here within minutes-"

"No. He's right, we don't need him. I'm sorry I assumed you wouldn't have thought about security."

"Don't be. When I first arranged this I didn't even think about security, it wasn't until after I finalized all of the plans that I thought to run this trip by Taylor to be sure he didn't feel we needed security. Being here is different; in Seattle we need security whenever we leave Escala but here we have so much more flexibility. It was easy to forget that I should ask Taylor."

"You're right, we have much more flexibility here than we do in Seattle. I wish it were like this in Seattle; then I wouldn't need security and wouldn't have to worry about what the press thinks of me."

"True, but then we wouldn't be here right now. You yourself said this was your first vacation…." I don't mention than we wouldn't be doing whatever it is we're doing right now.

"You're right, and I've really enjoyed spending this week with you."

"Me too."

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey?" one of the workers from the activities department arrives.

"Yes, that's us," Christian confirms.

"The plane is ready when you are. We are scheduled to take off in the next ten minutes so I would recommend you make your way to the plane as soon as possible."

"Thank you."

We head down the dock to the plane that is waiting for us. I climb up the steps, my legs shaking the entire time. Although I know this plane is safe, I still hate how small it is. As soon as I'm in the plane, I wait for Christian to climb in before gesturing for him to sit closest to the window. Once he is seated, he reaches over and straps me into my seat; my hands were shaking so bad that it made buckling the seat belt difficult.

"Are you okay? We don't have to do this-"

"I'm fine. I just hate how tiny this plane is."

"You are the one who arranged this trip right?" He chuckles.

"Yeah."

I very quickly get over my nervousness once the plane is in the air and we are able to take in the amazing views before us. We are flying much lower than we were when we first arrived on the island which allows us to see so much more of the island. Our pilot takes his time going around Turtle Island, while describing things in detail to us. We see parts of the island that are still undeveloped which really gives you an indication of just how big the island really is. There's so much to do on the section of the island where we are staying that it's hard to think that there are parts that are purposely left undeveloped for the local wildlife. From there we fly over several of the other islands that make up Fiji; the pilot continues to provide us with information on the history of each island and of Fiji in general.

As we circle back to Turtle Island, I can't help but spend a couple of minutes watching Christian. His face is practically glued to the window, watching as we fly over the islands taking everything in. Knowing how much Christian enjoys gliding I had hoped he would enjoy this tour especially in that this was just the two of us as guests on the plane.

"Wow…that was an amazing trip Ana. Thank you for arranging it today," Christian pulls me into his arms the moment I step off the plane and onto the dock. He kisses me, while holding me against him.

"You really liked it? I wasn't sure if you would because it's not like gliding was, but-"

"No, Ana it was really something. To be able to see everything so clearly….we were able to see so much that we couldn't see on the flight in. I read about the air tours on their website when I was researching the island but I didn't think we would fly as low as we did to be able to really see everything. And for some reason I had thought the tour was shorter-"

"It typically is only an hour; I had requested a longer tour so we could look at the other islands."

"Thank you Ana. It was….really something."

"I'm glad you like it."

We walk back to the golf cart hand in hand; I feel much more relaxed than we first arrived. I was more worried about this activity rather than the dinner I planned for later today.

"So what's next on our schedule?" Christian asks as we reach the villa.

"Let's see," I glance at the clock mentally reviewing our schedule. "We have about two hours before we have to be somewhere. I had thought we could swim or go down to the beach one last time? Unless you want to do something-"

"No, that sounds perfect," he interrupts before I have a chance to finish my thought.

"Oh, dinner tonight is formal. I sent your suit out to be cleaned, so it should be back by now."

"You did?"

"I didn't see another suit in the closet, so I assumed you only brought the one that you wore for our wedding?"

"I didn't think I would need another one, but at the last minute I had Taylor add the bag to the plane. I guess I needed it after all."

"I hope you don't mind-"

"Of course not. Although, I have to admit I'm intrigued as to what you have planned that requires me to where a suit."

"You'll have to wait and see," I smirk at him.

"You know, I normally don't do well when I don't have control over things like this. I'm not one for having my schedule changed at the last minute. Ask Andrea, I have to know my schedule in advance and know immediately of any changes that are made. Surprises for me are extremely rare, especially with Taylor, Andrea, Welch and Barney at GEH ensuring that surprises don't occur."

"I'm sorry-" SHIT I didn't think of that. I should have realized he was like that given that he runs his own company where he has complete control over everything. Thinking about it now I realize how he plans out pretty much everything; I should have recognized he would be uncomfortable leaving today's schedule unknown.

"Don't tell Andrea, but I've kind of enjoyed this week not having too much scheduled. And what's more surprising is that I'm okay with you having planned today without me knowing anything."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he looks out at the water for a few minutes without saying anything. I'm not sure what he's thinking right now but something tells me not to ask him. I hadn't thought about how difficult it would be for Christian to not have complete control over everything. The more I think about it the more I see how he has been in complete control almost since the moment we met.

"Did you want to head down to the beach?" I ask.

"Yes, I'll just go change."

We don't have much time, but I'm glad we were able to spend some time today on the private beach at the villa. I've really enjoyed how close the water is to our villa; I'm still amazed that each villa has its own private beach. Whoever expects to go on vacation and have a large section of a beach all to themselves? We both changed into swimsuits, but didn't actually end up going in the water. We walked in the water, stopping every so often so I could pick up a seashell, but neither of us made any attempt to actually go swimming. Before I knew it, we were heading back to the villa to get changed for dinner.

Unlike Christian, the wardrobe that was packed for me for this trip included a dress that was perfect for tonight. Tonight I'm wearing a dark red halter top dress that falls just to my knees; I quickly put my hair up and apply a little make up before heading out to the living room where Christian is waiting for me.

"Wow…Ana you look…."

"Thank you," I find myself blushing at his compliment.

In a few steps he is in front of me running his hands along the sides of my dress before wrapping them around me so he can feel my bare back. I think I hear him groan ever so quietly before he leans in and kisses me. Within moments of his lips finding mine, the kiss is deepened, the need from earlier this morning quickly returning for both of us. By the time Christian pulls away we are both breathless and once again I'm tempted to just cancel everything and suggest we spend our last evening on the island right here.

"We need to go right?" Christian whispers.

"We do," I reluctantly admit even though once again I'm tempted to cancel our plans and just stay here.

Christian kisses me one last time before pulling completely away; I lean up and wipe my lipstick from his lips which for some reason makes him blush. It's rare for Christian to blush; I can't help but giggle that something as simple as that made him blush yet so many of the other things we've done haven't. Christian leads me by the hand out to the golf cart; since he doesn't know where we are going, I drive us to another part of the island where we walk down yet another dock. A large boat is waiting for us at the end of the dock; this time we are not alone but there are only a handful of guests on the cruise tonight.

"The dinner cruise?" Christian asks.

"I thought it might be nice to see the island one last time before we left. It's supposed to be really beautiful at sunset," I shrug.

"I've heard some great things about this cruise; the views of the island are supposed to be breathtaking."

We board a few minutes later and head out to the large deck to watch as we pull away from the island. The cruise is scheduled to take us around Turtle Island and around one of the neighboring islands. The deck of the ship is set up for an obvious very intimate dinner; several small tables outline the perimeter of the boat, ensuring that each couple has an unobscured view as we move through the water. In the middle of the deck is a small dance floor; it's only when I see it do I realize that there is soft music playing in the background. We are immediately escorted to the table at the front of the deck before three other couples join us on the deck. Wine and appetizers are brought out just as we pull away from the dock. Everything is timed just perfectly, we're about halfway around the island as the sun meets the horizon which is the same time that the main course is served.

"Dance with me?" Christian asks once we finish our dinner.

"Sure."

Christian takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor where another couple is dancing. Instead of placing his hand on my hip like he has done every other time we have danced, he wraps his arm around my back pulling me close to him. My hand is on his bicep; our bodies are only inches apart from each other which makes the dance feel so much more intimate than the other dances we have shared. He leads me around the dance floor, somehow ensuring we never get too close to the other couple even though his eyes are always on mine.

"You look really beautiful tonight Ana," he whispers before kissing me just as the song comes to an end.

"Thank you."

We walk back to our table just as the boat approaches the smaller nearby island that we scheduled to go around tonight. We eat a delicious desert complemented by another glass of wine before the ship begins to head back to Turtle Island. The sun has now set, leaving the water dark around us but it still somehow looks just as amazing as it does during the daylight.

"Your cold," Christian rubs my arms as we wait to leave the boat.

"I hadn't noticed but now that you mention it…."

"Here," he shrugs off his suit jacket and places it over my shoulders.

"Are you sure? Won't you be cold?"

"I'm wearing a little more clothing than you are," he chuckles.

I slip my arms through the sleeves ; I instantly feel warmed, although that could have something to do with Christian's body being pressed against my back. We both gaze out at the water one last time before disembarking from the ship to head back to our villa for our last night in Fiji. The week has flown by incredibly fast; it's hard to think that tomorrow night we will be back in Seattle

"Thank you for arranging everything today Ana; you….I'm glad we were able to really see the island before we left," Christian says once we are back at the villa.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, and didn't mind that I surprised you."

"You definitely surprised me by planning everything."

"I think I'm going to go change into something a little more comfortable," I say.

"I'm going to take a glass of wine out on the patio, did you want one?"

"Sure, I'll meet you out there in a few minutes."

Entering our bedroom, I close the door and head over to the dresser to find something to wear for tonight. I only have a few pajamas left that I haven't worn and all are pretty…revealing which I think will work for the last part of the day that I have planned. This is the part of the day that I was most uncertain and nervous about. I shake my head and start getting undressed; I shrug off Christian's suit jacket placing it on the bed. As I do, I see something gray sticking out of the pocket; pulling it out I realize it is the tie that Christian wore tonight and at our wedding. At some point on the cruise he must have taken it off and stuffed it into his pocket. The tie is soft and warm and smells like Christian. I quickly change out of my dress and into one of the more revealing nighties that had been packed for the trip. I take Christian's tie and slowly place it over my wrists before tightening it just a little. The tie is not so tight that I wouldn't be able to free my hands if I needed to, but I hope it's tight enough to prevent Christian from worrying that I'll touch him. I take a deep breath, slowly letting it out as my shaking hands reach for the doorknob; I think I'm officially more nervous than I've ever been. If Christian were to reject me right now I don't know what I would do. I need to do this though; I need to do this for Christian…

I shake my head and slowly open the door, stepping out cautiously still wondering if this plan is going to completely backfire on me. I walk through the living room to the patio doors; Christian is standing just outside the doors looking out at the ocean in the background. He must sense me because he turns around as soon as I'm near him; his mouth is wide open and his eyes trial my body from head to toe.

"Make love to me Christian…."

 _Author's Note: I'm going to do my best to get the next chapter up before Christmas, but there are no promises. If I cannot post before Christmas, the next chapter won't be up until Monday. A special thank you to MrsCarson for the idea of using Christian's tie from their wedding for their first time! If I don't get another chapter posted before the holiday, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! It means so much to me that you each take the time out of your busy days to read and post reviews and even send me PMs about this story!_


	51. Chapter 51

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 51 CPOV:**

My jaw is on the floor and my eyes are about to pop out of my head; I can't think straight to ask Ana what the hell she is doing. She's standing in front of me wearing…well practically nothing. The "nightie" she is wearing is like nothing she has worn this entire trip. Essentially it's a bra that pushes her beautiful breasts up and closer to each other which makes me want to run my tongue along her cleavage so badly. In the middle of this "bra" is bow which I assume is the only thing holding the cups together. From the bottom of the bra cups is a see through black lace fabric which is wide open in the middle and only comes down to just below her waist. Underneath Ana is wearing matching panties which have only a small piece of fabric covering her sex; a thin piece of string connects the triangle to the back. What shocks me even more than the outfit, which I didn't think was possible, is that Ana's hands are bound in front of her with the tie that I had worn at dinner tonight.

"Make love to me Christian," her voice is barely above a whisper though I have no problems hearing her request despite my heart beating so loudly.

"Ana….I….."

FUCK! I can't even get a sentence out! I never thought this day would come; I thought Ana and I would never be able to…. FUCK! I don't know how to make love to a woman! I know how to fuck women, not make love. What if I'm too rough with her? What if I hurt her? What if….

Ana's hands are suddenly squeezing mine; she is now standing in front of me, her eyes filled with worry and something else that I can't place. I look between us, at her hands in mine, and my eyes focus on the tie that is wrapped around her wrists. She did this for me; she restrained her hands for me even though having her hands restrained is a big fear of hers. I am blown away by the fact that she did this for me; that she would risk another flashback/panic attack to be with me. I can't recall anyone ever doing something so incredibly selfless before. I don't know anyone who would put themselves at risk, like Ana is doing right now, just for me. I wish to hell I didn't need this, that Ana wouldn't have to be doing this just to be with me, but this is the only way I know.

"Ana…I don't want to hurt you," I run my fingers along the soft fabric of the tie that is holding her wrists together.

"You won't Christian."

"How do you know? I don't want to….what if I do something that…?"

"Just don't hold my hands," her voice is shaky as her nerves come through the confidence she is trying to portray. "As long as you don't hold them, I'll be fine."

"What if-" I don't get to finish my sentence; Ana cuts me off by placing her lips against mine. She kisses me softly, almost cautiously as if she is waiting for my response; I can't help but wrap my arms around her waist and pull her even closer to me. Her chest is against mine, her hands awkwardly between us but she doesn't complain. Instead, she takes advantage of her position and brings her hands just under my shirt, running her fingers along the waistband of my pants.

"Are you sure Ana?" I ask her again, giving her the chance to stop things before they go any further.

"I'm sure Christian," she may be as nervous as I am but the way she is looking at me right now leaves me no doubt that she wants this just as much as I do.

"If I do anything-"

"You won't."

I reach between us, pulling her bound wrists up and placing them over my neck before my lips find hers once again. This time when I pull her close to me there is nothing between our bodies except for my clothes and the tiny outfit she is wearing. She moans into my mouth when I grip her ass and pull her against my dick which is pressing uncomfortably against my pants. We explore each other's' mouths and my hands explore what's underneath the little nightie that Ana is wearing. When Ana starts moving against me, I lift her up and carry her to the bedroom. With her legs wrapped around my waist I sit on the edge of the bed loving how she feels against me like this. I reach between us and gently tug at the bow is between her breasts; immediately the outfit falls open, completely leaving her breasts exposed for me. With my hands on her hips, I ease her up on her knees so I can take a nipple into my mouth. She gasps, clutching onto my hair, when I suck the little peak harder. Her breathing is heavy and the sounds that she is making right now goes straight to my dick. Reaching between us, I can't help but groan when I realize how wet she is for me.

When I start to move from one of her nipples to the other, Ana surprises me by lowering herself back onto me and bringing her lips to mine. Her tongue immediately finds mine; I can't seem to keep my hands off her of her beautiful body. I love how soft, yet firm, her body is and how responsive she is to me.

"Christian…." she moans against my lips when I pull her against my dick.

"Ana, you're so fucking beautiful. I love the way your body feels," I run my hands up and down her bare back. She immediately arches into me, pushing her hardened nipples into my chest. "I want you Ana, more than I've ever wanted anyone before."

"Please Christian, make love to me," she whispers before running her tongue along the edge of my ear. I groan, my hips involuntarily flex against her sex causing her to moan loudly.

With my arm wrapped firmly around her waist, I hold her tight against me as I stand up and turn us around before lying her back on the bed. I take her arms and gently lift her hands over my head; she blushes as she lays in the middle of the bed we have shared all week. Her nightie has fallen completely open, her hardened nipples are begging for my attention which I can't ignore. Ana gasps when I lean down and take one into my mouth, sucking and gently nibbling on it. She arches her back, essentially pushing her chest against my mouth. I feel her fingers in my hair, tugging me closer to her. Keeping my mouth on her nipple, I climb back onto the bed, leaning over body so that I'm lying between her legs. She moans when I let her nipple go, but gasps again when I quickly take the other one in my mouth. I bring my hand between us and gently run my fingers along the seam of her panties. Her hips thrust up push her sex against my hand when I lightly brush over her clit. I tease her clit for a few moments before slipping my fingers beneath her panties.

"Christian….Oh…..please….." she moans when my finger slides through her wet folds.

"I'll take care of you," I nip at peak and slowly start kissing my way down to her sex.

"No….Christian….please, I want you," she whispers which immediately stops me dead in my tracks.

"Are you sure Ana? If you don't want to-"

"I want you Christian."

I kneel over her, bending down to kiss her one last time before climbing back off the bed. I slowly undress, my shaking hands make unbuttoning my shirt more difficult than it should be. I can't recall ever being this nervous with a woman. The confidence I usually have is completely gone; the only thing I can think about is making sure that Ana enjoys this. With my final piece of clothing gone, I kneel at Ana's feet and slowly pull her thong down her beautiful legs. I kiss my way back up her legs, pausing only briefly to slide my tongue lazily over her sex. She arches against me, moaning loudly; I repeat the move one more time before continue to kiss my way up her body. When I finally reach her mouth, I kiss her deeply, moaning when her tongue runs over my lips. My dick is against her sex; I can feel the warmth coming off of her body. I'm about to reach between us to position myself at her opening when I realize we're missing one thing.

FUCK! I didn't pack any condoms for our trip! I never thought this would happen; I never thought we would get to this point…ever let alone get here on this trip. I've never gone without a condom before; I've always insisted on one even when I knew the woman was on birth control. It kept things from becoming too intimate; which until now is not something I've ever wanted. I know Ana isn't likely to be on birth control since she had no interest in being with someone after her ex, but if she were to tell me she were on birth control right now I would probably suck fuck the condom, and slide right into her without a second thought. The fact that I want to go bare with her surprises me; I've never wanted that before. However, since she's not on birth control I know we need a condom tonight.

"Ana, I don't have-"

"On the nightstand," she pants and looks at the table next to us.

I don't know how I missed it when we walked in, but on the nightstand next to the bed is an unopened box of condoms. I don't know when she got these, but for some reason the thought that she planned this beyond today means a lot to me. I'm relieved that she thought to get condoms because I don't know that if they weren't here if I would be able to stop myself from sliding into her.

I kiss Ana one more time before reaching over and grabbing the box, ripping it open and yanking one of the squares free from the strip. I swear I manage to get the condom out of the package and over my dick in record time, all while Ana is lying in front of me looking more beautiful than ever.

"Are you sure?" I ask her just as I position myself at her opening, resisting the urge to just slam into her.

Instead of answering me with words, she reaches up and kisses me hungrily, her tongue immediately thrusts into my mouth desperately seeking out my own. A quick glance up confirms that her hands are above her head and even though they aren't secured to anything, just having them bound is enough to squash any fear I have that she will touch me.

"Look at me Ana," I all but beg her as I slowly ease into her.

Her eyes are heavy with need but she opens them at my request; I need Ana to be looking at me right now. I need to know that she isn't thinking about anything other than how good I'm going to make her body feel in the next few minutes. I need to know that what I'm doing isn't bothering her; that having her hands restrained doesn't somehow suddenly trigger a flashback for her. I need to know that she isn't letting that jackass ex of hers back into her head, especially not right now.

"Are you okay?" I start to pull back when her eyes close tightly.

"I'm fine," she wraps her legs around my thighs and tries to urge me back to her.

"Am I hurting you?" I whisper, worried about her answer.

"No, it was just little….uncomfortable," she blushes a deep shade of red. "It's been a really long time and you're…bigger…."

"Do you want to stop?"

"No! Please…" she leans up and kisses me again.

I slide my arm under her waist and slowly slide back into her, only stopping once I am fully inside of her. I don't move, giving us both the chance to adjust to the new feeling. She is gripping me so tightly right now that I know if I move even the slightest I will embarrass myself before things even get started.

"You're so tight Ana….God….you feel so fucking good," I gently nip at her ear causing her to moan and grip me even tighter.

When I finally feel that I can resist the urge to explode inside of her, I slowly begin moving in and out of her, loving the way her body grips me each time I try to pull out and then sucks me back in when I push into her.

"Look at me Ana."

Her eyes open and when they find mine I have no doubt that she is only thinking of me right now. Her eyes are filled with hunger, lust and arousal all of which I hope she sees in mine. I've never wanted someone as much as I've wanted Ana. Being inside of Ana feels like nothing I've ever experienced before; I feel this incredible connection to Ana right now. It's never bene like this with any other woman; sex has always just been sex, there has never been any connection beyond a physical attraction to one another. Yet with Ana…it seems to go beyond that.

"Ohhhhhhhh," she moans, her body arching against mine and I can feel her walls clutching me even tighter. I have to fight off the urge to come with her; I'm not ready for this to end. Instead I lean forward a little, changing the position so her clit rubs against me each time I sink deep into her.

"CHRISTIAN!" she screams out her release when I gently pinch her nipple.

I love watching her come, something I don't think I've ever really paid attention to with any of the other women I've been with. Of course I'd make sure they reached an orgasm before I did, but I never really bothered to watch them when they found their release. Ana….is absolutely beautiful and incredibly sexy when she comes. Her entire body tenses just before she finds her release at which point her body arches and she calls out my name the moment it finally hits her.

I gently move Ana's arms, placing them around my neck before I bring her body closer to mine and slowly move us up the bed. Ana gasps in surprise and wraps her legs tighter around my waist. I slowly move us to the front of the bed, slowly turning us around so that I'm sitting with my back against the head board. Somehow in the process of moving, I've slipped free from Ana's warm body. Ana lifts her arms from around my neck and slowly moves them between our bodies. I'm holding my breath as I watch her; her hands are only an inch or so away from my chest. I don't know if she senses my anxiety, but as she lifts her body and guides me to her opening, she kisses me running her tongue along my lips at the same time she lowers herself onto me. I groan at the feeling of being back inside of her; loving the way her body wraps tightly around my dick as it stretches around me. She moans when she completely lowers herself onto me, taking me fully into her.

When Ana slowly moves her hands back between us, keeping them close to her body, I stop her by taking her hands in mine. With her lips still on mine, I make a decision to do something else I've never done with anyone other than Ana. I take a deep breath, holding it before slowly letting it out. I focus on the way Ana's lips feel against mine, the way her sex is tightening around me and try to squash the anxiety that is threatening to rise in me. I slowly loosen the tie from around Ana's wrists until it slips off of her; she gasps against my lips at the realization of what I just did.

"Christian-"

"I trust you Ana," I hope my voice doesn't sound as shaky to her as it does to me.

"Are you sure? I don't mind-"

I cut her off by pulling her back down to me and kissing her deeply; she moans and moments later I feel her hands in my hair. I can't help but run my hands over her beautiful body, needing to touch every part of her. When my hands reach her hips, I urge her to move against me.

"You feel amazing Ana….so damn good," I reach between us and cup her firm breasts, rolling her nipples between my fingers. She starts moving against me faster, clenching me tighter as her arousal pushes her closer to another release.

"Christian…oh God….." she pants against my lips.

I wrap my arms around her back, holding her against me as I begin thrusting in and out of her throbbing sex from below. Her head drops to my shoulder, her arms are around my neck, her fingers are tugging at my hair which brings me closer to my own release but I'm determined that she comes again before I do. I run my hands along her back, down to her soft ass cheeks which I grip hard as the need to come intensifies. Ana is moaning loudly but when I feel her teeth against my earlobe any sense of control I had is gone. I start thrusting hard and fast into her, chasing my own orgasm while hoping she reaches her own at the same time.

"Fuck….Ana….I need to…."

"Right….there….too…"

We both fall over the edge together with our names on each other's lips. Ana continues to move against me, riding out the last waves of her orgasm. I pull her against me, her body trembling against my own as we both try to bring our breathing back to normal.

"God Christian….that was…."

"Yeah…." There are absolutely no words to describe how that felt. Intense, amazing, earth shattering…all of those words seem insufficient to describe what just happened between us.

I don't know how long we sit like that but neither of us seem eager to break our connection. When I feel Ana's body get heavier against me I know she's likely about to fall asleep. If it wasn't for this damn condom that I need to take care of, I would leave her exactly where she is right now and let her sleep.

"Hmmmm?" she moans as I slowly lower us to the bed turning our bodies so we are lying side by side.

"I need to go take care of this, I'll be right back," I kiss her on the lips and slowly let myself slip from her body.

She doesn't move or really even acknowledge that I left the bed, instead she lays in our bed completely naked. I quickly dispose of the condom in the bathroom and wash up before heading back to our bed. I climb in next to Ana, she immediately presses her back against my chest as soon as I'm close to her. I slip my arm under her pillow, the other around her waist and close my eyes letting sleep quickly find me. For the first time Ana and I fall asleep completely nude and it feels absolutely amazing to have her bare skin pressed against mine.

I wake up sometime before the sun comes up with Ana in my arms, something I don't know that I will ever get used to. Unable to resist, my hand that was lying across her stomach slowly moves up to her nipples which immediately harden at my touch. When she wiggles her ass against me, I groan and lean over to kiss her neck. I'm kissing, sucking and nibbling at her neck not able to get enough of her. I stop teasing her hardened nipples and slide my hand down her stomach to her sex. She lets out the quietest moan when my fingers slide through her folds. Placing her leg over mine, I take my time exploring her sex. Within moments Ana is grinding against me, both my hand and my dick which is against her ass. She gasps when I slip a finger into her, immediately clenching me, pulling me in deeper.

"Christian…" she leans up and manages to kiss me despite the awkward position.

"I want you Ana."

Without giving me any warning, Ana takes her leg off of mine and quickly rolls over so we are both lying on our sides face to face. Before I can even think about the possibility of her touching me in this position, she leans forward and kisses me. Our tongues dance and fight for dominance; I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer to me. Ana's hand is on my hip, holding me against her letting me know just how much she wants me.

Ana reaches behind her and grabs one of the condoms that were sitting on the nightstand. She pulls her lips from mine only long enough to rip the package open with her teeth which for some reason is one of the sexist things I've ever seen.

"I've….never done this," she whispers, stroking my dick with one hand while holding the condom with the other.

Even though I know she's referring to the condom she is about to put on me, I can't help but think "me either, me either," referring to everything but the condom.

"Just pinch the top as you roll it on."

Once the condom is on, Ana moves herself back against me, placing me right against her sex. Her one hand moves back up to my shoulder while the other holds my hip tightly. When she moves just the slightest against me, I groan and crush my lips against hers. I place her leg over my thigh and thrust up, sliding completely into her in one swift move. She moans against my mouth before pushing herself against me, pushing me even deeper into her.

"God…Ana….you feel so fucking good."

Gripping her ass, I move her against me hard and fast. She's moaning and gasping against me, her walls are convulsing around me desperately trying to pull me into the orgasm with her. When I suck her lip into my mouth she thrusts against me harder and deeper several times until she explodes around me. The intensity of her orgasm surprises me and I'm not able to hold my own back.

"Wow…."

"I never knew it could be like that."

"It's never been like that," I whisper the admission. "I've never done that with anyone else before."

"What do you mean you've never done what?"

"I've never made love to a woman before."

"How is that possible? I mean, clearly you've been with women…"

"I've _fucked_ women before Ana…I've never made love to anyone before last night."

"You just _fucked_ them?"

"Yeah," suddenly I'm ashamed of my past even though I've done nothing wrong and every woman I've ever been with knew that I wasn't interested in a commitment.

"So like one night stands? But you and-"

"Just fucking Ana. No emotional connection, no cuddling, just sex."

"It sounds cold."

"I suppose it was."

She doesn't say anything for several minutes; I long to say something but I don't know what to say. It's not like I can apologize for my past, although even if I could I'm not sure I should. I didn't do anything wrong, it's not like I tricked women into thinking they were going to get something further from me than they really were. I quickly dispose of the condom in the trash can next to the nightstand and pull Ana back against me.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you just…. _fuck_ women?"

"I never wanted anything more."

"So what changed?"

"I knew from the moment I first saw you that you deserved better than that. I knew that if we were to ever….it wouldn't be just fucking. There's too much between us for that."

 _Author's Note: Surprise! I was able to get this chapter written much faster than I thought I would! There has been so much_ _anticipation_ _over Ana and Christian's first time I really hope I did it justice. To those who celebrate, I wish you a Merry Christmas! For those who celebrate other holidays, I wish you a very Happy Holiday Season. To all the readers who PMd me, I want to thank you! I love reading all of your reviews and PMs about this story and hearing your ideas! I'll be back next week but likely with only one or maybe two chapters before the next holiday._


	52. Chapter 52

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 52 APOV:**

"It's hard to believe that tonight we will be back in Seattle," I sigh looking out at the ocean one last time.

"I know," Christian wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him.

Our bags are all packed and the resort staff just left to take them to the plane for loading before we fly to the main land to board Christian's jet. This week was nothing like what I expected; things have changed so much between me and Christian. I try not to think about what all that will mean when our marriage ends in two years, especially after last night. It's hard to think about how we can go from that to just being friends. I'm tempted to ask Christian if he thinks what happened this week has changed our arrangement at all, but I'm kind of afraid to know the answer. I don't know if he just thinks of what is physically happening between us as an added perk to our arrangement or if he thinks of it as something beyond the arrangement.

When Christian first presented this new arrangement, I foolishly thought things between us wouldn't change. That we could maintain the friendship that we had begun to form while living together for the next two years. Neither of us were expecting what we had to move beyond that friendship which is exactly what happened while we were here this week. I force myself to not think about what will happen two years from now and instead try to concentrate on the present. In two years when this all ends if I have to walk away from Christian-

"Are you ready to head to the dock?" Christian thankfully pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yes," I take one last look at the ocean before turning around.

"We could come back you know," Christian pulls me against him. "Or we can go someplace different, anywhere you want."

I don't say anything because it's hard to think about the possibility of only having these two years with Christian. Instead, I reach up and kiss him, closing my eyes so he can't see the worry in them as I desperately try to clear my head. Once again, I force my mind to focus on the present; on how Christian's body feels pressed up against mine, how his lips feel against mine, how his hands feel as he rubs my back.

"If we don't stop we'll never get on the plane," Christian whispers in heavy breaths as he pulls away.

We meet Gail and Taylor at the dock and the four of us board the plane to head to the main island. Gail and I immediately start talking about all the different things we've done on the trip while the guys talk about business and security issues after boarding the jet.

"Everything okay?" I ask as Christian returns to the seat next to me after talking with Taylor.

"It seems the press has been camped out in front of Escala and GEH nearly all week; the police have had to remove several of them already."

"You said it would probably get a little crazier when we got back."

"I just wished they would leave me the fuck alone already. I don't understand why they're so fascinated with me."

"Like you said, right now they probably just want to get the first picture of you as a married man. Hopefully in a week or two things will die down."

"It better."

"I think I'm going to try to meet with Ginny this week," I try changing the subject hoping it will put Christian in a better mood.

"The press doesn't know that you own the bakery yet; my legal department was able to keep that information from the press although I suspect eventually someone will dig and figure it out."

"I'll probably meet with her once it closes for the day this way we won't have to worry about customers alerting anyone that I'm there."

"That's a good idea. You can also use space at GEH if you would rather meet there."

"I think it's best if we meet at the bakery so we can go over everything. But, if your offer still stands I'd like to meet with your financial guy to discuss the books. I really don't want to continue doing everything by hand."

"Of course, I'll have Andrea set something up later this week," he quickly types away on his phone without waiting for my response.

"There's so much I don't know about running a business; I hope I don't screw this up."

"I won't let you Ana. If you have questions, ask me. I won't give you advice if you don't ask, so if you have questions or if something doesn't look right you need to let me know. This is your bakery Ana, but I'm here for anything you need."

"Thank you Christian, I appreciate it. I'm just so worried about screwing something up. I mean I know all the recipes by heart, so that part doesn't worry me. But payroll, taxes, paying vendors…that's something I've never done."

"Ginny outsources her payroll to a local company. All you need to do is send them an excel file of how many hours each employee worked and they take care of the rest. They take out the necessary taxes and send them where they need to go. They mail out the check or deposit the money directly into the employee's bank account. Ginny pays all her vendors directly, but many of them have online bill paying options available which personally I prefer since you don't have to wait for checks to be cleared."

"How do you know all this?"

"I told you, I had to make sure the business was successful before buying it. Even though it wasn't going under GEH's umbrella, I still had to ensure that it wasn't going to fail. I wouldn't set you up like that."

"Thank you Christian. It's still so hard to believe that the bakery is really mine. There's so many things I always said I would change if given the chance, and now I finally have a chance to change things."

"What is the first thing you would change?"

"The website. Ginny just has a basic one that looks like a high school kid designed it. I want something modern but elegant looking. I want it to allow businesses to place orders online for meetings rather than having them call and risk the order being messed up."

"That's definitely a plus. I know Andrea would prefer to order our meals online when possible."

Christian and I spend the next couple of hours discussing business strategy; with some pushing he finally shares some of the things he would change if the bakery was under GEH's umbrella. By the time we finish talking I have begun to formulate a list of different things that I want to jump into after I meet with Ginny. The best part is that many of the things I want to do don't require me to be physically present at the bakery which will keep the press away from it. As much as I love interacting with the customers, I know at least for the foreseeable future that won't be possible. I don't want to risk losing customers because the press is hounding them the way they were when it was first revealed that I was "dating" Christian. Instead, I think I'll talk to Ginny about staffing and handle most of the business from her office or from Escala. Hopefully once things die down with the press I can get back in front of the counter but I know that might not be possible while I'm married to Christian.

"I've asked Taylor to look at the security of the building when we get back," Christian says. "I have no doubt that the system will need to be upgraded but Taylor will arrange to have people there when the bakery is closed. Additionally, you should probably consider completing background checks on any new employees."

"What about existing ones?"

"GEH already ran background checks on the current employees and while we were gone each of them were asked to sign an NDA."

"They were?"

"I asked Roz to work with Ginny on having everyone sign one. It's for your own protection Ana. The last thing you want is for an employee to talk to the press and start selling stories about you. People can get greedy when offered money; they might even start making shit up about you just to get more money. The NDA prevents them from doing that."

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that."

"It's standard with every company that GEH takes over and while we didn't purchase the bakery, it was necessary to protect you to have everyone sign the NDA."

"No that makes sense."

"Sawyer will remain assigned to you for security but Rennolds is on standby in case it is determined that you need two people with you."

"I'm sure-"

"With the press eager to get pictures, I don't want to risk anything."

"That makes sense."

Christian goes back to checking his email on his phone and looking at spreadsheets on the computer while I read a book that was packed in the overnight bag. Dinner is served on the plane, which tastes like something you would get from a restaurant rather than airline food. After dinner and wine, I go back to reading before exhaustion sets in.

"I think I'm going to take a nap before we land," I say.

"Actually I was just thinking the same thing," Christian yawns and closes his laptop.

Christian and I walk back into the bedroom of the plane; I can't help think how much has changed since we were in here only a week ago. It's hard to believe it's only been a week since we were on this plane, flying to Fiji. It was only a week ago that Christian reluctantly shared this bed with me, worried that he would hurt me during a nightmare. One week later, Christian is no longer worried about sleeping with me or hurting me during a nightmare. I still don't understand why, but he says I keep his nightmares away. I believe him too, since the only time he had a nightmare was when we slept apart while in Fiji. Neither of us have mentioned what will happen when we get back to Seattle, but I hope this part doesn't change. I really enjoy sleeping next to Christian; I don't know that I can go back to sleeping alone again.

"We have a few hours before the flight crew will notify us that we need to return to our seats to land," Christian slides into bed next to me and pulls the covers over us.

"I had a really nice time in Fiji Christian; thank you again for planning this trip," I kiss him gently on his lips intending it as a simple thank you kiss, however when his arms tighten around me and his tongue slides across my lips I know that he is thinking otherwise. My body softens around his as he holds me against him. A moan escapes me when I feel him hardening between us; Christian gently rubs himself against my sex letting me feel how much he wants me.

"I need you," he whispers against my lips.

"What about….?" I look at the closed door.

"They know better than to come in but besides the room is sound proof," he smirks.

"It is? Really?"

"When I had the jet redone I added sound proofing not only to let anyone in here sleep more comfortably but also so business could be conducted in privacy."

"Are you sure?" I can't help but feel nervous knowing Taylor and Gail are just on the other side of the door.

"Positive, but even if the room weren't sound proof trust me they wouldn't dare come in."

"Still…."

"Shhhh," Christian's mouth is against mine instantly preventing me from arguing with him further. He pushes my shirt up, I move back from him just enough to pull it over my head during which time he has managed to unhook my bra and pull it off of me. I groan the moment his lips find my nipple, he sucks hard on it, every soften making me moan by nipping at it with his teeth. With my focus on what his mouth is doing to me, I didn't realize that he somehow managed to get my shorts and panties down my legs. Suddenly I'm lying naked in the center of this large bed with a fully clothed gorgeous man leaning over me. I feel the heat rise to my face as I watch his eyes roam over my entire body.

"I'll never get tired of looking at you," he whispers before kissing me hard preventing me from responding.

Not wanting to be the only one undressed, I reach between us and unbutton his shorts. Christian groans against my lips when I push his shorts down to his knees and grasp his erection. He pulls away from me briefly, but thankfully only long enough to pull off his shirt and to grab a condom out of the pocket of his shorts. He quickly places it over his erection before lying between my legs.

"Ana…."

Christian's eyes ask the unspoken question something I really appreciate; he doesn't assume this is what I want, but instead he asks. I carefully reach between, not wanting to accidently touch his chest, and grasp his erection, placing it at my entrance as an answer to his question. I wrap my legs around his thighs and slowly push myself against him; he slowly slides into me. My muscles stretch to accommodate his large size but the discomfort is much less compared to our first time last night. My hands grasp Christian's arms, one of the few places I can safely touch him in this positon. Christian's eyes are on me as he wraps an arm under my waist and pushes himself even deeper into me.

"You feel….fuck Ana...you feel so fucking tight," he moans in my ear as he slowly begins to move against me.

He starts off slowly moving in and out of me, but quickly it changes; he thrusts harder and faster into me sending me closer and closer to the edge each time. His lips crush hard against mine, his tongue mimics his erection, plunging in and out of my mouth. He swallows my screams when I finally fall over the edge; he holds me against him slowly moving within me as he lets my body come down from the orgasm.

He kisses me one last time before slowly pulling out of me; I can't help the moan that escapes me at the sudden empty feeling. He sits back on his knees, with his hands on my hips he encourages me to roll over. Once I'm on my stomach, he lifts me to my knees before leaning over me. I can feel him against my sex, but rather than sinking back in, he teases me but rubbing himself through my folds. His fingers tease my nipple as he sucks on my neck.

"So good," he finally slowly slides into me.

"Christian," I gasp when his fingers slide down to my clit, applying the slightest pressure.

"Fuck Ana…" he hisses in my ear before his movements begin to increase.

His breathing is heavy against my skin and I can feel the heat coming from his body; I can tell he is holding back for me. Making love to Christian is so different than anything I've ever experienced. With _him,_ he didn't care if I was satisfied; the few times we tried to have sex it was all about him trying to find his own release. He never even tried to satisfy me. Yet with Christian, even before our first time together last night he always made sure I was satisfied. It's one of the things about him that I-

"Oh GOD!" Christian pinches my clit immediately causing me to erupt around him. My body trembles from the force of the orgasm; my arms give out, no longer able to hold up my body. Christian's hands move to my hips, holding me against him as he continues to move in and out of my body; harder and faster than before.

"Ana," Christian gasps before thrusting deeper into me at the same time that I push myself against him. His arms move up to my chest and he pulls me up against him; I'm sort of sitting on his lap while straddling his thighs. My arms go behind me, to around Christian's neck as his hands grasps my breasts. He groans the moment I start moving against him; the position is awkward and doesn't give me much room to move but judging by the sounds coming from Christian he seems to enjoying it anyway. My head drops to his shoulder when his fingers start teasing my clit again.

"Christian…." Within moments I find myself right back on the edge as need begins to completely take over as I move faster against Christian.

"Come with me baby," he whispers and thrusts himself deeply into me.

And I do…with his arm wrapped around me for support, we both come together once again. We collapse on the bed next to each other moments later both of us breathing heavy. Christian disposes of the condom before pulling the blankets over us and sliding his arm under my pillow. I take his hand and roll over so my back is against his chest. I place his hand around my waist, before I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, it's time to return to your seats for landing," Taylor's voice pulls me from my deep sleep what feels like only minutes later.

"We'll be out in a minute," Christian groans.

"I feel like I barely slept," I sit up, stretching and then immediately blush when I realize the blanket is no longer on me and I'm sitting here naked.

"Me too."

Christian gets out of bed first, quickly finding my clothes before getting himself dressed. I throw my messy hair into a ponytail before following Christian out to the main room. Gail is sleeping in a reclined chair while Taylor is sitting next to her.

"Sawyer is at the airport?" Christian asks.

"Yes, he will meet us at customs; Rennolds is remaining with the car," he confirms.

"Good; any concerns about the press?"

"Not yet. It's late so there are only a couple outside of Escala right now. I expect once someone spots the SUV pulling into the garage that will change though. But at least by then we will be in Escala so it won't be an issue until we need to leave."

"Right."

A short time later we land back in Seattle and are thankfully rushed through customs; I guess arriving on a private jet means you don't have to wait in lines with everyone else. As expected, Sawyer is waiting outside of customs for us and quickly escorts us to the SUV where Rennolds is waiting for us. Thankfully there is no sign of the press at the airport; I kind of half expected them to suddenly appear after all the talk on the way here between Christian and Taylor. As we approach Escala though, I see several people standing outside including one holding a camera. They immediately rush towards the garage entrance when they notice us pulling in. Thankfully Rennolds is able to quickly swipe the access card to get us into the parking garage before press can reach out car. Christian lets out a sigh of relief as soon as we enter the garage knowing that at least for now they can't get to us.

"Gail, Taylor, I don't expect to need either of us tomorrow. Please take the day to yourselves," Christian says as we get off the elevator.

"Are you sure Mr. Grey? I'd be more than happy to prepare something-"

"We'll be fine Gail, take the day. I'll see you Monday morning."

"If your schedule changes, sir-"

"I'll notify you Taylor."

Christian takes my hand and leads me through the apartment to his bedroom; he closes the door behind us and leads me to his bed. Without saying a word, he simply pulls back the covers so we both can get into bed. I kick off my shoes before sliding into bed; I take a deep breath loving how the bed smells exactly like Christian. He turns off of the light before slipping into bed next to me, pulling me closer to him.

"Good night Ana."

 _Author's Note: I don't think I will be able to get another chapter posted this week due to the holiday so I apologize in advance that you will need to go another several days without me! LOL I hope you enjoyed Christian and Ana's honeymoon; now that they have returned to Seattle we will need to wait and see how reality intrudes on their new found happiness._


	53. Chapter 53

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and your new year is off to a positive start! I have to admit I struggled with this chapter, I have so many ideas as to where I want to go next with our couple! It's hard not to jump right to where my mind is!_

 **Chpt. 53 APOV:**

I wake up to an empty bed; Christian's side of the bed is cool indicating that he has been up for awhile now. A quick glance at the clock next to his bed confirms why, it's well after eleven in the morning which is the latest I think I've ever slept. I quickly get out of bed and wash up in Christian's bathroom. I'm tempted to take a shower, but I don't, instead opting to wash my face and brush my teeth. Wanting to get out of the clothes I've been wearing for more than 24 straight hours, I head into Christian's closet where I find a Harvard T-shirt and a pair of his boxer briefs to throw on. Not the most attractive outfits, but it will have to do until I go upstairs to my clothes. Walking out of the bedroom, I realize the apartment is silent…like so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. For a brief moment I consider that perhaps Christian has gone somewhere, but when I reach the kitchen I find him…cursing at the stove as he tosses a pan into the sink.

"Everything okay?" I ask, desperately trying to hold back the laugh.

"Stupid fucking stove!" He points to the offending stove.

"What's wrong with it?"

"It either burns something or doesn't cook it at all! It must have fucking broke when we were gone."

"What are you trying to cook?"

"Eggs."

"Why don't you let me try and see if I can get it to work?"

"Don't bother, I'll get Taylor to order another one. Clearly this one is a piece of shit!"

"Let's at least see if I can get us some breakfast made since Taylor and Gail are off today."

"FUCK I forgot."

"Do you have any vegetables? I can make an omelet quick if you want."

"I'm sure there's some probably something in here. I think Gail was supposed to have groceries delivered before we came home," he pokes his head in the fridge while I try to find a pan that doesn't have burnt eggs on it. I manage to find two clean frying pans just as Christian is putting a bunch of vegetables on the island. He looks from them to me obviously not having any idea what to do next.

"You don't cook much do you?"

"Not if I can help it," he chuckles. "Gail always leaves frozen meals for me to eat on the weekends; usually I skip breakfast or just have a bowl of cereal. Obviously I should stick to that rather than trying to cook."

"Can you chop up those vegetables? I'll start getting the pans hot-"

"Not sure why you're bothering, I told you the stove is a piece of shit!"

"I'll tell you what, if the omelets turn out burnt than I will buy us breakfast somewhere."

"Not that I will let you pay, but you have a deal."

I shake my head at his idea that I can't buy him breakfast; it's one of the things I struggle with the most in our new arrangement. I don't like spending someone else's money, it makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of them and that I'm relying on them. I'd rather spend my own money and not be indebted to anyone by spending their money. You owe people when you spend their money; if I spend my own money I owe no one.

"Is this enough?" Thankfully Christian pulls my attention back to the present.

"Yup perfect," I take the bowl of vegetables from him and put them into the sauté pan that is on the stove. "Have you been awake long?"

"A couple of hours; I was trying to read through the hundreds of emails that came through while we were away last week."

"Hundreds?"

"My inbox indicated I had more than five hundred new emails," he shrugs. "It'll take me a few hours to read through all of them, although Andrea has already gone through and flagged any that she believes I should read first."

"Guess I know how you'll be spending your day," I giggle.

"I need to get through them today because I have a pretty busy week ahead of me. Oh, Andrea set up a meeting for you Tuesday morning with the Director of our Finance department. Will that work for you?"

"I'm sure it will be fine. I don't have anything really going on this week. I'm going to try to meet with Ginny tomorrow afternoon, but otherwise I think the week is open."

"If you are free, I have a business dinner Friday night that I was hoping you could attend with me," he asks hesitantly.

"Sure that's fine."

We fall into an awkward silence; we seem to be in some sort of a limbo between our new arrangement where I help him change in his image in the press and our new….whatever we have going on between us since Fiji. Our arrangement has always been for me to accompany him to certain events and with our "marriage" it's even more important now than it was before that I am seen with him. I think we are both are a little unsure how to proceed with whatever this new thing is that has happened between us.

"The omelets are done," I place a plate in front of Christian essentially ending the weirdness between us.

"Wow…how did you fix the stove?"

"I didn't," I giggle. "There was nothing wrong with the stove itself…I think it was user error."

"What….oh…."

And like that things are back to normal between us; we sit side by side at the island eating our vegetable omelets. Christian gives me a rundown of his schedule for the week which sounds absolutely crazy to me but I can tell by how he talks that he is actually looking forward to getting back to work this week. Although I know Christian had fun this past week when we were away, I can tell how much he missed being at GEH. I hadn't realized how much he gave up to plan the wedding and honeymoon for me. He could have easily spent the entire week working from Fiji, but instead he barely spent more than a couple of hours on his computer or checking email on his phone.

"Thank you for breakfast Ana," he pulls me off of my stool so I'm standing between his legs. His hands are on my hips and he is looking up at me; he doesn't move to do anything more but his eyes are full of questions. I'm kind of relieved to see those questions in his eyes; I was concerned I was the only one unsure of where things are between us. I think we are both wondering if what happened in Fiji will continue now that we're back in Seattle or if things would change between us now that we're back. The thing is though, the more I think about how things were between us before the wedding, the more I realize that what happened in Fiji likely would have happened in Seattle. The attraction between us has been there for awhile and had only increased after I moved into Christian's apartment.

I gasp when Christian suddenly stands and pulls me firmly against him, his lips crushing against mine. His tongue immediately enters my mouth; I moan when his hands slip up the back of my shirt. He groans in return when I cautiously run my hand over his ass, loving the way it feels and how he flexes his hips against me when I grip him. He lifts my shirt above my head, quickly tossing it on the floor as he begins to walk me back down the hallway. By the time we reach Christian's bedroom, I am no longer wearing any clothes and Christian is standing before me only in a t shirt. The only thing that stopped me from taking his shirt of was out of concern that I wouldn't be able to not touch him when I yanked it off of him. Before the door even closes, his shirt is on the floor and he is leading me to the bed.

"I need to taste you," he whispers in my ear as his fingers tease my sex. My face heats up at his words; I don't know that I will ever get used to how blunt Christian is in the bedroom.

Christian moves onto the bed, lying on his back and I follow him but before I can lay down he grasps my hips me and moves me so I'm kneeling next to his head. He takes my one leg and gently places it over his shoulder twisting my entire body in the process. Before I can even think he lifts his head and lazily runs his tongue along my slit causing me to moan loudly. His hands on my hips guide me down, so I'm straddling him as he continues to explore me with his mouth. Leaning forward, I slowly bring my hands down, placing them alongside of Christian's body not wanting to risk touching his chest. He groans and pulls me against him when I grasp his erection and bring it to my lips. Within seconds we are both moaning and groaning loudly as we try to focus on the other person-

"Fuck Ana…you taste so fucking good!"

Christian's fingers are in me, his mouth is on me and I can feel myself falling apart against him. I've never felt like this with anyone other than Christian; I was never able to orgasm with-

"Hmmmmmmm!" The force and intensity of the orgasm surprises me; I'm completely unprepared for it. Christian holds my ass firm against him as my body shakes and bucks against him, the orgasm never seeming to end. When it does finally end, Christian manages to move my body around as if I'm a limp rag doll, so that now we're facing each other. He brings me against him, my leg is on his hip as he erection slides against my still throbbing sex.

"I want you," he whispers against my lips.

"I want you too."

"I need to get a condom from our bag….I didn't….there are none in here," he kisses me before slipping from the bed to go into his bag which was placed in his closet. I think about what he said, or rather what he didn't say.

"Found them, " he opens the drawer on his nightstand and tosses the box of condoms in there, keeping one out before climbing back onto the bed.

"You didn't have any in here because…" I ask unsure if I really want to know the answer. Are they not in here because he took them out before I moved in or-

"I've never….you're the first woman to ever come in here Ana. Other than my mother, Mia and Gail, no other woman has ever been in this room Ana. I've never…."

I silence him by kissing him; his answer was nothing I had expected but for some strange reason it makes me smile to know that he hadn't _fucked_ other women in here. Christian obviously has a lot more experience than I do so I wouldn't have been surprised if he had said that the reason there were no condoms in this room was because he got rid of them before I moved in after I asked him to have the affair clause removed from the prenup agreement we both signed. I like that he sees that things are different between us; I could never do sex without an emotional attachment.

"God Ana," he moans as he slides completely into me. "You feel so fucking amazing."

He thrusts into me a few times, before slipping his hand under my back and turning us over while never losing our connection. I lay on his chest for a moment, loving how I can feel his heart beating just below mine. I kiss him before sitting up, groaning when he slips even deeper into me. I start moving against him, but the position is awkward without being able to put my hands on his chest.

"Put your hands behind you, on my legs," he suggests obviously sensing my struggling.

I reach behind me and hold onto his thighs like he suggested which immediately gives me the support I was looking for. Christian's hands are on my hips, urging me to move faster as I feel his body tense below me. I move against him, harder and faster only vaguely thinking that he is likely watching me because in this position I'm fully exposed to him.

"Christian!" I gasp when his fingers suddenly find my clit.

"Come with me baby….I want you to come with me."

And once again I do; when he thrusts hard into me as I come down hard on him, I call out his name just as he calls out mine. He leans up, wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me down so I'm lying on his chest. Even in my exhausted physical state, I'm mindful of where my hands are, not wanting to jeopardize the incredible trust he has in me. It's funny, after he told me he was only ever with woman who's hands he bound I didn't think we would ever be able to be like this, yet here we are.

"Take a shower with me?" Christian whispers.

"Sure," I kiss him before slowly sliding off of him.

From the outside Christian's shower looks huge, but once you have two people in there it's actually pretty cozy. There are two overhead rain showerheads which make you feel like you're standing in the middle of a warm rain shower. There's just enough room for us to be in here but not too much room like when we were in Fiji. I actually prefer Christian's shower over that one because I can be closer to him.

After the shower, Christian gives me another outfit to wear rather than letting me go upstairs and pick out my own clothes. Obviously at some point I will need to go up there since I can't wear Christian's clothes forever, but I don't think either of us are in any hurry. The rest of the day is relaxing for me, I curl up on the big chair that has recently been added to the library while Christian continues to read through the hundreds of emails he received while we were away. Although Christian ensures me it isn't necessary, I cook us dinner rather than heating up something Gail had previously prepared. After spending the last week not cooking, I felt an incredible need to cook something rather than simply heating something up. I hadn't realized how much I missed cooking until I was making the omelets this morning.

 _Author's Note 2: I know it's much shorter than normal but like I said I was struggling with this chapter. The next couple chapters should be easier for me since our new couple will be back in reality. I wanted to give them to have one last day of their honeymoon before reality interfered._


	54. Chapter 54

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 54 APOV:**

I wake up to the sound of the shower running; a quick glance next to me confirms that Christian is no longer in bed with me. Last night after Christian finished working we watched a little television together before heading to bed. I thought there would be a question as to where I would sleep and I was inwardly preparing to head upstairs, but once again Christian took my hand and led me to his bedroom. Since Christian is in the shower, I quickly head upstairs to my bedroom to use the bathroom and change into something more appropriate since all I slept in was another one of Christian's t-shirts.

"You scared me!" I exclaim when I see Christian standing in my bedroom when I open the bathroom door.

"I woke up and you weren't in bed," he runs his hands through his hair which I've noticed is a nervous habit for him. But I'm not sure why he would be nervous that I wasn't in bed…

"You were in the bathroom and I figured I should change into something less revealing before Gail or Taylor saw me."

"Maybe we should move some of your clothes to the closet in my room so you don't have to worry about that," Christian is looking everywhere but at me when he makes the suggestion.

"Maybe we should," I whisper.

When his eyes finally find mine I see both relief and nervousness in them, but I have no doubt that mine are also reflecting the same thing. This is the first time that we're sort of discussing our sleeping arrangements since Fiji. I'm definitely relieved to hear Christian suggest that we make our sleeping arrangements permanent but at the same time I'm also nervous although I'm not entirely sure why. I get why Christian would be nervous; he's never shared a bed with a woman let alone shared a bedroom with one.

"I came looking for you to let you know that breakfast is ready if you wanted to eat," Christian says.

Christian takes my hand and pulls me close to him before leaning down and kissing me gently on the lips. He then leads me downstairs to the kitchen where we have breakfast together.

"You're meeting with Ginny today right?" he asks.

"Yes, this afternoon once the bakery is closed."

"Be sure to take Sawyer with you."

"I already texted him the details," I smirk at Christian which just causes him to chuckle. I don't know why he feels the need to remind me to have Sawyer with me when I leave Escala. Sawyer's been assigned to me ever since I moved into the building and I've never once dared to leave without him. Although I don't think I necessarily need the security, it's comforting to know that he would be there to assist with the press if they get out of hand.

"I'll probably be home late tonight, actually probably most of the week. Unfortunately some of my meetings had to be rescheduled this week and evenings were the only time they could be fit into my schedule. Gail should have dinner ready around six but if you want to eat earlier just let her know. And Sawyer is available to you at any time if you need something. If you can't get ahold of him-"

"Christian, I'll be fine," I interrupt to assure him. "You don't need to worry about me."

"Mr. Grey," Taylor appears at the doorway to the kitchen.

"Call or text me if you need anything," he leans down capturing my lips in his, kissing me just enough to leave me breathless and wanting more before he pulls away. "I'll see you tonight."

I place our dishes in the sink before heading up to the bedroom, grab my laptop and head into the library. I bring a table next to the chair, setting it up as a mini work station with my laptop and cell phone. I spend the next couple of hours researching everything I can about running a bakery. Meeting with Ginny this afternoon will be very helpful, but I don't want to rely entirely on how she ran the bakery. I start making a list of the things I'd like to change and what I want to keep the same; one thing that will definitely not be changing is any of the recipes. People come to the bakery for the food and Ginny's recipes speak for themselves.

 _Lunch today? –Mia_

 _Would love to. I have a meeting at 3 –Ana_

 _How about Main Street Bistro at 1? –Mia_

 _Sounds good, see you then! –Ana_

I send a quick text to Sawyer letting him know there has been a change in plans for today; his confirmation reply is almost instantaneous. I go back to researching the running a bakery and just running a business in general, trying to learn as much as I possibly can from the internet so that I somehow don't manage to run the bakery into the ground when Ginny leaves in less than a year.

"Mrs. Grey, Sawyer has arrived," Gail alerts me.

"Oh! I hadn't realized what time it was. Thank you!" I quickly shut down the laptop and run to the bedroom to put on a pair of shoes before meeting Sawyer in the foyer.

"Mrs. Grey," Sawyer nods in greeting.

"I'm Mrs. Grey now? What happened to Ana?" I ask.

"I thought now that you…" he nervously responds.

"I'm still Ana, Sawyer. Getting married hasn't changed that," I assure him.

"Yes ma'am. Are you ready to leave to meet Ms. Grey Ana?"

"I'm ready Sawyer," I smile thankful that the momentarily awkwardness is over.

"I expect the press will likely follow us to the bistro however once you are inside they should leave you alone," he warns.

"Right," I had forgotten about the press when Mia asked me to lunch but I refuse to hide out in Escala all day simply because the press might take pictures of me. I'm dressed casual today, just in jeans and a long sleeve blouse, but I think I look okay if I end up being photographed. In the car, I quickly touch up my make up knowing that this will be the first time that I'm being photographed as Mrs. Grey and not just Christian's girlfriend or date.

"They followed us here," Sawyer alerts me. "Rennolds is already inside and has confirmed that Ms. Grey arrived a few minutes ago. I'll get you to the door and he will take you inside, keeping you safe there. I will be with the vehicle and will meet you at the front door when you're ready to leave."

"I'm sorry Sawyer, I had no idea all this would be involved just to go to lunch."

"It's not a problem Mrs. – Ana. Don't let them stop you from living your life. They'll eventually get bored when they realize there isn't much of a story here."

"Thank you Sawyer."

I quickly put everything away in my purse; the moment I step out of the SUV cameras are going off as three different people seem to be waiting for me outside the bistro. Sawyer has a hand on my back and one in front of us leading me through the small crowd which is quickly gathering on the side walk. I'm sure innocent bystanders are wondering what is going on; likely thinking I'm someone famous or something.

"Mrs. Grey! Mrs. Grey!"

My name is called repeatedly but I just keep walking with Sawyer, ignoring everyone.

"What do you say to the rumors that Mr. Grey only married you because you're pregnant?"

"I can assure you that Mr. Grey and I did not marry because I was pregnant," I say firmly.

"What is it like to be married to Seattle's richest playboy?"

"I wouldn't know," I snap. "I'm not married to a playboy. I'm married to a wonderful, faithful, kind man who makes me happier than I've ever been. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm meeting someone for lunch."

Sawyer doesn't say anything but smiles before handing me off to Rennolds who is waiting at the front door for me. I'm immediately relieved when the door closes behind me even though the cameras continue to flash behind me as we walk through the restaurant. I realize that Sawyer likely called ahead to arrange for me to meet Mia here as I'm lead to a small table in the back of the bistro which is barely visible from the sidewalk.

"Ana!" Mia immediately jumps up and hugs me when I reach the table.

"Mia, thank you for inviting me to lunch!"

"I'm glad you were able to come! Tell me about your honeymoon! Was it everything you imagined? What was Fiji like?"

For the next hour or so I tell Mia about Turtle Island and the different activities that the resort offered. I can't help blushing when I recall our honeymoon; everything changed between me and Christian that week. We became closer, not just on a physical level….I think we learned more about each other on that trip than we would have had we only been in Seattle.

"I'm so glad Christian decided to take you on a proper honeymoon; I half expected him just to take a day off of work and head right back into the office after the wedding."

"No, thankfully he didn't."

"We always tried to get him to take a vacation but he never would. I'm really happy that you were able to get him to take one-"

"It was all him. Really I didn't plan anything-"

"True, but you're the reason he took the vacation in the first place. If it weren't for you he never would have taken one."

"I suppose you're right."

"So what are you up to today? You said you had a meeting or something?"

"I'm meeting with Ginny at Sweet Dreams-"

"Please tell me she didn't sell it to one of those big coffee chains…"

"You don't know?" I guess I just assumed Christian's family would have known about the wedding gift he gave me.

"Know what?"

"Christian bought the bakery."

"He did what? You're kidding? What is Christian going to do with a bakery? He can't cook to save his life!"

"He gave it to me…he bought it for me I guess you could say. It was his wedding present to me."

"Oh my God! That's so sweet! I can't believe he didn't tell anyone!"

"I assumed you all knew. He gave me the deed to it on the way to Fiji."

"Wow…that's so cool Ana! I'm so glad one of those big companies didn't buy it out. I could never go there if they changed it into a donut or coffee place."

"I know! I thought the same thing when I first heard Ginny was selling the place."

"How are you going to run it? Oh! I didn't mean it like that-"

"It's fine Mia," I giggle. "I know exactly what you mean. Right now, I can't even go out to lunch without the press bothering me. Ginny is staying on board for a year and will then consult remotely for a couple more years. I'm going to meet with Ginny today but eventually I figure I'll hire a manager to oversee the day to day operations and I will work behind the scenes. As much as I loved interacting with customers, I don't think I'll be able to do that at least not until the press dies down. But, I can oversee things from Ginny's office at the bakery and the rest from Escala."

"That's awesome Ana! If you need any help, let me know. I worked at a bakery in Paris for almost a year-"

"You did? In Paris?"

Wow….talk about being from different worlds.

"I graduated from a culinary school in Paris and worked at a bakery during my last year of schooling."

"Why didn't you continue working when you came home?"

"I tried," she sighs and looks out the window. "The only real places that were hiring were chain restaurants which was not something I wanted to do. I prefer the feeling of a mom and pop owned business, somewhere small where you have a chance to interact with customers. The bakery I worked at in Paris was perfect; I just wished I could move it here. Eventually I gave up looking and figured I needed to find something else to at least until something better came along."

"What did you do at the bakery in Paris?" the wheels are turning in my head processing what Mia has told me.

"Prepping, baking, customer service, you name it," she shrugged.

"I'll be reviewing staffing with Ginny today, but if you're interested and there's an opening-"

"Really Ana? You would hire me? Oh Sweet Dreams is the perfect place I've always wanted to work!"

"I don't know how many hours it would be, but we could always use someone when we're understaffed."

"I'd love that! OH THANK YOU ANA!" She runs around the table and hugs me so tightly that I can barely breathe.

"Don't thank me yet. You may not be so happy when you have to get up at four in the morning to head to work."

"I opened the bakery in Paris four days a week, I was used to getting up early. It'll take me a little while to get back in the habit of waking up early again but I swear it won't be a problem. I'm so excited Ana! You have no idea!"

Mia's reaction was nothing what I would have expected; I figured after working at a bakery in Paris that working at Sweet Dreams would be something she wasn't interested in. I can't wait to see how Mia works out for the bakery, I think the customers will absolutely love her personality. She's a definite people person and I love knowing that I can trust her. Even though Christian said the other employees at Sweet Dreams signed an NDA I can't help but worry that they could say something to press.

"I have to get going, but thank you again for inviting me to lunch Mia."

"No, thank you Ana. I've always wanted a sister and now I have one!" she hugs me and I have to fight to hold back the tears forming. I always wanted a sister growing up; someone to talk to, someone to be there next to me when the shit hit the fan and someone who-

"Will you be coming to dinner on Sunday?" she asks pulling back from me.

"I'm not sure…I'll have to check with Christian."

"I hope so! I'll let you get to your meeting with Ginny; let me know if you guys can make it on Sunday."

"Thanks again Mia."

"Mrs. Grey," Rennolds is at my side before I get close to the front door.

"They still out there?" I ask.

"Yes, they haven't left ma'am. Sawyer is waiting to take you to your next destination."

"Thank you."

Once again cameras are flashing around me and people are calling my name as soon as the door opens, but this time I don't respond. The questions are all the same and I just remind myself that everyone is eager to get pictures of the woman who married _the_ Christian Grey. Thankfully, Sawyer manages to lose the reporters that tried to follow us from the bistro before we reach the bakery. Sawyer apparently called ahead and arranged with Ginny for us to enter the bakery through the back door.

"Ana, it's so wonderful to see you again!" Ginny greets me with a hug as soon as the door closes behind us.

"It's so good to see you again Ginny," I hadn't realized how much I missed seeing Ginny until this moment. She had been an almost daily fixture in my life for more than two years before the press forced me to stop working here. She was the first person in Seattle who took a chance on me; I had no experience, no ties to the city, nothing….but Ginny was still willing to offer me a job and slowly moved me from cashier to bakery.

"I hear a congratulations are in order Mrs. Grey," she winks at me.

"Thank you, although I'm still not used to being called Mrs. Grey."

"I bet."

"Thank you for doing all of this-"

"Nonsense Ana. If I had to choose someone to hand over the bakery to, you would have been my only choice Ana. You love this place almost as much as I do. I'm glad that new husband of yours made this possible. You'll do an amazing job with this place; you'll find ways to improve things that I never thought of or was too stubborn to do. You'll be great Ana."

"I'm so nervous Ginny. I don't know anything about running a business. I know these recipes in and out; hell I can make any of the muffins by heart now, but I know nothing about bookkeeping and-"

"Do you think I knew any of that stuff when I started this place twenty five years ago? Of course not! I was a stupid, naïve young girl who had no idea what she was doing."

"You obviously knew something to turn this place into what it is today."

"I was determined not to fail; I learned everything I could. Back then they didn't have the internet so I did things the old fashioned way. I talked to people who owned businesses and I spent hours at the library reading everything I possibly could about running a business. I'm not going to lie, Ana, I made mistakes, a few big ones, but I always learned from my mistakes. I learned not to repeat those mistakes again and eventually I figured out what worked. You'll do the same thing. Don't go into this new adventure thinking you won't make any mistakes, because you're only going to set yourself up for failure. You'll make a mistake and then you'll learn from it and never make the same mistake again. And I'll be here for any questions you might have along the way."

"Thank you for agreeing to stay on for a year Ginny, I know you wanted to move to be closer to your daughter-"

"And I will. I never expected this place to sale as fast as it did; I knew it would likely be a couple of years before I was able to sale this place and move. With this new plan, I'll be able to fly out and see my daughter much more often than I could do while waiting for this place to sale. I was never able to take more than a couple of days off to spend with my daughter because I couldn't afford to close the bakery for any longer than a day or two over a weekend. But with you here now, once you are confident, I'll be able to go for a week or maybe even longer without worrying."

"Oh, let's not think about you leaving just yet," I joke.

"You'll be fine Ana. You already know how this place works; you've opened and closed this place already. The only thing you don't know is the paperwork and ordering processes. Mark my words, in a couple of weeks you will know that stuff in and out as well."

"I hope so."

"Come, I have everything set up on one of the tables for us to look at."

I spend the next couple of hours with Ginny, reviewing everything from paperwork to vendors. I take notes about as many different things as I possibly can but it's very overwhelming to keeping track of everything she says. Armed with several folders of paperwork that Ginny had already copied for me, I leave the bakery with Sawyer to head back to Escala. There was definitely more to running the bakery than I initially imagined when I thought I would want to open one on my own, but I'm also motivated after speaking with Ginny. It was good to hear how she started the business on her own knowing about as much as I do about running a business. Seeing how successful she made the bakery gave me just a little hope that I could do the same on my own. I'm really glad that Christian thought ahead and worked out a plan with Ginny to have her stay on with Sweet Dreams for the next three years. I don't know what I would have done if she were leaving as soon as I returned to Seattle from our honeymoon.

"There you are," Christian greets me as soon as I walk into the foyer.

"I wasn't expecting you home so early," I kiss him as soon as he comes close enough to me.

"My last meeting is via conference call so I figured I would do the call from here. How was your meeting with Ginny?"

"It was good, she gave me a ton of information and copies of a bunch of stuff to. I think I'll just put this stuff in my – in the bedroom upstairs."

"I'll have Taylor put a desk in the library for you to use in the next few days."

"You don't need to-"

"It'll give you a place to work when you can't be at the bakery. Somewhere you can keep paperwork, notes or whatever that you don't want to keep in the office at the bakery."

"I suppose that would be a good idea."

"I'll have Taylor take care of it tomorrow; he should be able to arrange something to be delivered by Friday."

"Thank you Christian."

"Gail is going to have dinner on the table in a few minutes. I have about thirty minutes before my conference call starts; I thought we could eat dinner together…"

"Let me put these upstairs and I'll be right down."

Minutes later, Christian and I are in the dining room and Gail has placed plates of a delicious smelling chicken meal in front of us.

"How was your day?" I ask.

"Busy, but not nearly as hectic as I imagined it would be."

"Oh, that's good."

"Roz was able to handle most of the issues that came up while we were in Fiji so there weren't too many pressing issues that I had to deal with today. We have a couple acquisitions that we are in the process of deciding on whether or not we should move forward with so things may get a little crazy in the next few weeks."

"At least your first day back wasn't too hectic."

"Not nearly as bad as I had expected. Although, I understand you a had a little excitement of your own today."

"I did?"

"According to my PR team, you were photographed today on your way to lunch-"

"Oh! With everything Ginny told me I nearly forgot about lunch. We were followed to lunch by some reporters but thankfully Sawyer managed to lose them on the way to Sweet Dreams. Mia texted me and invited me to lunch today; I hadn't expected the press to be so crazy about me leaving Escala."

"They followed me to work today too; but once they realized I was alone and didn't give them anything I guess they returned here."

"Eventually they'll grow bored."

"I'll be in my office for the conference, but if you need something just come in," he stands up from the table but pauses just as he reaches the entryway to the dining room. "And Ana….Thank you for what you said today…I….I really appreciate it."


	55. Chapter 55

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 55 CPOV**

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Murphy is here to see you," Andrea alerts me.

"Send her in," I request.

Moments later, Ms. Murphy from my PR department enters my office and takes a seat in the chair across from my desk.

"What can I do for you Ms. Murphy?" I ask impatiently. She requested a meeting this morning and Andrea managed to squeeze her in, leaving me no time to prepare before my next meeting.

"I think it would be beneficial for us to schedule a meeting with Mrs. Grey-"

"Excuse me?"

"Well…you see Mr. Grey…."

"Spit it out. Exactly why do you feel the need to speak to me wife?"

"We think it would benefit her to meet with someone from our team to review proper protocols for responding to the press-"

"I read her statement yesterday; she didn't do a damn thing wrong!" Now I'm getting pissed; Ana's response to the reporters was nothing that I would have expected but it was still a perfect response.

" _This_ time she didn't. However, we would have preferred her to say-"

"No comment, right? You're saying my _wife_ should have said no comment when reporters insinuated that I married her because she was pregnant? Or she should have said no comment when they insulted both of us by asking her what it was like to be married to a playboy?"

"We have found it to be best not to respond to the press unless absolutely necessary."

"Yes, I know your stance and look where it has gotten us! Unless my wife begins to respond to the press inappropriately or there is a specific issue that requires us to handle things differently, I will not allow her to be coached by your team in her responses! Have you even bothered to read any of the comments on the stories that where my wife was quoted yesterday?"

"Of course sir-"

"Yet you're sitting here thinking you need to fix my wife? The comments on those articles praised Ana for standing up to reporters and defending her husband. Exactly why do you feel the need fix this? Do you really think it would have done anything to squash the rumors about me had she said no comment?"

"Mr. Grey, with all due respect, your wife has had no experience in dealing with the press. This is the first time she has had to deal with them-"

"No it is not. She has been dealing with the press since our love life became a public issue. And before you say anything else, this is not the first time she has come face to face with the press while out on her own."

"Yes, but this is the first time she has chosen to respond to the press. Doing so without guidance could have caused more trouble-"

"I'm sorry, I thought we already covered the fact that my wife didn't do anything wrong? You would have preferred her to say no comment, which would have looked as if she wasn't defending her husband or didn't care about how her husband's image. Is that what you're telling me?"

"Yes….no….er-"

"You've just proven what I've suspected for several months now. You don't have a fucking clue how to do your job," I press the intercom button, "Andrea get me security."

"Yes Mr. Grey."

"Ms. Murphy, security will escort you back to your office, you have fifteen minutes to clear your office and leave GEH-"

"Sir?"

"Your fired Ms. Murphy."

"But-"

"Mr. Grey?" Taylor opens the door.

"Taylor, please have Welch take Ms. Murphy back to her office and see that he escorts her from the building, collecting all GEH property before she leaves."

"Of course sir."

"Mr. Grey?" Andrea interrupts me just as I'm sitting back down.

"What?" I can't help but snap. I know it's not Andrea's fault but I'm so frustrated with Ms. Murphy's behavior that I can't control my anger.

"Your twelve o'clock is here," she says.

"Send them in," I run my hands through my hair in frustration. I've had no time to prepare for my next meeting, which I despise and Andrea knows that. She always leaves me at least ten minutes to review materials before certain meetings, this next one being one of them. Yet thanks to Ms. Murphy's stupidity I have had no time to review my notes on the potential acquisition that Roz wanted to meet about. I'm busy skimming my notes in the file on this company trying to get up to speed with the company so I don't waste Roz's time today. I don't look up when I hear her shut the door and sit down in the chair across from my desk. It's only when she doesn't say anything for several minutes which is very unlike Roz. Normally she barrels into my office talking a mile a minute without giving me a chance to catch up.

"Ana?" I can't hide my surprise when I look up to find the last person I expected sitting across from me.

"I brought you lunch," she lifts a bag from the floor which is only when I realize that my office smells absolutely delicious from whatever she brought.

"Fuck, I wish I could sit with you but I'm expecting Roz-"

"Actually you're not. Andrea just put it in your schedule to hold the spot-"

"She did? You-"

"When I mentioned to Sawyer this morning that I wanted to come earlier than my meeting today to have lunch with you, he contacted Taylor who worked with Andrea to get me a spot on your schedule. It sounded like you had a…busy morning so if you have other things that you would rather-"

"No! You just surprised me, that's all. I'd love to have lunch with you," I walk around my desk and grab her hand pulling her close to me, kissing her soft lips.

"You were gone when I woke up this morning," she says.

"I had a really early meeting this morning; I didn't want to wake you," although it was incredibly tempting to do so. I woke up this morning with my arms wrapped around Ana's warm body; she had gone to bed before me last night as my conference call ran much later than I expected. When it finally finished, I found Ana sound asleep in my bed wearing another one of my t shirts. The moment I slid into bed, I reached for her and her body immediately melted into mine. When my alarm went off this morning we were still in the same position as we had been when I came to bed, only the t shirt she was wearing had slid up revealing the thong she was wearing underneath the shirt. I was so tempted to wake her up by sliding deep into her but I knew that I didn't have to the time to do that. The meeting I had this morning was important and not something I could be late for. So instead of spending the morning buried deep inside of her, I came into the office to review spreadsheets before my call this morning.

I wasn't expecting to see Ana until later tonight, much later since unlike yesterday my last meeting today is in person at GEH so I can't leave and finish the day from my home office. But to my surprise, Ana is standing in front of me looking absolutely incredible. She's wearing a simple dark grey dress with a matching blazer; she looks as if she works here rather than is here as a visitor. Somehow no matter what Ana is wearing she always manages to look incredibly sexy.

"I made grilled chicken sandwiches for lunch," she gestures to the bag still sitting on the floor.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you. We can eat at the table over there."

When we sit down to start eating I can't help remembering the last time Ana was in my office, which was also the last time she brought me food.

"What's so funny?" she asks.

"You realize you've been in my office twice now and both times you've brought food with you?"

"I guess you're right. I hadn't realized that."

Things were so different the last time she was here; she had brought muffins and cookies in the day after her apartment had been broken into. We only had a few minutes in between meetings to spend together, but I remember being just as surprised then as I was today when Ana showed up unexpectedly. That day was also the first time Ana and I were truly alone with each other; it's hard to believe how much has changed since that day, how much our arrangement has changed.

"How was your morning?" I ask her.

"Good. I had breakfast with Gail and then spent some more time going through everything that Ginny had given me yesterday. I'm using your laptop much more than I had expected I would-"

"Your laptop," I correct her.

" _Your_ laptop," she argues. "I'm only borrowing it, just like the phone."

"They're yours Ana-"

"They're on loan to me," she interrupts. "However, I am finding it to be extremely useful right now since Ginny had everything tracked by hand. I've already begun a simple spreadsheet to keep track of all her vendors and their current costs. Since all the food is made at the bakery, I think I want to see if we can find any of the ingredients at a lower cost somewhere. I mean, really flour and eggs are flour and eggs no matter where you buy them right?"

"I would assume so, but clearly I'm the last person to ask about eggs seeing as though I couldn't even make scrambled ones yesterday."

"Good point," she giggles. "How was your morning? Your last meeting sounded…rough."

"That's an understatement," I chuckle. "It's been very busy and really up until that meeting was going well."

"Did you fire her?"

"I did. She was a member of my PR team and I've been questioning her advice for some time now. The meeting today was just the last straw; I had to let her go."

"Is it hard?"

"Is what hard?"

"Firing someone? I've never done that before…."

"The first time you do it, it'll be hard. You'll put off doing it, keeping the person around much longer than you should because you want to keep giving them chances that they don't deserve. But eventually you will do it; it'll be hard and you'll probably feel bad afterwards but then once you get past it you will realize it was something you should have done a long time ago. I think after that it gets a little easier."

"I'm not going to look forward to that part of owning the bakery."

"It was probably one of the hardest things I did when I first started GEH, but it's a part of business. It's important not to befriend your employees; it makes firing them or even disciplining them much more difficult. That's probably going to be hard for you though seeing that you were their peer whereas I hired everyone for GEH from the beginning."

"I really wasn't friends with anyone though; I mean I didn't hang out with anyone outside of work. We would chat of course but it was never more than just passing time."

"Good; try to keep it that way. Many young managers make the mistake of hanging out with their employees outside of work, thinking that if they are liked by their employees they will do a better job. Part of that is true; you don't want your employees to hate you but at the same time you don't want such a casual relationship with them that they think they can take advantage of you."

"Good point."

"Don't be surprised if you receive some push back from a few of your employees; I think it's going to be hard for some of them to look at you as their boss. Be firm in the decisions you make; if you're uncertain about any decisions hold off on implementing them until you are sure. I swear some employees can smell uncertainty."

"Thank you Christian. I really appreciate all your advice, it's very helpful."

"If I ever overstep, just tell me. I'm so used to taking over companies and keeping my hands in them well after the acquisitions are finalized, it's second nature for me to want to be involved with the bakery."

"I think I'd be more lost if you weren't involved."

"Mr. Grey, your one o'clock is here," Andrea alerts me which is a good thing because I don't know how an hour has passed by since Ana walked into my office with lunch. I swear it felt like we just sat down.

"I should go, I'm sure Mr. Donnelly is waiting for me as well," Ana begins clearing off the table and I quickly grab the garbage can next to my desk.

"Andrea reserved the board room just next to my office for you to meet with him in."

"Thank you for letting me take some of his time Christian, I'm sure he is very busy with projections for you."

"It's nothing Ana, he's glad to help however he can."

Ana picks up the files and her laptop I only now realize she had placed on the chair when she walked in and gives me a quick kiss before turning to walk out of my office. With my hand on her back, I escort her to the board room where Mr. Donnelly, the head of my financial department at GEH is already waiting for her. I introduce them quickly and Mr. Donnelly immediately begins showing Ana all the information we currently have from the purchase of the bakery. Although this was not a purchase by GEH, I still had several of my departments involved in the purchase; Mr. Donnelly's opinion was key in my decision to purchase Sweet Dreams for Ana. Had he said that the bakery was losing money or that it wouldn't last more than five years on its current track, I would have moved on and looked into purchasing a different bakery for Ana. I wasn't going to set her up to fail, especially not with her first company.

"Sawyer, my office. Andrea, give me two more minutes," I request.

"Mr. Grey," Sawyer closes the door behind him.

"I want you to run to Neiman's and get Ana a bag before her meeting is finished."

"A bag sir?"

"For her laptop and all the other stuff she brought today. Something classy but functional."

"Yes sir. I'll go right now."

"Very good."

My next meeting takes longer than I expected but thankfully Andrea was able to rearrange my afternoon a bit so I have a break in my schedule to prepare before my last meeting of the day. After checking through emails and returning a few phone calls I gather up the documents I need Andrea to prepare for the meeting and bring them out to her. On my way back and I realize that the board room door is still open and when I hear Ana's voice I'm surprised to learn that she is still here. I had assumed she had left long ago.

"Thank you again for your time today Mr. Donnelly I really appreciate it."

"No problem Mrs. Grey, I'm glad I could help."

Just as I approach the doorway I watch Ana bend over the chair next to gather up her files and papers that are sitting there. Mr. Donnelly comes around the table just in time to see Ana bent over the chair and he stops dead in his tracks, his eyes obviously glued to her ass. My hands clench in anger when I see him blatantly staring at Ana; I silently count to ten wiling myself not to punch his lights out.

"Excuse me," I enter the room and watch the color leave Mr. Donnelly's face at the realization that he has been caught. "Ana, can I see you for a moment?"

"Sure, just let me-"

"It can wait," I interrupt and lead her by the hand back to my office. I glare at Mr. Donnelly as he skirts past us hurrying to the elevator no doubt afraid that if he waits another moment he's going to get fired or get his ass kicked.

"Christian-"

My lips are on hers before the door closes behind us; I back Ana up until she is against the door. When she gasps in surprise, I take full advantage and slip my tongue into her mouth tasting every inch of her. Her hands fist my hair, she moans when I reach around and grab her ass pulling her against me. With my lips never leaving hers, I pull the blazer off of her quickly tossing it onto the floor somewhere behind me. Pushing her dress up, I can't help but groan when my fingers find her damp thong. Her hands are between us, unbuttoning my pants before she frees my dick from the tight confides of my underwear.

"Christian!" Ana gasps in surprise when I lift her up and carrying her away from the door. Her legs are wrapped around my waist, her dress now pushed all the way up around her hips. Her thong is the only thing stopping me from thrusting into her right now, that and the fact that I'm not wearing a condom.

Finally reaching my desk, I set her down on a pile of papers, without giving a shit what they are, and grab a condom from the drawer. I quickly pull at her thong until I feel it rip; she moans against my lips and I can feel how turned on she is when I slide my fingers through her slit. I quickly tear open the condom, cover myself and thrust into Ana.

"You're mine," I all but growl in her ear as I hold her against me, desperately needing to sink further into her.

"Hmmmm…." She pushes right back against me.

"Tell me….tell me you're mine," I mean it to come out strong and demanding, but instead it comes out more like a plea.

"Yes….I'm yours Christian," she pants and wraps her arms around my neck.

I don't know what comes over me, but I thrusting hard and fast into her as I suck and nibble on her neck. Ana's legs grip me tightly, never letting me pull out far from her before I plunge back inside of her warmth. I lose track of the number of times she comes, my name is all but a whisper on her lips after the third time. I've been holding myself back, not wanting this moment to end but when Ana takes my ear in her teeth and bites down I lose any sense of control I had.

"Mine," I growl and thrust hard into her one final time.

"Yes," she moans as my own release triggers another one for her.

Ana's head falls onto my shoulders, her body going limp against mine. I gently lift her off the desk and carry her over to the small sofa against the windows, sitting down with her straddling my legs our connection still intact. My heart is pounding and my breathing is still erratic, but Ana's fingers teasing my hair grounds me and brings me back to reality. It's only then do I realize that we are both still partially dressed and I that I just fucked Ana on my desk….SHIT!

"Ana…Fuck….I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing?" she leans back so she can look at me and fuck if my dick doesn't twitch as she grips me while I slip deeper into her.

"I'm sorry….I shouldn't have done that."

"Shouldn't have done what exactly?"

"Done that," I gesture to my desk confused as to why she isn't getting what I'm referring to. "I shouldn't have fucked you-"

"Okay then," before I can stop her she climbs off of my lap, pulls her dress down and goes in search of her blazer.

"Fuck Ana….that's not what I meant," It takes my brain a few seconds to realize that she now things that I'm saying I regretted having sex with her.

"It's fine Christian," she picks up her blazer and leaves my office before I can find my pants to go after her.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

If I didn't still have employees here I would run after her right now, dick hanging out and all. Knowing that Andrea wouldn't appreciate seeing that much of me, I quickly toss the condom into the garbage can and thrown on my pants. It takes me longer than I would like to put myself back together and by the time I open the door there is no sign of Ana anywhere to be seen.

"Mr. Grey, everyone has arrived and is waiting in the board room for you."

"Thank you," I look over the elevator willing it to open with Ana waiting for me.

"Mrs. Grey just left with Mr. Sawyer sir," Andrea says.

"Thank you Andrea."

Returning to my office, I throw my phone against the wall, watching it come apart before it hits the floor. I fucking suck at relationships; this is exactly the reason I tried so hard to fight my attraction to Ana. I fucking knew that I would fuck this up.


	56. Chapter 56

_Author's Note: I wanted to thank the guest reviewer who several chapters back gave me the idea for the last chapter. He/she specifically asked to see a jealous Christian and even gave the idea of having him get jealous over the financial guy meeting with Ana. So guest, thank you for the idea – I hope you enjoyed seeing jealous Christian! Once again, thank you all for your reviews, feedback and PMs on this story. I love reading what everyone thinks and as you can tell I love getting ideas that I can use in this story!_

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 56 CPOV:**

"Grey, we need to get started," Roz simply shakes her head looking at the pieces of my phone lying on the floor.

"Start without me-"

"We can't. You know as well as I do they won't close this deal without you. Whatever is going on needs to wait. If you aren't in the meeting, they're going to walk and we're going to lose all the work we've put into this deal for the last year. We need this shipping dock; it's the only one that is big enough to meet our needs-"

"Fine," I grumble, reluctantly agreeing with her. "Andrea, I need a new phone."

"Yes sir, I'll have one to you in the next few minutes."

"Ladies, gentleman," I address the many people around the board room focusing on this deal and trying to forget how badly I just fucked things up with Ana. "Let's get started shall we?"

While Roz is reviewing the information she put together, Andrea quietly walks in and hands me a new phone completely linked with my email, contacts and calendars. Immediately I look to see if Ana texted, which she didn't although I can't say I'm surprised. I wish like hell she didn't leave my office so quickly and gave me a chance to explain. I can only imagine what she thought I meant; I still can't believe I told her I shouldn't have fucked her. Of all the ways I could have worded what I meant, I had to pick the worst way possible. I thought she would be mad that I treated her like that; I knew I was too rough with her and unfortunately didn't realize it until it was too late. I don't know what got into me; I never felt so…possessive over a woman as I did in that moment. When I saw Donnelly looking at Ana like that, I knew he wanted her and I knew I needed to get him away from her. I don't think he ever would have acted on what he saw even if I hadn't walked in but seeing him looking at her like that just made me lose it.

Try as I might, I cannot fucking focus on this meeting. Luckily really this is Roz's deal; she has been working for over a year on this project and is essentially running this meeting. The only reason I am here is because they refuse to finalize the contract with Roz without me being present. Normally I don't play hardball like this, but Roz was right, I need this shipping dock and they know it. At this point I'm at their mercy so when they demanded I sit with them to review the final contract I couldn't say no. However since I don't really need to focus too much on this meeting, my mind continues to focus on how badly I might have fucked things up with Ana. I spend the meeting texting her, tempted to walk out and call her but I know that will just piss off the dock owners more so I force myself to stay in the meeting. She doesn't respond to my text messages, but that doesn't stop me from sending them. I guess I keep hoping that she'll eventually respond to one of them.

 _I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said –C_

 _I couldn't leave, I couldn't come after you. I'm stuck in a meeting, but as soon as I get home tonight we need to talk –C_

 _Please give me a chance to explain Ana –C_

 _I didn't mean it the way it sounded. –C_

 _Shit, I'm horrible at this Ana, please….let me explain –C_

 _I'm so fucking sorry Ana –C_

 _I wish I would have followed you when you left my office. I wish I could have insisted that Taylor follow Sawyer back to Escala so we could talk. I'm sorry I had to be in this meeting –C_

 _Ana….don't let me fuck this up, please. I can't lose you –C_

"Ladies and Gentleman, on behalf of GEH I want to thank you for allowing us to purchase this property from you. As the contract states, you have thirty days to vacate the premises and to notify all of your vendors that you will no longer be operating at this location. We will take over use of the dock exactly 31 days from today."

Even though I want nothing more than to leave and go find Ana, I stay and shake hands with everyone at the table while they packing up. This really has been a very long process; it took over six months to negotiate just the sell price of the dock and then another two months of contract negotiations. Combined with the months of due diligence and legal review, it's taken more than year to get to where we are tonight.

"Great job Roz," I pat her on the back when the last person leaves the board room.

"Thanks Grey. Now go buy the biggest bouquet of flowers you can find at this hour for your wife," she smirks knowingly.

"How did you-"

"I watched her storm out of your office with Sawyer hot on her heels only minutes before you came out of your office. You obviously did something to piss her off, which is no surprise if you ask me. Go find her flowers, maybe a nice bottle of wine, and apologize to her."

"I will," I chuckle at how well Roz knows me.

"Sir-" Taylor is at my side the moment I step out of the board room.

"Give me two minutes Taylor, I need to put this shit in my office," I gesture to the pile of papers in my hand.

"Yes sir, but-"

He stops talking when I open the door to my office and freeze without stepping more than a foot further. Much to my surprise, curled up covered under a small blanket is Ana on the leather sofa in my office sound asleep.

"When did she come back?" I whisper.

"She never left sir."

"What do you mean she never left? Andrea said she left with Sawyer."

"Technically she did; Sawyer escorted her to the car but after putting her bag in the car she requested he bring her back up here. Unfortunately by that time you were already in your meeting."

"She's been here the entire time?" Fuck, my meeting lasted more than three hours and she was in here the entire time?

"Yes sir. She fell asleep about an hour or so ago. I had Sawyer bring up the emergency blanket from the SUV before I sent him home for the night."

"Let me put my stuff down and we'll leave."

"Yes sir."

I quietly close the door behind me before walking over to my desk and putting the paperwork away. I grab my laptop and a few other things I think I might need to review tonight, tossing them into my bag. Not wanting to wake Ana, I give Taylor my bag before gently lifting Ana off the couch and carrying her out of my office. She immediately snuggles into my chest but doesn't wake up until the SUV door closes.

"Christian?"

"We're heading back to Escala with Taylor."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep in your office-"

"It's fine. I had no idea you were there until I opened the door once the meeting ended. I can't believe you stayed the entire time."

"We needed to talk."

"I texted you-"

"Sawyer packed my stuff that was in the board room, I think the phone is in the bag…wherever that is. Thank you for the bag; it was very thoughtful of you to send Sawyer to get it for me. You didn't have to do that, but thank you."

"It was nothing Ana. I figured you needed a better way to carry everything especially since you'll probably be doing work at both Escala and at Sweet Dreams."

"Christian, I'm sorry I ran-"

"Shhh…Let's talk at home."

"Okay."

My arm is around Ana and she rests her head on my shoulder as Taylor drives us back to Escala. I can't begin to describe the relief I felt when I opened the door and found Ana sleeping in my office. I was convinced that she was so angry with me that she wouldn't want to talk to me at all, yet I find out she never even left the building.

"Are you hungry? I'm sure Gail has something in here that I can heat up for you-"

"Actually Sawyer brought me something to eat before he left."

"Oh, good. I'm glad you weren't starving and bored out of your mind while you were waiting for me. How about a glass of wine while we talk?"

"Thank you."

I pour us each a glass of wine and head into the great room where Ana is sitting on the couch waiting for me. She has taken off her blazer and shoes and is sitting with her legs tucked underneath her looking incredibly sexy as always. I take off my suit jacket and loosen my tie before sitting down next to her on the couch.

"Ana, I'm sorry-"

"No, Christian; I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ran out on you; I shouldn't have assumed that I knew what you meant when you said….well what you said. I should have realized that you didn't regret having sex with me per say but that you regretted having it in your place of business in the middle of the work day-"

"That's what you think I meant?"

"I get it, Christian. You don't want to look unprofessional and any of your employees could have walked in or needed you in that moment-"

"Ana, it's my fucking company and my fucking building. If I want to have sex with my….with you in my office in the middle of the work day, it's none of anyone's damn business!"

"Okay…..then I guess I really don't understand what happened….earlier. If it wasn't about where we had sex, why did you apologize for having sex with me today?" her faces turns this adorable shade of pink as she asks me the question. Part of me wants to chuckle at how innocent she is that she blushes at the mere discussion of us having sex. Ana truly is unlike any other woman I've ever been with. Hell, at the club it was expected to discuss sex before fucking someone. You had to know their limits and what their preferences were. I can't recall the last time a woman other than Ana blushed while discussing sex with me.

"Ana…" I run my fingers through my hair trying to quickly find a way to explain to her exactly what I was apologizing for without fucking things up more than I already have. "I wasn't apologizing for having sex with you, I was apologizing for _fucking_ you."

"I don't think I understand what the issue is."

"UGH, maybe I'm not explaining it right," I sigh in frustration trying to figure out how I can get her to understand what I'm saying. "Ana, I was rough with you, rougher than I should have been. And that's why I was apologizing. I shouldn't have been so rough with you-"

"Rough? Christian, you didn't hurt me-"

"Ana, I nearly fucked you against the door! Hell I would have it I didn't need a condom-"

"And I would have let you," she snaps back.

"You would have?"

"Christian, I'm not made of glass; I'm not going to break if you're a little rough with me."

"But-"

"Did you enjoy…what we did in your office today?"

"Of course but-"

"So did I-"

"Really? You did?"

"Christian…" her face turns an even deeper shade of red before she whispers, "it was really hot."

"It was?"

"You didn't think it was?"

"Of course _I_ did! I just didn't think you would have."

"Chrisitan….it was such a turn on to know that you were so….turned on that you couldn't wait until we got home. That you wanted me so bad that you couldn't even wait to take my clothes off. I've never had someone….want me like that."

"I've never wanted anyone like that before," the words come out before I can even consider whether or not I should admit that to her. "You're sure I wasn't too rough with you?"

"Christian, in case you failed to notice, I….came multiple times," I smile as her voice drops in volume when she mentions her orgasms, like she doesn't want anyone to know we're talking about sex, not that anyone can hear us right now. "I'm not made of glass; you're not going to break me by being a little rough, I promise."

"I didn't want….I was afraid you would think that I was like your ex-"

"Never," she quickly shuts me up. "Christian you are nothing like him in any way, shape or form."

"But-"

"No, Christian; nothing you did or will do during sex will ever remind me of him. He wasn't….aggressive or forceful in the bedroom if that's what you're worried about. The few times we did have sex, it was….very basic. I never…came-"

"What?" I did not just hear her correctly.

"He never could….I never…." She stutters while blushing an even deeper shade of red.

"He never made you come?"

"He used to say it that it was proof of how lousy of a fuck I was if I couldn't even bring myself to enjoy it," she shrugs her shoulders and looks away embarrassed.

"Ana," I pull her onto my lap so she is straddling my legs as we face each other. "I hope I've proved to you just how wrong that asshole was about you. You make me lose control like no one ever has and today was proof of that. That asshole clearly had issues in the bedroom of us own and instead of owning up to it he blamed you for not being able to keep his dick up."

"Christian!" she giggles in surprise at the bluntness of my words.

"Ana, I'm really sorry about earlier. I never meant for you to think that I was apologizing for having sex with you; I will never apologize for that. I was trying to tell you that I was sorry for how I behaved, for how rough I had been-"

"Don't apologize for that Christian. I liked it," she runs her fingers lightly through my hair. "How…passionate and demanding you were, how turned on you were, how much you needed me…was incredibly hot."

"You're incredibly hot," I whisper and lean up cautiously kissing her. I'm kind of waiting for her to push me away, for her to still be angry or upset with me because this all seems to have ended too quickly. I was expecting her to be furious at me not only for what I said to her but for how I treated her in my office. I never considered that she thought it was as hot as I did. I mean, I knew she enjoyed what happened in my office; that was clear before she stormed out of my office. But I expected that once she realized how rough I had been with her that she would have gotten even more mad at me. Knowing now that she really did enjoy what happened in my office, has my mind racing. I can't help but wonder what else she might enjoy, how many different ways I can possibly make her come and all the things I want to do to her beautiful body.

"Hmmm," Ana's moan against my lips pulls me back to the great room where she is sitting on my lap with her dress hiked up to her waist. My hands immediately go to her firm ass and I groan in realization that she isn't wearing any panties the ones I ripped off of her probably left in the trash can in my office. With her lips still on mine, she slowly reaches for the buttons on my dress shirt, pulling the fabric from my chest before unbuttoning them. Ana's lips leave mine, although I can still feel her breath on them; when I open my eyes I find her eyes on me questioningly. Although I hate having her hands, or anyone's, this close to my chest, I don't stop her from moving to the second button on my shirt. I trust Ana to not touch my chest, although I find myself wondering what it would feel like if she accidently did touch me there. I let out the breath I was holding when she reaches the lower buttons and move to lower the zipper on the back of her dress down. Ana slips off my lap and pulls the dress from her arms, slowly letting it fall to the floor and fuck if I don't nearly lose it right then and there. She's standing in the middle of my great room wearing nothing but a red lace bra and a pair of black heels.

"Fuck," I gasp, not able to take my eyes off of her.

I quickly stand up, wrap my arm around her waist and pull her body against mine. She gasps just before I kiss her, devouring her as my hands caress every part of her body that I can reach. Ana reaches between us, unbuttons my pants and slowly pushes them down along with my underwear. I grab her ass and pull her back against me, my dick rubbing against her sex causing us both to moan.

"I don't have condoms out here," I groan in realization.

"Go get one, I'll wait here," she winks before pulling away from me. I turn just before leaving the room to catch her reaching behind herself to unclasp her bra. I rush into bedroom, thankful that it is on the main floor and not upstairs; I grab a condom from the nightstand drawer making a mental note to pick up more before heading back to the great room where Ana is sitting on my couch completely naked waiting for me. Who knew something as simple as that could be so sexy?

"I need to start keeping condoms every room," I sit on the couch and yank her back onto my lap desperate to feel her against me again.

"Or I could go on birth control so we wouldn't have to use them anymore?"

"Yes," I whisper, the thought of being inside of her without a barrier nearly pushes me over the edge. I've never been with a woman without a condom, never even considered it, but since Ana-

"I'll call tomorrow," she kisses me; my hands are at her beautiful tits teasing her nipples causing her to moan with desire. Her hands fist in my hair, her body arches pushing her tits against my hands and she rubs her wet sex against my dick. Ana pulls back just enough to grab the condom that I tossed on the couch next to us. She quickly opens it, rolls it onto me before position herself just above my dick; she slowly lowers herself onto me gasping as her tight sex stretches to accommodate me.

"Oh God," she whispers when she takes me in completely.

"You feel so fucking good Ana," I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her against me loving the way her hardened nipples feel against my chest. "So fucking tight…"

"Christian!" she gasps when I thrust up, pushing myself even further into her. I grab her ass and slowly urge her to ride me, knowing that if she continues to stay still and grip me the way she is doing right now I won't last long enough to watch her come. Ana grips the back of the couch for leverage and begins moving against me, slowly sliding me in and out of her throbbing sex. Her body seems to pull me in each time she lowers herself onto me; her body grips me even tighter when she rises as if her body doesn't want me to leave. As her movements quicken, I suck her nipples into my mouth each time her beautiful breasts come close enough.

"Ahhhhhhhh," she screams as she nearly slams her body into mine, exploding against me. Her head falls to my shoulder as she continues to rock her body against me, her sex convulsing against my dick desperately trying to milk my orgasm from me. I hold back, not ready for tonight to end; I focus on my schedule for the rest of the week as a way to distract my mind from the amazing things that Ana's body is doing to me right now. When I finally feel back in control, I wrap my arm around Ana's waist and slide to the end of the couch before standing up. She giggles in surprise but wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders.

I walk around the side of the couch and set her down, slowly pulling out of her in the process. I quickly turn her around, gently pushing down on her back urging her to bend over the arm of the couch which she quickly does. Slowly sliding back into the warmth of her body, I groan at the way her body naturally grips me and tries to pull me in deeper. Apparently not enjoying the slow entrance, Ana leans up and thrusts her body against mine gasping when I'm once again fully inside of her.

"Fuck Ana!" Once again she starts moving herself against me and it takes everything in me not to hold her still and take control. I love watching how confident Ana is becoming; when she looks back at me, her face flush with excitement I nearly come right then and there. But once again I force myself to hold the orgasm back, still not ready for tonight to end.

"Oh God!" she gasps when I reach around and apply the slightest pressure to her clit causing her to grip me even tighter which I didn't think was possible. As she gets closer to another release, her movements become more erratic, her breathing increases and her moans are louder. I lean over her, keeping my fingers on her clit and take over the movements for her. When she reaches up and grabs my hair to pull me closer to her, I lose any ability to hold back the orgasm. My movements begin to reflect my own need for a release and Ana again starts pushing back against me each time I thrust into her.

"Ana..." I gasp out her name as my release spills into the condom and immediately I wonder what it would feel like if that barrier wasn't there, if instead I just emptied myself into Ana's warm body.

"Christian," Ana's body grips me, sucking the last of the orgasm out of me as she finds her own release.

I collapse against her; the arm that was holding me up finally gives out, I wrap my arm around Ana holding her against me as we both try to come down from the incredible high that seems to follow each release. Even though I'm tempted to not move, I know that this position can't be comfortable for Ana so a few moments later I reluctantly pull out of her still throbbing sex. I take her hand and help her stand up before turning her around and pulling her against me. She immediately leans up against me and kisses me.

"Why don't we take a shower and head to bed?" I suggest.

"Sounds good," she giggles after a brief moment. "I need to run upstairs before we do that though."

"Oh?"

"I need underwear," she blushes despite the fact that she's standing completely naked in front of me.

"You panties should be in my room."

"They should?"

"I had Gail move all your clothing into my closet when you were meeting with Donnelly."

"I could have done that; you didn't need to ask Gail to."

"I know, but I did and now your clothes are in my closet. Come, let's go take a shower."

 _Author's Note 2: What do you think? Did Ana give in too quickly? Some of the reviewers said Christian should be groveling but really Ana was just as wrong as Christian was. She shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and shouldn't have ran out instead of giving him a chance to explain. Updates next week will be far less than what you got this week; unfortunately the week is going to be pretty hectic. I promise to update next week; I just can't say when that will be. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!_


	57. Chapter 57

_Author's Note: A guest reviewer asked if they would see a time jump of two years anytime soon; the answer is no. I've never done a big time jump like that in any of my stories, and in this one it would lose too much. Ana and Christian have just begun to take their "relationship" to the next level and still have so much they need to work through. I'm sure you're wondering what will happen at the end of the two years as far as their arrangement goes, and we will eventually get there, but we have a lot to get through first. I know the story is moving much slower than most fanfics do, but as I said in the story description, the road would be long for these two. We need some drama, some romance and eventually someone needs to say those three little words. To the couple of other guest reviewers who jumped to my defense, thank you. I'm going to try my hardest to get another chapter up this week, but it's highly unlikely it will happen. The next chapter will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday as I'm off of work Monday for the holiday which means I will be spending the day chasing my three little ones the house._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 57 APOV:**

"Do you have everything you need?" Christian asks.

"Yes, my dress was delivered this morning and my bag is packed," I confirm.

"You have the bakery covered?"

"Yup, Mia is starting her first shift this weekend-"

"Mia?"

"I don't think I had a chance to tell you, but when Mia and I met for lunch the other week we got to discussing the bakery and her experience in Paris. One thing led to another and she mentioned wanting to find a small bakery to work in that was like the one she found in Paris. We didn't have any spots available at the time but we're short staffed this weekend because someone is on vacation so I asked Mia if she would be interested in picking up a shift."

"Just be careful Ana, Mia….well she can change career interests faster than anyone you've ever met. Don't get me wrong, I love Mia to death but she usually doesn't commit to anything for more than a couple weeks."

"I've kind of gotten that impression which is why I told her she could work when we were short staffed because someone called out sick or was on vacation. If it works out, then we'll put her on the schedule for one or two shifts a week. If it doesn't, no harm done."

"She might surprise me; I know she loved her experience in Paris."

"We'll see."

"We're scheduled to leave in the next hour, we'll fly out then check into the hotel. The charity dinner starts at four; the country club where it's being held is only a ten minute drive from the hotel. Taylor and Sawyer are meeting us at the hotel to handle our transportation to the club-"

"It'll be fine Christian. You seem nervous? I don't think I've seen you like this before an event. Is there something special about this one that I should know about? "

"No….it's just," he runs his hands through his hair nervously. "This will be our first event since…it's the first time we will arrive to an event as a married couple."

It's kind of funny, but we really don't talk about our wedding or our marriage unless it's in terms of the press. In the two weeks since we've been back from Fiji, we've sort of fallen into what most people probably consider a normal relationship. We obviously live together, we sleep in the same bed, have dinner together most nights, talk about our day and get to know each other better. The part that neither of us really talk about is that we're doing this technically as a married couple. Most people spend months if not years getting to know each other before even moving in together let alone getting married. But Christian and I have a unique situation and we're spending time getting to know one another after we moved in together and after coming back from our honeymoon. We also don't discuss the one other thing that sets us way apart from other couples…the arrangement that we currently have or the one that has brought us to where we are today.

"I have to admit I was surprised there wasn't press around when we went to that business dinner last week," I say.

"Since the takeover was not public knowledge yet and we knew it was going to likely result in disgruntled employees, we purposely went out of our way to ensure privacy. That was the reason we rented out the entire restaurant and had all the employees sign NDAs. We threatened to shut down the place for good if their staff breathed a word to the press about our presence that night. But tonight…."

"You're worried about the press?"

"I'm not worried about them per say, I just need tonight to go off without a hitch. Tonight…this is the start of getting them to back off and let me focus on GEH. I need them to see….that everything is perfect so they will leave my company the fuck alone."

"Is there anything you need me to do?"

"No…I mean, not really. Having you there with me should be all they need to back off. I just-"

"It'll be fine Christian, try not to worry so much about it. The press will get the pictures they've been after since we returned from Fiji and once they see that we're together I'm sure they will back off."

"I hope so Ana; they've been a thorn in my side for the last two years. I'm ready to be done with them."

"What about you? Do you have everything you need for the trip?"

"As long as I have you, I have everything I need," he says before kissing me gently on the lips and heading into his office.

I try not to read too much into his words; I try to remind myself that he is only referring to this event and not referring to needing me in general. Although, ever since our honeymoon we've become closer than we have been which makes it hard not to question his words. There are days when I think I have my feelings for Christian figured out but then he goes and says something like that which makes me question everything I know. Most days I think I'm falling in love with Christian and then there are days like this…when he says something that makes my heart feel like it's going to burst. Those are the days when I'm certain that I'm falling in love with Christian or convinced that I'm already in love with him. He's a hard man not to fall in love with: he's kind, caring, thoughtful and incredibly handsome.

I've tried to deny feeling the way I do about Christian but it's only since we returned from Fiji that I've realized just how impossible that really is. Living together and more importantly, sharing a bedroom, has only brought us closer and made my feelings stronger. I'm convinced that Christian doesn't feel the same way about me; I know he cares about me and that we've moved beyond being friends a long time ago. I don't really know how he feels about me, although if I were to guess I'd say he sees me probably as a girlfriend that he cares about. But there are days like today, when he says something that makes me wonder if by some chance he could be developing stronger feelings for me than I think.

 _Ana….don't let me fuck this up, please. I can't lose you –C_

That last text from Christian the day we had…I guess a misunderstanding about what happened in his office, was the first time I let myself consider that Christian may be falling for me. I've wanted to ask him what he meant by that text so many times but I'm petrified of the answer. Instead of asking him, I've tried to convince myself that Christian saying he can't lose me is because of our arrangement. That he is worried about how the press would react to a divorce so quickly after the wedding and how that would ruin his company. I think I've reread that text hundreds of times since that day trying to figure out exactly what he meant or what was going through his mind when he typed it. Though in the last few days I've realized I will never know what Christian meant since there is no way in hell that I'm going to set myself up to be hurt even more by asking him.

I shake my head, desperately needing to pull myself from my thoughts, and head towards a bedroom to make sure I have everything packed for the trip. We're going to be gone one night, but I've packed an extra set of clothes just in case Christian decides to stay a second night as he mentioned it was a possibility.

"There you are; are you read to leave?" Christian comes into the room a few minutes later.

"Yes, I was just double checking that I had everything packed. Everything we need is in this bag, except your tux and my dress which is in the garment bag in the closet."

"Great, I'll grab those and we can head out."

Christian grabs the garment bag and I take the small overnight bag with our other clothes in it along with my purse and follow Christian to the elevator. I don't notice what floor he presses until I realize we're going up instead of down to the parking garage.

"Why are we going up?"

"We're flying to the hotel, remember?"

"Yes, but shouldn't we be heading to the parking garage so we can drive to the airport?"

"I thought I mentioned it, but I probably didn't-we're not taking the jet tonight."

"Oh?"

"We're taking my helicopter."

"Your helicopter?" People seriously own their own helicopter? Although I really shouldn't be surprised considering this is the man who owns a jet – although that's kind of different since it's his company's jet.

When the elevator doors open, Christian leads me down a hallway before opening a door which I quickly realize leads to the roof of Escala. In front of us is a very large, pristine black helicopter; if Christian didn't tug my hand I probably would have continued to just stand there and stare at it without moving. Instead, Christian leads me over to the helicopter where he introduces me to the pilot.

"Do you need anything else Mr. Grey?" the pilot asks.

"No, we'll take it from here. There is a car waiting to take you back to the hanger whenever you're ready to leave. Thanks again."

"Have a nice trip Mrs. Grey."

I'm left a little confused as I watch the pilot head for the door that we just came out of.

"If you climb in, I'll help you get strapped in before we take off," Christian says.

"Where's the pilot going?"

"Back to the hanger and then home I assume, why?"

"Who's flying us to the hotel then?"

"I am."

"You are?" Seriously?

"Yes…I'm a certified pilot and have flown this helicopter hundreds of times since I purchased it two years ago."

"You're a pilot?"

"Yes, of course."

"And you're going to fly us to the hotel in this…helicopter?"

"Yes, I am."

"You can really fly this thing?"

"Ana, stop worrying. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

His lips are on mine before I have a chance to respond; his arm wraps around me as he pulls me close to him. He backs us up until I'm against the side of the helicopter; his body is pressed firm against mine and I can't help but moan when his tongue urges my lips to open. I wrap my arms around Christian's neck and for the next few minutes completely forget where I am.

"Climb in or we'll never get to the hotel," Christian instructs.

I sigh, tempted to ask him if we could miss the dinner and go straight back to his bedroom, but instead I climb onto the large seat of the helicopter. Christian pulls the straps around my arms and attaches them to a clip, before tightening the straps.

"Hmmmm, I like you like this," he mumbles so quietly I almost question whether or not I heard him correctly but before I can ask him he closes the door and walks around the helicopter to get in his seat.

"Here, you'll need these," he hands me very large headphones with a microphone attached. "I need to run through the preflight check before we take off."

I watch in awe as he flips switches and checks gauges while reporting everything to someone on the other end of the headphones. I can hear what they're saying but they might as well be talking in a different language because none of what they're saying makes any sense to me.

"Have a safe flight Charlie Tango, contact air control if you need assistance."

"Thank you."

The next thing I know the blades on the helicopter start turning and the helicopter gently lifts off the roof of Escala. I clutch the arm of my chair when we lift completely off the building and start flying away from it; I vaguely hear Christian chuckle but pay him no attention.

"If we can time it right, I'd love to fly you back here at night. Seeing Seattle from the sky at night is like nothing you've ever seen."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"No, all the buildings above a certain height are marked with lights to alert air craft to their locations but even in the helicopter we will be flying far above them. Escala has a lighted landing just for helicopters so landing won't be an issue. I've flown this route many times over the last couple of years, so you don't need to be worried about getting lost."

"How long is the flight?"

"Only about twenty five minutes from Escala to the hotel. It would take more than two hours to drive possibly longer depending on the traffic leaving the city."

"I still can't believe you own a helicopter."

"I could say that I bought it to be more time efficient when traveling, but the truth is I bought this for myself. I've had my pilot's license for several years now, but after….after everything came to light with Katherine I needed to do something for myself. I sold the condo I had at that time, purchased the penthouse and a couple of months later purchased this helicopter. Other than the penthouse I've never splurged on something this large just for myself but after everything-"

"You deserved it Christian; especially after everything that she nearly cost you," I assure him.

He doesn't agree with me but doesn't argue either; I could tell he felt a little guilty admitting that he bought this helicopter just for himself. He works hard for the money he earns and to make GEH as successful as it is which earns him the right to splurge on himself every once in a while. Plus, everything that….that bitch did to him, he deserved to fly himself somewhere for a few weeks just to get some piece. I will never understand how she could have wanted to destroy Christian the way she almost did. Why try to sale his business secrets? Why try to ruin him? What did she think she was going to get out of it besides a few minutes of fame? Obviously haven't never met her I can't say for sure, but I wonder if she was just that insecure that she needed so much attention. To play with someone's emotions, their lives like that….people can be really horrible some times.

"That's the hotel right over there," Christian gestures to the large building just off in the distance in front of us.

"And they have a place to land this thing?"

"Yes," he chuckles again. "The roof of the hotel is equipped with a helicopter landing. From there I have a pilot that will take it to a small airport nearby until we need it brought back again."

"Who knew hotels had places for helicopters to land," I say more to myself.

"You'd be surprised at how many do. Especially in larger cities with successful businesses or areas that are tourist attractions."

"I suppose that makes sense."

I watch as we fly closer to the tallest building in the area which as Christian predicted had a well-lit landing set up for his elevator. I had no idea that hotels catered so specifically to their customer's needs; but I suppose when you have money to spend hotels will spare no expense. Obviously I don't have the same experience at hotels as Christian has had. If we ever stayed at a hotel growing up it was a motel and it was the type that no one really ever wanted to stay at. You only stayed there if you had no place to go. Many were often the type that rented rooms out by the hour which attracted a very interesting type of person. I shudder at the memory of some of those cheap motels, grateful to have gotten out of there.

"Here we are," we bump against the roof as Christian sets the helicopter down. "What did you think of the flight?"

"I can't believe you can fly this thing! It's so unreal," I'm still in complete awe that Christian can fly a helicopter. I mean come on, a _helicopter_?

"I told you not to worry about it."

I watch as Christian shuts the helicopter down before getting out, coming around to my side and helping me out of seat. He grabs our bags from the small back seat, before leading us over to the large door where he enters a code into the keypad to unlock the door.

"Good afternoon Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey; it's a pleasure to have you here as always," we are greeted by a hotel employee whose nametag indicates he is a manager here.

"Thank you, I assume our suite is ready for us?" Christian asks.

"Of course, we have the room you requested ready for you. Here are your key cards; if you need anything else please don't hesitate to call the front desk."

"Thank you. The pilot should be arriving shortly to take care of the helicopter."

"Of course, I will remain with it until he arrives."

"I appreciate that," Christian hands him a folded bill obviously as a tip for the extra attention that he has given us.

Christian takes my hand and leads me through the hallway to another door; a couple turns later we are in the elevator on our way to the room Christian reserved. Like at Escala, the room we are staying in for this trip is on the top floor which I'm sure will provide an absolutely stunning view.

"Wow….this is huge!" I exclaim walking into the suite.

"There's a fully equipped kitchen, a living room, master bedroom and then a second bedroom which has a small desk set up in it to double as an office. Both bedrooms have bathrooms attached; the fridge should be fully stocked if you would like anything."

"You stay here often?"

"When I travel this way for business I prefer to stay here. They have great customer service and are one of the few hotels in the area that have a landing area for Charlie Tango."

"Do you do a lot of business in this area?"

"The university is nearby, so I'm often here for meetings with them. But GEH has three companies under its umbrella in this area, so traveling here is often necessary. Sometimes Roz comes but if I have to meet with the university I will come and check on our acquisitions."

"This is a really large room for just one person," I don't know why but I have an uneasy feeling at the thought of him having another woman staying here with him when he traveled for business. I know it shouldn't bother me, but-

"I know…it's one of those weird things that's hard to explain," he sighs interrupting my thoughts. "Before….before I was adopted, I don't remember much about where I lived but I know the place was small. It was cramped; the bedroom was hardly big enough for my bed and dresser. The few toys I had were stored under the bed because there was nowhere else for them. The kitchen, dining room and living room were all really just one small room. When I first started traveling for business, I stayed in a…regular hotel room and even though it was a decent size, it just….it reminded me of that apartment. I know it probably doesn't make much sense-"

"No I get it. It makes perfect sense."

"Taylor and Sawyer are staying in the suite next to us," he changes the topic after a few minutes of silence. Christian and I are very much alike in that way, neither of us like to talk about our past if it can be helped. "They will accompany us to the charity event tonight and if we decide to go anywhere tomorrow."

"What charity is the dinner for tonight supporting?"

"A nationwide organization that helps victims of domestic violence; this is just one of many fundraising events they will do this year. My mother is on their board and helped organize tonight's event so of course she will be there along with my father."

The ringing of Christian's cell phone pulls his attention away from me so I go into the master bedroom and begin unpacking our bag. The master bedroom is much larger than I expected and has sliding doors which open to a small balcony overlooking the courtyard. The bathroom is what you would expect for a bedroom this size, complete with a large walk in shower with dual shower heads.

"We'll need to leave in about forty-five minutes," Christian says.

"Okay, I'm going to take a quick shower and start to get ready then. I unpacked our bags and put everything in the dresser."

"Thank you. I need to tackle something on my laptop before we head out; I'm going to be in the other bedroom until I need to get ready."


	58. Chapter 58

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 58 APOV:**

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, we have arrived," Taylor informs us.

Christian squeezes my hand before leaning over and kissing me, deeply on the lips. His tongue runs across mine and I moan once again wanting more but time is not on our side today. I feel him smile against my lips, likely knowing what I'm thinking, before he pulls away from me. We follow the prearranged script, Taylor and Sawyer get out of the SUV first before handing the keys to the valet. Christian gets out next and then I get out; Christian wraps his arm around my waist as we walk follow the couple in front of us towards the front of the building. Taylor and Sawyer are closely following behind us.

"Mr. Grey! Mrs. Grey!" our names are called several times from different directions as it appears the press has finally seen us. Cameras are flashing left and right as pictures are being taken of us.

"Mr. Grey, how is married life?" one reporter asks.

"Wonderful," Christian answers smiling at the reporter I think for the first time ever. "It's everything I imagined it would be."

He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips earning a gasp from one of the reporters. We don't answer any other questions but thankfully none of the reporters question Christian about GEH or ask how any of this is affecting his business. Once we enter through the doors, I immediately feel the tension leave Christian's body knowing that the hard part of tonight is over.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, you are seated at table two this evening; if you need anything tonight please don't hesitate to find me. Thank you again for always supporting Second Chances Mr. Grey…." We are greeted by a middle aged woman as soon as we walk into the building. I don't listen to anything that is said beyond the name of the organization that the dinner is for tonight. I had no idea that when Christian said it was a charity supporting victims of domestic violence that it would be this organization. Really, what are chances? Of all the organizations in the world to have a charity event near Seattle, it had to be Second Chances. I shake my head at the irony of it all….

"Ana? You okay?" Christian pulls my mind back to the present.

"Yes, of course," I don't tell him how I know of Second Chances; tonight is stressful enough for him, I don't want to add to it. He looks at me like he knows I'm not being honest, but doesn't say anything. Instead he wraps his arm around my waist and leads me into the large ballroom that has been transformed for tonight's event. I try to focus on the room, the guests and pretty much anything else I can without thinking about what we are here to support.

"If you want to leave we can," he whispers as we take our seats at the table.

"No I'm fine."

"You're not. I should have realized this dinner would have hit too close to home for you. I'm sorry I didn't realize it before. Andrea sends replies for these types of events based on what I've attended in the past and only asks me about new charities. I didn't even realize what charity the dinner was for until yesterday when Andrea reminded me of the dinner. I should have said something to you about it, but it completely slipped my mine. I was so worried about the press, which isn't an excuse. I should have told you about the charity and asked you if you felt comfortable attending. We should go-"

"Christian, its fine. We're here already; we should stay."

"I don't like that it's making you uncomfortable."

"I'll be fine."

"Christian, Ana," Grace approaches our table essentially ending our discussion.

"Grace, it's so nice to see you tonight," I say as she hugs me.

"It's always lovely to see you Ana."

"How are you Ana?" Carrick asks kissing me lightly on the cheek.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Can't complain. I hear Mia is working for you tomorrow morning."

"Yes, she is helping out while someone is on vacation."

"She's very excited about it. I haven't seen her this excited about something since she came home from Paris last year."

"Oh, I'm so glad she's looking forward to it!"

"Ladies and Gentleman, please take your seats," a voice comes over the speakers above us. A quick glance to the front of the room finds the woman who greeted us when we entered the building. "I want to thank you for once again coming out to support Second Chances. I'm thrilled to not only recognize so many of our longtime supporters but also to meet several new ones that have supported us over the last year. As many of you know, I started Second Chances after losing my niece more than fifteen years ago at the hands of her abusive husband. I learned after her death that she tried to get away from him; she did everything that she was supposed to including filing police reports although she never charged him for his crime. The one thing that she couldn't find, was for someone to help her actually leave the bastard. She had a young child and no access to money to leave him; her parents had passed away years before and I think she was too embarrassed to reach out to any of her other family although we would have done anything to get her out of there. It wasn't until her death that I started looking into what agencies existed to help women in her situation. Other than a few shelters, there were very few organizations that had the money and resources to help women not only leave their abusive relationships but to actually help them move on with their lives. I am pleased to say that we are celebrating ten years at Second Chances next month. That's ten years of helping women not only end the abuse, but to move on with their lives. We help women move to different states, find jobs, secure housing and help them with anything else they might need to move on from their past. Helping these women has only been possible through your continued support. Tonight, we thank you for this and once again ask you to continue to support us so that we can continue to help women in need."

"Tonight you will have many opportunities to help us meet our fundraising goal this year including an auction and picture sales. Please enjoy your dinner and I look forward to speaking with you afterwards about some of the wonderful items up for auction this year."

When the speech ends, I realize Christian's eyes are on me and I don't need to ask to know what he's thinking. I have no doubt that without me telling him, he knows that this is the organization that helped me leave _him_ and relocate to Seattle. He squeezes my hand under the table but thankfully doesn't say anything. It was hard enough to listen to the speech and not tear up knowing all the ways they helped me those first few months. If it wasn't for them I don't think I ever would have been able to leave and certainly never would have made it to Seattle even if I did find a way to leave _him._

"Ana, I'm so sorry," Christian whispers.

I shake my head and focus on the menu that is in front of me. I try to look at the words on the menu but unfortunately the unshed tears in my eyes are blurring the words too much for me to do so. I don't know how long I sit there but Christian eventually takes my hand and leads me onto the dance floor where there are a few other people already dancing to the soft music.

"Shhhhhh," he rubs circles on my back and I put my head on his shoulder while holding his hand. "I'm so sorry Ana. I feel like such an ass for bringing you here-"

"Don't Christian. It's not your fault-"

"Ana, I should have known that bringing you to an event like this would have upset you."

"I don't know that I'm upset Christian…"

"What is it then Ana?"

"I don't know. I just know that if it wasn't for Second Chances, I wouldn't be here today. That story she told about her niece? That could have been me Christian," I feel his body tense against mine. "I was convinced that night he was going to kill me. By some miracle he didn't, but if I hadn't left that night he would have eventually killed me, I'm sure of that. This organization, they're the ones who made my leaving possible. They told me to pick any place in the country I wanted to go and they got me here. They helped me start a new life…."

"I'm so glad you found them Ana and that they were able to help you. I'm sorry that tonight is stirring everything up for you. We will leave as soon as dinner is over and head back to the hotel. They already have my donation so we won't miss anything."

"We don't need to do that Christian, I know tonight is important-"

" _You're_ important Ana. We're not going to stay if it makes you uncomfortable. We'll eat dinner and then I'll tell my parents something is going on at GEH that I need to deal with. They're used to it so they won't be surprised. We'll head back to the hotel and you can soak in the big tub in the bathroom if you want."

"I think I want to stay."

"Are you sure Ana? Really, we don't have to. No one will think twice if we need to leave early because of business, unfortunately they're used to it with me. Don't stay because of me Ana."

"I want to stay; I've never thought about what they do from this perspective. I never thought about all the fundraising that they must do to make what they do possible."

"We'll stay for as long as you're comfortable, but Ana if it becomes too much you just let me know and I promise you we will leave that minute. I'm kicking myself for not telling you about tonight; I wish like hell I wasn't so distracted by the press-"

"Christian; stop."

I silence him by kissing him; I try to convey in this how much his words mean to me but I don't think he gets it. I think he's too busy feeling guilty to recognize how much I appreciate his offering to leave despite how important tonight's appearance is to him. Christian's hand leaves mine and wraps around my waist, holding me close against him as his tongue dances with mine. I don't know how long we're on the dance floor for but when Christian finally pulls back I notice we are the only couple left on the floor and everyone else has taken their seat for dinner. Christian chuckles before leading me off the dance floor. As we approach the table I notice Grace smiling at us and whispering something to Carrick before he looks in our direction as well. I can't help but blush knowing that they were just watching us kiss to the point that neither of us realized that the music had ended and that everyone else left the dance floor.

"What is Elliot up to tonight?" Christian asks.

"He mentioned something about a date tonight and then having to travel for a project Sunday morning. I think he's expecting to be in California all next week for work if I remember correctly," Carrick explains.

"I hadn't realized that project was starting this week; he mentioned something about it a couple of weeks ago. I'll try to touch base with him during the week; I might have a project for him when this one is completed."

Conversation flows easily over dinner; Grace and Carrick ask about the bakery, Christian talks about his upcoming projects at work and Grace talks about staffing issues the hospital is having. I frequently catch Christian looking at me; I know he's watching to make sure I'm okay with being here and is probably preparing to leave at any moment. I think the initial shock of being here has passed; I meant what I said to Christian. I'm really looking forward to seeing how things work behind the scenes with Second Chances. I was so grateful for the help they gave me that I never stopped to think about how it was possible or where the money came from. My caseworker in New York easily accepted my desire to move to Seattle and didn't give it a second thought when she booked the ticket for me. When I found the apartment in Seattle, they didn't ask any questions when handing me a check for the security deposit so I could move in rather than stay in the shelter even longer trying to save money.

 _I want to meet with the woman who spoke earlier for a few minutes privately. Do you know if there is a room somewhere? –Ana_

 _I will find one and arrange for the meeting –Taylor_

 _Thank you –Ana_

A few minutes later I receive a text from Taylor confirming that the woman who spoke earlier has agreed to meet with me in a private meeting room across the hall but that it needs to be now because the silent auction is going to start soon.

"I'll be right back," I whisper to Christian.

"Everything okay?" he asks and I see the alarm in his eyes.

"It's fine, I'm fine. I'll be with Taylor for a few minutes."

"Alright, as long as you're sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, I promise," I kiss him gently on the lips and squeeze his hand before excusing myself and walking towards the doorway where I see Taylor waiting for me.

"Thank you for arranging this Taylor."

"Of course Mrs. Grey."

"I really wish you would call me Ana."

"I know Mrs. Grey," he smiles warmly at me before leading me to a small meeting room directly across the hall from the ballroom.

"Mrs. Peterson, this is Mrs. Grey," Taylor introduces before leaving the room and closing the room behind him.

"Mrs. Grey, it's a pleasure to meet you. Your husband and his family has been a supporter of Second Chances for several years now. Of course your mother in law is on our board, always leading our fundraising efforts. What is it I can do for you?"

"I wanted to thank you…."

I spend the next several minutes thanking the woman who essentially made my new life possible. Of course she had no idea who I was, which doesn't surprise me because of what a large organization Second Chances is, but I still felt the need to thank her and to let her know how much what she does helped me. Thank you seems incredibly insignificant but I still must have said it to her several times in those few minutes. She hugged me and thanked me for telling her my story before we left the room and headed back into the ballroom.

As soon as I reach our table, Christian stands up to greet me and wraps his arm around my waist before asking if I was okay quiet enough that no one overheard him. I reassured him that everything was fine; it really was. Even though I only spoke with Mrs. Peterson for a few minutes, I felt more at ease than I have since we walked in the door tonight. I don't know what it was, but something about meeting her settled the array of emotions I was experiencing. I fall back into conversation with Carrick and Grace, enjoying how comfortable I am with them despite only knowing them for such a short period of time.

"Ladies and Gentleman, our auction is going to start in the next few minutes. If you haven't already done so, please review the list of items up for bid which can be found on the back of your menu. We have everything from spa packages to vacation homes to skiing lessons up for auction tonight. As always, these items have been fully donated so the winning bid goes directly to Second Chances which allows us to continue to help women unfortunately find themselves needing our services," Mrs. Peterson briefly pauses before continuing.

"I can't tell you how many of these fundraising events I have hosted over the years, but tonight…tonight was a first for me. I had the opportunity earlier to speak with a woman who is sitting amongst you tonight who felt the need to thank me. You see, this woman was helped by Second Chances several years ago when she found herself needing our assistance to leave her abusive significant other. She contacted us very late one evening, after regaining conscious following a beating by a man who she lived with. Thankfully she was able to leave the house and we picked her up just a few blocks away to take her to our shelter where she received medical treatment and counseling. When she recovered, we asked her where she wanted to go, where she wanted to start over. She looked at a map and chose Seattle; I asked her tonight why Seattle and her answer was simple. You see she lived on the East coast with the man who beat her; she simply said she wanted to get as far away from him as possible. Within 48 hours we had her on a bus to Seattle where we continued to work with her through our sister agency until she found a job and secured an apartment of her own. This woman, she is the reason Second Chances does what it does. She had no means to leave her abuser; she had no job, no money, no access to transportation, no family…nothing. How could she have left him on her own? Meeting her tonight, especially having her here tonight, makes me proud. I'm proud that my organization, which started as a dream to help women, did exactly what I had hoped it would. It helped a woman restart her life, away from her abuser, when she had no means to do so on her own. With your support, we can continue to help women just like her. With that I'm going to turn the microphone over to Mr. Wild who will be handling our auction tonight."

"I am so proud of you," Christian whispers and pulls me against him. "You truly are one of the strongest women I know."

I blink back the tears that threaten to fall at his words; I can't remember anyone ever telling me that they were proud of me. I'm not sure why he is proud of me right now, but knowing that he feels that way….it overwhelms me. I pull back from him slightly, just in time to catch Grace watching us; she quickly looks away when she sees me look up. I have no doubt that she knows I'm the woman that Mrs. Peterson was talking about in her speech. And surprisingly I'm okay with that.

"Did you see the items up for auction?" Christian hands me the card.

"Wow…a lot of people donated things for tonight," I'm surprised at not only the amount of items donated but the size of them. Accommodations in vacation homes, lessons of all sorts, autographed books, airline tickets, concert tickets….the list just doesn't seem to end.

"If you could bid on anything on the list, what would it be?" he asks.

"Oh….that's tough," I look down the list again. "The weekend at the lake in the log cabin."

"Really?"

"A log cabin with modern amenities on thirty-five secluded acres," I read from the auction listing. "Doesn't that sound peaceful?"

"It does."

"Ladies and Gentleman, our auction is about to begin," Mr. Wild announces. "First up for bid…."

I'm shocked at the prices the items are going for; clearly this is a group of people who don't mine overpaying for items when the money goes to a good cause. People are bidding far more for items that they could purchase outside of the auction, yet they don't seem upset by this. In fact, several people burst into laughter as a bidding war ends over a spa package which is valued at $300 but has a winning bid of $750.

"Next up for auction is a seven day, six night stay in a log cabin in Montana. This cabin features four bedroom, three bathrooms and has all the modern amenities you would need. The cabin is completely secluded, offering fishing, hiking and hunting for the outdoorsman in you. The opening bid for the auction is five thousand…"

"Ten thousand," Christian says after a few minutes of low bids.

"Twelve," a voice from across the room says.

"Fifteen thousand," Christian counters.

"Christian!" I hiss not expecting to take my response so seriously. I did not expect him to bid on the item and certainly not for so much money.

"Going once, going twice….sold to Mr. Grey!"

"I can't believe you just did that!" I exclaim.

"I can," Grace giggles.

"Really son, if you wanted the cabin you should have just said something," Carrick chuckles.

"It's your cabin?" I ask shocked.

"Yes, we donate one week at the cabin to this auction every year," Grace says.

"You bid on your own family's cabin?" I shake my head at Christian.

"I was going to bid on something anyway," he shrugs. "You said that was the item you would bid on if you could, so I figured it would be the item I bid on tonight."

"Christian…I can't believe you just did that!"

"I would have spent that much money on something else, anyway. Why not get something you thought you would enjoy?"

"Christian…" I just shake my head in disbelief.

"Our final item up for auction tonight is another seven day, six night getaway…this time in Aspen Colorado. This vacation home features five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a hot tub, a large deck allowing you an unobscured view of the snowcapped mountains and of course all the modern amenities from home including a state of the art security system and a personal chef. This vacation package also includes a ski package with rentals for a family of four. Bidding for this package starts at seven thousand…."

"You donated that," I don't need to ask to know the answer.

"I did. Like my parents, I donate the week in Aspen every year to this auction," he shrugs as if it's no big deal.

I reach under the table and grasp his hand, squeezing it in mine as we listen to the bids on his vacation home grow. The final bid silences the room; one week at Christian's place in Aspen goes for twenty-five thousand dollars.

"Almost as much as last year son," Grace says.

"Last year?" I ask.

"The Aspen package went for thirty thousand last year," Grace explains.

"Wow…really?"

"Have you ever been to Colorado Ana?" Carrick asks.

"No."

"You guys should plan a trip there; the snow should be falling in the next two months or so. Maybe now that Christian has found you he will finally start taking vacations; his mother and I have been on his case for years now to take a vacation but before your honeymoon he always had excuses. I've never understood the point in having a vacation home if you never take a vacation."

"Actually dad, Ana and I were talking about taking a trip to Aspen this winter when we were in Fiji," Christian smirks at his dad.

"Good, you need to take more vacations," Grace says.

"Ladies and Gentleman," Mrs. Peterson is back at the podium a little while later. "While we still need to finalize the sales from tonight's pictures, I am pleased to share that the initial figures from tonight's auction tally more than two hundred thousand dollars!" The entire room erupts in applause. "I want to again thank you your continued support to Second Chances; without you our organization would not exist. Please take a moment to stop at the picture table on your way out; our photographers captured some truly beautiful pictures tonight. And like the items in our auction, the photographers all donated their time this evening therefore all proceeds from the sale of the pictures goes directly to Second Chances. I look forward to seeing each of you at our Spring Fling Gala. Thank you."

"Sawyer is getting the car from the valet, but while we wait do you want to check out the pictures?" Christian asks.

"Sure," I reply.

"Ana, Christian, your mother and I are going to be leaving. It was wonderful seeing you both tonight," Carrick shakes Christian's hand and kisses me on the cheek.

"Ana, if you ever want to help with fundraising for Second Chances you let me know. I'm always looking for help," Grace whispers as she hugs me goodbye. She moves onto Christian before I have a chance to reply or to thank her for the offer.

Christian leads me over to the picture table which is covered in dozens of printed pictures from this evening. At the same time we both reach for a picture that was taken at some point when we were on the dance floor earlier this evening. Christian's hand is on my back, his lips just inches away from my ear and our hands are grasped together against our shoulders. I had no idea when the picture was taken, but they seemed to have captured the moment perfectly. Christian reaches across the table, taking the remainder of the pictures of us that were taken throughout the evening. There are two more from the dance floor, both of us kissing. There is also one taken from across the room that has Christian looking at me while I'm looking at the podium. That picture stuns me…the way he is looking at me….I wish I knew what was going through his mind in that moment. Because based on the look in his eyes in the picture…it looks like he-

"Sawyer is waiting for us outside with the car; do you need anything?" Christian pulls me from my thoughts.

"No I'm ready." With his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me against his side, Christian leads us out the door with Taylor trailing behind us.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey!" Reporters call for us the moment we step outside. I had forgotten that they were even here tonight. "How was the dinner?"

"It was a success as always," Christian answers the reporter. "Second Chances is a wonderful organization that provides services to survivors of domestic violence. It is my understanding, that tonight's dinner raised more than two hundred thousand dollars which will help Second Chances continue to provide these valuable services."

"Mrs. Grey, our readers want to know what it's like to be married to Seattle's youngest billionaire," another reporter asks.

"Christian is a wonderful, kind, generous man who is nothing short of amazing as a husband."

Christian leans down and kisses me gently on the lips before escorting me to the SUV where Sawyer is waiting for us. I quickly climb into the car, followed by Christian before Taylor joins Sawyer in the front seat.

"Ana….thank you," he pulls me close to him as he sighs.

"For what?" I ask.

"For tonight…for everything. I know how difficult tonight must have been for you, but thank you for staying the entire night. Thank you for sharing your story with Mrs. Peterson; I know that couldn't have been easy for you-"

"Christian-"

"And thank you for what you said to the reporter on our way out tonight. You can continue to amaze me in everything that you do Ana."

"Christian…" his words once again have me tearing up.

Buzz…buzz….

"I think your purse is vibrating," Christian chuckles picking up my clutch that was on the seat between us.

"It must be a text, let me check it to make sure something isn't going on with the bakery that I need to deal with tonight."

 _You don't know your husband at all.  
You should ask him about the secrets he keeps from you.  
He's hiding things.  
Things he doesn't want anyone to know about, especially you._


	59. Chapter 59

_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay guys! This week has been hectic and I had some trouble writing this chapter. I've had the first half written for a couple of days but struggled on the second half. Once again I find myself wanting to jump to a certain part of the story that I'm dying to write, but I need to establish the basis for that part which means a few more chapters. I doubt I will get another chapter up this week, but I will definitely post next week. Thank you for your patience and the reviews asking for updates. For those of you in the eastern part of the US (NJ, MD, DE and PA), I hope we don't get buried in the snow that is being predicted!_

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 59 APOV:**

"Is it the bakery?" Christian asks.

"No….but-"

"Good, then it can wait," he takes the phone and drops it back into my purse before grabbing me and pulling me close to him so he can kiss me. His lips are on mine before I can respond; before I can tell him about the text but within seconds the last thing on my mind is the text message. I vaguely feel the car moving as we drive away from the country club back towards the hotel. Christian holds me as close to him as possible considering we are both wearing seat belts. I'm sure if we weren't in a moving car right now I would likely already be straddling him.

"You look so beautiful tonight," he moans as he places feather light kisses along my neck while his hands roam over my dress.

"Christian," I whisper eyeing Taylor and Sawyer who are sitting in the front seat with their eyes fixed to the road completely ignoring the make out session going on in the back seat. Christian must sense my unease and presses a button on the door which causes a privacy barrier to rise, separating the seats.

"Now where were we?" Christian reaches between us, unbuckling my seat belt before pulling me onto his lap.

"Christian!" I gasp, immediately looking towards Taylor and Sawyer.

"It's sound proof and tinted so they can't see a thing baby. Trust me, I wouldn't let anyone see your beautiful body or hear the sounds you make-"

I silence him once again by kissing him, all the while my face is a deep shade of red from the bluntness of his words. My gown is bunched up around my waist as I sit straddled on Christian's lap; the constant rocking of the SUV has my core rubbing against Christian's hardened erection below me.

"I want you Ana," he whispers.

I reach down and cup his erection in response to his words; he groans and thrusts himself against my hand.

"Taylor, drive around for a while," he presses another button on the door but the privacy shield doesn't come down.

Before I have a chance to realize what this means, Christian's lips are back on mine. His tongue seeks out mine, his hands roam over my body as my fingers weave through his unruly hair. His hands caress their way up my legs; Christian moans when he finds my damp silk thong under my dress. He teases me through my panties increasing my need for him. Somewhere in the back of my head I know that we're still in the back of a car, driving around whatever town we are in while a perfectly good hotel sits empty only a few minutes away. If I were with anyone else I would be concerned about getting caught or about Taylor/Sawyer seeing us, but I trust Christian completely and know that he wouldn't let that happen. And honestly, if I wasn't here with Christian I wouldn't be here at all; I would never have trusted someone enough to even think about getting this close to them.

"Ana…." My name on Christian's lips never fails to make my heart flutter more. Knowing that he wants me that much; that in this moment he is thinking of no one other than me always arouses me even more. I reach between us and unbutton Christian's tux pants, pulling down the zipper before tugging at the waist. Christian's eyes are filled with desire when they meet mine as he lifts himself up to push his pants and underwear down. His hardness rubs against my silk thong when I lean down to kiss him; his hands grab my ass and pull me against him so my clit is against him. A few seconds later Christian grips my thong and tears it apart, quickly tossing it to the floor so there is nothing separating us.

"Fuck!" Christian hisses.

"What's wrong?" I lean up so I can see him; his face is contorted in anger.

"I don't have a condom; I didn't think to-"

I place my lips against his, slowly rocking myself until I feel the tension begin to leave Christian's body. I reach between us and guide Christian to my core; his eyes open suddenly when I start to lower myself onto him.

"Ana?"

"You don't need one….unless…" I stop, wondering if I've misread things between us, now questioning if when Christian agreed to me going on birth control if he was just caught up in the moment and wasn't serious.

"Are you sure?" his eyes search mine in uncertainty.

"I went to the doctor; the shot was effective a couple of days ago. But if you would rather-"

He doesn't give me a chance to finish my sentence, instead with his hands gripping my hips tightly he urges me down. I feel myself slowly stretching to accommodate his large size before I taking him in completely. For the first time there are no barriers between us…

"Fuck Ana….you feel amazing. I'm not going to be able to last…you feel too good," he grunts against my lips, his hands still tight on my hips neither holding me in place nor urging me to move. I love watching Christian like this – watching him struggle to maintain control; it's one of the few times he isn't in control. And knowing that I do that to him…it's kind of empowering.

"Move Ana….please baby, I need you to move…"

I slowly move myself against him, relishing in the way that Christian feels inside of me without a barrier between us. And by the look of Christian's face he is doing the same thing. His head is back against the car seat, his eyes are closed but the tightness of his jaw gives him away. With his hands still tight on my hips, I grip his shoulders and begin to move faster against him. Forgetting where we are in the moment, our moans and heavy breathing take over as we both race towards our release. Christian's lips find mine just as he teases my clit, pushing me over the edge. My own release triggers Christian's and for the first time he empties himself into me.

"Holy shit Ana…" Christian's head falls back against the seat as mine falls onto his shoulder.

"That was…."

"Yeah."

I don't know how long we stay like that; it could have been minutes or hours passing by before Christian gently slides me off of his lap. He grabs some tissues before pushing my dress aside so he can wipe away the evidence of what we just did. I blush at the intimate act, but Christian just chuckles before pulling me close to him again.

"Are you ready to head back to the hotel?" he asks.

"Yes," I blush even further realizing that we've made Sawyer and Taylor drive around the city for who knows how long while we had sex in the back seat. I suddenly feel like two teenagers who couldn't wait to get home before making out.

"Taylor, back to the hotel please."

"I can't believe we just did that," I giggle.

The drive back to the hotel is quick, although I can't help but feel awkward in the elevator with Taylor and Sawyer fully aware that they know exactly what was going on in the backseat of the car when Christian told them to drive around instead of going back to the hotel. Thankfully, neither of them say anything nor do they look at us differently. Christian on the other hand doesn't seem to look uncomfortable at all. He holds me against him, my back to his chest, as we wait to reach the top floor. Once we finally do, Sawyer checks over our room before we enter.

I wake up the next morning deliciously sore; I can't remember the last time I woke up feeling this way. Once we got back to the hotel last night, we took a shower together which ended with us having round two in the bedroom. Christian woke me up sometime during the night for round three, after which I think exhaustion just took over because I was dead to the world until I heard the alarm on his phone going off a few minutes ago.

"Good Morning," Christian greets me with a kiss before sliding out of bed.

"Why are we up so early?" I groan, stretching my sore muscles.

"I have a few meetings scheduled this morning, but you can stay in bed all day if you want."

"No, I think I'm going to get up and head to the university-"

"The university?"

"When you mentioned possibly staying another day this weekend, I started looking into the classes and programs that Washington University offers. They have several online programs that I was thinking of looking into. Since they're all online I wouldn't have to worry about driving back and forth to campus or attending classes that might interfere with things you need me to attend with you."

"That's a great idea! What are you thinking of taking?"

"Don't laugh," I warn. "I'm thinking of taking a few business courses."

"Really?"

"I never considered the business end of things before, but now that I…own Sweet Dreams I see everything differently. I always wanted to open my own bakery but I had just assumed I would only need a culinary degree to do that. As I get into everything with Ginny and Mr. Donnelly I realized how much I really don't understand about the business aspect of things. I don't know if I'm going to enroll in a business degree program necessarily but I at least want to take a few classes."

"That's a really smart idea Ana. If I can help you at all or if you want to talk to anyone else at GEH just let me know and I will arrange it."

"Thank you Christian, I appreciate that."

"I'll text Taylor and have him arrange for transportation-"

"Oh, I forgot that you and Taylor would have the car today. Don't worry about it, I'll visit the campus another time."

"Nonsense Ana. Taylor has a string of car dealerships that we have worked with over the years, I'm sure one of them will have a car delivered to the hotel within the hour. We're here today, the timing is perfect for you to go to the campus."

"Thanks Christian."

"If you decide to enroll today, you have the credit card to pay the bill right?"

"Ummmm"

"Where's the credit card Ana?"

"Back at Escala."

"Why?"

"I didn't think I would need it. I only bring it with me when I think I'm going to need it for something."

"Have you used it since we returned from Fiji?"

"No…"

"Ana," he runs his fingers through his hair in obvious frustration. "I want you to start using the credit card. I know you've purchased things since we've been back-"

"The agreement was you would pay for expenses related to events that we attend, which you have. The dress I wore last night was billed to your account when I picked it out."

"But-"

"No, that was the agreement. I'm not using your credit card to buy lunch or a cup of coffee or things like that."

"You could."

"I'm sure I could, but I won't. I'm not going to spend your money on things that I can pay for."

"Fine," he sighs.

"Christian….I just don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of….our situation or of you. I'll use your card when I need to, but otherwise I will use my money."

"Here," he pulls the black American Express card from his wallet and hands it to me. "Pay the bill with this if you decide to enroll today. If for some reason the bill isn't ready today, have them send it to Escala and I will take care of it as soon as it arrives."

"Thank you Christian," I stand on my toes to kiss him and he immediately wraps his arms around my waist pulling me against him. I'm not sure why Christian feels the need for me to spend his money or why he doesn't understand that I don't need or want him to pay for everything for me. I have a good amount of money in my bank account from Elena plus I'm starting to draw pay from the bakery so it's not like I'm completely broke.

"I'm not sure what time I'll be back to the hotel, but maybe we can have dinner tonight?"

"Sure, sounds good."

"I'll text you once I know the time. Stay with Sawyer today; I don't expect any issues with the press but it wouldn't surprise me if they popped up."

"I will. You too….stay with Taylor I mean."

"I need to grab a shower or I'll never get to my meeting. I would invite you in, but then I'll definitely be late."

"Go…I'll shower when you're done."

"Oh…can you order some breakfast from room service?"

I order breakfast for us before starting up my laptop; I had brought it with me not knowing if I would have time this weekend to work on a few things for the bakery but seeing as Christian is going to be busy most of the day today I'm glad I did bring it. I check the usual gossip websites to see if anything from last night was posted:

 ** _Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey make their first public appearance!  
_** _We've been waiting since the announcement of their marriage two weeks ago and finally we got our wish! The new Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey stepped out last night to attend a benefit supporting Second Chances, an organization that provides assistance to victims of domestic violence. Upon their arrival, Mr. Grey stated that marriage was everything he imagined it would be, leaving our reporter speechless._

 ** _Has Mr. Grey finally found the woman who can tame him?_** _  
The newly married Mr. and Mrs. Grey finally made their first public appearance together last night at a charity benefit dinner which we are told raised more than $250,000. According to our sources, Mr. Grey couldn't keep him eyes off his beautiful wife the entire evening! Another source reveals that the newlyweds danced several songs together on the dance floor, at one point not even noticing that they were the only two left on the dance floor! Has Christian Grey finally found a woman that he can keep happy? Have we finally seen the last of Seattle's famous billionaire playboy? Only time will tell if Mr. Grey can keep his wife happy or if she will end up running like all the other women in his life._

 ** _Christian Grey is in love…..  
_** _According to several sources in attendance at a charity dinner last night, the love between the newlyweds was obvious to even a perfect stranger. Our sources reveal that the new couple couldn't keep their eyes or hands off of each other. "They were constantly holding hands, stealing kisses and staring at the other when they thought one wasn't looking" a source close to the event shared with us. "I've never seen two people more in love," shares another source. Never did we think we would hear someone say that Christian Grey, Seattle's infamous playboy, was married and happily in love._

"Anything interesting going on in the world this morning?" Christian asks.

"I was just checking the gossip sites-"

"What did they say now?" he grumbles obviously expecting the worst.

"Actually, it's all very positive – at least everything that I have found this far has been."

"Really?"

"It sounds like at least a few people who attended the dinner last night spoke to the press off the record about us, but it was all favorable."

"Thank goodness."

"I told you not to worry."

"Let's hope the positive press stays this way; they haven't brought up anything negative about GEH in the last couple of months. I don't know if they're waiting for the other shoe to drop or if I am."


	60. Chapter 60

_Author's Note: I hope those of you in the Northeast US with me have finally dug out from all the snow we received this weekend! For those who don't know, we had more than 30 inches of snow fall in less than a 24 hour period (at least where I live), breaking all sorts of records. While my kids loved the snow, I am counting down the days until spring!_

 **Chpt. 60 APOV:**

"Are you ready to go Ana?" Sawyer greets me at the door.

"Yes, I just need to grab my purse. Thank you for arranging the rental car at the last minute, Sawyer."

"It wasn't a problem, the dealership is always more than happy to accommodate any of Mr. Grey's requests. I also arranged a meeting with the admissions department at the university so you won't have to wait until someone is available."

"Wow, thank you Sawyer. I appreciate that."

"We should leave in the next few minutes so we are not late," Sawyer stammers, I think a little uncomfortable with the attention.

"I'm ready," I grab my bag and follow him to the elevator.

Being back on a college campus is surreal. Although I've never been to this campus, I think most college students would agree that almost all college campuses are similar in some ways. There's overcrowded parking lots, tall brick buildings and students running around carrying book bags that obviously weigh too much. As we walk up from the parking lot towards the admissions building, I'm reminded of my time at NYU and how close I was to obtaining my degree. Even though I'm no longer interested in publishing, I still would have liked to have earned that degree. To be able to prove everyone who said I couldn't do it wrong. To prove to myself that I was smart enough, good enough, to graduate from college.

I wish things had turned out differently; that I wasn't forced to drop out during my last year of college. I can't help but wonder how things might have been different if I never lost that scholarship or if I had to lose it, that I would have been able to find a loan or something to cover the outstanding balance. Maybe things wouldn't have been too different even if I had somehow found a way to stay in school that last year and actually graduate with my degree. I probably would have had to return to _her_ home after graduation since I probably wouldn't have found a job right away. I probably would have ended up waitressing at that stupid restaurant where I met _him_. I probably would have been so desperate to get out of that house that I would have believed anything _he_ said when he asked me to move in with him despite only knowing each other for less than two months.

"The dean will be ready to meet with you shortly," Sawyer pulls me from my thoughts.

"The dean? I thought I was meeting with someone from admissions?"

"I think once they heard who the appointment was for the dean made himself available to meet with you."

"Why would he do that?"

"Mr. Grey provides significant funding to many projects at the university-"

"Oh that's right…..surely the dean must have other things to do though?"

"I'm sure he does," Sawyer chuckles. "But, a meeting with one of the top contributors to the university's wives will take precedent over anything else."

"Mrs. Grey?"

"Mr. Jacboson, it's nice to see you again," I shake his offered hand, remembering him from the first event that I attended with Christian. It feels like a lifetime ago that I first accompanied him to his parent's house for the Coping Together Gala. I can't believe how things have changed since then.

"If you'll follow me I have a room set up that we can meet in," he leads me down the hallway which Sawyer trailing behind us. When we reach the room Sawyer looks at me questioningly; I nod to him indicating that I will be okay meeting with Mr. Jacobson alone.

"I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet with me today Mr. Jacobson. I'm sorry that you had to go through so much trouble on my behalf. I could have easily met with the one of the admissions counselors-"

"Nonsense, Mrs. Grey. It was no trouble at all. I was very surprised when I was notified that you were interested in attending our university."

"I recently took over a thriving small business and have found that I am a little out of my realm. I thought it would be helpful to take a few business courses to help me as I navigate this new adventure."

"I'm glad that you recognize where your weaknesses are. Too many young people these days are too confident or embarrassed to ask for help. We have several business degree programs available to our students, including several master's level programs. Tell me what you're interested in."

"Several years ago I attended NYU-"

"Wonderful school; very impressive reputation."

"I completed three years towards a degree in English Literature before losing one of scholarships that I had received. I didn't lose it because of my grades, the organization that had awarded me the scholarship unexpectedly lost their funding which cut my scholarship short my final year."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Thank you. Unfortunately by the time I learned of the funding issue, the deadline for student loan applications had already passed."

"You were forced to drop out."

"Unfortunately. It's always been a dream of mine to return and finish my degree. Although I enjoyed English Literature greatly, this is no longer an area I want to focus on. I don't know that I'm looking to complete another degree program or if I just want to take a few classes."

We spend the next hour talking about the different options the university has to offer and by the end I surprise myself by deciding to enroll in a degree completion program focusing on business administration. Mr. Jacobson is confident that many of my classes will be able to transfer from NYU which only leaves the business classes that will need to be completed. Thankfully I will be able to complete all of these classes online which will enable me to work around the needs of the bakery and the different events that I need to attend with Christian. By the end of our meeting, I have gathered the necessary paperwork that needs to be completed to begin classes at the start of the next semester.

Walking back to the car with Sawyer, I feel more at ease than I did when I arrived. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel like even though I only met with the dean and started the admissions process today, I feel like I'm moving towards something. I'm finally going to be able to return to college; something I promised myself I would do when I left _him_. This was my entire reason for agreeing to Elena's offer when she first approached me so many months ago. I wanted to turn my life around and I knew to do that I needed a college degree or at training in a skill that is needed in the job industry.

I never saw myself earning a degree in business administration however now that I own the bakery I see this as necessary. In the last couple of weeks, I've been looking at things at the bakery differently. I was naïve in the past to think running a bakery was all about recipes and how good everything tasted. I had no idea how much book keeping was involved. Over the last few weeks I've learned more about book keeping, budgeting, payroll and supply ordering than I ever thought I would. And surprisingly I've enjoyed it. I've started to jot ideas down that I've had about ways to improve the bakery, but I want to feel a little more solid on my feet before I start anything too big.

Once I get back to the hotel room, I call Ginny to check in on how things are going with the bakery. I'm surprised that Ginny has taken it very easy that I'm now the owner of the bakery and essentially her boss. I think she has taken it much easier than I have. I still feel nervous asking her questions because I don't want her to think that I'm questioning how she did things or why she did things a certain way. But, I also know that I wouldn't understand half as much as I do without Ginny. I'm thankful to hear that Mia did very well today; Ginny said she caught on quickly and that the customers loved her bubbly personality. I was so relieved to hear that; I didn't want things to be awkward between me and Mia if Ginny had said things weren't working out with her. I'm trying not to let myself think too far ahead, but I like the idea of having someone I can trust completely at the bakery once Ginny begins to take more time off and eventually when she moves. With the press still hounding me I can't spend as much time in the front of the bakery as I would like. Plus I'm sure there will be more business trips like this one that Christian will need me to attend with him that would limit my time at the bakery. If Mia was there I would feel much more secure in not having Ginny on site. I know many of the girls working at the bakery, but not enough that I would trust them to run the place when I was gone for a couple of days. Mia though I would be comfortable once she started working there more often.

Ginny was so impressed by Mia that she suggested we add Mia to the schedule starting next week. I warned Ginny before leaving for this trip that I didn't want Mia to receive any special treatment and that I needed her to be honest in Mia's work performance. I didn't want the fact that Mia was my sister in law to influence Ginny's opinion of her work performance. Thankfully Ginny is more of a straight shooter; I don't think she could hide what she was thinking even if she felt she should.

After hanging up the phone with Ginny, I decide to take a nap, realizing I'm much more tired than I thought I would be. I blush remembering all the reasons I am so tired starting with the drive back to the hotel after the charity dinner last night.

 _** Trigger warning **_

 _"I should have known you would end up back here. I knew you wouldn't be able to finish that degree. You're not smart enough for that! And really, Ana….English literature? What the hell were you thinking? What did you expect to do with a degree like that? No wonder your crawling back here needing a place to stay!"_

 _"It's not my fault-"_

 _"Oh of course it's not your fault! Nothing is your fault is it?"_

 _"My scholarship-"_

 _"Perhaps you shouldn't have relied so heavily on one source for your tuition. You should have saved your money from your on campus job. Where did that money go anyway? I bet you partied it away just like your mother used to do with her paychecks. You're just like her you know."_

 _"I paid for my books-"_

 _"Don't lie to me!" Slap "There's no way that your books cost that much money! Admit it! You spent your money on drinking and partying. I bet you even used drugs when you were at school!"_

 _"No! I would never touch that stuff!"_

 _"Ha! Your mother said the same thing!"_

 _"I didn't-"_

 _"Take your shit upstairs. First thing tomorrow morning I want you out finding a job. I'm not going to support your lazy ass any longer! I should never have answered the phone when you called. I knew the only reason you would be calling me after three years was to tell me you fucked up and needed something. I was surprised you didn't call me sooner. I never expected you to get through the first semester."_

 _"I….I…."_

 _"Shut up! Go to your room. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night. Remember, now that you're over 18 I am not legally obligated to take care of you any longer. I could easily throw you out on the streets right now and no one would be able to stop me. You would be forced to live at a homeless shelter. You should be thankful that I'm allowing you to stay as it is."_

 _"Yes….grandmother. I appreciate-"_

 _"GO!"_

 _** End Trigger Warning **_

"Ana! ANA!"

I hear Sawyer's voice calling me from the main sitting room as I wake up from my nightmare. I take a deep breath trying to calm my nerves before greeting Sawyer.

"Is everything okay Ana?"

"I fell asleep, what's wrong?"

"Mr. Grey has been trying to reach you and says you haven't answered your phone-"

"Shit! I bet it's dead. I never charged it after dinner last night. Was everything okay?"

"He wanted to request your presence at dinner tonight with some of his local management team. If you are able to, he would like you meet him downstairs at the restaurant at five o'clock. Would you like me to respond to Mr. Grey?"

"Yes, thank you Sawyer. Please let Christian know that I will meet him for dinner tonight and if you wouldn't mind, let him know the reason I didn't answer my phone. I will put it on the charger right now and start to get ready for dinner."

"Very well Ana. I'll meet you to escort you downstairs for dinner just before five."

"Thank you Sawyer."

I grab my phone from my purse and quickly confirm what I assumed, it's completely dead and won't even turn on. I put it on the charger before getting ready for dinner. I have just over an hour before Christian wants to meet me downstairs which thankfully is plenty of time to get ready. I didn't bring very much with me but I did bring a cocktail dress that will work perfectly for dinner tonight.

"Are you ready Ana?" Sawyer greets me at the door just before five o'clock as we arranged.

"Just need to grab my phone off the charger," I run into the bedroom, grab my phone before tossing it into my purse.

"Thank you for meeting me for dinner Ana," Christian greets me as soon as the elevator doors open.

"Sorry about the phone issue, I completely forgot to put it on the charger last night after the dinner."

"You must have been a little distracted," he winks. "Although I can't imagine why."

"I bet you can't," I tease back.

"You look beautiful by the way," he kisses me gently on the lips before wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Thank you."

"This isn't anything big, just a couple of people from the local office. They've had a very successful couple of months so much that the progress I saw today exceeded my expectations. I wanted to treat everyone to dinner in appreciation of their hard work over the last couple of months that made this progress possible. Come, everyone was just seated in the back."

A few minutes later I'm introduced to several of Christian's local management team before sitting next to Christian. Most of the talk over dinner surrounds business which is expected, so there isn't much for me to talk about. Christian makes it a point to involve me in conversations when possible, but for the most part I stay quiet and try to follow what everyone is saying just in case someone asks my opinion on something. With the conversation focused on financial trends, I take a moment to check my phone which I have felt vibrating in my purse since I sat down. I'm expecting missed calls, voice mails and probably a couple of texts from Christian from when I was sleeping. In addition to those notifications, I see that I have received several text messages from a blocked number. My stomach suddenly drops as I remember the text I received last night as we left the charity dinner. I had completely forgotten about the text message when Christian started kissing me last night.

 _Have you found out your husband's secrets?_

 _You're never going to be good enough for him._

 _You will never be able to meet his needs._

 _He's hiding things from you, from everyone…things he wants no one to know._

 _You should ask him why everyone runs from him._

 _You're not like the others. You aren't good enough for him. You'll never be good enough for him._

 _Ask him what he's hiding._

 _Ask him about The Blue Moon._

 _He's never taken you there has he? And he won't….because you're not good enough for him._

I put the phone back into my purse, not wanting to see the text messages from the blocked number any longer. I try to focus on the conversations going on around me but I can't stop thinking about the text messages. Whoever is sending them seems to know Christian; at least on some degree and especially more than some reporter might. After meeting Christian to discuss the arrangement with Elena, I had researched him online eager to know what type of image he needed to change with the press. There were many articles written insinuating that Christian was hiding something which was the reason he was pictured with so many different women. At that time I hadn't given it much thought, assuming it was just the press trying to stir things up. And since then, I haven't given it a second thought. I like to think that I know Christian fairly well, especially after living with him for so long, but these text messages have me questioning everything I think I know about Christian.

What is the Blue Moon that the sender is referring to? Why are they implying that I'm not good enough to go there? Or good enough in general for Christian? What could someone who knows Christian possibly know about me?

"Everything okay?" Christian whispers during a lull in the conversation.

"Fine," I lie.

"Gentleman, thank you for your time today and for sharing your evening with me," he says after giving me a look which tells me he knows I'm lying. "Each of you have played a fundamental part in the success over the last several months; success that would not be possible without your hard work, long hours and dedication. I look forward to coming back in the near future to learn the status of the items we identified in our meetings this afternoon. Thank you."

Christian takes my hand, leading me out of the restaurant to where Taylor is waiting for us in the lobby of the hotel. He wraps his arm around my waist and I lean against him as we wait for the elevator to arrive.

"Ana what's going on? Is everything okay?" he asks as soon as the elevator door closes.

"Its fine," I look from Christian to Taylor trying to convey that I don't want to discuss it right now.

"Something is wrong. Your demeanor changed at dinner."

"Can we discuss this later?"

"Fine."

I can tell he isn't happy, but I am not going to have this conversation in front of Taylor or in the middle of an elevator when anyone could walk in. Plus, I still don't even know what to say to Christian. I can't stop the last text that I saw from repeating over and over again in my head: _you're not good enough for him._ How could a complete stranger pick up on my biggest fear? I've known from the moment that I met Christian on the sidewalk in the rain storm that we were from different worlds. Something I've tried to ignore over the last few months. And then there's the previous texts which imply Christian is hiding something. What could he possibly be hiding? We've been living together for more than a month now, plus we spent every day together in Fiji. What could he possibly be hiding that I don't know about? Does it have to do with the Blue Moon….whatever that is?

"Okay Ana….we're alone now. What's going on? Did something happen while we were at diner? What didn't you want to discuss in front of Taylor?" He fires off the question before our hotel room door is even completely closed.

"What is The Blue Moon?" It seems better to try to be more specific rather than just asking what he's hiding.

"Wh….what?" He stutters and his face goes completely pale. My stomach drops at the site which only confirms what the text message said: Christian was hiding something from me.

"What is The Blue Moon?"

"What….How did you hear about that?"

"When I turned my phone back on today I received a number of text messages from a blocked number. They implied you were hiding something and told me to ask you about The Blue Moon. What is it Christian?"

"It's nothing," he pulls his phone from his pocket and immediately starts typing away. "I need to get a hold of Taylor and Welch to find out who is sending you these text messages. They should be able to trace the number the texts were sent from-"

"Christian, stop," I interrupt him. "Don't go into CEO mode with me now. What is going on? Why are you so frazzled at the mention of The Blue Moon?"

"I'm not-"

"You are."

"It's nothing."

"That's not true and you know it."

"It's nothing. Drop it Ana."

"So the person who sent the text is right you are hiding something from me."

"It's not important Ana. Drop it."

"Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

"Because…."

"Because why?"

"Because….I don't want to lose what we have over this."

"So you get to know my secrets, my past, but I don't get to know yours?"

"Not about this, no."

"Okay," I shake my head and walk towards the spare bedroom in the suite. The one that until now has been used only for Christian to work in before the dinner last night. I'm fuming….I'm pissed that he doesn't trust me enough to tell me about this despite everything I've shared with him. After everything….how can he not trust me?

"Where are you going?"

"To bed."

"Ana-"

"Don't Christian," my hand is on the door of the spare bedroom but I don't turn around to look at him. I can't let him see the tears that are threatening to fall.

"I don't want to fuck this up Ana; I can't….I need you …"

Ah….right. Our arrangement.

"Don't worry Christian….I won't go back on our arrangement. I'll accompany you to wherever you need me to go…I'll do whatever you want to change how the press views you. This doesn't change our that."

"Fuck the arrangement Ana! That's not what I meant!"

"Then what did you mean?" I turn to look at him, confused by his words. His hair is a mess, no doubt because he's been running his hands through it for the last few minutes. "Why won't you tell me about The Blue Moon?"

"Because Ana!"

"Because why?"

"Because I don't want to lose you. And not because of the God damn arrangement."

"Then why then?" my voice is barely above a whisper; I'm scared to know what his response will be.

"Because I fucking love you."

 _Author's Note 2: After reading through several of the reviews on this chapter, I felt I needed to clarify something. A few of you are wondering (and asking) about The Blue Moon. This is not something newly introduced in this chapter. If you're bored, look back through the story, especially early on. There are many references to "the club" and at one point the club is mentioned by name. Thank you all for your continued reviews; i love reading the feedback on the last sentence of this chapter!_


	61. Chapter 61

_Author's Note: I am blown away by the response to the last chapter! I am so thankful for your support with this story! I had so many conflicting ideas when it came to getting Christian to finally admit he loves Ana that I was afraid I wouldn't do the story justice. I finally decided that the Christian in my story would likely just blurt it out in the heat of a moment rather than in some grand, romantic fashion. I loved not only reading all of your reactions to him saying those 3 little words, but also reading your theories as to who is sending the text messages to Ana. Some people commented about how she should respond back to the texter, but since it's a blocked number she can't hit reply and send a message._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 61 CPOV:**

"What is The Blue Moon?"

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! How the fuck does she know about that?

"Wh….what?"

"What is The Blue Moon?"

"What….How did you hear about that?"

She can't find out about that. How the fuck did she know to ask me about that? I haven't been there in months; I ended my membership as soon as she signed the prenup. There's no way she could have found out about the club on her own.

"When I turned my phone back on today I received a number of text messages from a blocked number. They implied you were hiding something and told me to ask you about The Blue Moon. What is it Christian?"

"It's nothing," Who the fuck is texting her? Who the fuck could get her number? Who would violate the NDA that the club makes you sign before your membership is approved? "I need to get a hold of Taylor and Welch to find out who is sending you these text messages. They should be able to trace the number the texts were sent from-"

"Christian, stop. Don't go into CEO mode with me now. What is going on? Why are you so frazzled at the mention of The Blue Moon?"

"I'm not-"

"You are."

"It's nothing." She can't find out about this.

"That's not true and you know it."

"It's nothing. Drop it Ana."

"So the person who sent the text is right you are hiding something from me."

"It's not important Ana. Drop it." FUCK. This is going to ruin everything; I can't tell her about The Blue Moon. I can't let that place ruin what we have; I can't let my past come between us even more. Why isn't she just letting this go? Why is she is insistent that I tell her about the club?

"Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

"Because…." Fuck…I'm screwed.

"Because why?"

"Because….I don't want to lose what we have over this." I can't….I can't lose her. Not over this. I need her too much; I can't-

"So you get to know my secrets, my past, but I don't get to know yours?"

"Not about this, no." She needs to fucking drop it. Why won't she let this go?

"Okay," I breathe a sigh of relief until I look up and see that she is walking towards the spare bedroom in our suite. Suddenly I start panicking thinking she is going to leave; that she's going to walk away from me right now. We haven't slept apart since that one night in Fiji after Ana overheard my session with Flynn. I love falling asleep next to her and waking up with my arms wrapped around her every morning. I love the way her soft body feels against mine. What surprises me the most is that I love the rare occasions when I wake up and find her hand on my chest. It doesn't happen too often, but every so often it does. Those are the mornings I just lay there in disbelief because she is the only person who has touched my chest without causing me pain. I'm not sure what to make of it; I petrified to try it while we're awake because I think it only doesn't hurt because I know in her sleep Ana can't hurt me. What if I lash out at her and hurt her? I never thought I would be able to sleep next to a woman; the thought of Ana not in my bed next to me tonight….I can't go back to that.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed."

"Ana-"

"Don't Christian," her head is down but she is still facing the door. She doesn't want to look at me. Doesn't she realize that this is why I don't want to tell her about The Blue Moon? I don't want her to look at me differently. Why can't she see that?

"I don't want to fuck this up Ana; I can't….I need you …"

I don't know how to tell her how much I need her; how much she matters to me. She has changed my life in so many ways since I first met her that day on the side walk. I look forward to coming home after work now just to see her. I no longer stay in the office until nine or ten o'clock at night working; instead I make every effort to get home in time to have dinner with Ana. Unless it's necessary, I don't spend hours working at home after dinner, only crawling into bed in the wee hours of the morning. Most nights, Ana and I go to sleep together. The penthouse…hell my entire life…is different with Ana. It doesn't feel so cold and empty any longer.

"Don't worry Christian….I won't go back on our arrangement. I'll accompany you to wherever you need me to go…I'll do whatever you want to change how the press views you. This doesn't change that."

"Fuck the arrangement Ana! That's not what I meant!"

Does she really think that's all I care about right now? Can't she see that she means more to me than the fucking PR arrangement? I could fucking care less about the damn press right now!

"Then what did you mean? Why won't you tell me about The Blue Moon?"

"Because Ana!"

I can't tell her….I can't

"Because why?"

"Because I don't want to lose you. And not because of the God damn arrangement."

"Then why?"

"Because I fucking love you."

FUCK….I can't believe I said that. I swore I wouldn't open myself up like that again, that if I didn't admit to anyone how I felt than the risk wouldn't be there. I just ruined everything! She doesn't feel the same way-

"I love you too, but that doesn't mean you get to keep secrets from me! If you can't trust me enough to tell me-"

"What did you say?"

I'm in front of her in two quick steps, needing to be closer to her when she says what I think she just said. I couldn't have heard her correctly; she couldn't have said what I think she just said. She couldn't possibly love me…she can't.

"I love you but-"

I turn her around so quickly she gasps in surprise just before my lips are on hers. I don't give her a chance to say anything else. I don't want to talk about anything else right now; if we continue talking she might change her mind. She might finally realize that I'm not the man that she deserves; that I'm not good enough for her. Her body immediately relaxes against mine when I pull her closer to me; her fingers comb through my hair as she opens herself to me. Desperate for this to not end, I urge her to move backwards, towards the bed that is on the other side of the door. With her back firm against the door, I take my time exploring her body, feeling each of her curves beneath the sexy dress she is wearing. Needing to feel more of her, I reach for the door knob but the moment she senses what I'm doing she pulls back.

"No," she pants, her breathing still heavy.

"I want to make love to you," I've never said those words to anyone other than Ana. I've never heard the desperation in my voice that is there right now. I've never _needed_ someone as much as I need Ana right now. I'm not good at expressing how I feel with words; this is the only way I know I can show her how I feel about her.

"No."

"No?"

FUCK…she's never stopped me before. She's never said no before-

"If you can't trust me enough to tell me what's going on-"

"You think I don't trust you?"

How can she think that? Doesn't she know that I trust her more than I've ever trusted anyone before? Doesn't she realize that I don't want to tell her because I don't want to her hurt her? Because I know once she hears about The Blue Moon she is going to want to leave me. This isn't about trust, this is about me not wanting to lose the woman who somehow over the last few months has managed to turn my life completely upside down and break down every protective wall that I put up.

"It's fine Christian if you don't trust me. I mean, I get that we've only known each other for a few months now. I trust you completely, but if don't-"

"Fuck Ana. This isn't about not trusting you," I lift her chin to get her to look at me but her eyes remain down. I can see the tears she is trying to keep from falling and I realize that she truly does believe that I'm not telling her about the club because I don't trust her. FUCK…I didn't want to hurt her! Can't she see that I'm only trying to protect her? Why is it I keep fucking this up? I need to fix this before I fuck things up even more. I'm going to have to tell her about The Blue Moon and hope to hell that she doesn't leave me because of it. I can't have her continuing to think that I don't trust her; she needs to know that I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust her. I need to show her that I trust her and I can think of only one way to do that.

"Ana," I take a deep breath, slowly letting it out as I reach between us for her hand which at some point has dropped to her side. I squeeze her hand, reminding myself that Ana won't hurt me, before I bring her hand between us and place it palm down against my chest directly over the area I know has a cluster of several scars.

"Christian!" She gasps and tries to pull her hand a way but I hold it firmly against me.

My eyes are closed and my body is tense as it waits for the pain to hit, but it never does. Having Ana touch my chest isn't painful, although it's still somewhat uncomfortable. It feels different from when I wake up with her hand on my chest, but it's not intolerable. I slowly take a breath in when I realize I haven't started breathing since I placed Ana's hand on my chest.

"I trust you Ana," Opening my eyes, I immediately find her blue ones staring back at me. A single tear falls from her eye; I don't know for certain but I'm hoping it's because she finally believes me. "I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my entire life. Not wanting to tell you about The Blue Moon has nothing to do with not trusting you. I love you Ana, I don't want to lose you. That's why I don't want to tell you about that place-"

"I'm yours Christian," she places her lips softly against mine, her eyes never leaving mine. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you because of whatever this place to you. You're not going to lose me, Christian."

"You can't say that Ana, you don't know-"

"I know the man you are Christian. You're a good man, who is kind, generous, loving and caring man-"

"I'm not-"

"You are Christian. And that's the man that I fell in love with even though I fought like hell against it. There's nothing you can tell me that is going to make me stop loving you. I'm not going to leave you. I'm yours Christian; I've been yours I think since the moment we met."

"Ana…"

Well fuck…It was only a few minutes ago that I was doubting that she felt the same way I do about her and here she is telling me-

"Please Christian…just tell me whatever it is you need to tell me so we can move passed this. I promise you it's not going to change things between us. I just don't want secrets between us. I don't want whoever this person is to know you better than I do-"

"No one knows me like you do Ana. No one." With her hand still on my chest, I lean down and kiss her again hoping like hell that it isn't the last time. She says nothing I can tell her will change things, but she doesn't know about The Blue Moon yet. I don't want to tell her, but I can't stand the thought of hurting her or having her doubt that I trust her. Trust has been such an issue for both of us but I think more so for Ana given how much her trust was broken in the past. "Come, let's sit on the couch."

Holding Ana's hand, I lead her away from the bedroom door and over to the couch in the sitting area of the suite. Once she is seated, I pour us both a glass of wine from the bottle that, at my request, the hotel had chilled before we arrived. I take a large gulp of wine before sitting on the couch next to Ana.

"You already know that before…that things with other women…were different. You were the first woman I've ever made love to, the first woman I've ever slept with that didn't have their hands restrained. I've never trusted anyone, the way I trust you Ana. With any other woman I was with I had to restrain their hands; it was the only way…that I could be with someone. Finding women who were okay with this was more difficult than you could imagine. Some women slapped me when I suggested it, others looked at me with disgust and a few even told me I was sick-"

"Christian-"

"When I was at Harvard, I met a woman in a bar who…introduced me to a lifestyle where restraining women was acceptable and actually expected-"

"BDSM."

"Yes….how...?"

Wow…did not expect her to say that; hell I figured she wouldn't have any idea what BDSM was. I assumed I would have to explain the lifestyle to her but now I'm wondering what misconceptions she might have about the lifestyle. If she knows what BDSM is how is she not running out the door yet?

"I've read books," she blushes a deep shade of red as she admits this. "All the girls at the bakery were talking about these books a year or so ago that were apparently pretty popular so I checked them out at the library to see what all the fuss was about."

"And?"

"I assume that's the lifestyle you were referring to that this woman introduced you to, right? At least from what I read, granted it was in a book, but it seemed like bondage is a big part of the lifestyle right?"

"Yes it is. It's one aspect of the lifestyle."

"So you're a dom?"

"I _was_ a dom," I put the emphasis on was; this was my past and not who I am with Ana. "The woman I met while I was at Harvard introduced me to BDSM and after learning more about the lifestyle I realized it was the answer I was looking for. I could restrain women while fucking them without having to worry that a woman would tell me I was sick, disgusting or perverted because I _needed_ her restrained."

"And the other parts of the lifestyle? How….involved were you in those areas?" She drops her eyes as she asks the question; I can only imagine what she is thinking right now.

"People enjoy various aspects of BDSM; some enjoy a 24/7 total power exchange arrangement while others, like myself, only practice the lifestyle while in a scene. My first attraction to BDSM was bondage, but as I learned about it further, domination and submission definitely became perks to the lifestyle. As you know, I like control…it makes me what good at what I do; it's what has made GEH the success that it is today. That part of the lifestyle came easy to me; it felt natural to control the scene, to plan exactly what would happen and when."

"I could see that," she admits.

"There are some aspects of the lifestyle that didn't appeal to me. Some doms and subs enjoy a great deal of pain during a scene; some even _need_ it to become aroused and even to get off. That part wasn't for me. A certain level of discomfort might be expected in a scene, but I couldn't go beyond discomfort."

"So how does The Blue Moon fit into all of this? I assume this….it's a BDSM club or something?"

"Initially I first visited BDSM clubs in the city, but as GEH became successful, I couldn't risk the public finding out about the type of lifestyle I led in private. I had a bedroom turned into an area where I could practice this lifestyle in the privacy of my own place. I didn't have to worry about others seeing me or the press finding out what I was doing."

"You had a room at Escala….? It's not the room I stayed is-"

"No! I never….never at Escala. This was in the condo I had before I bought the penthouse at Escala."

"Is that how you met Katherine?"

"Yes," I sigh in admission. "She was a sub that I had been introduced to through a mutual acquaintance. When….remember when I told you Gail had found the thumb drive that she had hidden in the bedroom?" Ana nods in response. "Among other things on it, were pictures… some of were me in that room and others showed the evidence from a scene-"

"Evidence?"

"Red marks on her wrists and ankles from restraints, red marks from….different things. I never broke her skin, never left any permanent damage, but…she liked it rough. We both did. Sometimes…bruises would appear afterwards. She took pictures of those."

"She wanted it to seem like you hurt her."

"Yes. It was another way she was trying to ruin me. People would have assumed that I beat her, that I held her against her will."

"I obviously don't know much, but everything I read was consensual. Both parties had to agree and set limits, right? One book even had a contract drawn up between both people."

"One day I want you to tell me about these books and exactly how many you read," I chuckle trying to ease the conversation a little. "But you're right, BDSM occurs between two consenting adults. Katherine and I had a contract that we developed prior to our first scene. It outlined everything. But…none of it would have mattered if those pictures came out. They would have ruined me. No one would want to work for a man who liked to leave bruises on a woman. No one would want do to business with a man who ties women up for his pleasure. And she knew that; all she would need to do was show the pictures to the press and I would be ruined."

"You really think she did it all for money? I mean, you said her parents were wealthy right? I mean…"

"I think money was a big part of it, but I don't think it was everything. We just haven't been able to find anything else that would have motivated her to do it. She wouldn't give a reason in court when confronted with what she did. Taylor, Welch and Barney all still continue to look for possible connections but nothing has been found yet."

"One day karma will come back to her. She'll get what she deserves for what she did to you."

"Maybe," I can't help but feel a little…gratitude for how Ana feels about Katherine. I don't know why, but I like that Ana hates her because of what she did.

"So….The Blue Moon?"

"Right…so after…everything with Katherine. I moved into Escala and swore that I would never open myself up like that again. I wouldn't trust a woman coming into my home where she could gather evidence to expose me like Katherine did. The BDSM community is a rather tight one; there's only so many people who practice the lifestyle so you get to know others. Another dom invited me to The Blue Moon as his guest one evening. The Blue Moon is a high end, very private, sex club that specializes in alternative life styles. BDSM is one of their most popular attractions, but they also offer a private place for others who enjoy other lifestyles to practice. The clientele is very unique; you cannot simply walk off the street and become a member. You must be invited by another member and you undergo a very strict background check which even includes a financial verification to ensure that you aren't going to blackmail another member. All electronics are collected when you walk in, so there is no chance of any one recording what is going on or taking any pictures."

"Wow…that's intense."

"There are very powerful members who could be ruined if it were found out that they were a member of this type of club. Senators, judges, politicians, businessmen, you name it. People who have everything to lose."

"So you…you were a member there?"

"Yes. I…I would engage in a scene with women at the club because I didn't think there was a risk that they would expose me. I thought the people who were members there would be above that. They would have nothing to gain by exposing me since they would be risking exposing themselves. The annual membership fees of The Blue Moon is most than what people earn in an entire year. I didn't think I needed to worry."

"And….are you….still a member there?" Once again her eyes are on the floor as she asks the question. I lift her chin up so she can look in my eyes when I answer her.

"No Ana. I gave up my membership the morning after you agreed to the prenup. In fact…I've only been there once since I met you that day on the side walk. And even then…I didn't….nothing happened."

"Why not?"

"I couldn't stop thinking of you. None of the women there compared to you. I had a couple of drinks and left."

"So this person who is texting me must know that you were a member there?"

"It seems so. I'm going to have Welch and Taylor look into it and see if they can determine who sent the texts. They correctly assumed you weren't involved in the lifestyle-"

"How would they have known that?"

"Like I said, it's a small community. Unfortunately our society is very close minded when it comes to sex so must people who engage in an alternative lifestyle do it in private. The person who sent the text probably asked around and realized no one knew you which meant it was likely you weren't involved in BDSM."

"They thought I would leave you because of it, just like you thought."

"Yes."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why didn't you want to tell me about this? Did you really think I would leave you because you liked to tie up women when you slept with-"

"Fucked…just fucked Ana."

"Fine…when you fucked them?"

"Ana, honestly I can't imagine why you're not freaking out. I just admitted to you that not only did I used to tie up women to fuck them, but that I controlled them while doing it and at times left marks on them from being so rough. With everything….that happened to you, I'm not sure why you're still sitting here."

"Maybe I would feel differently if I never read those books. I know in the books I read and from what you explained, everything involved consent and trust. If you were sitting here telling me that you did this to women against their wills or caused serious permanent damage I probably wouldn't be sitting here. These women all consented to scene with you and probably enjoyed what you did to them-"

"They did."

"I don't see what the issue is then."

"Really?"

I'm shocked….it couldn't have been this easy. Maybe she just needs to think about it more; maybe she'll feel differently in the morning after she processes everything.

"If you would have told me this the day we first met through Elena, I probably would feel very differently than I do right now. I know you Christian; I know the man that you are and the man who aren't. You like rough, kinky sex, so what? I know you would never hurt me or try to control me the way… _he_ did-"

"Never Ana…I swear I will never hurt you. That's why it bothered me so much…when we…fooled around in my office. I was rough with you then and I swore I would never be like that with you."

"Christian, I told you before – I liked that day in your office," she blushes an adorable shade of pink. "It was really hot. I like when you're gentle and take your time, but there was something about you that day that was incredibly hot. You were so in control, it was like you were so turned on that you demanded what you needed. I liked it."

"So did I," I take her hand in mine and squeeze it. "But I swear to you I will never hurt you."

"I know you won't Christian."

"So you're really okay with all of this?"

"I'm fine Christian, really. It's not that big of a deal."

"God Ana, I don't know what I did in my life to deserve you."

"I ask myself that all the time Christian."

I take our glasses and place them in the kitchen sink, still in complete amazement with how tonight turned out. I expected Ana to end things between us; I was certain she wouldn't understand the consent aspect of BDSM and would think I was like her ex. I don't know what I would do if Ana walked out of my life right now. It's taken me this long to finally discover what real love is, which I've learned is very far from what I felt for Katherine. I realize now that without a shadow of a doubt I never loved _her_ ; I have no idea how I thought that I did but whatever I felt for her was far from love. Now that I've found it, I'm never going to let it go.

"Ana?" I turn around to find Ana's black cocktail dress lying on the floor in the middle of the room. Looking towards the master bedroom, I see her shoes, thong and a black lace bra. Lying in the middle of the bed is Ana, completely naked.

"Make love to me Christian."


	62. Chapter 62

_Author's Note: Wow guys….just wow! More than 5000 reviews for this story! I was stunned when I logged in this morning to see that number climb so high! I am beyond grateful for all of your support to this story. The fact that you each take the time out of your day to not only read my story but to leave reviews and send me PMs continues to amaze me! Thank you so much!_

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 62 CPOV:**

"Make love to me Christian."

After Ana asked me what The Blue Moon was, I never thought I would hear those words out of her mouth again. I thought she would have left, high tailed it right out of our suite and walked out of my life for good. Yet much to my amazement, Ana is lying completely naked in the center of the bed that we shared last night. Not needing her to ask me twice, I quickly kick of my shoes before leaving my clothes on the floor as I walk towards the bed.

"You amaze me Ana," I join her on the bed, lying next to her our bodies barely touching. "I love you."

"I love you too Christian," she places her hand on my cheek. "I was so scared that…."

"What were you scared of baby?"

"That….I was the only one falling in love."

"I thought if I didn't admit how I felt to anyone that it wouldn't be true. I've never felt like this before Ana."

"Me either Christian; what we have…I never knew it could be like this."

Somehow this beautiful woman lying in the bed next to me knows exactly what to say to render me speechless; something that rarely happens to me. Not knowing what to say, I do the only thing that I've wanted to do since she first told me she loved me. My arm snakes around her waist and in one swift move I have her naked body pressed firmly against mine. Her lips immediately find mine; she wraps her leg around my thigh pushing her body further against mine. There is no space between us; nothing separating us. Part of me knows I should take my time, worship her the way she deserves to be worshipped; but right now the only thing I can think about is sinking into her. Even though Ana told me that she understands about that part of my life and that it doesn't bother her, I can't help but worry.

"Christian….I need you."

And just like that my thoughts are pulled back to the beautiful, sexy woman who has somehow managed to break down every wall that I put up. The woman who managed to come into my life in the most unconventional way possible yet who has managed to become my best friend and the first woman I've ever truly fallen in love with.

When my fingers tease her nipples she immediately arches her back, pushing her breasts into my hands perfectly. I gasp when she reaches between us and strokes my dick knowing that it wouldn't take much for me to come right now. It seems when I'm around Ana this is a constant for me; she manages to tear away every ounce of self-control I have. I vow to take my time with Ana next time, to truly worship her body and show her how much I do love her. But right now, I need her as much as she seems to need me.

I tighten my arm around Ana before rolling us over so she is now lying on top of me. Her thighs straddle my hips and my dick rubs against her hot center. I can't keep my hands off of her; I'm overwhelmed with the need to touch her everywhere I can. What's surprising me is the sudden need I have to feel her hands on me; I actually want her to touch me…something that I've never felt before. Her fingers tangle in my hair as her lips find mine, her tongue seeking out my own as she slowly rubs herself against me.

"Ana…." There are so many things I want to say, but the only thing that I can think to say is her name.

I reach between us and guide myself to her opening, moaning when she eagerly presses herself down against me. When she moves to sit up, to ride me, I wrap my arms around her needing to feel her body against mine. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing Ana's beautiful body over mine, but right now…I just need to feel her. She moans against my lips when I start moving against her; her body is squeezing me so incredibly tight that I know I won't last much longer. Every time I pull back, her body tightens around me as if it's trying to hold me in.

"Oh God…." Ana's breathing is heavy at my ear, she's tugging at my hair letting me know how close she is right now.

"Look at me baby."

At my request her eyes immediately find mine; her eyes are filled with hunger, passion and….love. That look alone does me in; my need for a release becomes unbearable.

"Come with me Ana…." I groan as I thrust into her while pulling her down hard on me, the orgasm hitting me the moment her body is against mine.

"Christian!" Her walls clench around my still throbbing dick, sucking the evidence of my orgasm from me as she rocks her body against mine.

Her head falls to my shoulder, her chest is heavy against mine as her body collapses from the strength of her orgasm. Neither of us say anything, instead we just lay there in a comfortable silence as our breathing slowly begins to return to normal. My hands glide over her skin on their own accord; I don't see the need to touch her ever going away. I've never felt like this with anyone else; never had the _need_ to touch someone. I've wanted to touch women; I've desired to touch women, but I've never _needed_ to touch someone like I've needed to touch Ana.

"I love you Christian," she leans up and looks at me.

"I love you too baby," I close the gap between us by pressing her lips against mine.

I sleep soundly with Ana wrapped in my arms; I haven't had a single nightmare since we started sleeping together. The last time I had a nightmare was the last time we slept apart which was in Fiji after Ana walked in on my therapy session with Flynn. I've given up trying to figure out why after nearly a lifetime of daily nightmares that simply sleeping with Ana by myside keeps them away. Where broken sleep was once a regular occurrence, I've come to realize how nice a full night of solid sleep is.

I can't help but think back to the conversation we had on our way to Fiji after the wedding; Ana tried so hard to persuade me to share the bed on the jet with her that night. Even though I thought I was trying to protect Ana from myself, I should have realized that it wasn't just a coincidence that the previous times we shared a bed together that I didn't have a nightmare.

Thinking back to our trip, I think things changed between us then. Things had moved from a business arrangement to a friendship to something more than that far before our wedding. But being in Fiji with Ana for the entire week, just the two of us, brought us even closer than I thought was possible. I'm so glad with the choice to go there for a honeymoon; I think it gave us the privacy that we needed that week. It allowed us to become closer; I don't know that if we didn't go there if we would have been ready to admit how we felt to each other last night. I'm still completely shocked that by Ana's response to how I felt about her and to The Blue Moon. I had convinced myself that it wasn't possible for Ana to love me and that if she ever did find out about The Blue Moon that she would walk away from me the moment I explained with BDSM was.

"You're thinking too hard this morning," Ana grumbles against my shoulder.

Like some of the previous mornings, I woke to find Ana curled up against my side with her hand on the center of my bare chest. It's something that has been happening more often in the last week or so, despite falling asleep with her back against my chest and my arms wrapped around her.

"Oh….sorry," she quickly goes to pull her hand away when she realizes where it is but I grab her wrist to stop her, returning her hand to exactly where it was.

"It doesn't bother me Ana."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It just doesn't."

"Still…I shouldn't," again she tries to move her hand but I hold it in place.

"Ana-"

"Christian…" she sighs. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"But what if it does hurt you one morning?"

"It hasn't yet, so I don't expect it to."

"This time but what about-"

"This isn't the first time."

"What do you mean?"

"I've woken up to you just like this several times now."

"Really?"

"Really."

"And it hasn't bothered you at all? Why didn't you tell me? I could have made sure-"

"I'm not going to lie Ana, the first time I woke up to find your hand resting on my chest it scared the shit out of me-"

"When was that?"

"One morning when we were in Fiji."

"Was that the reason you called your therapist?"

"Yes," I sigh remembering the session that nearly tore us apart. "I was….shocked to say the least when I woke up to find your hand on my chest that morning. In the past whenever someone even accidently brushed against my chest or back, even if I was fully clothed, the pain that I felt was unbearable. I know it doesn't make sense, but when someone would touch my chest it was almost as if I could feel the cigarette burning my skin again."

"Oh Christian…"

"You know, now that I think about it I think it started before that night in Fiji."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when we went to the club with Elliot, Mia and Roz before the wedding?" her face blushes an adorable shade of pink likely remembering what happened in the foyer of the penthouse that day. "Although I don't think you touched my chest, I hadn't even noticed how close you were to touching me until you reached for the second button on my shirt. That has never happened before; I've always been aware of where someone's hands were in relation to my chest and back to ensure that didn't happen."

"I didn't hurt you in when I put my hand on your chest that night?"

"No, which was the reason I scheduled a session with Flynn, my therapist. When I woke up that morning, just like this morning, the fact that you were touching me wasn't the first thing I noticed."

"It wasn't?"

"No. The first thing I noticed was that we had gravitated towards each other during the night and that you were curled up next to me just like you were this morning. It took a few minutes to realize you were touching me and even longer to realize there was no pain associated with your touch. I moved your hand but in a way I wanted to put your hand back to see if it was a fluke."

"And it's happened since then?"

"Yes, several times…more in the last week or so. The first few times I tried to convince myself it didn't bother me because you were sleeping and therefore on some level I must have known that you weren't a threat-"

"Christian-"

"But, eventually I had to convince myself what I've known since the day we met."

"What's that?"

"That you're different from anyone I've ever met. It doesn't hurt when you touch me because I know you won't hurt me, because I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my entire life. I love you Ana, so fucking much."

"I love you too Christian, and I love waking up next to you like this."

"Me too Ana."

An hour passes before we leave the bed; unlike last night I take time to worship every inch of Ana's beautiful body, making sure she comes twice before I sink deep into her. A quick call to room service has breakfast waiting for us by the time we finish in the shower. I was beyond worried that Ana would see things differently this morning, and part of me is still waiting for her to, but like other things between us it seems to have only brought us closer.

"What time are we heading back to Seattle today?"

"We'll leave once we finish breakfast. Sawyer left last night and Taylor was scheduled to leave about an hour ago and will meet us at Escala when we arrive."

"We could have driven back with them."

"We could have, but I love flying Charlie Tango."

"Charlie Tango?"

"That's the helicopter's name."

"I didn't realize you named it."

"They say it's bad luck not to name a boat so I figured it must be bad luck not to name a helicopter."

"Good point," she giggles at my logic.

"No problems with the bakery while we've been away?"

"No, everything has been running fine. Ginny said Mia did a wonderful job and really clicked with a lot of the customers so we are going to put her on the schedule permanently."

"That's great Ana. I'm really glad it worked out well for both of you. Maybe this is what Mia has been looking for."

"Me too. Mia's really nice and so bubbly; I had no doubt she would do well with the customers."

"That she is."

"Do you have to go to the office when we get back?"

"No, I mean I have work to do but I'll just do it from Escala. There's not much I can't do from home which works out well when I have to travel."

We finish our breakfast and pack up the few items we brought on the trip. Taylor had previously arranged for Charlie Tango to be brought to the rooftop of the hotel before he started back to Seattle. Once we're ready to leave, Ana and I gather our luggage and head up to the rooftop hand in hand. As scheduled, Charlie Tango is waiting on the rooftop with my pilot standing by waiting for us. We exchange pleasantries while loading our luggage behind our seats. As when we left Escala, I secure Ana in the passenger seat before going through the preflight checks.

"I was thinking we would take a detour on our way back to Seattle," I inform her. "There's some amazing areas that can be best seen from the air between here and Seattle."

"Sure, that sounds really nice."

A few minutes later the new flight plan is noted with air traffic control and we are in the air, heading towards a new destination. I'm pleased that Ana is much more relaxed on the way back than she was on the way here the other day. She's pointing out different things on the ground that she can see; I've flown this route many times since earning my license yet I've never noticed half the things that she has.

"Wow…Christian this is…." Her eyes widen as she takes in the area around us. The mountains are on one side of us and a forest full of trees is below us and on our other side. It's one of those rare areas that cannot be accessed by car; in fact the only way to access this area is by hiking, something Elliot and I have done a handful of times over the years. Its several miles from the nearest road, but the views even from the ground make it worth it.

"Yeah, those are always my thoughts when I fly over this area."

"It makes you realize how small you really are. The mountain is huge and all I can see for what seems like miles is trees."

"If you were on the ground you would almost be entirely alone; the only people you would see are fellow hikers but even those are rare considering how large the area is."

"You've hiked this before?"

"Elliot and I have a few times over the years. You park a few miles back that way-"

Before I can finish my sentence the lights in front of me are going off, so many at once I can barely process what each one means.

"What's happening?" Ana's voice is shaky and uncertain.

"I'm not sure…" I mumble flipping a few switches. It's only when I look out the side window that I realize smoke is coming from one of the engines. Realizing that this is causing the issue, I quickly turn the engine off. The second engine will be able to carry us back to Seattle without an issue; it's designed as a safety net should something like this happen.

"Okay, I think I have the problem figured out. The engine caught fire-"

"What?! What do you mean it caught fire? How would it catch fire?"

"I'm not sure Ana, but we have a second engine that can easily carry us back to Seattle."

"Are you sure? What if-"

"FUCK!"

The lights are flashing, alarms are blaring and smoke is bellowing from the second engine. Watching the altitude gage I can tell we are slowly going down despite me trying to raise us.

"Hang on," I tell Ana without taking my eyes off the controls.

"Charlie Tango to air control, Charlie tango to air control. We are experiencing engine malfunctions and are going down. I repeat we are going down…immediate assistance is being requested. Our coordinates are…."

 _Author's Note: So do you hate me more for not updating all week or for how I ended this chapter? I apologize for not updating earlier this week. I've had a week from hell as far as work is concerned. By the time I leave today, I will have worked more than 75 hours this week of which at least 12 were spent driving to meetings. Between meetings and presentations, the days have left me exhausted. It took 3 days to finally finish this chapter. I haven't had a chance to proof read it yet but wanted to get it up since I feel so bad for not updating all week or alerting you that I wouldn't be updating. I apologize for any errors. Next week should be much better for updating. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't hate me too much for the ending_ _J_


	63. Chapter 63

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 63 APOV:**

"I need to find a safe place to put her down; there's so much smoke I can't see," Christian grumbles.

Looking out the windshield I can't see anything in front of us but white and grey smoke; the mountain that was next to us only a few moments ago could be right in front of us and I wouldn't be able to see it. Before the smoke, the mountain and trees were the only things around us. How is Christian going to find a safe place to land the helicopter? What if he can't find a clearing to land? What if we crash into the side of the mountain on our way down? If the engines aren't working that means we're going to crash right? A quick glance at Christian confirms the seriousness of our situation; the man who is usually in complete control, always appearing calm, is gone. While Christian isn't panicking, his demeanor has completely changed. His eyes keeping darting between the control panel and the windows; his hands grip the steering column tightly as he struggles to maintain the little control of the helicopter that he currently has. I take a deep breath, slowly letting it out, willing myself not to panic. The last thing Christian needs right now is me losing it; he needs to concentrate on getting us out of this mess safely.

"There's a clearing over there," Christian points out his side window. "I'm going to try to put us down over there. The landing is going to be rough Ana; there's no way…with the engines-"

"We'll be fine Christian," I try to convince not only him but myself.

"Charlie Tango to air control, requesting immediate assistance. Our engines are out; we are going down. I repeat, we are going down. Immediate assistance is requested…"

When a section of the window clears from the smoke, I make the mistake of looking out which is when I see just how close we are to the ground. The tops of trees are only a couple hundred feet below us and I can't see the clearing that Christian was referring to. I can't stop myself from panicking as I begin to fear that we are going to crash into the forest below us. I close my eyes, grip seat below me and hope to God that I'm wrong and that Christian can truly land this thing without it crashing.

"Hang on baby," Christian's words are tense and firm; his voice is the last thing I hear before my head bounces off the window next to me. The entire world goes black following an intense amount of pain in my head.

I come to some time later; the helicopter is filled with smoke and there is a strong smell of something burning around me. I immediately call out for Christian but he doesn't respond; I'm immediately relieved to find him still strapped into his seat when I look over at him. I hold my breath, watching his chest and let it out only when I see his chest moving indicating he is breathing.

"Thank God," I mumble.

I slowly unhook myself from the seatbelt; my body is sore, I can feel blood dripping from my head but otherwise I seem to be okay. I slowly push on the door, thankful when it opens and allows fresh air to come in. The smoke immediately begins to leave the interior, although the burning smell remains ever present. I groan as I try to climb out of the seat, my muscles immediately protesting the movement. I reach the edge of my seat and take in the situation before me. The windshield in front of us is cracked, the one on my door has blood on it and Christian's head is resting against the window of his door. I fumble around the floor, finally finding my phone only to discover it is cracked and will not turn on. I have no idea how to contact air control which eliminates that option - at least until Christian regains consciousness and can help me figure this out.

I slowly move between our seats, stepping over various things from the back of the helicopter that must have come lose in the landing. I lean over Christian, slowly placing my hand on chest once again thankful that he seems to be breathing normally. His head is against the window and while my first instinct is to move it I know that's probably the last thing I should do. Suddenly the health class I was required to take at NYU comes back to me; we had an entire lesson on first aid as part of our CPR certification. As it all suddenly comes back to me, I'm thankful that I was required to take that class even though I never thought I would need to use what we were taught. I look over Christian as best I can from where I am; the only thing that stands out is his leg which seems to be bent in an unnatural position.

"Christian? Can you hear me? I really need you to wake up. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how to get us help," I can't help but whine. There's no response from Christian; as much as I want to touch him and feel his body against mine I know that the less I move him the better in case he has more serious injuries. On the way back to my seat I kick a bag that has slid between the seats which is when I realize that Christian's cell phone is in one of these bags. I don't remember where he put it when we left the hotel, but I know when we were leaving Escala he had turned it off and put it in our overnight bag. I remember him telling me that he always turns his phone off when he flies so that it isn't a distraction for him. I turned my phone on silent before slipping it into my purse so it wouldn't distract him either.

The back of the helicopter is a mess; all of our luggage from the weekend is thrown around. A white box on attached to the wall catches my eye; I make my way over the bags to it and quickly take it off the wall. The first aid kit is fully stocked; I quickly clean the cut on the side of my head with the alcohol wipes hissing as it burns the open area. The cut is just as my hair line so I can't put a band aid on but the bleeding doesn't seem too intense.

I glance towards the front, pausing to listen for Christian breathing. From this position I can see blood dripping from the side of Christian's window which I couldn't see before from where I was standing over him at. The bleeding looks more severe than mine was which concerns me; I know I need to find a way to stop the bleeding before he losses too much blood. I take several gauze packages out of the first aid kit and slowly make my way towards the back of Christian's seat. This angle isn't ideal, but I couldn't see anything from where I was before so this is the better of the two options. I open the packages before slowly moving Christian's head away from the window just the smallest amount. Leaning over him I can see the gash is on the side of his head, just like mine is which means I can't use the tape to hold on the gauze. I hold the gauze on his gash, applying gentle pressure as I try to figure out what I can do to keep the cut covered while I try to find Christian's cell phone to get us help. With my free hand, I rummage through the first aid kit before finding a roll of gauze. It's not ideal, but it should work. I place several gauze pads against the wound before rolling the other gauze around his head.

I immediately worry that perhaps I've moved Christian too much, but I know I really didn't have another option since I needed to get the bleeding under control. I try calling Christian's name again but there's still no response from him. His breathing is steady and seems normal which is the only thing keeping me somewhat calm right now. Sitting on the bench in the back of the helicopter I start going through the bags until I finally manage to find Christian's cell phone. Once again he had put it in our overnight bag before we had left the hotel; it seems the clothes must have protected it because when I press the power button it immediately begins to turn on.

"Thank God."

I put the phone on the seat next to me and look out the windows while I wait for the phone to go through its start up processes. I can't see much from the window; we seem to be surrounded by trees which amazes me how Christian managed to find an area to land the helicopter and that at least from what I can tell he managed to land it without a significant amount of damage.

Glancing at the phone, I sigh in relief when I see the phone is fully powered on. However my relief is short lived when I realize he no cell phone reception. I try dialing 911 but of course without reception the call fails.

"FUCK!"

I know my only option is to leave the helicopter and try to find an area where I can get reception on the phone, but I don't want to leave Christian. I worry that if he regains consciousness that he will try to leave to find me. I worry that if he doesn't regain consciousness that he will get worse and I won't be here to try to help him. I worry even more though that if I don't find a way to get us help that no one will come. When we were flying over this area Christian told me that even seeing another hiker in this area was rare. What are the chances that a random hiker would happen to be in the area where we are right now? What if I wait, no one comes and then Christian gets worse because I waited too long to try to get help?

Taking a deep breath, I come to the conclusion that my only option is to leave the helicopter to try to find an area that I can get reception on Christian's phone. I rummage through the bags on the floor before locating Christian's computer bag. Taking out a pen and paper, I quickly write a short note to Christian so that if he wakes he will know where I am. I beg him not to leave the helicopter, instead requesting that he wait for me to return. As stubborn as he is I know he would likely try to come after me; I don't know what I would do if I came back to find Christian's seat empty.

I put the note in his hand, hoping he doesn't drop it, before pushing my door all the way open so I can survey the area around us. There's a small stream in front of the helicopter and woods all around us. I cringe as my sore muscles ache as I hop out of the helicopter. I hold Christian's phone tight, not wanting to accidently drop it and ruin our only chance of getting help. I glance around, hoping for some sign to tell me what direction to head in for the best chance of finding an area that the cell phone will be able to find reception, but of course there is no sign. I decide to head straight ahead, hoping like hell I'm making the right decision. As I walk, I can't help but continue looking back towards the helicopter hating when I lose sight of it completely. Every so often I look at the phone, but for the longest time it simply says _no service._ After walking for about half an hour I approach a large steep hill that I slowly make my way up.

"Finally," when I reach the top of the hill I look down at the cell phone to find one small bar of service. It's not much, but it's something. I again try dialing 911, but the call doesn't connect. I have no idea if you can text 911 but I try it, not expecting the text to go through or for a response to come back. I also send a text to Taylor, which much to my surprise immediately indicates it was delivered.

 _Helicopter down. Engine problems. Assistance needed. –A_

 _Left Seattle an hour ago. ETA 90 min. Medical attention needed? –T_

 _Yes. Christian is unconscious. Possible head injury. Leg looks broken –A_

 _How are you Ana? –T_

 _Sore. Otherwise fine. No cell reception at helicopter. I need to hike back to it to check on Christian. –A_

 _There is a sat phone, in a box under Christian's seat. Call me from it when you get back to helicopter. Emergency kit including water and blankets: lift cushion of rear seats. Keep Christian warm to prevent shock from settling in. –T_

 _I don't know where we are. We took a detour to look at an area that he used to hike at with Elliot –A_

 _I have your location; the helicopter has a GPS tracker that is transmitting. When it stopped transmitting Sawyer and I left Seattle. –T_

 _Thank you. –A_

 _Go back to Christian. Call me from sat phone when you get back. –T_

 _Will do. –A_

I slide to the ground, resting my back against a tree, in relief. Knowing that help is on the way is a huge relief to me, but more so because I know it's Taylor who is on his way. I know Taylor will find us; if it was anyone else I would probably have my doubts given that we are surrounded by what looked like hundreds of acres of woods. I take a deep breath before standing up and starting the hike back to the helicopter.

The hike back is long; walking down the hill takes more time than hiking up it did because the rain over the last few days has made the ground soft and slippery. I'm wearing a pair of shoes that were definitely not made for hiking, especially not on soft ground. Not for the first time since I started on this hike do I wish I would have packed a good, comfortable pair of sneakers instead.

"Finally," I don't think I have ever been so happy to see the helicopter as I am when I finally reach the clearing where Christian somehow managed to put us down. I quickly rush over to the helicopter, immediately sighing in relief when I see Christian hasn't left the helicopter and tried to look for me. I'm immediately disappointed though when I open the door and realize he still hasn't regained consciousness. I check his breathing which still appears normal and check the gash on his head which thankfully seems to have slowed down but is still bleeding.

I climb into the back of the helicopter and dig around before retrieving the satellite phone that Taylor had told me about. I wish I knew it was here earlier, but I'm thankful it is here now. Before calling Taylor I retrieve the emergency kit, placing the blanket over Christian and drinking almost an entire bottle of room temperature water.

"Ana? How are you? How is Christian?" Taylor answers on the first ring.

"He's still unconscious, but his breathing is normal…I think. I put the blanket over him like you said."

"Good. How about you? Any injuries? Did you lose consciousness?"

"I blacked out when we went down. I don't know how long I was out for."

"Any other injuries?"

"I don't think so."

"Okay good. I've alerted the nearest hospital to have a medical chopper on standby. We are only a few miles from nearest parking lot, but judging from our maps you are about five to seven miles in from that lot so it's going to take us a little while to get to you still."

"Okay."

"Don't leave the area Ana. It's important that you and Christian stay exactly where you are. If he regain consciousness, he's probably going to be very stubborn and try to insist that he should go for help. I can't stress enough how important it is for you to keep him there and preferably still. We don't know about any internal injuries he might have. Keeping him calm and still will be the key."

"I'll keep him here."

"We're pulling into the parking lot now Ana. I need to hang up so we can gather our hiking gear and start towards. Call me if you need me. We'll be to you as soon as we can Ana, hang tight."

"I will. Thank you Taylor."

I sit back on the seat after ending the call with Taylor, relieved to hear that in a little while this nightmare will be over. After another drink of water, I make my way back to the seat next to Christian checking on him once again before settling in. Even though I know it's too soon for Taylor and Sawyer to be near us, I can't help but look out the window hoping to see them. I have no idea what direction they will be coming from, but that doesn't stop me from watching for them.

"Ana….Ana…." I hear Christian mumble and immediately rush over to him. "Please...No Ana….Noooooooooo."

"Christian? Can you hear me? Please wake up baby," I beg.

Instead of waking up, I'm met with complete silence and Christian doesn't even as much as move a muscle. I watch over him for a few more minutes, silently willing him to open his eyes, but eventually I return to my seat and continue to stare out into the woods. My eyes grow heavy as the physical toll of the day hits and as much as I try to fight it, sleep quickly finds me.


	64. Chapter 64

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 64 CPOV:**

 _We're going down…the trees are under us, the mountain is next to us…I can't find a place to land. There's no opening in the trees anywhere. We're going to crash; we're going down too fast. The blades are going to get caught in the trees. I'm losing control; I can't keep Charlie Tango up, the tail is dropping. I open my mouth to tell Ana to hold on but before the words can come out we hit the trees that were under us only moments ago. I reach out to grab Ana's hand, needing to feel her, to hold onto her right now, but she's not there. The seat she was strapped into is gone; the door that was next to her has been ripped off. Ana is gone._

 _"Ana! Ana!"_

"Christian? Christian! Open your eyes!" I vaguely here someone say. Hoping beyond everything that the voice is from Ana I struggle to open my eyes. As soon as the light hits them, I am blinded by pain. My head hurts, my eyes hurt….everything fucking hurts. I groan in frustration and try to open my eyes again, this time opening them much slower to adjust to the light. When my eyes begin to focus, I don't know what to think. I'm in a dimly lit room, lying in a soft bed with some stupid beeping machine next to me. Where is Ana? Why isn't someone out finding her? Could they have already found her?

"Ana?" My voice doesn't even sound like my own as I struggle to form the words to find out where she is.

"Son, you need to relax," my mom comes over to my bed, from where I have no idea but she is suddenly next to me.

"Ana?" I repeat.

"She's….she's in surgery right now-"

"Surgery? What happened? Where did you find her?"

"Find her? She was with you in the helicopter."

"What? No…she wasn't there…."

"That's where Taylor and Sawyer found the both of you. You were both unconscious by the time they arrived, but Ana had been talking to him from the helicopter."

"She's in surgery now?"

"Yes. Honestly, I don't know how she stayed conscious as long as she did."

"What's wrong with her? Is she going to be okay? Tell me she's going to be okay Mom-"

"Try to calm down Christian. It's important for you not to get too worked up right now; your body has been through significant trauma and you need rest to fully recover. They had to sedate you when you came in because you woke up and wouldn't calm down long enough for anyone to explain what was happening with Ana. I don't want them to have to sedate you again, but if you continue to move around and your blood pressure raises too much it's not going to be good for you. I know you want to know what's going on with Ana son-"

"Just tell me Mom; I need to know she's going to be okay."

"She's in surgery right now for severe internal bleeding. I'll get another update on her as soon as I'm done here, but the last I heard they were still struggling to find the source of the bleeding. She lost a lot of blood; they were giving her transfusions when I was updated last."

"Fuck," I know my mother hates it when I curse but no other words come to mind right now. I try to sit up, groaning as I struggle to find the strength to pull my body up. "I need to see her."

"Christian, she's in surgery; you can't go into the operating room," she reminds me. "Besides in case you failed to notice, you're not exactly mobile right now."

"Fuck," it's only when she urges me to look towards the end of the bed that I realize my leg is above the bed in some kind of contraption. I have a cast that comes up almost to my knee.

"You were lucky; it was a simple break which didn't require surgery. The head of orthopedics reviewed your x ray and confirmed that a cast and physical therapy should be sufficient for it to heal properly. You also have a minor concussion, several stitches on the side of your head and a few cracked ribs. You have a minor hair line fracture to your skull which should heal on its own. There was some swelling around your lower spinal cord however they expect it to resolve itself in the next day or two. Until then though you are on strict bed rest; any sudden movements could lead to additional swelling. You're going to be very sore for the next several weeks as your bruises begin to heal."

"Tell me Ana's going to be okay Mom. I can't lose her….I love her, Mom I need to know she's okay."

"Son," she sighs heavily. "I'll be honest with you….Ana wasn't in good shape when she came in, but I can tell you she is in the best hands possible right now. The chief of surgery is working on her right now; he is the best at what he does. Why don't I go see if there is an update on her surgery for you?"

"Please Mom," I beg. "She needs to be okay. Tell them to do whatever they need; fly in whatever specialist is needed…she needs to be okay. I can't lose her Mom. Not after we finally…."

"I know sweetie, I know. I'll go check on her right now."

I close my eyes, not wanting to think about the possibility of Ana not making it through the surgery. This is all my fucking fault! We should have driven back with Taylor and Sawyer rather than taking Charlie Tango. I never should have-

"Sir, how are you feeling?" Taylor pulls me from my dark thoughts.

"Have you heard how Ana is?" I ask immediately.

"No sir, your mother just went to find out though. How are you?"

"I'd be much better if someone would find out about my wife!"

"Understood sir."

"What the fuck happened Taylor? My mind is fucked up; I can't piece together what really happened…"

"We're still trying to piece everything together ourselves sir. I've arranged for a company to get the helicopter back to a hanger for a forensic examination but the specialist I've hired to begin the investigation into the malfunction indicated it is extremely rare for this model helicopter to lose both its engines within minutes of each other-"

"It was sabotaged."

"That's how it appears at this time."

"What about Ana, Taylor? My mother tells me that Ana was with me when you reached the helicopter. Is that right? She was there? In her seat?"

"Yes sir. She was sitting in the front passenger seat; her legs were curled up near her chest and her head was resting on the back of the seat. We thought she was watching you, but when we knocked on the door-"

"The door?"

"Yes sir, we knocked on her door to alert her to our presence but she didn't immediately respond which is when we determined she lost consciousness at some point."

"It was nightmare…"

"Sir?"

"I kept having what I thought were flashbacks of us crashing. We hit a tree and when I looked over, Ana was gone. Her door, her seat….everything was gone."

"Sir, the helicopter didn't crash. You managed to find the only clearing large enough to land that helicopter from what we could tell. There were scratches and dents, but you didn't _crash_. There were no trees down and Ana's door and seat were perfectly intact. I don't know how you managed to put her down in the only area that was clear, but you did it. I assure you, the helicopter did not crash."

"Thank God."

"Perhaps you woke up when was hiking-"

"Hiking?"

"Ana wasn't aware of the sat phone you kept under the seat and the area you landed in had no cell phone reception. I received a text from her after we were about an hour into the drive to where you landed alerting me that the helicopter was down."

"How did you know?"

"When I reached Seattle I checked on your location on the app on my phone, and saw that it wasn't moving. I had Sawyer check his app in case it was a fluke on my end, but he confirmed that you weren't moving. I picked up Sawyer and we headed towards the last GPS location; about an hour into the trip I received a text from your cell phone indicating you went down. I explained to Ana where the sat phone was and she called me as soon as she reached the helicopter. It took about forty-five minutes from the time she last texted me to when she called from the sat phone."

"How did she sound? She was okay when you talked to her?"

"Yes sir. On the phone she seemed fine; she didn't complain of any discomfort or pain. However, when we arrived we found she was unconscious and during our initial assessment it was evident that she had internal bleeding-"

"Evident how?"

"Her stomach sir, it was….purple and red, indicating that bleeding was present."

"Fuck."

"You were both air lifted here; an operating room was waiting for Ana as soon as she was taken off the medical helicopter."

"Fuck…fuck…fuck. We need to find out who did this Taylor! Leave no stone uncovered; I want to know who the fuck hurt my wife!"

"Yes sir. I've brought in everyone; this is top priority. All security measures have been increased, including those at GEH and the bakery. Everyone is working around the clock to find the bastard who did this."

"Christian," my mom rushes into the room. "She's going to be okay."

"You're sure?"

"They're closing her up right now. She'll be moved into the ICU shortly where they want to keep her overnight to monitor her due to the blood loss but afterwards as long as she is stable she will be moved into a private room."

"I want her in here with me Mom. Or me in her room as soon as she gets out of the ICU. I need to see her; I need to have her near me-"

"I'll make it happen sir," Taylor assures me before leaving the room.

"She's really going to be okay Mom?"

"Yes son. I spoke with her surgeon personally. They knew her spleen was damaged but it took longer to locate the secondary bleeding source. Once they found it, they were able to repair all the damage and close her up. They'll watch for any signs of infection overnight but otherwise she should be okay son."

"Thank God."

"She's a strong woman, Christian. Taylor told me she hiked several miles until she was able to find an area she could get reception on your phone with. Then she hiked all the way back to the helicopter. All while she was bleeding internally; I don't know how she had the strength to do all of that. She's truly amazing."

"She really is Mom. When can I see her?"

"Unfortunately Christian it's not going to be for a while yet. Your doctor doesn't want you moved from the bed and the ICU isn't large enough to accommodate your bed next to hers. Unfortunately, you're going to need to wait to see her until she is transferred from the ICU to a private room-"

"No, Mom…please….I need to see her-"

I need to see her; I need to see with my own eyes that she is okay. I can't wait until tomorrow or worse, even longer than that if God forbid she has some sort of complication from the surgery and needs to stay in the ICU longer. I need to be there when she wakes up; she can't wake up to an empty room. I need to be there-

"Shhhh….she's okay Christian," I suddenly start to feel very sleepy which is when I notice my mom doing something with the IV bag above my bed. "You need to rest; I'll go sit with Ana so she won't be alone Christian. As soon as her doctor clears her to move from the ICU you'll be able to see her I promise."

Before I can insist that I need to be the one to sit with Ana, to be there when she wakes, to make sure she is okay, the entire room goes black and I feel myself sink into the bed underneath me. In that moment I don't think I've ever been so angry with my mother. I need to see Ana; fuck the stupid best rest restriction – all that matters is seeing Ana and knowing that she is okay. I need to see her for myself; I don't trust anyone.

I have no idea how long I was asleep or passed out for, but when I open my eyes I find my dad sitting next to my bed reading something on his tablet. He must sense that I'm awake because within seconds of opening my eyes he stands up and pours me a cup of water.

"How are you son? Do you need anything?"

"Ana….how is she?" my throat is dry and hurts; my voice sounds very groggy.

"She's good son. Your mom has been with her all night."

"She's really okay? When I can see her?"

"The doctor is expected to do rounds in a few minutes according to your mom; hopefully we will know more at that time."

"She's okay though? No complications during the night?"

"Your mom said she did fine overnight. She's heavily medicated right now so your mom said she has been pretty out of it most of the night. She hasn't spiked a fever and her blood pressure has been normal which were the two main things they were concerned about."

"Thank God."

"How are you Christian? Do you need pain medication? You have-"

"I'm fine. I just need to see Ana Dad. I need to know that she's okay; I need to see her-"

"I know you do son. I sat with her for a while after her surgery last night; I assure you she was fine. She has some bumps and bruises which are to be expected but she is doing well."

"I just can't believe all of this is happening."

"What happened yesterday? All Taylor said was that you needed to do an emergency landing in the state park."

"Both engines shut down-"

"Both? That's not right Christian. That model is designed so the second engine takes over if the first one malfunctions."

"I know," run my hands through my hair in frustration. My dad probably did just as much research on the helicopter as I did before I bought it. "But, they both malfunctioned and started smoking while we were flying over the forest. I managed to land the helicopter in a clearance; it was a bumpy landing and I don't remember anything else until I woke up here."

"Do you think…."

"Taylor has a team looking into all possibilities. I don't believe it was a coincidence that both engines malfunctioned at the same time."

"No that doesn't seem likely at all. You had the helicopter serviced recently?"

"Yes, three days before we flew to Portland it was serviced."

"And your pilot didn't report any problems?"

"No, he said it flew perfectly."

"Interesting."

"Yeah."

My dad obviously tries to keep my mind off of everything that is going on because for the next hour or more he tells me about the different cases his law firm is working on – something he rarely ever does. A nurse comes in and checks my vitals while we're talking but doesn't say anything. I try to focus on what my dad is saying but I can't stop my mind from wondering about Ana. I'm desperate to see her; to know for myself that she really is okay. I need to apologize to her for what that happened and hope like hell she forgives me for what she has been through in the last 24 hours.

"Sir?" Taylor knocks on the door before opening it.

"Come in Taylor," my dad says.

"I've been alerted by Sawyer that they are preparing to move Ana-"

"Move her where?"

"In here sir; you had requested that once she was able to that she be moved into your room. Is that still the case?"

"Yes, of course!"

Taylor and my dad mange to move the furniture around the room to make way for Ana's bed and I'm sure whatever equipment she needs. There isn't much space to this room; it's designed as a private room for VIP patients but it's designed for one patient only. Taylor has some of the extra furniture removed from the room so all that remains is two small chairs for visitors to sit in. Just as I'm about to crawl out of my bed, the door opens and my mother walks in.

"Mom, how is she? Is Ana-"

I don't get to finish my sentence because when my mother steps into the room a nurse pushes a bed into the room with Ana's in it. I gasp at the sight of her; her face is as white as the sheet she is sleeping on with the exception of a large bruise near her eye.

"Put her bed next to mine," I instruct the nurse.

"Sir that's not-"

"Either you move her bed next to mine or I will get out of my bed and do it myself. The choice is yours," I cringe.

"Sir, you can't-"

"Move her over here now."

"Christian," my mother hisses at me but I only glare at the nurse who is still not moving Ana's bed.

"Excuse me miss," Taylor interjects. "I think we can take care of the rest. Can you please find out what the dietary restrictions are for both Mr. Grey and Mrs. Grey? I'd like to arrange for breakfast to be delivered for Mr. Grey."

"Yes of course. I'll be back shortly."

The nurse leaves the room quickly; before I can reprimand Taylor for sending her out of the room without moving Ana he steps between us and lowers the bar on her bed before doing the same on mine. He steps on the wheels of the bed before pushing her bed closer to mine; I breathe a heavy sigh of relief when our beds connect and I can finally touch Ana. I take her warm hand in mine and even though she doesn't respond I'm comforted just by her touch.

"I'll go follow up on breakfast. Gail is eager to get started on something for you as soon as the doctor's give the okay."

"Thank you Taylor."

"Christian, you can't be so demanding of the nurses and staff here," Mom lectures.

"As long as they don't try to move Ana again we'll be fine."

"She's heavily medicated right now, but every so often she will wake up. She seemed to have a nightmare last night so they had to give her something to help her sleep. If she starts to have another nightmare, you have to call the nurse right away. They don't want her moving around too much because she can open her stitches up."

"Okay."

"I think your dad and I are going to run home for a nap; we'll come back later this afternoon to check on you both. Do you need anything before we go?"

"When is she going to wake up Mom?"

"They should slowly wean her off of some of the heavier medications as the day progresses and the see that she remains stable. Right now, she'll have periods where she is in and out of it but for the most part just like you, she needs rest. Both of your bodies have been through a very traumatic event; it's going to take some time to recover from it."

"Thank you both….for being here last night with us. I know you had other things-"

"There's nowhere else we would have been last night Christian. Elliot and Mia were here as soon as you arrived as well; I'm sure they will be back later today," my dad says.

"Get some rest Christian. Make sure Ana rests as much as possible too. Her doctor will be by later this afternoon to check on her and update you on her status."

The door closes behind my parents and I take a moment to look over at Ana once again. I'm so relieved that she is finally lying next to me; that I can finally see for myself that she is okay. If it weren't for this damn leg contraption they have me in, I would move myself into Ana's bed, but unfortunately that isn't an option right now. I'm forced to settle for holding Ana's hand and watching her as she sleeps off the medication they have her on. I want her to open her eyes, to talk to me, to tell me for herself that she is okay but I know she needs her rest so I don't try to wake her up. Instead, I just watch her…the woman I tried so hard not to fall for but who still managed to find a way to break down every wall I put up to protect myself. The woman who hiked several miles to find a way to get us help when I was unconscious in the middle of nowhere. The woman that I can't imagine my life without…


	65. Chapter 65

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 65 CPOV:**

"Nurse?" I try to get the attention of the woman who is doing something to the annoying beeping machine next to me.

"Mr. Grey, how are you sir?"

"Have there been any changes with my wife? Did she wake up when I was asleep?" I hate that I fell asleep watching Ana; I had vowed to stay awake until she woke up. The fucking medication they gave me must have knocked me out.

"No sir," she skims information on a tablet she is holding. "They gave her a large dose of pain medication before moving her so I expect she will be out for a little while longer. When she starts to wake up it's important that you try to keep her as still as possible. If she fights it we will need to sedate her again so she doesn't injure herself further or rip open her stitches."

"She's doing okay though? Any complications?"

"No sir. Her vitals are stable and she is showing no signs of infection. Right now both of you just need to rest and let your bodies heal. The medication they gave Mrs. Grey before moving her will probably begin to wear off in the next hour or two. She's going to be really groggy and probably won't be able to stay awake for very long which is perfectly normal."

"Thank you."

"Mr. Grey, how are you? Any pain?"

"I'm fine. Is there a man outside the door?"

"Yes sir. There have been two actually since Mrs. Grey was moved into your room. Prior to her transfer there was one man stationed outside your door at all times."

"When you leave, please ask Taylor to come in."

"Yes sir. Is there anything I can get you? Do you need more pain medication?"

"No. I'm fine," the last thing I want is more pain medication. I need to be awake when Ana finally wakes up; I need to see for myself that she is okay. I need to tell her how fucking sorry I am for what happened; for what she's going through because of me. I can't do that if I'm too fucked up from the damn pain medication they keep pushing at me.

"Very well. If you need anything just press the red button on your bed. I'll send in Mr. Taylor now."

The door doesn't fully shut before it reopens and Taylor walks in.

"Sir? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine Taylor. Tell me you have figured out what the hell happened to Charlie Tango?"

"Unfortunately we haven't yet determined what caused the engines to fail," he sits in the chair next to my bed. "Based on the information we have, the investigator is assuming that the helicopter was rigged to fail when it hit a certain speed or altitude-"

"What makes him think that?"

"He spoke with Stephen, as I did, who reported that there were no issues in the flight from the hanger to the hotel. With the flight being so short the helicopter wasn't taken very high or very fast given the congested area."

"We were flying fairly low when the smoke started. I took a detour to show Ana the view…."

"He believes the malfunction likely occurred long before the smoke started. From what I understood, the smoke was the final sign of trouble before the engines shut down. But what caused the engines to shut down and the smoke to start is what he needs to determine. According to the investigator you were damn lucky you took the detour and were flying so low-"

"Why?"

"If you hadn't taken the detour you likely would have been flying at a much higher altitude and significantly faster speed when the engines cut out. He doesn't believe you would have been able to safely land the helicopter as you did if you weren't already so low to the ground."

"Fuck."

It could have been worse; I could have killed Ana.

"Sir, this wasn't your fault. We're going to find out what caused the malfunction and then find out who the fuck messed with Charlie Tango. We're going to find the bastard who did this to you and Ana-Mrs. Grey."

"Have we determined when the person had access to the helicopter? What happened to the security at the hotel?"

"Our guy was on the roof top ten minutes before Stephen arrived with Charlie Tango and remained there until you took off. According to Rennolds no one was on the roof in the time Stephen landed and you took off other than you and Mrs. Grey sir."

"Which means it occurred at the hanger."

"That's the assumption we are working under right now. I do not believe it's possible that someone had access to it while it was on the roof sir. Rennolds conducted the full search of the roof top before Stephen landed. Once the helicopter was shut down Rennolds remained with Stephen until you came on the roof."

"It wasn't Stephen; he wouldn't have done this. I've employed him for far too long."

Stephen was initially my flight instructor and is the only person I have ever trusted to fly Charlie Tango since I purchased it. Stephen has undergone a full back ground check every year; nothing is on his record – not even a speeding ticket. I compensate him well for being available to fly Charlie Tango when I need him and often on very short notice. I have no doubt in my mind that he had nothing to do with this.

"I don't believe that Stephen was involved in this either sir. However, to be sure, I have verified his alibi for the weekend. After he returned to Seattle he spent the weekend a few hours north of Portland with his family. His credit card transactions show that he didn't leave the area until he needed to return to Portland to bring you the helicopter."

"The hanger has security cameras-"

"They malfunctioned-"

"What the fuck Taylor?! Did everything fucking malfunction this weekend?"

"I don't believe in coincidences sir. It is my suspicion at this time that the person who sabotaged Charlie Tango likely caused the malfunction of the security cameras at the hanger."

"Fuck."

Who the fuck would go through so much trouble? Why would someone want to kill me?

"We are running through all the normal checks on recently termed employees at GEH and employees who may have lost their job in a recent acquisition-"

"There hasn't been anyone recently from an acquisition. We have a few that are slated for layoffs in the next couple of months but they've been compensated well and we assisted those individuals in finding new jobs. I can't imagine any of those individuals are so angry that they would do something like this-"

"Roz is also helping us compile a list of business owners that were less than thrilled about an acquisition by GEH in the last year. Barney and Welch are coming through the servers and emails of all GEH employees in the off chance that this involves someone currently employed by GEH. All security systems have been increased at all your residences and businesses. CPOs have been assigned to your immediate family-"

"You've warned Mia she can't lose this one?"

The last time there was a threat at GEH specifically against Mia, Taylor assigned her a CPO which she managed to lose on the first day he was assigned to her. He was of course fired on the spot, even though Mia was very manipulative in how she got away from him.

"Yes sir. Honestly, I think after what happened to you and Mrs. Grey, we will not have any issues with Mia complying with a CPO."

"Good."

"Gail is on her way over with lunch; you slept through breakfast and she insisted on making you something fresh for lunch. We've spoken with your doctor, you don't have many restrictions on your food but Mrs. Grey's restrictions are more severe. Gail personally spoke with Mrs. Grey's doctor so she fully prepared to meet the restrictions they have in place for her once she wakes up."

"Thank you Taylor. It wasn't necessary though; I'm sure we could just order something from a nearby restaurant-"

"Sir, with all due respect, Gail wouldn't hear of you ordering from a restaurant. I think she feels the need to do something right now."

That makes sense; Gail is the type of person who needs to take care of others.

"You have someone assigned to Gail?"

"Yes sir. Someone is with her at all times including at Escala when I'm not there."

"Good. No one loses their CPO until we figure out who the fuck did this."

"Yes sir."

"Hmmmmmm" a faint moan comes from the bed next to me and I immediately turn towards Ana only to find her still asleep. I'm disappointed but take this as a positive sign that maybe she is going to be waking up soon.

"If you need anything sir, Sawyer and I are both stationed outside."

"You need get some rest Taylor; you look like shit."

"I'll sleep when this is over sir."

"You're not going to catch the guy if you're falling asleep on your feet."

"I've stayed up for longer periods of time when I was in the service sir, this is nothing."

"Gail's CPO can take over for you when they arrive, go home with Gail and get some rest. When you come back, send Sawyer home for rest as well-"

"Sir-"

"Don't argue with me Taylor. If you're going to catch this bastard I need you on the top of your game. You can't do that if you haven't slept since we left Portland yesterday."

"Yes sir."

I know I should send both Taylor and Sawyer home for rest, but those are the two members of my security team that I trust the most. I need someone I completely trust outside the door; it's the only thing keeping me sane right now. I trust Taylor's judgement and know that he wouldn't hire anyone who wasn't competent in what they do but until I completely trust them, I want Taylor or Sawyer outside the door with one of them at all times. When this is all over, they both will be well compensate for the incredible amount of hours that they are putting in right now and will be putting in over the next few weeks.

"Noooooooooo….please don't…."

FUCK!

I press the nurse button on my bed knowing that they warned me that if Ana has a nightmare she will need to be sedated immediately so she doesn't rip open her stitches. I try calling out to her, squeezing her hand, which is really all I can do from this far away from her.

"I'm…..sorry….please don't. I didn't mean to…..I swear I didn't mean to. Owwwwwww…."

FUCK

I press the damn button a dozen more times, cursing the nurse that doesn't come under my breath for not responding to the call. What the fuck is the point of a call button if no one fucking answers? When Ana starts thrashing against the bed I know I need to do something to calm her down; the last thing I want is to see her injure herself further.

"Fuck it!"

With the nurse obviously ignoring my call, I have no other option but to do something myself. It takes me longer than I would have liked it to, but I managed to unclip the contraption holding my leg up, cursing as my ankle hits the bed too hard. But as soon as I'm free the damn restraint, I pull out my IV and the monitor on my finger before moving into Ana's bed. Mindful of her stitches, I try to carefully wrap my arms around her. I lay on my side, moving as close to her still thrashing body as I can before slipping my hand under her neck.

"No one will hurt you again Ana I promise; he will never hurt you again," I whisper when she finally begins to calm down against me. I cringe at my words; I've promised her before that no one will ever hurt her again yet she's lying in a hospital bed right now because of me.

"Mr. Grey!" the nurse from earlier rushes into the room and gasps when she sees me in Ana's bed.

"Get out."

"Mr. Grey you need-"

"Get the fuck out of my room!"

Speechless she immediately retreats out of the room; seconds later Taylor rushes in obviously having overheard the commotion.

"Sir, what do you need?"

"I want her fired," I hiss through clenched teeth. "I pressed the damn call button a dozen times when Ana's nightmare first started and she answer. I was left with no choice….I had to calm Ana down before she ripped open her stitches."

"Understood sir. I'll speak with the hospital administrator and the nursing supervisor."

"I want someone hired specifically for me and Ana. I'll pay for overtime or whatever the fuck they need. I don't want Ana to suffer again because the nurse has too many patients."

"Yes sir. I'll arrange it. Does An-Mrs. Grey need anything right now? Do you need anything?"

"No we're fine for now. I don't want that incompetent nurse back in here. If I even so much as see her I'm pulling all my funding from the hospital-"

"I'll take care of it sir. She won't be back in here. I'll have another nurse sent in-"

"Not right away. Give us a little while."

Now that I have Ana in my arms I'm not ready to let her go. Her nightmare seems to have ended and she's no longer moving around in her bed so I think the risk of opening her stitches has passed. Her breathing is steady and she appears almost calm, like she is sleeping rather than recovering from a near helicopter crash. I don't know how long we lay like that, but when the door opens and a nurse walks in I sigh in disappointment knowing that my time of holding Ana is up.

"Mr. Grey, my name is Melissa and I will be the nurse assigned to your room for the remainder of your stay at the hospital," the young woman standing at the end of my bed introduces herself.

"For the entire stay?" I have no idea how long we will be here.

"Yes Mr. Grey. You are the only room I'm assigned to however since you don't need round the clock attention I will be able to sleep in between checks. Your nurse call button has been programmed to send a message directly to me and I assure you that I will be in your room in less than one minute. When I'm not with you, I will be in a vacant room across the hall from you."

"Thank you. I will see that you are compensated thoroughly for your attention."

"That's what I've been promised in exchange for giving up my personal life for the next several days or longer," she chuckles and I immediately feel comfortable with her assignment to our room. "Now, I'm going to check Mrs. Grey's incisions to make sure nothing opened up and then we need to get you hooked back up to your monitor. You see, you take off the monitor and all sorts of alarms go off basically telling us that you're coding and dead. Since we know that's not the case, we need to have you hooked back up so we monitor your vitals consistently."

She gently lifts Ana's blanket and separates her gown; I hold my breath until I see the bandages are on stomach are still white. She lifts the bandage on Ana's stomach slightly before placing it back down. She lifts the gown a little higher and I see a second bandage across Ana's ribs under her arm; she repeats the process with that bandage.

"What is that bandage from? I thought the internal bleeding was in her stomach?"

"Her spleen was causing the majority of the bleeding into her stomach however once that was repaired she continued to bleed. It took some time but they determined that when one of her ribs cracked it nicked an artery. This incision was from where they stitched up that artery which stopped all the internal bleeding."

"She's going to be okay though? Will there be any permanent damage from it?"

"There shouldn't be. The scars will fade over time, but they will always be there. But otherwise, she shouldn't have any lasting pain or complications from the surgery. The healing process is going to take some time for both of you, so you'll need to be patient."

"As long as she'll be okay, the process can take as long as it needs to."

"I'm going to move some of the machines around so we can reattach them. For now, we'll prop up your ankle on pillows. When you go to sleep tonight though we should put it back in the hanger to keep it elevated all night. If you're comfortable where you are right now, I can reattach everything to you."

"Yes….I'm perfect right where I am."

I'm still expecting her to order me back to my bed as she reattaches the IV and the monitor to me, but she doesn't. I hold my breath until she promises to come back in a couple of hours and walks out of the room. I'm immediately relieved that she didn't insist that I return to my bed; I'm not ready to leave Ana's side yet. Even though my bed is only inches away, I want to stay exactly where I am with Ana lying next to me.

 _Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates this week; this chapter will be the only update for this week. I'll give you a hint on the next chapter since you have been so patient with me this week: Ana will wake up in the next chapter._


	66. Chapter 66

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 66 APOV:**

Fuck….my entire body hurts. I try to move but even putting forth the effort hurts at this point. I know I need to wake up; I need to check on Christian and make sure he isn't still bleeding. I need to make sure he's comfortable and not in any pain. Taylor should be here soon; I need to be awake when he gets here. I don't know why I'm so tired; I didn't think the hike was that long. I need-

"Ana? Baby are you awake?" I faintly hear Christian's voice which means he is awake. Fuck, I need to keep him still; Taylor said he shouldn't be moving around much. "Can you open your eyes?"

I reluctantly force my eyes open, only to immediately close them when the brightness hurts too much.

"Baby, squeeze my hand if you can hear me; please Ana…."

It takes much more effort than it should, and it hurts like hell, but I manage to move my fingers against Christian's hand.

"Thank fuck baby! The nurse will be here in a minute; I just called for her. Do you need anything? Are you in pain?"

He's talking too fast and not making any sense. Before I have a chance to respond, to ask what the hell he is talking about, I hear another voice in the room – this time a woman's soft voice.

"I think the light hurts her eyes; she opened them for a second but closed them right away," Christian says.

"Ana? Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes again?"

I prepare myself for the onslaught of pain before taking a deep breath and slowly opening my eyes. Unlike a few minutes ago, there is no pain; the brightness has dimmed and I'm now looking at Christian whose face is right next to me. I'm immediately relieved to see that he is okay; that he's finally conscious and that the cut on his head has stopped bleeding. It's only then that I realize we're no longer in the helicopter; I feel the softness of the mattress below me and I can hear faint beeping of a machine next to me.

"Ana? My name is Melissa, I'm the nurse assigned to your case. Can you answer a few questions for me?"

I nod; my throat hurts to swallow so I don't even try to talk.

"Do you know where you are?"

I nod again; I may not know what hospital I'm in but at least I know I'm in a hospital.

"Do you know the man next to you?"

Seriously? Did they think I forgot about Christian? I immediately nod my head several times; looking at him it's almost as if I can see the relief in his face. What the fuck happened that he would be worried that I forgot about him?

"Are you in pain?"

"A little. Very sore," my voice is a hoarse whisper.

"I'll get you something for that-"

"I don't want to be knocked out again," I strain to sound more confident that my whisper lets on. Clearly I've been knocked out for a while since I thought we were still trapped in a helicopter. I need to talk to Christian, to know that he's okay after everything that happened. I don't want to be out of again; it feels weird missing chunks of time like that.

"I'll get you something that will make you feel better but won't completely knock you out. But if the pain becomes worse we will have to give you something stronger okay?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You're going to want to move very slowly and don't try to get out of bed. You've had major surgery and therefore have many stitches that we would like to stay closed. I'm going to get you some medicine and some water; I'll be right back."

"Thank you."

"Thank God you're okay Ana," Christian's lips are on my cheek before the door even closes.

"How are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Ana. Perfectly fine; I've just been so worried about you."

"What happened?"

"Here's your medicine, take it slowly," Melissa returns seconds later before Christian has a chance to respond. "If you need anything, press the red button on your bed and I'll be here. I'll come back in an hour or so to check on you and see how the pain medication is helping you. Do either of you need anything else?"

"No, thank you," Christian says as I shake my head.

"What happened?" I repeat, needing for him to fill in the obvious blanks I have.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I talked to Taylor on the SAT phone; we disconnected because he had arrive at the parking area. I…."I struggle to put the pieces together. "I…I sat on the seat to wait for him but I was really tired. I tried to stay awake but I couldn't."

"You were bleeding internally," he sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "The doctors, the nurses, my mom, all of them can't believe that you hiked to find cell phone coverage while you were bleeding into your stomach. You must have been in so much pain…"

"No, I wasn't. I knew I had a cut on my head, but other than that I didn't feel hurt. I really didn't think I was hurt…"

"It was probably the adrenaline that kept you from feeling the pain."

"I guess that's a good thing."

"I'm so fucking sorry Ana…"

"Sorry? What are you apologizing for?"

"This mess….your hurt because of me."

"Christian, don't do this. Don't blame yourself for this. It was an accident-"

"It wasn't! Someone sabotaged Charlie Tango! Two engines don't fail at the same time Ana. This model helicopter is designed so if one engine fails the other would increase its power until you could land safely. Both of the engines on Charlie Tango failed within minutes of each other. According to our investigator that doesn't happen by accident."

Well….okay….not what I was expecting to hear.

"So you know who did it?"

"No, not yet. But we're working on finding it out-"

"Then how can you say it's your fault that we're both lying in a hospital bed?"

"Because Ana! Don't you see that if it weren't for me you wouldn't be lying here! If we had driven instead of taking Charlie Tango-"

"Maybe, maybe not Christian. If someone wanted to sabotage Charlie Tango, who's to say they wouldn't have gone after one of your cars if we hadn't flown to Portland? If someone wanted to, they would have found a way. It could have happened in a car, at Escala or even at GEH-"

"No! We have security measures in place to prevent this from happening."

"And I'm sure you had security measures in place to prevent someone from getting it Charlie Tango but they did Christian. When someone is this determined they will find a way."

"Regardless, it's still my fault. They were coming after me-"

"Are you sure they were coming after you?"

"Who else would they be targeting? You don't have any enemies Ana, no one would want to hurt you-"

"But they tried to. I'm just saying Christian maybe this wasn't about hurting you. Or maybe it was. But until you find out who did this we won't know. I hate seeing you blame yourself for something that you have no control over-"

"Ana….how can you say that? Look at everything you have been through since you met me!"

"Everything _I've_ been through? Tell me what _I've_ been through since I met you…"

Now he's just starting to piss me off; does he not realize that a couple bumps in the road are normal for couples? Why does he have to blame himself for everything that happens? Why does he always assume the worst?

"Your apartment was broken into, your belongings were trashed, the paparazzi became so intrusive that your job was put on hold for an indefinite amount of time, your picture has been plastered everywhere…"

"And what about everything I've gained since I met you?"

"Gained?"

"Christian I swear sometimes you are so dense. I know you hit your head when we landed, but come on you can't think that the only things I've gotten from our relationship have been negative," when he looks at me like I have grown a second head I realize he really does have no clue. "Christian…my entire life has changed since I met you. Yes, those things you mentioned did happen and they were unfortunate. But, you seem to always focus on the negative. Christian, before I met you I was simply existing; there's no other way to explain how I was living. I was alone; I had no one – I trusted no one. Since I met you, I've learned to trust again, I've traveled, I've found happiness and most important….I've learned what true love feels like. Don't discount that-"

"I wasn't-"

"You were Christian. By focusing on these couple negative you're acting like none of the other stuff matter. My apartment could have been broken into at any time; I know the area I lived in wasn't the greatest – I knew it could happen. The helicopter going down…. I'm not going to downplay this Christian, because right now it fucking sucks that we're both lying in hospital beds but it is what it is. I trust that Taylor and Sawyer and everyone else you hired will figure out who the hell did this and we can put this all behind us. I just need you to not blame yourself for what happened. Even if it turns out to be that someone did this to get back at you because of a business decision they didn't agree with or because you pissed someone off in some other way or for some other reason, it still wouldn't be your fault-"

"How could you say that? They did it because of me!"

"But _they_ did. You didn't. Christian if someone sabotaged your helicopter over a business decision or because you pissed them off then they have serious anger issues. This was _their_ decision; not yours. This was not your fault."

"You truly are amazing Ana."

"What? Why?" He's going to give me whiplash one of these days with how his mind works.

"You're lying in a hospital bed, having just woken up from major surgery after you lost a lot of blood and yet you still find a way to make me feel better."

"I love you Christian."

"I love you Ana, more than I ever thought I could. When I didn't know what happened to you…when my mom told me what serious condition you were in….I…."

"I know Christian….I know. I had those same thoughts when you were unconscious for so long after we landed. I was so worried…"

As my eyes fill with tears remembering that uncertainty while I was hiking, Christian quickly moves himself so he is closer to me and slips his arm under my head. I try to move closer to him, to snuggle into him, but the pain in my stomach reminds me that I shouldn't be moving. Instead I settle for being as close to Christian as I can right now and take comfort in knowing that Christian is okay.

"Your leg is broken?" I realize for the first time that he has a cast almost to his knee.

"A simple break, yes. No surgery was needed though."

"I had a feeling it was broken; it didn't look right when we landed. You're okay otherwise though?"

"I'm fine Ana. A couple cracked ribs and some stitches, but nothing compared to what you went through."

"I'll be glad when this is all behind us."

"Me too baby."

Within minutes of lying against Christian, my eyes feel heavy once again. I try to fight to stay awake, not wanting to lose any more time with Christian, but I quickly lose the battle and sleep takes over.

 _"I'll be right back Christian; I need to find an area to get cell phone reception. I need to find a way to get a hold of someone. I need to call 911 or Taylor or Sawyer or someone. I don't want to leave you….but I don't know if anyone knows to look for us. And I'm afraid if I wait any longer you're going to get worse. I need you to stay here Christian and not get worse when I'm gone. I'll be back as soon as I can."_

 _I kiss Christian on his warm cheek, breathing in his scent before I make my way back to my seat and open the helicopter door. I take a quick look around, deciding to head to the trees behind the helicopter before I climb out. It feels like I've only been walking for a few minutes, but it must be much longer than that because the forest is darkening around me. By the time I reach the bottom of a large hill, it is so dark that I can barely see the clearing at the top. I don't know what time it was when we took off from Portland or what time it was when we finally landed but it seems like night is falling. I panic knowing that if it gets too dark I won't be able to find my way back to the helicopter._

 _I start walking up the hill but it quickly becomes steeper; I'm struggling to keep going. The rocks below me are cutting through my jeans, my hands are scratched from holding onto the trees to pull myself up further. Exhausted, I sit down, leaning against a tree trying to catch my breath while deciding if I can make it any further. The forest is completely dark around me; I can't see more than a few feet in front of me. I don't know how much further it is to the top of this mountain. What if it takes hours to reach the clearing? What if I'm heading in the wrong direction? It didn't look like it would take this long from the bottom. I must be going in the wrong direction. How long have I been gone? I take Christian's phone out of pocket only to realize the battery has gone dead._

 _FUCK_

 _Without a working cell phone, there is no reason to continue to climb towards the clearing. With a dead battery I won't be able to call 911 or Taylor or Sawyer for help. I need to head back to the helicopter and check on Christian. Hopefully he will be awake and can figure out how to use the radio – if that even still works. Sighing in disappointment, I stand back up and start heading down the mountain back towards where I hope the helicopter is._

 _By the time I finally reach the bottom of the mountain, I'm panting and my body is screaming to rest. But I don't; I push through it knowing that the helicopter should be only a few more minutes ahead. I can't see anything; it must be the middle of the night now because the forest is completely black. I can hear what I can only assume are animals moving through the woods around me._

 _I need to get back to the helicopter and check on Christian. I push myself harder, pushing through the pain and discomfort until I finally reach the helicopter. I quickly run to the passenger side, open the door and climb in._

 _"CHRISTIAN?"_

 _The seat where he was strapped in is now empty; I look around the helicopter, but there's nowhere that he could be where I wouldn't see him. He's gone….I was gone too long and now Christian is gone…_

 _"CHRSITIAN!"_

"Ana! Baby wake up!" I hear Christian saying and I slowly open my eyes to find him looking right at me. I'm breathing heavy, but I can't help but sigh in relief seeing him.

"You're here."

"Of course I am baby. Where would I have gone?" he chuckles. "Are you okay?"

"It was a nightmare-"

"Mrs. Grey, are you okay?" Melissa comes rushing in and immediately walks over to the monitor next to me that is beeping like crazy.

"I'm fine…it was just a nightmare."

"Do you want me to give you something to help you sleep-"

"No, I'm fine, really."

"If you're heart rate doesn't settle back down in the next few minutes I'm going to need to give you something to help you relax okay?"

"Okay, but I'm fine…really."

"I'll be across the hall if you need anything."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Christian asks as soon as Melissa leaves the room.

"I'm fine….it was just a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was stupid…."

"What was it about?"

"The helicopter going down-"

"Shit Ana…I'm-"

"Don't apologize Christian!" I interrupt quickly, refusing to let him continue to think he is blame for what happened. "The nightmare was just that a nightmare. It wasn't about what really happened-"

"What do you mean?"

I tell him about my nightmare, which was nothing like the reality of what happened when I woke up after the helicopter went down. Afterwards, he tells me about his nightmare when I was in surgery and he thought the helicopter crashed and that my seat was ripped out of it during the crash.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey?" Taylor knocks before opening the door.

"Nice to see you again Taylor," I don't think he will ever know how grateful I was that he responded to the text I sent from Christian's phone and talked to me at the sat phone once I returned to the helicopter.

"Mrs. Grey….it's very nice to see you again."

"Is everything okay Taylor?" Christian asks.

"Yes sir, everything is fine. Mr. Grey and Ms. Grey are outside asking if you they can visit with you both."

"Do you feel up to visitors Ana? If not, we can wait until tomorrow or whenever you feel up-"

"No, it's fine. I'm sure I look like death, but as long as they don't mind-"

"You do not look like death. You look just as beautiful as you always do," Christian kisses me gently on the lips before nodding to Taylor to let our visitors in.

"Christian! Ana! Thank goodness you guys are okay!" Mia bounces into the room followed by Elliot only a few seconds behind her.

"Hey sis, you okay?" he leans over me and kisses me on the cheek as Mia hugs Christian. Elliot calling me sis causes my breath to hitch; he's never referred to me like that before.

"I'm okay, Elliot," I assure him as I blink back the tears of realization of how close Christian's family and I have become. If I had ended up in the hospital a year ago, I would have woken up to an empty room. No one would have come to visit me, no one would have rushed to my side to make sure I was okay or anything. I would have been alone…

"You're really okay Ana?" Mia rushes over to hug me once she seems to be convinced that Christian is okay.

"Not to hard Mia!" Christian snaps. "She has stitches!"

"It's fine Christian," I assure him that Mia wasn't hugging me too hard although there was minor discomfort.

"I'm so glad you're both okay!" Mia plops herself into the chair next to me while Elliot goes to the other side of our make shift large bed to talk to Christian.

"We're fine Mia," Christian rolls his eyes but smiles at Mia. I know at times Mia's energy can annoy him, but deep down he loves that she cares so much about him.

"Don't worry about the bakery Ana, Ginny is-"

"Shit! I need to call Ginny!" It's only when Mia mentioned Ginny do I realize I haven't even thought about the bakery.

"Taylor already spoke to her and informed her what happened and that you will likely be unavailable for a few days or longer," Christian quickly assures me.

"Oh, thank goodness."

"Ginny has everything covered Ana, you don't need to worry," Mia tells me. "In fact, she redid the schedule and gave me a couple of shifts starting tomorrow. She said she spoke with you about it; I'm so thankful that you gave me a chance to work there Ana! It's such a great place to work; it's small but busy and everyone for the most part is so friendly!"

"I really lucked out when Ginny took a chance on hiring me when I first came to Seattle. I had absolutely no experience, but she started me out on the cash register and then taught me from there. I'm glad you like working there; Ginny said you did a great job on your first day."

"It was a lot to learn, but I think I did okay. I'm looking forward to this week; I have three shifts scheduled so far, she said she might need me for more because one of the girls has been calling out lately-"

"Amy?" I guess.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"It's a pattern for her. Whenever she starts dating a new guy, she is suddenly sick all the time and misses her shifts. Ginny and I have spoken about her at length; we both knew it was only a matter of time until she did it again."

"You shouldn't keep giving her chances."

"I know," I sigh in admission. "She's been with Ginny for about a year now; Ginny is kind of attached."

"But it's your bakery right? I mean-"

"No, you're right. If Amy calls out this week, I'm going to speak with Ginny about letting her go."

"I'm sorry Ana, I didn't mean to sound as if I was trying-"

"No, I know you weren't Mia. I'm just still getting used to the idea of being the owner of Sweet Dreams. Tell me about your first day there."

We spend the next couple of hours visiting with Mia and Elliot and then with Grace and Carrick. I'm surprised to learn that Grace and Carrick both sat with me while I was in the ICU following surgery; I hadn't expected anyone to be with me especially since their son was sitting in his own hospital room. I guess I just assumed I was in the ICU by myself until I was moved into this room with Christian. When I try to thank Grace and Carrick, they both shush me refusing to allow me to express my gratitude. Grace's explanation was simple: "you're family."


	67. Chapter 67

_Author's Note: Sorry guys for the delay and for only posting once this week! Work has been incredibly hectic with more traveling and a work load that really should be for two people. Unfortunately it doesn't look like this week was a fluke but looking at next looks even worse than this week! Rest assured I will continue to update, but it will probably be only once per week. I had this half written when a reviewer asked for Taylor's POV, so after thinking about it I decided to tweak the chapter a little. I haven't written from Taylor's POV in this story yet but I'm hoping it works._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 67 Taylor's POV:**

What a fucking morning! I've been awake now since a little before four in the morning when my phone started going crazy with text messages and emails from Barney, Welch, Sawyer and even Roz. Some fucker at the hospital alerted the press to Christian and Ana being there and the even told them their helicopter crashed! After everything that these two have just gone through this was the last thing they needed! According to Sawyer members of the press have been at the hospital since the story was leaked overnight. Thankfully he was able to work with the hospital's security team and Seattle's police department; the press is no longer in front of the hospital entrance doors – instead they are camped out in the parking lot or across the street.

I thought we would at least have some time until we needed to deal with the press, but I know we've been just plain lucky that the press hadn't caught wind of the incident prior to last night. We were lucky that no one linked Charlie Tango to Christian when it was removed from where he somehow managed to land it after both engines went down. I'll never forget the moment that I received the text from Christian's phone after seeing that his GPS wasn't moving. I only had a few private security jobs before being hired by Mr. Grey and I never lost someone I was guarding, but that was my first thought when I realized Charlie Tango's GPS wasn't moving. Helicopters don't just stop moving; Christian would have informed me if they were planning on landing somewhere for a detour. So I knew the moment I saw that GPS stagnate that something was wrong. That first hour on the road before we received Ana's text was tension filled. Every possible scenario was going through my head but none of them ended well.

And then the text came through. That in itself was a relief but more so when Ana was able to call on the SAT phone and I could fully assess the situation. However, nothing could have prepared me for the scene we found when we arrived at Charlie Tango and found both Christian and Ana unconscious. Unfortunately I've seen my fair share of injuries having served overseas too many times, but once you readjust to civilian life you don't expect to be dealing with things like that again. Finding two unconscious adults, with head injuries, internal bleeding and broken bones immediately took me back to my time in the military. Thankfully the training I received kicked in and I immediately went to work to assess the injuries.

Here we are only a few days later preparing for Mr. and Mrs. Grey to come home which has now been complicated by the fact that the press is at the hospital. I spent the morning on the phone with the hospital's head of security reviewing blue prints to determine the best way to get Ana and Christian out of the hospital without the press seeing. I know Mr. Grey all too well; he will flip out if the press obtains a picture of him or Ana leaving the hospital. GEH has already released a statement to their employees explaining that Mr. Grey's helicopter did not crash but needed to land due to a mechanical malfunction. Roz immediately set out to reassure all their employees that Mr. Grey is fine and will be returning to work shortly. A brief statement was released to the press as well, again stressing the mechanical malfunction as the reason for the emergency landing and stressing the helicopter did not in fact crash. Wording was carefully chosen as to not hint at the fact that we know Charlie Tango was tampered with which led to both engines failing.

We continue to hit brick wall after brick wall in finding out who was responsible for the damage. I don't think the person texting Ana about Christian's past is responsible for this, but I am still trying to track down who sent those messages. Unfortunately the number is blocked and according to what Barney has been able to find it appears the messages were being sent from a prepaid cell phone which is completely untraceable. He continues to explore all options but my gut tells me it isn't tied to the helicopter's engine troubles. I could be wrong though which is why I'm pushing Barney to use every resource possible to try to figure out who purchased the cell phone or at least where it was purchased.

Everyone has been on high alert this week; finding out who sabotaged Charlie Tango is a top priority for everyone. Mr. and Mrs. Grey have only been home from their honeymoon a few weeks…I'm still trying to get used to there being a Mrs. Grey. I can't say I ever thought I would see the day when there was a Mrs. Grey. The change in Christian and Ana since their honeymoon has been drastic; there always had been an attraction between the two of them but it seems their honeymoon took things to a different level. When they left they were walking some weird line between friends, business associates and two adults who want to fuck. They returned from their honeymoon…almost as a normal couple. I see Mr. Grey doing things with Ana I've never seen him do before: holding hands, touching Ana when he thinks no one is looking, talking about her, texting her and even leaving work at a reasonable time! I know this all started as some business arrangement, but it's obvious that at some point Ana and Christian moved way beyond a business arrangement. Gail was floored when Mr. Grey asked her to move Ana's clothes into his room; even when that bitch Katherine would stay at Mr. Grey's previous condo she would never sleep in his bed – hell I don't think she ever stepped foot into his room. Yet, he seems perfectly comfortable with Ana in his room.

"Don't you need to get going?" Gail comes into the kitchen in our private apartment.

"Yes, I was just waiting until the coffee was done," I wrap my arms around her pulling her close to me. She doesn't say anything, but wraps her arms around my waist and presses her head against my chest. This whole thing with Charlie Tango has made me appreciate Gail that much more…she truly is the love of my life.

"I hear they're expecting Mr. and Mrs. Grey to be discharged today?"

"That's what Sawyer said earlier. I've been coordinating security all morning; I need to get them out of the hospital without the press seeing them. Mr. Grey would never want the press to get a picture of him looking weak which is how he will think he looks when leaving a hospital."

"You're right, but he needs to realize that he is only human. I wish the press would just leave them alone. Ana is such a sweet girl and after how she tried to get help for Christian when the chopper landed she shouldn't have to deal with this."

"I doubt she'll be as concerned as Christian will be. Ana seems to just go with the flow-"

"Whereas Christian needs everything to be perfect and hates the idea of being perceived as weak."

"I'm sure no matter what happens, they will both be glad to be home after being in the hospital for the last few days."

"I'll text you when we're on our way home."

"I love you Taylor."

"Love you too."

 **CPOV:**

I wake up to Ana's soft body curled around mine; if it weren't for the annoying beeping machines behind us I could forget that we are still in the hospital. It's been six days since Charlie Tango went down and we are still no closer to finding out what happened. According to Taylor, the investigator he hired is still trying to pin point what caused both engines to fail but in the meantime the rest of his team is exploring every possible motive someone might have for trying to kill me. Unfortunately since Ana and I are still stuck in the hospital there isn't much I can do to help Taylor which is killing me. Technically I was cleared to leave the hospital yesterday after the swelling in my spine has completely resolved on it's own. However, I refused to be discharge and instead am paying the entire hospital bill since then out of pocket since the insurance company will not authorize an extended stay. I couldn't leave Ana here; even though I know I wouldn't leave if I had been discharged, I knew she would try to pressure me into leaving because she would feel bad that I was staying at the hospital with her. So instead, we are both still admitted as patients in the hospital, although Ana's doctor indicated yesterday she may be discharged today if her vitals remained stable overnight.

Although I know it's going to take some time for both of us to recover, I'm eager to get back to Escala. Although I love lying next to Ana and having her in my arms, squeezing two people into a twin size hospital bed is not exactly ideal. Don't get me wrong, there are perks to sharing a small bed; Ana's beautiful body is always pressed against mine. I'm looking forward to getting back to Escala and to sleeping with Ana in our bed.

"Christian!" hearing my mom gasp at the door way I immediately look away from Ana to my mom's face which is full of alarm.

"What's wrong? Is everything okay? Did something to happen to Dad or Elliot or Mia?"

"No….no they're fine. I'm just…." And that's when I realize her eyes are fixated on my chest where Ana's resting hand lays.

"Is everything okay?" Ana's hand runs up and down my chest, something she's started doing more and more over the last couple of days.

"Just fine," I kiss the top of her forehead. "Mom, come sit down."

"Good Morning Grace; I didn't see you there," Ana blushes as she tries to pull away from me but I hold her against me instead raising the bed so we are sitting up.

"Morning Ana, how are you feeling dear?"

"Good, really good actually," I'm so relieved to hear her say that. Although she hasn't complained about the pain even once, I know she was uncomfortable.

"That's great Ana. I was stopping by this morning to let you know that your doctor has signed the discharge paperwork. You are both free to leave-"

"Thank God!" I sigh in relief.

"Melissa is preparing your discharge instructions and follow up appointments but I expect in the next hour or so you should be ready to leave."

"I'll inform Taylor-"

"I already did. He immediately started making whatever arrangements he must feel are necessary," she glances at my chest where Ana's hand still lies; her eyes full of questions as she tries to make sense of what she is seeing.

"It doesn't hurt," I assure her. "I don't know why, but it doesn't."

"You truly are a wonderful person Ana-"

"I didn't-" Ana tries to object to my mom's complement as Ana often does when she refuses to accept a complement.

"You have made my son happier than I've ever seen him; he's never smiled as much as he has since he met you. You saw past the concrete walls he built around himself and saw that there was a person behind all of that. You found a way to get him to trust someone again. You showed him what love is supposed to look like. And somehow, you have done what countless therapists couldn't do. You found a way to touch him…" her eyes are filled with tears and for the first time I realize how hard my childhood must have been on my mother. She couldn't comfort me the way she could comfort Elliot and Mia; she couldn't hug me or hold me when I was upset.

"Grace….Christian has given me just as much as I have given him. He wasn't the only one who had built walls to protect himself from outsiders. Somehow we both tore each other's walls that we thought we built to protect ourselves. We….we've showed each other what love is supposed to be like."

Ana's eyes are on mine with her last sentence; although it's only been a few days since we told each other how we felt, the truth is we've been in love with each other for months now. We were both in denial for so long; we both assumed that if we didn't acknowledge our feelings that they didn't exist. We were both scared that the other didn't feel the same way. Since that day in our hotel room, I haven't been able to stop telling Ana how much I love her.

"You too….I'm so happy that you managed to find each other," Mom blinks away the unshed tears in her eyes.

"So we can really get out of here today?" I change the subject, needing to be done with this heavy conversation.

"Yes…Melissa should have everything ready for you in a little while. You both have restrictions though: neither of you are cleared to return to work full time. If you need to work," she glares directly at me before she finishes her sentence, "you should do it from Escala; there's no need to put yourself at further risk by going to GEH just yet. Take a few days and get used to the crutches before you venture out of Escala; your ribs are going to be very sore especially if you overuse the crutches. Ana, no heavy lifting….your stitches should dissolve on their own in the next few days but you still need to take it easy. I'm not sure what you're doing at the bakery these days, I recommend not going in for at least a couple weeks. You can't be lifting the heavy bags of ingredients or mixing bowls filled with dough-"

"I'm handling most of the behind the scenes processes now actually. Once the press learned I worked there it became impossible to work behind the counter. They haven't figured out that I own the bakery yet and I'd like to keep it that was as long as possible. I'm just starting to take over the paperwork, payroll and ordering from the previous owner."

"Good, stick to that stuff at least for now. Do what you can from Escala; if you need to go to the bakery don't carry anything heavy. Let Sawyer or Taylor do that for you."

"I will."

"I'll come by later tonight and check on both of you once my shift is done. Ana, make sure Christian takes it easy. I don't want him thinking he can work 60 hours a week right away," she glares at me again.

"I promise, I won't let him go back to his crazy schedule right away," Ana giggles.

"I'll see you both later tonight; love you guys."

"Love you too Mom."

"I'm so glad we're able to go home today," Ana smiles at me. "I'm so done with not being able to leave the room."

"Me too."

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey?" Taylor knocks on the door a few minutes after my mom leaves.

"Come in Taylor."

"Sir, Sawyer will be arriving in about 10 minutes, we've secured a private exit for him to meet us at however I cannot guarantee that the press-"

"What press?"

"The press has been outside the front of the hospital since the story was leaked late last night-"

"What story? What the fuck are you talking about Taylor? Who the fuck leaked to the press that we were here?"

"I'm not sure sir, but if you check your phone I've sent you several links to various news stories-"

"Where the fuck is my phone?" I haven't used it this morning, a rarity I realize as I search the room for it. It wasn't that long ago that the first thing on my mind when I woke up in the morning was checking my email to see what business issues occurred overnight or what the press had written about me. When did that stop being the first thing I thought of? In fact, I can't remember the last time I thought about the press…

"Here Christian," Ana hands me my phone which I now realize had been on the charger on the table next to her bed.

"Thanks," I mumble as I quickly scroll through my email and click on the link that Taylor sent me.

 ** _Billionaire CEO and young wife injured in helicopter crash_** _  
According to a source at Seattle Grace Hospital, who wishes to remain anonymous, Christian Grey and his wife, Anastasia Grey were admitted to the hospital following a helicopter crash less than one week ago. Our source reveals that the newly married couple were flying back from Portland when their helicopter was forced down and they both had to be air lifted to Seattle Grace. While both Mr. and Mrs. Grey were injured, neither had life threatening injuries. According to the Seattle police department, the cause of the crash remain under investigation._

 ** _Christian Grey: Seattle's worst patient?_** _  
In speaking with a source at Seattle Grace Hospital, we have learned that Billionaire, CEO Christian Grey is just as demanding outside of the board room as he is inside of it. According to our source, Christian Grey refuses for him or his wife to eat hospital cafeteria food – instead he insisted that his personal chef be given a list of their dietary needs and has arranged for food to be delivered several times per day. He reportedly tried to fire one nurse who failed to respond to him fast enough, opting instead to hire one individual nurse to care for himself and his wife 24/7 throughout their stay. According to hospital staff, Mr. Grey is paying the nurse directly for her time and he refuses to allow her to be assigned to another patients. Soon after his admission to the hospital, Mr. Grey demanded that his wife be moved into his private room once she was medically cleared. We knew Christian Grey could be demanding….but he may have earned the title of Seattle's Worst Patient. Although, several of our staff members found it romantic that billionaire, CEO Christian Grey couldn't stand the thought of being separated from his new wife._

"I want to know who the fuck leaked our status to the press and I want them fired! Our privacy is protected by confidentiality laws that all employees at this hospital are supposed to follow. NO ONE should have spoken to the press let alone provided specifics about what happened to anyone," I'm beyond furious. The last thing that Ana should need to worry about as we leave here today is the press.

"Yes sir, I already have Welch and Barney looking into employees of the hospital who had access to this floor or knowledge of your admission to the hospital."

"Christian, let's not worry about the who leaked the story-"

"Why not Ana? They should be punished-"

"And I'm sure they will be as soon as Barney and Welch figure out who it was. But for right now, can we listen to whatever Taylor has planned for our discharge so we can get the hell out of this hospital?"

When she puts it like that how can I possibly argue?

"You heard Ana, Taylor – what's the plan?"

"Sawyer will be arriving a private entrance that is typically only used for deliveries in approximately," he glances at his watch. "five minutes, but at the same time Rennolds will be arriving in your standard black SUV at the front entrance at the same time. We hope that the press will assume Rennolds is here to pick you up and their focus will be on the front entrance allowing us to slip out the back. Only one member of the hospital's security team is aware of our exit strategy therefore we believe the risk is low that the press will find out about it."

"Very good. Let's get out of here Taylor."

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey," Melissa comes in with two men pushing wheelchairs behind her. "If you're ready we will follow Mr. Taylor to your vehicle."

"I don't need a wheelchair," I hiss.

"Hospital policy sir-"

"Fuck the hospital policy, I'm walking out of here," I sit up and swing my legs off the bed but before I can get up Melissa is in front of me.

"Mr. Grey, with all due respect, I have given up nearly a week of my life for you. I have not left this hospital, or even stepped foot outside for fresh air, in several days for you. I am just as eager as you to get out of here. Given that I have put my entire life on hold and worked 96 hours in 4 days, the very least you could do is not argue with me and sit in the damn chair."

"Fine," I reluctantly agree to the wheelchair not admitting that she has a point.

"Come on Christian, let's go home," Ana says as she sits in her own wheelchair patiently waiting for me.


	68. Chapter 68

_Author's Note: I regretfully need to admit that I let some of the negative comments left by guest reviewers get to me which had me really struggling to write this chapter. For the first time with this story, my last chapter received more than one negative review including a couple that said my chapter was boring. I'm not going to apologize for the lack of drama or answers in the last chapter; sometimes you need filler chapters to get to the next part of the story. To the reviewer who said I don't update often enough: I'm not sure how that is accurate nor that it is fair. Some of my favorite authors on this site only update every few weeks or sometimes once a month. I get that my updates have decreased in frequency, however I have consistently updated this story at least once per week. To that guest reviewer: I would like to point out that I work a full time job where I have more than 300 employees reporting to me and have 3 very young children that I chase after every day. Okay, rant over….I promise to try not to let the negative reviewers affect me again._

 **Chpt. 68 APOV**

"How are you feeling?" Christian asks.

We've been back at Escala now for about an hour; we've spent most of the time on the couch in the great room. Thankfully, Taylor's plan for us to leave the hospital without the press knowing worked; we were able to arrive to Escala without the press even knowing we left the hospital.

"Good….a little tired but not as sore as I have been. How about you?"

"Already annoyed with the damn crutches," he grumbles but pulls me closer to him with the arm that is wrapped around my shoulders. "But, I'm glad to be home. I….I missed sitting with you like this, having you next to me like this…"

"Me too."

I don't know what it would have been like to have separate hospital rooms; I can't imagine either of us would have been able to stay away from the other. I was so relieved to open my eyes and find Christian next to me in the hospital; I don't think I would have believed anyone that he was okay if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. I don't know how he convinced the hospital to allow us to share such a small room, but I'm sure he ruffled a few feathers in the process. Whatever he did, I'm glad he did it. We've been sharing the same bed nearly every night since our wedding; I can't imagine not sleeping next to Christian. Even if the hospital bed was cramped and uncomfortable, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Sir, ma'am," Taylor quietly enters the room a few minutes later.

"Taylor?" Christian nods.

"If you have a few minutes, I would like to update you on a few things," he says.

"Sure," Christian turns to me, kissing me firmly on the lips, his tongue caressing my lips just before he pulls away leaving me breathless. I can't help but moan when he prepares to leave the couch; he smirks at me obviously knowing the affect his kiss had on me. While we were in the hospital, Christian was almost hesitant with me…even cautious. Of course he would hold me at night and I could always feel him against me, but his kisses were soft and gentle – his touch matching his kiss. This little kiss, was completely different than how he kissed me even just earlier this morning when we woke up in the hospital.

"I'll be back in a little," Christian says before pulling himself off the couch with Taylor's assistance.

I glance around the room, my eyes settling on the fireplace which takes the slight chill off the room. The weather has been strange lately; warm some days while cooler on others. Fall in Seattle is always like this; you never know what to wear from one day to the next. My eyes feel heavy as I watch the flames dance across the fake logs in the fireplace and as hard as I try to fight it, exhaustion eventually takes over.

Despite falling asleep quickly, my sleep leaves me feeling anything but rested. For some reason, in my dream I was back to sleeping in the dark "bedroom" that I stayed in with my grandmother. The "bedroom" was really a large closet that she had a twin mattress thrown on the floor in. My clothes were hung on both sides of the walls, with the few personal items I had on the shelves next to my bed. The sad part was, I wasn't stuck sleeping in a closet because my grandmother didn't have a spare room that she could have given me. The house had more bedrooms than anyone could ever use; yet I was stuck sleeping in a closet that was barely wide enough to fit a twin size mattress on the floor. Who does that to their own relative?

I wake up wishing I hadn't fallen asleep to begin with. I haven't thought about my grandmother and the time I lived with her in awhile. There hasn't been a need to; that time in my life is over and I've moved on. At least that's what I try to tell myself; the scars that I still have from that time with her tell another story. I'll never know why she hated me so much; I knew she hated my mother but that shouldn't be enough of a reason to leave scars on a teenager.

Needing to clear my head, I decide to make a cup of tea; it takes me a few minutes to get up from the couch as my ribs are still quite sore but at the same time it feels good to get up and move around. I was so glad this morning when Grace walked in with our discharge paperwork; I know Christian was just as eager to leave the hospital as I was. I've never been the type of person who is content to just lay in bed all day, so being in a hospital bed, even when I was recovering, was hard.

"Can I get you something Ana?" Gail greets me as soon as I walk into the kitchen.

"I was just going to make a cup of tea-"

"Go sit down, I'll bring it to you," she immediately interrupts me and stops what she is doing to make my cup of tea.

"It's okay Gail, I can do it-"

"Don't be silly. You need to rest, I'll make it for you."

"Okay, but I'm not going back to the couch," I take a seat at the breakfast bar while Gail fusses about getting everything ready.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better than I was a few days ago," I attempt a weak joke but even just a small laugh hurts my ribs.

"Is there anything else I can get you? Do you need….anything?"

"No, I can't think of anything, thank you though."

"Ana….I can't thank you enough for what you did for Mr. Grey. Jason said you had to hike several miles just to send the text, and with all your injuries I can't imagine…"

"Gail," I quickly interrupt her comfortable with everyone's focus on what I did. Christian is the one who managed to land the helicopter with two failing engines without being able to really see where he was going. "Really it was nothing. I really didn't think I was injured; I didn't feel any pain. From what I'm told it was because of my adrenaline level that I didn't feel the injuries I had. Christian was the real hero though; I have no idea how he managed to land the helicopter. All I saw was smoke and trees; I'm still amazed that we didn't crash or end up with more injuries than the few that we have."

"Someone was definitely watching over for both of you that day."

"Maybe," I shrug having not thought that much about it. "I was going to take something into Christian; I'm sure he must be getting hungry by now."

"I have some fruit or cheese with crackers? Or do you think he might want something heavier? I have-"

"I'm sure something light will be fine; dinner is in a couple of hours."

Somehow Gail always has something prepared; she opens the fridge and pulls out a cheese platter before adding a few crackers to the plate. I wouldn't even think to keep something like that ready in the fridge, but I guess Gail has worked for Christian long enough that she is used to things coming up at the last minute that she needs to prepare for. She puts the platter on a serving tray and adds a few bottles of water, some juice, napkins and plates.

"If you lead the way, I'll carry the tray in," she gestures towards Christian's office.

I was tempted to point out that I could carry the tray, but the pain from my ribs when I stood up reminded me that I needed Gail's assistance. It's been an adjustment getting used to having Gail cooking my meals and doing my laundry, something I've never had before. Even now, Gail seems to know what I need before I do. Growing up, I was always on my own; no one was ever there for me or cared enough to help me when I was sick. And when I was with _him_ , there was no recovery time when I had broken ribs or bruises that needed to heal. _His_ expectations never changed; it didn't matter how much pain I was in, I was still expected to have everything done before he walked through the door. So something as simple as Gail carrying in the tray full of food or making my cup of tea because she knew I was in pain….yeah that's going to take some getting used to.

"Come in," Christian's voice comes from behind the door the moment I knock.

"Oh!" I'm surprised to see Taylor still in Christian's office; I had assumed they had finished their meeting. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were still meeting. I thought you might be hungry, but I can come back-"

"No, it's fine. We were almost finished anyway," using his crutches he hops towards me to greet me with a light kiss on the cheek.

"Ana thought you might be hungry," Gail mentions before setting the tray on the small table.

"Thank you Gail," Christian says.

"I can come back-" I feel bad for interrupting their meeting; I assumed they would have finished while I was sleeping.

"No, it's fine. Taylor was just going to brief me on the call with the manufacturer of Charlie Tango," Christian assures me.

"Right, I spoke with Eurotek Air….."

Eurotek Air….the name sounds familiar but I'm struggling to place why I know that name. Could I have seen it on the inside of the helicopter while we were flying? I don't remember seeing it, but where else would I know the name from? I rack my brain until it finally hits me….

 _"Ladies and Gentleman, if I can have a moment of your time," the distinguished man on stage says through the microphone. "I would like to take a moment to thank the hard working team at Creative Advertising Strategies for always being willing to think outside the box, for going above and beyond to meet our client needs and just as important for creating a fun work environment," cheers are heard around the room along with some applause. "Tonight we are here to celebrate our newest member of the CAS family: Eurotek Air who has signed on with CAS for all of their advertising needs," this time the room erupts in a loud applause. "This venture wouldn't have been possible without the dedication of several key members of the CAS family: Mike, Christine, Adam, Susan, Steve and Joshua…"_

 _I'm surprised Jack isn't mentioned; he's been working so many hours lately on a project for a new client. Maybe it was a different new client? I'm sure CAS has many new clients, but Eurotek is probably the largest one which is why we are here celebrating. I chance a glance at him and immediately relax a little when he doesn't appear angry that his name was left out._

"You said Eurotek Air?" I clarify, hoping that either I misheard Taylor or that this is some odd coincidence that the manufacturer of the helicopter that malfunctioned partnered with CAS.

"Yes, Eurotek Air is the manufacturer of the same model helicopter that Charlie Tango was," Taylor clarifies.

"Ana is something wrong? Are you feeling okay? You look pale," Christian squeezes my hand as Taylor jumps to get me a bottle of water.

"I…..I don't know," I admit.

"I can come back-" Taylor begins.

"No, stay," I interrupt knowing he needs to be here. "My ex…he works for the company who handles, or at least handled, all the advertising needs of Eurotek Air."

"Are you sure Ana?" Christian asks.

"Yes….the night I….I finally left him we were at a dinner celebrating Eurotek signing with CAS."

"Taylor-"

"I'm on it sir," he quickly types into away at his phone. "None of the reports indicate that Jack Hyde left the state of New York since we've had him under surveillance-"

"Wait," I interrupt quickly. "What do you mean under surveillance? How do you know his name? I don't remember-"

"You didn't," Christian says. "After you told me what….what he did to you, I had Taylor find out who your ex was. We've had him under surveillance from a distance ever since."

"How? How did you find out who he was?"

"I came across a picture of the two of you; you were attending a holiday dinner for his company. It fit the timeline…" Taylor says unapologetically.

"I see," I don't really know what else to say. I shouldn't be surprised, Christian had Taylor run a background check on me as soon as we met through Elena.

"Baby," Christian puts his hand on my cheek and gently urges me to look at him. "That night, when you told me what that fucker did to you, I promised you I would never let him hurt you again. The only way I could keep my promise was to keep him under surveillance, to track all of his movements, and make sure he never stepped foot in the same state as you."

Well…fuck….when he puts it like that how I can be mad?

"I…that makes sense."

"Ana, I need to ask you some questions," Taylor warns although it doesn't come as a surprise; what does surprise me is the realization that Taylor used my first name instead of referring to me as Mrs. Grey or Ms. Steele. The moment I realized where I knew Eurotek Air from I knew questions were going to be asked; questions that I needed to answer. I would love to be able to reassure Taylor and Christian that _he_ wouldn't have done this but I can't. After I moved in with him, I realized I knew nothing about Jack.

"When was the last time you saw Jack Hyde?" Taylor asks.

"The night of the Eurotek Air celebration dinner."

"Did you hear from him after that?"

"He called me a few times and texted me a few times after I first left. However, I….I had something on him and threatened to use it if he ever contacted me again. I never heard from him after that."

"What do you have on him?"

"I….I have pictures, police reports and sworn statements from physicians from the night he almost killed me-"

"You have those?"

"Yes….give me a minute I'll get them."

"Ana you don't need to," Christian says.

"I do, because if Jack is behind this they he may need to be reminded of what he wasn't supposed to contact me again," I say firmly.

It takes me only seconds to find the large envelope from the bottom of a drawer in the closet I now share with Christian. I had hoped that he would never need to see these pictures, but I'm not going to let my fear control me. If these pictures help keep Jack out of our lives than it's worth having him see them. When I return to Christian's office I open the envelope and give them each a folder that contains duplicate documentation.

"I'm going to fucking kill the bastard," Christian says.

"I'm adding a second guy on this case now; I have Barney and Welch digging up everything they can find on Jack Hyde."

"I want to know everything: where he came from, who is family is, where he went to kindergarten….EVERYTHING Taylor!"

"You'll be able to find his family information very quickly," I inform them.

"What do you mean?"

"His father is the reason Jack doesn't want any of this information leaked to the press. It would destroy his father-"

"Who is his father?"

"Senator Jon Michael Hyde Senior of New York."

"A senator? His father is fucking senator?" Christian asks.

"Jack was the black sheep of the family. He refused to go into politics despite what his father wanted for him. He should have….he was very persuasive and could convince you of anything he wanted. But he was more into art than anything else. When he learned I had pictures and documentation from that night and evidence from previous….arguments, he swore he would cease all contact with me if I agreed to keep it out of the press."

"None of this appears on your background check….and my background checks are very thorough Ana. How did you keep all of this out? The police reports, the medical exams….all of it should have been there," Taylor asks.

"I worked with a wonderful organization who helped me get away that night. As you can see from the pictures, I….I needed medical attention. They had a doctor on call who came to the shelter and treated my injuries. Since I didn't go to a hospital or even to a doctor's office, you're looking at the only evidence from that appointment. The same with the police report; the organization worked with several local detectives who would take sworn statements from victims. Those statements would never be filed, but would be documented should the abuse ever be questioned in the future. The detectives, the doctors and the staff from the shelter if questioned and with my permission, will confirm all the details from that night. They ensured my clean getaway from Jack and gave me the means to keep him out of my life."

"Are these the only copies?"

"No, I have a folder containing another copy of what you have along with a USB drive containing a digital copy of the documents in a safe deposit box at my bank."

"FUCK," Christian hisses.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Jon Michael Hyde Senior is dead."

 _Author's Note 2: Many thanks to one of my favorite reviewers who gave me the idea for this chapter but who doesn't want to accept credit for the idea. I struggled with how to tie Jack to Charlie Tango, but this reader had the perfect idea to bring them together. Thank you!_


	69. Chapter 69

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 69 CPOV:**

I'm going to kill that mother fucker! I'm going to find him and personally squeeze the last breath from his body for hurting Ana. I hated the guy from the moment Ana told me what he did to her, but seeing these pictures…seeing what he did to her just about kills me. I've never understood how a man could beat a woman that they supposedly loved; I will never understand how that bastard could hurt Ana like he did. Ana is….perfect; she doesn't deserve what that bastard did to her.

As I listen to Ana telling Taylor about the shithead's father, I can't seem to keep my eyes off of the pictures she gave us. Pictures of what she went through the night she left him; pictures that in her scared and pained state she agreed to have taken so she could keep the bastard away from her. The night Ana slept here, which seems like years ago at this point, she told me that she left the bastard after he nearly killed her. Hearing that was hard enough, but seeing these pictures brings up feelings that I've never had before. Sure, in high school I was involved in fights with other students but never to the point that I would seriously harm someone. After seeing these pictures, there is no doubt in my mind that if that bastard was in front of me right now I would kill him with my bare hands for what he did to her.

The pictures tell me everything she didn't about the night she left him. He squeezed her neck so tightly that each finger left a bruise on her soft, fair skin. Her eye is swollen shut from where I can only assume he punched her. Her lip is split and her ribs are bruised far more than they are after a rough helicopter landing. On her back, I can see old bruises starting to fade which I assume are from another time when he thought he could take his anger and frustration out on her. My stomach turns just looking at these pictures; I don't know that I will ever be able to close my eyes and not see Ana's bruised and bloodied body.

As I watch her talking to Taylor calmly, I'm even more impressed by her strength than I've ever been. I've known since the night she told me about her ex that she was strong, but after seeing the pictures I realize just how strong she really is. Not only did she have the strength to finally leave that fucker, but she had the strength to let someone take these pictures of her, to provide police statements and to even blackmail the bastard when he thought he could get her to come back to him. She's the strongest woman I've ever known; I know that I don't deserve her but I'm going to do everything possible to ensure that no one ever lays a hand on her beautiful body again.

Needing to do something other than stare at these photos, I take out my phone and start to search the bastard's father. In my business I have many friends in high places, several of which are involved in politics. With the information we now have about his son, a meeting with Mr. Hyde senior will guarantee his son either ceases all contact with Ana immediately or I will find a way to ruin his political career. Through GEH, I have several colleagues that are connected politically; a couple phone calls will be all it takes to end his career.

However, my plan is short lived when the first article that appears on google related to the senator is a link to his obituary.

"FUCK!" This explain everything; with the fucker's father dead Ana's threat to publically ruin him means nothing now.

"What's wrong?" Ana asks softly.

"Jon Michael Hyde Senior is dead."

"Noooooooo," Ana's voice tells me she is thinking the same thing I am.

"Taylor-"

"I'm on it, sir. I'm going to get Welch and Barney on this; give me a few hours and we will know everything there is to know about this fuc- er, low life, and his father."

"I want his finances pulled apart…both of their finances. Get Donnelly on it; make sure he leaves nothing unturned. I don't care the cost. Get someone closer to Hyde; I don't want to take any chance that he slips away because we're covertly watching him."

"Yes sir. All security codes at all of your properties were changed following the….incident and we remain at the highest level of security. There will be at least two CPOs assigned to each of you at all times when you leave Escala. Sawyer or myself will remain on duty at all times while you are here; someone will remain at Escala as well if you both need to leave for any reason although I highly recommend against it. Until we have the threat secured, it would be best if you both would remain here."

"We need to solve this issue Taylor; I refuse to have my life turned upside down because of this fucker."

"Yes sir. I'll update you as soon as we have more information. Ana….thank you for….sharing this with me. I know it wasn't easy for you."

"I…I really hope it's not him, that he isn't behind this," I watch a shiver go through Ana's body as she considers the possibility.

"If he is we will get him Ana," Taylor says firmly. "Whoever did this won't get another chance to hurt either of you."

When Taylor leaves the room, Ana's eyes remain fixed to the floor and I can practically hear her thoughts. I know she's blaming herself for this, but she couldn't be more wrong. Even if her ex was the one who sabotaged Charlie Tango, it wouldn't be her fault.

"Come here baby," I need to do something, I can't just let her sit there blaming herself. These damn crutches and the cast on my leg prevents me from rushing to her which is what I really want to do right now. When I lean down to pick up my crutches, deciding to go to Ana since she isn't coming to me, Ana is easing out of her chair and coming towards me. I don't say anything, instead I gently wrap my arms around her waist mindful of her stitches and urge her to sit on my lap.

"Christian I don't want to hurt you-" she pulls away from me when she realizes what I'm trying to do.

"You won't," I assure her and bring her down onto the leg that isn't broken. I arrange her so most of her weight is on that leg and her legs hang over my other thigh. I'm not as concerned about injuring my leg further as I am about leaving her to go to the hospital if that did happen. After seeing those pictures and learning that it's possible that the fucker was trying to go after Ana I can't stomach the thought of having Ana out of my sight.

"It's not your fault," I whisper and wrap my arms around her. I fight the urge to hold her tight against me, her broken ribs are the only thing from preventing me from doing that. I would never forgive myself if I hurt her.

"I'm sorry, so sorry Christian-"

"Stop Ana. You're the one who told me Charlie Tango going down wasn't my fault; you need to listen to yourself sometimes. This is NOT your fault. I won't let you blame yourself for that fucker's actions."

"But-"

"No, Ana. If he is the one behind this, he will pay; I'll make sure of it. But just because it turns out he is the one who sabotaged Charlie Tango, doesn't mean it is your fault. You did everything possible to keep him out of your life; you didn't ask him to come after you."

"I know; I just feel like I brought him into your life. If I never-"

"Stop right there. You need to stop blaming yourself baby. This isn't your fault. You wouldn't let me blame myself when I thought the person who sabotaged Charlie Tango was after me. I won't let you do the same thing. All that matter is that we've identified that bastard as a suspect so now we will have even more eyes on him. I'm so glad you remembered that his company was behind the advertising for Eurotek. Without that, we wouldn't have known to look at him closer."

"I'm surprised I remembered that at all; but we were there celebrating because this was a very large client for the advertising company. I remember thinking that he would be furious because when they named the key people involved in the project, his name was left out. He had put in many late nights working on the project so even I was surprised that his name wasn't mentioned."

"Is that what caused….?"

"It's hard to say. He wasn't mad in that moment, but he became furious when he stepped away from the table to get a drink and I started talking to the vice president of his company. Even though what we were talking about was on the list of allowed topics-"

"Allowed topics?" Seriously? He told her what she could talk to people about? Who the fuck does something like that?

"I told you he had rules….how much I could drink, what I could drink, what I would wear and even what I could talk about when we were at his business functions. He said that everything I did and said reflected on him and in turn his father, so it was important that I avoided any controversial topics or areas that I knew nothing about," she sighs heavily against me. "I know it sounds stupid, but at the time, how he said it made it perfect sense. At the time I didn't realize just how much I was allowing him to control my life. Looking back, I don't know how I didn't realize it in that moment."

"Sometimes you only see what you want to see," I may not have been in the same situation, but I know there were many things that I didn't see when I was with _her_ that I realized after the fact.

"He accused me of flirting with him, saying that I was going after him because he obviously earned much more than Jack did. It couldn't have been further from the truth. We were talking about gardening as he had struggled with deer; he knew I liked to garden as we had discussed it at previous events. Jack was furious I guess because the guy's wife was at home with their sick kid which for I guess for some reason made him think that I was trying to go after him. Jack said I let him stare at my chest without doing anything, but the truth was there was nothing I could do. He picked out my dress for that night, as he always did, which was cut very low in the front. He hadn't left out a wrap for me to wear so it wasn't like I could cover myself up. I didn't think he was staring at my chest, but he could have been…it's not like it could be avoided."

"Even if the guy had been gawking at your chest Ana, that bastard shouldn't have taken it out on you," I can't believe that fucker would beat her like he did for any reason, let alone because a coworker looked at her chest. Hell I was furious when I was Donnelly gawking at Ana's ass the day she met with him, but it never even occurred to me to think she was flirting with him. My anger that day was directing at him, never at Ana; he was the one who I found staring at her ass when I walked in.

"You're right, but it never stopped him. He always took his anger out on me, even when I had nothing to do with why he was angry or frustrated. I thought that part of my life was behind me, I didn't think I would have to deal with him ever again."

"You won't Ana; Taylor is going to get to the bottom of this and I promise you he will never hurt you again. He will never come near you, I will keep you safe Ana."

"I know you will," she whispers as she glances up at me with her eyes full of an emotion I can't place. Needing to feel her, I weave my fingers through her hair and bring her closer to me. My lips immediately find her soft ones as my other hand roams her beautiful body. After everything that just happened, after everything that I just saw, I need to feel Ana and to be closer to her. I have to remind myself to be gentle with her as I fight the urge to pull her tighter, closer to me. She shifts carefully, turning her body so she can wrap her arms around my neck. The softest moan escapes from her as my tongue caresses her lips. I will never understand how that bastard could hurt my Ana…

My Ana.

"I love you," I whisper against her lips.

"I love you too Christian."

She cuddles into my chest, her arms wrapping around my stomach as mine wrap around her back. Even though I don't fully understand why, it seems she needs this as much as I do right now. Or maybe she just senses what I need. Whatever the reason, having her in my lap against me is exactly what I need right now.

The rest of the day passes by quietly, my parents wanted to stop by to visit but I asked them to postpone the visit until tomorrow. Ana and I spend the rest of the day together, and after dinner we even cuddle up on the couch watching some romantic comedy movie that Ana exclaimed is her favorite the moment she saw it in the selection of movies available. With her head on a pillow on my lap, I can't help but think how lucky I am to have this beautiful woman in my life. Never would I have thought this is what I would be doing with a woman yet right now there is now where else I would rather be. If Ana hadn't come into my life, I would likely be sitting in my office either at GEH or in my office here working well into the night. Or maybe I would be at the Blue Moon, fucking some woman who meant nothing to me. I never realized how empty my life was before, how alone I really was. Even when _she_ was here, we never spent time like this together; if we weren't her bedroom or having a meal together we wouldn't be in the same room. I would be in my office and she would be doing whatever the hell it was she would do when I was busy. And I was fine with that arrangement. Yet now, it would have to be an emergency at GEH to pull me away from Ana.

"Baby? Do you want to go to bed?" I ask as I see her eyes start to close. Part of me wants to just leave her here so she can sleep but I know she needs to take her medication before bed and I don't think the couch would be the most comfortable spot for her to sleep in especially with her injuries. Hell if it weren't for this damn broken leg, I would just carry her to bed but even I know my limitations.

"I hadn't realized how tired I was until I laid down," she admits.

"We can finish this movie tomorrow if you want."

"Are you going to the office in the morning?"

"No. Taylor said it would be best if we both stayed here as much as possible, so I'm going to be working from home for at least the foreseeable future."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't," I quickly interrupt knowing what she was going to blame herself. "I have everything I need to work here and Andrea can have a messenger bring over anything important. Besides, it's easier to get around here on crutches than it is at GEH, and the company is much better."

"I'm looking forward to sleeping in our bed again," Ana says as she slowly gets up from the couch.

I gasp in surprise; for the first time Ana has referred to it as our bed, until now it's always been my bed. When Ana looks at me I quickly move from the couch, letting her think the gasp was somehow related to me trying to get up. I know how important it is for Ana to feel like she has something of her own, something that isn't mine, so I hope by her referring to it as our bed she is thinking of it truly has _our_ bed and not mine any longer. I could be reading too much into her choice of words, but I hope I'm not. We've done things completely backwards but I'm hoping she's starting to feel like this place is her home. For me, once we returned from Fiji my bed became our bed; I can't imagine her sleeping anywhere else. But I know for Ana things aren't that black and white; I learned that when she thought I would kick her out of the condo downstairs when we ended our arrangement. She saw that as my apartment, even after I told her she could stay as long as she needed to.

"Are you coming to bed?" Ana comes out of the bathroom after changing into her pajamas and finds me still standing next to our bed.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't realize how tired I was either," I lie.

I quickly hobble into the bathroom, wash up and throw on a pair of shorts to sleep in before hobbling back to the bedroom where Ana is already lying in bed waiting for me. I quickly turn off the light and climb into bed, sliding right next to her. She sighs as soon as my arms wrap around her and inches back towards me so her body is flush against mine. Within minutes of the light turning off, Ana has fallen asleep but I on the other hand can't seem to find sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see those pictures of what that bastard did to Ana. I see the imprints of his fingers around her neck and her eye that was swollen so badly that you can't see the beautiful blue that lights up when she smiles. I don't know that I'll ever be able to get those images out of my head. Normally when I can't sleep I would end up in my office working, but right now I'm content to lay here and watch Ana sleep. The only thing that makes me feel remotely better about this whole situation is knowing that the fucker who did this to Ana will never hurt her again.


	70. Chapter 70

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 70 CPOV:**

It's been ten fucking days since Charlie Tango went down and we are no closer to finding out what caused both engines to suddenly fail then we were when it first happened. Even though we are all convinced that Ana's ex had something to do with the engine's malfunctioning, we can't find the smoking gun to tie him to it. Taylor has a few friends in the FBI digging into Jack Hyde further, but on the surface we can't find any proof that he had anything to do with it. Jack Hyde remains under close observation at all times, but has not yet left the state of New York. The only thing we did manage to figure out was who leaked out hospital admission to the press; turns out the nurse that I tried to have fired after she took too long to respond to my page when Ana had her nightmare in the hospital managed to get herself fired by violating HIPPA laws. We have a lawsuit pending against her and her license has been suspended indefinitely. My father assures me that by the time this is done she will never work in the medical field in any state again. It took a few days, but the press has seemed to have lost interest in us although that's likely because we spent the last week in Escala except for when we both went to the hospital for follow up appointments.

"Sir?" Taylor knocks on my office door.

"Yes."

"Dr. Flynn has arrived for your session."

"Please send him in."

Although Flynn called once we were discharged from the hospital, this will be our first session since Charlie Tango went down. My focus this last week has been catching up on work missed at GEH and the constant monitoring of the investigation into Charlie Tango's sabotage. Even though Ana doesn't have a lot to keep her busy, she doesn't seem to be too upset about having to stay at Escala. Ginny from the bakery has come over a few times to update her on different things, which has helped not only with her boredom but also keeping her a key part of the bakery. I knew it would be difficult for her to take over the day to day operations of the bakery for some time because of the press, but after this incident having her at the bakery is too risky. We can monitor the entrances and the equipment, but we can't control who comes in and out of store. Ana told me last night that her and Ginny have been discussing the idea of hiring a manager who can handle those on site day to day tasks while Ana handles the back end of things. I'm hopefully that when this is behind us Ana will be able to return to the bakery, but right now the risk it too great. Thankfully she actually seemed excited about the idea of hiring a manager for the bakery. Since getting her stitches removed she is feeling much more mobile; so much so that she has spent the last two days in the kitchen trying out new recipes for the bakery. No one here is complaining though, especially not Taylor and Sawyer who are enjoying taste testing all of her creations.

"Christian, how are you?" Flynn pulls me from my thoughts a few minutes later.

"John, please come in. Thank you for coming here to see me, I know it's not typical-"

"Don't mention it Christian, I'm glad you finally agreed to a session."

"I've been busy; our focus has been on finding the fucker who did this."

"How's that going?"

"It's not. Everyone knows that Ana's ex is connected to the sabotage of Charlie Tango, but we can't prove anything."

"That must be incredibly frustrating for you."

"It is. I hate that we are held up here at Escala; are lives are basically fucking on hold until we find this bastard. It goes against everything I want to do."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to put my life on hold! I feel like he fucking wins this way!

"But you've agreed to do just that; why?"

"Because….it's not just about me anymore. We still don't know if the bastard is after me or Ana or both of us. What if I return to GEH and he comes after Ana? I can't let him get to her again John…not after what he did to her before."

"You mentioned that he was abusive towards her when they were together…."

"Fuck John, abusive isn't even the right word. He tried to fucking kill her! She…when she left, the organization who helped her leave….they took pictures of her injuries John. He squeezed her throat so tightly that his fingers left bruises around her neck. Her eye was practically swollen shut, her lip was split open…she had bruises all over her, new and old…" I shudder thinking of those pictures.

"You saw the pictures?"

"Yes, she showed me and Taylor them when we first realized that her ex was connected to Charlie Tango doing down."

"Those must have been difficult for you to see."

"I can't get them out of my mind John. Every fucking time I close my eyes at night, I see them. I've caught myself thinking of those pictures when I see Ana…I need to make it fucking stop John. I'm barely sleeping because I can't stop thinking about what that fucker did to her."

"Christian, not sleeping isn't healthy, especially when you're recovering from major trauma-"

"Don't you think I fucking know that? I want to sleep; I want to go back to the way things were before Charlie Tango went down. When I could just lay in bed and sleep next to Ana; fucking sleep all night long."

"Are you playing the piano still when you can't sleep?"

"No. I just stay in bed, watching her. I know that makes me sound crazy, but I feel better if I just watch her. It makes me feel that…"

"If you're watching her no one can hurt her again?"

"Yeah, exactly."

"Christian, I'm sure I don't need to remind you that this place is locked up tight and the chance of someone actually getting into your apartment is highly unlikely."

"I know that! But it's like when I close my eyes, I can't help seeing those pictures and thinking about the pain she must have felt that night. How scared she must have been. How that bastard hurt her."

"Have you considered how strong she felt that night? How liberating it must have felt for her to finally leave that bastard? How she might have considered that night the worst day of her life but also the first day of her new life?"

Well….fuck that actually makes a lot of sense.

"No."

"Christian, I think right now you're so focused on Ana's past that you're ignoring the person she has become. The person that you fell in love with so many months ago; the woman who has changed your life so completely that you're no longer just existing."

"You're right John. But, I can't unsee those pictures…I can't stop myself from seeing them."

"That's true Christian. You will never be able to unsee those pictures; but when you find yourself thinking about those pictures I want you to force yourself to think about the woman that Ana has become. Don't think about the woman she was; think about the woman you love and all the reasons you love her. Can you do that?"

The reasons I love Ana are endless; there are so many reasons I love her.

"Yes…I can do that."

"From everything you've told me, Ana is a very strong woman-"

"The strongest."

"She likely didn't always think of herself as strong. If I were to venture a guess, I bet the night she finally decided to leave that bastard who hurt her was the night she finally recognized how strong she really was."

"I could see that."

"Then remember that; remember her strength when you think of those pictures. And have confidence in your team to keep her safe."

"I'll try."

"How is Ana dealing with all of this? Do you think she needs a referral to speak with someone?"

"She's been in touch with her therapist from the shelter she stayed in when she moved to Seattle."

"Good."

"She seems to be doing okay; there have been a couple nightmares but they haven't lasted very long and she hasn't had any in a few days. Surprisingly she hasn't complained about being stuck here even though there isn't much for her to do."

"Don't let this situation take over your lives. Be sure to spend time with her, and when you do, don't spend the entire time talking about the investigation."

"That's a good point. I'll remember that."

"If you or Ana need anything Christian, you know I'm only a phone call away."

"I know John. Thank you again for coming here; we're still trying to stay here unless absolutely necessary."

"Anytime Christian. Remember what I said; your body needs rest to heal from the trauma. Focus on what I said when you see those images."

"I will."

I spend the rest of the day focusing in GEH business; I have several events and business dinners coming up that I need to attend. For the last week Roz has been attending on my behalf, but if I continue to miss important things people will suspect something is going on. Right now I think everyone is giving me a pass because of what happened with Charlie Tango, but that excuse can only be used for so long. Right now everyone thinks it was an accidental malfunction that caused Charlie Tango to go down; which is exactly what we want them to think. However, an accident doesn't justify why I'm not leaving the apartment.

After a call with Roz to follow up on a meeting she had last night over dinner with an owner of a company that we are trying to acquire, I realize just how important it is that I attend some of these dinners. So much of business occurs outside of the office; it's a key part of what we do. My next meeting is with Taylor and Sawyer to discuss my schedule for the next few weeks and how we can manage security at different events and dinners. Thankfully we have a few days before the first business dinner is scheduled which gives Taylor and Sawyer time to finalize all the details. While it would be easier to stay at Escala and continue to let Roz take care of these things, I can't rely on her to close all the deals. It's my name and face associated with GEH; people want to see and speak with me. It looks bad for GEH if I'm not there and losing business means people can lose jobs. I refuse to have people lose their jobs because of issues in my personal life. As long as Taylor can reassure me that security measures are in place and the risk is minimal, I need to get back out there. However, I made it clear to Taylor that if at any point he feels the risk is increased I will send Roz to the meeting in my place.

"Christian?" Ana knocks softly on my door.

"Come in baby," I rise to greet her using my crutches as support. I am looking forward to the day when I don't have to use the crutches and have this stupid cast on my leg.

"Gail has dinner prepared; I wasn't sure if you were too busy-"

"I'm not. Let's go have dinner."

Ana waits for me at the door, before leaving my office I lean down and kiss her soft lips. Her body immediately presses against mine; my hand goes to her hip as I try to hold her against me without losing the crutches from underneath my arms.

"Come, let's eat before our dinner gets cold," Ana blushes but steps aside so I can hobble out of the room while she closes the door behind us.

"So I have some news," Ana announces just as we finish with dinner. She seems a little nervous about whatever she is going to say although I'm not sure why she would be nervous.

"Oh?"

"I've decided to hire Mia to manage the bakery," Ana holds her breath and I realize she was nervous about my response.

"That's wonderful Ana; Mia must be so excited."

"I'm sure she will be. I….I haven't talked to her about it yet; I didn't want to say anything to her about it until I talked to you first."

"Did you think I would object?"

"I wasn't sure what you would think. I know you were nervous about me hiring Mia to begin with-"

"I was, only because I know Mia's track record of staying with a job for any length of time. But I know she's really happy working at the bakery; I think it's exactly what she has been looking for since she came back from Paris."

"That's exactly what she said when I talked to her the other day. I wanted to make sure you were okay with it before I spoke to her about the position. I know mixing family and business can be weird, so I didn't want to do it if you were uncomfortable with the idea."

"Ana, the bakery is yours. I told you that I will help you if you want, but this is your decision. If you're confident in Mia's ability, then go for it. If things get complicated down the road, I'll be here to help you if you need it. But, I don't see it becoming an issue. You two seem to work so well together-"

"We really do. She has some great ideas for the bakery but she only brings them up when asked. I know she doesn't want to feel like she is stepping on my toes, but her ideas are really good ones. She interacts so well with all the customers; her bubbly personality makes her a hit with everyone."

"I think she would be great as a manager for the bakery Ana."

"Really?"

"Really," I chuckle at her obvious excitement. "Offer her the position; it would be good for her to work with Ginny closer before Ginny begins to take her time off to visit her daughter."

"That's what I was thinking. Ginny wants to plan a trip soon, but with….with what just happened she was talking about waiting until things settle down and I can return to the bakery to manage things while she is gone-"

"Ana-"

"Obviously we don't know when things will be resolved but I don't want Ginny to have to wait. This way Mia can manage the bakery while it's open and then her and I can work together after hours. I spoke with Sawyer and he said I could probably start going to the bakery after hours to work with Mia and Ginny. Since the place would be closed and locked up there wouldn't be a risk…"

"No, I think that makes sense," I'm not thrilled with the idea of her leaving Escala but I know I can't keep her here forever. At least at Escala I know she is safe, but we can't keep putting our lives on hold because of this bastard. Just as I know GEH will suffer without me, I can't let Sweet Dreams suffer because Ana isn't there to see how things are going.

"Sawyer said he would speak to Taylor and make all the arrangements so that perhaps we could go one day this week."

"I met with them this afternoon; there are a few dinners and events coming up on my schedule in the next few weeks that I need to attend. They're beginning to arrange security and will determine which ones are too much of a risk for me to attend, but the others I'm planning on attending."

"Do you want me to….I mean…."

I know what she's trying to ask; it's still the awkward part of our arrangement. On one hand we are this normal couple, but on the other we have the underlying arrangement which is the entire reason we are even together right now. The reason that I signed the contract with Elena, the reason that I married Ana…it's still there and it's always awkward when it creeps back into our current situation. Part of me just want to say fuck the arrangement because things between us as a couple are going great, at least I think they are. But the other part of me can't help but worry; what happens if I fuck this up? I have no real experience in relationships so I'm bound to fuck it up big time. What then? What if I fuck it up and she leaves me? On top of being completely heartbroken and devastated, I could be ruined in the press. And what if I told Ana I wanted to tear up our contract and she didn't feel the same way? What if she liked the security of having it there? Until I know how Ana feels about it, I can't bring it up…even if a large part of me wishes it didn't exist.

"If Taylor feels that security won't be an issue, I would very much like you to come with me to a few of these boring dinners. There always better with you there," I squeeze her hand as she smiles at me.

"Just let me know, but I'm sure my schedule will be free," she giggles because we both know there isn't anything on her schedule and hasn't been since the Charlie Tango incident.

"I'm sure it will be," I chuckle and pull her closer to me so her body rests against mine. She lightly kisses my neck when I wrap my arms around her. Even with her stitches being removed I avoid the areas where they once were not wanting to take the chance of hurting her.

"I have a few hours' worth of work to get through tonight; if you keep that up I'll never get any of it done," I groan as she nibbles on my ear causing my dick to stir.

"And that would be a bad thing?" I can feel her smile against me.

"I really need to finish this. Give me a few hours and I'll come to bed."

"Okay," I hear the disappointment in her voice when she pulls away. "I'll be in the library if you need me."

She walks slowly out of the room and I immediately feel like shit. I've been avoiding her in a sense; we haven't been intimate since Charlie Tango. Initially I blamed it on her injuries and not wanting to hurt her further. But her stitches were removed a few days ago and she made it clear that her doctor had given his okay for her to resume most her normal activities, including sex.

As I sit at my desk, I can't help but replay my session with Flynn earlier. I know he's right; I need to stop thinking of Ana as the woman in those pictures. I need to stop seeing those images every time I close my eyes. The Ana in those pictures is not the Ana upstairs in my library or the Ana that just kissed me at the dinner table or the Ana that I had wrapped in my arms last night. The Ana in those pictures is not the woman who faced her own fears by placing my tie around her wrists so we could make love before we left Fiji.

Realizing what an ass I have been, I head out of my office to find Ana. It takes me way too long to make my way up the stairs on the crutches but after several minutes I finally reach the top. I take a few minutes to catch my breath, surprised at how much energy it just took to hobble up the flight of stairs. I can't wait for this cast to be off; I seriously need to get back in shape. The door to the library is open just a crack and I take a moment to watch Ana. She is curled up in the oversized loveseat that I had Taylor arrange for her the day she moved in and fell in love with this room. She looks so relaxed, as if she doesn't have a care in the world despite the fact that her ex likely just tried to kill us both. In that moment I realize just how right Flynn was – Ana truly is one of the strongest women I know.

"Christian! What are you doing up here? How did you-"

She is in front of me within seconds me entering the room and I quickly quiet her by kissing her hard on the lips. It takes her only a moment to get over the shock of what I did and to kiss me back. Her arms are around my neck, her body pressed against mine. This woman, this beautiful woman, is all mine and I want her so bad. I need to make up for the ass I've been; I need to take hours to worship her beautiful body. But right now, the only thing I can think of is how much I've missed the way her body feels against mine.

"I need you," I whisper against her lips as I struggle with the need to touch her and the need to hold up these god damn crutches.

"Do you want to go back downstairs to our-"

"No…it's been too long. I can't wait," I know I sound weak but right now I can't think of anything other than making love to Ana.

Without saying a word, she pulls away from me slowly and walks over to the love seat she was laying on when I walked in. I follow her over there, faster than I think I've ever moved on the crutches. Leaning on the chair for support, I drop the crutches to the floor and pull Ana between my legs.

"You're beautiful," she has changed out of the jeans and shirt she was wearing at dinner. She is now in a pair of silk shorts and a matching silk tank top. Her hardened nipples confirm that she is no longer wearing a bra either. My hands roam her body, loving the way the silk feels against her skin.

"Christian," she moans when my fingers slide over her nipples and her hips involuntarily move against mine. As I much as I wanted to spend hours worshipping her body, I quickly realize that will likely have to wait until round two. Right now it's taking everything in me not to tear off her clothes and sink into her.

"I've missed you Ana…so fucking much. I'm so sorry-"

"Shhhhh….you don't have to apologize."

"I do-"

"I missed you so much Christian. I need you; make love to me…."

And I lose it right there; her words are my undoing. I slowly lift the silk top over her head, tossing it out of the way before pushing her shorts to the floor. She steps out of them before taking her thong off, leaving her standing completely naked in front of me. I wrap my arms back around her, pulling her against me so I can feel every inch of her beautiful body. She moans the moment I slide my hand between her legs; her hands come between us so she can unbutton my shirt. Her movements are slow and clumsy as she tries to focus on what she is doing and now on what I'm doing to her clit right now.

"Christian!" she gasps as I slip a finger into her warm, slippery sex. With one hand on her sex and the other teasing her hardened nipples, her arousal kicks up a notch as her hands move all over me. I never thought I would enjoy someone touching my chest, but with Ana it only turns me on further. My dick is strained against the zipper of my shorts, begging for a release. Ana must realize this because she reaches between us and within seconds frees me.

"So fucking beautiful," I groan when she wraps her hand around me tightly.

With pants and underwear still around my ankles, I hold Ana tightly and sit in the soft love seat. Ana follows me, immediately straddling her legs over mine. With my cast our options are pretty limited, but right now all that matters is reconnecting with Ana. It's been too long since I've been inside of her; too long since I've made love to her. I realize right then and there that we haven't made love since the morning after we admitted our feelings to each other. In some ways that seems like so long ago, but the reality is it's only been a short time since we admitted what we both tried so hard to deny.

"I need…." My strong, confident voice is gone replaced with need and desire.

Without saying a word, Ana reaches between us and guides my throbbing dick to her hot, silky center before lowering herself onto me. Her eyes find mine, widening as she stretches to accommodate me; it takes everything me not to thrust into her but at the same time I love the way she slowly sinks onto me. She wraps her hands around my neck, rising slightly before sinking back down taking me in completely.

"Oh God," she gasps when I thrust up into her, pushing myself into her even more.

"I'm not going to last long…Ana….it's been too long."

With that, she starts moving against me, holding onto the back of the loveseat for support as she rides me. With her eyes closed, her head falls back as her movements quicken as she chases her orgasm. I can't take my eyes off of her; I watch the way her mouth opens in the perfect O shape, the way her breasts bounce with each movement and the way her lips are wrapped around my dick as she moves against me. I watch as she takes complete control of our love making; something that I have never allowed another woman to do. I've never made love to anyone except Ana, but I've also never let a woman take control during sex. I've always been in complete control; I've always been the one who decides when and how she comes. But with Ana, it's never been like that. And right now, she is in complete control.

"Christian," she moans putting far too many syllables in my name.

Her walls start clutching me, trying to milk the orgasm from me and it takes everything in me not to come. I can feel how close she is; I can see how close she is by the way her skin is flush and her breathing has increased. Her movements are becoming more purposeful as she approaches her release. I'm gritting my teeth as I can feel my own release threatening to spill over…

"Come baby," I beg her…yet another thing I've never done with anyone other than Ana. I've never begged a woman before.

Whether my words are her trigger or something else is, Ana's movements change; she begins riding me harder and faster. Her head falls to my shoulder; she slides nearly completely off of me and then slams herself back onto me causing us both to moan in absolute pleasure. Knowing I won't last more than a few more seconds, I reach between us and pinch her nipples.

"CHRISTIAN!" I pull her down hard at the same time that I thrust into her sending us both over the edge together. Her body continues to convulse around me as she collapses on my chest; with my hands firm on her hips I move her against me letting us both ride out the last waves of our release.

I can't believe I let that fucker deter me from making love to Ana; I vow in that moment never to allow anyone or anything prevent me from doing this ever again. When we're together like this, everything is perfect – it's as if the outside world doesn't exist.


	71. Chapter 71

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 71 APOV:**

Wow….just WOW. There are no other words to describe what we just did. The last thing I expected tonight was to make love to Christian in the library. I don't know why, but even after the doctor cleared me a few days ago Christian hasn't seemed interested in being intimate. I'm sure it had something to do with everything we've been through lately and the stress of trying to find out who was responsible for trying to crash the helicopter. Whatever the reason was, I'm glad that we've moved past it. As I lay against Christian's lap with his arms around me, I realize how much I've missed this connection. I've never felt so connected to someone as I do with Christian and each time we make love I feel even closer to him than before. I sigh when he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight against his bare chest as my fingers comb through his hair. I'm so relaxed I could fall asleep right here, but I know this can't be entirely comfortable for Christian.

"Do you want to go to bed….or did you still have work to do?"

"I still have work to do," he sighs. "But, I'm going to come to bed with you instead."

"Are you sure? I don't mind-"

"I'm sure, let's go to bed."

I lift myself off of him, immediately feeling empty, and grab the closest thing to the chair to slip into which happens to be Christian's shirt. As I finish buttoning the shirt my eyes meet Christian's which are watching my every move.

"Earth to Christian…"

"You look so fucking sexy baby," he tugs at the bottom of the shirt and brings me closer to him so I'm standing in between his spread legs. "I've never seen anyone look so sexy in my shirt before. Let's go to bed so I can strip you out of the shirt."

I blush at his words before grabbing his crutches and handing them to him. After slipping on his boxer briefs, he pulls himself up on the crutches, wobbling a little before gaining his strength. I quickly gather the pajamas I was wearing and the shorts Christian had on all of which somehow ended up nearly half way across the room and follow Christian out of the library. He pauses at the top of the stairs looking down and it only hits me then how difficult it must have been for him to get up the steps to find me.

"Why don't we sleep in the guest room up here?" I suggest not wanting him to hurt himself trying to make it back down the steps when he's obviously tired.

"I'm fine," he says.

"I know, but come on…" I gesture towards the door only a couple feet away from us. He doesn't say anything but turns to follow me to the room that I stayed in when I first moved in with Christian. I haven't slept in this room since we left for our wedding and honeymoon. I came back in here a couple times after the honeymoon for clothes, but it was only a few days after we returned that Christian had arranged for Gail to move my clothes into Christian's closet.

We both use the bathroom before turning of the light and climbing into bed. The bed isn't as big as the one in Christian's room, but it doesn't really matter since we always sleep the same way – with me wrapped in Christian's arms. I think no matter how big the bed was we would still end up sleeping the exact same way. As I lay in Christian's arms, with his warm body pressed against mine, I can't help but think about how much has changed since the last time we were in this bed together.

"Do you remember the night you slept with me in here?" I ask.

"It was the weekend I had that awful food poisoning."

"It was."

"I had such a hard time falling asleep that night…."

"Because it wasn't your bed?"

"No, because you were in here."

"I don't follow…."

"I felt this incredible urge to come in here that night….before your nightmare I mean. Hell, when I came to bed, I even stopped at your door but convinced myself to go into the other room. But when you turned the shower water on…Fuck it took everything in me not to barge in there."

"Really? You were…attracted to me even then?"

I had no idea; I thought he still thought of me as just a business arrangement back then. I had no idea he saw me as anything more. Christian kissed me for the first time that night, after my nightmare but I thought that was more of a spur of the moment thing and hadn't realized he was attracted to me before then.

"Fuck Ana, you've turned me on since the day I met you."

"The day I was covered in rain water and dirt on the side of the street?" Surely he can't mean that day…he must be referring to the day we met at the Mile High Club.

"Yes, believe it or not after that day all I could think about was getting you beneath me. I had all these images of fucking you but something about the way you looked at me made me realize that you would never be interested in a one night stand which was all I could offer you at that time."

"Yeah, I definitely wouldn't have been interested in that," I agree.

"I knew that….but it didn't make me stop wanting you."

"I didn't realize…."

"That's one of the things that makes you even sexier…you have no idea how truly beautiful you are," his breath is a whisper against my ear sending chills through my entire body. "Holding you that night in here, sleeping next to you….was the first time I slept peacefully I think in my entire life."

"That night….it was the first time I felt safe…ever."

"I meant what I said to you that night Ana, I'm going to do everything possible to see that no one ever hurts you again. If your ex is behind Charlie Tango going down then he will pay; if it was someone else they will pay as well. No one will hurt you again."

"I love how protective you are Christian. I know you'll do whatever you can to keep me safe."

"I love you Ana."

"I love you too Christian."

Like every other night, I fall asleep wrapped in Christian's arms still amazed at how things have changed between us since the first night we slept in this bed together. I never would have thought that less than a year later I would be head over heels in love with Christian and that he would feel the same way about me. I never would have thought that by signing that contract with Elena that my life would change this drastically. All I was hoping for when I signed the contract was to not have to work so many hours each day, find a safer place to live and maybe one day go back to school. I never expected or even wanted to find love out of the arrangement.

I know the smile is still on my lips when I fall asleep a little while later after Christian's arm tightens around my waist essentially anchoring me to him. Making love to Christian in the library must have put my body into overdrive as for the first time ever my dreams are kind of erotic. We're on Christian's boat, the wind is gentle but cool against my warm skin. The boat rocks gently in the water; Christian has anchored us in a secluded area where no one can see us. We're both lying on the lounge chairs relaxing, listening to the sounds of nature instead of the busy city that we left a few hours ago. Christian rolls onto his side, he lightly caresses my body slowly making his way from my hardened nipples to my damp sex.

"Christian!" His fingers slip beneath my bikini bottoms just as the rest of him moves to kneel at the bottom of my seat. I frantically look around, worried that another boat could come by at any point and see what we're doing.

"Ohhhhhhh….." Any logical thoughts leave my mind when I feel Christian's mouth against my sex. When did my bottoms of my bathing suit come off? His mouth is on my sex, openly kissing me, making me forget everything. My body feels like it's on fire, and not from the sun beating on us overhead. When Christian slips a finger into me and his mouth moves onto my clit, I nearly combust right there.

"Come for me baby…let me taste you," a voice grumbles against my sex, the vibrations pushing completely over the edge.

"Oh GOD!" I scream out; my eyes fly open which is only when I realize that I'm not on the boat but instead I'm lying in the guest bedroom.

"I've missed how you taste baby," Christian moans from between my legs when I realize only part of my dream was really a dream. His hands are gripping my thighs holding me open to him as he laps at the evidence from my orgasm moments ago. Christian groans as I pull him away from my sex and guide him next to me. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me against him. He kisses me and I taste myself on his lips which is strangely arousing. I wrap my leg around his thighs which brings his erection against my still throbbing sex.

"Ana…." Christian moaning my name has to be the sexiest thing I've ever heard.

I reach between us and guide him into me as I push my hips against him; he fills me immediately and completely.

"You feel amazing baby, so fucking good," he whispers holding me against him as he slowly moves within me.

"I've missed you Christian; I've missed this."

"Me too baby. I'll never let something come between us again, I promise."

I want to ask what he means, but when his fingers tease my nipple I forget what it was I wanted to ask him in the first place. We move together, as if we are one, both of us seeking out our own release while trying to bring the other pleasure. When Christian's grunts become louder, his movements become more purposeful telling me he is holding back his own release wanting me to come again. The fingers that were teasing my nipple slip between our bodies to the spot where we are joined, easily finding my clit. A few strokes and pressure is all it takes for me to find my release; Christian thrusts into me several more times before calling out my name moments before I feel his release deep within me.

"Fuck Ana," he pants.

"That was….yeah."

"Let me go get something to clean up with," Christian says a few minutes later when our breathing has begun to return to normal.

"I'll get it-"

"No, let me."

"Christian-"

He is out of the bed before I have a chance to point out that it would be easier for me since I'm not the one on crutches. He comes back a few minutes later with a damp washcloth; he gently wipes away the evidence of our releases before tossing the washcloth to the floor and climbing back into bed with me.

"I can't believe you woke me up like! I thought I was dreaming," I giggle.

"I couldn't resist," he chuckles. "At some point during the night the shirt moved and I could feel your bares against me."

"My shirt just happened to move?" I smirk.

"Okay, well maybe it had a little help."

"Just a little."

"I really don't want to leave you, but I have an early morning conference call I need to get ready for."

"I have a meeting with Mia and Ginny later today anyway that I want to-."

"You're going to the bakery? I thought we agreed that you would go after it was closed? I don't think-"

"Calm down," I put my hand on his chest. "The bakery isn't open on Sundays."

"Oh."

"You're right though; if I were going to the bakery it would be after hours. Ginny and Mia are going to come here so we can discuss the upcoming holidays."

"Does business usually pick up around the holidays?"

"The catering side of the bakery does. Companies are having holiday parties and we cater a few private parties as well. I found a few ideas for holiday themed items that I thought I would try to make before they came. I don't want anything too cheesy but I thought we could offer something just around the holidays."

"I think that's a great idea Ana. Just let Sawyer and Taylor know if you need anything from the market and they will pick it up for you."

"I know Christian; I'm not going anywhere you don't need to worry."

"Can't help it."

"You have a conference call on a Sunday morning?"

"It was the only time that worked for everyone."

"That kind of sucks."

"Yeah, but if we can negotiate a deal it will be worth it."

"Let's get washed up and I'll make us breakfast."

I spend the morning baking with Gail; even though it was her day off when she heard me in the kitchen earlier she came out to see what I was doing. Turns out she is a fan of Sweet Dreams as well, so she loved the idea of helping me try out a few recipes and designs for a few new holiday items. The struggle is to find something classy and elegant but what can't take too long to make since we need to be able to produce these in mass quantities. The more I thought about it the more I loved the idea of offering something just around the holidays that hopefully people would look forward to at this time each year. It's too soon to do something for Thanksgiving but with winter around the corner we have just enough time to come up with something to offer our customers.

By the time Mia and Ginny arrive, Gail and I have the dining room table covered in samples excluding the few that Christian and Taylor managed to sneak whenever they came into the kitchen. It was great spending time talking with them about the bakery; it's been hard not being able to be there every day but I know right now safety needs to come first. Mia and Ginny reassured me that everything is going well and that they don't mind that I'm not able to be there every day.

Mia was so excited when I offered her the manager position; she screamed which sent Taylor and Christian running into the dining room thinking something was wrong. When they realized it was Mia screaming and that no one was hurt they shook their heads and returned to what they were doing. Even though Mia had no idea this was coming, she brought along some ideas to the meeting to increase our online presence. Our goal is by the new year to have a completely redesigned website where customers could place large orders or email the catering consultant directly. We decided that while I'm working remotely, I will monitor the catering orders and will work directly with Mia to have the orders prepared. My holiday items were a hit and we chose several that we will be offering this winter on a trial basis.

Ginny was impressed and actually had tears in her eyes by the end of the meeting. At first I was worried that she didn't like the direction we were taking, but she quickly explained that she loved to see the bakery growing. She admitted that her daughter had been after her for the last few years about developing an online presence but that she was too comfortable with where the bakery was at to change things. Even though Ginny is moving away, it's important to me that what made Sweet Dreams so popular be maintained. Her recipes and dedication to our customers will remain top priority.

 _Author's Note: I know it's short, but time wasn't on my side this week and I won't be able to update next week so I really wanted to get something out today. Thank you all for your reviews and PMs. I love reading who everyone thinks is responsible for Charlie Tango going down and your reactions to Christian thinking about their arrangement._


	72. Chapter 72

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 72 CPOV:**

"Where are we with the investigation Taylor?" Ana and I have pretty much been cooped up in this damn apartment for nearly an entire fucking month and I'm done with putting my life on hold because of this fucker.

"Jack Hyde has not left the state of New York since we've had him under surveillance; if he is behind Charlie Tango's sabotage he did not physically do it himself."

"No, I don't think he is smart enough to do it himself. What are his financials like? Could he have paid someone to do it for him?"

"We're tracing some funds that he has in an off shore account but you know how difficult it is to obtain details on those transactions sir."

Of course I know; I personally have an off shore account myself for that very purpose. It was how I paid for my membership at the Blue Moon, how I paid contractors to build a playroom and most recently how I paid Elena for when I had a contract with her. By using the off shore account no one could trace the money; there was no chance of anyone finding out that I belonged to a BDSM club, paid for companionship or enjoyed fucking women roughly. And now it seems that fucker is using an off shore bank account to do the same thing I did – to hide his moves.

"Anything from the investigators?"

"It is confirmed sabotaged. The fuel lines were cut and the electrical system was fixed so that instead of the second engine taking over when the first one failed it would also fail. The investigator was surprised that the helicopter didn't burst into flames based on the fuel leak alone; he said if you had flown for even a few minutes longer he believes the engine would have exploded-"

"Fuck."

"He suggested we look for someone who has working knowledge of electrical systems as the damage done was extensive. Based on his investigation he believes we are likely looking for someone strong in the electrical industry but not necessarily someone how has experience with helicopters or planes-"

"Why does he think that?"

"The investigator said if the desired result was death, there were many other ways to bring down Charlie Tango that would have guaranteed no survivors. Cutting the fuel lines and changing over the electrical system left too many options for the plan to fail and took too much time. He believes the person who did this used the skills he had and tried to find a way to sabotage the flight based on those skills. All he would have needed to accomplish this would have been some diagrams from the manufacturer."

"So we're looking for a fucking electrician? Because there aren't thousands of those in Seattle alone?"

"Right now we are still operating under the assumption that Jack Hyde is involved; there are too many coincidences for him not to be involved. I may be wrong here sir, but my gut says he's involved somehow."

"I agree. The fact that he worked on the marketing plan for Eurotek gave him direct access to the company information and contacts plus with his father dead he has no reason to fear his past being known to the public. I assume he inherited money from his father's estate when he passed?"

"Not as much as you would think. It appears the senator left most of his money to several local charities and a very large portion to his long time assistant-"

"Interesting…"

"Jack only inherited a small portion of his father's estate but it would have likely been enough to hire someone to sabotage Charlie Tango."

"So we find the electrician expert through Hyde."

"That's the angle we are working right now."

"No other threats have been received? Nothing against GEH? No other red flags?"

"No sir."

"Ana hasn't mentioned any other text messages-"

"She isn't receiving them sir because Barney has changed the settings on her phone so that she no longer receives any blocked or private numbers."

"So we don't know if the texts are still being sent?"

"We don't know sir."

"Have you looked into Leila like I asked?"

Although Leila wasn't the only woman I fucked at The Blue Moon she was the one I refused to fuck the last time I was there. I don't know Leila well – fuck I can't even tell you where she lives or what her last name is – so I can't say if I think she would have sent those text messages.

"It took some work to find out her identity before we could run a background check on her, but everything we have found has come up clean so far. However Barney believes the calls sent to Mrs. Grey were coming from a disposable cell phone therefore it is unlikely we are going to find the phone registered to Leila that the text messages came from."

"Anything else come up about her that I should know?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary sir. Based on the text messages that Mrs. Grey received I think it's obvious whoever sent them was a member of The Blue Moon and likely knew you from there. But as you know we cannot access their client list so we don't have a full list of suspects."

"Keep an eye on Leila; I am fairly confident she would be the one behind texts out of everyone I was….with there."

"Understood sir."

"I will be returning to work tomorrow Taylor. Make whatever arrangements are necessary but I'm done putting my life on hold for this fucker. I have several events on my schedule that I can't ignore any longer."

"Understood sir. I have been in contact with Andrea regarding your schedule and have already started looking into some of the events."

"Any that concern you especially at this time?"

"Honestly sir, they all concern me to some degree however I think with extra security on site prior to and during the events we should be fine."

"Hire whoever is necessary, but I'm done hiding. The press is getting suspicious that I haven't been seen in public in several weeks."

"Yes sir. We will be prepared for you to return to GEH starting tomorrow. What are Mrs. Grey's plans?"

"She will not yet be returning to the bakery, at least not during normal business hours. The risk is still too great-"

"Agreed sir."

"If she leaves Escala I want two people on her at all times; one needs to be Sawyer. She is most comfortable with him and he knows her well enough to know if something were to bother her suddenly."

"Yes sir, I agree that Sawyer should be with Mrs. Grey as well."

"There's a campaign fundraiser on my schedule for this weekend-"

"Yes sir, in Boston."

"I'd like to attend the fundraiser; the senator is proposing a bill that would make doing business there much easier. GEH is looking into a company there and our decision to acquire it or walk away depends heavily on whether or not this bill were to pass. Plus there will be a few other key players there that would be worth talking to. While I'd prefer to be there myself, if you tell me the risk is too great I will send Roz in my place. I know the location isn't ideal given it's across the country-"

"I have already looked into it sir and actually this is probably one of the safest places for you to be-"

"Meaning?"

"In addition to the senator, there are several high profile officials expected at the meeting therefore security will be at the highest level. Attendance is by invitation only so we do not need to worry about anyone sneaking in who does not belong there. The security firm that is contracted to provide services for the event is ran by an old army buddy of mine who I trust completely. I can arrange for a few of his staff to assist us while we are on the ground there."

"Any transportation concerns?"

"GEH's jet has been under video surveillance since Charlie Tango went down and we have moved it to a different facility for storage. The maintenance crew has been changed out to eliminate any chance that the person who tried to sabotage Charlie Tango will try something with the jet. Additionally, Roz flew on it late last week with no problems."

"Make the arrangements necessary. I would like to fly in on Friday and fly back on Monday possibly Tuesday. I'd like to spend some time with Ana in Boston…"

"Yes sir. I'll make the arrangements."

I hobble back to my office, thankful that the crutches are now gone and that I'm only using this stupid boot. I couldn't return to GEH while I was on crutches given that the PR department indicated that Charlie Tango experienced an emergency landing as it would have raised too many questions. The boot I am passing off as a hiking injury which wouldn't raise any questions as the staff I work closely with know I go hiking often. Roz and Andrea both know what really happened to Charlie Tango but other than Welch and Barney no one else at GEH knows the truth.

"Christian?" Ana knocks softly on my door.

"Come in baby," I meet her half way across the office and immediately kiss her loving the way her lips feel against mine. As much as I want to get back to GEH tomorrow, this is the thing I will miss the most about working from home. Over the past few weeks Ana and I have had lunch together every day; it started one of the first days I was working from home after being released from the hospital. Gail asked me what time I wanted lunch but instead of Gail bringing it in Ana brought it for me along with a lunch for herself. We would sit at the table in here and eat together; sometimes I would be on a call but Ana would still stay and have her lunch with me. Ever since that first week I have had Andrea leave at least a thirty minute opening in my schedule each day so I could have lunch with Ana.

"What's wrong?" I see the worry in her eyes the moment the kiss ends.

"The press-"

"What did they do now?"

She hands me her phone with the browser already brought up:

 ** _Is there trouble in paradise already?_** _  
It has been nearly a month since Mr. and Mrs. Grey have been seen in public; is there marriage already over? Sources close to GEH report that neither Mr. Grey nor his wife have been to GEH in several weeks. According to GEH staff, Mr. Grey has been traveling for work, visiting some of their companies outside of Seattle. However we have to wonder, where is Mrs. Grey and what is she doing while her husband is traveling? Or should we be asking what is Mr. Grey doing while he is traveling?_

 ** _Christian Grey is single again ladies!_** _  
According to our source, Christian Grey is about to be single again! Our source, a close friend of the billionaire playboy, reports that Mrs. Grey moved out of their residence several weeks ago and that a divorce is eminent._

I can't believe these fuckers! One implies that Ana is having an affair but then changes and says I'm the one having the affair while the other has Ana moving out of Escala. I knew we were taking a chance that the press would print something when we went into hiding however announcing that my marriage is over is a new low, even for them.

"I'm sorry…." Ana says clearly seeing my anger.

"I expected them to write something since it has been awhile since we've been in the public eye."

"Why don't we go out tonight?"

"We don't need to-"

"I think we should. If nothing else it will show them that there is nothing wrong with our marriage and hopefully they will back off."

"I doubt that, but you're right it probably couldn't hurt."

"You have a call in a few minutes right?" I nod. "I'll talk to Taylor and see where he suggests we go."

"You sure you feel up to it?"

"I wouldn't mind getting out of the apartment," she giggles, a sound I have come to absolutely love.

"Me either," I chuckle. "Oh by the way, how would you feel about going to Boston this weekend?"

"Boston?"

"Yeah, Boston. Have you ever been there?"

"No, by I've heard it's a beautiful city. Do you do to business in Boston?"

"Not yet. There is a campaign fundraising dinner next weekend for a senator who is proposing a bill that could have an impact on an acquisition that GEH is looking into. I thought we could go to the dinner and spend the weekend in Boston taking in some of the sites."

"Have you been there….to Boston I mean?"

"Only for business. I've never really seen the city."

"It's safe for us to go?"

"I've spoken with Taylor; this event will be well covered by security because of the people who are attending. It is by invitation only so we have an idea of the guests; plus Taylor knows the guy who is in charge of security for the entire event."

"We would be taking the jet?"

"Yes, we've made all the necessary security changes and it is under video surveillance 24/7," I reiterate everything Taylor told me wanting to ease her fears about flying again. If she were to tell me that she wasn't comfortable flying again or traveling right now I would send Roz to Boston in a heartbeat.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. I've heard Boston is an amazing city to visit-"

"Are you okay going? I mean after what happened?"

"Am I nervous about flying again? Yes of course, but Christian I think I will always be nervous about flying. I'm not ready to get back into a helicopter and maybe I won't ever be, but I can handle flying on a plane-"

"Are you sure? If you don't want to or think it will be too much I can send Roz in my place."

"No Christian. I'm tired of putting my life on hold because of what happened. I trust you and Taylor; if Taylor believes it's safe to take the jet and that we will be safe in Boston then I want to go."

"God, I love you Ana," I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her against me loving the way she feels against my chest. I love how strong and determined Ana is even if she herself doesn't realize how strong she truly is. It would have been so easy for her to say she wasn't ready or didn't want to go to Boston rather than actually getting on the plane and flying there.

"I love you too Christian. Now go do whatever it is you do all day; I'm going to go talk to Taylor about where we can go tonight."

She giggles before heading out of my office and I head back to my desk to dial into the conference call that is going to start in less than five minutes. I spend the rest of the afternoon on conference call after conference call and before I know it Ana is at my door.

"We need to leave in an hour," she announces.

"Where are we going?"

"There's a small benefit dinner starting at seven that Taylor was able to get us a last minute invitation to."

"What's the dinner benefiting?" I don't know that it really matters at this point since we really do need to be seen in public.

"Some new piece of equipment for the pediatric unit of the hospital; I forget what Taylor said it was called but it sounds like there will be a presentation during the dinner."

"How did you manage to find something for us to attend on only a few short hours that will actually make a difference?" I ask in awe. If I had organized it, we probably just would have gone to dinner somewhere and hoped that someone would have informed the press of our whereabouts. Instead of doing that, Ana manages to find a something that will most definitely have press coverage at while keeping the event small for our first appearance in the press since Charlie Tango.

"That's what the internet is for," she smirks. "There's only supposed to be around one hundred people at the dinner but of course when Taylor made a call the hospital had no problems adding us to the guest list-"

"They shouldn't considering the amount of money I donate to their facility every year."

"I thought something small would be best for tonight and this seemed perfect. Taylor handled the payment arrangements for the dinner…"

"Thank you for organizing everything Ana."

"It gave me something to do," she shrugs.

"Ana, I'm sorry you've been cooped up in the apartment for the last few weeks-"

"Don't apologize Christian, it's not your fault we are in here. I may not love being stuck in the apartment, but I understand why it's needed. I'm looking forward to getting out tonight and even more so heading to Boston with you this weekend."

"Let's go take a shower so I can show you just how thankful I am for you organizing everything tonight."

"Christian!" she blushes an adorable shade of pink before turning around and heading to our bedroom.

I quickly follow her into our bathroom, closing the door behind us just as she turns the water on. The site of her leaning into the shower has an immediate effect on me, as she always does. Before she even turns around I'm hard as granite as the thought of Ana naked in my shower. No matter how many times we have showered in here together, I don't think I will ever get used to the idea of having her in here.

"We need to get in the shower if we're going to get to the dinner on time," she whispers as I pull her against me, her back to my front.

Without another word, I strip Ana of her clothes and she does the same to me. As soon as we step into the shower, my lips find hers and I pull Ana's beautiful body against mine. She groans against my mouth when I back her against the cool tile wall. My hands roam over her wet skin, feeling the small goosebumps on her arms as she arches her body against mine. She gasps when I tease her nipples; with my lips still on hers I grab her ass and bring her against me so her clit is against my dick. I don't move, instead I let her body do what it wants; whether she realizes what she is doing or not she slowly starts grinding her clit against me. Her hands are tight on my arms, holding me against her while I work her nipples until she is moaning in desperation.

"Christian…" her voice is breathy as she pants.

"Yeah baby?"

"I…I need you."

"Put me inside of you," I whisper against her lips.

Her eyes pop open with my words, her face turning an even darker shade of red likely at the bluntness of my words but when I nudge my dick against her clit her own needs overrides any embarrassment or concern. Her hand reaches between us, taking my dick in her hand she lifts herself up so I can reach her core. I bend just slightly providing the perfect angle to slide into her, but rather than thrusting right into her like I want to her I wait for Ana. With her hand on the base of my dick, she pushes me into her ever so slowly. Looking down it takes everything in me not to come as I watch my dick slowly disappear into her body. She leaves one hand on my dick and with the other on my hip she pulls me closer to her until there is no longer space between us for her hand. My hands grab her ass and she squeals as I lift her, letting her sink even further onto me until I swear my dick is against her cervix.

"You feel so fucking amazing Ana."

"Christian…please….." she starts slowly moving her body against me.

"Oh fuck baby," with her back against the wall and her hands gripping my shoulders tightly I thrust hard and deep into her causing her to immediately explode around me. Her walls convulse around me, gripping me so tightly that moving isn't an option. As much as I want this to last I don't stand a chance when her body purposely tries to suck me deeper into her.

"Ana…."

"Christian!"

Fuck! Ana comes again just as I find my release; her own orgasm pulling every drop out of me. I put my hand against the wall for supporting; without it I don't think I would have the strength to hold both of us up after that mind blowing orgasm. Ana's legs are wrapped tightly around my waist and when she doesn't move to break our connection I slowly carry her over to the tile seat. I don't know how long we sit there; it could have been minutes or hours….time seemed to completely stop as I held Ana.

"We should get going, we're going to be late," Ana whispers; her breath against my ear immediately has me twitching inside of her.

"I'd rather just stay here all night."

"Hmmm, so would I," she moans when I start to harden again. "But we can't."

"We could," I argue.

"Let's go to dinner and afterwards we'll come right back here afterwards."

"We might not make it to the shower," I smirk and kiss her before she lifts herself off of me.


	73. Chapter 73

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: This is a very long chapter; I probably should have broken it into two chapters but I couldn't find a good spot to break it. Plus, I'm kind of hoping giving you a long chapter will make up for what you read at the end of the chapter. As always, I've tried to proof read my work, but I apologize for any errors you may find. Also, I'm now on facebook if you would like to follow me: Madison fanfictionauthor (they don't let you put numbers in your name for some reason). I'll be posting pictures of Ana's dress and the venue on facebook for this chapter. Going forward I'll try to utilize facebook when I post chapters or to at least let everyone know where I am with updates. Thank you all for your continued support – this story hit over 6000 reviews! Who would have thought?_

 **Chpt. 73 APOV**

"I don't know how you did it, but you managed to find the perfect event for us to attend tonight," Christian whispers as he pulls me closer to him. We are seated at a small table surrounded by several people that I don't know but that Christian seems to. We just finished a rather delicious chicken and shrimp dinner and the wait staff just cleared our plates.

"What do you mean?"

"This," he glances around the small private dining room we are seated in, "it's perfect. There's no press here, yet our names will surely be mentioned when the hospital PR department completes their write up on the dinner. I like that it's fairly small, so I don't have anyone pulling my attention away from what want to be focusing on."

I blush under his words as he looks at me purposefully; after the shower we had before dinner I have no doubt what he wants his attention to be on right now.

"Mr. Grey, do you have a moment?"

I watch the frustration in Christian's eyes grow before he quickly pulls it back and turns to the man who interrupted us. He excuses himself before following the man over to the bar, a conversation about financial projections quieting as they walk away. I glance around the room, looking at no one and nothing in particular when a young blond woman catches my eye. It takes me a few minutes before I realize why she looks familiar; I dressed her a couple of times when I worked at the department store. A man in a tux puts his on her lower back before he escorts her out of the room. That simple move confirms for me that she was there as an arrangement that Elena organized. When I first met with Elena I was worried about the degree to which physical contact that would be required while on a date to which Elena quickly reassured me that it would be very limited. Thinking back on it now I specifically remember Elena mentioning that he would likely simply put his hand on my lower back, which is exactly what that guy did with his date just now. If I hadn't met her at the department store I wouldn't have suspected anything, but now I realize they were here together because of Elena.

I had no idea arrangements like that even existed before I spoke with Elena that day. When she first explained her business I had no idea what type of man would pay for a service like this or why they would even have to. Since meeting Christian and getting a glimpse into his world, including how relentless the paparazzi are, I can certainly understand the reasons one would have a lot better now. It's barely been six months since I met with Elena that day, but in a way it seems like it was years ago. It's kind of weird thinking I've only known Christian for that little amount of time; it feels like I've known him for years now.

"Sorry about that," while I'm lost in my own world Christian has found his way back to me.

"Everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," he kisses me on the cheek before sitting down next to me. "He worked for a company that GEH acquired a few years back; now he works for a different company…"

"Another company that GEH is going to acquire?"

"Possibly, we haven't decided yet," he takes a quick glance around the room. "Their projections don't match where they are actually performing at which is raising red flags. Jacobs is their financial manager who has been sending us the information we requested."

"Does he realize it's not where it should be?" I ask vaguely trying to be mindful that Christian doesn't want the details known by the way he keeps looking around the room.

"No….well it doesn't seem that way. He is either lousy at his job or they are paying him really well to play stupid."

"You think it's the latter."

"Yes; he was good at the position he held previously. The only reason we didn't hire him as part of GEH was because we didn't need another financial analyst at the time. I find it hard to believe that he doesn't see that their projections are so far off from reality that there is no hope that they will ever meet their projections."

"He wanted to talk to you more about the projections just now?"

"Yes," he sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "When he asked to see him I should have declined, but I was hopeful that in a casual situation he might admit to what was really going on."

"He didn't?"

"No; instead he insisted on detailing out all the work he has completed to verify the projections they sent to us last week are the most current and are accurate."

"So GEH won't be moving forward?"

"On the contrary, we will be revising our proposal on Monday."

"I don't get it."

"Come, let's talk on the way home. I think we've put in enough of an appearance here," he holds out his hand to help me from the chair. When I stand up, he quickly wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me gently on the lips.

"Do we need to do anything-"

"I took care of it; our names will be in the press release that the hospital's PR department issues about tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"The extra donation I made a few minutes ago guarantees it," he chuckles.

When Taylor sees us approaching he immediately meets us at the door and we follow him to the car which Sawyer has waiting out front. Rennolds is also with us tonight and will be following the SUV back to Escala for added security. Thankfully everything went perfectly tonight and we are tucked into the warm SUV heading back to Escala.

"I'm confused," I admit. "If the projections aren't matching what is actually occurring, why would GEH be interested in the company?"

"It gives us a leg up; we know that they're padding their numbers which means we also know how they are currently performing. I have some of the best financial analysts in the industry working for me; they easily recognize when projections are off. Based on the company's actual performance, they have been able to develop their own projections that are much more realistic on where the company will be over the next three years. The reality is, if GEH doesn't buy them out, the company will be bankrupt within two years. When they see our projections we believe reality will set in and they will sale for a much lower price than we even initially discussed offering."

"Then what will you do with the company? I mean, if it's struggling now, how will you ensure it doesn't continue to struggle?"

"I'm not able to. Unfortunately this company is so far in the red that there is no puling it back from it; the company will go under."

"So you're buying a company that is going to fail anyway?"

"Yes, I'm going to buy the company and then break it apart into smaller pieces before selling all those smaller pieces off. As a whole their business is suffering, but broken apart, they can become part of larger organizations that could use their skillset and knowledge."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"Really? I tend to lose most people when I start talking about mergers and acquisitions."

"I probably don't understand it well enough to explain it to a perfect stranger, but the way you said it….it makes sense."

"It'll probably make even more sense once you get a little further into your classes. Registration is coming up soon for next semester right?"

"I registered yesterday."

"Ana, why didn't you say something? I'm sure you must be excited about starting classes soon, we should have gone out to celebrate or something."

"It's not a big deal, really," I shrug. "Besides, we had enough going on…"

"We had plenty of time to go out for dinner. Hell I could have closed The Mile High Club for a few hours if security was an issue. Tell me next time, okay? I want to know about your classes…"

"Okay," I lay my head against his shoulder as we drive back to Escala.

The truth is, I didn't tell Christian about registering for my classes because the thought really hadn't entered my mind to tell him. Not that I thought he wouldn't care because I'm sure now he would have, but because I've never had anyone who really cared how I did in college or really about my education in general. When I was valedictorian of my senior class, no one came to my graduation to hear me speak or watch me receive my diploma. When I received scholarships to cover my tuition, no one congratulated me or told me they were proud of me. When I made the Dean's list year after year, no one was there to tell me what I great job I was doing.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that I have someone now who does care about these little things; so I didn't think to tell Christian that I had registered for my class. I was nervous but excited about registering for classes next semester; it's hard to think that in just over a month I will be starting college classes again. I'm thankful that all of the classes I need are online so I will still have the flexibility I need to take care of the bakery, to travel with Christian like this weekend to Boston or to attend whatever events he has scheduled.

"What classes did you end up registering for?" Christian pulls me from my thoughts.

"I only registered for one for next semester; introduction to business theory. If it goes well, I might register for two in the fall or maybe over the summer depending on what their summer schedules look like."

"You could take more classes you know. I'm sure Mia will do a wonderful job at the bakery; she'll be flexible I'm sure about when she can meet with you."

"I know, I'm not worried about that. Well maybe a little, but I really just want to slowly work my way back into school. It's been awhile since I've had to juggle classes and schoolwork. My advisor seems to think I could be finished in two years; possibly less if I take more classes. I'm not in a hurry and just want to make sure I'm learning everything I need to."

"I'm proud of you Ana. It's not easy going back to school; I couldn't hack it the first time and I have no desire to go back now. Plus with everything going on and the press….you're just doing an amazing job at juggling it all. Some people would just take the easy way out and not go back to college, especially not right now with everything else going on."

"It's nothing really," I blush at his complement. "I'll always be grateful to you for-"

"No….don't discount what you are doing."

"I'm not-"

"You are."

"I just wanted to thank you-"

"To take the attention off of you. Ana, I'm not doing anything other than paying a bill every few months. You're the one who has to do all the work, plus manage the bakery and deal with the press. Give yourself the credit you deserve for balancing everything that is going on right now plus registering for classes."

We sit in silence for a few minutes; I'm not sure what to say. Christian is probably right; I've never been comfortable with attention on myself and having someone praise me for something as simple as registering for a college class seems silly. But maybe that's just because no one has cared that much about me in the past.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey," Taylor clears his throat before alerting us that we are now parked in the underground parking lot of Escala. I have no idea how long we've been sitting here.

"We're ready Taylor," Christian leans over and kisses me before squeezing my hand.

As we ride in the elevator with Taylor and Sawyer, I realize that while Christian was right that I probably was trying to take the attention off of myself that he was also doing the same thing by not allowing me to thank him and tell him how grateful I am to him for giving me the chance to go back to school. I had hoped that working for Elena would allow me to return to finish my degree at some point, but I never expected to happen only after a few months of meeting with her. Of course, nothing in the last few months have turned out like how I expected them to.

"Thank you again for arranging tonight Ana," Christian says as we get ready for bed a little while later.

"I'm glad I was able to find something on such short notice. It should get the press of your back at least until we go to Boston right?"

"Hopefully. Gail will take care of packing-"

"No," I quickly interrupt.

"No what?"

"No Gail will not be packing my bag for Boston," I say firmly. "I can pack my own bag."

"I'm sure you can but Gail has always packed my bags for my trips; it's not extra work for her if that's what you're worried about."

"I'd rather be the one packing my own panties and bras then having her pick out my undergarments for me."

"You know she washes those sexy panties you wear right? And she's the one who picked up the pair we left in the library-"

"Christian!" I'm so embarrassed; I hadn't even thought about going back to get the panties or the pajamas that we left in there after Christian surprised me a couple weeks ago.

"Ana, you worry too much," he laughs at me. Actually laughs at me! "Gail wouldn't have given it a second thought I'm sure."

"Really? So what…she's used to finding women's underwear on your library floor?" I half tease because I'm fairly certain that isn't the case, although a part of me can't help but wonder if it's true. I don't know why it would bother me if it was true; if Gail had cleaned up after Christian had sex in the library in the past. I mean, obviously I know Christian has a past; one that is much longer than mine is so it's not like the thought of him with another woman in there should bother me – but it does.

"Ana," in one quick movement he has me pressed firm against him and his mouth is at my ear. "I have not had sex anywhere in this apartment with anyone other than you. Gail has never found a woman's panties on my library floor or anywhere else in this place."

"Oh."

Well don't I feel foolish now for worrying.

"Yeah oh. Let's go to bed baby."

I fall asleep wrapped in Christian's arms as I do every night; we both sleep completely peacefully. The next morning Christian is more antsy than normal, it's his first day back to work since the Charlie Tango incident. Today is the only day he is going back to work since we leave for Boston tomorrow.

"Don't leave Escala unless you absolutely need to Ana. And if you need to go somewhere you take Sawyer and Rennolds with you; don't leave without them. Even if you just want to go to the gym or the pool or somewhere in Escala, take them with you-"

"I'm not going anywhere today Christian. I will be here when you get back."

"I….I don't want you to feel trapped here Ana. It's not that I'm trying to tell you that you _can't_ go somewhere," I know he's worried I'll compare him to Jack. He knows Jack rarely allowed me to leave the house and when I did I was only allowed to go a few places and for a certain period of time. I had to call him when I left and when I returned; if I was gone even a few more minutes then he thought I should be there would be hell to pay.

"Christian, I know that's not what you're doing. I promise that if I do need to leave Escala I will take both Sawyer and Rennolds with me. But really I have no plans to leave. I'm going to pack my bag for Boston and maybe try a few different recipes for us to take some muffins on the flight to Boston tomorrow."

"Thank you Ana….when this is all over-" he holds me close to him.

"Don't worry about it. But you, you need to promise me something-"

"Anything."

"You stay with Taylor and Jacobs today; don't get so focused on business that you leave without both of them."

"Yes dear," he chuckles but squeezes me tighter. "I love you Ana."

"I love you Christian."

I watch Christian slowly walk over to where Taylor is waiting for him. Unless you paid attention to his walk or looked at his foot you would never know that he was still recovering from his broken leg. The boot he has hidden mostly under his pant leg is barely visible when he walks into the room. His physical therapist has been coming to Escala several times a week since Taylor and Christian both felt the risk was too great for him to go to an orthopedic center several times a week. Although it has been exhausting for him, watching him walk out with barely a limp even in a boot proves just how well physical therapy is working for him.

"Ready to start baking Ana?" Gail asks as we both watch the men we love walk out of the apartment.

Gail has been my baking partner for the last few weeks as we try out new recipes or even just come up with new ideas for the bakery. Mia often stops by once the bakery closes and taste tests some of creations but when she can't the security team is always more than willing to be our Guinea pigs. We've had a few duds but most of the recipes turn out well and we have added a couple to the menu. After the holidays we are planning a few more new creations; right now with business picking up especially on the catering side we all felt it was best to wait until things slow down before introducing too many new items to the baking staff.

The day flies by quickly; when Gail and I take a break from baking we pack the bags for Boston. Even though Gail assures me that she doesn't mind packing my bag for the trip I still insist on packing it myself. I don't know that I will ever get used to having Gail around to take care of things, but even if I do I can't see asking her to pack my bag for a trip when I'm sitting here doing nothing. Besides like I told Christian, I'm not entirely comfortable with someone picking out what underwear, bras and nightgowns I will be wearing on the trip. Clothes are one thing…but my panties?

After our bags are packed I order the books I will need for my class online and then spend a few hours getting lost in a book in the library. Despite being cooped up in the apartment for more than a month now, I haven't grown bored of this room. I love sitting in the oversized seat that Christian arranged to be in here and reading a book. There's something about being surrounded by walls that are filled from the floor to the ceiling with books. Since there is a desk in here as well, I can easily see myself working on my classwork in here once classes start next semester.

 _Going to be home late tonight. Don't wait up. –C_

 _Everything ok? –A_

 _Contract issues for a deal that needs to be finalized before midnight tonight. We will be cutting it close at this point –C_

 _Anything I can do? –A_

 _No. I'll probably be working most of the night and at least most of tomorrow before we fly out just to get this deal finalized and then get rid of the dickhead who is causing so much trouble. –C_

 _Did you eat? I can bring you something? –A_

 _Andrea ordered me dinner before she left. Would love to have dinner with you but I'll be with Roz the rest of the night. In fact, she's giving me dirty looks for texting you instead of focusing on the contract. –C_

 _Go work, I'll see you when you get home –A_

 _Love you –C_

 _I love you too –A_

I go to bed alone for the first time in some time; I've never seen Christian work this late before but I'm sure it's not the first time he has had to work well into the night on a deal. It takes me much longer than normal to finally fall asleep and when I finally do I toss and turn most of the night. It's not until I feel Christian's arms around me that I finally settle into a deep sleep. When I wake up, his side of the bed is empty. If it weren't for the messed up bedding and the impression in his pillow I would have thought I dreamt about him holding me last night. A quick glance at the clock on the nightstand surprises me; it's after ten, no wonder Christian isn't in bed still. Even though I'm not working at the bakery any longer, I rarely sleep late. Usually I wake up with Christian and we have breakfast together before he goes to work; except for the few occasions he has a really early meeting which hasn't happened too often.

"Good morning," I greet Gail as I walk into the kitchen after taking a shower and getting dressed.

"Good morning Ana, can I get you some breakfast and tea?"

"If you don't mind, thank you. Have you seen Christian?"

"Mr. Grey has been in his office since before five this morning; I took him breakfast and coffee earlier."

"Oh, I guess he is still working on that deal."

"He does not seem to be in the best moods if I'm being honest. He did ask me to let you know that you will be leaving Escala just after lunch to head to the airport for your flight to Boston."

"I guess it's a good thing I packed yesterday since I somehow slept in this morning," I giggle realizing that we will be leaving in about an hour and I'm just now having breakfast.

"I don't give a FUCK what your reasoning is! The entire team worked through the night to finalize the contract that should have been finalized before it was presented to the team. You walked out before five yesterday, leaving all of us to clean up your mess. Pack your bags and leave your ID badge with security…..I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHY YOU NEEDED TO LEAVE! This was your project; you requested to take the lead on this deal and YOU fucked it up! When you realize you were in over your head you should have contacted your supervisor!...Had you finalized the contract timely, leaving at four yesterday might not have been an issue but instead you walked out while the contract was still in limbo. And even then you failed to answer your FUCKING PHONE despite numerous calls from GEH. YOU ARE FIRED. Clean out your desk and leave GEH within the hour."

Gail and I both look at each other as we hear Christian's side of an obviously intense phone call. She quickly turns her attention to the stove as we hear Christian's office door opening. He comes into the kitchen, looking dishelved but incredibly sexy in a pair of jeans and a casual short sleeve shirt. It's not often Christian dresses casual; even when he was working from home he was still dressed as if he was going to the office.

"Good morning baby," he kisses me lightly on the cheek before heading towards the coffee pot.

"That sounded intense," I comment as Gail places my plate in front of me before disappearing from the kitchen.

"The fucker who had Roz and I working practically through the night and all morning on a deal after he walked out of the office at four yesterday to go pick up his girlfriend from the airport."

"Ouch."

"If the contract was finalized and everything was completed I wouldn't have given a shit that he left at four, but he knew before leaving that the contract was an issue. Hell we all knew a lot of work needed to be done when he submitted it for approval at eleven yesterday morning. Yet he just got up an left. GEH has fucking drivers that routinely pick up people from airports; one of them could have fucking gone to pick up his girlfriend but instead he left the rest of us to clean up his fucking mess!"

"I'm sorry," it doesn't sound like much but I don't know what else to say.

"It's done now, everything has been fixed and the deal went through no thanks to that fucker," he runs his hands through his hair in frustration. "Did Gail tell you when we were leaving?"

"Yes, and we packed everything yesterday so everything is ready."

"You have a gown to wear for the dinner tomorrow night?"

"Yes, it's with your tux in the garment bag."

"Great, I'll warn you the dinner will probably be very boring. I hate political dinners the most but since this could impact GEH…."

"It'll be fine Christian, don't worry."

Surprising Christian and I were both relaxed on the flight to Boston; I expected to be nervous flying again but I really wasn't. Perhaps it was because we weren't in a helicopter again, or it could have been because of the increase in security surrounding the jet when we arrived. I swear it looked like a scene from the movie Men in Black with all the men in dark suits surrounding the jet when we pulled up. I overheard Taylor informing Christian that the jet has been under video and personal surveillance since the flight plan was submitted a few days ago. Then as of yesterday security was increased round the clock; even the pilot and flight attendant were provided with security through the airport to insure everything went smoothly.

Christian spent the entire flight working on his laptop and talking with Roz on the phone. He apologized several times and assured me that as soon as he wrapped everything up I would have his attention while we were in Boston. The plan is to spend the next three days in Boston; tomorrow is the fundraiser dinner and then Sunday we will spend the day sightseeing in the city. I'm not sure the plans for Monday other than that we will be flying back to Seattle at some point.

When we land in Boston another team of men in black suits are waiting for us on the tarmac before the doors even open. Taylor is the first one to exit the jet, speaking with someone on the ground before Sawyer gives us the go ahead to exit the jet. I barely have a chance to look around before I'm whisked into a black SUV that was waiting for us. Taylor and Sawyer are in the front seats while Rennolds and Jacobs have already gone ahead to the hotel to check out the room.

"You'll get to see the city Sunday and Monday," Christian says as I stare out the window watching all the large buildings pass us by.

"Are you sure you'll have the time?"

"I guarantee it," he kisses me as he pulls me closer to him. "I'm going to be working the rest of today and probably most of tomorrow before we leave but after that I promise you I won't be working until we get back on the jet to head home."

"If you need to work-"

"No, I want to enjoy Boston with you. I just need to finalize a few things before I can do that. If that fucker hadn't screwed everything up yesterday I wouldn't have to work today or tomorrow, well other than responding to periodic emails. But because of his fuck ups, I am stuck working when I would much rather be spending time with you."

"It's okay, I know how busy you are especially since you just returned to GEH yesterday."

"I wouldn't have been if people knew how to do their god damn job!"

There's not much to say; it's not like I can argue with Christian's statement. A few minutes later we arrive at a stunning hotel; the type that when you walk into the lobby you immediately wonder if you belong there. Or at least that was my impression when we walked through the lobby to the elevator where Rennolds was waiting for us, having already checked us in. I can't even begin to imagine what a night in a hotel like this must cost. Of course it's not surprise that Christian has the largest suite booked for us on the top floor of the hotel. After escorting us into the room and letting Christian know where their rooms are, we are left alone in an incredible suite.

"Wow…." I say glancing around the elegant space. There is a large great room that opens to a full size kitchen and dining room.

"There are two bedrooms which both have bathrooms attached, plus another bathroom there," he points the door on the opposite side of the living room. "I'll use the one bedroom as an office tonight and tomorrow as it has a desk in it. There's a balcony off the master bedroom which you can access through the dining room as well that overlooks the water."

"You really don't go small do you," I giggle.

"I….I like having space; I don't do well cramped in a room with two beds and a small bathroom. I've tried it when I've traveled; it's too….claustrophobic."

The distant look in his eyes says what his words don't; he is thinking about where he lived before he was adopted. I immediately regret what I said, chalking it up to being overwhelmed by the enormity of the room.

"How about we take a shower before you go start working again?" I suggest hoping to pull him out of his memory.

"Yeah…sure….," he takes my hand in his and leads me into the shower.

The shower takes much longer than it should and ends with both of us gasping trying to catch our breath after screaming each other's names out. I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor barged into our room considering how loud we were. But the mission was accomplished; by the end of the shower Christian is no longer thinking about his horrible childhood. Instead we have dinner on the balcony that was delivered by room service before turning in for the night. Rather than working like last night, Christian comes to bed with me after setting his alarm so he wakes up early to get a head start on what needs to be done before the fundraising dinner.

The next day is a lazy day for me while Christian spends most of his day in the second bedroom working. He stops so we can have breakfast and lunch together before I head off to the salon in the hotel to have my hair and make up done for this evening with Sawyer and Taylor in tow. When I return to the room Christian is already in the shower so I quickly change into the gown I am wearing for tonight. I don't know how Christian did it but when he arranged for the closet to be filled when I moved in with him, there were so many gowns that I don't think I will ever be able to wear each one.

"Fuck," Christian hisses when he walks into the great room where I'm waiting. "You look….fuck….there are no words."

"Thank you," I blush as I watch his eyes move over me from top to bottom before traveling back up again.

I'm wearing a fitted black gown that is simple, yet elegant. Thin straps wrap hold the dress up close by my neck before crisscrossing in the back which is otherwise open to just below the middle of my back. When I turn around I hear Christian's intake of breath as he takes in the entire dress. I grab the matching black clutch off the couch before walking towards him and kissing him gently on the lips.

"Remind me why we're leaving this room," he groans as he runs his hands over the smooth fabric that covers my ass.

"Because if we do I will let you take me out of this dress later," I wink but the knock at the door prevents Christian from saying or doing anything in return. Christian reluctantly follows me to the door where Taylor and Sawyer are waiting for us.

"Everything set?" Christian asks.

"Rennolds is already on site and confirms that all security measures are in place. Jacobs will remain here to ensure the safety of the rooms are not compromised while we are gone," Taylor confirms.

"Perfect."

A short ride later we arrive at the State Room where we are immediately led to a large ballroom with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city with the water in the distance. Taylor, Sawyer and Rennolds are stationed at various points in the room; a quick glance around the room confirms that we aren't the only ones with security here tonight.

"Do you mind walking around with me until dinner is served?" Christian asks.

"Not at all."

With my hand in Christian's we walk around the large room, stopping several times to talk to various people that Christian knows. As he introduces me to several people, I'm surprised at just how many people he knows that are here tonight considering we are across the country from GEH's home base. Through some of the conversations, I know some of the people he knows better than others as he asks about families while with others the conversations focus more around business.

"Would you like a drink?" Christian asks.

"Please," I don't know why but suddenly I have a weird feeling like someone is watching me. I chalk it up to having so many security team members here, both our own and everyone else's; hopefully the drink will chase away the feeling.

"I wasn't expecting you to know so many people here tonight," I say taking a sip of the sweet red wine that Christian hands me.

"Not everyone here tonight is based on Boston; a few are from California where I have companies. Others though I've met through mutual business associates or at different functions. I've traveled to Boston several times to look at companies so I've met some when we've looked into businesses in the area."

Just then a voice that I swore I would never hear again interrupts the momentary lapse in conversation.

"Anastasia?"


	74. Chapter 74

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: So many theories as to who our mystery guest was at the end of the last chapter. I loved reading all of the guesses!_

 **Chpt. 74 CPOV:**

I hate political fundraisers; as a rule I try to avoid them at all costs. However, tonight is different. There are not only politicians here tonight but CEOs from businesses both in and out of Boston who have just as much riding on this candidate as I do. He is the only candidate who is campaigning to remove a tax penalty that has prevented GEH from purchasing several different companies in Boston. With enough financial support, if he is elected he will have no choice but to follow through on his promises. CEOs like myself will donate too much money to his campaign to allow anything else to happen if he is elected.

Tonight, I walk through the banquet room with Ana next to me loving the way she her body is next to mine as I watch all the men here stop to check her out. Let them look, because this beautiful woman is all mine and will be in my bed as soon as this is over. I've never been the possessive type with women, but with Ana everything is different. I hate that men are checking her out but I purposely keep my arm wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her close to me, so there is no doubt who she is here with tonight.

As always, Ana seems remarkably comfortable here tonight despite not knowing anyone else in the room. She makes polite conversation when I introduce her to various people and makes small talk with me when it's just the two of us. I loved how her eyes lit up the moment we walked into the room and she took in the view of the city from the large windows. Sometimes being somewhere with Ana is like being there for the first time; she takes notice of small things that I've never noticed with her before. I'm looking forward to sight-seeing around Boston with her tomorrow just for that reason. Although I've been to Boston several times over the years, I've never taken much time to appreciate the city itself. But, even if I did, I know I would never see it the way Ana sees it.

After walking around the large banquet room, we end up at the bar where I hand Ana a sweet red wine that I think she will like. Although there are better bottles in my collection that she should be drinking, the wine here surprisingly isn't half bad. All too often events tend to buy the cheapest alcohol they can get their hands on which they fail to realize immediately ruins whatever meal they are serving. As I watch Ana take a large gulp of her wine, I'm reminded how much she has changed from the woman I first met who would slowly sip her wine throughout the evening in an attempt to make it last as long as possible. I'm pleased that I was able to break her "habit" as she called it, of still following that fucker's rule of only having one drink when she is with me. That fucker treated her like a child, instead of the grown woman that she is.

"I wasn't expecting you to know so many people here tonight," Ana comments.

"Not everyone here tonight is based on Boston; a few are from California where I have companies. Others though I've met through mutual business associates or at different functions. I've traveled to Boston several times to look at companies so I've met some when we've looked into businesses in the area."

"Anastasia?"

Before the person finishes Ana's name, her hand is gripping mine so tightly that I swear she is likely going to break my fingers. I glance at her to see her face go incredibly pale which is when I know something is seriously wrong. I'm not sure what to do because I don't know what's wrong, but I know I need to do something.

"Ana? What is it baby?"

I take her chin in my fingers and tilt her head up so I can see her beautiful blue eyes. I watch her close her eyes and take a deep breath, slowly letting it out before her eyes meet mine once again. This time though, I see something I've never seen with Ana before. Even though her eyes are on me, they might as well be closed. I can always tell what Ana is thinking by looking in her eyes; from the moment I met her on the sidewalk that day I felt like she could see right into me. Right now, that might as well have been another person because the eyes I'm looking at right now aren't those. I realize in that moment, I've watched Ana do what Roz tells me that I do before walking into a negotiation – Ana has put a mask on. Now I just need to figure out why the hell she is doing that…

"Anastasia?"

Ana takes a deep breath before slowly turning around to face an older woman who is standing only a few feet from us.

"Estelle."

I watch the two women just stare at each other for several minutes as I try to figure out what the hell is going on. I've never seen Ana like this; her voice is cold and distant, her body is tense and no longer relaxed against me. I close the space between us, wrapping my arm firmly around Ana's waist and lean into her so that her back is against my side.

"Ana?" I need her to tell me what the hell is going on; a quick glance around confirms that Taylor and Sawyer are both watching whatever this is ready to intervene if necessary. If Ana doesn't say something or move in the next few seconds I'm going to take her out of here until I figure out who the hell this woman is and why Ana is so freaked out right now.

"Excuse me, Estelle I would like you to meet Christian Grey, my husband," Ana introduces.

"Your husband?" the look on the old woman's face is priceless; she is completely shocked that Ana is married to me which makes me again wonder who the fuck this woman is.

"Christian, I would like you to meet Estelle Adams ….my grandmother," I swear in that moment I can hear the disgust in Ana's voice when she finally reveals the identity of the woman standing in front of us. My posture immediately matches Ana's in recognition of who this woman is; if I were a different man my hands would be around her neck. The woman's hand is outstretched in an offering to me, but I don't accept it, instead I turn my attention to Ana.

"If you'll excuse us, I see someone we need to speak with," I quickly lead Ana away as the older woman is left stunned, staring at us as we walk away from her. I'm heading towards the exit, determined to take Ana away from here so she no longer has to see the woman who caused her so much pain.

"No," Ana stops dead in her tracks when she realizes we are heading towards the exit.

"Ana, let's go back to the hotel-"

"No."

"No?"

She doesn't say anything more, but the mask that she put up earlier remains intact. I don't know why she doesn't want to leave, but I need to get her somewhere so I can talk to her privately about this. I search the room for somewhere that I can talk to Ana and finally settle on a small table in the corner of the room near the windows. It's not exactly what I want, but for now it will have to do.

"Ana, we can leave-"

"No."

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable. We don't need to stay for this; we can go back to the hotel right now-"

"No."

"Ana, if you think I need to stay-"

"It's not that," for just a brief moment, I see something in Ana's eyes, but just that quickly it's gone.

"What is it then? Why do you want to stay? We don't have to-"

"If I leave, she wins," her voice is just barely above a whisper but those few words say it all.

"If you're sure that's what you want, we'll stay."

"I won't let her win again. She can't make me leave; she can't make me do something I…I don't want to do again…."

"She was forcing you to marry that asshole?"

"She….after he….after he hit me the first time, I wanted to leave him but she made it clear that if I _fucked that up_ I wouldn't be welcome back in her house. Not that I wanted to go back there to begin with, but I was still working at that point so I only needed to stay with her until I could find a place of my own…"

"What happened?"

"I called her…after he left for work the next morning. I told her I…I had to call out sick from work because he hit me so hard the night before that my cheek was still bruised. I asked…I begged….for her to let me come back even though I swore when I left I would never return. I figured it would only be a couple weeks at most until I could find a cheap apartment to rent. Do you know what she said?"

"What?" I'm almost afraid to ask.

"She told me that if he hit me, I must have done something to deserve it. She told me to I needed to learn my lesson; it was my job to keep _him_ happy, that was my job as his future wife. And he obviously needed to teach me how to do that. She then hung up on me; it was the last time I spoke with her. I left him a month later when….things escaladed."

"She made you stay with a man who beat you? What the fuck kind of person is she?"

How the fuck does someone do something like that?

"I let her win then; I'm not going to let her win now. I need to show her that I'm not that girl anymore…that she can't control me like that. If we walk out of here right now, she's going to know I left because of her. I can't….she…."

"Okay, Ana we'll stay. But the moment it becomes too much, we're leaving even if that means I have to carry you out of here. I'm not going to let that woman hurt you again."

She doesn't say anything, but gives me a slight nod in what I hope is agreement. I'm not happy about keeping Ana here, but if this is something Ana feels the need to do than I'm going to help her do it. I take out my phone and send a quick text to Taylor requesting he order a complete background check from Barney and Welch on Estelle Adams.

"How about we get another drink?" I suggest.

"Something a little stronger than wine perhaps," Ana slowly turns from the windows that she has been staring out of since we sat down.

I don't show my surprise when Ana orders something stronger from the bar, knowing that right now she probably needs all the liquid courage she can muster. We walk around the room, stopping to chat with a few people on our way. Ana manages to hide what is going on well; anyone who looks at her or stops to chat with us has no idea the demons she is battling standing next to me. I want so badly to take her back to the hotel, to help her forget everything about tonight and to show her what a beautiful, strong woman she really is. But I know she needs to do this for herself, so at least for now I'm helping just be in the same room as the woman who caused her so much pain.

When we sit down to eat, I sigh in relief that Estelle isn't seated at our table; in fact she is seated completely across the room where she can't be seen from our table. While Ana chats with the wife of a CEO who is sitting next to her, I quickly pull out my cell phone to check on things just as that woman's husband is doing.

 _Welch and Barney will have a preliminary background check completed by morning and a more indpeth one within 48 hours. –T_

 _I want to know everything there is to know about this woman; tell them to leave nothing out –C_

 _If I may ask, who is this woman? –T_

 _Ana's grandmother; she approached us earlier –C_

I know revealing her relationship to Ana means nothing to Taylor; he knows her ex abused her but doesn't know anything beyond that. I didn't think an old woman would be a threat, especially considering she lived completed across the country from us.

 _Are we considering her a threat? –T_

 _Possibly. –C_

Ana doesn't relax during dinner, in fact she keeps a close eye on everyone around her; she constantly looks over her shoulder like she expects to see that evil woman approaching her again. But unless you knew Ana outside of tonight, you would have no idea that anything was going on. She is polite and friendly to everyone at our table, even laughing at jokes that are made. Me on the other hand, I can't stop thinking about what that woman did to Ana. I may not know all the ways she hurt her, but I've seen the scars that Ana bears on her back from that evil woman. It's taking everything in me not to hurt that woman; I've never wanted to hit a woman out of anger until now.

"Dance with me?" Ana asks quietly.

"Of course," I take her hand and lead her onto the dance floor where several other couples are dancing. Ana immediately rests her head on my shoulder when I pull her close to me. I wrap both my arms around Ana's waist, pulling her closer to me as we sway slowly to the music. Neither of us say a word throughout the entire song, but I'm comforted with the knowledge that Ana asked for this and can only hope the reason for that was because she needed me. I hope that whatever she is needing from me right now I'm giving her. I feel like I should say something, but I have no idea what to say. The guard that she put up seems to have momentarily gone down which I'm incredibly thankful for.

"Thank you," she whispers as the song ends and places a kiss on my lips before pulling back from me.

I have no idea what she is thanking me for; I haven't done a damn thing but dance with her. I should have asked her if she was okay, if she needed anything or at least if she wanted to leave. Instead the moment her body touched mine, the only thing I could think about was how incredible it felt to have her relaxed once again against me instead of standing stiffly next to me.

When dinner is over, several speeches are made by individuals supporting the candidate before he finally speaks. These types of speeches are always boring; always full of promises and requests for money. After the speeches, Ana and I walk around and talk with a few people we missed the first time around. Her mask is back up as she constantly searches the room for that woman, but thankfully doesn't find her. She is tense beside me; I long for the woman who was dancing in my arms a short time ago.

"Mr. Grey, how nice to see you again," Donald Conover approaches me shortly after we left our table.

"Donald, I wasn't expecting to see you this evening. Please allow me to introduce my wife-"

"Yes I read that you were married, it's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Grey," he shakes Ana's offered her.

"Thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you as well. Please call me Ana."

"My wife is somewhere around here, I'll have to introduce you," he glances around the room quickly but when he doesn't see her he turns his attention back to me. "I'm assuming by your presence here tonight, we can assume you're still interested in expanding GEH to the east coast?"

"If the tax issue were off the table, it would be something GEH would consider again."

Two years ago we were close to purchasing Donald's company which would have put us on the map on the east coast. Donald owns a large import/export business and at least two years ago was looking to retire. Acquiring his company was the start of a much larger expansion of GEH on the east coast, one that we planned to eventually result in a large corporate office likely in Boston. Roz was giving serious consideration to moving to Boston if we were to open an office there. The plan was for Roz to become the COO for all east coast operations. We were close to sealing the multimillion dollar deal when my finance department discovered the tax issue which essentially made the less appealing. With the tax issue known, we were forced to lower the offer to Donald which he wisely declined. It was a loss that I still felt today as the acquisition of his company held so much promise for GEH's expansion.

"If he succeeds and the tax law is abolished, I'd like to talk more in depth with GEH again about a possible acquisition if you think you would still be interested."

"We could certainly reevaluate the state of the company at that time," I try to play off the thrill of the possibility of expanding to Boston and all the possibilities that acquiring this company once held for GEH. I learned very early on in the business industry to have a poker face and thankfully I have one of the strongest poker faces around.

"Let's hope our boy wins the election so we can move forward with this. I'd love nothing more than to retire and take my wife on the vacation she deserves," he shakes my hand before walking away.

"I didn't know you were interested in moving GEH out here…" Ana says.

"Not moving GEH, but expanding it. Our core business will always be in Seattle, but I would love to expand to the east coast someday. Conover's company was the perfect opportunity and the city of Boston was an ideal location."

"Ah, I see. Well hopefully if this guy is elected he fulfills his promises about the tax issue."

"With everyone here tonight helping to finance his campaign, if he is elected he will have a lot of ticked off businessmen that will ensure he is never elected to an office again if he fails to follow through on his promise."

"Wow really?"

"You have no idea. There are people here who have connections across the country, especially political connections."

"Wow."

"Ana….are you-"

"I'm fine," her answer is short and she makes it clear she doesn't want to continue this discussion. "I need to use the restroom."

"I'll walk with you-"

"Christian I can go by myself to the bathroom," she sighs as I continue to follow her out of the room where Taylor and Sawyer quickly join us.

"Gentleman, none of you are coming in the bathroom with me," she gives us all a stern look before entering the ladies room.

"Any concerns?" I ask.

"None sir," Taylor confirms.

"Good, let's keep it that way. We should be ready to leave soon."

A few minutes later Ana is back at my side and we are walking back to our table; the dinner is pretty much over, saying goodbye to a few people is all that remains on our agenda before going back to the hotel.

"Grey, there you are," Donald catches up with us just as we are a few feet from the exit.

As we turn around, Ana's hand grips mine tighter; I know who is with him without even looking up.

"Allow me to introduce you to my wife-" I don't give him the chance to finish the introduction.

"We've already met."

"Oh, Estelle and I have only been married for….what is it sweetie, six months now?"

"Just about that," she confirms.

"Anyway Grey, I look forward to hearing from you once our boy is elected. I think you will be impressed with the growth the company has seen-"

"Unfortunately Donald, GEH is no longer interested in doing business with you," I quickly interrupt knowing that no matter what the price I would never associate GEH with a woman who thinks it is acceptable to beat her grandchild the way she did to Ana.

"What? What happened? I don't understand…"

"Unfortunately GEH is not interested in associating itself with child abusers-"

"Child abuser!?" he hisses, looking around to ensure that no one is near us that can overhear our conversation. "I have NEVER laid a hand on a child!"

"You may not have, but I don't think your wife can say the something-"

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Estelle says firmly, straightening her back as she looks directly at me obviously trying to intimidate me which of course doesn't work. "You have no idea what _she_ was like when she came to us. My late husband tried everything to get her to behave, but the stress of raising such a troubled child took a toll on his heart God rest his soul-"

"Yes, I was such a troubled child that I graduated valedictorian from high school with several scholarships that covered my full tuition for three years of college," Ana spats.

"You were troubled in other ways….just like your mother. I did what I needed to do to ensure you didn't turn out like her. The woman you are today is because of how I raised you; otherwise you would have ended up dead just like she is."

"Estelle, what did you do?" David asks.

"I did what needed to be done."

"Your wife," Ana says the term with complete disgust. "Beat me, her own granddaughter, to the point where I have permanent reminders of each punishment. When she didn't beat me, she threw objects at me. She got rid of me as fast as she could; even insisted I marry a man who beat me nearly as much as she did."

"Estelle-"

"All you needed to do was keep him happy. He would have given you anything; you never would have wanted for anything for the rest of your life. You just couldn't keep him happy-"

"No man should ever lay a hand on his woman," I hiss. "Her job was not to keep him happy."

"Estelle, tell me it's not true," he begs her.

"She can't," Ana says before she turns around so her back is exposed to him. Her scars are so light that they can't be seen from a distance but there's only a few feet between us right now, giving David enough space to see everything he needs to confirm the type of woman his wife is.

"You did that? You did that to your own granddaughter?" he asks the shock evident in his voice as Ana turns around.

"She was an unruly child just like her mother-"

"That doesn't give you the right to do that Estelle!" he interrupts her, raising his voice louder than I'm sure he intended. "What did she ever do to you?"

"Her father ruined her mother-"

"You punished her because of her parents?" I ask in complete disbelief.

"Her father…."

"He's been dead since right after I was born, what the hell does he have to do with anything?"

"Dead? Your father isn't dead."

 _Author's Note: This chapter has not been reviewed, so I apologize for any errors. Updates next week may not occur; I'm traveling Monday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday for work which limits my time. Hope you enjoyed this chapter._


	75. Chapter 75

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: My sincerest apologies for the lack of updates last week! Unfortunately my schedule at work took a crazy turn resulting in me working more than 55 hours last week. On top of that, 2 out of 3 of my kids were sick for most of the week which meant very little sleep for me and even less time to devote to my writing. This chapter has been begging me to write it! I swear I've nearly written the entire chapter so many times in my head over the last two weeks! Thank you for your patience with this chapter! Fingers crossed another chapter maybe possible later this week!_

 **CHPT. 75 CPOV:**

"Sir?" Taylor approaches us just as Estelle drops the biggest bomb shell of them all.

"What?" I say more harshly to Taylor than I intend to but this night is turning out like nothing I ever expected.

"I have secured a private room across the hall if you wish to continue this…conversation this evening," Taylor glances around the room reminding me that we are at a public event. Somehow it appears no one has yet noticed the tense discussion which I'm grateful for; the last thing Ana needs right now is for someone to overhear her life story and run to the press with it. Why I didn't think to move us to another room before now is beyond me. My entire focus has been on Ana and piece of shit in front of us who caused Ana so much pain. I completely forgot that although we were near the entrance to the room we were still very much in a public place. I was so wrapped up in the drama unfolding in front of me that I didn't realize Taylor and Sawyer were essentially keeping anyone from getting too close.

"Donald, there is a room where I think it would be best if we continued this…discussion," I take Ana's hand in mine and lead her out the door where Sawyer opens a door to a small, but empty meeting room. Obviously Taylor thought ahead as there were two bottles of wine along with a couple bottles of liquor on a small table at the front of the room. I'm about to turn to ask Ana if she would like a drink, when Sawyer walks over with two glasses in his hand. Before I have a chance to point out what she is about to drink, Ana takes the tumbler full of whiskey and downs it in one quick gulp before handing it back to Sawyer.

"I'd like another one please Sawyer," although still polite as always, Ana's voice is almost…detached and cold. I long for the Ana I had on the dance floor earlier this evening to come back, but I can't blame her for her reaction to everything that is going on. It's taking everything in me not to inflict the same amount of pain on the piece of shit woman who calls herself Ana's grandmother inflicted on Ana for so many years. I have to constantly remind myself that I was raised better than to hit a woman… at least one didn't consent to it. With every minute that passes, this woman pushes me closer and closer to giving into the urge.

We're all standing in the center of the room with no one talking; I want to say something but between the anger and the surprise of Estelle's bombshell I'm left completely speechless which is very atypical for me. I'm just about to say something when Ana finishes a second glass of whiskey before slamming it on the table next to her. Donald and I both jump in surprise, but neither Estelle nor Ana seem surprised by her action.

"What do you mean that my father is not dead? My mother told me he died a week after I was born on his way to work; he was hit by a drunk driver who was coming home from a night of drinking" Ana questions.

"Of course your mother would lie to you about that, her entire life was a complete lie," Estelle sighs taking a small sip of her wine as if she has all the time in the world. "Your father is very much alive, or at least he was according to you mother who tried to find him when she left my home."

"Explain," I demand.

"I'm not sure what there is to explain," Estelle glares at me. "As I just said, according to Carla she tried to contact your father a few years after you were born when I wouldn't let her return to my home. According to your mother, he was very much alive at that point."

"What do you know about my father? What is his name? Where is he?" Ana fires question after question at Estelle before walking over to the bar and getting another drink, this time a glass of wine instead of more whiskey. I've never seen Ana drink this much at once and although I know she is going to pay for it in the morning, I know right now that she's just trying to numb the obvious pain she must be feeling.

"God Ana, don't be so dramatic about this-"

"Estelle! You're talking about this young woman's father who she has thought her entire life was dead! You will answer whatever questions she has or so help me you will finding your own way home tomorrow," Donald grits through his teeth.

"Donald!" Estelle's shock is evident on her face; something tells me that no one has ever spoken to her like that before.

"You tell her everything she wants to know right now Estelle. You don't get to mess with this young woman's life more than you already have."

"Fine," Estelle says reluctantly. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," I answer before Ana even has a chance. "Tell her everything you know about her father, his name for starters and then everything else."

"I don't know why it matters, he may not even be your father but she told me his name was Ray…..Steele, I assume since she apparently gave you his last name," Estelle says. "Your mother met hit when he was on temporary leave from the military. They were attending the same wedding of mutual friends or so I was told. Your mother was barely 18 at the time yet he gave her alcohol and then took her back to his hotel room for the night. She came home the next morning completely hung over and refused to tell us who she was with. It wasn't until she told us she was pregnant that she finally revealed his identity. Your grandfather tried to locate him, but he had already been shipped overseas and was not scheduled to be returned to the states for several years."

"So that's how he ruined her life? By having sex with her and leaving not knowing she was pregnant?" Ana asks.

"In a way yes," Estelle answers. "Your mother was supposed to get married; everything was arranged-"

"Wait….arranged? Like an arranged marriage?" Ana interrupts.

"UGH; don't you know how rude it is to interrupt young lady?"

"Estelle!" Donald exclaims.

"Don't you-" I jump in.

"Don't you know how rude it is to lie to a child their entire life? To take your own anger out on them when they didn't do anything to deserve it? To constantly put down a child who had already been through so much? Don't you dare stand here and act all high and mighty with me," Ana spits.

"Yes the marriage was arranged," a few minutes pass before Estelle resumes her story. "Carla was to marry the son of a prominent business man in New York which would have brought the two companies together. This had been arranged for years; Carla had been dating the man since she was 16 and he was scheduled to propose marriage to her after she graduated from high school. Only, by then we had learned she was pregnant which negated the entire arrangement. I mean, who would want to marry a pregnant 18 year old? No matter how much money your grandfather offered, the man refused to take the responsibility on for another man's child. And your mother stupidly waited too long to tell us she was pregnant to terminate the pregnancy. She refused to consider adoption which would have allowed the arranged marriage to continue."

 _I want an entire background report on Ray Steele. –C_

 _Already requested it –T_

Normally Taylor would be waiting outside with Sawyer, but I think there was so much tension in the group that Taylor felt it necessary to stay in the room with us. He is standing at the door keeping an eye on the situation but I have no doubt he can hear everything that is said. While I would prefer it be Ana's decision what Taylor knows about her past, she hasn't indicated dissatisfaction with him being in here.

"Let me see if I understand this correctly," I try to process everything that Estelle just revealed. "Because Ana's mother accidently became pregnant and refused to put the baby up for adoption, you thought that gave you the right to beat her as a child?"

"Surely a successful businessman like yourself can understand what was lost by the failed marriage-"

"Because of a fucking business deal? That's how you're explaining your behavior?" Ana asks. "A fucking business deal?!"

"It wasn't just a business deal," Estelle snaps. "It was out entire future; it was everything my husband had worked for his entire life! We weren't able to have any other children, which meant that Carla's husband would be the only one who could take over for my husband when he was ready to retire. Instead she hooks up with some…. _private_ in the Army…."

I watch Taylor's fists clench and unclench as we all heard the distaste and lack of respect in her voice for someone who served in our military. It's obvious money and reputation is the only thing this woman cares about; if I hadn't already lost all respect for the woman already that would have done it right there.

"You do understand that all enlisted men start off as privates right?" Donald asks. "Including myself."

"I didn't mean it like that!" Estelle tries to back pedal when she realizes her glaring mistake. "I just meant that as opposed to the son of a successful businessman who was a Yale graduate…."

"That's how my father ruined my mother?" Ana asks shocked.

"Yes! Her entire life was set before she met _him_ that night; her life would have been absolutely perfect! Instead, she ends up pregnant and alone with no one to support her. She took you and ran away one night and it was years before we heard from her again and only then it was to call and beg us for help."

"You didn't help her, did you? I don't remember you or even knowing you existed until right the caseworker tracked you down," Ana says.

"No, I didn't help her! It was her decision to keep you; it was her decision to ruin the life we had planned for her. I told her to call your father and tell him he needed to own up to his responsibility; he should have been the one to help her – not us!"

"Did she contact him?"

"I don't know if it's true or not, but Carla insisted she tracked him down and even took you to see him one day."

"What happened?"

"According to Carla she saw him walking out of his house with a woman and a young child in his arms about the same age as you. He obviously cheated on someone the night he was with your mother and had a family already."

"She never told him about me?"

"Not that I know of; I don't believe she ever tried to contact him again after that day. She called me a few days later asking for help but as I told her she made her bed, it was time for her to lay in it."

"You set her up for failure! She had nothing beyond a high school education and was a single parent with no support. How the hell was she going to make it on her own?" Ana fires back.

"It was the decision she made when she decided to keep you. I only stepped in when I absolutely had to-"

"After she died and I had been living alone in a shitty trailer for weeks by myself! You have no idea the life we lived! She was drunk and high all the time; we constantly moved from place to place because she couldn't keep a job to save her life. She jumped from man to man trying to find someone who would take care of her. God….you have no idea what our life was like! You could have made things so much better if you just offered the help she was asking for. It didn't have to be like that….it could have been so different."

Estelle doesn't respond but the look on her face is anything but surprised and I immediately realize without a doubt that she knew how Ana was living. My stomach revolts with the idea that this woman allowed her own flesh and blood to live in the conditions that Ana has shared with me. I may not know everything about how Ana lived when she was growing up, but I know enough that anyone who had seen where she lived should have stepped in and done something about it. Instead she allowed her granddaughter to suffer at the hands of her drunk mother and the various men she allowed into her home.

"You knew, didn't you?" I ask, Estelle immediately looks away confirming what I already knew.

"You knew?!" Ana exclaims. "All those years of living in different shitholes with little food, sometimes no heat or electric, with all those….men….you knew?"

"From time to time, I would I hire a PI to check in on you both. I knew the conditions my daughter was living in-"

"And you didn't think to do anything about it? Hell you could have at least called child protective services who would have done something at least!"

"Your mother made her choice, it was her life to live."

"But it wasn't my choice! I didn't have a choice in how I lived!"

"Again, Anastasia you are being so dramatic," Estelle sighs heavily shaking her head.

"Estelle ENOUGH!" Donald speaks up. "Mrs. Grey, is there anything else you would like to know? Do you have any other questions you would like answered?"

"No, I'm finished here," Ana says firmly.

"Mr. Grey, I would like to thank you for your time tonight," Donald shakes my hand with a look of determination on his face. "If you don't mind, I would like to reach out to you sometime next week to discuss GEH's east coast expansion-"

"Donald, with all due respect, my decision from earlier remains. GEH will not be associated with individuals who abused children."

"Abuse? I never-"

"Shut up Estelle!" Donald snaps. "I completely understand and assure you that when I speak with you again I will no longer be associated with a child abuser. I still think there is great potential for GEH to expand-"

"What are you saying?" Estelle asks.

"I told you to shut up Estelle! If you won't listen and you want to further air your dirty laundry in front of these lovely people then so be it. I have already contacted my attorney to begin divorce proceedings-"

"DIVORCE!? Because of what this little BITCH is saying you're going to divorce me? You're going-"

"You need to listen to your husband and shut up Estelle before I have my team physically remove you from this room. I have listened to you long enough today; I will not continue to allow you to put down my wife. She is a wonderful, beautiful person who has done nothing wrong in her entire life. She never deserved the life her mother gave her nor did she deserve the life that you gave her-"

"I gave her everything she needed! She went to high school, attended college, she had a roof over her head and three meals to eat every day!"

"A child deserves more than to be treated like a prisoner! You made her sleep in a god damn closet even though you had plenty of guest bedrooms she could have slept in. You left more scars on her than her fucking abusive ex-boyfriend did even though you were her flesh and blood! Don't you dare try to stand here and pretend you gave her the perfect life that she deserved," I'm livid, utterly and completely livid. How dare this woman try to justify what she did.

"Christian, I'd like to leave now," Ana says.

"Of course baby," with a protective arm around her waist I lead her to the door where Taylor is waiting for us. I have to give the man credit, he no doubt overheard everything that was just said yet his face remains as passive as it always is. The only sign that anything is getting to him is his clenched fists by his side.

"You can't divorce me Donald! You can't! I'll have nothing-" I hear Estelle beg as we walk out of the meeting room before the door closes firmly behind us.

The car ride and subsequent elevator ride are quiet; Ana doesn't say a word but leans against me with her head on my chest and simply lets me hold her. I feel like I should say something, that I need to say something, but I have no idea what to say. Although I could care less about Taylor and Sawyer being here with us, I know Ana wouldn't want to talk about anything with them here. When the elevator doors open, Ana allows me to guide her down the hall as she leans on me. A nod to Jacobs confirms the room is secure, within minutes Ana and I are alone in the room.

"Ana….I'm so sorry how tonight ended up. I never expected Estelle to have been there-"

"It's not your fault Christian," she walks to kitchen and helps herself to another glass of wine. "Actually, even though tonight was nothing what I expected I'm still glad we came."

"Really?"

"I learned my father's name tonight Christian and learned that there is a good chance he is even still alive. I don't care if he had another family at the time he slept with my mother or if that was just something my grandmother was making up. I think I'd like to try to find him, maybe even meet him."

"I've requested a background check on him, so we should have his information by morning-"

"Really? You'll have his address that fast?"

"At least his last known address and current employer if he is still working. It will include family information as well; if you want to meet him after you see it I'll make that happen baby. But if you don't want to meet him that's okay too."

"I don't know….it's kind of weird to think that my father might be out there. I would like to know if he ever knew about me; if my mother ever told him about me at all. But at the same time, I know the men my mother hung around with…what if he is like that? What if…"

"His background report will tell us everything we need to know; we will be able to tell if he's someone like those other low lives your mother brought into your life. Maybe you should decide if you want to meet him after we see the report. Even if there's nothing on it, it doesn't mean you need to meet him right away. If you decide you want to meet him and you're ready, then you meet him. Until then no pressure."

"If I….will you…I mean will you come with me if I decide I want to meet him?"

"Of course Ana, whatever you need," I wrap my arms around her and pull her close so her head is on my chest. Her arms automatically wrap around my waist, anchoring me to her. I love that she asked me to go with her to meet her father if she ever decides to meet him. There was no way I was going to be able to stay home while she went to meet some strange man even if his background check were to be perfectly clean. I didn't want to have to pressure her or force her to take me with her, so the fact that she asked me to come with her relieves me but also hits me hard. I know how much Ana means to me, but her simple question makes me realize how much I mean to Ana. She is used to doing everything on her own, being completely independent and she hasn't needed anyone for the last two years. Yet right now, she is telling me how much she needs me with her when she takes this next big step.

"Christian?"

"Hmmmm?"

"I'd like you to take me out of this dress now," she whispers so quietly I'm forced to ask whether or not she really asked me that. It only takes a split second for me to remember her promise earlier in the evening when I asked her why we were even leaving the room when she looked as beautiful and sexy as she does right now.

"Ana," I sigh letting my hands run over the silk fabric that hugs her curves so perfectly. "Baby…you've had a rough night and you drank quite a bit…we don't need to do this-"

"Christian," she pulls back slightly so she can look me in the eyes. "I'm not drunk, I know exactly what I'm doing right now. I need….I need you to make me feel better, I need for you to erase everything that seeing her reminded me of tonight. Please Christian...I need you."


	76. Chapter 76

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter out; I had really hoped to be able to write last week. However, my children decided to share their illnesses with me which meant days off of work with me sitting on the couch having absolutely no energy to do anything. So even though I knew exactly where I wanted this chapter to go and what I was going to write, today is the first day I've felt well enough to actually start writing. Thank you for your patience!_

 **Chpt. 76 APOV:**

With Christian's arms wrapped around me, I feel relaxed for the first time since we left this room earlier today. I have no clue what tomorrow will bring; I don't even know if I'm ready to see the background check that Taylor or whoever runs on my father. My biggest fear is that he will be like the man that held me down on my bed that night; knowing the men my mother was attracted to I think it's a very strong possibility that he will be like that. Christian's arms tighten around me as he lets out a breath, whether he means to or not the simple move reminds me that what I need the most is right in front of me. I realize I don't need to decide anything about my father tonight which puts me at ease even more. The only part of tonight that I can't seem to let go of is seeing that woman's face again. I swore when I left New York that I would never see her or hear her voice again. Even though I'm exhausted, I know if I were to close my eyes right now the nightmares that haunted me for years would immediately return. I just need a way to forget what happened tonight….even if it's only for a little while.

"Christian?"

"Hmmmm?"

"I'd like you to take me out of this dress now," I whisper against his chest knowing that if anyone can make me forget her for even a little while it will be Christian.

"Ana," he runs his hands up and down my sides. "Baby…you've had a rough night and you drank quite a bit…we don't need to do this-"

"Christian," I stop him right there and pull back just enough so that he can look in my eyes. "I'm not drunk, I know exactly what I'm doing right now. I need….I need you to make me feel better, I need for you to erase everything that seeing her reminded me of tonight. Please Christian...I need you."

"Sweetheart," he whispers just before his lips find mine. His arms wrap around me waist, holding me tight against him. The kiss is gentle, sweet and full of emotion quickly taking my breath away along with everything that happened tonight. Within seconds the only thing that matters is Christian….

"Are you sure baby?" he asks when his fingers find the zipper at the side of my dress.

"Please."

His fingers tease my skin as he slowly lowers the zipper of the dress. With his lips never leaving mine, he gently tugs the straps of the gown down my arms which has it pooling on the floor within seconds.

"I've been wondering if you had any panties on under this dress all night," he takes a step back from me so he can take in the barely there fabric covering my sex. The dress was well fitted but thankfully included panties that wouldn't show lines. Essentially, it's a piece of very thin black string that goes around my waist and between my ass cheeks before connecting to a very small piece of black lace that covers my sex.

"Turn around," Christian requests and I do so slowly letting him take everything in. "Fuck those have got to be the sexiest panties I've ever seen."

I giggle and blush at the same time at his bluntness; he takes my hand so I can step out of the dress before leading me to the bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed, leaning down to take off my shoes when Christian stops me and guides me back up to him.

"Leave them on," his lips are on mine before I can respond. I moan when he sucks my lip into his mouth while pressing his erection against my sex. The entire room seems to heat up as our breathing increases and our desires begin to take over. Reaching between us I unbutton Christian's shirt before sliding it down his shoulders. He quickly tosses it to the side before lifting me onto the bed; his body is over mine within seconds and I can feel the heat coming off of him. He alternates between kissing, sucking and nibbling at my skin as he slowly makes his way down my body. He takes his time, slowly making his way to the panties he admired a short time ago. His mouth is on me but the fabric of the panties is separating us. I moan as he teases me through the fabric, the material rubbing against my bare skin. My hips come off the bed…either as an offering or because I'm begging him for more.

"You taste so good," he groans against my skin, the vibrations going straight through me. He teases me for what feels like hours before finally moving my panties aside so I can finally have him against my skin. His fingers slide through my wet folds as his tongue flicks my clit over and over and over again. I'm right there…right on the glorious edge….about to fall over but I can't. Out of nowhere, I hear her voice in my head again…

 _"You're never going to amount to anything…you'll never be good at anything. You're going to turn out just like your mother – a complete waste!"_

"Ana….baby….where'd you go?" Christian is back over me, his eyes on mine.

"I'm sorry…." I whisper.

"We don't have to do this-"

"I need to…I need to forget….please," I beg. I can't imagine how pathetic I must look right now but I need to find a way to get her out of my head. "I know if I close my eyes right now, I'll be back in her house. I don't want to go back there Christian….I can't. Please help me forget for a little while, just a little while."

I can see the internal battle he is having with himself as he takes in my words. Before he can tell me how crazy I know I sound, I reach up and pull his lips to mine. He groans when I run my tongue across his lips and I can practically feel the fight leave his body.

"Can I ask you something?" his breath his hot against my ear as he slowly grinds his erection against my sex.

"Hmmmmm," I mumble.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," my voice is clear and firm as I answer his question before he can even take a breath. "Of course I trust you."

"I want to try something…it might help you forget for a little while. Would that be okay?"

"Yes," I don't know what he wants to try but I know I trust Christian. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me so whatever he is considering I'm not worried. He lifts his head, his eyes searching mine for a few minutes before he must see whatever he was looking for.

"I'll be right back, don't go anywhere," he kisses me before quickly jumping off the bed and leaving the room. I have no idea where he is or what he is doing, but I do as he asked and stay on the bed waiting for him. It's a little weird to be laying on a bed nearly naked and just waiting, but thankfully only a few minutes pass before Christian returns. He has a towel over something in his arms which he quickly places on the floor before he turns off the light. The only light in the room is coming from the city lights below our window.

"Close your eyes baby," he whispers and the moment I do I feel him slip something soft over my eyes. My hands instantly go to my face and I find the silk eye mask that I saw in the bathroom earlier today covering my eyes. I've never been blindfolded before; I wait for the panic to set it at not knowing what's going to happen or not being able to see what's happening but it doesn't come.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"If at any point you're not comfortable or something doesn't feel good, just tell me. Promise me you'll tell me if I do something to bother you-"

"You won't Christian, but I promise."

"I'm going to put ear buds in next," I feel him move a wire under the back of my neck. "You're going to hear music and probably won't be able to hear me but I will be able to hear you. At any time you're uncomfortable-"

"I'll tell you, I promise," I reassure him.

He presses the ear buds firmly into my ears and within moments I hear soft, soothing music and I realize I must be listening to a playlist on his phone because I don't think he was gone long enough to download something. I feel Christian leave the bed but I have no idea where he went; I can't see anything and the only thing I hear is the music coming from his phone. I sigh in relief a little while later when the bed dips again. Christian takes one ear bud from my ear and I immediately feel the warmth of his breath against my skin. He takes my hands in his before sliding them under the pillow that my head rests on.

"Keep your hands right here; grab the pillow if you have to but don't move them otherwise," he instructs.

"I won't."

Without saying another word, the ear bud is back in my ear and I'm lost to the soft sounds of the piano playing. I don't know how much time passes as I realize the song I'm listening to must be on repeat because it doesn't seem to end. Eventually I feel the bed dip once again, I can sense him over me yet still jump in surprise when I feel his warm hands on my arms. He must have put some sort of oil on his hands; it leaves behind a smooth silky feeling. He rubs my arms, shoulders and neck gently before slowly continuing down my body. His touch isn't necessarily sexual but at the same time I'm finding myself once again turned on. Not being able to see, hear or touch him is….different especially since I have no idea what he has planned.

His hands move to my stomach and my hips, slowly massaging each area. I moan when his hands slip underneath me so he can rub my back. I can feel his bare chest against my breasts when he pushes me closer to him as he reaches my shoulders. I want so badly to reach out to him; to pull him closer to me so I can kiss him but instead I clutch at the pillow under my head reminding myself of Christian's instructions not to move them.

His hands move back to my front before working their way down to my legs. I feel the bed dip next to me as he must have moved to reach my legs better. By the time he finishes massaging my legs I'm completely and utterly relaxed. I don't know when Christian moves from the bed but the next thing I know the music has changed to something a little more quicker and the bed dips yet again to accommodate Christian.

"Ah!" I call out in surprise when Christian's very hot hands find my breasts. I don't know what is on his hands but whatever it is quickly heats up my skin. As he pinches my nipples, my back arches off the bed pushing myself further into his hands. His hands are all over my chest, rubbing the heated oil into my skin. The combination of the heat and his hands on me pushes even closer to the wonderful edge I was teetering on only a short time ago. I can only hope this time….

"Holy Shit that's cold!" I scream when what I can only assume is an ice cube is slowly slid down the center of my chest never touching the still heated skin of my breasts. The ice cube is all over me, but Christian still avoids my breasts and nipples which still feel as if they're on fire. All the different sensations are driving me crazy; I don't know where he is going to touch me next or with what. I moan when the ice slides across my lips; opening my mouth I suck on the ice cube allowing the cold melted water to slide down my throat. Just as quickly as it was placed against my lips, it is slid away. This time Christian slowly slides the ice around each of my breasts before sliding over my hardened nipples. I groan as the combined feeling of the scorching heat and the cold ice seems to go straight to my sex. I'm right there…right at the edge…I swear if Christian even touched me right now I would be done. I can't believe I'm this turned on and he's barely touched me-

"AHHHHH!" The ice quickly skates over my sex, pausing briefly on my clit making me practically jump off the bed. I'm reaching for Christian, but I'm not sure what for, when his hand quickly guides mine back to the pillow.

His hands are on my thighs, opening me up to him before I feel the cold of the ice once again slide over me. This time it's followed by Christian's warm fingers that tease my opening before moving to my clit. The pressure is minimal, just enough to keep me right on the edge but not enough to push me over.

"Christian….please…." I beg as the need becomes too much. Just when I don't think I can take it anymore, I feel him at my opening slowly pushing something into me at the exact moment he pinches my clit. I scream out his name, long and hard, as what must be the remaining piece of ice is pushed into my sex sending me right over that edge. I can feel the ice cold water dripping out me just before Christian plunges into me; I don't know if the first orgasm hasn't ended or if another one is starting but suddenly it's not my breasts that are the only thing on fire.

When Christian's lips find mine, I let go of the pillow and wrap my arms around his neck pulling him even closer to me. His chest is against mine; my legs are wrapped around his waist as he thrusts into me. I don't know how it's possible, but a few thrusts later and a pinch of my nipple Christian once again has me coming apart at the seams.

"Christian!"

His hand slips under me, lifting me even closer to him so he slides deeper into me. He thrusts hard and deep against me several more times before I feel his release warm me from the inside out. His breath is hot against my neck as he collapses onto me. I love the way his heavy body feels against mine and that he lets me run my hands up and down his back as he lays on top of me. In this moment, I'm reminded of just how far we have really come since we first met.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you at all?" Christian pulls the ear bud from my ear and asks after he lifts some of his weight from me. I push the eye mask off of my eyes so I can finally see him again; his eyes are full of worry and concern.

"Not at all; that was….God I don't think there are any words to describe that," amazing is the only thing that comes to mind but it doesn't seem remotely close enough to describe what just happened between us.

He rolls onto his side, taking me with him so our connection remains intact. His arm slips under the pillow that my head rests on as he holds me against me.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything baby," his response is quick and without hesitation.

"Why did you use the blindfold and music? I'm not complaining because wow…that was really amazing but…"

"I took a gamble," he explains. "I assumed that you couldn't come earlier because you got lost in your head. I figured that as long as you could, that would continue to happen no matter what I did try to bring your release out of you. My limiting your senses, essentially taking away your sight, hearing and touch, you were forced to focus on what was going on around you. I hoped that if I turned everything else off, that would only be able to focus on me. Without being able to see or hear me, you would constantly be on alert trying to figure out what I would do next. And if you were doing that, you wouldn't be able to get lost in your head again."

And that's when I realize I did exactly what he described; I concentrated on what he was doing rather than worrying about everything that happened earlier today. I was able to focus on what Christian was doing and trying to figure out what he would do next instead of worrying about what tomorrow would bring.

"Did not being able to see or hear me bother you?" Christian asks softly and when my eyes meet his I can still see the worry in them.

"Not at all," I kiss him to reassure him. "I've never been blindfolded before…"

"And?"

"It was….a real turn on," I whisper in admission.

"It makes your other senses even stronger."

"Is that why you used the heat and ice?"

"That and because it also kept you in the moment."

"Thank you Christian," I wrap my arms around him and burry my face into his neck. "That was….there really are no words, but it was truly amazing. Thank you for knowing how to give me what I needed when I didn't think it was possible."

"Maybe, I will always find ways to make you come," he chuckles and moves his now hardened erection deeper into me.

I have no idea what time it is when we finally fall asleep, all I know is that the next time I open my eyes the sun is shining brightly through the window as we had slept with the curtains open all night. Christian is sound asleep next to me; if it wasn't for the need to use the bathroom I probably would just fall back to sleep. After seeing her again last night, I expected to have the hardest time sleeping and assumed I would have multiple nightmares. I didn't though; after Christian made love to me a second time I fell right to sleep and stayed asleep the entire night.


	77. Chapter 77

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 77 CPOV:**

"No…..please don't….I'm sorry….I didn't mean to…OWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

I'm immediately woken up by Ana screaming out, her body thrashing next to me while still very much asleep. I expected this; I knew after seeing her…grandmother tonight that it was very likely she would have a nightmare. I had hoped that after making love to her twice before we finally fell asleep that she might be so exhausted that the nightmare wouldn't find her tonight, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to have worked.

"Ana baby….shhhhh," I roll to my side and pull her still thrashing body against mine. She fights against me, trying to push me away for a few seconds but I just continue to whisper in her ear trying to comfort her. "No one will ever her hurt you again. She can't hurt you anymore Ana. I will do everything possible to see that no one ever hurts you again. I love you Ana and I promise you that she will never come near you again."

I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but as soon as I once I started talking to her she stopped trying to push me away from her. I hold her tightly against me, my arms wrapped around her body pressing her against mine so she can feel my presence. It takes longer than I would like but eventually her body relaxes and her breathing returns to normal, sleep once again finding her.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same for me. Even as I lay here watching Ana once again sleep peacefully, I can't seem to turn my mind off. I don't think I've ever wanted to hurt someone as much as I want to hurt Ana's grandmother and the piece of shit ex of hers for what they did to her. Had I known that Ana's grandmother was going to attend the dinner tonight I never would have suggested we attend. However since her grandmother changed her last name after her marriage to Donald her identity wasn't flagged during Taylor's security check on the guests who had RSVP'd for the event tonight.

After an hour of lying here watching Ana sleep, I realize that sleep isn't going to find me tonight. I slip out of bed, careful not to jostle the bed too much to wake Ana and head out to the living room to grab my tablet. Although I could go into the spare bedroom and set me laptop up at the desk, I don't want to leave Ana alone in case she has another nightmare. Instead I take the tablet back to bed, easing under the covers once again so Ana doesn't wake up and then prop myself up on the pillows as I wait for the tablet to power on. A quick glance next to me confirms that Ana has remained fast asleep despite my moving in and out bed over the last few minutes.

I scan through my emails before finding the two I was hoping to find; the background checks from Taylor on Estelle as well as one on Raymond Steele. While part of me wants Ana to be the first person to learn the information about her father the other part of me needs to know if this is someone I need to protect her from. The need to protect Ana surprises me; I've never felt to protective over anyone before….well besides my immediate family. I would do anything to protect Mia, Elliot or my parents without hesitation. But, I've never felt that….responsibility for anyone besides my family. With Ana it's different; she has been hurt so much in her life already none of which she ever deserved. I will do everything I possibly can, spend every dime that I have and move whatever mountains need to be moved if it guarantees that no one will ever hurt her again.

The only thing I can't control though is what happens when I hurt her. FUCK. That was something I hadn't thought about; it's inevitable I will hurt Ana somehow. I've never been in a relationship like this before; I'm bound to fuck it up sooner or later. If I'm being honest with myself, I'm shocked I haven't fucked it up yet.

"Hmmmmm," a soft moan pulls me from my thoughts. Ana rolls over so she is facing me now and sort of curls up next to my leg. I hold my breath waiting to see if another nightmare is about to start but thankfully Ana remains quiet and fast asleep.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I go back to the email on my tablet. I decide to at least briefly skim through the information Taylor has on Raymond Steele so I know what we're dealing with. I open the file and hold my breath while it loads; I'm usually not the type of person who hopes for things but this time I am. I'm hoping that this man who may possibly be Ana's biological father is not like all the other deadbeats her mother brought into Ana's life. I'm hoping that for once Ana will have a family member who is half way decent and who is someone that will actually be there for her if she needs someone. I'm also hoping that Ana's grandmother didn't give us some fucked up version of reality and lie about who this man really is. I'd like to hope that someone wouldn't do something like that, but at this point I'm not putting anything passed Ana's evil grandmother especially after everything she has already done to Ana. I can't even begin to imagine how Ana will feel if her grandmother lied to her and this man wasn't her father. I wish there were some way I could find the truth out before Ana but for once even I know that no amount of money in the world can get me that information. The only way we will know for certain if this man is Ana's father is through a paternity test which will require both of their consents unfortunately.

Initially skim through the report on Raymond Steele only stopping when I get to the criminal record section of the report. I'm both surprised and thankful to learn that Raymond Steele doesn't have a criminal record. Of course that doesn't mean he's not some low life that Ana's mother picked up at a bar or something, but at least it's a start. Feeling slightly relieved I return to the top of the report and start reading it from the beginning. What I find in the report surprises me; based on everything that Ana has told me everything in the report itself is completely unexpected.

After firing off an email to Welch requesting some additional information, I open up the next background report that Taylor had sent me overnight. This one also surprises me, but in a completely different way. It turns out that Ana's grandmother is about to lose everything and based on this report she will have practically nothing left after Donald divorces her assuming he had her sign an iron clad pre nup before they married. I have no way of knowing if a pre nup was signed but given Donald's wealth I can only hope he consulted an attorney before marrying that evil woman.

I learn quite a bit while reading through Estelle's background report. One: she's pretty much completely broke yet was living far beyond her means before she married Donald. Apparently Estelle's late husband invested most of their money with someone who ended up making some very poor investment decisions costing them nearly everything. After his death, Estelle appears to have lived off of his life insurance however that money was never invested to be given an opportunity to grow. Instead she had it deposited into a savings account which she drew on whenever she needed it. As the money ran out, she was forced to sell her property. Over the last decade she has sold four vacation homes and a large boat. All that remains in her possession is the house in New York where I believe Ana lived with her. Two: Estelle's debt was paid off when she married Donald. She didn't have very much debt, only about ten thousand dollars in credit card debt but it was completely paid off the week after she married Donald. Three: She will be left with nothing if Donald does divorce her. Based on her spending patterns before the marriage, I doubt she will be able to maintain even the taxes on the property let alone the upkeep of the house itself.

The realization that Estelle will be broke when the divorce is finalized is kind of disappointing. I'm not above admitting that I was looking forward to ruining the woman who tried to destroy Ana. I send an email to my legal team to request that they use whatever resources they have to find out if Donald and Estelle signed a pre nup prior to their wedding date. If not, my plan to ruin Estelle will be back on; I will ensure the woman has absolutely nothing by the time I'm done with her.

 _I want someone assigned to Estelle, covertly of course. I want to know the minute she lands in New York and every move she makes after that. Consider her a threat –C_

 _Already done, sir. I had someone assigned to her from the moment they returned to their hotel. –T_

 _I want someone doing surveillance on Raymond Steele; I don't think we need to consider him a threat yet but I want to know more about him –C_

 _Understood. I will have someone start on it today –T_

 _Thanks –C_

 _Sir…if I may ask…-T_

 _Go ahead –C_

 _How is Ana sir? With everything that happened…-T_

 _I'm not sure. She was doing better last night than I expected –C_

 _Do you want me to have Flynn fly out? –T_

 _I don't think that's necessary. We'll keep him on standby for a skype session if needed –C_

 _Very well sir. –T_

"You're up early," Ana looks up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and a small smile on her lips.

"I think the time change still has me a little messed up," I lie.

"Did you sleep enough?"

"I did," I lie again, not wanting to admit that I probably slept only a few hours before her nightmare woke me.

"I slept so good last night, thank you…." She blushes likely recalling why she thinks she slept so good. I'm not too surprised she doesn't remember the nightmare it's happened before when we've slept together. Unlike Ana, my nightmares have always woken me up; I've never been able to sleep through one and not have it disrupt my night.

"It was my pleasure," I smirk letting her know I'm fully aware of what she's thinking right now.

"Are we still sight-seeing today?"

"If you still want to…but if you don't feel up to it we can spend the day here or do something else-"

"No, I want to see Boston. Unless you have work you need to do-"

"No, I'm all yours today."

"Good! Then we can leave after breakfast?"

"If that's what you want."

"Sounds good. Ever since we flew over the water near the airport I've been looking forward to seeing more Boston. You said we're within walking distance of the water right?"

"Yes, just a few blocks away is the water. We can start there and then go from there if you want," Ana nods in agreement. "I don't want to bring up last night, but Taylor sent me the background report on your…on Raymond Steele if you want to see it."

"No…I mean not yet," she sighs. "I think I want to wait until we're back in Seattle or at least on the jet flying back there. I want to enjoy Boston while we're here and since _she_ ruined last night already, I want to have something positive to look back on from this trip when we return to Seattle."

"Okay, if you change your mind let me know," I don't know if Ana is afraid she is going to hear bad news or if she just wants to put off the inventible but I can't blame her for wanting to wait. In a way I'm relieved she doesn't want to tackle this issue first thing this morning since it will give my team more time to gather information. I'm very eager to hear what the PI has to say about Raymond Steele.

The day is not what I expect at all; I've been to Boston several times over the years but always for business. I've never taken the time to sight see in any city let alone Boston, it just wasn't something that was important to me before. I always traveled for business and then left when my business was concluded. Even after meetings were concluded and I was back in the hotel for the night, I would be working. Looking back at it now, I'm disappointed that I haven't taken the time to sight see in Boston or any of the other cities I've visited for business over the years. Until I came here with Ana, it was never a priority; my life always revolved around work.

Boston truly is a beautiful city; the hotel we are staying at is only blocks away from the beautiful water front. When we arrived at the water, we found a bench to sit at and quietly spent time watching the boats on the water. Taylor and Sawyer remained in the distance of course, but for those few minutes it was as if nothing else existed in the world. Although the view was entirely different, the serenity of it all reminded me of when Ana and I were in Fiji. Even though it was only 3 short months ago that we were there in a way it feels like much longer.

"Where to now?" Ana asks with a bright smile on her face.

"Wherever you want to go," I take her hand and let her lead the way. We are spending most of the day on foot today, walking through the city much to Taylor's dissatisfaction. If it was up to Taylor we would be driven everywhere but when Ana and I were talking this morning her face lit up at the idea of walking around the city just sort of taking it in as we went. Taylor eventually relented, but only after insisting that Sawyer follow us in the SUV.

Ana's demeanor is entirely different from last night; I don't know how she has done it but it's almost as if she has forgotten last night even occurred. While I know that's not possible, it's nice to see Ana back to herself even if it's only temporary. When I learned who Estelle was last night I was certain that Ana would want to head back to Seattle as soon as possible just to get away from anything that reminded her of that woman. Like she has time and time again since I met Ana, she managed to surprise me once again.

Our day couldn't have been more perfect; I enjoy watching Ana's reaction to everything around us. For the first time, I'm taking the time to notice the small things. We walk through neighborhoods with cobblestone streets, spend a couple of hours walking around an art museum and even have an impromptu lunch in a park. The day ends with a boat ride that Taylor somehow managed to completely buy out so that the only people on the boat besides Ana and myself are Taylor and Sawyer. I know tomorrow things will change when Ana learns about the man who may be her biological father, but today everything was perfect.

 _Author's Note: I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up. I had serious motivation issues when it came to writing this week and last. Honestly I probably wrote this chapter over 4 or 5 days which is very unlike me. I think this chapter was more of a filler chapter; I know some of you expected answers about Ray or Estelle but I feel like Christian and Ana needed to connect before anything else happened. The next chapter will bring more information about Ray… Thank you all for your patience and continued support for this story!_


	78. Chapter 78

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: Many thanks to_ _ramanreinee_ _for the idea behind this chapter. She suggested it in a review for a few chapters back in April, but it wasn't until now that I could fit the idea into the story line somewhere. Just a reminder, if you're on facebook feel free to send me a friend request (Madison fanfictionauthor) for sneak peeks at chapters and pictures of what I'm describing in chapters. For those of you who do follow me on facebook, several people guessed correctly what Ana would be feeling in this chapter although I didn't see anyone guess the location based on the picture. I do not have a pinterest page and will not be putting one up for any of my stories so the only pics you will get is if you follow me on facebook!_

 **Chpt. 78 APOV:**

"How far are we from Harvard?" I ask.

"The campus? Probably 15 to 20 minutes, maybe more depending on traffic. Why?" Christian asks.

"I thought maybe we could go there."

"To Harvard?"

"I know you've been there obviously, but I haven't and heard the campus is beautiful. I thought it would be nice to walk around and see the school. If you don't want to-"

"No, it's fine. If you want to go there, we can go. We're not scheduled to take off for Seattle until later this afternoon so we have time."

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. I haven't been back since I dropped out, so it'll be interesting to see how much the campus has changed since then."

"You attended a year right?"

"Less than a year, much to my father's dismay," he sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "I did great in all my classes of course, but I couldn't see the point in spending all that money and time on an education that I didn't think I needed. It would be four years to obtain my bachelor's degree plus an additional two years for my MBA. That meant putting my business on hold for at least six years. After completing my first semester I realized that I didn't want to wait six years to start my company. So I spend the last few weeks of my first semester and all of winter break learning everything I could about the business industry. I developed a solid business plan and presented it to my grandfather who agreed to invest the money I needed to start GEH."

"How did your father react?"

"He was pissed as you can imagine. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps, which meant receiving a degree from Harvard. He didn't understand why I couldn't wait until after graduation to start GEH. Despite how successful GEH currently is, I think he is still disappointed that I didn't finish my degree."

"You think so?"

"I don't know for certain," he shrugs. "It's not like he's come right out and said it, but I sometimes I think that's what he's thinking."

"Maybe you should talk to him about it."

"Maybe."

"So, while you were at Harvard you never came to this area?" I ask when it's clear that Christian no longer wants to talk about how his dad feels about Harvard.

"No, I pretty much stayed on campus during my first semester except to find a party or something but they were typically limited to only a few miles from campus," he smirks. "Once I decided I didn't want to continue there, I spent all my spare time developing a business plan and learning everything I thought I would need to know before opening GEH. I withdrew during spring break and didn't return to Boston until I was looking at a company out here."

"It's a beautiful city."

"It is….I just never took the time to notice it before."

Taylor navigates through the city traffic of Boston much the same as he does in Seattle and before I know it we are on the out skirts of the city heading towards the campus. Christian spends a few minutes on his phone for the first time since yesterday morning before we went sight seeing. Yesterday he stuck to his word and didn't check his phone once which surprised me because I'm sure emails were coming through while we were out. Yesterday was probably the most relaxed I've seen Christian since we returned from our honeymoon in Fiji.

"Taylor, drop us in front," Christian requests.

"Yes sir."

We pull through a large u-shaped driveway, stopping in front of an incredibly large building set far off the road with a beautiful lawn in front of us. Sawyer gets out of the car with us while Taylor drives off to find a parking spot. From just this small view of the campus I can tell it's going to be as gorgeous in real life as it is in the pictures I've seen.

When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time in the guidance counselor's office looking at the different brochures and booklets on various colleges and universities. I would spend any free time I had in the office; it was my little escape from reality. School itself was an escape, but sitting there and looking through the books allowed me to dream of a possible future one day. My counselor was fantastic, always encouraging me to look at different schools and she even helped me narrow down a major before I even began applying for admission. She helped me find and apply for so many scholarships, despite knowing how wealthy my grandmother was. I think on some level she must have known that my grandmother wasn't going to help me with my tuition, although I'm not sure how she would know that. My grandmother had many connections in New York and made it clear to me that anything I did in school would be reported back to her before I even stepped foot in her house. I knew better than to tell anyone about what it was really like living in her house. Harvard was one of the many places I would escape to while in that small office; I looked the same catalogue so often that my guidance counselor suggested multiple times that I apply for admission. I broke down and applied one day and was shocked when I was granted acceptance into the school for the following year. However, when I took the time to look at the tuition costs I immediately knew there was no way I could afford to attend. Even if I maxed out student loans it wouldn't have covered my tuition and living expenses. According to my guidance counselor most students who don't receive enough scholarships to cover their tuition will have their parents assistance either paying the tuition directly to taking loans out themselves to help their children. There was no way my grandmother would ever help me, so Harvard quickly became another lost dream.

I enjoyed my time at NYU; it was far enough away from my grandmother that I didn't need to return to her house except for semester breaks when the dorms would close and force students who lived on campus. I lucked out that unlike Harvard, at NYU the scholarships covered the bulk of my tuition and I had only to take out small loans each semester to help cover my room and board costs.

Christian takes his time giving me a tour of the campus, telling me a little about the buildings he was familiar with. It's hard to picture Christian as a college student here, for some reason I just picture him at GEH in his suit and tie. I can't see him sitting in a classroom listening to lecture after lecture, which I suppose is the exact reason he didn't continue.

"Christian?" a female voice from behind us calls.

As we turn around, Sawyer and Taylor immediately change positions so that one is between us and the woman who called out while the other is behind us.

"Taylor, step aside," Christian insists. After a minute, Taylor seems to reluctantly agree and takes position next to Christian. A woman, who looks about Christian's age or maybe a little older, approaches us. She has long blond hair that is styled perfectly with a face full of make up to match. She is wearing a fitted dark blue dress with a jacket over it, making her look as if she is ready to walk into a court room or something.

"Christian? I thought that was you!" the blond woman rushes up to Christian but stops the moment she sees what I see. Christian has no idea who this woman is.

"I'm sorry…..?" he says.

"It's Suzanne! You probably don't remember me, I was a brunette when we first met-"

"Oh! Yes, I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting to see anyone here that I know." Christian must realize who she is because his grip on my hand relaxes as he greets the woman standing in front of us.

"What are you doing here? Did you move back to Boston? Last I heard you were in Seattle."

"I'm still in Seattle. My wife and I were in Boston for an event and thought we would visit the campus before we left. Suzanne I would like you to meet my wife Anastasia, Ana this is Suzanne – we went to Harvard together."

"It's nice to meet you," I smile politely at her but she barely nods in my direction before returning her full attention to Christian. It's in that moment I decide I don't like this woman at all; I found it very rude that she couldn't at least return my greeting.

"I've followed your career over the last few years Christian, you've done very well for yourself," she places her hand on his lower arm casually by her eyes say something entirely different. His body tenses the moment her hand lands on him and for some unknown reason this makes me feel a little better. It doesn't make sense because I certainly shouldn't feel at ease because he is tense, but I do. I don't know how well they knew each other before, but it's obvious by the look in her eyes that she sees him or least saw him as more than a friend.

"Thank you," he pauses clearly unsure what to say. "What are you doing on campus?"

"I'm an adjunct professor here, my class starts in less than five minutes. If you're going to be here, why don't we meet up after the class for lunch? We can catch each other up on the last few years over lunch-"

"I'm sorry," I interrupt tired of being ignored by Suzanne. "Unfortunately we have a flight to catch back to Seattle that leaves soon."

"You can't take a later flight to Seattle Christian?" Christian grips my hand a little tighter; I'm not sure if it's because he can feel how irritated I am with her or if he just wants to let me know that he isn't the one ignoring me which is not what I thought.

"No, my _wife_ is right, our flight is schedule to depart soon and due to prior obligations we need to be back in Seattle tonight."

Is it wrong that I liked that he just emphasized the word wife?

"That's a shame," she pouts and bats her eyes at him which just angers me further. "I was hoping we could catch up. Let me give you my card, we should keep in touch. I'd love to learn more about what you've been up to besides the information in the magazines."

"If you'll excuse us," Christian turns his body away from her and faces me. "Are you ready to head back to the car or was there something else you wanted to see before we left?"

"No I think I'm good," I lift up on my tip toes kissing him on the cheek while putting my hand on the middle of his chest. I know the move was childish, but I had an overwhelming urge to kiss Christian in front of Suzanne. I hear Suzanne gasp besides us which confirms what I originally, they knew each other fairly well while they were in here together. I shake my head not wanting to think about just how well they might have known each other.

"Here Christian, before you go," Suzanne pushes a business card towards Christian. "My cell phone number is on the back, call me sometime."

Christian doesn't indicate whether he will call her or not but takes the card and stuffs it into the pocket of his jeans.

"It was nice seeing you again Suzanne, but if you will excuse us we have a plane to catch and I'm sure you have a class to get to," he says.

"Oh! Yes, you're right," she confirms after looking at her watch. "Call me sometime, I'd love to catch up with you. I'd love to hear about what you found in Seattle and how it compares to what Boston has to offer."

"Take care Suzanne," Christian says.

I don't say goodbye to Suzanne given that she has yet to say a word to me. Christian wraps his arm around my waist and leads me in the direction we originally came from as Taylor leads us to the parking lot where the SUV is waiting for us.

"I'm sorry about that Ana, I hadn't expected to see her here," Christian says the moment we are in the SUV.

"I know you didn't plan it; it's not like we even planned to come here until this morning," I shrug. "I thought she was very rude though."

"It's just her nature; she likes to try to intimidate people."

"Not you though," I point out. "She definitely wasn't trying to intimidate you."

"Because she knows she can't; it won't work with me."

"How do you know her? I mean I know you went to school together, but hundreds of other students must have been at Harvard at the same time as you. Did you two have classes together?"

"Let's talk about this on the plane," he glances towards Taylor and Sawyer in the front seats. Christian rarely worries about what Taylor overhears so I'm curious as to what he is going to say. I have a feeling I know what it is already, but I'm hoping I'm wrong.

The ride to the airport is quick and before I know it Christian and I are settled into our seats while Sawyer secures the couple of bags we brought with us on the trip. Taylor sets everything up in the small security office that is near the front of the plane where Sawyer joins him once he is finished with the luggage. Unlike with commercial jets, there's no waiting forever for everyone to be seated and then the flight attendants going through every seat to make sure every is secure so we are quickly in the air and on our way back to Seattle.

"Let's go back to the bedroom," Christian says as soon as the seatbelt light turns off. He takes my hand and leads me into the bedroom towards the back of the plane. "Suzanne and I had a mutual acquaintance which is how we initially met. I….I was at a party one night and met another student there; we seemed to hit things off but when….we went out to the car to fool around I restrained her hands with mine behind her back and she hated it, stopping things immediately. I respected her choice of course, but things ended there. As she was getting out of the car she called me a freak-"

"Christian…" I sigh thinking about how rejected he must have felt in that moment.

"It wasn't the first time, but thankfully because of her it was the last time. She was friends with Suzanne and apparently ran back to her to tell her about what just happened. A few days later I was at the cafeteria where Suzanne approached me. She told me that her friend told her what had happened and that she knew a place that I could be more comfortable at."

"She introduced you to BDSM," I said what I was suspecting all along.

"Yes. Suzanne was a graduate student at Harvard whereas I was a freshman, so we didn't have any classes together. At a small table in the corner of the cafeteria that day she told me a little about BDSM and invited me to a club that she knew of."

"So you and her…..?" I don't even want to say it.

"Me and Suzanne? NO!"

"But you said she introduced you to BDSM?"

"Introduced…she did just that. We talked, she took me to a club where alternative lifestyles were practiced including BDSM. She introduced me to people and answered my questions, but no we were never in a scene together. There was never anything physical between us."

"But she wanted you."

"Wanted me? No, Ana….Suzanne and I are both…well I was and I assume she is still a dom. Both of us need too much control over a scene; neither of us would be capable of submitting."

"Maybe that's how you see it, but I'm not sure that's how she sees it."

"I don't think-"

"Christian! She wanted you; she made that clear as day-"

"When?"

"Today! She kept touching your arm-"

"She was just being friendly-"

"Christian," I sigh and shake my head. "She batted her eyes at you, touched your arm constantly and only had eyes for you. She wanted you."

"I don't think that was the case, but even if she did it wouldn't matter. Nothing would ever happen between us and you know why?"

"Because you both need control."

"No, Ana," he gathers me into his arms and pulls me so I'm straddling him. "Nothing would ever happen between me and Suzanne or anyone else because I love you. I don't want anyone else, I don't need anyone else. I _want_ you, I _need_ you. You're it for me Ana, there's no one else."

"Christian," I whisper his name as the emotions overwhelm me from his words.

"I gave Sawyer the card she gave me before I got into the SUV and told him to dispose of it. You never have to worry about-"

I cut him off by kissing him, his words giving me the reassurance I needed at that moment. Somehow Christian knew exactly what I needed to hear; he knew exactly what to say to calm the jealousy that I was feeling. I've never felt jealous before, even when I was with _him_ and women talked to him I never felt jealous. Yet all it took was Suzanne looking at Christian the way she did to make me feel jealous.

"I love you Christian and I'm sorry for how I behaved-"

"You have nothing to apologize for Ana; I don't want you to ever apologize for how you feel. I love you baby."

"Make love to me Christian, please."

 _Author's Note 2: The long awaited answers about Ray will come in the next chapter._


	79. Chapter 79

_Author's Note: First, I apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up. I will bore you most of the details, but my company is going through a major transition right now that will continue over the next several months. While I'm thankful that my job is secure through this transition, it does mean some changes for the 300+ employees that I oversee. I've been busy with meetings and conference calls trying to figure everything out which unfortunately means less time for writing. The last chapter seemed to have gotten a few mixed reviews which sort of surprised me. A couple people said it was a filler chapter while others didn't think Ana should have apologized for feeling guilty. I didn't write the last chapter as a filler; I hoped it would show Christian a new side of Ana letting him feel how deep her feelings went for him while giving a little more history on how Christian was introduced to BDSM. As far as Ana apologizing, please remember she is a survivor of domestic violence and physical abuse as a child. It's going to be in her nature to apologize when she think she has upset someone even if she shouldn't apologize. As always, thank you for your reviews and feedback on each chapter!_

 **Chpt. 79 CPOV:**

As Ana sleeps in my arms, I can't help but watch her. Her beautiful, warm body is curled against mine and it takes everything in me to not slide back into and make love to her all over again. Today was another new experience for me and it caught me completely by surprise. I've never had a woman be jealous and possessive of me as Ana was today towards Suzanne. Once I thought about it, I could definitely see that Suzanne may have been flirting with me in front of Ana which if that's what she was trying to do angers me because that means she was disrespecting Ana. I don't think I considered it in the moment because logically I just assumed Suzanne knew things would never work between us in the past because we are both too controlling. I'm taken back that Suzanne would have flirted with me today even after I introduced Ana as my wife to her. I'll never understand what makes a woman go after a married man. I would never consider even looking at another woman again; not since I found Ana and fell in love with her. I meant what I told her, she's it for me. There will never be anyone else. When I watched her eyes fill with tears at my words, I let myself hope that perhaps I wasn't the only one feeling that way.

The buzzing of my cell phone still in my pants pocket pulls my attention away from the woman sleeping in my arms. As much as I would love to stay here for the remainder of our flight, I know I really should check through the emails that have poured in over the last couple of days. Other than an occasional random glance at my phone, I haven't paid much attention to any of the emails that have come through since we've been in Boston. Knowing that I've ignored GEH long enough, I quietly slip out of bed wash up in the adjoining bathroom before throwing my clothes back on and heading out to the main area of the jet.

Taylor and Sawyer both nod to me before going back to talking about a football game that was apparently on earlier in the day. I grab a cup of coffee and settle into my seat to read through emails. I know that if something significant had happened over the weekend either Roz or Andrea would have called me immediately but I still don't like the idea of having so many unread messages sitting in my inbox. Until I met Ana, I rarely went more than a couple of hours without checking my email. Vacations were few and far between; when they did occur they were almost always working vacations. Somehow since bumping into Ana on the sidewalk that rainy day, my outlook on nearly everything has changed. How is it one person can make you look at things so differently?

"There you are," Ana slips in the seat next to me looking completely refreshed about an hour later.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"I did…until I woke up and realized you weren't there."

"Sorry about that; my phone started vibrating and I couldn't ignore the unread messages much longer."

"Did you get through them all?"

"I got through the important ones. Everything else can wait until tomorrow."

"Are you going into the office tomorrow?"

"No, we're not expected to land in Seattle until the early hours of the morning so I doubt I will have the energy to go into the office unless I need to. I'm plan on working from Escala for a few hours in the afternoon."

"I emailed Mia and it seems things went well at the bakery while we were away. She's going to come by Escala tomorrow afternoon if you don't mind to go over a few things-"

"Why don't you invite her to stay for dinner afterwards? I'll give Elliot a call and see if he wants to stop by too."

"I'll text her and ask."

A few minutes later the flight attendant serves us a dinner while Ana and I chat about how the bakery is doing. I'm really proud of how Ana is handling the bakery especially given that she can't be there as much as I know she wants to. I'm thankful that Mia seems to have found her niche and is enjoying working with Ana and Ginny. I know Ana was nervous when I first handed her the deed to the bakery on our flight to Fiji, but she has proven that she really didn't have a need to be nervous. She is exploring new advertising options and has spoken with GEH's IT department about upgrading the website to include catering orders.

"I think I'm ready," Ana says after we finish our dinner and the flight attendant just refilled our wine glasses.

"Ready?"

"To read about my….Raymond Steele," I can tell she is nervous or maybe scared so I wrap my arm around her and guide her into the bedroom so we can talk privately. Typically I could care less what Taylor and Sawyer over hear, but this is Ana's past and I know privacy is important to her.

"Here's the background report, criminal record and a report from the CPO that we've had assigned to Raymond Steele," I retrieve the manila folder from my briefcase and hand it to her. She doesn't open it right away but just sort of stares at it.

"You've read this?" she asks.

"Yes," I should feel guilty but I don't. I needed to know what was in that file before I showed it to Ana; I needed to know if this man was a risk.

"Can you tell me….is he….like the others?"

"From what I've seen in this report Ana he is nothing like the men you've described your mother brought home."

"You're sure?"

"Am I one hundred percent certain, no. But only because I haven't met the guy yet and because we haven't been following him long enough to establish consistent patterns. However, everything in this report seems to support the fact that he is generally a pretty decent guy," I open the folder and walk her through each report.

"He's married," she whispers.

"He is and has three children, all younger than you. He was not married at the time he was with your mother or around the time that she supposedly went to find him. His name also doesn't appear on a birth certificate for a child until you were about three years old."

"Doesn't mean he isn't someone else's father; his name isn't on my birth certificate either."

"You're right, it doesn't mean anything."

"So I have siblings."

"If this man is your father, than yes you have two brothers and a sister. Raymond has been married for more than 20 years to the same woman. They live in a decent neighborhood only a few hours from Seattle-"

"Really? He's near Seattle?"

"Yes, according to these reports he has always lived in Washington other than the time he spent with the military of course."

"He certainly doesn't sound like my mother's type…"

"You need to remember Ana that was a long time ago; we don't know what your mother or Raymond was alike back then."

"That's true."

"Although he's retired from the Army, he runs a small woodworking shop from his house custom making pieces of furniture which are sold in a few local stores. His wife is a teacher at a local elementary school. Financially, they seem to be doing fairly well; their house is paid off and they have minimal debt. No criminal records for either of them. They have one child graduating from high school this year; the other two are both enlisted in the Army as well. None of their children have any criminal records either."

"This wasn't what I was expecting at all."

"Honestly Ana, neither was I which is why I immediately read through the file the other night when Taylor sent it to me. Based on what you told me about the men your mother surrounded herself with, I needed to know if this man was like that."

"I was prepared for you to tell me he had a criminal record pages long or even that he was in jail currently. I didn't expect you to tell me that he's a family man…. I don't suppose there's anything in this file that links him to my mother?"

"No, unfortunately nothing concrete. According to his Army records, he was on leave around the time you would have been conceived but…."

"It doesn't prove he is my father or that he even knew my mother."

"Unfortunately no. Ana, if there was information out there that I could get to give you answers, I would do it. There's very few things that money can't buy and unfortunately this is one of them. We will need his consent to have a DNA test completed."

"I figured as much. I don't know how to go about this…what am I supposed to do call him on the phone and say _Hi, you don't know me but I might be your daughter?_ "

"If you want to meet him, Taylor has an idea that could avoid the awkward phone call."

"What's his idea?"

"Taylor was stationed with a buddy who served with Raymond Steele a few years ago. Taylor's idea was to call Raymond and introduce himself letting him know that their mutual buddy gave him his number. Taylor will arrange a meeting under the pretense that he is interested in a custom built piece of furniture. At which point, we will go meet him…if that's what you want. You don't have to do anything, Ana. You don't need to meet him if you don't want to."

"I think I need to. I need to know if my mother was lying to me my whole life or if my…grandmother was lying to me the other night. I've never had a real family, not like the one you have Christian. If he is my father, I don't expect that instant relationship but it would be nice to know that there was someone out there that…"

"I get it Ana. If you want to do this, I'll have Taylor set up a meeting in a few days. I'll have Andrea book us a hotel for a few days in the area so if you want to spend more time with him you can. Taylor will also find a lab nearby that can put a rush on the DNA test results so you can have an answer as soon as possible."

"Thank you Christian….I don't think I'd be able to do this without you."

"You'd be able to Ana; you're one of the strongest people I know. But, you don't have to do it alone."

I take the folder from Ana's hands and place it on the desk before lying down on the bed and pulling Ana towards me. Her body immediately relaxes against mine; she wraps her hand around my waist holding me against her. I make a mental note to talk to Flynn tomorrow; I don't know how I can support Ana in meeting the man who could be her father in a few days. I feel like I need to do something; simply standing next to her when she knocks on his door doesn't seem like enough. There must be something I can do to help her through this. If anyone could tell me what that might be it would be Flynn.

 _Author's Note: short chapter today, but I'm hoping to have another one up Friday. I'm sure this chapter was a little boring, but we needed to get out what we know about Ray before Ana meets him (next chapter)._


	80. Chapter 80

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 80 APOV:**

"Are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to, you know. If you want to turn and go back to Seattle we can. Or just go spend the rest of the weekend at the hotel we can do that too. Whatever you want to do Ana is fine."

We've been parked outside Raymond Steele's house for a couple of minutes now. Taylor is waiting outside while I get up the nerve to actually leave the car and have what will probably be a very difficult conversation with a man who may or may not be my father. It's been two weeks since I learned who Raymond Steele was, but it's only been in the last few days that I decided I was ready to meet him. And now here we are sitting outside a modest house in a quiet rural area a few hours from Seattle.

"I'm ready," I take a deep breath and at least try to appear stronger than I feel right now. Inside my body is shaking, my stomach is turning and I feel like I'm about to lose the lunch we stopped for a short time ago. However, on the outside, I'm trying to portray myself as someone who is strong and who can get through whatever is about to happen. The look in Christian's eyes in that moment tells me that I'm not fooling him at all, but he simply squeezes my hand and kisses me softly on the lips before knocking on the window to let Taylor know that we are ready.

As we slowly make our way up the side walk to the front door, I take in the view around me. Mountains can be seen in the distance and the only thing that surrounds us is silence. There are a few houses down the road, but the houses are set pretty far apart. The yard, if you can call something this large a yard, is a mix between woods, open grass and colorful flowers.

"Mr. Steele, I would like you to introduce you to my boss, Christian Grey and his wife Anastasia," Taylor says as soon as the front door is opened. Taylor had previously contacted Raymond and arranged today's visit under the guidelines that his boss wanted to meet with him to discuss custom furniture. An NDA was signed before we arrived to eliminate the risk of the media learning the true reason for our visit.

A man stands in front of us, his eyes glued to mine and I can't help but wonder if by some chance he recognizes me. I quickly toss that thought though; he's never met me and as far as I know never saw me so it's impossible for him to have recognized me. Still, I can't help but look at him – trying to see if I have any of his features. I never thought I looked like my mother, but I never saw pictures of her when she was younger so it's hard to know for sure. I know I looked nothing like her when she was older but I think by the time I even started to look for similarities the effects of long term drug use had already taken it's toll on her.

Raymond stands in front of us, completely still; maybe he's surprised at who he is meeting with as I'm sure Taylor hadn't revealed who his boss was until we arrived. Even if I hadn't read it in the background report, I would immediately know that Raymond was in the military. His close haircut, impeccable posture and just his overall presence screams military. When I look at his eyes, I notice that they are light blue like mine are. My mother had brown eyes; but I have to remind myself that there are millions of people on this earth who have blue eyes. Over the last two weeks I've tried to keep myself busy to not think about the what ifs that involve this entire situation. However, now that I stand here in front of the man who could possibly be my father, all of those what ifs come immediately back to mind.

"I'm sorry," Raymond shakes his head. "You look like someone I used to know, you'll have to excuse me. I'm pleased to meet you, I'm Ray and we can head into my workshop to look at some of the pieces I've already completed. If you'll follow me-"

"Actually, Mr. Steele-" Christian interrupts.

"Ray, please call me Ray. Mr. Steele was always my father," he chuckles.

"Ray, we're not actually here about the furniture. We have a rather personal matter we would like to discuss with you privately. Is there perhaps somewhere we could talk?"

"Oh…of course, please come in," he stutters before opening the door leading us into a lovely living room. "My wife is at work and won't be home until much later. Please take a seat."

Christian and I sit on the small love seat while Ray sits down on the couch adjacent to us. Taylor excuses himself and steps back outside, giving us the privacy he obviously knows we need. For several minutes we all just sit there in silence, I don't think anyone really knows what to say.

"You said I reminded you of someone you used to know?" I ask.

"Yes….you look very similar to someone I knew many years ago. The resemblance is uncanny," he shakes his head almost in disbelief.

"Can I ask who I remind you of?" I hold my breath waiting for his response.

"A young girl I used to date; we were both much younger than you are but none the less you still look like her."

"What was her name?"

"Carla."

I close my eyes for a brief second, just letting what he said sit in. Although this confirms absolutely nothing, it at least tells me that my grandmother didn't make up his name. I don't know if I should let myself hope that the rest of her story was truthful or that my mother's story to her was the correct one.

"That's actually the reason we're here," Christian says after several minutes of silence.

"You know Carla? Gosh, I haven't seen her in probably more than 25 years."

"Carla was my mother," I announce rather than say.

"You look so much like her; when I opened the door it was like looking at her 25 years ago. Your eyes are different, but other than that you could be her twin. Wait….you said she was your mother. Did Carla…"

"She passed away about 12 years ago," I explain.

"I'm so sorry. We lost touch with each other years ago unfortunately."

"There's no easy to way to say this," I take a deep breath getting ready to rip the band aid off. I can't sit here and pretend to make small chart with the elephant still in the room. I'm sure Ray is too polite to ask, but he has to be wondering why we're here and I don't want to get to know a man who's only connection to me may be a friendship through my mother. "When I was younger, my mother told me that my father had died one week after I was born on his way home from work. That he had been killed by a drunk driver. I grew up my entire life believing what she had told me, however a couple of weeks ago I spoke to my grandmother who claims that my father hadn't died in a car accident after all."

"He didn't?" I can almost see the realization in his eyes when he puts two and two together.

"According to my grandmother, my mother told her that you were my father-"

"Wait….how old are you?"

"I'm 25; I turn 26 in January."

"January….which means you would have been conceived….fuck."

He gets up from the couch and walks into the kitchen; we hear him banging around for a few minutes before he returns with a bottle of whisky, a bottle of wine and a few glasses. I take the glass of wine he offers me while Ray and Christian each take a glass of whiskey. The shock is still evident in his face after he finishes the first drink far too quickly. He hasn't done the one thing I expected yet….he hasn't denied the possibility. I know with my mother's history, the likelihood of her staying loyal to one guy was probably minimal but I can't help but wonder if this man could truly be my father.

"What did you grandmother tell you exactly?" he asks after several more moments of silence.

"That you and my mother met at a mutual friend's wedding; you got her drunk and took her back to your hotel room," I'm almost embarrassed to repeat what my grandmother told me. "She claims you took advantage of my mother because she was only 18. When she finally told them she was pregnant her father tried to find you but you had already been shipped overseas. She said you were a private in the army at that time."

"The only part of that story that is accurate is that I was shipped overseas shortly after the wedding," he sighs and takes another drink before continuing. "I didn't meet your mother at the wedding for the first time; we had arranged to see each other there but we had known each other for two years before that."

"You did?"

"I met your mother when she was 16 and I was 17. I was in New York visiting family for the summer; my uncle had a farm not far from where her parents lived. I met her one day in town at the ice cream shop; it was a very small town where everyone pretty much knew everyone. Even though the ice cream shop was packed, she immediately caught my attention. Long story short, we spent nearly every day of the summer together. We had to sneak around though, because she said her parents wouldn't approve of her dating me. You see, we weren't exactly from the same class. Her family had money, and lots of it; while my parents did alright for themselves it was nothing compare to what her family had. Your mother didn't care about money though, she was more about gestures than gifts. I remember at the end of the summer I saved up nearly all the money I earned working for my uncle and bought her a necklace. When I gave it to her, you know how she reacted?"

"How?" I'm feeling as if I'm learning about a woman I never knew. The person he knew doesn't even sound like my mother.

"She was angry," he chuckles. "She was pissed that I would spend the money I earned on a gift for her. She ordered me to return the item and not to come back until I found a way to properly say goodbye. It took me a few days, but I managed to pull it off. I packed a picnic lunch one day and took her down to the lake on my uncle's property where we spent hours talking."

"What happened at the end of the summer?"

"Obviously this was before the internet, so email and texting that you kids do so much of now wasn't an option back then. Instead we had to resort to sending letters. Your mother couldn't risk having her parents find out that we were still talking; to her knowledge they had no idea we even knew each other. So I would send letters to one of her girlfriend's houses who would then in turn give them to her. She would write me back and her friend would mail them to me. We became sort of pen pals I guess you could say for the next year. The following summer, I was only able to visit with my uncle for a week as I had decided to join the army and was being shipped off to boot camp before the end of the summer. Your mother and I spent every day together that week; we tried to make the most out of the little time we had together. In a different world, things could have worked out between us but your mother was convinced that her parents would never agree to us being together. Since she was under 18 there wasn't anything either of us could do. We developed a plan and just had to survive the next year and we could be together."

"The next year? What was the plan?"

"Your mother needed to finish high school and turn 18; during that time I would be in the Army but we would continue to write back and forth. We didn't have everything figured out; we were young and naïve but we knew we wanted to be together despite what her family thought. The key was waiting until she was 18 and she finished high school. She wanted to leave before then, but I didn't want her to drop out of high school so we agreed to wait. When a friend of mine announced he was getting married in New York I asked your mother to come as my date. She told her parents that it was a friend of hers that was a couple of years older who was getting married and surprisingly with little argument they agreed to let her attend the wedding. Of course I wasn't allowed to pick her up at her house, but instead I picked her up at her friend's house. Your mother had turned 18 the week before the wedding; she had a few months or so left of school and then she would graduate. We didn't have everything figured out, but I had a small apartment above my sister's garage that she was going to stay in until I could come home again. We were going to get married the next time I was stateside. We spent the night together and said goodbye the next morning when I dropped her off with her friend. I wished we could have spent the entire weekend together, but I was only stateside for those two days and I had a flight to catch that afternoon. I never saw or heard from her after that day. I sent letters but never received a response back. I know you obviously don't know me, but I swear to you that your mother never told me she was pregnant. If she had….I wouldn't have let her…."

What Ray just told me was the last thing I expected to hear today; I expected to hear the story my grandmother told of course minus the part about him taking advantage of my mother. I figured my mother had gotten drunk and slept with the first guy she found at the wedding. That was just the type of person she was. I couldn't picture my mother ever truly loving someone. Ray doesn't even seem like he would have been the "bad boy" type that my mother always went for. It's in that moment that I realize how little I knew about my mother's childhood and who she was before the drugs turned her into someone that the man in front of me would never recognize.

"My grandmother said my mother never told you that was pregnant," I assure him. "She said that my mother tried to take me to see you once you one time-"

"WHAT?! I swear to you, I never saw Carla after the day I dropped her off at her friend's house."

"According to my grandmother, when my mother went to see you she saw you walking out of house with a woman carrying a baby who was the same age as I was at that time. She assumed you had…met someone else. Well….according to what my grandmother said, they thought you had cheated on your wife with my mother."

"Carrying a baby….." he closes his eyes for a moment obviously trying to process everything I just said. From the background report Christian had run on him, there was no mention of any other children besides the three he has with his current wife and none are the same age as me however since he wasn't listed on my birth certificate I didn't appear on his background report so just because there wasn't another child listed doesn't mean anything. "I wish she would have said something, that she would have come to see me that day. It wasn't what she thought."

"What was it?"

"My niece, my sister's daughter, is about your age. I kept the apartment above my sister's garage for years; it was perfect when I was home on leave as a place to crash and then I was able to see my niece often. My sister's husband was in the Army as well, so he was often deployed as well. I would help her out whenever I was home because I know how hard it was for her to do everything by herself. If your mother saw me carrying a baby, walking out of a house with a woman, I guarantee you it was my niece and my sister that I was with. I may have been young, but I loved your mother dearly Anastasia-"

"Ana, please call me Ana."

"Ana….I tried finding her and even went to her parent's house but they refused to tell me where she was. Unfortunately I was overseas more than I was stateside back then, so my resources were very limited. After not hearing from her, I just assumed that she finally gave in and agreed to marry the bastard that her parents wanted her to marry."

"You knew about that?"

"It was disgusting what her parents were trying to do to her. They told all of their friends that their 16 year old daughter was dating a 20 year old man who was attending Yale when in reality the two had only met briefly on one occasion when their parents introduced them. Your mother never had any intention of marrying that man, but I thought that perhaps after only seeing me a handful of times over the prior years that perhaps your mother reconsidered her parents' arrangement."

"She never married him."

"Ana, I swear to you I had no idea your mother was pregnant. If I had, things would have been different."

We sit in silence once again, I think all of us trying to process what we just discovered. I'm thankful that Ray didn't slam the door in our faces when we arrived or he didn't kick us out when I told him that Carla was my mother. I still don't know how I feel about the man in front of me; I don't know if I should let myself believe the picture he is painting of Carla which would mean that she was truly in love with this man and likely would have been loyal to him.

"I have located a lab in town that is willing to conduct a discrete DNA test with expedited results for us. We could have the results as early as tomorrow if we go there today," Christian breaks the silence.

"If Carla told her parents I was the father of her baby, I have no doubt in my mind that you Ana are my daughter. Even though our relationship was long distance, neither of us was with anyone else back then. But, I'm sure this is important for you Ana to have answers so we can go to the lab right now and have the test done. If you could stay awhile, I'd love afterwards to learn about you and what your life was like up until now."

 _Author's Note: Many thanks to Juliana Alicia Miller for the idea of Ray and Carla having been in love when Ana was conceived. It hadn't been the direction I was initially going to take with them, but I like how this ended up._


	81. Chapter 81

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 81 APOV:**

"Are you ready to leave Ana?" Christian asks.

We are going back to Ray's house this afternoon to…I guess learn more about each other. Yesterday afternoon we went to the lab that Taylor had found and submitted to the DNA test. The lab is expected to call us in about an hour with the results of the test. Typically results aren't available this quickly, but Christian arranged for the test to be performed immediately.

Part of me is nervous about getting the results; yesterday after learning more about my mother's relationship with Ray I came back to the hotel convinced that it was very likely that Ray was my father. However, as the night wore on I couldn't stop the doubts from entering my mind. The person Ray described was nothing like the mother I grew up with; I couldn't picture my mother being so in love with a guy that she gave up all other men. That's not the woman I knew; I can't recall her ever being with a guy for more than a few months.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I only answer Christian when he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him.

"I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now baby," he whispers as he hugs me tighter. "Whatever the results of the test are, I'll be here for you."

"I know."

It's hard to explain to the man who has had a loving family surrounding him since he was adopted at four years old, how this moment feels. I know Christian's early life was horrible; he experienced things that no child should ever be made to feel. I will forever be grateful to Grace and Carrick for taking in that little boy after he was brought into the emergency room by the police. However, since that day he has been surrounded by an incredibly loving family who would do anything to see their children happy.

I never had that….ever. The person who "rescued" me after my mother died, wasn't anything remotely close to Carrick and Grace. I never knew the real meaning of family until Christian introduced me to his. I had given up the idea of ever having a family of my own a long time ago; I knew my grandmother would never change and as far as I knew there was no one else out there that was I was related to. Everything changed that night in Boston when Estelle revealed my father was still alive and hadn't died in the car accident when I was a newborn.

As we drive to Ray's house in silence, I'm more nervous than I think I have ever been in my entire life. But it's not only nervousness that I feel….I'm scared. I'm scared that I've let myself hope that I may actually have a family member in this world and that the lab is going to call proving my mother lied once again. I'm scared that even if the test proves that Ray is my father, that he isn't going to want anything to do with me after today. Ray has a family of his own already, why would he open himself up to a daughter he never knew. I'm scared his wife and children would hate me if he ever allows me to meet them. I'm scared I won't be good enough for them.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop," Christian says firmly.

"I wasn't-"

"Whatever those test results show, doesn't need to change anything Ana. This doesn't change who you are. You are still the most beautiful, caring, strong, kind woman that I fell in love with."

"What if….he is my father and wants nothing to do with me? What if his family hates me? What if-"

"Ana STOP," Christian puts his hands on the side of my face and pulls me to him. His lips are on mine before I can even think about what he's doing. He takes full control of the kiss; his mouth firm on mine as his tongue presses against my lips demanding entry. He holds me against him, tilting my head so he can deepen the kiss even more. By the time he pulls away from me, I'm completely breathless and I can barely remember my own name let alone what we were talking about a few minutes ago.

"Sir, ma'am," Taylor clears his throat which is when I look out the window and realize that we're sitting in front of Ray's house.

"Everything will be fine Ana," Christian says firmly. "Ray would be an idiot not to want you as part of his family Ana. But, if he is that stupid, it changes nothing. You are….you are my family Ana; you will always be a part of my family. Nothing will ever change that."

"Christian-" I gasp at the finality of his words. I want to ask him what he meant by that; I want to know if perhaps by some chance this thing between us may not have an expiration date on it after all.

"Sir, ma'am, Mr. Steele is waiting at the front door," Taylor interrupts us before I can ask the questions that are now running through my head. I want to tell him to shove it that everything else can wait, but with the reminder of where we are parked my anxiety threatens to surface again.

"Are you ready? We can stay out here as long as you want baby," Christian assures me.

"I'm ready."

Ray had invited us back here yesterday after visiting the lab, but I asked if we could come back today instead. Yesterday was an eventful and draining day which I don't think I was prepared for. Instead of returning to Ray's house, Christian and I went out for dinner before returning to the hotel. Today we will visit with Ray before heading back to Seattle.

"Any word from Gail Taylor?" Christian asks as we exit the car.

"What happened to Gail? Is she alright?" I immediately ask.

"Gail is fine," Taylor assures me. "Her sister was rushed to the hospital during the night with appendicitis. Gail left to help take care of her sister's kids while she is in the hospital and recovering. She'll be away for a few days, maybe a week tops."

"Did you need to go be with her? If you want to leave-"

"No, thank you Mrs. Grey. While I love Gail, her sister's kids….are quite the handful. I'm more useful here than I would be with Gail. I think I would drive her as crazy as her nephews would drive me."

"If you're sure Taylor…."

"I am, thank you for thinking of us though Mrs. Grey."

"What will it take to get you to call me Ana all the time?" I smirk when he shakes his head in response. There are occasions when he will call me Ana but his default seems to be to call me Mrs. Grey.

"You ready?" Christian whispers as we approach the door where Ray is standing.

I nod in response, the fear and anxiety causing my stomach to turn. I take a deep breath, trying to drawn on some inner strength that I'm not sure even exists, to get through the next few hours.

"Ana, Christian…it's nice to see you again," Ray greets Christian with a handshake and me with a light peck on the cheek. "Please come in."

When we enter the living room, immediately I notice an older woman standing in the center of the room ringing her hands almost nervously.

"Christian, Ana…I would like you to meet my wife Cindy," Ray introduces us.

"Ana, it's wonderful to meet you," she hugs me briefly before shaking hands with Christian. "Please sit down, I'll grab some drinks and snacks."

"I hope you don't mind," Ray gestures towards the kitchen where his wife ran off to. "As soon as I told her about you she insisted on meeting you."

"No of course not, it's fine," I assure him despite the added nervousness.

"She wanted to call the kids and invite them over today as well, but I wasn't sure if you would be ready for that just yet."

"Do they know….about me?" I ask.

"They do," he nods. "Cindy and I don't believe in keeping things from each other or from our children now that they're older. Obviously it came as a surprise to them, however they didn't react badly if that is what you're worried about."

That is what I was worried about, but before I can respond my phone rings and Christian hands it to me when he sees that it's the lab calling.

"Hello, this is Anastasia," I answer.

"Anastasia this is Marcie from Diagnostic Labs, I have the results of the test you completed here yesterday."

"Can you hold one moment? I'm going to put you on speaker phone as Raymond Steele is also here," I quickly switch the phone to speaker. "Okay, we're ready."

"The test concluded with 99.999998% certainty that Mr. Raymond Steele is the biological father of one Mrs. Anastasia Grey."

"Thank you," I mumble before handing the phone back to Christian. I'm not sure I even ended the call.

"Ana?" Christian tries to gage my feelings.

"You were expecting the result to be negative," Ray guesses.

"The woman you described yesterday….that wasn't the person I grew up with, so I had my doubts," I admit after a few minutes of silence. "It's not that I didn't believe you; it was just that I couldn't picture the person you portrayed yesterday as the same person who raised me. My mother lied to me about you by telling me that you had died; I was afraid this was just another lie by someone else."

"You mother may have changed, but the woman I knew back then left me with no doubts that if she had told her parents that I was your father that she was telling the truth. I knew what the results of the test would be before today, which is why Cindy and I called the kids last night and told them about you. I had no doubts," Ray explains.

"Would you all like some drinks?" Cindy offers.

"Yes, thank you," Christian answers for the both of us.

"Ana, if you're willing, I would like to learn more about you," Ray requests.

"Of course," I take a deep breath trying to prepare strengthen myself for what I'm about to say. Yesterday before we left the lab Ray mentioned wanting to learn more about me so in a way I had all night to prepare for this moment. No amount of time though makes me feel more comfortable telling this story.

"Mrs. Steele, would you mind showing me Ray's workshop? I would love to see some of the pieces he has created," Christian requests while squeezing my hand tightly.

"Oh…of course," Cindy replies clearly surprised by leads Christian out of the house the way we came in.

Although I would have rather have had Christian by my side, I appreciate what he's doing. He knew it would be hard enough for me to tell this story with Ray, a man I had at least met before but it would be that much harder with his wife sitting next to him.

"Christian and I were married this past summer and we live in Seattle, just a few hours from here actually. I own a bakery called Sweet Dreams that Christian's sister helps me manage. I will be returning to school in January to take a few business classes."

"That's wonderful," Ray says.

"Thank you," I take another deep breath before letting it out slowly. "I'm very happy right now, however that wasn't always the case…."

I give Ray a cliff notes version of my crappy childhood followed by even crappier teenage years when I lived with my grandmother. I watch his face pale at the brief descriptions I provide about the living conditions we lived in and the anger wash over him as I describe the men in and out of our lives when I was younger. By the time I've started telling him about my grandmother, he's on his third glass of whiskey.

"I'm going to kill her," he grumbles as he takes another gulp from his glass.

"You'll have to get behind Christian," I reply. "He nearly killed her when she approached us at an event in Boston which was the first time I had seen her since I left New York almost three years ago."

"She knew who I was; she knew I was alive. She could have contacted me when social services discovered you! I was back in the states by then. I would have….."

"I don't know why she didn't call you; she never mentioned you to me before that night in Boston. Even though my mother gave me your last name-"

"She did?" the surprise in his eyes is evident when he looks up.

"My….my maiden name is Anastasia Rose Steele."

"Rose?"

"Yes, my middle name is Rose."

"That was my grandmother's name," he says in almost a whisper. "Your mother knew how close I was to my grandmother before she passed away. Your mother's letters brought me comfort when she passed and I couldn't make it home for the funeral."

"I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be. I think your mother named you after her," he smiles sadly to himself. "My grandmother would have loved you and your mother."

"It's kind of nice to know where my middle name came from, she never told me," I realize I don't recall ever asking her where my name came from.

"Ana….I cannot apologize enough for how you grew up. If I knew….I swear to you it wouldn't have been like that. I wouldn't have let her raise you in those conditions. If she wouldn't have accepted help, I would have taken her to court to demand they do something. I wouldn't have allowed it…"

"You didn't know," I point out.

"I can see now why you had a tough time picturing the woman I described yesterday. Honestly, I'm having a tough time picturing the woman you describe as the same woman that I fell in love with as a teenager. That just doesn't sound like the woman I knew."

"I don't know what changed in her, but I know my grandparents were horrible to her. They blamed her, and ultimately you, for their financial and business problems-"

"Me? Your mother? How could they blame us for their problems?"

"It seems they assumed this arranged marriage was definitely going to happen, however when my mother announced she was pregnant everything fell apart. Obviously the arranged marriage was off the table since the man didn't want to marry a woman who was pregnant with another man's child."

"Ana…I am so sorry-"

"Please, don't apologize," I interrupt quickly. "You didn't know my mother was pregnant; she chose to keep us both in the dark about each other. You couldn't have done anything if you didn't know."

"I just feel like I should have known or should have done something."

"You couldn't," I shrug not sure to how to make him feel better.

"How did you end up in Washington? You said you moved out here from New York…."

"I was ready for a change," I wasn't going to bring _him_ up to Ray; he doesn't need to know about that part of my life. "I ended a relationship with someone and decided it was time to leave New York completely. I moved to Seattle and started working at the bakery that Christian later bought me as a wedding gift."

"He makes you happy," Ray states rather than questions.

"He does; he makes me happier than I ever knew was possible," I admit.

"I'm glad that after….everything , you were able to find love and happiness Ana," he reaches over and squeezes my hand.

"Thank you," I whisper as my eyes begin to fill with tears at the genuineness of his words.

"I know this has been an overwhelming weekend for all of us, but I'd love for you to meet the rest of my family when you feel comfortable. Perhaps in the next couple of weeks we could find time to get together on a weekend?"

"I'd like that."

Ray's face lights up and he immediately begins telling me about each of his kids; it's hard to wrap my head around the idea of having half siblings out there. He shows me pictures of each of them; while all three have clear resemblances to Cindy I can see parts of Ray in each of them. By the time Christian and Cindy return a little while later, the deep discussions from earlier have been pushed aside as we instead focus on getting to know one another.

"How do you feel?" Christian asks as Taylor drives us back to Seattle.

"Better, relieved….I don't really know," I admit. "Ray would like me to meet his kids."

"And?"

"I think I'd like to meet them," I shrug. "I don't know how they feel about me or even how I feel about them but I'd like to meet them still."

"Whenever you want to come back baby you let me know."

"Thank you….for everything this weekend Christian. I couldn't have done this without you."

"Yes, you could have Ana but I'm glad I was able to do it with you."

I fall asleep on the way back to Seattle, my head resting on Christian's shoulder as he types away on his phone responding to emails. Although I slept great last night in Christian's arms, I think the entire weekend was just exhausting overall. More so emotionally I think than physically.

"Baby? We're home," Christian's voice gently pulls me from my deep sleep.

"Wow….I didn't think I'd sleep the entire way here," I giggle.

"Come, let's get upstairs, grab a quick dinner and you can go back to sleep."

"Sounds good to me."

"What about our bags?" I realize Taylor is standing at the elevator doors waiting for us without our luggage.

"Sawyer is bringing them up through the service entrance."

"Oh ok."

I take Christian's hand as he leads me to the elevator where Taylor is holding the doors open waiting for us.

"Gail expects to be gone for all of this week, sir. She offered to call the agency to have them send someone over for the week."

"Yes, that's probably a good idea. If it were a couple of days, I think we would be able to manage-"

"You don't need to hire someone Christian. I'm home for the most part anyway, I'll cook for us-"

"Ana, that's not necessary."

"I know, but I can cook and I'm home so why not?"

"Are you sure? If it's too much I can bring someone in for the entire week."

"Christian, it's cooking breakfast and dinner; I promise you I can manage it," I giggle at how complicated he is making this.

"If you're sure," he looks at me and I nod reassuring him. "Taylor, I'll have Andrea call the agency in the morning and get someone to come and clean two days this week so that everything in not waiting for Gail when she returns."

"I think-" Taylor is cut off by the ringing of his phone. "Yes…FUCK!"

"What's wrong Taylor?" Christian asks as Taylor listens to whoever is on the other line of his phone.

The elevator doors open to the penthouse before Taylor can respond to Christian. The phone falls from his hand as his eyes search the foyer in search of something or someone.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"


	82. Chapter 82

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note #1: Those of you who follow me on facebook already know what happened with this chapter so feel free to skip ahead. For those who don't follow me on facebook: last week I had about 85% of this chapter written and was looking forward to posting it the following day. On the way home from work that day though I decided to change the direction of this chapter completely which meant I needed to rewrite the entire thing. What Christian sees when the elevator doors open to the penthouse is not what I typed last week…_

 _Author's Note #2: Again, if you follow me on facebook, you can skip this note as you are already aware of the further reason for the delay with this chapter. Several of you have sent me PMs or left reviews asking if I was alright, if I abandoned this story or if there was another reason for the delay in posting. Unfortunately, my mother passed away early last week; in addition to making all the arrangements I spent most of last week and this weekend traveling as my mother lived in another state about 12 hours away. Today is the first day I have felt ready to begin writing again, though I ask you for extra patience as I'm sure there will be many typos in my writing._

 **Chpt. 82 CPOV:**

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I pull Ana behind me on reflex as Taylor steps in front of me to block me much the same way. Taylor's hand immediately falls to the gun that is at the waist band of his pants; the gun that I tried insisting he didn't need but when he argued that he wouldn't accept his position without we compromised and he was able to keep the gun. I've always been anti-gun, anti-violence; my mother has told us far too many stories from her time in the ER about accident shootings. I never pictured even having a gun in my house until the day I offered Taylor a job; I knew he was the man I needed for the job so I had to compromise which is nearly unheard of especially at GEH. After insisting he take several gun safety classes and having purchased a top of the line gun safe, he was permitted to have a gun on him while protecting me. As I stand here right now, taking in the sight before me, I'm reassured that I made the right decision in hiring Taylor.

"ANSWER ME DAMN IT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I scream over Taylor's shoulder. I'm tempted to push him aside, rush into the foyer and forcefully remove her from the foyer. The only thing stopping me right now though is the fact that Ana is behind me. I know Taylor would protect her, but I worry his first instinct would be to protect me thus leaving Ana exposed and at risk. That is a risk I'm not willing to take; so despite my first instinct being to end the scene in front of us, I keep a firm hand on Ana's arm protecting her even as my eyes never leave the foyer of Escala.

"I'm here for you sir," she answers without looking at me.

"What the fuck do you mean you're here for me? You're not _allowed_ to be here!" I remind her.

She doesn't answer me, instead she remains on her knees in the middle of the foyer completely nude. She is in the perfect submissive pose; she's on her knees on the bare floor and her head is bowed with her eyes on the floor. The only part of her that is not correct is her hands. Instead of her hands resting open on her thighs, they are gripping a small revolver which is pointed towards the floor. My breath catches when it finally hits me that she is holding a gun and my mind starts racing at the possible ways this will end. Did she really think she could walk into my apartment and try to kill me? She had to know that Taylor still worked for me; did she really think she could get past him?

"I asked you a question," I hiss in frustration and anger. Once again I receive no response to my question.

"Sir," it's only when I hear his voice does my attention go to Sawyer who is standing across from us at the other end of the foyer with his gun drawn and ready. He mouths to Taylor and I "police on way;" I'm not sure how he did it but I'm grateful that he was able to notify the police as it at least means help will eventually arrive. Now, I just need to keep her from killing anyone in the meantime. I nod at Sawyer in acknowledgement and try to calm the ever rising anger threatening to boil over inside of me. I need to separate myself from the situation, to turn my emotions off like I do when I'm negotiating for a company that I really want or need to further GEH's mission.

"What is it you want?" I try a different question in hopes of at least gaining some insight as to what is going through her fucked up mind right now. I fucking want to know what hell she thought she would accomplish by showing up to my apartment with a fucking gun!

"I need you and you need me sir-" again she answers without making eye contact with me.

"You _need_ me? What the fuck could you possibly need me for? _I_ don't _need_ you; I don't even fucking _want_ you – I never fucking wanted to see you again! Why the fuck would you think I needed you? I have everything I could ever possibly need or want in my life and none of it involves you," I gently squeeze Ana's arm in ad desperate attempt to convey to her that somehow everything is going to be okay. "What is it you think that I could possibly need or want from you?"

"I can give you what you need," almost in slow motion I watch her head raise as her eyes glare at Ana behind me. My eyes stay focused on the gun in her hands, which at this point is thankfully still pointed at the ground but I know at any moment that all could change. " _She_ will never be enough for you; she can't give you what you need. She-"

"Enough! You know nothing about Ana or my relationship with her and you certainly known nothing about what I need!"

"She will never give you what you need! She won't go to The Blue Moon with you, she won't let you spank her until her ass is a beautiful shade of red, she won't let you tie her to the bed so you can fuck her however you want, she won't let you whip her with a belt until it is coated in blood, she won't let you cane her-"

"Shut the fuck up! I've _never_ hit a woman until blood was drawn; how dare you imply otherwise!" I cringe knowing that Ana is hearing the lies spewing from her mouth.

"But I would _let_ you do that to me because that's what you need! You need a woman that you can take out your anger on, who you can fuck the frustration away with! She will never be that person! She doesn't even enjoy fucking! Did you know she fakes it? She can't even-"

"You know nothing about me!" Ana yells from behind me.

"I know more about you than you think. He told me all about you-" she cuts herself off before she can finish her sentence.

"Who the fuck are you talking about?" I ask.

No answer. Complete silence.

 _Where the fuck are the police?_

"What Christian needs isn't about sex," Ana says calmly as she moves so she is standing next to me instead of behind me. I try to pull her back behind me but she doesn't budge, instead she plants herself next to me so her beautiful body is pressed against mine. Her hand slowly moves up chest before resting over my heart where she simply leaves it for a few seconds. The gasp echoes through the room when her eyes rise taking in exactly where Ana's hand is. She searches my face for a reaction, I assume waiting for me to push Ana away. "He needs someone to love him, someone to trust him and whom he can trust in return and someone who doesn't look at him and see dollar signs."

I close my eyes for a split second, slightly thanking Ana for her kind words.

"I never-"

"Shut the fuck up! From the moment you met me the only thing you saw was my checking account balance. I don't need you, I don't want you and I will never want you. Ana is everything I will ever need and there is nothing you can do to change that."

"She can't be what you need! The press will tear her apart! What do you think they're going to do when they discover that her mother was a drug addict who couldn't hold down a job? That her own grandmother didn't want her? It's only a matter of time before the press digs into who she really is! Right now they're so obsessed with the fact that you're married to someone but eventually it will wear off and they will start to look at who she really is. She can't be what you need! You need me, Christian!"

"I don't give a fuck what the press thinks or says about Ana! What she went through made her the woman I fell in love with. Who the fuck cares what the fucking press thinks?!"

"Christian, you don't mean that! You can't meant that!" she cries out.

"My life has nothing to do with you any longer! You lost that right when you embezzled money from me and attempted to publish details about GEH that never should have been made public."

"It was the only way!"

"The only way for what? Why did you steal from me? You had money, plenty of it; you certainly didn't need mine!"

"I didn't have any money! Not really anyway…"

"What do you mean you didn't have any money? Your parents are fucking wealthy!"

"They are, not me! I have a trust fund, but I couldn't access it until I turned 30."

"But you worked for your father; you must have been receiving a paycheck-"

"It barely cover my bills! Daddy bought me a condo as a graduation present, but he wouldn't pay any of the bills. I blew through my savings account buying everything I needed to be the woman you needed by your side. That didn't come cheaply! The dresses, jewelry, spa treatments, hair cuts….it added up!"

"So the answer was to embezzle money from my company? You could have asked me for anything! I would have bought you the dresses, jewelry…whatever the fuck you wanted!"

"You're right, I should have," she looks at the gun as she passes it back and forth in her hands.

Out of the corner of my eye I see several armed police officers silently make their way into the foyer, positioning themselves next to Sawyer. Although their presence should relax me, it doesn't. I don't think she realizes they are here, but worse is knowing that even if she knew they were here that she wouldn't care. She's all over the place, yelling at Ana one minute and then blaming her father for her behavior.

"But it doesn't matter now," she says after several minutes of silence.

"What doesn't matter?" I ask.

"He cut me off," she answers simply.

"Your father cut you off?"

"He took my trust fund away after the hearing. He bought me a condo but then said he was done with me. All because of you! The story I was writing about you was supposed to make him realize that I was a real journalist; it was supposed to make him realize that he could leave me the company when he retired. Instead you ruined that! You made him hate me! You-"

"Christian didn't do anything," Ana says calmly. I grip her hand trying to tell her to stop talking. I want so badly to look at her, but I don't want to take my eyes off the gun in front of me. "You made the choice to steal from him and try to expose his company-"

"Shut the fuck up bitch!" she screams, yet Ana remains firm by my side, not even flinching.

"Put down the gun," a police officer says. "You need to put down the gun and come with us."

"No!" she screams. "Please Christian…I can be what you need; you deserve so much more than _she_ can give you. The press loved you when we were together; I can make them leave you alone. They will love you again; I can do that for you. You can't; once they find out who she really is they don't love her. Please sir….please sir…..I need you. Let me do this for you; I _need_ to do this for you."

Her head is bowed, eyes back on the floor mumbling please over and over again. I slowly process the scene in front of me; several officers are standing around my foyer with their guns pointed at the woman on my floor. At some point Sawyer has made his way over to us and is now standing next to Ana, his gun still drawn. At some point Taylor also pulled out his gun, however when that occurred exactly I'm not sure. I need to do something; I need for today not to end in bloodshed. As much as I've hated her for what she did to me, I've never wished for her death.

"You're right," I slowly let out the breath I was holding. Hoping that I'm making the right decision and that at some point Ana can forgive me, I take Ana's hand from my chest and slowly place it back by her side. I take a small step forward, putting some space between Ana and I. Out of the corner of my eye I notice Sawyer step closer to me, essentially placing himself in front of Ana. "I do need you."

"You do?" she hiccups and slowly raises her head until her tear filled eyes find mine. I force myself to shut everything else out, to pretend that Ana is not standing behind me watching everything unfolding.

"Everything you said was true…I need someone who can get the press off my ass so I can focus on GEH."

"Yes! I can do that, please sir, please let me do that for you," I watch as the false hope hits her eyes. She thinks she has won; she really thinks in her twisted mind that this fucked up plan is working. She believes that I would throw everything I have with Ana away, to get the press off my case again. She doesn't realize what Ana means to me; how much Ana truly means to me and that I could care less what the fuck the press thinks about her past when and if they ever discover it. "I'll be whatever you need; I'll go to the Blue Moon with you, I'll be by your side for the public events and I will be waiting for you every night when you come home from work. I'll do whatever you want; anything Christian, anything. Please just give me another chance…."

"If I'm going to give you another chance, I need you to do something for me first."

"Of course, anything sir. I'll do anything for you."

"Put down the gun," I say firmly. "You know how I feel about guns; I can't look at you when you're holding a gun. I never wanted a gun in my house and now there are far too many."

"But…."

"Put down the gun," I say firmly. "Guns are hard limit of mine and you know that."

"Yes sir," her response is automatic but I can tell she is struggling to follow through the directive. Finally she leans forward and places the gun on the tile floor.

The moment the she moves away from the gun, everything changes at once. The police have her face first on the ground and are putting hand cuffs on her within seconds. When I feel Ana's hands wrap around my waist, hugging me from behind, I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Ana," my voice more of a whisper than anything else, but somehow she must have heard me. Without saying a word, she eases past Sawyer so she is standing in front of me. I wrap my arms around her instantly, pulling her close to me beyond thankful that she wasn't hurt when we entered the apartment. Things could have turned out so differently; Ana could have been hurt….again….because of me.

"Mr. Grey, I'm assuming you want to press charges against Ms. Kavanaugh?" the officer asks.

"Yes, to the fullest extent possible, " I answer without hesitation. "She is in direct violation of a restraining order, she threatened my wife, myself and my security team and she broke into my home. I want any and all charges pressed against her."

"Christian! You can't do this! Please don't send me back there! I can't go back to prison; I can't! Please…please….I'll do anything! I can't….I can't…."

"Christian isn't doing this to you; you are doing it to yourself," Ana says firmly.

"Officer," I nod in his direction.

"Let's go ma'am," we away from the elevator so they can escort her out of the apartment.

"Taylor, Ana and I need a place to go tonight; we're not staying here until we determine how it was that she was able to get into the apartment."

"Yes sir, I will book a suite now," he quickly pulls out his phone.

"I'll put together a bag," Sawyer quickly adds before heading to our bedroom.

It surprises me when Ana doesn't object, as she usually refuses to let someone pack a bag for her, but given everything that just happened I think her mind is elsewhere. She remains in my arms where she has been since the moment the threat was over; if I wasn't worried about the security risk I would stay right where we are all night.

When Taylor nods in my direction, the four of us silently head down the waiting SUV which we were in not that long ago under much different circumstances. Even though it's probably been less than an hours since I sat here holding Ana while she slept, it feels like another lifetime. I'm still in complete disbelief at what we found when we the elevator doors opened. I want to demand answers from Taylor about how the hell _she_ got into the building let alone into my apartment, but I know it will take Taylor a little while to get those answers. And right now, my priority needs to be on the beautiful woman who is silently sitting next to me. I wish I knew what she was thinking right now. If I thought she would discuss it, I would ask but I know she would rather wait until Taylor and Sawyer weren't around.

"She knows him," Ana says.

"She knows who?" I ask confused.

"She knows Jack."


	83. Chapter 83

_Author's Note: First, thank you for all your kind words and PMs regarding the loss of my mother. I cannot tell me how much that meant to me!_

 _Second: Several of you asked how to find me on facebook. Madison Fanfictionauthor._

 _Third: A few readers seem to have forgotten Kate's role in my story as a few reviews mentioned introducing Kate or if Ana knew about Kate and Christian's BDSM past. If you want a refresher on Kate's role in my story I recommend rereading chapters 25 (how he met Kate) and 61 (Kate/Christian BDSM past)._

 **Chpt. 83 APOV:**

"She knows Jack," I whisper…not even wanting to hear myself say his name again. "She's working with him…they're working together…."

"Taylor," Christian says.

"I'll get Welch on it as soon as you're secure in your room," he confirms.

"We still have him under surveillance correct?"

"You have someone watching Jack?" I ask.

"Yes," Christian confirms. "We have had someone watching him –"

"From a distance," Taylor interrupts.

"Yes, from a distance someone has been watching that piece of shit since the moment we learned who he was. I never trusted the bastard and feared one day he could be a risk especially the more often you were seen in public with me," Christian explains.

"Does he know?"

"He is not aware that he is under surveillance; at least he doesn't appear to know."

"But you didn't have _her_ under surveillance?"

"For the first year we did," he sighs heavily with regret. "Her father bought her a condo in a very upscale neighborhood and set her up to take some classes at a local community college in a new field. As part of our agreement, Katherine isn't permitted to work in any position in journalism, advertising or any other form of media. She was seeing a psychiatrist and was taking medication for a mood disorder; the reports sent to Flynn indicated that she was showing remorse for what she had done and that her psychiatrist felt she was stable. We removed the surveillance on her at that point-"

"To a certain degree," Taylor adds.

"Taylor had her name set on alerts so we would know if she purchased a plain or train ticket out of the state. This allowed us to ensure she wasn't coming back to Seattle while not keeping day to day tabs on her which everyone indicated wasn't necessary at that point," I can hear the anger in Christian's voice as I'm sure he regrets removing that person now. But if nothing happened after a year of watching her and if everyone thought she was stable I could see why Taylor and Christian would make that decision.

"How did she get to Seattle?" I more wonder aloud than ask.

"I'm working on that now," Taylor confirms. "According to Welch she didn't purchase a plain or train ticket."

"Find out from Welch where fucking Hyde is," Christian hisses.

We ride in silence the rest of the way to the hotel; there really isn't much to say. I can't stop replaying the words Katherine said; there is no doubt in my mind she is somehow working with _him_. What I can't figure out is how they would have met…

"We're here," Christian squeezes my hand and I glance up realizing we're sitting in a parked car in an underground parking garage.

Sawyer checked us into the hotel and returned to the car with keys a large suite. Given what has happened, the four of us will be sharing a suite with Sawyer and Taylor taking turns keeping watch all night. Not only do we not know how Katherine ended up in the apartment but until we know for certain that _he_ is still in New York I don't think anyone will feel safe.

Once Taylor ensures the room is safe, Christian and I enter the large suite which contains two bedrooms with a shared living area. Sawyer puts our small overnight bag in the master bedroom before joining us in the living room. Taylor is on the phone the entire time; Christian is pacing the floor while typing away on his phone. Sawyer and I sit in opposite chairs facing each other sort of waiting to see what happens.

"How is that possible?!" Taylor screams before slamming his phone on the counter. I cringe as I hear glass shatter knowing that he likely just broke the screen of his phone.

"What do we know?" Christian asks.

"He's gone."

"Hyde?"

"Yes."

"How? What do you mean he is gone? I thought we had someone on him?"

"We had someone on him from a distance; you didn't want him to know that he was being followed so we had to keep our distance. Our guy last saw him two days ago-"

"WHAT?" Christian stops and stares at Taylor.

"He left work in the middle of the day telling his boss that he was sick," Taylor explains. "Our guy followed him to his condo, watched him enter the building and reports he never left."

"Did someone check the condo?" I ask.

"It's empty; we don't know how or when he left but the apartment is empty. His car was still in it's parking spot so someone must have picked him up."

"Why didn't that fucker check him out when he didn't leave his apartment? Why did he wait until today to search the apartment? What fucking excuse could he possibly have?"

"According to our source this is somewhat typical behavior for Hyde. He would often lock himself in his apartment for three to four days at a time without leaving-"

"He's right," I cringe at the memories of those days. "When he was having a bad week he would sometimes leave the office early, go to a bar, get wasted and then come home and drink for two or three days straight not stopping until he passed out at least a few times a day."

It didn't happen often, but every couple of months that would be his pattern. The alcohol made his temper worse; during that time there was nothing I could right by him. He would flip out and hit me for no reason. The only good thing about those days was when he would pass out; the beatings would stop for a few hours and it gave me a little reprieve.

When Christian squeezes my hand I realize that everyone is kind of watching me and Christian is now sitting next to me on the couch. What Taylor and Sawyer know of my past I don't know, but they must know enough because I can tell by the look in their eyes right now that they likely know where I just went.

"I think the only reason he didn't lose his job was because of who his father was; not many bosses would put up with someone leaving early _sick_ on Fridays and then still being sick the following Monday as often as he was," I say.

"You're probably right," Christian agrees.

"So we don't know where he is right now?" I ask Taylor.

"We have people looking for him but at the moment no we don't know where he is," Taylor confirms. "He withdrew a large sum of cash earlier in the week from his bank account but again this didn't raise any concerns-"

"Because it wasn't out of the ordinary either," I finish Taylor's sentence. "He needed the cash to pay for his drinks and lap dances."

"That's what our guy said as well."

"My family has security on them still correct?" Christian asks.

"Yes, security has been in place since the incident with Charlie Tango. Everyone has a CPO assigned to them; our staff is aware of the increased threat."

"I think I'm going to go to bed," I can barely keep my eyes open let alone follow what anyone is saying. Although it seems like ages ago, it was only a matter of hours ago when Christian and I sat at my father's house as we got to know one another better. I'm not sure what time it is now, but I know it's either very late or very early in the morning depending on how you look at it.

"Good idea-" Christian says.

"You don't need to-"

"It's late, I don't think us sitting out here any longer tonight will get any answers. Let's get some sleep and reconvene when we're all a little more awake."

"Yes sir, I'll keep watch for the next couple of hours and then Sawyer will take over," Taylor confirms.

"First thing in the morning I want an update on where that fucker is," Christian hisses.

"Understood sir."

Christian wraps his arm around my waist and walks me to the master bedroom, not leaving my side until he ensures the room is empty. Wordlessly he strips me out of my clothes before removing his own clothes. We climb into bed and Christian immediately pulls me close to him so my back rests against his warm chest.

"I am so sorry," he whispers his mouth so close to my ear I can feel his breath on it.

"What are you sorry for?" I try to turn around but he holds me tight against him preventing me from doing so.

"For what I said at Escala," his voice is guilt ridden.

I try to figure out what he is referring to, but for the life of me I can't recall him saying anything that he should apologize for.

"What you said at Escala?"

"To…. _her_ ," his arms tighten around me as I'm sure he's recalling the scene when we walked into Escala. "When I told _her_ that she was right about what she said about you-"

When it dawns on me what he's referring to, I force myself to turn over and face Christian. The guilt is written all over his face; guilt which he should be feeling.

"Christian, I knew then and I know now that when you said she was right that you weren't agreeing with her," his eyes meet mine questioningly as if he isn't sure he believes me. "When you stepped away from me and started talking to her I may have initially thought you were crazy for placing yourself closer to her when she had a gun, but I never for a moment thought that you were agreeing with what she was saying. I knew you were doing it because you didn't want things to end with her being shot or killed."

His lips find mine as he pulls me even closer to him; his arms wrap around me keeping me close to him. He groans when I place my leg over his thigh, opening myself up to him. His erection probes my sex, sliding through my folds as he teases my opening.

"I love you Ana," Christian whispers as he slowly pushes into me; we both moan when he's fully sated in me.

"I love you Christian, so much," the tears are in my eyes at the realization of my words. Tonight scared me; everything almost ended. Despite everything that has happened to me, I don't think I've ever been that scared in my entire life.

"I was so scared she was going to hurt you; I couldn't have lived with myself if she had," he whispers and for the first time I realize how much tonight affected him. In the car and when we were talking to Taylor and Sawyer in the living area here, he seemed more angry than anything. I know it's a rare occurrence for Christian to let his guard down, to let someone in….to trust someone.

"I've never been so scared," I admit. "I was so scared that I was going to lose you."

"Never, Ana," he kisses me and holds me tightly against him. "You'll never lose me."

Our love making is different; it's slow with sometimes neither of us moving instead just taking the time to be with each other. Neither of us are in a hurry, rather than chasing the orgasms which is so often the case with us we both wait for it. Our hands move slowly over one another's body; neither of us say anything instead showing each other how we feel with our bodies rather than with words. We find our release together long after we went to bed; finding that release together feels almost cathartic.

Christian falls asleep almost immediately; I take advantage of this rare occurrence and watch him sleep for a while like he does with me sometimes. His arm remains wrapped firmly around my waist, holding me tightly against him keeping our connection intact. I feel him soften inside of me which is a different feeling, but he doesn't seem to go completely soft inside of me. It's very rare for Christian to be as vulnerable as he is tonight; I know it couldn't have been easy for him. Opening the door to Escala and finding a naked woman waiting for us was definitely the last thing that I can safely say was the last thing either of expected to find. As if that wasn't scary enough, she had a gun with her which according to the police was fully loaded. I shiver at the memory of walking into Escala earlier; immediately Christian's arms tighten around me keeping me close to him – reminding me that I'm safe now.

I wake up and find myself lying on top of Christian; my head resting on his chest with his arms still wrapped tightly around my waist. I gasp when I feel Christian's erection twitch, realizing that he is still inside of me. Somehow even in our sleep last night, we weren't ready to let each other go; our most intimate connection remaining intact as if subconsciously we both needed that connection. I can tell by his breathing that Christian is still asleep, deciding I should probably move so he is more comfortable I lift myself off of Christian's chest. Christian moans softly as his arms tighten around my waist, securing me to him and preventing me from moving much further.

"Ana…." He whispers my name as he pushes himself into me a little further. I glance up at Christian to find his eyes closed, his breathing is still slow and steady.

"Christian?" When he shows no sign of hearing me, I smile a little knowing that even in his sleep he's thinking of me.

I give up trying to move off of Christian assuming if he wasn't comfortable he would move to make himself more at ease even in his sleep. I lay my head on his chest near his shoulder, running my hand through the soft hair on his chest. The scars he bears from his childhood are faint here, but they can definitely be seen. I lean over and place a light kiss on one; I don't know what Christian will ever see his scars as proof of how strong he is to have survived the hell he went through as a young boy.

"Ah!" I gasp when Christian's hands suddenly move from around my back to the sides of my hips; he pushes me down just as he thrusts into me. Having just woken up, I can say my body was definitely not aroused and ready for Christian so this sudden move is slightly uncomfortable. I should be surprised that Christian is somehow sleeping through this, but having slept through something similar I think I understand how it's possible. When Christian and I slept in what used to be my old bedroom, I had my first erotic dream and woke up mid orgasm to discover Christian was the cause of my orgasm both in person and in my dream. My body is instantly warm remembering how arousing that morning was and it heats up even more knowing that Christian is dreaming about me right now.

"Ana…fuck," Christian groans before raising his legs to plant his feet on the bed which push my thighs further apart as his hands grip my hips tighter. I grip Christian's shoulders and push back against him slightly; I'm immediately met with a thrust from Christian. With his hard grip on my hips I don't have much room to move, but I manage to rock back and forth against him. My hardened nipples brush against his bare chest with every movement we make arousing me even further. I'm so close to the edge, but need something more to push me over. When I don't think I can take any more I bring Christian's lips to mine and kiss him hard.

I don't need to open my eyes to know he's awake; he's thrusting hard and fast into me quickly pushing me over that edge I was teetering on for far too long. I call out his name before collapsing onto his chest once again.

"Well that's one hell of a way to wake up," Christian says just before flipping me over so he is above me. "I thought I was having the hottest dream ever; I was certain I was having a wet dream even though I haven't had one since I was a kid."

"Not….a….dream," I manage to say between thrusts. "Woke…up….with you still inside…."

I groan when he pushes deep into, staying there as he grinds himself against my already overly sensitive clit.

"Yet another first," he mumbles before pulling out and plunging back into me.

Christian lowers himself so there's hardly any space between us, his thrusts slow but deep as he sucks, licks and nibbles on my neck. I scream when he slips his hand between us, his fingers easily finding my clit and he applies just the right amount of pressure to get me back to that edge. My body is like putty in his hands, I'm practically molded to him when he moves the one arm supporting his weight to under my back. My legs are wrapped around his hips as I meet him thrust for thrust; his breath is heavy and erratic at my neck.

"Come with me baby….please," he begs just before increasing the pressure on my clit giving me exactly what I didn't know I needed to push me over the edge.

"Christian!" I call out his name as the intensity of the orgasm hits me; he manages to prolong it by continuing to tease my clit. Only seconds later he whispers my name several times before pushing deeper into me and tensing. His warmth spreads through me as he continues to thrust into me, riding out his orgasm. Christian rolls us over once again, this time so we are lying face to face with his arm under my head.

"Oh my God! Do you think Taylor and Sawyer heard us?" I'm so used to it just being Christian and I at Escala or in a hotel that I completely forgot that Taylor and Sawyer were in the suite with us.

"Probably," Christian chuckles before kissing me. "Don't worry about it."

"How can you say that? I'll never be able to look them in the eye!"

"I assure you, _if_ they heard you they won't say anything to you about it," he insists. "And they definitely won't look at you any differently."

"But-"

"They get paid more than enough to not even think about what they may or may not have heard, trust me."

"But I still need to go out there!"

"Why don't you go take a shower and get dressed while I see if we know anything new this morning? Come out whenever you're done."

We share a final kiss before Christian slips out of bed; like the perfect gentleman he is he puts his hand out to help me out of bed. He walks me into the bathroom and starts the shower for me before going into the small room that holds the toilet. I let the warm water cascade over me and try to forget the fact that despite what Christian says I'm sure Taylor and Sawyer did just hear me.

 _Author's Note: I'd like to apologize for my lengthy absence and at the same time thank all of you who reached out to me either through posts or PMs. For the few negative posts I received, I'm going to choose to ignore you rather than address your comments._

 _Grief is a funny thing; just when you think you're moving past what happened it can come back to bite you. As I mentioned before my mother passed away about 2.5 months ago. We didn't have a good relationship; it wasn't horrible and we weren't estranged but it definitely wasn't a strong one. My children hadn't seen her in more than 3 years and probably spoke to her on the phone maybe 2-3 times a year. While the limited contact was actually for the better because she was a very negative person, I dealt with a lot of feelings surrounding this after her death. Although I wish my children had a stronger relationship with her, I've had to accept that it was for the better that they didn't._

 _Aside from dealing with those mixed feelings, my 10 year old son was hospitalized for a week just last month after contracting an infection. I'm incredibly thankful it was not life threatening and just required IV antibiotics, it was a lot to deal with. Essentially I worked an entire week from a hospital bed (they let me share the room with him) while my husband handled things at home with the other two boys. It was stressful on all of us._

 _Then, we took our much needed preplanned vacation to Disney. We drove (with kids it took about 2.5 days) and spent a week in sunny Florida which was an incredible change to the cooler fall weather we are dealing with where I live. Of course returning to reality after a vacation is always a challenge. Between catching up on school work, house work and of course my office work we've barley had a chance to breath._

 _BUT…I'm back now! I'm committing to updating at least three times per month. I'd love to say once a week, but I'm not going to commit to something that I can't always follow through on. The last thing I want to do is to disappoint you all again._

 _If you've made it this far, again I just want to thank you for your outreach both on here and on facebook. Your words and thoughts have meant a lot to me._


	84. Chapter 84

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 84 CPOV:**

"Everything ready Taylor?" As hard as it was to leave Ana alone in the shower in our bathroom, I needed to get an update from Taylor on where we are with what happened last night at Escala.

"Yes sir. We can leave whenever you're ready."

"And what I requested?"

"Will be there by the time we arrive, sir."

"Perfect."

Last night, after making love to Ana I immediately fell asleep with her still wrapped in my arms. However, sleeping didn't last very long.

 _"What the fuck are you doing here?"_

 _Ana and I stepped off the elevator and into the foyer to find Katherine naked kneeling on my tile floor. In her hand is a small black pistol, right now it's aimed at the floor however I don't pretend for a minute that it's going to stay aimed at the floor. I frantically search behind her, looking for Taylor and Sawyer who are nowhere to be found._

 _"I asked you a question. What the fuck are you doing in my home?!"_

 _"I'm here because you need me, sir."_

 _"I need you? What the fuck do I need from you?"_

 _"She isn't what you need; she can't be what you need," as she speaks she glares at Ana._

 _"Ana has nothing to do with this-"_

 _"She has everything to do with it!" Katherine screams, moving her hands around as she speaks; the gun pointing in various directions._

 _"What is it you want Katherine?" I try a different approach as I inch closer to Ana, slowly trying to put myself in front of her._

 _"YOU! I told you, she can't be what you need. I can! I can be everything you need! I'll let you do whatever you want to me! You want TPE, fine. You want no limits, fine. I'll never safe word; you can do what you need to do. I'll let you do whatever she won't let you do to her."_

 _"You don't know what he needs!" Ana steps to my side. "He doesn't need someone to fuck he needs-"_

 _BANG_

 _Flashback to after the nightmare…_

I woke up from a horrific nightmare, the final image was Ana's shirt slowly turning from white to red as her eyes searched out mine before finally closing. I don't think I've ever been so grateful to wake up and see Ana's sleeping face next to mine than I was in that moment. I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close to me and held her. Feeling her warm, bare skin against mine finally allowed me to start to relax. It was as if just feeling her against me somehow calmed me, relaxed me and reassured me that the image still burned in my brain was only that…just an image.

What I realized in that moment, was that last night was single handedly the worst, most terrifying thing that I've ever experienced. The realization of this took my breath away. In the blink of an eye my worst nightmare went from being flashbacks of what that bastard did to me when I was young to the possibility of losing the woman I love more than anything. I knew in that moment that something needed to change, that things couldn't continue as they have been. Thankfully I had left my phone on the nightstand next to the bed when Ana and I went to bed last night. With as little movement as possible, I grabbed my phone and started sending off several emails to begin facilitating the steps necessary to move forward. Things needed to change immediately and I wasn't wasting another minute; I didn't care that it was barely four in the morning, I paid my staff enough to be available when I needed them. It wasn't often that I would bother them in the middle of the night, but they knew if I did it was important.

When I felt Ana's body tense against mine, I quickly sent the last email and put the phone away. Ana's fists balled against my skin as she began moaning quietly in her sleep. Although Ana's had her share of nightmares, I had no doubt that this one was likely from what happened earlier tonight. I held her tighter, whispering in her ear that everything was okay but her body remained tensed. Not sure what else to do, I held onto her and rolled onto my back so she was now lying on top of me. Her bare legs pressed against my thighs, her head rested on my chest and I rubbed slow circles on her back until I felt her body begin to finally relax.

I slowly let out the breath I was holding, glad that at least for the moment Ana was content and able to sleep. Yet at the same time I feel my own body begin to tense back up; the realization that Ana's nightmare this time was caused by me made it impossible to sleep yet again. Another series of emails is fired off but even that doesn't make me feel any better. Suddenly Ana moved her hand until it rested relaxed above my heart, right over the cluster of scars that remind me every day what that bastard did to me. Instead of immediately going back to that shithole of an apartment, my mind goes to the beautiful woman lying completely bare on top of me right now. I have no idea how she will react tomorrow, but I can't keep things the way they are. After tonight, things need to change. I have no idea how Ana will feel about it, but tonight proved to me that things can't continue as they have been.

Ana lets out a soft sigh and adjusts her hips which leads to my slowly hardening erection rubbing against her clit. I can feel the heat coming from her and all I can think about is how different things could have ended last night. My whole world could have changed last night; just the memory of seeing _her_ in Escala sends chills through my body. When I walked out of the court room more than two years ago, I never thought I would see her again. I had hoped that chapter in my life was behind me and that I would be able to move on. The last thing I expected was for her to show up, with a gun, demanding she take Ana's place in my life. To think that _she_ could have killed Ana last night; I truly think _she_ was that unstable last night that nothing would have stopped her.

I wrap my arms tighter around Ana, needing to somehow feel even closer to her. She's laying on top of me, her legs wrapped around mine, her hand lying on my chest yet it feels like we're not close enough. How is that possible? Part of me is tempted to wake Ana up knowing that the only way I could be closer to her right now would be to make love to her again. Any other night, I probably wouldn't think twice about it. But with everything she has been through, I know she needs her sleep. I softly groan when again she moves, my dick now sliding through her folds. Wetness coats my head as I slowly rub myself against her. The thought of the evidence of our earlier love making still inside of Ana is strangely arousing. Ana lets out a content sigh, her breath warm on my bare chest as I hold her against me. God, I don't know what I would have done if _she_ had actually used the gun; if the police hadn't arrived in time and if I wasn't able to convince _her_ to put the gun down. I tighten my arms around Ana; her warm, bare skin on my serving as a constant reminder that my nightmare wasn't a reality.

I fall asleep only a few minutes later, any thoughts of Escala and what happened earlier completely gone. The nightmare that originally woke up more than an hour ago is nothing but a distant memory. What finally lets me sleep, is having Ana right here in my arms. Even with everything that needs to happen for the changes to occur you would expect my mind to be racing…but it's anything but.

 _Present time_

"Is everything ready?" I ask as I walk out to the living area of our suite where Taylor is waiting for us.

"Yes, sir. Everything is exactly how you requested," he confirms.

"ETA?"

"Once we take off about two hours sir. The jet will be ready within the hour."

"And we're confident the jet hasn't been compromised?"

"After the incident with Charlie Tango we upgraded all security measures including those with the GEH jet. I have personally reviewed the surveillance video for the three weeks and no one unauthorized has even so much as entered the private hangar. Welch ran another background check on our flight staff this morning including full financial review and nothing indicated they were being paid off to sabotage the flight."

"Perfect."

"We have security already on the ground waiting for us, but all reports at this time indicate no one has been there since the last visit."

"And everything else?"

"In process and will be ready when we land."

"Perfect."

"Welch was able to clean up some of the video from the garage at Escala-"

"And?"

"She wasn't alone last night-"

"Who was with her?!"

"We don't know yet. Whoever it was avoided facing any of the cameras; all we have are a couple shots of his back."

"Can I see them?" Ana's soft voice startles us all as she enters the living area. I immediately walk over to her, kissing her before escorting her back to the couch where I was speaking with Taylor.

"You can't see anything. The person wore a hoodie and sunglasses; he never faced a camera," Taylor brings up a picture on his phone and holds it out so both Ana and I can see it. The picture is grainy and in black and white which makes it even more difficult to make out the person.

"You say he was with….her last night?" I ask as I hand Ana the phone. The person was clear to avoid the cameras; hell it could be Elliot for all I know based on that picture. You can't make out a damn thing from it. Unfortunately Escala wouldn't allow us to install additional cameras in the parking garage when I moved in, citing their residents' right to privacy or something like that. We have cameras installed in the penthouse but have to rely on Escala's cameras for the other areas.

"From the timing of everything, we've pieced together a few things. It appears that Ms. Kavanaugh followed a cargo van into the parking garage last night. The person driving the van again keeps his head from the camera as he swipes a card-"

"How did he get access to the parking garage?"

"We're still working on that. It appears one of the condos was having substantial renovating work completed and had numerous contractors be given parking passes. Welch is running contract names through his system now to see if anything pops up."

"So she followed the van into the garage?"

"Yes, in some of the pictures we see her following him over to the service entrance. He opens the door but doesn't appear to follow her into the stairwell. The van leaves a few minutes after Ms. Kavanaugh entered the stairwell."

"It's him," Ana's voice is confident despite the phone that is shaking in her hand.

"Ana, we don't know that-" there's no way she can tell if it's her ex by these pictures.

"It's him," she repeats.

"Ms. Steele-" Taylor voices the doubt that I'm feeling right now as well.

"Look," she zooms in on a picture, adjusting the picture so it focuses on a bare spot of the man's wrist. "He has a tattoo. I would bet anything that if get Welch to clean this up you'll find the tattoo is the handle of dagger. It'll be black with dark red rope that will wrap around the handle before leading up to the blade which will be silver. There will be a single red drop near the tip of the blade. You won't be able to see all that detail from the picture, but you'll be able to see the handle of the dagger."

"Taylor."

"I'll get Welch to clean it up and focus on the wrist area of the picture."

"Ana-"

"I'm fine," she says her voice much stronger than it was a few minutes ago. "I always hated that tattoo. He said he got it when he was drunk one night just after he turned 18 to piss his father off. I had hoped to never have to see that tattoo again."

"You won't have to; he won't hurt you Ana I swear. He'll never come near you again," I try to assure her.

"We'll see," she sighs. "He got close last night."

"We've increased security measures-" I try to explain even though I know she's right.

"We're on top of everything Ana," Taylor interrupts. "We're improving systems to ensure this does not happen again. We will not let Hyde get close to you again."

She doesn't say anything but nods in agreement even though I'm not sure she completely believes Taylor. Deep down I knew it was him; I knew he was the mastermind behind getting _her_ into Escala.

"I recommend speaking to your father sir, although I don't think it will deter him having a PFA issued would ban him from entering Escala again."

"It won't stop him," Ana sighs heavily. "I spoke to the police when I first left; a PFA is only a piece of paper. If he's come all this way, a piece of paper isn't going to stop him."

"Agreed, it won't. But if we catch him near Escala, the Sweet Dreams or GEH, we can have him arrested for violating the order," Taylor points out.

"If you think it will help, I have no objection to filing for one. But, I doubt it will be granted-"

"Why wouldn't the police grant the order after what he did to you?!

"He isn't doing anything right now and we probably can't even prove that it's him in the picture. The police will argue that the tattoo isn't enough to identify him."

"You've been through this before," Taylor says rather than asks.

"I tried to leave him at one point," she explains. "The first time he hit me he swore he would never do it again and stupidly I believed him especially since my grandmother wouldn't take me back. When he grabbed me after that I went to the police station to ask what my options were. They talked to me about a PFA and how if he violated it that he could be arrested assuming the police showed up while he was still there. They told me my case was weak because I had no injuries from him grabbing me, there were no witnesses and no documentation of his previous abuse. At the end of the meeting, they were sure to ask me how my future father in law was doing. I knew right then that even if I did have a PFA against him it would never be enforced in that city."

"It wouldn't be like that here," I say firmly. Hell I've probably paid for half the police department's vehicles over the last two years alone.

"Maybe, maybe not," she shrugs. "But it doesn't change the fact that he hasn't _done_ anything…yet."

"And we won't let him," Taylor assures her.

"We'll talk to my dad anyway, maybe he'll have other ideas."

She shrugs but doesn't argue at least. Hyde's father holding political office would have made it impossible for her to get any help in that city. The fact that she was able to get out, makes me even more appreciative for Second Chances and all they did for her. I quickly pull out my phone, type an email to Andrea instructing her to make an anonymous donation to Second Chances from my personal account. I ask her to schedule a meeting for after the holidays with the CEO so I can get a better of idea of what their needs are.

"Sir?" Taylor clears his throat and nods his head towards his watching reminding me of the time.

"Yes, please load the car," I confirm.

"Are we going back to Escala?" Ana asks.

"No, I don't plan on returning there until some major changes are made and Taylor is working on those. Right now, Taylor has made arrangements for us to fly to Montana for the week."

"Montana?"

"That's where my parents cabin is; while we only won a weekend at the cabin, I'm sure my parents won't mind if we add a few days onto the schedule."

"Oh! I forgot all about that. Are you sure you can get away from work? If you need to stay in Seattle-"

"GEH is closed on Wednesday to allow everyone to start getting ready for Thanksgiving early and it doesn't reopen until Tuesday. By then we should have things figured out, but if not we'll find somewhere more secure to stay."

"Can we go back to Escala?"

"No, until we find Hyde we won't be going near Escala."

"I don't have enough clothes here; Sawyer only grabbed one set of clean clothes. I can make do with what we have, maybe we can stop somewhere when we get there to get more clothes?"

"Already ahead of you; there will be clothes at the house waiting for us."

"Of course there will be," she chuckles and shakes her head.

"What?"

"Nothing," she giggles. I smile at the sound, knowing its been a rough couple of days for her which have prevented her from laughing recently. I pull her close to me, lift her onto my lap and hold her close to me. Taylor discretely leaves the room, but I don't think either of us pay him much attention. I don't know how long we sit like that, but holding Ana like this makes me forget everything else that is going on. It makes me forget what could change in the next few days; it makes me forget reality.

 _Author's Note: If you don't already, please follow me on facebook Madison Fanfictionauthor. If you followed me on facebook you would have gotten a sneak peek into the page of this chapter along with a picture of what awaits them in Montana. You could have also viewed some of my FSOG inspired bags and learned how to get one for free. Send me a friend request to keep up to date on everything with the story!_


	85. Chapter 85

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 85 APOV:**

"The jet has been under 24/7 video surveillance since the incident with Charlie Tango and was thoroughly checked over earlier this morning," Christian explains as we buckle into our seats and wait to be cleared for take-off.

"I know," I can't help but chuckle. "You mentioned that twice on the way over here."

"I…I don't want you to worry…after last time-"

"I trust you Christian," I assure him. "What happened with Charlie Tango doesn't change that. I know you and Taylor increased security and probably changed a million things after that to prevent anyone from getting near your planes again."

"If you're not okay with flying we can always drive-"

"I'm fine," I squeeze his hand trying to reassure him. Although I'm sure he won't admit it, I think he is nervous about flying again. I'd be lying if my first thought when Christian said we would by flying wasn't Charlie Tango. I don't know why, but I'm not nervous about flying today. Taylor and Sawyer are here with us if anything were to happen so it wouldn't be like we were alone again. Plus, I know that Christian and Taylor probably made security so tight that it would be impossible for anyone unauthorized to get near one of Christian's planes.

Christian grasps my hand as the plane starts to slowly taxi to the runway; his grip tightens when the plane begins to take off but as soon as it levels out his grip loosens. When the fasten seatbelt light goes off, Taylor and Sawyer both come over to the seats across from us and sit down so they're facing us.

"What do you have?" Christian asks.

"We're still trying to find a connection between Jack Hyde and Kathryn," Taylor begins. "We haven't been able to find any evidence that the two of them ever spoke let alone planned the incident at Escala. Welch is continuing to dig though as we're certain there must be something we're not seeing just yet."

"Do we know his whereabouts yet?"

"No. We have nothing on him since he left Escala after Kathryn entered the stairwell."

"Has she attempted to contact anyone from prison?"

"She reached out to her father, but according to my sources he hung up on her. She has made no other phone calls and has been appointed a public defender."

"Interesting," Christian sighs. "My father emailed me last night, he is trying to keep this out of the press but he doubts he'll be able to hide this one."

It shouldn't have, but it surprised me to hear that the press might learn about what happened at Escala. Suddenly the guilt hits me; if it wasn't for me Kathryn likely never would have come back to Escala the other night. She wouldn't have gone after Christian because she wouldn't have had the means to do so. I have no doubt that somehow Jack was behind her getting to Seattle; it doesn't sound like she would have been able to do so without him if what she said about her father cutting her off was true. Now I feel horrible because Christian initially wanted me to keep the press off his case but now I may have brought them right to his doorstep.

"You okay?" Christian asks which is when I notice that the conversation seems to have stopped.

"Fine, just a little tired," I lie.

"Everything is set at the cabin?" Christian asks Taylor.

"Yes, Welch is monitoring the security feeds from the office while we're in flight. I have security on the ground already; trail cameras have been set up to monitor the perimeter of the grounds."

"My parents? Mia and Elliot?"

"Security remains on high alert and assigned for everyone," Taylor confirms. "We're waiting for confirmation from your mother if they will fly in Wednesday afternoon or first thing Thursday morning. Initial plans are for them to remain at least through Saturday."

"We're going to have Thanksgiving at the cabin," Christian explains obviously sensing my confusion. "My mother is big on holidays for some reason; you're not permitted to miss a holiday dinner no matter what the reason."

"Gosh, I can't remember the last time I had a holiday dinner," knowing how loving the Greys are I can picture them all around the table on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I could also see Grace refusing to accept any excuse about missing dinner.

I look up and briefly catch a look of sadness in Taylor's eyes at my words, but before I can even second guess if that's what I saw he looks back to Christian.

"Security will fly in with your family and escort them to the cabin, at which point we'll decide how many will remain through the weekend. It will likely depend on Ms. Grey's plans for Friday-"

"She will have no plans," Christian interrupts quickly.

"I agree that would be best, but you know how much she loves to shop especially the day after Thanksgiving-"

"I'll give her my black card, she can shop until she drops online."

"Understood sir," Taylor nods. "If there are no major outings planned, I'll probably just keep one or two of the men to remain on staff for the weekend. The others will be split between watching the properties in Seattle and staying in Montana in the event we need additional staff."

"Whatever you think is best Taylor."

The remainder of the flight is non eventful. Christian works from his laptop and phone throughout the flight; I read a book that was thankfully packed in my overnight bag for the trip. I'm not sure how much of the book I actually read during the flight though; I couldn't seem to keep my mind focused on it. My thoughts switch between worrying about the press putting pressure on Christian and the fact that _he_ is now in the same city I live in and no one knows where he is. Even though I trust Taylor and Sawyer to keep me safe, I can't help but worry that _he_ will somehow find me. He was so close the other night…

"It'll be another couple of hours before we arrive at the cabin," Christian pulls me from my thoughts which is when I realize at some point we have landed. I can hear the flight crew preparing for our departure from the plane as we slowly taxi towards the terminal.

"Do we need to stop for anything?" I ask.

"Taylor arranged for everything that we'll need to be there by the time we arrive," Christian confirms. "Once I find out when my parents are coming in, we'll place another grocery order. I'll have Taylor find a restaurant that will provide a catered Thanksgiving dinner that we can pick up-"

"You can't do that!" I interrupt.

"Why not? Gail isn't able to make it out here-"

"You can't have a catered Thanksgiving meal from a restaurant Christian!"

"Again…why not?"

"You're supposed to have a home cooked meal for the holidays. Does your mom order a catered meal on Thanksgiving or Christmas?" I already know the answer before I ask the question. I cannot picture Grace ordering a holiday meal from a restaurant. Not after hearing how important the holidays are to her.

"Of course not but-"

"I'll cook Thanksgiving dinner."

"You will?"

"Sure, why not? I can google some recipes…I've never cooked a turkey before but it can't be that hard. I can call your mom too, I'm sure she would share some recipes with me."

"Ana are you sure? That sounds like a lot of work…."

"it's fine…it'll keep me busy; I'm sure you're going to have work to do while we're there right?"

"Well yeah…but…."

"I've always wanted to cook a big family meal," I shrug. "Just never had a family to cook one for; I want to do this, please Christian."

"If you're sure Ana," he leans over and kisses me. "You have a family-"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have been cleared to disembark from the plane," the flight attendant interrupts Christian. Your security team is waiting at the gate for you."

We gather the few items we brought onto the plane before Taylor and Sawyer escort us from the plane. Once inside the airport we are met by two large men dressed in all black who simply nod to us before leading us through a quiet, private area of the airport. We're immediately led out a private exit where two black SUVs are waiting for us. We climb into one with Taylor and Sawyer while the second SUV follows us. Christian's arm remains protectively wrapped around me as I rest my head on his shoulder and watch the scenery change around us.

"Ana, baby we're here," Christian's voice pulls me from my sleep.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep," I look out to see we are parked in front of a large log cabin. "Wow…."

"Come on," Christian chuckles at my reaction before guiding me to the open door.

The cabin is nothing what I imagined it would be; I guess I kind of expected a small cabin but what stands in front of me is anything but small. The large two story log cabin is like something out of magazine. A large deck spans the front of it while a smaller balcony comes off sliding doors on the second floor. I glance around and see nothing but trees surrounding us; there are no other cabins to be seen and other than Taylor's voice in the distance there are no other sounds to be heard.

"Everything is set up inside sir," Sawyer confirms as I close the car door.

"Wonderful, I don't expect to need you the remainder of the night," Christian says.

"We'll be patrolling the perimeter of the cabin all night; the security interior cameras have been disabled except for the ones pointing at the doors. Be sure to call if you plan on leaving the cabin for any reason."

"Will do," Christian guides me onto the deck and then through the door that opens to a beautiful living room.

"This is amazing," I glance around trying to take in everything. The floor plan is very open, obviously designed to make entertaining easier. The living room and dining room are combined; the large kitchen sits just off the dining room. The living room furniture is arranged surrounding a large stone fireplace which has a fire already lit in it.

"There are two bedrooms down here and another three upstairs," Christian explains. "There are two master suites up there so we'll take one and then when my parents arrive later this week they'll take the other. Each master bedroom has a balcony that overlooks the property; the one that we'll have overlooks the lake and has a small hot tub on it."

"This is beautiful Christian…"

"I bought it for my parents on their 25th wedding anniversary," he shrugs. "We used to rent this little cabin not far from here every summer for a week when we were growing up. My mother loved getting away from Seattle for that week; my dad loved to take us hiking and fishing while mom and Mia went shopping."

"You bought this for them?"

"When I started GEH, I promised myself that one day I would buy my parents a place out here where they could come anytime they wanted. I…I wanted to thank them for taking all of us in when they didn't have to. There aren't too many people who would have taken in a half starved, beaten little boy who couldn't stand to be touched," he glances around the room obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Christian," I'm not sure what else to say. The fact that he did this for his parents just amazes me; yet the reason he felt he needed to saddens me. Not knowing what to say or do, I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. His arms wrap around my back as he squeezes me tightly, holding me against him.

"There's a small cabin just through the woods where the security team will be staying while we're here. It was the original cabin on the property, but when I bought the land I wanted something larger as I knew my mother would expect all of us to still come here when we could. It's far enough away to give us some privacy, but close enough that Taylor's team can still monitor this house. The driveway has a security gate that can only be opened with a key code which is changed every month. The perimeter of the property is outfitted with a top of the line security system that will go off if anything larger than an animal crosses the path. We're safe here, Ana."

"Thank you Christian," whether he knew it or not, I definitely needed the reassurance with everything else that had happened.

"Let's get settled and then we'll take a walk outside."

Christian gives me a brief tour of the cabin which is just beyond anything I could imagine before we end up in the master bedroom where we will be staying this week. The room is only slightly smaller than our bedroom at Escala, but the view from the deck is stunning. It overlooks a lake and other than that the only thing that can be seen is the woods surrounding the property. Since I fell asleep in the car I have no idea how far we are from civilization but right now I feel like we're the only people for miles.

A large master bathroom and a small walk in closet complete the room. Like magic, the closet has been filled with more clothes than we could possibly need for a week away. I don't need to check to know that they're all in the correct sizes for both of us. I have no doubt that the dressers are also filled with more clothes than we could possibly need.

I take a long, hot shower while Christian catches up on emails that he missed. I let the hot water pour over my body, letting the worry that has surrounded me most of the day wash away with the soap. I push the thought of _him_ and the press out of my mind. I try not to worry how the press finding out about what happened at Escala might impact Christian's business…and worse how it could impact us since it would be the exact opposite of what Christian intended when he signed the contract with Elena. I try not to think that he might decide it would be better if-

"Baby, you almost done? It's getting late, but I wanted to show you the view before it gets completely dark outside."

"Yeah, I'll be right out," I call back before washing the last of the soap off my body.

I quickly dry myself off, wrap the towel around my waist before heading to the bedroom where I find Christian has already laid out a pair of jeans, a long sleeve shirt and a zip up sweater for me. I quickly put on the clothes, confirming my earlier thoughts that they would fit perfectly before going in search of Christian. I find him in the kitchen, fidgeting with his phone.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"What? Oh yeah, it's fine," he answers but still appears…distracted.

"Did you still want to-"

"Yes," he interrupts quickly. "I just spoke with Taylor and let him know what the plans are."

Christian takes my hand, squeezing it tightly before leading me through the living room to the front door where he pulls on a sweater. I hear him take a deep breath before opening the door for me; he doesn't say anything but leads me down a slightly worn trail that leads around the cabin to a beautiful lake. The lake is absolutely beautiful; its larger than it looks from the balcony off our bedroom. There is a dock next to a small cabin on the side of the lake furthest from the house; the security cabin is in the opposite direction and from what I can see there is nothing beyond the lake except the woods.

Christian leads me to the small cabin, opening the door before stepping back to allow me to walk in before him.

"Christian?"

 _Author's Note: This chapter was completed on Friday and ready to post. Unfortunately fanfiction decided it didn't want my chapter posted LOL. They were having technical issues and by the time it was resolved I didn't have access to the computer where my story is kept. So...I finally got it up today._

 _As a reminder: feel free to friend me on facebook for previews of upcoming chapters and to keep up with where I am with the story._


	86. Chapter 86

_Author's Note: A little short, but it's done..._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 86 APOV:**

As the door to the cabin closes, we are almost in complete darkness. The only light is coming from a small candle placed on a table next to a gift box.

"Christian?" I turn, reaching out for him; my hand quickly finds his as he moves closer to me.

"Ana," his voice is shakier than I think I've ever heard it. "I….I…."

"Christian, what's wrong? You're scaring me."

"Fuck…I'm not good at this type of shit," he mumbles not giving me any idea as to what _this_ might be. "The last few days, have really opened my eyes to a lot of things Ana." _Fuck….fuck….he's realizing that being with me is having the opposite effect that he wanted. He's going to say it's too much. He's going to say that it's not worth keeping up the charade of our marriage. I can't….I –_

"The….what happened at Escala could have turned out very differently. I could have lost you to… _her._ My life has changed so much since I met you Ana; since the moment I saw you on the sidewalk drenched from the rain puddle, I knew you were different. You changed my life that day and you've been changing it ever since. Just like when Taylor and I left GEH that day to head home, I had no idea how one simple, brief meeting with Elena would lead to my life being changed…forever."

"Christian…." I don't know what to say.

"When I met you, everything changed. You made me trust again, so much so that for the first time since I was a toddler, I've allowed someone to touch my chest. You've given me a reason to come home at night, to take vacations…hell you've given me a reason to just put my phone down and leave it there. And you've done all of this…without asking for anything in return. Without intending to, you challenged everything I thought I knew about my life."

"I…."

"I love you Ana…more than anyone I have ever loved in my entire life. I can't imagine my life without you but I've been petrified that you didn't feel the same way I do," he pauses and I wish like hell I could see his face right now. Unfortunately the room is so dark that even the little bit of light coming from the small candle isn't providing enough for me to see him.

"Christian, I love you," I wrap my arms around his neck before slowly kissing his soft lips. "My life…nothing has been the same since I met you that day on the sidewalk. I had no idea what to expect that first night I walked into the restaurant to meet you. You were the last person I expected to be meeting me, yet deep down I had hoped it would be you. What I never expected though was to fall in love with you, yet I did…I very easily fell in love with the wonderful man that you are."

"Ana," he whispers my name against my ear as his arms tighten around my waist. "When we walked into Escala the other night and saw….my first and only thought was protecting you. Later, I realized how close I came to losing you. Ana, the realization of that rocked me to my core. I don't want to ever lose you; I don't want to go back to the way my life was before you. I don't want to go back to barely living; barely existing. I can't imagine my life without you and I hope I never have to."

Without any warning, Christian drops to his knees in front of me and I gasp as my mind immediately starts to piece what's happening together. I've been terrified that Christian was going to say that he needed to end things between us, that the added attention from the press wasn't going to have the effect he wanted it to. Yet all this time, he was thinking the opposite. He is just as afraid of losing me as I am of losing him. I-

"Ana," he takes a deep breath and I hear him slowly letting it out. "I think I fell in love with you that day on the sidewalk, but I was too fucked up to admit it. I've loved every moment that we have spent together; I love going to sleep next to you and waking up next to your warm, beautiful body pressed up against mine. I love coming home at night and having dinner with you. I love sitting on the couch and doing nothing but watching movies with you. If you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to show you just how much I love you. Anastasia, will do me the honor of marrying me?"

"Oh God Christian," I sink to the floor and wrap my arms around him. He immediately catches me as I almost manage to send us both flying backwards. "Yes…Yes I'll marry you."

"Thank fuck," he mumbles just before his lips find mine. Our kiss is filled with passion and emotion; it's as if I can truly feel how much Christian loves me in that moment.

"Shhhh," Christian whispers as he wipes the tears from my cheeks. Christian takes my hand and I feel him slipping a ring onto my left hand. "I thought about getting you a whole new set, but…it felt wrong to do that. These," he brings my hand up to his so he can kiss the rings that were already there, "represent where we came from; I want us to build on that."

He slides the other ring down further so it rests above the others; I don't need to be able to see it to know it's going to be beautiful. But nothing will be as beautiful as Christian's words just were. I kiss him, trying to convey without words how much I love him. I'm at a complete loss for words, so I do the only thing I can think of; I pour my heart into kissing him. We're both on our knees, our bodies pressed against one another when I feel Christian reaching into his pocket and taking out his phone. Just our lips part, the dark room lights up with a soft glow from what I can only assume are hundreds of Christmas lights.

Christian takes my hand and gently pulls me up so we're both standing; I gasp when I take in the entire room. Christmas lights are strung from the ceiling going around the beams and nearly every surface is covered with bouquets of flowers.

"Christian…this is…." I stutter taking in the entire room before me.

"I…I've never done the hearts and flowers shit, but I've had so many firsts with you that I wanted to at least try."

"Try?" I wave my arm across the beautiful scene in front of me. "This is…amazing, beautiful and spectacular Christian. I've never seen anything so perfect in my entire life."

"I have," he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me to his chest. "You're perfect Ana and I swear I'm going to spend every day of the rest of my life trying to show you how much I love you."

"Christian," the finality of his words truly hitting me.

"Come here," he leads me over to the small table where the candle and the gift box is sitting. "This is for you."

I look at him puzzled; he just gave me a room filled with flowers and a new diamond ring, what more could he possibly give me? I untie the red bow from the white square box and place it on the table before lifting the cover from the box. Pushing the tissue paper aside, I finally see what the gift is. I look up at Christian and find his unsure eyes watching my every move.

"This is my copy of our….arrangement. The only other copy that exists is the one that you have in your safe deposit box. I'd like nothing more than to destroy both copies of our contract, but that needs to be your decision. I'm giving my only copy to you; what you do with it is up to you."

"I…." Wow…talk about everything being completely unexpected today. "I don't want either copy. Let's destroy both copies together."

"You're sure? If you want to keep it, if you need to-"

"No," I turn around facing him. "I don't need to."

My lips easily find his as my arms wrap around his neck; he pulls me closer to him so there is no space between us. I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now; my heart honestly feels like it's going to burst. I have so many emotions running through me; emotions I can't even put names on. I was so afraid to let myself think about anything long term with Christian because I didn't think long term was something he wanted. I didn't dare let myself dream that today could ever be a possibility; I've learned the hard way not to dream.

"You're sure?" Christian whispers pulling his lips back but leaving them close enough so I can feel his breath against my lips.

"Positive," I can only hope that the look in my eyes is enough to convey that there isn't an ounce of doubt in my mind.

"I can have Sawyer pick up the paperwork from the bank if you're sure?" I nod in agreement. "I don't want to rush you-"

"No I want to do this Christian; I have no need to keep the contract any longer," I assure him.

"Me either. I need….I want….I feel like getting rid of the contract is like…"

"Moving forward."

"Exactly," his lips are on mine once again as he once again pulls me against his hard body. Christian's hands roam my back, exploring my body as his tongue dances with mine. I run my fingers through his hair, loving the way it feels as I do.

"I love you Ana," Christian lifts me, grasping my ass as I wrap my legs around his waist.

"I…love…you," I pant as he holds me against his erection which manages to rub against my clit as he walks us across the room. My lips are on his, my hands gripping his shoulders tightly although not out of concern that he will drop me.

My eyes flutter open when I feel something soft against my back; Christian is above me, his body pressed against mine. His hand slips under my shirt quickly removing my nipple from the bra so he can tease it easily. His lips trail down my neck, nibbling and sucking as he goes. Within seconds my shirt and bra fall to the floor, my back arches pushing me closer to Christian as he sucks gently on my nipple. I tug at his shirt, pulling it over his head, forcing his mouth from me if only for a split second.

He slowly kisses his way down my stomach, lightly nipping at my stomach as he unbuttons my jeans. I lift my hips so he can slide my jeans down; along with my panties they join my shirt and bra on the floor leaving me completely bare on the couch.

"You're beautiful," Christian says as he kisses his way back up to my lips.

"Christian," I moan when his denim covered erection rubs against clit.

He slips an arm underneath me, grasping my ass as he pulls me closer to him just as his lips land on mine. My lips immediately part, welcoming him in; my hands move almost on their own accord touching him wherever I possibly can. I love that unlike the first few times we made love, I can now touch Christian wherever I want. I love that he not only trusts me enough to let me touch him like that but that I can do so without causing him any discomfort.

With my body practically on fire with need, I reach between us and unbutton Christian's jeans, gently pushing them over his hips and his firm ass. He buries his face in my neck as he lifts himself slightly above me allowing me to push his jeans down lower. When they fall to his knees and I can't reach them any longer, I wrap my legs around his and use my feet to push them the remainder of the way down. He groans when his bare erection rubs against my damp sex.

"I need you Christian," I can feel my face heats up as I whisper those words to him.

"I'm yours Ana," with one hand on my ass he slips into me, filling me in the way that only he can. My legs wrap around his waist, holding him close to me as I meet him thrust for thrust as the need quickly rises in both of us. No other words are spoken, the only sounds in the room are our heavy breathing and the occasional moan that comes from one of us. Yet, it feels as if our bodies are the ones doing all the talking, telling the other how much we love them and how deep those feelings run. The need builds slowly, with each thrust pushing me closer and closer to the edge until my entire body feels like it's about to burst.

"Christian….I…." I beg but I'm not entirely sure what for.

"I know Ana," he thrusts one final time, holding himself deep inside of me while applying just enough pressure to my clit to push me right over the edge.

"Christian!" I swear I see stars as the orgasm hits me hard, my body shaking as the pleasure rips through me. Christian's arms wrap around, holding me close to him as he pushes deeper into me before calling out my name as his warmth fills me. His entire body relaxes against me a few seconds later; he is no longer holding his weight off of me. I run my hands over his back loving the way his body continues to shudder against me.

"Sorry….let me move-"

"No, stay," I wrap my arms around him not letting him move.

"I don't want to hurt you Ana, I'm too heavy."

"Stay."

He doesn't argue but doesn't move off of me either. I don't know how long we lay like that, it could be hours or it could be minutes. All time seems to stand still; it's as if nothing in the world exists outside of the little bubble we're in right now. As if nothing from the last few days even exists; nothing and no one can pop the bubble we're in right now.

"I love you," Christian kisses me before moving to take a little of the weight off of me.

"I love you too."

"When things….are back to normal, I was thinking we could fly somewhere. Have another ceremony on the beach, just the two of us….unless you would want something different? If you do-"

"No, a beach and just us sounds perfect," I reassure him. "We could do that though? I mean legally we're already married…"

"We can have a full ceremony in another country; I think if we did something in the US it would be more of a vow renewal."

"A beach somewhere sounds perfect," I sigh.

"As soon as we can, we'll go."

"Sounds perfect."


	87. Chapter 87

_Author's Note: I'm not going to apologize for the lack of updates or responses to PMs. Unfortunately it seems that I am not immune to the trolls that seem to love to rip those of who write stories on this site. On average I was receiving 3-5 "guest" reviews tearing my writing and my story apart. While deleting them is all that can be done, that doesn't make reading them hurt any less._

 _But, I've decided that this ends today. So to the troll(s), I'm saying screw you because I spent the entire weekend rereading my own story and have decided I'm not giving up on it. If you don't like it, screw you._

 **Chpt. 87 CPOV:**

"I woke up to an empty bed," I pout as I walk into the kitchen finally finding Ana leaning over the stove cooking pancakes in the t shirt that I threw on last night before we walked back to the main cabin. "What time is it?"

"Just after twelve thirty," she smirks at me knowing that I never sleep this late.

"You exhausted me last night," I move closer to her, so I'm directly behind her, my body pressed up against her. My arm wraps around her waist, anchoring her to me.

"I can't imagine why," she chuckles as her face reddens at the reason why I slept so late.

After I proposed to Ana (again) in the boathouse, we made love and laid next to each other for hours just holding each other. When we were both fighting to stay awake, we reluctantly left the boathouse and walked back to the main cabin where we continued to celebrate our engagement (is it still an engagement if you're already married?) throughout the night. I can't tell you how many times either of us came or what time we finally crashed for the night although I do vaguely remember watching the sun rise as one point.

"Come back to bed," my lips are pressed up against her ear and I feel her body shiver against mine.

"No," she whispers back.

"No?"

"I need sustenance before….that," she giggles and blushes again.

"Okay, food and then we go back to bed."

I reluctantly pull away from Ana, knowing that she's right; we both need to eat. With that realization my stomach starts growling…loudly enough that Ana once again smirks at me as if to say "see?" I make a cup of tea for Ana before making myself a cup of coffee. Like clockwork, everything is finished just in time; Ana carries over two plates of pancakes to the small table just off the kitchen while I follow behind with our cups.

"I love the view here," she sighs staring out the large sliding doors that lead to the wraparound deck. "It's so peaceful."

"You'll like it in Aspen too; we'll be just as secluded there as we are here. Snow covered mountains and trees are all you can see. It's easy when you're there, or here, to forget the rest of the world exits."

"That it is," she says with her eyes still focused outside.

As I watch her as she eats, I don't need to ask to know what she's thinking about. The last couple of days have just been….hell. If I thought it would help, I would keep Ana here forever and say screw the rest of the world. However, even I know that we can't hide forever. If I ever get my hands on her ex, I swear I'll kill him with my bare hands for what he did to her and for what he put her though. How someone could hurt another human being like that I will never understand. A knock on the door of the cabin quickly pulls me from my thoughts.

"That's probably Taylor," I quickly take my plate to the sink before Ana does the same, scraping at least half of what was on her plate into the garbage.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower and put on some clothes," Ana says.

"If you wait until we're done, I'll join you," I suggest.

"That's okay, I won't be long; you catch up with Taylor."

Another knock comes from the door before I can ask if everything is okay. I force myself to remember that the last few days are probably wearing on Ana. Just another reason we need to catch this fucker and get him out of Ana's life once and for all.

"Morning sir," Taylor says as soon as I open the door.

"Taylor," I nod and step aside to let him into the cabin.

"Mrs. Grey, sir?"

"In the shower; tell me you have something."

"Barney cleaned up the image from the security camera," he pauses.

"And?"

"The tattoo is exactly as Mrs. Grey described sir."

"So it's him," I sigh in confirmation.

"Everything is looking that way sir."

"Tell me you found him or you found something…." I run my hands through my hair as I practically beg Taylor for information I know he doesn't yet have. The longer this fucker is out there, the longer he poses a risk to Ana.

"Nothing substantial sir," he hesitates.

"But….you found something?" I try not to get my hopes up.

"We've been tracking the van that was found on Escala's surveillance that we believe Hyde left Escala in and it's been found abandoned."

"How is this news? It sounds like you're no further to catching him than you were the other night! Damn it Taylor give me something!"

"Relax Christian," Ana says softly as she walks into the room. "Maybe you should let Taylor finish what he was saying."

I stand up from the couch, turning and holding out my hand to Ana pleading with her to come sit by me. I don't know what happened in the shower, but the Ana from breakfast seems to be gone. Ana smiles at Taylor as he nods in her direction before she takes my hand and sits next to me on the couch. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer to me, needing to feel her against me.

"Taylor, if Christian didn't already offer you some, there's coffee and pancakes in the kitchen."

"Thank you ma'am but that won't be necessary."

"At least have some coffee, you look like you haven't slept in a week," she says at which point I finally look at Taylor and realize that Ana's right. He looks like shit; I doubt he slept much at all in the last couple of days.

"I….thank you Mrs. Grey; I could probably use another cup," he is obviously uncomfortable with the attention on himself.

"I'll-" Ana offers.

"Stay," I interrupt her. "I got it. Black Taylor?"

"Yes sir."

"How's Sawyer? Did you guys eat this morning?" I hear Ana ask as I walk into the kitchen. I smile and shake my head; despite everything going on and the obvious pressure this is putting on her, she always worries about everyone else.

"We're fine, thank you ma'am-"

"Stop calling me ma'am!" Ana interrupts loudly.

"Yes, Mrs. Grey," Taylor chuckles. "We've both eaten breakfast and Sawyer is getting ready to fly back to Seattle tonight and will return tomorrow with the Grey family."

"Taylor," I hand him a cup of coffee and take my place next to Ana again pulling her close to me.

"You said you found the van he was driving?" Ana asks.

"Yes, we're waiting for confirmation from the police but the description matches the vehicle from the security footage. The plates were removed, so we don't have that to confirm. The police have their IT department working on matching the vehicle to the footage we provided, however according to Barney it's a match."

"Where was the van found?" I ask.

"Two buildings down from where Ms. Steele lived before…she moved into the condo at Escala."

Well…fuck….I wasn't expecting that.

"He knew where I lived," she whispers. "Oh my God…could he have been the one who broke into my apartment that night?"

"We looked into his whereabouts once we learned who he was as we initially thought he might have been responsible for the break in."

"And?" I ask.

"He was in New York that entire weekend."

"You're sure?" Ana asks.

"His company had a work outing that day; there were pictures on their website with him in the day of the break in."

Ana lets out the breath I think she had been holding since she realized he may have broken into her apartment. I feel, rather than see, her body relax against mine as the realization hits her that it wasn't him. I know from experience that someone like this is the last person you want in your home; I don't know how I'm going to back to Escala and not see _her_ in the foyer.

"How does this help us find him Taylor?" I feel like all we've done is talk in circles; I have no fucking idea how this is good news. We have an abandoned van near an apartment that Ana hasn't lived in for ages.

"According to Seattle PD, his fingerprints were found all over the van along with…Ms. Kavanaugh's. The van was also reported stolen by a neighbor of his in New York; this neighbor also confirmed that he did not lend or give permission to Mr. Hyde to use his van."

"Again, how does this help us Taylor?" Again….we're in fucking circles.

"Because as soon as we find Hyde, the police can arrest and hold him on grand theft auto charges. The security footage confirms he was driving the van at the time it was reported stolen. Combined with the fact that he crossed multiple state lines, means he will be held without bail once he is arrested."

"So how the fuck do we find him?" I growl.

"We're working on that sir," Taylor sighs heavily. I know he is just as frustrated by the situation as I am; there is no denying that Ana has worked her way into all of our lives in the past few months. I have no doubt that Taylor would do anything to protect Ana. "Barney has hacked into the security systems for every public transportation location possible. He has some sort of facial recognition software program he developed in the last 48 hours that is screening practically every camera in the city for Hyde's face. According to Barney, his system is more accurate than Seattle PD's software."

"Is _she_ talking at all yet?" I ask.

"No. She's met with her public defender but otherwise has had no visitors and no phone calls."

"Has anyone figured out how they knew each other?" Ana asks.

"Not yet."

"She was seeing a shrink right? Someone Flynn recommended," I remember.

"Yes sir, she was."

"Perhaps Flynn or that therapist can talk to her. We need to figure out what the fuck Hyde's plan was!"

"Sir-"

"Someone needs to figure something out because I will not put my life on hold again for one of these fuckers! First _her¸_ then Charlie Tango and now this! Enough is enough! Get both of these fuckers out of our lives so that Ana and I can stop putting our damn lives on hold!" I

"Relax Christian," Ana's hand is on mine as she squeezes it gently instantly calming me.

"Taylor-"

"I get it sir, no apology needed," he says. "I'll speak with Flynn and see what he can do."

"There has to be some way to get her to flip on Hyde," I wonder aloud.

"We'll figure it out sir," Taylor stands essentially ending the conversation. "As a reminder, Sawyer is flying out this evening to return to Seattle. He will be picking up document you requested from Ms. Steele's bank and then will fly back with your family tomorrow morning. Rennolds has already flown in and is being briefed by Sawyer right now. If you need anything from a store, I would recommend you providing me a list before Sawyer leaves so at least two of us will remain here at all times."

"I don't think we need anything-"

"I have a list," Ana interrupts surprising me. "I spent some time online this morning, figuring out what all is typically made for Thanksgiving dinner – besides the turkey of course – and how to make it. We need a few items if you don't mind Taylor."

"Of course Mrs. Grey, it won't be a problem," his eyes soften and the reason is not lost on me at all. Twice in the last 24 hours Ana has made reference to not having family dinners during the holidays and I can't help but cringe wondering what holidays were like for her growing up. I wonder how different her holidays were from my own before the Greys took me in.

"Here you go, I think I have everything," she hands him a hand written grocery list that looks like it has entirely too much food on it for just a few people.

"Ana, baby, if you don't find like cooking, it's not too late to find someone to cater-"

"Absolutely not! You can't have a catered Thanksgiving day dinner Christian," she slaps my arm and I can't help but chuckle at her. "Plus it sounds like your mom is coming tomorrow so she'll be here to help cook too! Plus of course Mia will be able to help."

"My mother confirmed she is coming tomorrow and not Thursday morning Taylor?" I ask.

"Yes sir, she was able to switch shifts at the hospital so she works overnight tonight and is off Thursday and Friday. She'll need to fly back Saturday morning as she has another overnight shift scheduled."

"Very good," I nod oddly pleased at the thought of Ana and my mom making Thanksgiving dinner. I don't think I've ever given holiday dinners a second thought; I've just always taken them for granted but once again Ana has managed to open my eyes.


	88. Chapter 88

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 88 APOV:**

"Are you sure you want to cook Thanksgiving dinner?" Christian asks me for what must be the hundredth time in the last 48 hours. "I can still find someone to-"

"Will you stop asking me? We'll be fine," I insist.

"It just seems like an awful lot of work," he sighs.

"Christian! You know damn well, I never have a meal catered at the holidays! Since the day God brought each of you into our home, you have always had a home cooked meal for every holiday. Just because we're here instead of in Seattle doesn't change anything," Grace scolds.

"I know Mom, it just seems like a lot of work-"

"Christian…Elliot, why won't we leave the ladies alone to cook and take a hike?" Carrick suggests and I smile at him trying to thank him for distracting Christian.

"Sounds good to me!" Elliot jumps up from the couch.

"Ummm…sure," Christian mumbles before walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "You okay here?"

"I'm good, go enjoy the beautiful weather," The sun has been shining all day and surprisingly it isn't too cold out for Thanksgiving. "You taking someone with you right?"

"Taylor and Sawyer will be here, Reynolds and Smith will be with us," despite earlier plans, Christian decided to keep a few of the security members here instead of sending them back to Seattle. The idea was to give Taylor and Sawyer a little bit of a break since they have been going non stop since the incident at Escala but I don't think either of them stopped since everyone arrived yesterday.

"Go, have fun," I urge.

"Laters baby," he whispers before kissing my cheek and following his dad and Elliot out of the cabin.

"Men," Grace grumbles. "He's never complained about the work that went into the meal any other year."

"That's cause he just showed up to eat and left as soon as desert was over," Mia explains.

"He didn't stay long?" I ask.

"No," Grace sighs. "It was always something with GEH that needed his attention; he would show up a few minutes before the meal was ready with a bottle of wine and then leave right after desert was served."

"When he was with….Katherine, they didn't stay?" I ask.

"No," the anger in Grace's voice doesn't go unnoticed.

"Please, that Bitch always thought she was too good for us-"

"Mia! Language."

"It's true and you know it," Mia says without apologizing.

"Ana, to answer your questions, no Christian didn't stay on the rare occasion that Katherine would join him for family dinners," Grace clarifies.

"Oh."

I knew Katherine didn't get along with Christian's family but I guess I just assumed that it was because of how she tried to extort him. Christian did mention that Grace wouldn't let Katherine call her by her name, but I guess I didn't realize the extent to which the dislike ran.

"It's nice to see Christian get away from GEH for a little while though, even if it under these circumstances," Grace smiles at me.

"I'm kind of surprised he's been able to stay away this long," Mia giggles.

"He's been checking his emails here and there; yesterday he had a call with Roz to review everything before the long weekend. The office is closed obviously today, but also tomorrow and Monday so I think that helps."

"How are you handling everything Ana?" Grace asks. "I know these last few days have been….interesting."

"It's been….rough," I admit. "I think the worst part is just not knowing where Jack is-"

"Jack?" Grace asks.

"Who's Jack?" Mia mimics.

"I thought Christian told you?" I'm surprised. He told me his family knew of the reason for the increased security.

"We know Katherine broke into Escala, although God knows how she pulled that one off. That building has impeccable security," Grace says. "And Christian said they still haven't figured out who tampered with Charlie Tango."

"Is that who Jack is? Is he the one who made the helicopter go down?" Mia asks.

"Jack is my ex…fiancé," I say after releasing the breath I was holding.

"Oh boy….let's grab some wine and sit down. The turkey is in the oven, the potatoes are peeled but can't go in the oven yet and everything else can wait a little while," Grace suggests.

Mia pours us each a glass of wine before we go into the living area; no one says anything, I think they're both giving me the time I need to figure out what I want to say. Now that I think about it, I'm no longer surprised that Christian didn't tell his family about Jack. I know he was going to consult with his dad, but my guess is that's as far as the conversation went given that Carrick is an attorney.

"I met Jack when I was young and naive," I begin. "Jack went from picture perfect boyfriend to…a controlling monster almost immediately after I moved in with him. Looking back there were signs before then, but I was young and didn't pay attention to them at the time. It was to the point that I couldn't leave the house without his permission-"

"Oh Ana," Grace gasps.

"I was naïve," I shrugged. "I learned real quick what would happen if I broke one of his many rules."

"What happened?" Mia whispered.

"He became physically abusive a couple of weeks after I moved into his home. If I didn't follow the rules, or even if I did and he was having a bad day he would take it out on me-"

"Why did you stay with him?"

"Mia!"

"No, it's fine," I sigh. "Unfortunately I had nowhere to go. I had no job, an unfinished college degree and no family support. If I left him, I would have been homeless and living on the streets."

"But you eventually left him, right? I mean…" Mia stumbles trying to piece it all together.

"I did," I smile remembering the moment I left. "A few weeks before…., I was grocery shopping and a local organization that helps women…in my situation was fundraising at the store. I stopped and chatted with one of the ladies who worked at the organization about what they did. I wouldn't dare talk about my situation in public, as Jack's father was a politician and his family knew everyone. Instead, I acted as if we were interested in donating money to help their organization. I took her business card and as soon as I got home I hid it. I didn't know when, but I knew that at some point I was going to get the courage to leave him and would need their help."

"Second chances," Grace puts it all together.

"Yes," I confirm what I know she already knew. "We went to a business dinner one night and it ended very badly. When we arrived home that night, he took his anger out on me. He nearly killed me that night-"

"Oh Ana," Mia gasps.

"When I woke up, I he was gone," I continued. "I didn't know how long he had been gone for, so I grabbed my purse, cell phone and the business card from Second Chances and I left. I had nothing more than the clothing on my back and a couple of dollars in my wallet. I ran for a couple of blocks before calling Second Chances. I ditched the phone, knowing it has a GPS tracker on it, and then ran a few more blocks where someone picked up me and took me to their shelter."

"I hope Christian kills the bastard," Grace says and both Mia and I stare at her surprised at her words.

"So Jack lives in Seattle?" Mia asks.

"No, thank God," I reply. "I lived in New York and when I was recovered enough Second Chances asked me where I wanted to move to. I picked the farthest away city and they put me on a bus to Seattle. I've been here for more than two years now."

"He didn't bother you before now?" Grace asks.

"No. I had…have documentation from the police and medical staff that treated me the night I left him. I threatened to expose him if he ever came after me. With his father being an elected official, he wouldn't risk it."

"But you said that you don't know where Jack is now. I'm assuming you think he had something to do with what happened at Escala?" Grace asks.

"Jack's father died recently, which we think has returned his focus to me," I shake my head in disbelief. "I hadn't heard from except one time after I left him, but somehow he found me. He was on the security feed from Escala the night Katherine broke in. He helped get her into the parking garage and into the apartment."

"Holy Shit," Mia mumbles.

"Ana….I….." Grace is obviously speechless.

"The increased security is because of him," Mia realizes. "I didn't understand why we still needed security with that bitch in jail now, but it all makes sense. Christian should have just told us about him."

"It wasn't his story to tell," Grace says quietly.

If I wasn't completely head of heels in love with Christian already, the realization that Grace was right would have made me fall in love with him. Christian let his family believe that everything going on right now was because of his ex as he didn't want to break my trust and tell his family about Jack.

"So you don't know where he is?" Mia asks.

"No, apparently he stole a van and drove out here but the van was abandoned," I answer.

"I'm sure Taylor is doing everything he can to find him," Grace says.

"He is," I confirm. "I know he's working with Barney and Welch as well as the local police department to try to find him."

"Wow…Ana this just sucks," Mia says.

"Mia!" Grace exclaims.

"No, she's right," I giggle. "It does suck. Thank you Mia."

"Ana dear, you know if you need anything Carrick and I are here for you. No matter what you need, we're here," Grace hugs me tightly. I take a deep breath in, stilling the tears that are threatening to fall knowing that I can't remember the last time I had a hug like this that wasn't from Christian. A motherly hug….

"Thank you Grace, I appreciate that," she has no idea how much I really appreciate her offer and kind words. "I know Christian is consultant with Carrick about Katherine and about Jack too, although I think for right now there isn't much we can until someone finds him."

"That's why you guys are out here, instead of in Seattle," Mia says.

"Until security is improved at Escala, Christian doesn't want us returning. But I know we can't stay here forever, even if this place is absolutely beautiful."

"This is my favorite place," Grace glances around the cabin. "I thought Christian was crazy when he told me he bought the land for us. Then I thought he was even more crazy when he told me he hired an architect to design a cabin specifically for me and even hired Elliot to build it."

"Elliot built this?" I'm stunned, this place is absolutely gorgeous but I had no idea that Elliot built it.

"Elliot and I worked with the architect to design it and then Elliot's crew built it with him overseeing it every step of the way. Christian would fly out here for weekends, and the boys would stay in what is now the security cabin while with work here was being completed."

"Wow," I say.

"I tried refusing this….I told him repeatedly that he had better things to spend his money on as extravagant as this, but Christian refused to listen to me."

"I know the feeling," I giggle. "I tried to refuse the bakery-"

"Why Ana? You love that place!" Mia interrupts me.

"I do, I absolutely love everything that you're doing there and how the business is completely taken off especially since we got the website up and running, but the thought that Christian spent who knows how much money to buy me a bakery? That's frightening! And this was after the gorgeous wedding as we were flying to a secluded island in Fiji for a week. It's a crazy amount of money to even think about."

"That's what Christian does for the people he loves," Grace explains simply.

I bite my tongue, knowing that when Christian gifted me the bakery, we were far from in love. I don't doubt that he cared greatly for me, but thinks were still somewhat weird between us at that point. It's hard to believe that was only a few months ago, in a way it seems like it was much longer.

"BEEP" the timer on the oven goes off indicating that it's time to baste the turkey again.

"Well, I think our dinner is telling us that we need to get moving," Grace says. "Thank you Ana…for sharing your story with us. I know it wasn't easy for you, but we appreciate you letting us know what is really going on."

"Thank you Ana," Mia whispers as she hugs me tightly. "For trusting us and for giving me back my brother."

"Giving him back?"

"Before he met you, he hasn't smiled…in a very long time. It's nice to see Christian happy again; you've done that to him Ana. You've made him happy again. For a long time after that bitch tried to ruin his life, I didn't think I'd ever see him happy again. But you managed to do what none of us could; you broke down the barriers that he put up. He let you in when he wouldn't let anyone else in. So thank you Ana."

"I didn't…." I mumble surprised at Mia's words.

"You did," she squeezes my hand before heading into the kitchen. "Now, who needs more wine?"

I take a deep breath before joining Grace and Mia in the kitchen. I had no intention of sharing my story with them this weekend; I had just assumed that Christian had filled them in on what was going on before they arrived. When I learned he hadn't, I just felt like they needed to know the severity of everything going on. I expected it to be harder to talk about _him_ but surprisingly it wasn't. I don't know if it's because I've told the story a couple of times now or if it was because of who I was telling the story to.

"Did you still want to handle the sweet potatoes Ana?" Grace asks which is my clue to get out of my head for a little while and focus on the dinner we are preparing. There's still a couple more hours of work to do, but I have to admit I'm kind of enjoying all the work going into tonight's dinner. It'll be my first real Thanksgiving dinner. If we had one when I was younger, I definitely don't remember it.

 _Author's Note: I know this was kind of a boring chapter, but I felt like Mia and Grace needed to hear Ana's story. I thought about just putting it as Ana told them what happened without going into specifics since we already know what happened to Ana, but I felt like we needed Grace and Mia's reactions to Ana's story. I'll try to get another chapter up this week to make up for this chapter._

 _Author's Note 2: To the guest "Gemma" who doesn't believe trolls exist and that writers are lazy and use trolls as an excuse…Please log in next time you review. I'd love to read some of your stories since they must me so wonderful that the trolls don't bother with them._


	89. Chapter 89

_Author's Note: My apologies for any typos. I'm feeling under the weather and took cold medicine but I wanted to get this chapter out. It's unedited so any errors I take responsibility for._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 89 CPOV:**

"We need to come out here more often," Dad sighs as we reach the top of the mountain that overlooks the entire lake below us. The cabin can be seen just in the distance, which I find reassuring even though if something were to happen we would be too far away to do anything about it. Still, there's something reassuring about seeing the cabin where Ana is right now, knowing that she's in there with my mom and sister. And that security is watching over all of them, ensuring that nobody ruins this moment for Ana.

"Definitely," Elliot agrees. "I think it's been almost two years since I've been up here. What about you Christian? When was the last time you were here?"

 _3 years ago:_

 _"This is like camping Christian," she wines._

 _"It's not like camping Kate," I chuckle at her. "There's electricity, running water and everything you could possibly need."_

 _"But people…there's no people. No stores, no shopping no…."_

 _"It's supposed to be a relaxing weekend with my family, we don't need anything else," I sigh._

 _"You're right, of course you're right," she quickly apologizes. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."_

 _And just like that her mood was changed, but I saw her dislike of the cabin and the area throughout the entire weekend. She snubbed her nose when we asked her to go for a walk to the lake, opting instead to stay at the cabin and take a bath. When we sat outside at the fire pit that night, she complained that the bugs were eating her alive._

 _Present:_

"It's been a few years," I grumble at the memory of the last time I was here. God I was so blind then; how I didn't see what she was doing is still beyond me. She never would have volunteered to make Thanksgiving dinner; she would have all but insisted we have it catered and probably would have made me hire wait staff for the meal too. I shake my head at my own stupidity and blindness; there could be no other explanation for the fact that I stayed with her for as long as I did.

I brought _her_ to the cabin that weekend thinking it would be a good chance for her to get to know my family better. I wasn't that stupid, I knew that my family didn't _love_ her, but they were always polite and nice to her. It was always like pulling teeth to get _her_ to go to my parents for family dinners or holidays, so I thought if we joined them for a weekend at the cabin that everyone could get to know each other better and hopefully put some of the tension behind us. Boy was I wrong. We left after the first day; I told my parents something at GEH had come up that I needed to deal with on site and Taylor arranged for us to fly out the next day. He actually rented us a hotel room for that night rather than staying a second night at the cabin with everyone. I should have known in that moment that what we had wasn't real; the tension that weekend was so thick it was obvious no one was enjoying themselves. I decided to end everyone's misery and get us the hell out of there; looking back I should have realized something was wrong that weekend.

"Maybe we should come up here every Thanksgiving," Dad said. "I know this was spur of the moment and because of everything going on, but I kind of like the holiday being here where we're away from everything. Would you be able to get away from GEH every Thanksgiving Christian? Maybe not for so many days-"

"It won't be a problem," I assure him. It's been something that has been on my mind the last couple of days. I've really taken the holidays for granted; sure I showed up when my mother told me to, provided gifts and wine to go with dinner and then I left shortly afterwards to go back to Escala to work until the wee hours of the morning before I would fall asleep for a couple of hours before starting all over again. Even though GEH closed for several days at Thanksgiving and two weeks at Christmas, I continued to work. It never bothered me, it was my life.

The last two days have changed how I look at holidays though; Ana saying she can't remember having a Thanksgiving dinner kept me up at night wondering just what her holidays were like. I found myself, for the first time in years, looking forward to Christmas. I can imagine the excitement on her face on Christmas morning seeing a decorated tree with presents underneath it. It was last night that I realized I didn't even have Christmas decorations to decorate a tree with; I never put up a tree at Escala…I don't think I've had a tree up since I went to college. Yet hearing that Ana hasn't had a holiday dinner, made me want to rush out and get everything that we would need for a holiday. Last night, watching her sleep in my arms, I was overcome with a sudden urge to give her everything she never had growing up. To give her everything that her mother and grandmother robbed her of. My start in life may have been difficult, but my parents made up for it in every way possible; they ensured that all of us had everything that was denied to us as children. Until recently I never understood the fuss my mother made for holidays, these last few days though, it all clicked.

"Your mother was in heaven when you invited us out here for Thanksgiving son," Dad says. "You have no idea how much it meant to her that you didn't use everything going on as an excuse to not have Thanksgiving this year. It really touched her that you instead just moved Thanksgiving out here."

"It just seemed like the easiest solution," I shrugged not liking the sudden focus on me. When I decided that we would leave Seattle and come out here, I just told Taylor to make the arrangements to fly my family out here for the holiday as well. For once, it never occurred to me to cancel dinner plans with them.

"Well, I for one know your mother is very grateful that for what you did," he replies.

"Elliot, did you get a chance to look at the property before you left Seattle or does it need to wait-"

"I spent the morning there yesterday," he quickly interrupts me. "Other than what we already spoke about, I didn't see anything that would need to be done immediately. There were some areas ideally that I would recommend be repaired, but nothing that would need to happen immediately."

"What you are guys talking about?" Dad asks.

"I'm buying a house," I admit for the first time aloud. "I needed Elliot to look over the house before I signed the contract to ensure that the inspectors I hired didn't miss anything, but with Elliot's approval I'm going to call the realtor when we get back to and tell her to move forward with the purchase."

"Where's the house located?" he asks.

"Only a few miles from your house," I explain. "It's on the sound, but far enough away that there's still a yard between it and the house. There's some work we're going to want done as soon as possible, including installing a security gate around the entire property but I wanted Elliot to make sure nothing else needed to be completed immediately."

"The renovations we spoke about can all be handled when this mess is over," Elliot assures me. "You two go away for a week somewhere and you'll come back to the renovations completed and everything as you want it. Until things calm down though, I think just the security fence is the only immediate need."

"I bet Ana loved the house," Dad says.

"She doesn't know about it," I admit.

"What? Why? Son, she should be part of this decision!"

"It's going to be a surprise," I'm hoping this plan doesn't come back to bite me. "Everything happened so quickly…"I shiver remembering _her_ on the floor of my foyer naked with a gun. "With everything that happened, I knew we couldn't return to Escala. Not only is the security system there compromised because we don't have control over the entire building, but I don't think I can ever walk in without seeing _her_ in the foyer with a gun again. I know Ana will picture it every time we walk into Escala; so this way she never has to deal with it again."

"You probably still should have gotten her opinion on a house you're buying son," Dad says.

"If she doesn't like it, we can live there while we find another house that she does like," I have no doubt she'll love it though. "I want to surprise her with this house, which is why I didn't talk to her about it ahead of time."

"I have to agree with Christian Dad," Elliot chimes in. "Ana is going to love the house, between the huge library that it already has and the incredible view from the master bedroom, I don't see anything that Ana won't fall in love with."

"I hope you're right," he chuckles. "Your mother would kill me if I ever bought a house without her input."

We all have a good laugh because we know that's true. My mother likes her house a certain way and I doubt that Dad would pick up on all those things if he were to pick out a house for her. I think Ana is different though; maybe it's because she's never had a house of her own but I don't think she would be as particular. I also think it's different because my mom has lived in her house for so long that she knows what works and what doesn't work for her.

"If there's something with the house that Ana doesn't like, I'll just change it," Elliot says confidently and I have no doubt that he's right although I don't see it being needed. Ana isn't like that, but I know if she didn't like that way a room was laid out or where a bathroom was that all it would take is a call to Elliot to change it.

Elliot doesn't know about Ana's past, none of my family does, but ever since the incident with Charlie Tango she's held a soft spot in Elliot's heart. When I initially spoke with him about this house and mentioned the library he immediately said that it would be perfect for Ana. Although I was confident in my choice, hearing someone else confirm that Ana would like the house solidified my decision.

"Taylor feels security is adequate?" Dad asks.

"Once the security fencing is in place and the gate for the driveway, it will be," I confirm. "Taylor believes the house will be more secure than Escala as we won't be limited as to where and what type of security system we can use. We have someone on standby ready to install the fencing, gate and a perimeter security system as soon as we close on the house next week."

"Next week? Christian, usually closing takes at least a month. By the time you deal with the paperwork from the bank, the inspections, the current owner moving out-"

"The current owner already moved out. My bank is prepared to liquidate the funds within 24 hours of notification. The inspection was already completed. Personally I would prefer to close tomorrow, but with the holiday it will be pushed to next week. Once we get back to the cabin I'll email the realtor and tell her to move forward with finalizing the offer."

"That assumes the owner will accept the offer-" Dad points out.

"They'll accept," I say confidently. I'm going to offer more than the asking price just to ensure that they accept my offer.

"I'm sure Ana will love the house Christian," Dad smiles as he looks over the valley below us.

"Speaking of Ana, how about we get back to the cabin?" Elliot suggest and I look at him questioningly. "What? I'm hungry! Ana's at the house, if we go to the house, you get to see Ana and I get to eat."

Dad and I chuckle at Elliot's logic, but we all turn to head down the other trail the leads back to cabin. As we walk back, it dawns on me how much I've taken this place for granted in the years since I bought it and had the cabin built for mom. This place is breathtaking and despite everything going in right now and the reason we're here, it's been great to get away. As long as my mom and Ana agree, I plan on making Dad's idea a reality. Every Thanksgiving I'll fly everyone out here for at least the holiday but maybe for the long weekend if Mom can arrange her schedule with the hospital. GEH is closed anyway, even though I usually worked from Escala, but if something urgent came up the cabin has secure connections to allow me to work. It's funny, a year ago I wouldn't have come out here. A year ago I would have been looking for an excuse to head back to Seattle. A year ago, I would have been locked in one of the bedrooms working instead of out here hiking with my dad and Elliot. And I definitely wouldn't be thinking about flying everyone to Aspen for Christmas next month.

We make it back to the cabin in less time than it took to get to the top of the mountain; the hike down is always faster than the hike up. The security members that shadowed us on the hike see us to the cabin before taking off to go check in with Taylor. We take our muddy boots off, leaving them outside on the porch knowing that Mom will have our heads if we walk into the cabin with muddy boots on and then head inside. The scene before me almost stops me dead in my tracks; despite everything that has happened in the last few days and the still so many unanswered questions, Ana is surrounded by my mom and Mia with her head thrown back laughing. I have no idea what is so funny, and I really don't care, but I'm thankful for whatever it is that is making Ana happy right now.

"Hey baby," I circle my arms around her waist and pull her close to me.

"Hey," she turns around and kisses me. "How was your hike?"

"Refreshing," in so many different ways I realize.

"I'm glad," she smiles.

"Enough with the kissy face, is dinner done yet? I'm starving!" Elliot announces.

"Appetizers are on the table," Mia says.

"But go wash up and change your clothes first!" Mom insists.

"Yeah, you all stink," Mia scrunches her nose up.

"Wish you could wash me up," I whisper to Ana and feel the heat on her face as she hears my words.

"Later," her breath and soft lips on my ear goes straight to my dick leaving me wanting to drag her to the bathroom and saying screw everyone else. If it wasn't my parents and siblings here I just might have considered doing that.

"Later," I confirm before reluctantly leaving Ana to head to master bathroom alone.

I've stripped out of my dirty clothes, turned the hot water on in the shower and I'm about to step into the stall when I hear the ding on my phone indicating a text message. I'm tempted to ignore it, but in the off chance it's important, I decide against it and head back to the bed where my phone is waiting.

 _We've identified the connection between Ms. Kavanaugh and Hyde –Taylor._


	90. Chapter 90

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 _Author's Note: As I began to write this chapter, I looked at the bottom of the screen. This story is written as one large word document that I add to with each chapter. Guess I didn't pay much attention to it, but I was surprised this morning to realize the story is over 719 pages and has more than 333,000 words in it! Holy crap! That's a lot of words and a hell of a lot of chapters! Thank you all for sticking with me on this story._

 _I've been asked when this story will end…honestly I don't know. I plan so much of this story on a limb (I literally just decided the connection between Jack and Kate a week ago), so it's hard to know when it will end._

 _I've also been asked about Complications. At this time I will not be finishing that story. Unfortunately I did not develop the story enough when I started it beyond how Ana and Christian met and then how they would remeet. I'm stuck with that story and won't do it justice by trying to finish it now when I'm unhappy with where it is._

 **Chpt. 90 APOV:**

"It's finally quiet," Christian mumbles.

"It is, but it was nice with everyone here too," I agree.

The last couple of days have been anything but quiet with so many people here though I wouldn't change it for anything. Thanksgiving with the Greys was just amazing; we spent dinner laughing and just enjoying each other's company. When the guys retreated to the living room to watch football, Mia, Grace and I went outside and sat on the large deck with glasses of wine. Christian even started a fire in the small fire pit for us and brought blankets outside for us to use when we refused to come back inside. It was really nice just hanging out and getting to know Mia and Grace more. Of course Mia and I chat several times a week because of the bakery, but it tends to be centered on business rather than our personal lives.

I also learned a lot about Grace this weekend; although I had always felt comfortable with her since the weekend I spent at Escala when Christian was sick I felt this weekend brought us closer. Grace told talked a lot about how each of the kids were brought into their lives and how each of them reacted differently to the new environment.

 _Yesterday…._

 _"Even back then Elliot was the jokester," Grace smiles at a memory. "When we first brought him home, we expected him to be shy and uncertain but he was just the opposite. He practically bounced through the house, telling jokes that he had learned in school along the way. I remember Carrick looking at me and just laughing; he was nothing like we expected. Elliot had been removed from his home because his birth mother was unable to care for him. From the reports we read and the pictures we saw, the home was in complete disarray; no working electricity, no running water, trash everywhere and the poor kid hadn't seen a doctor or dentist in years. You think growing up in a home like that, you would be miserable, you would expect the worst, you wouldn't trust people. But that wasn't Elliot. He was such a happy little boy, and much to our surprise he adjusted right away. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop; I kept waiting for the difficulty that the social worker had told us to expect but it never came. He remained that happy little boy."_

 _"Now we just need him to find a woman that he can commit to for longer than one night," Mia jokes._

 _"Mia!" Grace's face flushes at Mia's words._

 _"I'm sure he'll find someone when he's ready," I say confidently. "And it will probably be when he least expects it."_

 _"And she'll knock him on his ass," Mia giggles._

 _"Yes, I bet she will," Grace agrees._

 _"Just like Ana knocked Christian on his ass," Mia adds._

 _"I don't know that I would say that," I disagree._

 _"I would," Grace argues. "You, my dear, did what no one has been able to do in Christian's entire life."_

 _"What's that?" I ask._

 _"You tore down every wall that he ever built to protect himself," she says simply._

 _"I didn't-"_

 _"You did," Mia interrupts._

 _"Unlike Elliot, when Christian came to us the transition to our home was…not easy. Don't get me wrong, I have never regretting bringing any of the children into our homes. I was the doctor on call when Christian was first brought in and I knew immediately that he was mine. But I also knew that it wouldn't be easy; that poor little boy had seen far too much in his short life. Even at that young age, Christian had learned that he was the only person who could protect himself. He built these walls that no one could ever penetrate. Years upon years of therapy, diagnosis after diagnosis, but the walls for the most part still remained. Some came down, he slowly let people in but no one was ever fully in. He held everyone at a distance, almost as if he was waiting for them to hurt him. But all that changed with you Ana."_

 _"I…" Well fuck, what the hell do I say? Grace just made it seem like I did something incredible, but the reality is I have no idea what I did. Christian did more for me than I've ever done for him._

 _"The first time I met you at Christian's apartment Ana I knew you were different. You not only dropped everything to essentially move into his apartment that weekend, but you took care of him-"_

 _"Anyone would have done the same thing," I insist. Although Katherine may not have, anyone with half a heart would have done the same thing for Christian had they been in my shoes. It's not like I did anything major._

 _"Maybe some people would have, but outside of us, no one in Christian's life ever had done something so selfless for him. The wall that he built, the one that prevented him from getting hurt again, also meant that he assumed the worst of most people. He assumed that anyone who would do anything for him had an ulterior motive."_

 _"And that bitch only reinforced what he believed when she tried to destroy him," the anger in Mia's voice is evident._

 _"I watched him gradually lower those walls that he fought so hard to keep up; every time he was around you they came down little by little. I'd even go as far as venturing that for the first time in far too many years, my boy is finally sleeping peacefully though the night without being reminded of what was done to him as a child."_

 _"The nightmares stopped?" Mia asks surprised._

 _"Yes," I admit quietly. "He no longer has nightmares."_

 _"That's the proof right there Ana," Grace smiles proudly as if I did something amazing. "That's the proof you're different, the proof that you've changed him; that you've done what no one else has been able to do for Christian."_

 _"I don't feel that I've done nearly as much for him as he has done for me," I admit. "Those walls you spoke of that Christian built? I had those too; I kept them up for so long after I moved to Seattle. It was the only way to protect myself, but I think the day I met Christian they started to crack. Without knowing it…he found his way through them. Perhaps together we took down each other's walls…."_

Present Day…

"When do we fly back to Seattle?" it's funny how when you're away all sense of time seems to disappear.

"Monday," Christian answers.

 _Ding_

"Taylor wants to meet," Christian sighs.

"Everything okay?" I ask; judging from Christian's voice I know something is up.

"The other day he identified the connection between Jack and…. _Katherine_ -"

"Wait! What? What's the connection?" I interrupt.

"I don't know."

"I thought you just said he identified the connection the other day?"

"He did," Christian squeezes my hand before placing a light kiss on my lips. "I didn't want to ruin your Thanksgiving…I know you haven't exactly had the greatest holidays and I wanted to give you one that you could look back on positively. I knew if we met with Taylor and learned of the connection that your day would be ruined. That when you looked back on Thanksgiving here, you would remember that."

"Christian," I whisper his name not knowing what else to say.

"I ensured there was no threat to us and that nothing could be done with the information anyway since it was in the past. Then I asked Taylor to wait until my family left to meet with us to discuss what was found."

"So you don't know?" I can't image how difficult it was for Christian to not demand answers from Taylor in that moment.

"No," he sighs. "As much as I wanted to know, I knew that the moment I learned of the connection that I would be distracted which would then distract you. This way we both got to enjoy Thanksgiving before we talk to Taylor."

"You could have-"

"No, I wanted this weekend to be special. God knows with everything that has happened you deserve it."

"This weekend was special, Christian, learning about the connection doesn't change any of it," I assure him.

"I'll tell Taylor we're ready," he quickly texts a message on his phone before setting it on the couch next to him.

"What do you think about having a camp fire tonight?" I suggest.

"A campfire?" he repeats.

"Yeah, not in the fire pit though…something bigger."

"I'm sure we can find a spot that's far enough away from the trees to make a camp fire. Why don't you want to use the fire pit?"

"I have a few things that I think we should burn and the fire pit won't be big enough."

"What are you….? OH! Are you sure?"

"Christian, I told you the other night I wanted to get rid of the contracts. Nothing has changed."

"You're sure?"

"Christian, I'm sure," I lean in, placing my lips on his and leave him no doubt that I'm confident in my decision. I know why he keeps asking me, and I'm touched that he is so considerate of what I went through, but I'm not that person any longer and I know without a doubt this is no where near the same situation. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me onto his lap so I'm straddling him. He cups my face and brings me to him, his soft lips landing perfectly on mine as my hands immediately go to his hair. Within minutes our bodies are moving against each other as the need for each other quickly takes over.

 _Knock knock_

"Damn it!" Christian hisses as he pulls away from me.

"Later," I whisper before slipping off his lap.

"That's what you said last time," Christian mumbles before getting up from the couch.

I giggle knowing Christian's still a little upset that I wouldn't let him make love to me with his brother in the room right next to us. The walls aren't very thick; I could hear Elliot's phone ding each time a text or email came through so I had no doubts that he would be able to hear me or Christian if we did anything. Christian's face when I told him no was priceless. I'm not sure anyone has ever turned down sex with that man, other than the one time I had to so we could talk about The Blue Moon.

"Mrs. Grey," Taylor nods as he enters the living room.

"Afternoon Taylor, how are you?" I ask.

"I'm good Mrs. Grey, and you?"

"Christian and I were just commenting how quiet the cabin was again now that everyone has left for Seattle."

"Ah, Sawyer and I were saying the same thing about our cabin," Taylor chuckles. "Even though one person was constantly on perimeter duty, three grown men in a cabin still gets a little crowded."

"I bet," I giggle.

"Alright Taylor," Christian takes the seat next to me and hands me a glass of wine before handing Taylor a beer. "Let's hear what you've got for us."

"It's taken a lot of digging and some work by Dr. Flynn, but we have identified the connection between Hyde and Ms. Kavanaugh," Taylor begins. "I want to first let you both know that nothing we found can be used in a court of law. Not only was the way the data was collected…less than legal, but the information we obtained is so vague that it leaves too much doubt to be used in a court of law-"

"Get on with it Taylor!" Christian snaps. "I don't give a shit about the evidence being used in court; I have no doubt when it comes to court we will have more than enough evidence to convict both of them."

"As we discussed the other day, I spoke with Dr. Flynn and he was able to speak with Ms. Kavanugh's therapist. He learned that while she continued to attend therapy and medication appointments, the therapist had grown concerned in the last couple of months about Ms. Kavanaugh's medication compliance. Apparently her symptoms had increased-"

"Symptoms?" I asked.

"While she was in prison, she had a mental health evaluation completed. They diagnosed her with bipolar disorder and had prescribed mood stabilizers for her," Christian explains.

"Dr. Flynn and the therapist had an off the record conversation, one that both would deny ever occurred if asked. It took some digging, but during one therapy session Ms. Kavanaugh discussed meeting a guy in an online chat room and admitted they had began talking off line."

"A chatroom? For what deranged exs?" Christian interrupts.

"Essentially yes," Taylor answers.

"What?" I ask.

"Once we learned this, Barney dug into Ms. Kavanaugh's online presence. While Jack was very careful and covered his steps carefully, Ms. Kavanaugh was not so smart," Taylor explains.

"No surprise," Christian grumbles.

"So how did they meet?" I ask.

"Apparently, now a days they have chatrooms for everything," Taylor says. "We've done some digging and learned that roughly seven months ago Ms. Kavanuagh joined a chatroom under a false name that…is for people who believe they were scorned by their exs."

"What the fuck Taylor? She thinks _I_ scorned her? Is she fucking nuts?" Christian is up and pacing the floor.

"It appears that way sir."

"And _he_ was in that room as well?" I ask.

"We don't have any proof, but we've tracked down conversations that Ms. Kavanaugh had and there is one individual she spoke with repeatedly; then they both left the group together."

"So this…chatroom, they just bitched about their exs?"

"Not entirely sir," Taylor's says.

"Meaning what?" Christian snaps.

"The other members of the group would give suggestions as to how they could get back at their exs," Taylor says. "Everything from how to ruin their business to how to tell their wives that they were cheating to how to falsify documents."

"Fuck."

"Of course they would both end up in this type of a room together," I sigh.

Christian immediately comes back to me, settling as close to me as possible on the couch before nodding to Taylor to continue. I grab Christian's hand, just needing to feeling anchored as Taylor continues telling us what they've managed to find. I'm still dumbfounded that _he_ would think _I_ scorned him. He's the one who beat me, left scars on me and nearly killed me! I kept up my end of the agreement; I didn't report him or leak the photos that would ruin his father's political career.

"Both members eventually moved to a private chat area where they basically compared notes about their exs…well who we believe are the two of you. No names are ever discussed, but at one point they agree to exchange photos of their exs through an anonymous website where you can download and view files. Barney suspects the photos were immediately deleted because we cannot find any proof of them."

"You're sure …it's them?" I ask.

"Yes," Taylor sighs. "It's as if they were talking in code so names were never used. But there's references made of events the two of you attended that correlate to their email exchanges."

"Did they discuss their plan? Was there a plan?" Christian asks.

"Not really. Other than meeting up once Jack arrived in Seattle, there's nothing specific. It's all very vague and talks about how neither of them can wait to get back at their ex."

"Fuck," Christian mumbles.

"What about Charlie Tango?" I ask. "Anything indicate they planned that?"

"Yes-"

"What the fuck Taylor?! You should have fucking started with that!" Christian is back up, pacing and running his hands through his hair.

"If I had sir, you would have questioned how we found the information," Taylor points out. "Again, there's nothing concrete and specific in the exchange but the dates leading up to it correlate. At one point they are discussing that they both agree that the other's ex should be dead-"

"Oh God," my land flies to my mouth as the realization that they truly wanted to kill us when Charlie Tango malfunctioned.

Like before, Christian immediately stops pacing and is next to me before I could even blink an eye.

"Maybe we should take a break-" Christian begins to suggest.

"Like hell we will," I glare at him. "We need to know what the fuck these two are up to."

"Who we believe is Jack, states that he knows someone who could solve their problem and he requests that who we believe to be Ms. Kavanaugh call him. A cell phone number was given, but it was a disposable phone that can't be tracked and hasn't been used in months. The next reference given that we believe is about Charlie Tango references a bird falling from the sky. The date coincides with the date that Charlie Tango malfunctioned."

"Jesus," I mumble.

"Fuck," Christian sighs.

"Do we know anything about what their plans were once they met up in Seattle?" I ask.

"No, unfortunately that's where the conversations seem to have moved to phones rather than emails. There's reference of them taking a trip together and driving across the country but then the emails end."

"We need to get… _Katherine_ to flip on Hyde," Christian says.

"That's what Flynn recommends as well," Taylor says. "However both he and her therapist believe the best way for this to occur is with your assistance sir-"

"ME?! Are you all fucking crazy? She broke into my apartment with a fucking gun wanting to kill us and you want me to go see her?"

"With all due respect sir," Taylor begins. "Flynn and Ms. Kavanaugh's therapist believe she is obsessed with you and that it's possible to use that obsession to get her to disclose what the plan was or at the very least where Hyde is."

"Fuck!"

"There's been no siting of him?" I ask.

"Unfortunately not yet, Mrs. Grey," Taylor confirms what I already knew. "We're continuing to look for him; finding him is everyone's only priority."

"When do we do this?" Christian asks.

"As soon as possible sir-" Taylor suggests.

"We'll fly out in the morning," Christian interrupts. "Make the arrangements."

"Of course sir."

"Taylor?" Christian says as Taylor gest up from the couch.

"Sir?"

"Ana and I are going to spend some time outside this evening," Christian glances at me for confirmation and I immediately nod reassuring him that nothing has changed. "We're going to have a camp fire probably once the sun goes down."

"Yes sir," Taylor nods.

"There's a spot down by the boathouse that we've used with my dad when we went fishing, that we'll probably use."

"I don't see an issue with that sir," Taylor confirms.

"Why don't you and Sawyer join us for burgers and hot dogs tonight Taylor?" I suggest.

"That's not necessary-" Taylor begins to refuse.

"Something tells me that wasn't really a questions," Christian chuckles when he sees the glare I give Taylor.

"We'll eat outside so you guys can keep an eye on everything," I say.

"Yes ma'am," Taylor reluctantly agrees. "Sawyer and I appreciate the offer."

Christian's arms are around me, pulling me closer to him as I vaguely hear Taylor leave the cabin. My arms go around his back, holding him to me just as much as he is holding me to him. Of all the ways for Katherine and _him_ to be connected, this was not what I was expecting. I assumed one of them sought the other out; I honestly expected it to hear that. So this….this is not what I was prepared for.

 _Author's Note: what did you think of how Kate and Jack knew each other?_


	91. Chapter 91

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 91 CPOV:**

I have to say, tonight surprised me. At Ana's insistence, we grilled burgers and hot dogs on the grill on deck and had a quiet meal with Taylor and Sawyer. Sawyer didn't stay but for a few minutes, since there's only the two of them now he had to be on border patrol. Both Sawyer and Taylor weren't entirely comfortable with both of them joining us for dinner however Ana made it clear that it wasn't an option for them not to join us. We ate, laughed and for just a few minutes forgot about everything we going on. For just a few minutes there was no _Katherine_ , Jack or any of the other problems waiting for us back in Seattle. Before leaving us for the night, Taylor started a small fire near the lake not far from the boathouse where I proposed to Ana only a few days ago.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask as we walk down to the fire with the contracts in hand.

"Yes Christian," she giggles no doubt because I've asked her this questions far too many times in the last couple of days. She's given me no reason to doubt that this is what she wants, but I can't help but ask again…and again and again. This is a big step for her and I wouldn't blame her in the slightest if she ended up changing her mind. Would I be disappointed if she changed her mind? Of course I would, but I would also know that given everything she has been through she would want some security.

"Let's do this," Ana squeezes my arm that she's been holding onto as we walk down to the fire. The confidence in her voice immediately sets my mind at ease. This simple act truly represents how far we've come; it wasn't that long ago that the only way Ana would agree to stay in the apartment at Escala is if we had a written agreement stating she could stay after our arrangement ended. Tonight, any evidence of our previous agreement ends.

When we reach the edge of the fire, I place the box with both contracts on one of the chairs that Taylor and Sawyer had brought over here earlier in the day. I wrap my arms around Ana's waist and pull her against me as we both watch the flames for a few minutes. The air is cool, but the heat coming from the fire instantly warms the air immediately surrounding us. Despite knowing that Taylor and Sawyer aren't far away, when I'm out here with Ana in my arms it truly feels as if we're the only two people here.

"It's so quiet out here," Ana says.

"That it is."

"Your mom told me how you bought this property for her and had Elliot build her the cabin."

"It was the least I could do," I sigh uncomfortable with the sudden focus on me. "She rescued us, all of us, and never asked for anything in return. She could have left me at the foster home, she could have turned me over to the state when my nightmares would wake the entire house up at night or when I was so petrified of being alone with Carrick that she could never leave. She didn't; not once did she give up on any of us. I wanted to pay her back…for everything she did for us. This is no way pays her back, but family is so important to her – it gives her the place to bring everyone together away from Seattle."

"She really liked having everyone here for Thanksgiving," Ana confirms.

"My dad did too. He suggested we have Thanksgiving here every year."

"That would be nice. I like it here; so far away from everything. It's like a little escape from reality," she sighs. "Do you feel that way when you go to your cabin in Aspen?"

"I always brought work with me when I went there, so it wasn't a complete break from reality but it was always nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city."

I pull Ana into one of the chairs with me, she giggles as she falls into my lap resting her head on my chest. I have no idea how long we sit there, just watching the fire but once again it feels like we're the only ones out here. Like no one else exists, like there are no other problems in the world. I can't wait to put this mess with Hyde and _her_ behind us. So we can move forward; so we can move into the new house and begin to plan our wedding. But for now, I sit comfortably with her soft body pressed firmly against mine, her arm wrapped around my stomach and the smell of her sweet shampoo surrounding me.

"One day, when we're here completely alone, I want to make love to you out here…under the stars," I whisper.

"Mmmm…sounds beautiful," she says and cuddles closer to me.

If Taylor and Sawyer weren't patrolling the area, I lay her down on the soft grass and make love to her next to the fire. Even though I know Taylor and Sawyer would both leave the area immediately, I can't risk either of them seeing her beautiful body or hearing those sounds that she makes when I'm inside of her. Just thinking about those sounds has my dick twitching, slowly rising which of course is not helped by Ana sitting on my lap.

"You ready?" Ana asks.

"Yes," in so many different ways even though I know right now her question is about the reason we're out here tonight in front of burning fire. "Are you?"

"Yes," the firmness in her voice makes me smile. She may have told me over and over again that she wants to do this but I still worry she'll change her mind at the last minute.

Ana makes the first move, slipping off my lap and moving to the table next to us to take hold of the box that contains the only copies of the prenup. She reaches out her hand to me, which I immediately take and we walk towards the fire together. She opens the top of the box, casually tossing it into the fire before taking out the top copy of the contract.

"To new beginnings," she smiles up at me, her eyes filled with love and hope. With both of our hands on the contract, we toss it into the fire watching as the papers immediately light up. The second copy of the prenup and the contract allowing Ana to stay in the condo following our contract with Elena go into the fire next. When nothing remains in the box, she tosses that too into the fire; I immediately wrap my arms around Ana's waist and pull her close to me holding her as we watch the contract that once defined who we were to each other go up in flames.

"Is it weird?" Ana asks quietly a few minutes later.

"Is what weird?"

"I thought it would feel different….that not having the contract would somehow feel different, but it doesn't."

"I think….at least for me…." I stumble trying to come up with the right words to describe what I'm trying to say. "That contract stopped existing a long time ago…."

It's true…I can't remember a time after those first couple of weeks of Ana living with me and us getting married when I thought about the contract. Everything changed on our honeymoon, but I think it started changing long before then. In the back of my head was the constant reminder that I had put a time frame on our marriage, but I think I wanted to ignore it rather than worry about it which is very unlike me. With GEH if something is worrying me, I deal with it immediately. I don't let it draw out and risk it becoming a larger issue. With Ana and our contract, I knew I didn't want it to end in two years but I had no idea what I wanted beyond that. I was too scared to even think about tearing up the contract. But then, walking into Escala the other day, everything changed. Things could have ended very differently and I knew in that moment that something needed to change.

"I think you're right," Ana whispers pulling me from the memory of walking into to see _her_ on my foyer floor holding a gun.

"What do you say we go inside?" I ask.

"What about the fire? Shouldn't we wait until it's completely out? Make sure the embers don't land on a pile of leaves or something?"

"I'll have Taylor put it out," I chuckle before pulling out my phone to send the text.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I lead Ana back to the cabin. We both stop to kick off our shoes on the deck before heading straight to the master bedroom. Ana's arms are around my neck before the door even closes, her soft lips find mine before my hands even get to her. I groan I feel her tongue against my lips, loving how bold she is tonight. Without taking my lips off of hers, I reach between us and undo the button and zipper on her jeans pushing them down as far as I can reach. Obviously Ana is thinking the same thing when I feel her hands at my zipper. Pulling back ever so slightly, I lift my shirt over my head before taking hers off as well. We both giggle as we struggle to get our legs out of the jeans that are now around our ankles but within minutes we're both naked.

I pull her body against mine, loving how her breasts are crushed against my chest. My erection is between us and I can feel the heat coming off of her. I could plunge right into her, right now and would probably come within seconds. Even though I had every intention of taking my time with Ana tonight, worshipping her beautiful body and showing her how much I love her, I know that I'm too far gone for that right now. Having been denied being inside of Ana these last couple of days, I feel ready to burst from just having her body pressed against mine.

"I need you," Ana moans when I pull her against my dick.

"I'm not going to last….it's been too long," I shamefully admit.

She doesn't answer with words; she grasps my erection and places it in between her legs right at her sex. I groan when I feel her wetness against me, in a way thrilled that I'm not the only one so gone right now. I nearly come when she adjusts herself so my head slips into her; the angle doesn't allow for full penetration but God just being in her this little bit is nearly enough to push me over that edge.

"Please," Ana moans in need.

The bed across the room, while the chaise lounge is just a few feet away. Even though I know I should take her to the bed, I opt for the chair reason being it's the closest surface I could use to get us what we both so desperately want. I vow the next time I'll have her laid out on the bed, underneath me as I completely worship her body.

I grasp her ass, lifting her so she wraps her legs around my waist. My aching dick is between us, pressed between my stomach and her sex. She groans when I hold her tight against me as I walk the few feet to the chair; with her arms around my neck she rubs clit against me causing us both to gasp. Before I can reach the chair, Ana reaches between us grasping my dick in her hand, raising herself up she positions me at her opening. Her eyes meet mine as she slowly lowers herself onto me, moaning when I feel myself bump against her cervix.

"God you feel amazing Ana."

"So close…" she admits.

I gently sit down on the chair, making sure to never break our connection. Lifting my legs up until the lounge pushes me even further into Ana and we both groan at the same time, as she grips me unbelievably tight. With my hands holding tightly onto her hips, I urge Ana to move, knowing if she doesn't move soon I'm going to come simply from the feeling of her body sucking me in and holding me there. Thankfully, Ana grips my shoulders and begins moving against me. Our eyes don't leave each other; no words are needed between us right now. So much has changed in the last few days , yet so much still remains the same.

When I feel Ana tightening around me I know she's close, the moment she falls over that ledge I'm going to fall right with her. When her eyes close, she leans closer to me as her movements become more purposeful yet uncoordinated. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her close to me before bending my legs to plant my feet on the chair.

"Oh God!" she gasps when I take control, thrusting deep into her as she holds onto me tightly. Her walls are convulsing around me, sucking me into her every time I try to pull out and it takes everything in me not to empty myself into her but I'm determined that Ana come first.

"Fuck Ana you feel…." I mumble.

"With me…Come with me Christian," her words are my undoing and I fall right over that edge thankfully taking her right with me. She continues to move against me, riding out the last few waves of orgasm as I try to catch my breath. When her orgasm finally subsides, she rests her head on my shoulder and I feel her body relax against mine. My hands lazily explore her body, touching her everywhere that I can reach.

"I missed you," I whisper.

"I missed you too," she says.

"Let's go to bed," I suggest a few moments later when I feel Ana's body begin to get heavy.

"No, let's stay right here," I chuckle but don't move letting her fall asleep laying on top of me with my softening dick still buried deep inside of her. Logically, I know we should move to the bed that is on the other side of the room as I'm sure it would be much more comfortable than this lounge would be. But when Ana lets out a soft moan against my neck, any thought of moving disappears. I grab the throw blanket off the back of the chair and wrap it around Ana wanting to ensure she doesn't get chilly before I close my eyes and let sleep take me away.

 _Author's Note: It's short...but the next chapter won't be. It's been a quiet trip for our couple, but in the next chapter they return to Seattle._


	92. Chapter 92

_Author's Note: This chapter is LONG and unedited. I apologize for any errors._

 _All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 92 CPOV:**

My leg is bouncing, my hands are shaking as I think about seeing _her_ again. I'm filled with anger, rage, frustration and so many other emotions that I can't even name. As I look out the window as the scenery passing us by, I know we'll be arriving at the county jail in only a few minutes. This is the last place I want to be going; I'd give anything to be back at my parent's cabin where I woke up only a few hours ago with the woman I love in my arms.

 _Earlier that day…_

 _The sun shining through the sliding glass doors pull me from the deep sleep I was in although when I feel the heavy weight on my chest I no longer mind being woken up this early. At Ana's instance, we slept on the chaise lounge last night after we made love. My intention was to let her fall asleep and then move us into the bed that was across the room, but before I knew it I fell asleep too. Ana's face is buried next to my neck, her soft breath teasing me with every breath. The blanket I had wrapped around us slipped off of Ana, so I quickly reach down and draw it over her. With her warm, naked beautiful body simply lying on me, I'm overwhelmed with the need to touch her. It's as if I can't not touch her. I slowly run my hands over her back, and almost instantly she presses her chest against mine as if she's trying to get closer to me. My hardening dick apparently has the same idea as it rises against the warmth of her sex; I let out a quiet groan when I feel wetness coating my dick. I don't know what it is, but knowing that the evidence from my orgasm last night is still inside of Ana is incredibly arousing._

 _A quick glance at the clock confirms that it's early and that we should probably continue to sleep for a couple of more hours knowing that we have a long day ahead of us. No matter what I do though, I can't get my mind off the beautiful woman lying on my chest who just last night literally burned the document that once meant so much to her. I'll never forget the day we sat in my office negotiating the contract; it seems like ages ago that Ana sat next to me asking me to add a certain clause to the contract because she didn't fully trust herself and her own judgment. I knew adding that clause had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the bastard who fucked with her life and nearly killed her. I knew that deep down she knew that I would never harm her; but I also knew that because of what that fucker did to her she felt she couldn't trust anyone even herself._

 _Yet last night, any evidence of a contract went up in flames. I wrap my arms around Ana and hold her against me, loving how far we have come since that day in my office. I nearly chuckle when I remember the other change that Ana requested with the contract that day. When Ana asked that I remove the extramarital affair from the contract I was convinced I was agreeing to at least 18 months of celibacy. Yet here I lay with Ana's naked body on mine, her warm breath on my neck and her beautiful breasts pressed against my chest._

 _Ana suddenly presses her chest against mine; her arms come up to rest on my shoulders as she presses the rest of her body against mine even further. My once hardening dick is now at full attention having rubbed against her sex as she moved. The warmth and wetness cotes me, enticing me, making me want her even more than I already do. With the limited space I have to move, I slowly rock myself back and forth, letting my erection rub against her lips with each movement. Ana lets out a pleasurable moan; I love knowing that even in her sleep Ana responds to me._

 _Gently lifting Ana's hips from mine, I reach between us, grasping my throbbing dick and slide it through Ana's sex. I softly rub her clit which immediately has her body tensing slightly. I place myself just at her opening while I continue to tease her clit; Ana moans and starts breathing faster as her body responds._

 _"Christian…." she whispers and I swear I nearly come right there. Knowing that she is thinking of me, of only me right now turns me on even more which I didn't think was possible. God, what this woman does to me…_

 _Needing to be buried deep inside of Ana, I abandon her clit and slowly feed my erection into her warm, wet center. Even though all I want to do is thrust into her, hard and deep, I don't want to hurt her so I take it slow. However it seems I'm not the only one in need because Ana unexpectedly quickly pushes her hips down, hard and fast until they are pressed against mine._

 _"Morning," she lifts her beautiful body up until our eyes meet. She smiles seductively at me before lifting herself up and slowly letting her body slide down until she's completely taken me._

 _"Morning beautiful," I moan as she slowly grinds herself against me. "I could get used to waking up like this."_

 _"You're awake awfully early," she slowly moves against me, her eyes never leaving mine._

 _"It's hard to sleep with a beautiful woman pressed against me…" I admit._

 _Despite our quick start, we take our time, neither of us in any hurry as we slowly bring each other right to the edge. When her arms tire of holding herself up, she rests her head on my shoulder, raising her hips allowing me enough room to take over. Continuing the pace she set, I slowly thrust in and out of her warm body as her hands roam over my chest. Never having thought this was possible, I love the way Ana's hands feel on me. The slow burn quickly becomes too much and as much as I would love to continue this way, my body is craving more. I begin thrusting faster and deeper, needing to bring Ana over that edge before I fall. Planting my feet on the chase, the new angle allows me to thrust further into Ana. Her moans are all the answer I need when I wonder if she's teetering on the same edge._

 _"Baby…look at me," I beg when I can't hold back the orgasm any longer._

 _Her eyes filled with passion, need, desire and love find mine and immediately I know she's right there with me. Her hands move back to my shoulders and she begins riding me, meeting me thrust for thrust as we both fall over the edge together._

 _"I love you," Ana whispers as she collapses onto my chest, her body still twitching around me._

 _"I love you too," my arms wrap around her holding her tight against me wishing we could just stay here forever._

Present Day…

"Sir, we've arrived," Taylor pulls me from reliving how I woke up to Ana only a few hours ago. The raging hard on I had from remembering making love to Ana this morning quickly disappears as I look at the bleak prison sitting in front of us. I take a deep breath and step outside, truly dreading what is about to happen. If there were any other way around this, I wouldn't be here. I've spoken to both my Dad and Dr. Flynn, both agree this is the only option to get the answers we want and quickly. They will both be observing the meeting along with Taylor, but Flynn felt it was best that no one be in room with us. Taylor wasn't happy about that, but when I pointed out that she'll be in handcuffs and shackled to the table he reluctantly agreed with the plan.

 _The plan_ ….what a joke for what is about to occur. Essentially I need to find a way to get her to open up and tell us everything. Most importantly, we need to figure out how much of Jack Hyde's plans she knows. That is the only reason I'm here; if this were just about me I wouldn't have wasted my time. But with Jack Hyde in the picture, this is no longer about me. All those months ago when I found Ana crying in fear in the bed from her nightmare, I promised her that Jack Hyde would never hurt her again. With him in Seattle now this visit may be the only thing that can help me keep my promise to Ana.

"You ready Christian?" Flynn asks as we go through the intake process at the prison. Taylor arranged a private meeting and screening area with security so we can try to minimize the chance of the press learning of my being here today. I take a moment before answering Flynn to wrap my head around what I'm about to do. I need to think about this as a business transaction; I am simply here to gather information. I need to keep my anger and hatred for her out of the visit today or Flynn warned me that she will likely shut down completely without giving us anything. Flynn and I have rehearsed several different possibilities on how the meeting could go today, but the reality is that we're pretty much winging it since we have no idea what she is going to say. We don't know what she knows about Jack Hyde's plans or even if what he told her is going to be true. But, we need to try. As much as I hadn't wanted to see her all those years ago or after seeing her naked in my penthouse, I'm here. I'm here for Ana.

"I'm ready," the CEO mask that Roz says I put on before a big meeting is firmly in place. I'm on a mission and I will not fail.

"The prisoner is being escorted in, it will only be another moment while we secure her," the warden confirms.

"You've heard from Sawyer and Johnson?" I ask Taylor.

"Yes, Mrs. Grey has not left the condo and has had no visitors," he confirms.

I wanted Ana here with me; I didn't want her alone at Escala, not that she's really alone but still. I figured how much safer could she be than inside a prison? Of course she wouldn't be in the room with me during the meeting, but still she would be safe here right? Taylor argued that it was safer to keep her at Esala until we know what is really going on. I've warned him though, after today I'm done putting my life on hold. I need to return to GEH this week; I will not let this bitch control my life for one more minute. She did enough of that after she tried to destroy me, I won't let her do it again. So before we returned home today, Taylor made some changes. We're no longer at the penthouse; we're now staying in the condo that Ana moved into after her apartment was broken into. Since the apartment doesn't have a separate entrance to the servant's quarters there's only one entrance to secure. There are two guards posted outside of the apartment door at all times. Gail and Taylor are staying in a smaller condo that we were able to secure at the last minute just a few doors down from us. We now have two CPOs per person when we leave Escala. When GEH reopens this week, I will be there with extra security posted at all entrances. Business dinners, functions and events are still being discussed as Taylor reviews the security for each venue before we decide whether or not to attend. With Christmas approaching I have several invitations, however I'm letting Taylor decide which if any Ana and I attend. If I need to miss a few dinners and events, I won't complain – I hate them anyway.

"The recording equipment is in place and ready to go," Taylor confirms. "Just remember, nothing we obtain-"

"I know, I know," rolling my eyes as we approach my father who is waiting ahead of us. He absolutely refused to allow recording equipment in the meeting today; without offering Katherine the right to have her lawyer present we can't use anything she provides in court or it would be immediately thrown out. Understanding his point, Taylor and I decided against following his advice. I'm wearing recording pieces that will transmit every word spoken back to Barney who is seeing that it is backed up to prevent it from suddenly "disappearing." Our goal is not court, I'm not worried about getting evidence to put Hyde or Katherine away. My lawyers will see that justice is served. Recording today's session is to ensure that we don't miss something that is said that could give us a clue to where Hyde is or what his plan is. Because we know my father doesn't agree with it, we've chosen not to tell him. This way if anyone does find out he can honestly state he had no idea we were recording the meeting.

"You ready son?" my dad asks as we approach.

"I'm ready," I answer confidently. It's true…I may not want to be here, but I'm ready. I'll do whatever it takes to keep Ana safe and if that means facing _her_ than I'll do it.

"Remember Christian, play into her obsession of you. As much as you're not going to want to, let her believe that if she helps you she'll have a chance with you. It's the only lavage you have over her," Flynn reminds me.

"I know," I reply before taking a deep breath and following the warden into the room. Sitting at the table, hands cuffed to the top of the table is Katherine…thankfully this time she is at least fully dressed.

"Christian!" She gives me a huge smile and even tries to stand up to greet me before remembering she is attached to the table.

"Sit down or you will be taken back to your cell," the warden reminds her and Katherine immediately sits back in the chair but still smiles at me. She actually looks thrilled to see me I realize…and I'm forced to remind myself that I'm here to play a roll.

"Katherine, how are you? Are they treating you okay?"

"Oh, it's not so bad," she shrugs. "I'm hoping I won't be in here that much longer."

Thankfully her bail was denied as they deemed her a flight risk considering she left New York and returned to Seattle. I have no idea why she thinks she won't be here much longer considering we don't even have a prelimary court date yet. But rather than argue with her, I just smile and nod in agreement sticking to the plan of staying on her good side to get the information.

"I didn't know you were coming today," she looks down at her chipped nails shaking her head. "They didn't even tell me I had a visitor until a few minutes ago and then they wouldn't tell me who it was."

"Don't worry about it, you look great," I lie.

"Aw thanks Christian," she beams. "You always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better even if it couldn't be further from the truth. So….what brings you here? Not that I'm complaining of course, because I love that you came to see me…"

"I wanted to see you to try to understand what happened at my apartment last week," I carefully chose my words not letting her know that I'm after the overall goal or that I know about Hyde.

"What do you mean what happened?! You were there!" she suddenly seems angry and I know I need to bring her back down if I'm going to get any information from her.

"I was there, yes," I keep my voice steady and calm. "But you know how much I hate guns and violence Katherine, yet you brought one into my home."

"I knew you wouldn't be happy about the gun," she sighs. "But he said it was the only way…"

"Who said that was the only way?"

"No one."

"I was very disappointed that you brought the gun into my home," the words are forced because disappointed is probably the least accurate word to describe how I felt that day but Flynn carefully chose that word thinking it would have the largest impact on how Katherine viewed my reaction to the incident.

"I know," her head hangs down the anger from earlier completely gone. "I knew you always hated guns; I knew you wouldn't want one in your apartment."

"But you still brought one in; why?"

"He said it was the only way," she whispers.

"It was the only way for what?" I try a different tactic. I don't need her to name Hyde; we know he was there that night.

"To get you to realize…"

"To realize?"

"To realize that I was right!" she suddenly exclaims loudly. "He said you wouldn't take me seriously if I didn't. I had to make you see….make you realize that I was right about _her."_

"What were you right about _her_?" Flynn told me not to say Ana's name unless Katherine said it first as it could make her angrier. It's killing me sitting here listening to how she is talking about Ana as if Ana is in the wrong here.

"That she isn't what you need! Didn't you listen to me Christian?" she's practically screaming at me now.

"I'm sorry," I immediately apologize. "You were right about her; you made me see what I was blind to all along. She's not what I need."

"She can't be! She can never be the type of wife you need! If she couldn't keep him happy, how could she ever keep you happy? You're so much more….you have so many more needs than he does."

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out, trying to reign in the anger in before I explode on her and ruin the only chance we have a finding Hyde or at least finding out what his plan is. What I really want to do is tell her how wrong she is about Ana; that Ana is exactly what I need and that I couldn't be happier. But I don't; instead I take another deep breath and try to relax my body so Katherine doesn't see that her anger towards Ana is affecting me.

"If she couldn't keep him happy, why does he want her back?" I ask.

"He doesn't….well not really."

"Oh?"

"She can't keep you happy; she can't make you happy the way I could. Why should you suffer because of her? With her out of the picture, I could make you happy again. Like I made you happy before," she smiles almost seductively at me.

"Were you going to kill her that night?" I almost don't want to know the answer.

"No! I'm not a murderer Christian! I would think you know me better than that!"

"You're right, I do. The gun just must have freaked me out," because if you didn't intend to kill someone why would you bring a gun into the apartment.

"I told you, I needed you to realize I was serious. I needed you to see what I knew all along."

"So you weren't going to hurt her?"

"I would have hurt her if she tried to hurt you! Or if she tried to hurt me of course. But I wasn't allowed...I couldn't kill her. Only hurt her."

Interesting…so Hyde's plan wasn't to kill me or Ana that night. But to injure Ana…what the fuck is it with this bastard getting off on hurting her?

"You said he doesn't really want her."

"He doesn't."

"Now that we're not together-"

"You're not?" her surprised eyes immediately find mine.

"No, I told you I realized that night that you were right. That she wasn't enough for me; that she couldn't make me happy," I lie and it absolutely kills me to say the words. I have to keep reminding myself that this is all an act. Ana and I talked on the plane ride home and before I left Escala about what I was going to have to say and do to try to get the truth from her.

"You realized," there are actual fucking tears in her eyes as she takes in my words. Fuck! How did I not see how messed up she was all along?

"Yes, you made me see what I couldn't see before. You did that."

"I knew one of those ways would work eventually. I knew you would see that you needed me all along."

"You tried other ways? I must have been blind to those too…"

"I tried so hard, so many times to get you to realize that you needed me back."

"I didn't hear from you after…"

"No, I couldn't. They said I couldn't talk to you or see you again, so I tried other ways."

"Other ways?"

"I tried to make you see that you needed me by your side. You needed me to make you look good."

"To look good…" FUCK!

"So you wouldn't lose your business. You needed me by your side so you could keep GEH going strong."

"You weren't involved with GEH though."

"Silly! You needed me to attend all those functions you hated so much so people wouldn't think you had a problem running GEH."

FUCK. I knew she was behind it!

"The reporters…all those articles written about me not being able to keep a woman happy…"

"Exactly! You needed me!"

"That's how you tried to show me I needed you." I'm going to fucking kill her.

"You see now right?! You see how I tried-"

"Yes you did try," I cringe trying and failing at keeping my anger under control.

"You seem angry….are you mad at me?"

"No, mad at myself for not seeing it sooner," that's not an entire lie. I always suspected she was behind the tabloids but I had no way to prove it.

"It's over now, that's all that matters. And as soon as you drop the charges against me we can be free to be together again!"

"Except we still need to deal with her."

"Oh, he'll take care of her, don't worry."

"He's going to take care of her?"

"With you out of the picture he'll be able to get to her a lot easier. He couldn't figure out how to get around your security guys. But he said once you ended things with her the security would end and then he could get to her easier."

"I'm confused…if she didn't make him happy why would he want her back?"

"Because no one else should have her," she shrugs. "I don't get it either but he says if he can't have her than no one can."

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

"Do you know what he's going to do with her?"

"No," she looks at me for a moment. "But why do you care? I thought you weren't with her any longer?"

"I'm not," I insist. "But just because we're not together doesn't mean I want to see her harmed."

"After what she did to him, she deserves it."

"What did she do to him?"

"She embarrassed him! He would take her to dinners with his business partners and she would flirt with everyone! She was constantly embarrassing him at work or different functions. She doesn't know how to act in our world Christian! How could someone like that fit into your world? Can't you see why she wouldn't be right for you?"

"You're right…"

"Five minutes," the warden opens the door to alert us.

"I can't believe the hour is already up! I feel like you just got here," she whines. "Please tell me you'll come back!"

"Of course I will," when hell freezes over.

"Good."

"How can I contact him?"

"Why? Why would you want to contact him?"

"So I can tell him how to reach her."

"Oh he'll know. He's going to watch her and wait for the security to be dropped so he could get close to her."

"And then what?"

"I don't know. Why should I care what he does with her? With her out of the picture, I can focus on making you happy and showing you why you shouldn't have let me go the first time."

"He must be staying in Seattle somewhere."

"He got a room at a motel. It's not like anything you would ever stay in. I felt dirty the second I walked into the room."

"Doesn't sound like it's near Escala at all," I try to get more information from her in the limited time we have left.

"No, not at all," she giggles. "It took us awhile to get to Escala that night. He did the drive a few times and said that without traffic it would take 33 minutes to get there. But that night it took 36 because of a road closure. He was not happy about that!"

"I bet he wasn't."

I doubt that is much of anything, but it might give Taylor an idea of where to start to find Hyde. I rack my brain trying to find ways to ask for more information about Hyde without her becoming too suspicious.

"Are you going to see him again?"

"Are you jealous?" she winks. "No. I wasn't allowed to see him after the….that night."

"Good, I don't like you with him."

"I never you knew to be jealous Christian," because I was never jealous when it came to you bitch.

"I've changed," in more ways than you'll ever know.

"Maybe the time apart was good. It made you realize just how much you needed me."

"Maybe."

"I can make you happier than she ever could. I know what you need both in and outside of GEH. You'll never have to worry about me embarrassing you or not knowing how to act in certain situations. With her gone you'll never have to worry about her again. She won't be able to do anything to hurt you."

"Time's up."


	93. Chapter 93

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

 **Chpt. 93 APOV:**

"Thanks again for spending the afternoon with me Gail, you really didn't need to spend the day here," I say as we walk towards the door.

"Nonsense, Ana. I didn't have anything going on today anyway," she hugs me goodbye before leaving. "Jason says they just left so Mr. Grey should be home to you soon."

Gail and I spent the day baking; we tried new recipes for muffins and even a few for cookies as I anxiously waited for Christian to get back from his meeting with….her. I needed to do something while he was gone, so I started baking. Cooking and baking relaxes me and it took my mind off of worrying was Christian was or was not finding out during his meeting. I heard from him once when the meeting ended; he texted me to let me know he was leaving the prison but needed to stop by The Mile High Club on his way home to check on business. I asked him how the meeting went but he didn't respond; not that I was surprised. I knew after seeing her again he would need time to process anything that was said. If Gail wasn't here with me and texting Taylor, I would have been a nervous wreck because it's been a few hours since Christian texted me. I wanted to text him again but if he was busy I didn't want to bother him. Thankfully Taylor texted Gail and let her know that he was with Christian at the club and then let us know when they were leaving.

"Honey! I'm home!" Christian announces loudly as he stumbles into the living room with Taylor next to him, sort of guiding him to the couch.

"Christian?" I'm in disbelief that the man before me is the CEO who is always so in control of everything around him. The man in front of me looks like he's had way too much to drink.

"Ana….I've missed you. Come sit with me," he pats the couch heavily next to him after he plops down.

"Mrs. Grey, would you mind if I got a bottle of water from the fridge?" Taylor asks eyeing the kitchen.

"Of course not, let me help you," I lead Taylor to the kitchen to the farthest side of it so I could ask him what the hell happened.

"What-" I start.

"This is his way of dealing," he shrugs.

"I thought you guys were at the club?"

"We were. He met with some of the staff and then sat alone in the VIP area ordering drink after drink. I think he needed to drown out the meeting with her."

"Did you….did she say anything?"

"Not really. We have a couple of leads that we're going to follow up on," Taylor is purposefully vague.

"Is Christian okay?" I ask not referring to his obvious drunk state.

"I think the alcohol helped," he shrugs. "That woman….she's….really something."

"That bad?"

"Oh yeah."

"Ana! Where are you?" Christian calls from the living room.

"Thanks for bringing him home Taylor."

"Of course. Try and get him to drink as much water as possible, it'll help lessen the chance of a hangover in the morning."

"I will."

"There you are!" Christian stands and sways a little as Taylor and I enter the room.

"Have a good night, sir," Taylor says as he walks towards the door.

"Who's on tonight?" Christian asks.

"Sawyer is at the entrance," Taylor confirms. "Rennolds is on call."

"Good."

I can't help but chuckle; even in Christian's drunken state he is still worried about our safety. As Taylor leaves, I set the deadbolt and turn on the alarm knowing that we're not going to be leaving the apartment at all tonight.

"Are you hungry-"

"Yes."

"I can make something for dinner if you'd like. Gail and I already ate-"

Christian pulls me onto his lap as soon as I get close to him. I'm straddling his thighs, facing him as his arms wrap around my hips.

"I want you for dinner Ana," before I can respond he pulls me closer to him until his lips find mine. His tongue immediately searches out mine as he his hands roam my entire body. I can feel his erection through my thin yoga pants as he grinds himself against me. My shirt and bra are on the floor in a matter of minutes; Christian's shirt follows shortly afterwards.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he moves towards the end of the couch before standing up, carrying me as he walks out of the living room.

"I told you….I want you for dinner," my face blushes as he sets me down on the dining room table. He pulls my ass to the edge of the table before gently urging me to lay down. My arms automatically come across my eyes, embarrassment hits me as the thought of being completely naked on the table. Christian quickly removes my yoga pants and panties in one fast move.

"Oh God," when I hear a chair moving across the floor I open my eyes just enough to see Christian sitting himself right between my legs. My initial reaction is to close my legs, as I know in this position he can see everything. Christian's hands are firm on my thighs as if he senses my discomfort, instead he holds me open and moves closer to me.

"You're beautiful Ana…every part of you is breathtaking," Christian kisses my legs, slowly moving from my knee to my thigh before switching to the other leg and repeating the same movements. When he reaches my thigh this time, he slowly runs his tongue through my folds before flicking my clit causing me to jump. I moan loudly, any sense of embarrassment about being on display for Christian are long gone as I instead focus on what Christian is doing to me. The light movements of Christian's tongue continue to tease me, increasing my desire until I'm practically begging for more. I'm moaning, loudly, I'm sure until Christian finally gives me what I need.

"God!" I scream out when, without warning, Christian's mouth latches onto my sex ravishing me.

"I love the way you taste," he mumbles against me. "I could do this every day and never grow tired of your taste."

I blush at the bluntness of his words before moaning when his fingers join the exploration of my body. He's nibbling, sucking and licking at me as his fingers slowly move in and out of my body. It's as if he wants to take his time, as if he has nowhere in the world to be right now with nothing else to do but this right now. However when he takes my clit between his teeth, nipping at it slightly I nearly jump off the table. He immediately soothes it with his tongue, only to then take it back into his mouth and suck on it which pushes me right over the edge. I come, loudly screaming holding his head against me not wanting him to stop. He slowly brings me down from my orgasm, before standing up and slowly pushing himself into me.

He wraps my legs around his wait before leaning over me and taking my breasts in his hands. We both groan when he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, me because it sends an immediate jolt to my sex and him because I tighten around him. His movements are quick, but purposeful as he pushes us both towards a release.

"I love being inside of you Ana; the way you grip me, the way you suck me into your body, the way your walls throb just before-"

"CHRISTIAN!" his words push me over the edge.

"ANA!" Just as I'm coming down from my own orgasm, I feel Christian erupt inside of me sending me into another smaller orgasm as I'm warmed from the inside out. His arms give out, no longer able to hold him up and the top half of his body collapses on top of me. It's not very often that Christian does this because he's always afraid he's going to hurt me, but I love feeling his full weight on top of me. I love that he trusts me this much because there was time I didn't think we would ever get here.

"Let's move to the shower so I can have desert," Christian whispers as he wraps an arm under my back and lifts me against his chest before standing up.

"Desert?"

"Oh yeah, baby, I'm not done with you just yet," I feel him chuckle against my neck as he carries me into through the bedroom and into the bathroom. It's only a couple of minutes since his orgasm, but I feel Christian hardening, clearly ready for round two. He sets me down in front of the mirror, slowly slipping out of me and turning me around so I'm facing the mirror. My eyes meet his in the mirror; his eyes are filled with desire and need as I watch his gaze slowly slide down my naked reflection.

"Screw the shower," he mumbles before wrapping his arms around me pulling me against him. His fingers tease my clit while his erection prods me from behind. When I open my eyes, the heat rushes to my face when I immediately find his eyes watching my reflection in the mirror. He gently urges me to lean over, granting him the access he needs. He easily slips inside of me, plunging deep, groaning as he pulls my hips to his.

"Watch us," he mumbles. "Watch what you do to me, how you make me lose all control, watch how your body responds to me, watch how in tuned we are to each other."

He moves my hands so they're on vanity, my eyes are on his reflection as he slowly begins to move within me. I fight the need to close my eyes, to allow myself to get lost in the feelings coursing through my body. Instead, I watch our reflection in the mirror; I watch Christian's eyes taking in my body. I watch the veins in his arms bulge as he tightens his grip on my hips and pulls me closer to him. I watch and feel his hands leave my hips, traveling slowly to my breasts where they stop. He teases my nipples, watching my reaction in the mirror before pulling me up so I'm standing with my back against his chest.

"Oh God," I moan as he sinks deeper into me in this position.

"Watch us," he whispers before I even realize my eyes closed.

My eyes open and I look in the mirror. Instead of focusing on my naked body, I look for Christian's eyes. His eyes meet mine, watching my reaction as he moves his hand in front of us, his fingers expertly finding my clit causing me to gasp and tighten around him. In that moment something changes, I do as he asked. Instead of focusing on his teasing fingers and my body's reactions, I focus on Christian. I watch as the moment him teasing my clit begins to become too much for him. I watch his reaction as I feel my sex clutch him; I watch the determination take over on his face as he pushes his own need aside waiting instead for my orgasm before allowing himself a release. I hold off my release, waiting and watching his reaction. When my knees become too week to hold me up and my body is begging for a release, I find his eyes in the mirror. Without a word spoken, we both fly over the beautiful edge together. Christian's arms wrap around me, anchoring me to him as we both ride out the last waves of our orgasms.

"Wow…" there are no words for what just happened. It was incredibly erotic to watch ourselves in the mirror; I loved watching Christian's reaction to how my body was reacting to what he was doing. It was almost like watching from the outside yet still feeling everything that was going on.

"I love you Ana," he whispers against me, squeezing me tighter as he says the words.

"I love you Christian," I lean back kissing him as best as I can from this position.

"Come, let's take that shower now," he slowly slips out of me and I can't help but moan at the empty feeling which is kind of silly considering what we just did….twice. He takes my hand and leads me to the shower, turning the water on warm before stepping in. The shower in this condo is definitely not as large as the one in the penthouse, but I kind of like that it's smaller since it means our bodies end up rubbing up against each other more often.

A few minutes later, we're both washed and drying off before heading to bed. I grab two water bottles form the kitchen handing one to Christian before taking a sip of my own. I watch him drink nearly half the bottle before placing it on the nightstand next to the bed. Without saying a word, Christian removes the towel I had been wearing before taking off his own and guiding me to the bed.

"We're not wearing pajamas tonight?" I giggle.

"No," he offers no explanation but after turning off the lights he climbs into bed next to me and pulls me against him. Christian's arms are wrapped tightly around me, keeping me close to him as sleep quickly finds us both.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but when I open my eyes the room is pitch dark. It takes me a couple of seconds to figure out what woke me up; when Christian whimpers I realize it's not what woke me up but who. His body is tense against mine, he's mumbling so quietly I can't make out what he's saying. I try calling his name, but he's so deep it nightmare that he doesn't respond. He hasn't had a nightmare since our honeymoon and I have no idea what brought this one on.

"NOoooooo! ANA!" he screams out before sitting straight up in the bed, his eyes wild as he searches the room.

"Christian, it's okay," I say gently as place my hand cautiously on his arm. I have no idea what his nightmare was about, so I touch him cautiously not entirely sure if he's truly awake yet. "I'm right here, Christian."

"Ana?" his eyes finally find mine and I begin to feel his body relax a little.

He lays back down on the bed, quickly taking me with him. His head isn't even on pillow yet before his lisp find mine; he wraps an arm around my waist pulling me close to him so there's no space between us. I can feel the warmth from his body; his hands are roaming over my body almost as if he's trying to reassure himself that I'm next to him.

"You okay?" I ask.

He doesn't answer me, instead he moves me so I'm lying on top of him as his hands continue to move all over my body. Not knowing what he needs, I do the only thing I can think of to comfort him, I kiss him and mimic his own movements with my hands. I slowly run my hands over his arms, shoulders, down his sides and even to the top the of his thighs before following the same path upwards. The entire time, our lips never leave each other's.

"Ana…" Christian whispers against my lips. "I….I need you. I need….to be inside of you."

The plea in Christian's voice surprises me, but instead of questioning him about it, I reach between us and guide his erection to my sex. I slowly push my hips down, letting my body adjust to Christian; the entire time his hands continue to run over my entire body. Christian lets out a small groan when our hips finally meet.

No words are spoken, unlike earlier no one is chasing an orgasm; we're simply together. Our movements are slow, our bodies caressing each other as the need builds incredibly slowly between us. I have no idea how long we make love, but the burn is so slow that when the orgasm hits me it truly catches me by surprise. My head falls to the pillow at the strength of it; Christian takes a hold of my hips and pulls me firmly against him as he finds his own release deep inside of me. We're both breathless by the time Christian rolls us over so we're laying face to face; it takes us several minutes before our breathing finally returns to normal. Eventually we both fall asleep; as much as I want to ask Christian about the nightmare I decide to wait until the morning.

"Morning," Christian says as soon as I open my eyes. I find myself in the same position as I fell asleep in after we made love during the night. I'm on my side, facing Christian with him arm wrapped around me.

"Morning. I'm surprised to see you awake this early," I admit.

"Why?"

"I expected to you to be nursing a hangover most of the day."

"Nah, I don't get too many of those."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Let's take a shower first," he sighs his reluctance obviously showing.

I groan as I get out of bed, my body sore in far too many places. Christian has a proud look on his face as I slowly make my way to the bathroom. Who knew having sex used this many muscles?

"You okay?" he asks as I get in the shower after him.

"Sore…very sore."

"You should take something when we get out of here, but the heat should help relax your muscles," he suggests.

We spend far too long in the shower, but by the time we're done I can move much easier. Christian massage my back, thighs, calves and even my arms before we left the shower. Between the massage and the heat of the water, getting out to the shower was much easier than getting into it was. While I'm making us breakfast, Christian straightens up the mess we made last night. Papers that were once on the dining room table were on the floor and much to Christian's amusement I made him wipe down the table before we sat down to eat there. My face reddened recalling what we did on the table last night and knowing that I'll never be able to look at the table again without thinking about what we did.

"So…." I begin as we both finish eating.

"She's…..she's seriously screwed up Ana," he sighs. "There is no other way to put it. She admitted she was behind everything with the media-"

"She admitted that?"

"She said she was trying to get me to see that I needed her," he clenches his fist.

"Did she tell you anything about…" I can't even bare to say his name.

"Not really. She knows he was staying at a motel about half an hour from here but otherwise she didn't know much or at least she wasn't saying much. She doesn't know what his plans are. Her job was to convince me that I…I needed her and that you couldn't be what I needed. Then when I left you, he would be free to…"

"To come after me," I finish the sentence for him.

"Yes, but you have to know that I'll never let that happen Ana. Taylor has everyone working on finding him, we won't let him-"

"I know you'll do everything in your power Christian," I assure him and try not to let my doubts show. I have no doubt that Christian will do anything to keep me safe. I just doubt that it'll be enough; he won't be able to keep me safe forever.

"He's not going to hurt you again Ana," Christian takes my hand squeezing it tightly just as someone knocks on the door "We won't let him."

"I know," I say before getting up to find Taylor at the door. "Come in Taylor."

"I hope I'm not disturbing you, Mrs. Grey," he says before stepping into the living room.

"No you're not. Would you like some coffee?"

"If you have some made ma'am I wouldn't refuse a cup."

"Taylor," Christian gestures to the chair next to him at the table.

"I thought we might need to go over your schedule now that you're back in Seattle sir and determine what security measures are necessary."


	94. Chapter 94

_Author's Note: If you haven't already checked it out, I uploaded a one shot story yesterday entitled "One Crazy Night." The story is definitely not for everyone, but if you want to read something a little different go check it out. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter._

 **Chpt. 94 CPOV:**

"Any news?" I ask Taylor.

"We've checked every motel, hotel and rooming house within 45 minutes of Escala and no one has record of Hyde or Ms. Kavanaugh checking in or out in the last two weeks."

"How is that possible? We know that Hyde was only 33-36 minutes from Escala."

"These types of places…they're the type that doesn't exactly keep record of who checks in or out sir. Most you can rent rooms for a couple of hours or just a night, typically cash only. There are no security cameras either."

"So what the fuck do we do? We can't continue to live our lives in fear," I'm only going to GEH for a couple of hours each day but I hate that our lives are revolving around that fucker. Ana hasn't left Escala since we returned from the cabin; Ginny and Mia have been meeting with her at the apartment but at some point I know Ana is going to need to physically go to the bakery to check on things. Thankfully Mia has fully stepped into the role of managing the bakery for Ana which has been amazing since Ginny is preparing to move in with her daughter in the next two months.

"We're chasing down all options, sir. I have a few men watching some of the motels that we believe he is likely to be at. Otherwise, if you need to leave Escala we just maintain our security measures. I don't think he is simply going to get bored and give up sir. People like him…they don't like to lose."

"And when he strikes?"

"We catch him."

"Everything ready for this evening?"

"Yes sir."

"And security is up and running?"

"Yes sir. Sawyer was over there this morning verifying that everything is operating as expected. Barney has monitored the security feed from here and also confirmed that we are good to go."

"Wonderful."

When I bought the house, it was to manage security better than what could be done at Escala but with everything going on I now see the house as being able to give Ana a little freedom that she currently doesn't have at Escala. I hate that we practically have her under lock and key, but I don't know how else to keep her safe. Anytime she leaves Escala she's at risk because we have no idea where that bastard is or what is fucking plan is. She hasn't complained once, but I know at some point she's going to get fed up with not being able to at least go outside. Other than the pool at Escala, Ana has been cooped up in the condo. At least with the house she'll have more space inside but also have the pool and the yard. But even I know that's not going to last too long. She's not the type to just sit around and do nothing. She's going to want to get out and I don't blame her. Tonight when I take her to the house it'll be the first time she's left Escala in more than a week.

"Anything on my schedule concern you?" I ask.

"Andrea has Roz attending a couple of the larger benefits on behalf of GEH, otherwise you have a small celebratory dinner later this week that I don't expect to be a security issue for you or Mrs. Grey to attend-"

"You're sure Ana can go? You don't have any security concerns at all?"

"Andrea booked a private room at the restaurant for the dinner. There's only one entrance to the room so we'll be able to station someone outside the door to ensure no one enters. We've already run background checks on everyone attending the dinner since they'll be employees of GEH once the acquisition is effective, but everyone attending will need to be on al list prior to the event. Andrea believes that in total there will be less than a dozen people attending the meeting in addition to you, Mrs. Grey and Roz."

"If you're sure…"

"I'm not worried about the dinner sir. Honestly this is probably the best location for it given that we can control the room."

"Okay."

Taylor and I have been staggering the hours I come to GEH this week as to not create any type of a pattern of when Ana is alone. Although, truly she's never alone. Sawyer is stationed outside the apartment door at all times; Rennolds patrols the hallway and stairwells. Gail is typically in the apartment most of the day which I know Ana appreciates. The entire thing has gone on long enough and I'm ready for the drama to be over so Ana and I can get on with our lives together.

Our lives together….

If you would have told me a year ago I would be sitting here thinking about planning my real with wedding with Ana I would have asked if you were high. Never did I think when I met with Elena that day, that this is where it would lead. One wedding, an amazing honeymoon, declarations of love, buying a house and planning a second, real wedding. Who would have thought all of this would have come from one meeting.

"You ready sir?" Taylor appears at my door reminding me that's the time we had agreed that I would leave GEH today. It's tough not being here as long as I would like, but Taylor's reasoning makes sense and if it means keeping Ana safe I'll do whatever he says we need to do. I pack up, closing off the light in my office before heading through the silent floor of the building. It's just after 6pm and most people have already left for the day. Normally Roz would be the only person still working on this floor, but she flew out yesterday to deal with an issue at one of our offices and isn't due back until tomorrow. I've been here about four hour today, but thankfully since the apartment has a fully functional office I'm not falling behind in work by limiting my physical presence at GEH.

 _On our way back to Escala. When we get there, Sawyer will bring you down to meet us –C_

 _Where are we going? –A_

 _Out. –C_

 _Well, that tells me a lot –A_

 _It's a surprise –C_

 _Anything specific I should wear? –A_

 _Well, if no one else were around I'd love to see you in one of those outfits you were in Fiji –C_

 _I'm not wearing that down to the parking garage! –A_

 _Tell you what, bring one with you –C_

 _We're not coming back here tonight ? –A_

 _No –C_

 _But you're not telling me where we're going? –A_

 _Nope –C_

 _UGH –A_

 _I'm 5 minutes away –C_

 _Okay, okay I need to stop texting so I can get changed – A_

 _Anything you're wearing is fine –C_

She doesn't respond which makes me smile as I'm sure she's quickly changing from her yoga pants and t shirt (her typical outfit lately) into something she deems more appropriate. Of course she wouldn't listen to me when I told her she didn't need to change, the yoga pants and top would be fine but since I'm keeping out destination a secret she thinks she needs to wear something else. Unless we're at home, Ana doesn't wear yoga pants in public. As far as I'm concerned, she would wear them 24/7 because I love the way they hug her ass and fit her just perfectly, showing off her toned legs.

"Sir, we've arrived," Taylor informs me as he pulls into the parking garage of Escala.

"Ana's on her way down?"

"Sawyer and Rennolds are both with her in elevator right now," he confirms before stepping out of the car.

Although I prefer to be the one to greet Ana when she comes off the elevator, this is the established protocol we've worked out for situations like this. Taylor stands at my car, with his hand on the gun at his waist, while Sawyer and Rennolds escort Ana to the car. Sawyer will be in our car while Rennolds returns to the apartment to maintain security with Smith who is at the apartment door right now. Taylor also has security at the house until we arrive tonight; then Sawyer and Taylor will be with us with the security system also being maintained from off site.

"Hi," Ana greets me as soon as she slides into the car. Rather than responding, I slip my arm around her waist and haul her against me until her lips meet mine. She giggles against me before kissing me back; my hands are about to find their way under her top when I feel the SUV door slam shut. Ana quickly pulls back, blushing in the way she always does when she thinks someone might have seen us do anything even just kissing.

"Sit back, relax, the drive isn't that long," I suggest.

"Still not going to tell me where we're going?" she asks.

"Nope. It's a surprise."

"No hint?"

"Did you bring it?" I look around not seeing an overnight bag.

"In my purse," she whispers as if Taylor or Sawyer have any idea what we're talking about.

"Can't wait."

"You haven't seen this one yet."

"I thought I had seen them all?"

"Nope," she giggles.

"You're killing me."

I have to adjust myself which makes Ana blush even more as I remember the incredibly sexy lingerie that she wore in Fiji. Remembering the one night she didn't wear the lingerie I realize why she would have one that I hadn't seen yet, assuming that more weren't packed than needed for just the week we were gone. There was only that one night in Fiji she didn't wear something Caroline had packed for nightwear. Rather than focusing on that, I focus on my beautiful wife sitting next to me as I watch her reaction since we're close to the house now.

"We're going to your parents?" she asks, likely trying to figure out why I would ask her to pack lingerie if that's where we were headed.

"No, but it's only about 10 minutes from where they live."

"Oh," I can hear the relief in her voice.

A few minutes later her eyes open wide as Taylor slowly pulls into the driveway which is blocked by a large 10 foot high iron fence. He enters in code which trigger the gates to quickly open.

"Who's house are we at?" Ana asks.

I don't answer, instead watching her reaction as we drive the few minutes it takes to get up to the house. I glance behind us, relieved to see the gate already closed before we're more than a few feet from it. The fence goes around the entire perimeter of the yard; the underground alarm system is buried only a foot in front of it so if anyone were to get near it the alarm would be triggered. There are motion sensor alarms placed throughout the yard which would be triggered if anyone were able to get through the first alarm system and then over the fence.

Ana's eyes nearly pop out of her head as we approach the large, stone house on top of the hill. When I saw this house I had no doubts that Ana would fall in love. It has an incredible view from nearly every window of the house, plus it has a large enough yard that you don't need to worry about neighbors watching you're every move. In fact, there is a vacant lot to the one side that I have already purchased and contracted with Elliot to build a home for Gail and Taylor. In the meantime, there is a separate private apartment over the five car garage where they will be staying. On the other side of this house is a smaller home that is only used by a family a couple times a year for vacations. My ultimate goal will be to convince them to sell it to me, but for now they don't pose a threat.

"Ana? Baby, we need to get out of the car," I say when she hasn't moved from her seat to take my hand.

"What? Oh…sorry," she stammers before sliding out of the car. "I suddenly feel incredibly under dressed for whoever we're meeting. Why didn't you say something?"

"Ana, we're not meeting anyone," I assure her as we walk to the front door.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

I don't answer, instead I nod to Taylor who unlocks the door and turns off the alarm before holding open the door for us. Sawyer is behind us, maintaining security although I'm confident with the men Taylor has had here plus the video surveillance that we're safe. We walk into the expansive foyer when I hear Taylor quietly leave and close the door behind him. I hear the alarm system faintly beep as he engages it from his phone as I watch Ana just take everything in.

"Christian? Who lives here?"

"We do."

"WHAT!?"

"This is our house."

"You bought this house?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why did you buy this house?" Okay not the response I was expecting from her.

"I wanted us to have a space of our own," I answer her honestly. "I wanted us to have a pool and a gym that we could use without having to share it with everyone else in the building. I wanted us to have outside space, to have a yard of our own. And I wanted a space where we could walk through the door and not picture _her_ waiting for us with a gun. I wanted-"

She doesn't give me a chance to respond, she simply wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. I sigh, relaxing into her body as I pull her closer to me. I faintly hear the wood crackling from the fire in the great room, which Ana must here as well because she suddenly pulls back and looks around me.

"Is there a fire going?"

"There's a wood burning fire place in the great room plus a gas fire place in the master bedroom. Taylor arranged for the fire to be lit so the room would be warm when we arrived."

"You really bought this house?" she asks.

"I did. We closed on the house the day after we came back from the cabin; Taylor and Elliot arranged for the security system to be put in and some other minor work done before we could move in. There's still some more work that needs to be done, but for now the house is ready for us to move in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"The penthouse has already been packed up; a few boxes things have already been moved in. Everything in the condo we were staying in will be moved in tomorrow."

"How did you….you moved stuff in already?"

"The movers packed up and moved everything that we weren't using from the penthouse in earlier today. It's not unpacked yet, but everything is here."

"I can't believe you bought this house. We could have just gone back to the penthouse you know-"

"No. I couldn't walk back in there…not after….No. I couldn't do it. The condo was fine for a short time, but it's not nearly big enough."

"So you bought yourself a house," she shakes her head in surprise.

"I bought us a house."

"Us?"

"Yes, us; it's our house. Your name is on the deed just as mine is."

"We own a house."

"We do."

"Holy shit."

I can't help but laugh; it's not often that Ana curses but when she does she always manages to do it when I least expect it.

"Come, let me show you around."

We walk through the great room, the formal dining the room, the large kitchen which I knew she would fall in love with, the smaller informal dining room, the walk in pantry and out to the backyard. Outside is large, Olympic size built in pool complete with an outside shower and changing area. The yard is expansive, with open space and small gardens built around it.

"I could spend all night out here," she whispers taking it all in.

"One night we will," I assure her.

We return to the tour of the house including the game and media rooms before heading down to the wine cellar which is one of my personal favorite features of the house. From there we go up the arched stairway to the second floor where I show off the 4 guest bedrooms and bathrooms, the office complete with two desks so Ana can also work in there whether for school or the bakery before we go into the master bedroom.

"Holy shit," she says again.

The master bedroom is enormous. The previous owners took down a connecting wall and turned two bedrooms into one. There is a large walk in closet complete with built in dressers for all of our clothes. I arranged for a brand new king size bed with a sleigh frame to be delivered earlier today. There are French doors which overlook the entire backyard. Then there's the master bathroom complete with a shower for two, a soaker tub and a double vanity.

"There's one last room I want you to see," I take her hand and lead her to the room that both Elliot and I said she would fall in love with. At the end of the hallway, there's a spiral staircase that leads up to the next floor.

"Oh my god," she gasps.

The entire floor is a library and the look in Ana's eyes tells me everything I need to know. The ceiling up here is vaulted, the natural beams adding character to the room. There are filled bookshelves lining every wall; this was the first room I insisted be unpacked. I would sleep on the great room floor if I needed to as long as it meant this room was unpacked when Ana arrived tonight. I had the oversized chair moved from the penthouse in here so Ana could curl up and read whenever she wanted.

"Christian….this is….."

"The moment I saw this floor, my decision was made to buy the house. I knew you would love it."

"Love…gosh that's not even close to the right word. I….I'm….stunned."

"Elliot completed a thorough inspection of the house before we closed," I explain as I lead her back downstairs to the living room where I pour us a glass of wine before we head into the great room to sit in front of the fire. "There's a few projects we have lined up to be completed, but nothing too major."

"I can't even think of a single thing that needs to be done to the house, it's perfect," she says. "Oh…wait what about Gail and Taylor? Where will they live?"

"For now, there's a private apartment above the garage."

"For now?"

"They don't know it yet, but I also purchased the vacant lot next door and will be building them their own house."

"Christian!" she gasps in surprise and I'm simply shrug my shoulders not understanding what the big deal is.

"Then the apartment of the garage can be for any extra security staff we have who need to crash for the night, or if we have company over or something…"

"This is…just amazing Christian. Thank you-"

"No. You can't thank me for buying us something."

"I can't?"

"No. This place…this is for us; so you can't thank me."

"I can think of one way I can thank you."

"Oh yeah, how's that?"

She stands up, grabbing her purse that we had dropped on the floor before we began the tour of the house.

"Meet me upstairs in 10 minutes."

"10 minutes…."

"I'm going to change into….well let's just say something more comfortable."

I groan and fall back onto the floor, my mind immediately picturing every one of the outfits she wore on our honeymoon. It takes everything in me not to follow her up the stairs, insisting she change right in front of me….but then again if I did that she wouldn't even have a chance to put the outfit on before I'd have her on the bed.

 _Everything secure? –C_

 _Yes, sir. –T_

 _We're in for the night. –C_

 _Understood, sir –T_

I read through a few emails as I slowly watch the clock on my phone change, counting down the minutes until I can go upstairs. After eight minutes, I decide it's been long enough. Even if it's not, it'll probably take me another minute or two to get to the master bedroom right? I refill our glasses of wine before turning off all the lights, checking the alarm and heading upstairs to our new bedroom. When I open the door and see Ana coming out of the bathroom, I nearly drop the wine glasses.

"Holy shit."

"I thought that was my line," she giggles.

Ana is standing before me in….hell I don't even know what to call it. The outfit itself is a white lace, completely see through. But that's not the shocking part. It's open…everywhere that normally isn't open. Her beautiful breasts are on full display, surrounded by a circle baby blue lace. Her breasts….fuck they're not even in the outfit. And FUCK…her sex is open as well. The white laces separates just as it reaches her sex, so a perfect opening forms putting her on full display.

"Fuck me," I groan when she turns around so I can take in the back of the outfit. A small piece of white lace forms from somewhere between her legs and go up to her waist leaving her beautiful ass completely exposed. When she turns around again, I notice the thigh highs that are connected to the outfit with garters. How the fuck did I miss that?

"Fuck me."

"You said that already," she giggles and turns an even brighter shade of red.

"Ana….you're fucking gorgeous."

"I nearly died when I pulled this from the bag in Fiji; I have no idea what the personal shopper was thinking when she packed this."

"She was thinking you were going to go on your honeymoon and that you should drive your husband crazy. That's what she was thinking."

I take her hand and pull her towards me until her body is pressed up against mine. I want to touch her everywhere, but don't know where to even begin. When she starts to unbutton my dress shirt, I reach down and grab her bare ass loving the way it feels in my hands. She moans when I pull her against me, leaving her no doubt what I truly think of her outfit. When my shirt falls to the floor, she moves to my pants and I move to her breasts. They're just fucking right there, not covered, not hidden just right there for me. I groan when she wraps her hand around my dick, pumping me before she pushes my underwear down.

"Aren't you going to undress me?" she whispers.

"Fuck no," I groan as I pull her back against me and she guides my erection between her legs. With the opening of the outfit, I rub right against her sex making her moan. "This outfit is staying on, we're going to take advantage of all these beautiful cut outs."

Her face heats up but she doesn't say anything. I step out of my pants before lifting her up so I can carry her to the bed. She wraps her legs around me just as I raise her high enough to take her nipple into my mouth. She cries out my name when I nip at it and take the other one quickly into my mouth, sucking on it hard as I walk us over to the bed. I lay her down under me before I sliding my fingers down to her drenched sex, I love how she's always ready for me because after seeing her in this outfit I don't know how much longer I can wait. Still, I tease her clit while I show each of her nipples the attention they deserve until she's moaning and arching her body against me.

"Christian….please…." she moans and I know she's close but I've been keeping just enough pressure on her clit as to not push her over that edge.

"You look so fucking sexy Ana, you're so beautiful," I run my fingers along the two pieces of thing fabric that are on either side of her lips – the only thing connecting the front of her outfit to the back.

"I need you," she moans just as I place myself at her opening.

"I love you Ana," I whisper before thrusting deeply into her causing her to immediately erupt around me. She screams my name as the orgasm hits her, a sound I'll never tire of hearing. I slow my movements, letting her ride out the orgasm before flipping us over so she is now on top.

"I want to watch you," I plead the picture in my head in no way doing justice to what Ana will look like riding me in this outfit.

"I love you," she whispers before sitting up and I nearly lose it right there.

She's stunning with clothes, without clothes, hell even walking around in my t shirt at night Ana's fucking stunning. But the confidence she shows right now, just makes her even more beautiful than she already is.

She reaches behind her, grasping my thighs as she begins to slowly move her body against mine. I watch every move, her breasts as they move with her, her mouth as she bites her lip moaning each time she takes me in completely and her sex where I watch myself slide in and out of her warm body. I try to hold off the orgasm that is building but when her hand slips down just enough that her fingers graze my balls I lose my battle.

"ANA!" I scream out her name just before I take hold her hips and push her down against me as I thrust deep into her finding my release.

"Christian!" my thumb on her clit, applying just the right amount of pressure forces her orgasm to hit her just as mine is finishing. I groan has her walls convulse around me, her body trying to suck me in even deeper.

Ana collapses on my chest, her bare breasts against me; I run my hands over her entire body appreciating every piece of this outfit. I make a mental note to ask Caroline to send over an entirely new bedroom wardrobe for Ana.

"I should go change…."

"Fuck no you shouldn't change," I hold her against me. If she thinks she's changing out of this little outfit she is sadly mistaken.

"At least let me go clean up before I fall sleep right here."

"I wouldn't complain about that," but I loosen my arms and watch her as she sits up and slowly slides off of me. We both groan at the loss of our connection. My eyes are glued to her ass as she walks into the bathroom; I'm still watching when she slips out of the bathroom and walks to the bed her beautiful breasts bouncing with each step. She slides into the bed, under the covers, and curls up right next to me placing her hand on my chest. I wrap my arm around her back, anchoring her to me as I listen to her breathing slow down before she falls asleep.

 _Several days later_

"Sir, we need to leave in a few minutes," Taylor reminds me just as I'm packing up for the day.

"Is Ana on her way?"

"They were getting ready to leave three minutes ago when Sawyer texted me."

Tonight we have the celebratory dinner which will be the first time that Ana and I are out since we returned from the cabin nearly two weeks ago. The restaurant is closer to the house than it is to GEH so it made sense for Ana to go straight there rather than coming to GEH first and going with me. Plus she's with both Sawyer and Rennolds so even though I'm not with her I know she's safe.

Taylor and I head down to the parking garage where Smith is already waiting for us. While I'm at GEH I only have Taylor with me, but the moment I leave GEH Smith joins us. Since we returned from Montana the procedure has been 2 CPOs whenever Ana or myself leave the house or in my case GEH. Smith is at the SUV, having checked it over before we left my office. He closes the door behind me before walking around and getting in the passenger side of the car allowing Taylor as normal to drive.

We pull out of the parking garage and are no more than a few blocks from GEH when Taylor starts screaming into the phone.

"WHAT?! When? Get me an exact location….NOW! ! Have emergency personal been notified? Well make sure!"

"What's going on Taylor?"

"The alarm on the SUV that Sawyer is driving is going off-"

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It's indicating there's been a collision sir."


	95. Chapter 95

**Chpt. 95 APOV:**

"We should be there in about 10 minutes," Sawyer says as he maneuvers us through the rush hour traffic that is Seattle.

"Okay," I wouldn't care if he told me it would be another hour until we got there. I don't think I've ever been so relieved to get out of the house as I was today. I absolutely love the new house and the fact that now I can at least go outside unlike at the condo. Tonight's dinner is our first time in public though in ages. I understand the security reasons for keeping us, well me, at the condo or the house so I don't complain….well except to myself. I was surprised when Christian told me about the dinner, but after talking with Taylor and Sawyer I could see that they thought of everything and that no one had any security concerns.

Tonight's dinner is informal, just a celebratory dinner for a smaller company that GEH took over. I'm wearing a pair of dark grey dress pants, a light blue shirt and a blazer that matches the pants. In my purse is pepper spray that Christian now insists I carry. I doubt I'll ever use it, but I don't complain because I know it helps Christian's fears. My fears on the other hand…I don't know that anything will help them. I'm back to constantly looking over my shoulder, even at the new house, just like I was when I first came to Seattle. For awhile I had stopped that; I didn't feel the need to constantly be looking out for _him_. I assumed he had finally moved on and was going to leave me alone.

"How are your classes going Mrs. Grey?" Rennolds asks. He still refuses to call me Ana no matter how many times I've asked him. I think Sawyer is only comfortable with me because of how long he's been working with me; Rennolds was only there for rare situations until more recently.

"They're going good, thanks for asking. I'm really enjoying the classes. It's amazing all the little things about marketing that I-"

CRASH

The sound of metal crunching and screaming fills the air. I'm screaming; Sawyer is screaming at me to hold on and Rennolds is screaming at Sawyer to turn the wheel a different way. I have no idea what's happening but the car is being tossed in all sorts of directions. Another sound of metal comes and I realize we've been hit again this time right in the passenger side of the SUV. My head bounces off the window and everything before me goes black.

I must be in and out of consciousness because I only hear bits and pieces. I feel myself being dragged from the vehicle, my feet falling hard to the ground. I try to take a mental inventory of my injuries from the accident; my head is pounding, I can feel warmth running down my face so I know I'm bleeding from somewhere. My wrist and arm hurt – I think I banged in against the door, or maybe the window. When I open my eyes, everything is fuzzy. I hear someone calling my name, maybe Sawyer, but he sounds too far away. Then the world goes black again.

"Wakey, wakey," a voice I never wanted to hear again pulls me from a…sleep if that's even what is was. Whatever it was, the voice immediately pulls me from it and brings me back from reality. A slap to the face forces me to open my eyes and the site before me is exactly what I expected it to be.

"Well, look who decided to wake up," he snickers as he looks me over and despite still wearing all the clothes I left the house in the look he is giving me makes me feel naked.

I don't say anything, instead I take in my surroundings. I'm tied to an uncomfortable wooden chair with my hands bound behind me. I can feel the rope cutting into my wrists, tearing at my skin as I slowly try to test the knots. My ankles are tied to the legs of the chair, just as tight as my wrists from what I can tell. My head is still pounding, but the pain is more manageable. My wrist and arm hurts, but that just could be from the rope. Looking around, I'm in some type of a warehouse….or at least that's what it looks like. And the man I never wanted to see again is standing in front of me, smirking holding a gun, pointing it at me.

"I gotta give that hubby of yours some credit, he certainly didn't make it easy to get to you. You have no idea how long I had to watch you before I could finally formulate a plan. After he told Katie he would go back to her and drop you, the last thing I expected was for him to move you into Fort Knox. Apparently he just likes to lie to everyone, doesn't he."

I don't say anything, knowing how arguing would just push him further and make him angrier. Right now, I'm just trying to buy some time. I don't know how, but I know Christian and Taylor will find me. I just need to….stay alive until that happens.

"What do you want?"

"You of course."

"Why? You hated me. I was a lousy wife, a lousy lover and nothing I did was right. Why would you want me back?"

"Because you were fucking mine!" his voice bellows through the empty room, bouncing off the walls as he suddenly waves a gun that I didn't see before in front of me. My stomach drops, fear settling in as I try to control my breathing hoping a panic attack doesn't start. A gun…he has a fucking gun and I'm strapped to a chair. Any chance of being rescued just became more dangerous especially considering Christian hates guns and refuses to even touch one. "You are mine! You belong to me! I don't care if you were a lousy cook, a piece of shit in bed and that you flirted with every one of damn my coworkers, you were mine!"

It takes everything in me not to argue and point out that I wasn't any of the things he said I was but I know that will only make the situation worse…and it's looking pretty dim as it is.

"You made me the fucking laughing stock of my family and my job when you fucking disappeared that night. How do you think it made me look when I came home the next morning to find you gone? Do you know what they fucking said about me?"

I don't answer. I don't point out that he just admitted that the night he tried to kill me he was gone for the entire night that he didn't even bother to check on me all night despite the fact that he knew I was hurt and passed out at home. I don't say anything because doing so would just make him more mad, but it's taking everything in me not to lash out at home. Not to tell him what I truly think of his piece of shit ass.

"I tried to convince you that you belonged to me, but then you had to go and fucking threaten to show my father the pictures you paid someone to doctor up for you."

I'm fucking livid….he's fucking denying laying a hand on me?! He thinks I paid someone to what…photoshop the bruises, the swollen eye and the scars on me? He thinks I paid someone to write fake medical reports? Fake police reports? I knew he was crazy…but this takes denial to a whole new level.

"The thing is, I knew you weren't that smart. I knew you'd fuck up at some point; you always do. Did you not think that I would see the pictures of you and your new hubby all over the magazines? They were fucking everywhere! How did you think I wouldn't see them?"

Yeah, that was probably a screw up on my part. In my defense, I truly didn't think the press coverage of my dating and then marrying Christian would be. I figured our picture would be tucked away in the gossip section of a local newspaper or something. Not on the internet multiple times a week for anyone to see. But, it doesn't matter because even if I knew that's what would happen I wouldn't change a thing. I would still sign the contract with Elena and I would still ultimately marry Christian. Falling in love with Christian and the happiness I experienced with him, made it all worth it. Even if it meant that _he_ would find me; even if it meant he killed me today.

"Seriously, I arrange for a helicopter crash to fucking kill you and you can't even do that right? Who fucking survives a helicopter crash?!"

I knew it! I knew he was behind that.

"You did that?" I act surprised because I'm hoping he'll tell me who he was working with since I know he didn't do it himself.

"When that didn't work I had to step up my game with Katie…I had to get closer to her so I could figure out other ways to get to you. Of course, like a typical woman she couldn't even do her job right. She couldn't convince that husband of yours that he should be with her over you. Look at her! She was more his type than you will ever be. You're nothing; absolutely nothing and she was everything he needed. Hell, she even loved all that kinky shit he was into."

Fuming…I still don't say anything. Instead, I focus on my wrists and the rope that surrounds them. I may be buying time until someone figures out where the hell I am, but I'm not going to sit and wait and hope without doing something. There's no way I'm letting him walk all over me again. I'm not going to take everything from him without fighting back. I just need to get my hands a little loose before I can do anything.

"What do you want Jack? You want money? I'll give it to you," I'm starting to get desperate. Watching a gun waved in front of you will do that. "I have access to lots of money now Jack…just take me to a bank and you can have all of it."

"I don't want his fucking money!" he snaps, pointing the gun directly at me as he screams. "I don't want anything of his!"

"What do you want Jack?"

"Have you not been fucking listening or are you that stupid? .MINE! He is not going to have you."

"You want me?"

Fuck….

"Ding ding….we have a winner!" the smug smile on his face makes me wish my hands were free so I could fucking slap him.

"Why? Jack you hated being with me. Why not find someone who you love? Someone who can do all those things that I can't?"

"Because, you could have fucking been everything! You needed work, but you were finally getting it! It took you awhile to follow the fucking rules, but you had most of them down pat. You just needed reminders of why you should follow them. It's not too late, I can make you into the woman I needed you to be. The woman you should have been. I don't give a shit about love; love doesn't make me look good to my boss. Love doesn't help my career. A halfway decent looking woman who can follow a few simple rules at my side though? That can make or break a man's career. I've put too much work into you just to let you go. With Dad now out of the picture, you can threaten me with those pictures all you want because you and I both know I don't give a shit about them. I lose my job because of those pictures you made up? I'll fucking punish you like you've never been punished before; then I'll move us to a new city and get a new job. You'll never get rid of me. There's nothing you can hold over my head any longer, bitch."

What the fuck do you say to that crazy logic? How do you make sense of that? I look around the large, empty dirty room hoping to find something that can help me. The windows are covered in filth, barely letting any light in not that it matters because it'll be dark outside soon. I have no idea what time it is or how much time has passed since the accident but I know the sun will be setting soon. There are wires hanging from the ceiling, but they're still far above us that even if I could stand up I wouldn't be able to reach them. The ground is covered in newspaper, plastic bags, broken bottles, wires and just plain garbage. Nothing that can help me if I'm tied to a chair. I need to find a way to get lose from the chair if I'm going to have any chance of getting out of this.

Suddenly his cell phone rings, he pulls it from his pocket glancing at the screen before answering it and telling whoever it is to hold on. He walks away from me, out a door on the other side of the room that I hadn't noticed. The door doesn't seem to lead outside because no sunlight or clean air comes from the door; I can only assume it leads to another office of some type.

With him gone, I double my efforts on loosening the rope from my wrists. I try to pull my ankles from the chair legs and I'm surprised when they move a little easier. Abandoning the rope at my wrists, I focus my efforts on my ankles. It's a risk because if he comes back out he could see that the rope is lose but it seems to be my best option. I refuse to sit here and wait for him to kill me; I did that for far too long.

"We need to move….I want a new car here within the hour. I'm not taking any chances….get me something NOW!"

He storms back into the room, shoving the phone back in his pocket and pulling the gun from his waist band. I don't know if he knows that I heard the end of his call, but knowing that he's going to take me somewhere else has the panic setting in even more. I don't know where Christian and Taylor are or how they'll find us but if he keeps moving me I know they'll never find me. I need to do something; I take a deep breath and think back to the self-defense classes I took when I first moved to Seattle. I took them several times a week for nearly a year before my schedule finally made me stop. I loved those classes; they made me feel more confident – that I could take him if I ran into him on the streets.

I discretely test the bindings on my ankles and wrists as I formulate my plan. I say a silent prayer that this plan doesn't back fire and that I get to see Christian again. I close my eyes for a brief second thinking about all the things I still want to do with Christian. The second wedding where we exchange our vows for real, the snow falling at his place in Aspen, Christmas in our new home….the list goes on.

With a new determination that and strength, I formulate a plan. One that hopefully keeps me here long enough for Christian and Taylor to find me. Or for me to get to his phone to at least call for help before whoever is helping him comes along. I can't risk him taking me somewhere else; I don't know how Christian and Taylor will find me now but if he moves us it's going to make it nearly impossible for them to find us because I'm sure he'll just keep moving me from location to location. Until….

I shake my head, refusing to go there. I focus on the present, waiting for Jack to make his move to give me a chance to get to him. I know he's not expecting me to do anything because he still sees me as that naive 20 year old I was when we first met who never questioned him, never argued and never fought back. He has no idea how much I've changed; how much stronger I am – that I'm no longer the girl he thought he knew, the girl that he tried to break.

When he suddenly turns around to grab a water bottle off the makeshift table, I take a deep breath and force myself to a somewhat standing position. The ropes on my ankles have loosened enough that I'm able to get my feet on the ground; I can't stand up completely but at least I can somewhat move. Before he can turn around, I rush over and forcefully throw myself, chair first at him. We both tumble to the floor, the chair breaking in the process as we fall. The break allows me to pull my feet free from the legs of the chair before Jack gets up.

"You fucking BITCH! You're going to regret that!" There's blood pouring from his forehead; he must have hit it on the table when he fell into it.

I quickly get to my feet, just as he does the same. My hands are still around the back of the chair, but that's not going to stop me from trying to fight him off. The gun went flying across the room and is now behind me; Jack's eyes go wide looking for it but I don't think he can see it from where I'm standing.

"I'll never be yours Jack," I grit.

"You'll always be mine. I was your first love, I took your fucking virginity for Christ sakes! You'll never be able to forget me!"

His eyes go to the floor behind me and I know he's found the gun; I wrap my hands around the wooden spindle of the back of the chair gripping it tightly as he approaches me. The look in his eyes tells me what's coming before the punch connects to my stomach; even though I knew it was coming it still knocks the wind out of me. I bend over, focusing on my breathing but keeping my eyes on his feet. When he moves towards me again, raising his knee as if he's going to kick me I swing my back upwards, twisting so the back of the chair catches him in the face.

"BITCH! I'm going to fucking kill you!" He grabs his nose as blood spills from it as his eyes try to focus on me.

With my back of the chair now broken, I'm able to pull off the rope from my wrists. We're both standing there, waiting for someone to make the next move as the gun lays waiting. I know this is it; if he gets his hands on the gun he's going to kill me. I don't know what to do; while the gun is closer to me I have no doubt that the moment I move he's going to be on top of me. But if I don't move and wait for him to make the first move, he's stronger than me and probably faster. I have no choice; I refuse to wait for him to kill me. If he kills me now, at least I'll know that I tried to fight him unlike all the other times.

 _I'm sorry Christian_.

When he glances at the blood in his hands, I dive for the gun but I'm immediately tackled by him as I expected. We roll on the hard, cement floor. I feel punches to my ribs, my jaw and knees to my stomach as we fight for control. When the opportunity finally presents itself, I raise my knee, hard and he immediately loosens his grip on me as the pain takes over. I push him off of me, he rolls on the floor his hands cradling his dick. I don't hesitate, I reach for the gun, wrapping my hands around the handle and aiming it at him.

"I'm going to fucking kill you," he groans as he rocks back and forth on the ground.

"Try, and I'll fucking shoot you," I promise.

Apparently he thinks now is a good time to call my bluff as his hand reaches out to grab my ankle I suppose thinking he could pull me to the ground and knock the gun loose. I don't hesitate, I pull the trigger and hit his arm. He howls in pain, immediately bringing his injured hand to his chest. I move closer to his legs, my eyes never leaving his body as he grunts in pain.

"Move and I'll fucking shoot your dick off," I promise, this time with the gun aimed between his legs.

There's a commotion behind me, but I don't turn away. If this is who he's been waiting for with the new car, I'll kill Jack and then hope like hell the guy behind me doesn't have a gun. I'm not taking my eyes off of Jack for a moment; I'm not giving him a chance to do something even as I hear footsteps running towards me.

"Mrs. Grey…Ana….Ana!" Taylor's voice finally forces me to look away from Jack on the floor. Taylor's hand is wrapped around my wrist, keeping the gun pointed at the floor. I look at Taylor, relief floods me seeing that I'm not longer alone. My eyes immediately look Christian behind me, but it's not until I hear his voice that I realize he's actually in front of me.

"You fucking bastard," Christian's kicking Jack in the face, the chest, his stomach anywhere that he can get him as Jack rolls on the floor trying to protect himself.

"Can I have the gun Ana?" Taylor's voice is demanding but at the same time cautious. Part of me doesn't want to let it go, knowing that without it I have nothing to protect myself with. But at the same time, knowing that Christian and Taylor are here reassures me that it's highly unlikely that I would need something to protect myself against Jack with. I slowly and somewhat reluctantly, loosen my grip on the gun letting it slide into Taylor's hand.

"You're bleeding," he points to the dark stain on the sleeve of my jacket. "Did he shoot you?"

"No," I shake my head. I don't know where the blood is coming from but it's not from a bullet that much I know. The room starts to suddenly spin and I feel weak, sort of disoriented.

"Christian! CHRISTIAN!" Taylor screams as he wraps an arm around my waist holding me up.

"WHAT!?" Christian snaps.

"Ana needs you, she's going to pass out," Taylor says.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Christian's immediately next to me, his arm wraps around my waist before he lifts me and carries me across the room.

"I'm okay," I smile weakly.

"Where are you hurt?" he asks.

"I don't know," I honestly have no idea.

"Make one move and I'll fucking kill you," we hear Taylor threaten Jack.

"Someone's coming, he's waiting for someone to come with a car to take us…" I remember.

"The police should be here any minute Ana, they'll find whoever it was who was helping him. You're not going anywhere except to a hospital once the paramedics get here."

Christian slowly slips off my jacket, I groan in discomfort when my arm moves but I don't pay it much attention instead my focus is on Jack continues to groan on the floor across the room with Taylor standing over him a gun pointed right at him.

"It doesn't look like you were shot Ana," Christian says pulling my attention back to him.

"I think it's from when the chair I was tied to broke."

"I'll fucking kill him," Christian mumbles as he checks over the gash on my arm.

"It's fine…I'm fine-"

BOOM

The sound of a gunshot makes us both jump, Christian's body quickly surrounding mine as we both look towards Taylor trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Jack remains on the floor, no longer moving as blood slowly spreads from underneath him.

"He moved," Taylor explains simply.


	96. Chapter 96

_Author's Note: if you don't already, please consider following me on Facebook (Madison Fanfictionauthor) for notifications about when chapters are being posted._

 **Chpt. 96 CPOV:**

"Are you sure she's okay?" I ask Mom for probably the hundredth time.

"Yes sweetheart, she's fine," she assures me as I watch Ana sleep on the bed in next to me. "The pain medicine is going to keep her out of it for a couple more hours at least. That combined with the adrenaline wearing off…"

She's explained this to me countless times but it doesn't make me feel any less worried that Ana hasn't woken up yet. Ana's lying in bed with several broken ribs, a broken wrist and numerous stitches from her battle with the piece of shit, sorry excuse for a man. Her wrists and ankles are bandaged allowing the contusions from the rope to heal. Her face has countless bruises on it and her lip is still swollen; I don't need to ask her what caused them.

"It's truly a miracle she wasn't more severely injured," Mom comments. Although I know she's right, Ana shouldn't have been hurt at all. That asshole should never have come after her; he should have been locked up a long time ago for what he did to her. "I never thought I would say this about another person, but I'm glad the bastard is dead."

"Me too, Mom," I sigh and sit back in the uncomfortable hospital chair that I've occupied for the last two hours.

Taylor arrives about an hour later after finally having been released from questioning by the police, still in clothes covered with blood. I had called my dad and asked him to represent Taylor as soon as Ana was declared stable by the onsite paramedics. I knew the police would want to question Taylor even though it was clear as day he killed Hyde in self-defense.

"How is she sir?" he asks immediately.

"Stable," I sigh barely noticing my mom stepping out of the room. "They've given her pain medicine which knocked her out. She has several broken ribs, a broken wrist, stitches….and well the bruises."

"She's strong sir, she'll get through this."

"She shouldn't have fucking had to."

"Agreed, sir."

"If you need to go home and change-"

"I'm fine sir. Not going anywhere."

I know better than to argue with Taylor even though I'm not at all surprised by him wanting to stay here until he can see for himself that Ana is okay. They've become close over the last year and he's the only person besides myself who saw the pictures of what her ex previously did to her. He knew what him having her today meant; he knew the chances were high that that bastard was going to kill her.

"Christian?" Ana's soft voice is barely a whisper but Taylor and I immediately rush to her side.

"How are you baby?" I ask.

"Sore…I feel like I got ran over by a mac truck."

"I can ask the nurse for more pain medicine-"

"Not yet. Maybe later. I don't want to be knocked out again. Tell me what happened…"

"What's the last thing you remember?" I glance at Taylor at the same time he looks at me. We're both wondering if she remembers Taylor shooting Hyde.

"Taylor hopefully killing _him_ ," her voice is full of question but her eyes…they're filled with something I can't exactly place.

"He's dead Ana," Taylor confirms.

"It's really over?" she asks.

"He's dead; I checked myself," Taylor answers.

"He's gone baby," I assure.

"Wait…the person who was bringing another car. Do you know who that was?" she asks.

"A woman named Leila…she was someone I used to know," I cringe and shake my head in utter disgust.

"How did he know her?" she asks.

"We think through Katherine," I answer.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

She takes a sip of water, adjusting herself in the bed showing only minor signs of discomfort. Her lip is swollen more than double it's normal size but the swelling in her eye has gone down some so she can at least open it.

"Oh my God! What happened with Sawyer? And Rennolds? They were still in the car…I think," Ana looks between me and Taylor. Out of all the news I had to give her when she woke up I knew this would be the toughest. Taylor looks to me as I haven't had a chance to update him on Sawyer since he got here a few minutes ago.

"Sawyer is a few doors down recovering," I take a deep breath. "His leg was broken and trapped from the collision as the truck hit right into his door. He was also shot in the shoulder-"

"He was shot?!" she whispers. "He shot him?"

"From what we can tell from the footage from a nearby building, you were knocked out from the impact. During which time Hyde shot both Sawyer and Rennolds before he…took you from vehicle."

"I heard Sawyer calling for me….I only remember bits and pieces of what happened. I knew someone hit the SUV but everything kept going black. I only remember bits and pieces…"

God, just hearing her say that kills me. I wish like hell I would have been there. We thought it would be safer traveling separately; that it would be less obvious that we were leaving our house if we left in two different cars at two different times. Fuck, we should have done something else….we should have done something more….

"But Sawyer's going to be okay?" Ana asks.

"Yes," I immediately assure her. "The bullet thankfully went straight through and didn't do any major damage. They repaired that while they had him in surgery for his leg. It was a complex break so they had to reset it."

She just nods; there's not much you can say. But it's the next part that I dread telling her about.

"And Rennolds? I don't remember…"

"From what we can tell he tried to disarm Hyde and was shot in the chest during the battle," I pause not knowing how to put the next part.

"He didn't….oh tell me he didn't…." tears are in her eyes as she tries to ask the question that I know she doesn't want to hear the answer to.

"He didn't make it; he had died before the paramedics arrived on the scene," I sit on the bed next to her and gently bring my arms around her. I want nothing more than to pull her on my lap, holding her against my chest and kiss her tears away. Unfortunately with her injuries that's the last thing I can do; I can't risk hurting her any more than she already is.

"He died….because of me…." She whispers.

"No he didn't Ana," Taylor says firmly his voice leaving no room for any doubt. "When he, hell when any of us sign up for a job like this we know the risks. Sawyer, Rennolds, Smith, myself we all knew taking this job that our lives were on the line. We all agreed to put our lives on the line for you and Mr. Grey. He died doing his job – protecting you. Don't let his death be a source of guilt for you Ana; he wouldn't have wanted that."

"But his life wouldn't have been at risk if it wasn't for me! He wouldn't have died-" she snaps.

"That's not true Ana," Taylor quickly interrupts her. "If I hadn't have hired him, someone else would have. He served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, he was talented soldier with high accommodations. I was lucky to have grabbed him when I did; he had just come off an assignment for a politician who wasn't reelected. I promise you that if I hadn't had hired him, another security firm would have. This was what he wanted to do; what he enjoyed doing. He didn't go into this assignment blind; he knew the risks and chose to accept the position still. We all did."

"It's not fair though Taylor! He shouldn't have died," she sobs.

"You're right he shouldn't have baby," I agree because there's no arguing her statement. "Your….Hyde was a sick fucking bastard who should never have hurt you to begin with. All those years ago, when you first met him, he took advantage of you baby. He never should have controlled you and hurt you the way he did. Katherine and Leila, they're two fucked up women who never should have wanted to hurt you or anyone else for that matter. All three of them…they're all fucking crazy. But none of it was your fault."

"They caught her? The police….they caught Leila?"

"They did," I smile at the only part of the last 24 hours that I can smile at. "She pulled into the parking lot literally seconds before the police did. The moment she stepped out of the car, she was handcuffed for questioning. When the police heard that Hyde had called someone to arrange another vehicle they called back the last dialed number of his cell phone and her phone, in her pocket no less, rang right there in the back of the police cruiser."

"They're going to charge her right? I mean, even though…"

"She started confessing the moment her phone rang; they're charging her with several crimes I'm sure. I have my father staying on top of everything; he will ensure that no one gets away with what they did to you baby."

At some point Taylor must have stepped out of the room because when I look to where he was sitting the chair is empty. I hold Ana as best I can while being cautious of her injuries; neither of say a word the weight of the last few hours still on our shoulders. I don't know how much time passes, but eventually Ana falls asleep in my arms. A nurse comes in and quietly checks her vitals, assuring me everything is fine and that her falling asleep so soon is to be expected because of her injuries and the pain medicine still in her system. As much as I want to stay here with Ana, holding her, I know I need to talk to Taylor. I haven't really spoken except for those few minutes before Ana woke up. I wait awhile, until I'm convinced that she's fully asleep before slipping out of the bed and out her door to find Taylor who of course is standing right next to the door.

"Taylor, go home," I say knowing how exhausted he must be.

"With all due respect sir, I would rather not," he says stubbornly. "Gail is bringing me a change of clothes as well as food for both you and Ana. Smith just left to go pick her up."

"My dad settle everything with the police?" I ask even though my dad already called me and assured me everything was taken care of.

"Yes, thank you again for sending him although I don't think it was necessary-"

"Better safe than sorry."

"They need to review the situation with the DA but the captain felt that it was a clear case of self-defense and that charges won't be pressed against me."

"Thank fuck for that," hearing it from Taylor is reassuring even though I fully believed what my dad told me.

"Yeah, thank fuck," he smirks.

"I've already spoken with Rennolds' family and assured them they will be taken care of," I assure him. "He had been sending his mom money every month to help her with her bills; I assured her that won't change. His life insurance will be sent to her and I've arranged for his monthly salary to be sent to her as well."

"Sir, that's more than his contract-"

"He died protecting my wife Taylor. It's the least I can do."

"Understood sir," he says after a few minutes of silence.

"I've spoken to the hospital about Sawyer's bills; should the insurance company not cover something it will be sent to me. My mother arranged for the head of orthopedics to be assigned to his case; whatever he recommends it will be approved and covered. In the meantime, he will continued to be paid his monthly salary until he is cleared to return to work no matter how long that may take."

"That's very generous of you sir," he says knowing the contract only stipulates that I have to pay their salary for 3 months and after that if they are not able to return to work they are given a small lump sum payment. But again, Sawyer was injured protecting Ana…that's something I will never take for granted especially after today.

"I'm going to go back in there; I don't want Ana to wake up alone. Seriously consider going home Taylor; I can't imagine the toll today is taking on you."

"I'll leave when you do sir, I wasn't the only one there."

I shake my head knowing neither of us are going to win that argument and head back into Ana's room thankful to see that she is still sleeping and doesn't appear to have woken up while I stepped out of her room. I slip back into bed beside her; I know I should be sitting in the chair so she can have space in the bed but right now I need to be selfish. I came so close to losing her today; I need her close to me. I need to feel her against me; I need to know she's safe.

God when I think back on everything that's happened I still can't believe that she's actually here; that I didn't lose her. When we sped to the accident location and saw the SUV, my heart sank. The SUV itself didn't look too horrible, except for the driver's side door which is where the other car hit it head on. Taylor thinks that perhaps Hyde wasn't aware of the second CPO in the vehicle which was the reason he targeted the driver's side. We immediately called Barney who within minutes was able to hack into the security cameras of the bank across the street and several nearby businesses. He pieced together what had happened in record time, but hearing him tell us what he was seeing nearly killed me. I watched Taylor's face go from pale with fear to red with anger upon learning that Hyde had Ana. I don't remember much of the conversation after that; I just saw red at the very notion of Hyde having his hands on Ana again.

If it wasn't for the damn tracker that Taylor thought ahead to have Gail sew into the outfit Ana was wearing tonight, we wouldn't have found her…in time or at all. If Ana had taken off the blazer she was wearing in the car or decided against wearing it at all…fuck I don't want to think about what would have happened.

When we finally got to the warehouse, Taylor wanted to wait for the police as we looked around and tried to gage how many people were inside which logically I knew we should do. But when we heard the fucking gun shot all bets were off; there was no way in hell either of us were waiting. Taylor took one look at me before we both took off for the back door. Taylor kicked it in and we both ran in; the scene in front of me had made me stop dead in my tracks. Ana was standing over Hyde holding a gun aimed at his fucking nuts while Hyde laid on the floor bleeding. I was never so fucking proud in my entire life.

Seeing that Ana was alive, my anger took over and I went after the bastard who nearly took her from me. I beat the living shit out of him and wouldn't have killed him with my own hands if it wasn't for Taylor calling my name. The moment he said Ana needed me, the anger took a back seat and she became my priority. I let Taylor deal with the piece of scum and focused on my wife, the love of my life, who was shaking and looking pale as Taylor held her up with one hand while holding the gun in the other. I immediately picked her up and moved her clear across the room, not wanting her to have to see Hyde longer than she already had.

Following the paramedics outside with Ana on the gurney I saw the last person I would have expected to see. I couldn't fathom what the fuck Leila was doing here, in handcuffs no less, until I remember Ana saying that someone else was coming with a new car. I still have no fucking idea what Hyde had said to Leila to get her involved but I overheard her saying Katherine's name so she obviously played some part. It would explain the texts about The Blue Moon that were sent to Ana months ago; Leila knew I hadn't brought her there and knew that I hadn't been back there except once since I had met Ana.

"Christian?" Ana's sweet voice pulls me from what had happened.

"I'm right here baby," I run my fingers down the arm that isn't in the cast and move so I'm as close to her as possible. "Still sore?"

"Just my ribs," she sighs and grimaces in discomfort. "Nothing I haven't experienced before though."

I cringe remembering the doctor explaining that her ribs show signs of multiple old fractures, several of which hadn't healed properly. It didn't help that when Charlie Tango went down that she broke a rib either. Thankfully my mother had explained to the doctor before he came to speak with me about her ex; apparently he pulled her aside out of concern with the number of old injuries the x rays had shown.

"Any idea how long I need to be here?" she asks.

"The doctor said that as long as your pain was manageable you could probably leave later this evening," the sun is barely rising so technically it's today although it would have meant that Ana stayed overnight at the hospital since we had arrived late last night.

"I want to go home Christian," she complains. "I want to go back to the house; I want to sleep in our bed. I want to-"

"We'll do everything you want baby, I promise."

"You're all I kept thinking about you know. I thought about the wedding we wanted when this all was over-"

"As soon as you're cleared to travel baby, we're going," I assure her.

"I thought about your house in Aspen, spending having a Christmas tree at the new house…everything. But most of all, I thought about you. I even told you I was sorry-"

"Sorry for what?" I quickly interrupt.

"Because I was going to fight back. When I heard another vehicle was coming, I knew if he moved me you would never mind me. I had no idea if how you would find me in the first place but I knew that if we left you wouldn't find me…or not in enough time. So I decided to fight back; in my mind I told you I loved you and that I was sorry."

"Fuck baby…"

There are no words…none at all. God, for her to have to make that decision; to think that makes me want to go kill the bastard all over again.

"How did you find me anyway?"

"Taylor had Gail sew a tracking device into the blazer you had planned to wear tonight. Thankfully you didn't take it off in the car on the way to the restaurant."

"Is it over Christian?"

"It's over baby, I promise you it's over."


	97. Chapter 97

**Epilogue APOV:**

"Are you ready Ana?" Taylor asks.

"I am," I say confidently taking one final look in the mirror. My dress is simple which is exactly what I wanted it to be. I'm wearing a white, satin sleeveless dress that falls just to my ankles. Taylor hands me a small bouquet of white and red roses just before we step out of the room. He guides me down the narrow hallway and out the back door to the beach where everything is set up just how I envisioned it would be.

Nearly a year ago I was in a similar place, in a similar dress getting ready to do this very thing. Only the circumstances couldn't have been more different. Today, I will walk down the aisle where the man I love more than anything in the world is waiting for me. Whereas last time our vows focused on friendship and being there for one another, today they will represent the love we have for each other and for the future we will have together. In my wildest dreams I never expected meeting Christian for dinner that night would eventually lead us here. I never expected the meeting with Elena to change my life in so many ways. I never expected to be this happy…

"Thank you for giving me this honor Ana," Taylor whispers just before we walk down the red carpet to where Christian is waiting.

"Taylor…you'll never know…what you did for me."

We don't talk much about that day, the day when my nightmare finally ended. We don't talk about Taylor killing the man who was the source of so many of my nightmares. I've tried to thank Taylor for rescuing me that day and for ending my nightmare, but he never lets me. He has said repeatedly he was simply doing his job, but when he pulled the trigger we both know that he wasn't _just_ doing his job.

Planning this wedding was different than planning the first one. There's only a handful of people here with us, but it's those that have been with us since the beginning and who know what we went through to get here today. Instead of the first wedding where I walked down the aisle alone, today Taylor is the one giving me away and I wouldn't want it any other way. I've grown close to Taylor since Christian and I first entered into our arrangement. At first it was because he was always with us and then because I was living with Christian. Things slowly changed after the incident with Charlie Tango where he truly saved our lives when we were stranded in the middle of nowhere. He was there the day Christian saw the file on _him_ for the first time; he saw the pictures and read the reports of what happened that night. He was there when I saw Estelle for the first time in years and he had a front row seat, hearing everything that she did to me when I lived with her. Then finally, he was there with Christian to rescue me from _him_.

"I don't think you'll ever know what you did for Christian," he whispers as we begin walking down the aisle.

And Christian will never know what he did for me.

It seems to take forever to make our way down the short aisle, but when Christian takes my hands in his nothing else seems to matter. We're on a private island where we don't need to worry about the press or unwanted guests. I thought he was crazy, but in true typical fashion Christian went above and beyond renting an entire island out for our wedding and honeymoon. Christian and I are staying in the main house which is nearly as big as our house in Seattle, while Gail, Taylor and Sawyer are staying in the guest house on the other side of the island for the week.

The view from here is incredible, there's nothing but water as far as anyone can see. We only arrived here late last night, but watching the sunrise this morning while laying in Christian's arms was incredible. Seeing that technically we were already married, we decided to forgo the tradition of not seeing each other the day of the wedding. We made until the sun came up this morning and parted ways after having a late lunch together. Gail helped me get ready for the ceremony while Christian spend the afternoon with Taylor and Sawyer.

Sawyer is not back to work yet unfortunately, but I was thrilled when his doctors gave him the clearance to come with us for the week. It's only been a couple of months, but he's making amazing progress according to his doctors. He had to go a rehab center for a few weeks, but since than he has been recovering at home. On the flight here he said being at home is driving him crazy because he can't stand to sit around and do nothing all day. He also said he hopes to be cleared to return to work at least part time in the next month which I was happy to hear. Smith has been my CPO since the situation with _him_ ; I have nothing against Smith but he's not Sawyer. I feel much more comfortable around Sawyer but I think that's because he was assigned to me for so long.

Our families have no idea the real reason we're here today; they think we're taking a vacation just to relax after everything that happened. Our families will never know how we first got to know each other or how we ended up married the first time. That's something that only the handful of people here today will ever know about.

Family….that's something that I didn't ever expect to have and it's just one of the many things that Christian gave me. He found my father for me, a man that I thought died when I was just a baby. We talk on the phone often and Christian even flew Ray, his wife and his kids to our house a few weeks ago for a delayed holiday dinner. Unfortunately everything that happened was only two weeks before Christmas and no matter how much I tried to convince Christian I was fine, he decided it was best to post pone the holiday dinner until I had a chance to recover a little more. Even though I disagreed at the moment, when we actually had the dinner I felt much better than I had on Christmas day.

So Christmas in our new house was just us….and it was perfect. Christian and I spent the day together, admiring the new tree that at my insistence Taylor had delivered for us and eating a simple dinner that Gail had prepared the day before for us. I was still tired and sore, so just spending Christmas just the two of us was exactly what I needed.

Our real Christmas dinner with our families was what I always pictured a holiday dinner to be. Christian's entire family was there plus Ray and his family, plus Gail, Taylor and Sawyer. It was loud, crazy and busy but I wouldn't have changed a moment of it. I don't think I ever laughed so hard as I did that day; it killed my ribs but it was still worth every moment.

From the beginning, Christian's family welcomed me with open arms; never questioning why we were together or the quickness of our "marriage." They welcomed me into their family and treated me like I belonged there. They showed me what family really meant and for that they'll never know how grateful I am. And although I officially became a part of their family at the wedding a year ago, today makes it so much more official to me.

"You look beautiful Ana," Christian whispers as he leads me to the small alter where the officiant is waiting for us.

"Thank you," the tears are in my eyes when I find his. He'll never have any idea how much today means to me; there just aren't enough words to for me to tell him.

Throughout the ceremony, our eyes don't leave one another. Rather than writing our own vows like the first time, today we recite the traditional vows that the officiant leads us with. We went back and forth deciding on what to do with our vows, but eventually we agreed to stick with the more traditional ones for this ceremony. A year ago I never could have recited those words; we needed something at that time that spoke to our situation. Today, is different. This wedding may not be official in anyone's eyes, but the traditional vows are a perfect fitting for our traditional wedding after a very nontraditional marriage.

"You may now kiss the bride," I don't think the words were done being said before Christian's lips were on mine. His arms wrapped firmly around my waist, holding me against him as he kisses me as if no one else was with us.

"I love you," I whisper the moment he pulls away.

"I love you so much Ana, you have no idea."

We make our way down the aisle, hand in hand, to the small reception area that is set up further down the beach. We're not having a traditional reception since there's so few guests. Instead, it's more like a family dinner. Everyone is seated at one large table where we have dinner and a few drinks together before parting ways. Gail, Taylor and Sawyer head back in the golf cart to the other side of the island while a boat takes the officiant back to a larger nearby island where a small plane is waiting for him.

"Ready to start our honeymoon Mrs. Grey?" Christian asks as he leads me to the master bedroom.

Instead of answering him with words, as soon as we're in the bedroom I reach up and kiss him. His hands run over my dress touching me everywhere he can. I push the suit jacket off before unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it down his arms. I love that I can touch him, anywhere, another thing that is a huge change from our first wedding.

"I want to undress you," he whispers.

"Please," I reply.

"You don't know how much I wanted to do this on the plane-"

"The plane?"

"On our flight to Fiji; you went and changed in the bedroom and I wanted so badly to go in there and undress you," he slowly lowers the zipper on the back of my dress.

"Really?"

"When he said you may kiss the bride, and I did, the only thing I thought about was how I could find a way to get you alone and get you out of that dress."

"Really? Even though…"

"I wanted to say fuck it, Ana. All I wanted in that moment was you, naked and beneath me as I made love to you."

"Christian…"

His words surprise me; I knew things changed just before our first wedding, that much was evident when we came home from the club that one night. But I hadn't expected him to be thinking about that when we kissed that day, even if it did cross my mind.

"It nearly killed me to know that you were in that back bedroom, undressing, without me. I wanted to go back there with you, to see what you wore under the dress. To find out if you felt as good as I imagined you had; to find out if wanted me just as I wanted you in that moment."

"I wish you had…come back into the room with me I mean."

"I was so worried about fucking things up, but it didn't mean I didn't want you any less. I wanted you then just as much as I want you right now."

He slips the dress from my body before groaning at the undergarments I'm wearing. A simple white, strapless lace bra and panties are the only thing I'm left standing in. Both items are completely see through, leaving nothing to the imagination. When I picked out what to wear under the dress, I wanted to give Christian a little surprise when I hoped he would undress me afterwards. From the look in his eyes, surprise is exactly what he is.

"Fuck me baby," he whispers. "You look stunning, so fucking sexy."

We make love all night; catching only short naps here and there but even then we're always touching each other somewhere. The following morning we make love on the balcony off our bedroom while watching the sunrise. For the week we're here, there is no one else but us. There's no press, no one taking pictures of us, no security following us…it's just the two of us. And it's absolutely perfect.

 _Author's Note: This story was the most emotional one I've ever written. Did you know that I started this story nearly 2 years ago? I cannot thank you all for sticking with me through these last two years, especially when the updates weren't as often as you hoped they would be. 97 chapters and more than 8000 reviews….I am stunned by how much you all loved this story._

 _As some of you know I have another new story on here, but I know it's not for everyone and that's okay. As I progress on that one, I'm going to be thinking of the next story. I have a few ideas I've been tossing around…so who knows you might see something else from me soon._

 _Once again, THANK YOU. Your reviews, your PMs and your comments on Facebook matter more than you'll ever know._


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